Samantha! (2018) s02e03 Episode Script

Season 2, Episode 3

1 A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES NOT RECOMMENDED FOR UNDER-18S [narrator] A movie about a child who doesn't want to grow up.
Immature.
Disturbed.
[laughs hysterically] What matters is to never stop believing.
[narrator] Samonster.
[Samantha scoffs] Traitor.
Now she decides to be professional? [Cindy] That's her job.
You're the one who helped Laila get this part.
Yes, because she had great references.
She was supposed to sleep with everybody and destroy the movie.
Mom, to imply that another woman Sweetheart, not feminism again! I can't stand it.
- [door opens] - [Dodoi] Guys Family decision.
Which college should I attend? Ask Cindy, she seems to have all the answers today.
Cindy, today is the last day to choose.
I've never felt this lost.
Oh, all men are lost, Dad.
And you guys need to figure things out without our help.
- So rude - [doorbell chimes] - Ouch, Dodoi! - [Dodoi] Sorry.
[Brandon] It's for me! I'll get it! Woo-hoo! [excited] It's the answer from the publishers! [Brandon] Here they are! There's got to be a channel that's not showing this trailer.
[TV announcer] And it's not only for kids! It's also for adults with childish souls! And talking about Samonster Enough.
Self-centered, hedonistic, and even paranoid people, who need the attention of everyone around them.
- [Dodoi sighs] - Wait! They're talking about me.
Not everything is about you.
Wait a minute, Dodoi! It's a typical post-post-modern issue: the childish woman.
[man on TV] Where did she come from? - Can't you see what's happening? - I can, they got my age wrong.
No! They're being sexist.
That's why I tell you Enough, Cindy! You sound like a broken record.
This has nothing to do with feminism, they're just two men undermining a woman.
[Cindy scoffs] [somber piano music plays] I hate Mom! She never listens.
The world refused to listen to me.
It couldn't, over this depressing song.
[Brandon] This song is not sad.
I can't even do this right! That's why they rejected me.
Even the one that published that empty book called Write it Yourself? They didn't want to compromise their "artistic integrity.
" [sighs] Don't overreact, Brandon.
Let me read this.
"Dear 'Breno', sometimes being illiterate can be a blessing.
" [laughs] And there's a petition asking that I never write again.
I don't have the energy to feel sorry for men today.
And you're making me pity you.
[Cindy sighs] - I'm feeling it, too.
- [door opens and closes] [presenter] Now, to get a different opinion, - we're going to hear from a woman.
- Maia Bebedouro who is blind and the founder of the event taking place today, "The Future of Feminism.
" Just "founder" is fine.
The "childish woman" is a misogynistic invention by men wearing turtlenecks.
It makes no sense.
I'm her fan! She's a role model to me.
Feminist and intellectual? I didn't raise you for this.
Turn it off.
[Maia] Samantha is a victim of this misogynous, slanderous movie.
Don't touch the remote! [Maia] This Samonster movie is a clear example of the objectification of women.
What an exemplary woman! Overcoming difficulties.
- The blind one? - Her too.
[man on TV] That was the representative opinion of one woman about another woman.
If any other women want to join the conversation, call the number on the screen.
Women, please call.
[Samantha on TV] Hi, Maia! This is Samantha! - [Maia] Samantha? - Mom, don't! - [Samantha] Yes! I love your glasses.
- [Maia] Thank you.
[Samantha] I just wanted to say I share your take on the movie.
[Samantha] It's absurd! You're absolutely right.
[Maia] It would have been a pleasure to have you here.
[Samantha] No problem.
I drive! [Maia] This movie is an attack on all women.
It is sexist, sure.
[Maia] Exactly, Samantha.
- It's "Sa-man-THA!", darling.
- [Maia] Oh! [Maia] You're coming? - Wait for me, I'll be right there.
Where do you think you're going? That woman practically summoned me to a serious event! - She did no such thing.
- They're criticizing the movie.
Mom, this event is not about the movie! And all you do is say sexist stuff! I never talk about your upper lip hair anymore! Make way.
- Over my dead body.
- Teenagers are hard, you know that? I'd rather be sacrificed like Joan of Arc than let you go.
Why didn't you listen to me? Maybe I needed to hear it from a blind woman.
- Those who don't see, hear better.
- Find your own cause.
Causes are collective, kiddo! You're not going to embarrass me in public! [car lock clicks] [engine starts] Feminism is mine! But the car is mine! - [car thuds as it hits the road] - [Samantha] Bye, kiddo! [car accelerates] Son, I am really confused about what I want to be We can be failures together.
The men's era is over.
[laughs] You talked to Cindy, huh? She told me that as well when I asked for the toothpaste.
She is right.
Look at my vocational test.
- I got "child.
" - What's that? An app that decides what a person should be when they grow up.
Great! Give me that.
It only works for older people, like Dad.
- [tablet buzzes] - [Dodoi moans] [tablet buzzes] - [sighs] Maybe it's genetic.
- Who made this shitty app? Brazil's biggest vocational therapist, Dr.
Barbara Basso.
She's the one who helped that blonde TV host go to Record.
Who does she think she is? I'm going after her! And leave me on the worst day of my life? Shit, that's true.
- You have a grandmother! - She looks at me weird.
- That's just how she is.
- Exactly.
- [bell rings] - [door opens] [Samantha] Maia? [laughs] Oh, I couldn't resist.
I had to see you in person.
[Samantha] Oh, right, where are my manners? It's Samantha! - I recognized your voice.
- Oh, thank you.
Such readiness To come all the way here just to say hi.
I'm not here just to say hi.
But enough with the talking.
Why don't we use your event to destroy this movie about me? Have you thought of what us women can do together? - Yes, I have a thesis on it.
- Ah! It also alerts people against women who use feminism for their own benefit.
- Like you.
- Not my benefit.
[Samantha] You know I represent millions of girls.
Yes, the self-esteem problem of a whole generation.
But you practically called me the new Joan of Arc.
I would never use that example.
This movement is secular.
God is sexist.
It's never too late to change.
Joan of Arc was super famous, like myself.
I didn't think you were a feminist.
Until today.
I'm always open to trying new things, you should do the same.
Your movie is all the rage right now, and I want to bring an intelligent, academic debate to the masses.
- Excuse me.
- Wait That's perfect! You bring in the content, I bring in the masses.
Think of the number of people in the audience.
We always get many speakers, but the audience Imagine having a speaker that everyone's talking about.
A speaker can always disappear I mean, cancel.
Preferably at the climax.
- Like the closing.
- [bell rings] Is it OK if it's televised? [sighs] That's my element, honey.
Speed up, Doctor.
I need this answer today or I'll miss the deadline.
I've never seen this before.
It's like four different people answered the same questionnaire.
I was trying to respect the opinion of everyone back home.
And the grocery store guy who thinks I'm a dance teacher.
Ah That explains a lot.
Ah Can you name one decision you made all by yourself in your life? Ah Samantha! I chose to say yes when she asked me to marry her.
[doctor] Oh She proposed because I'm a modern man - like my daughter wants me to be.
- Again! Trying to please someone.
Why? Is it wrong? I've never been to therapy.
If you could explain to me what I'm supposed to say Before your wife and kids, who helped you make your decisions? - [laughs] No one.
- Huh? Just my mother.
She has a way of making you realize she is right.
You are stuck in this box, trying to please everybody.
You're only going to free yourself when you figure out what you want.
Like to please myself? [people chattering] [woman 1] She will give up, look at her face.
[woman 2] She is just a Facebook feminist.
[woman 3] What a waste of time.
[woman 4] Let's give her a chance! [knocking on door] - Is this occupied? - Politically.
By women.
I need to use the bathroom! Go pee on the street.
Men love doing that! [Jejé] Cindy you are joining the most radical feminist group in the city.
[people cheer] Are you ready to change your life forever? - [Cindy] Yes.
- [girls heckle her] And make a blood pact with no turning back or quitting? - Yes.
- [girls heckle her] Once a radical feminist, you can never go back to being an average feminist.
Are you sure? Absolutely.
Then let's start your initiation.
Protocol Four, girls.
Is that? [Jejé] Gooseberry jelly.
We only use blood to water the orchard.
If you don't mind, I'd like to read a few words.
Welcome to Radical Feminists! [clapping and cheering] - [woman 1] Down with patriarchy! - [woman 2] Down! That's it? Most girls give up at the cup part.
Can I read my speech anyway? [toilet flushes] [military march music] Do you know how many appointments I had to cancel to take care of you? You were just around the corner.
Doing something important, "Brancon.
" My name is Brandon, with a D.
I'll go get more coffee.
Coffee is bad for the bones.
Why would I want to grow if I'm not going to be anyone anyway? [Socorro gasps] [suite from Swan Lake plays] Not that I care, but [Socorro] What elasticity and balance, my little tiptoes! [Socorro] I knew you were blood of my blood.
You have a raw talent! - Me? - A ballet prodigy! We have to start practicing if you want to pursue a professional career.
Do I want that? Great idea! Becoming famous before I'm ten? Long before that! You will need the three S's: sweat, suffering, and Socorro.
[Brandon breathes heavily] "And that's why, for me feminism is like a jackfruit.
" [applause] [people comment positively] [cheering and applause] Beautiful.
We're going to speak at the event today.
Why don't you read that speech? I'm not good at speaking in public but I'm great at protesting.
[quietly] And there's a fake feminist infiltrated in the event.
[people react with surprise] Maia Bebedouro, the blind and feminist icon invited a fake? Yes, a woman who says feminism is boring and doesn't understand sexism.
There are lots of those.
What else does she do? She says her daughter will never date if she doesn't start shaving [cries of disbelief] even though she's not ready for any of those things.
[Jejé] Ah.
She uses other people's conditioner and leaves the empty bottle in the shower.
- [people chatter] - [Jejé] That's it! We have to destroy her, whatever her name is! [cellphone beeps] Do you want to answer that? - No, it's not a phone call.
- [beeping] Someone is tracking me.
[Cindy] Excuse me.
[beeping speeds up] Cindy! I didn't know you were coming.
I could have given you a ride.
You said you were only going to use the tracking app if I went missing, to find my body.
Another reason for me to protest against you! So you already know Maia invited Mom to speak at the event, huh? [Samantha] Fab, isn't it? Mom, no one says "fab" anymore.
Are speaking at the event? I'm closing the event.
Isn't that great? Mommy is a leader, honey, and I really need you.
Help me with my speech, and protest against it later.
By "help," you mean do it for you? I won't help a feminist of convenience.
Not the whole thing! I know where to start.
I just need the rest.
You had an idea? "Samantha, the modern Joan of Arc!" Do you know how Joan of Arc ended up? Super famous, like Madonna.
Mom, that idea is Perfect.
I love it.
I can't wait for you to say all that in public.
[Samantha] Wow.
Look at you being supportive.
Yes, I'm even going to help you finish your speech.
[Samantha] That's so nice! [Cindy] What do you say we make you a sexy Joan of Arc? [Samantha scoffs] I wouldn't do it any other way.
[classical music plays] [Socorro, in French] S'il vous plaît [Socorro, in French] Allongé.
[Socorro] Développé Allongé.
À terre, s'il vous plaît.
Pirouette.
- First The Nutcracker, then Swan Lake.
- [Brandon gasps] [Brandon pants] I don't know I was picturing a career in modern dance.
Modern dance is experimentalism.
Great idea! I love experimenting.
You don't know the first thing about ballet! [Socorro scoffs] I googled it while you were rubbing your bunions.
You have a long way to go before you have vision.
We started 20 minutes ago.
Give me half an hour.
Grandkids don't have vision, grandmas do.
Grandmas have cataracts.
Where is this coming from? I discovered you! I am a young prodigy, someone would discover me eventually.
Young? In Russia they do somersaults before they can even walk.
- So I'm behind, then? - [affirming] Hmm.
Help me! - What's the magic word? - Please.
[whispering] "I need you, Grandma.
" I need you, Grandma.
Oh, of course, mon chéri.
[laughs] AUDITORIUM [knocking] - You won't believe what I found out.
- [Jejé sighs] Not now, look at this.
SEXY JOAN OF ARC [Jejé] Maia betrayed us with a desperate nobody who was famous last century and decided to be a feminist yesterday.
Let's protest! No.
This time we're going with Protocol 18.
The most radical one.
[quietly] What's that? I don't know.
We've never used it.
[woman 1] Not 18.
I'm scared! [woman 2] We've never gone so far.
[woman 3] What was 17 again? I'm not ready.
[imitating Dodoi] I'm not sure this is the path I should choose, Mommy.
[Dodoi, imitating Socorro] Dodoi, your mother knows what's best for you.
[Dodoi] Do you want me to be sick with heartbreak? [imitating Socorro] Admit it, you need me! I've raised you until now, I can raise you forever.
- But what if I want to be happy? - Happy means broke! [angrily] That's for weak men! A strong man does what his mother tells him to do.
This was all that doctor's idea, wasn't it? - [doctor] What? - Yes, you! If you were a real doctor, you'd have a TV show.
I bet your mother never called you Doctor, she probably calls you loser.
[upset] How do you know my nickname? [stammers] I I don't, it was my mother talking.
[applause and cheering] [cheering] Mom! I lied about your Joan of Arc speech being a good idea.
[laughs] Because it wasn't your idea.
No, Mom.
Joan of Arc was burned alive.
They will do worse to you! Cindy, Maia herself chose me to speak at the event.
[quietly] I'm talking about the Radical Feminists.
Maia only wants controversy.
- I'm not deaf, you know? - [Cindy, quietly] Come here.
Cindy, since when are feminists radical? - They water zucchinis using blood! - [Samantha] Yuck.
[Maia] You can't run away now! It's time! Trust me, Mom.
- Why should I? - [glass shatters] - You were going to protest against me.
- I don't want to be motherless.
[Maia] Samantha, I can still hear you! That's what I get for inviting celebrities.
Cindy, this is the first time someone takes me seriously after that movie.
If I cancel now, no one will ever respect me.
That's not true.
Yes, it is.
[woman talks over PA system] [sighs] Mom I am who I am because of you.
- [Samantha sighs] - You may be selfish, vain, and have loose morals but you are my role model.
[Samantha sighs] I would ground you if I wasn't so moved.
- [Maia] Everyone is waiting! - [host] Our last guest Don't, Mom! - [Samantha sighs] - [host] To close the event I have to.
[crowd cheers] [host] She's a celebrity born under the spotlight [applause and cheering] [host] At the age of nine, she started in a children's show [Cindy] Mom read this.
Even the radical feminists cried.
It's going to be OK.
"Feminism is like a jackfruit.
" Cindy, this is so beautiful! - Thank you, Mom.
- Thank you, my love.
Am I stealing your ideas though? You are going to act, Mom.
You're a great actress.
- [host] Here for you, Samantha! - [Samantha] OK.
Here I go, Bolshoi! That's the spirit, dear! You'll easily adjust abroad.
I am going to be a child star, just like my mother.
Much bigger than your mother! Music for children is a niche.
Ballet is universal.
I can't wait to see Cindy's face.
[mocking Cindy] "The era of men is over.
" Well, the era of dancers starts now! Cindy? Who is Cindy? [Socorro] Ballet dancers have no family.
No? Not after your parents sign the papers.
Well Artists have to make sacrifices.
Coffee will be my only friend.
[coffee machine whirs] I've told you already.
Coffee is bad for the bones.
What? No! Half of my will to be an artist was actually an excuse to drink coffee striking a pose.
You can smoke, though.
[Brandon] Hmm.
[Brandon inhales and exhales] Bleugh! I'll stick with coffee.
What about your talent? All I wanted was to be a prodigy.
And I already am one.
It's a wish I no longer have.
Brancon, I'm your grandmother.
Do you want to end up like your dad? Great idea.
To end up like my dad.
And you suggested it! [Brandon sighs] The taste of wasted potential.
[Dodoi] I told you.
That wasn't me! I'll prescribe that you never return to my office.
The college application deadline is today.
- I'll just ask my mother.
- No! I mean I'll help you.
Since you were young, you've been conditioned to please everyone so that they would like you.
- And you're going to fix that? - I don't fix things! I find a person's calling.
You need to choose a career where you can please others.
I don't know.
A masseuse or something festive Have you considered being the face of an aphrodisiac drink? - Like Catuaba? - Yes! I can see it already.
Enough! I'm gonna be something everyone hates.
[tablet] Lawyer.
[cheering and applause] THE FUTURE OF FEMINISM Feminism is like a jackfruit.
[Samantha] Beautiful phrase, right, girls? That's why I chose it to open my speech.
You gave her your speech? That speech? She is my mother.
[Samantha] People are used to seeing me shine on TV.
But I'm a serious woman.
[applause] [Jejé] Traitor.
- [audience boos] - [woman in crowd] She froze! - [woman 2] Sub-celebrity! - [woman 3] They should have invited Geisy.
[woman 4] She can't say a word that isn't about herself.
[audience chatters] [director's voice echoes] Samantha! [knocking on door] - [knocking] - I knew this song was going to be a flop.
That's what you get for letting Porky sing solo.
Flop? Everybody is outside.
You have to go out there and help.
During this difficult phase, the last thing we need is disunity.
[sighs] Listen to me Porky may sing it, but the song belongs to all of you.
All of us? One more reason for me not to go.
- They'll see who - [director] Please, Samantha! Let's go! Samantha, it's important for them.
You have to understand that, or you may end up all alone.
[director at door] Samantha, it's time! - [music plays through headphones] - Space is a hug - [Ciggy sighs] - As tight as the Big Bang - [woman] Where's Samantha? - [man] Where is she? [Plimploms' song plays] [man] Where's Samantha? - [man] What happened? - [woman] She's not coming? [man] Where is Samantha? [audience chatters] Feminism is like a jackfruit.
[audience quietens down] But I'm not the one who wrote this.
A very smart young lady did.
That's why I want to invite her to come up here.
Cindy! [muted applause] [Samantha] Go get them! [raspy female voice] This woman is everything, she's so strong! [feedback whines] Feminism is like a jackfruit.
You can't put your hand in it without getting dirty.
[applause and cheering] [Dodoi] Son, Daddy has made a decision.
Where's my son? - Wasting his life - What? He's taking a shower to remove the make-up.
Oh What have you done to him? Doesn't matter.
That boy doesn't listen to me.
He could be more like you.
I even told him What do you mean, like me? An adult, independent man who chooses his own destiny? [hesitating] Uh, uh, uh I have an announcement to make.
I made a decision by myself.
You are looking at a future lawyer.
Hmm I think law is a good career choice.
[laughs] Maybe today wasn't a total waste of time.
We still have a chance, my love.
But this white boy he won't listen to anyone.
He likes coffee more than he likes his parents.
[Dodoi laughs] That's my Brandon.
[Samantha] You made me cry, kiddo.
But you could have mentioned that I'm your inspiration.
Some applause wouldn't have hurt anyone.
Mom, you were simply a decent human being.
What? "A decent human being"? No one has ever said that to me.
Maybe that's my prize.
Sometimes doing the right thing is our biggest prize.
[woman] Samantha! I loved the tour de force speech! Cathartic! Emotional! [Samantha] My daughter is really very smart.
- I was talking about you.
- Oh The way you heard the words and were touched by them.
That's the only way Maia can see.
[hesitating] I think you have the truth that I'm looking for.
Maybe you could be a great actress.
Really? I've been thinking about that.
Cindy told me that herself today.
Nice to meet you.
I'm Carmen, theater director.
Oh, theater? That's great! Thank you for your kindness.
Maybe the stage is too serious for you.
You're used to television's more banal, childish language.
Oh, Carmen, you're so lucky.
I'm very interested in showing the world a more serious side of me.
[Samantha laughs softly] - Let's go.
- [engine starts] Subtitle translation by Gabriela Schumann, Jonathan Hemming