Sparking Joy with Marie Kondo (2021) s01e02 Episode Script

The Joy of Balance

[ambient music playing]
-[girl] Papa!
[girl] For me!
[man] For you? Oh, no. For Mama.
-Just kidding.
-[man] Just kidding.
[Marie Kondo in Japanese]
What I've learned through my work
is that objects are not just objects,
but companions.
Did you finish yours, Takumi?
-[in Japanese] Yes.
-That's quick. Amazing!
[Takumi speaking Japanese]
[Marie in Japanese] I teach my children
to have love and respect for things.
-Only one… [speaking Japanese] …done.
-[Marie and Takumi speaking Japanese]
A cheery bag.
[Marie in Japanese] First, I show
my kids that tidying up is fun.
[in Japanese]
Can you take this over there?
[girl and Takumi speaking Japanese]
[Marie] When other family members
witness this, it is inspiring.
I have found when one person feels
the joy of finishing tidying…
[upbeat music playing]
…that same energy will ripple
to the people around them.
[music continues]
Like me, Joanna is someone
who tries to work hard…
-[woman in English] Hey, guys.
-[man] Hey, Jo.
[in Japanese] …and also balance it
with her family life.
-[Joanna in English] Know what you want?
-Cold brew.
[man] Any milk or sugar in the cold brew?
How did the rose syrup get over here?
[Joanna] The Palm has been open
for four years.
I put everything I had
into making The Palm a space
for everyone to enjoy and connect.
We're gonna dial in this coffee
really quick
and make sure
that it's perfect cold brew, black.
[man] Black, no sugar?
But it's also really hard
as a small business owner,
and quite stressful.
The work never really ends.
My time doesn't get split
the way I want it to.
These are getting kind of beat up.
Do we have more these anywhere?
-Okay. Good.
Mystery box. It could be anywhere.
I'm the accountant,
manager, social media person.
[woman] Thank you.
[Joanna] Thank you. Thanks a lot!
I need to be able
to connect with my customers.
By the time I get home,
I don't have much energy left
for my family or for myself.
When I'm at work,
I feel like I'm failing at being a mom,
and when I'm with… Being a mom,
I feel like I'm failing at work.
[man] So we got two orders here,
just came through. Beautiful.
[Joanna] Hoag and I will get in the lineup
and just pump 'em out.
-Can we move these boxes a tiny bit?
-[man] Yeah.
It needs a home.
[cheerful music playing]
[greeting in Japanese]
[woman] Hello.
[Marie] This cafe is cute.
-[Marie] Let's go in.
-[Marie in Japanese and English] Hi!
-[Joanna] Hello.
-How are you?
-Good, and you?
-I'm Joanna.
-I'm Marie.
-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.
-I'm Michael.
Nice to meet you.
[speaking Japanese]
[Iida] This is such a cute store.
Thank you so much. Thank you for coming.
[Iida] It seems like you sell a lot of,
uh, knickknacks in addition to coffee.
-Yes, we sell local brands.
-[Marie speaking Japanese]
-[Iida gasps] Oh, matcha.
-That's blueberry matcha.
-Blueberry matcha?
-We have to make you one.
-[speaking Japanese]
-[Joanna] Oh, I'd love to.
-[Iida] Lovely.
-[Marie speaking Japanese]
[Iida] Oh my gosh.
My daughter loves things like this.
They make everyone so happy.
My daughter is f… uh, five.
Same. I have a little boy that's five.
Wow. Yes. And the younger daughter
is, uh, four years old.
-[Joanna] Oh, two?
-Two. Two daughters. [chuckles]
-I have one and I'm so tired. Two is hard.
-[Marie laughs] Yeah.
[Iida] Everything is pretty tidy,
but which area
are you having trouble with?
Up front. [chuckles]
[Iida translating] Oh, this way? I see.
[Joanna] We can't find things,
and sometimes things go missing.
The clutter is making more work for us
so that we can't focus
on the things that matter.
-[Marie speaking Japanese]
-[Iida] I see.
I could do some good work here.
-It's bad.
-I see what you mean.
[Joanna grunts]
[Marie speaking Japanese]
Pillowcase. [laughs]
I'm so excited for Marie to teach me
everything she knows. [chuckles]
-[Marie speaking Japanese]
-[Iida] Oh my gosh. This is so heavy.
I would love to be able
to work on tidying my life.
These don't belong in here.
I'm trying to get everything organized
in a way that we can all pitch in
and keep it going for our sanity.
[Iida] What is this box for?
My catchall for things
that we don't know where they go. [laughs]
[Marie speaking Japanese]
[Iida] Shared spaces
where a lot of people use them,
it's very important
to have a simple system
where everybody
can immediately tell what goes where.
-[Joanna] I love that.
-[Marie speaking Japanese]
[Iida] And I'm very curious
about what this is.
When we're done with the grinds,
we tap them into the box.
[speaking Japanese]
See, it is so much fun learning this,
'cause it's my first time tidying a café.
Super cute. [speaking Japanese]
-[Iida] This is ultra-cute.
-Uh, is this you?
-The kids like to name them.
-[Marie speaking Japanese]
Oh, that kind of concept, idea,
sparks so much joy for me.
[Joanna] It's cute. Right? [laughs]
[Iida] Have you always been
pretty bad at tidying?
I go through, like, phases.
I have ADHD, so I get easily distracted.
Spaces that affect me directly
cause more issues.
So, the things I see.
When things are tucked away,
I don't stress about them as much.
This is part of my problem.
Things get stuck in my brain.
[speaking Japanese]
[Iida] So, in order to create
a simple system here and have a tidy café,
I'd really need to learn
where you do your administrative work.
I do it in my office at home.
We live just about a block away.
-Would it be okay if I see your office?
For sure.
[upbeat music playing]
[in Japanese] Joanna has
a coffee shop that needs to be organized,
but she does a lot of her work from home,
which is a different tidying challenge.
-[Joanna] We're here.
-[Marie speaking Japanese]
-Hey, guys.
-[man] Hey.
-Marie is here.
-[Ben] Look, buddy, Marie's here.
-[Joanna] Marie! This is my husband, Ben.
-Hi. How are you?
-Hi. Nice to meet you.
-Come say hello.
-And my son, Julien.
-Come on, buddy. He's playing a game.
-Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm Marie.
I like you.
-I'm so happy to hear that. Thank you!
-[Joanna] Aw, buddy!
-Do you like tidying?
-[Ben] Do you like cleaning up, buddy?
-[all laugh]
-[Marie speaks Japanese]
[Iida] That's so true.
[speaking Japanese]
[Iida] This is such a lovely home.
Thank you so much.
Can I give you a little tour?
[Iida] Yes. Absolutely. Thank you.
This is actually Ben's office.
I've been married to my husband, Ben,
for ten years now.
Ben is literally my best friend.
He completes me.
[Ben] When we met, I was, like,
fresh off the boat from Australia.
We met at a place on Hollywood Boulevard,
and I walked in,
and I saw this girl.
We fall in love with each other.
We got married in our twenties,
and it was fun.
There's something about…
-Being broke and fun.
-Yeah. That was the thing.
Like, we had adventures,
and then five years ago, we had Julien.
[Joanna] And then
it forced you into adulthood.
You didn't force me into adulthood.
It was going to happen sooner or later.
[Joanna] Julien,
did you want to show us your room?
-[Marie speaking Japanese]
-[Iida] It's a substantial room for him.
[Joanna] He has the biggest room
in the house.
The transition for him
coming into this big space felt scary,
so we allowed him to sleep in our bedroom.
So, this room is mainly just for playing
and making a mess right now. [laughs]
-[Marie laughs]
-[Ben] Yeah.
I just hope Marie's gonna be able
to help us, because nothing in the house
has a home.
Things kind of travel in our house
from, like, one place to another place.
"Oh, maybe they go here."
One thing I can say is we need to
not be spending our time always cleaning,
putting things away.
What we need is time together as a family.
We need to be able to spend time together.
[Julien] I wanna be the lead.
-You're the leader.
-You're the lead, bud.
-[Joanna] This is my office.
-[Marie] Ah.
[Joanna] This is the part
that I don't know how to fix.
I use it to work.
This room,
it's a little bit of everything.
I use it to work out.
It's my closet, and it's also become
a bit of a storage room. [chuckles]
[Iida] And I see some documents,
some paper goods, on the floor.
[Joanna] Some of this is work.
Some of this is Julien's artwork.
Some things like that.
[Marie in Japanese]
When you work in your living space,
it's hard to keep everything for work
from getting in the way of everything
you need in your life.
[Joanna] Things tend to
not have a permanent home,
and they kind of shift places.
[Marie in Japanese]
It can take away focus from both.
It can add stress
to have your work stuff in plain sight
when you are trying
to be with your family.
[speaking Japanese]
[Iida] By the way, you are fully aware
of where everything is.
Some days I am, and some days I'm not.
[Iida] So, let's definitely make it a goal
to create a permanent home for each item.
I love it.
My office has gotten a bit out of control,
so I have a really hard time choosing
and prioritizing
what needs to happen first.
[Iida] Accessories,
small accessories, I see.
It's hard for me to take in information
for, like, a long period of time.
What's happening in my head is
that if I don't write something down,
it goes in one ear and out the other.
When I was a kid, my dad did not know
how to deal with my ADHD,
and that was really hurtful for me
because I didn't want it either.
I didn't ask for it.
It pushed me into hiding my condition.
[Ben] He wants his stuffed giraffe,
so I'm gonna go find it. Okay?
-[Iida] No problem. Absolutely.
-[Joanna] See you in a bit, bud.
Thanks for helping!
[Julien] Love you.
-[gong chimes softly]
-[speaking Japanese]
[Iida] Would you give me permission
to greet your office?
[gong chimes softly]
[Iida] Okay. Great.
My space has become
like a weed. [chuckles]
Like, overgrown
and undernourished a bit.
I feel a little sad in my space.
[speaking Japanese]
[Iida] Your coffee shop, I could tell
that you care so much about it,
down to the smallest details,
and the love that you imbue
into the space is so apparent,
but this is that space
where you recharge your energy.
[speaking Japanese]
[Iida] Once we've clarified
your living space and also your mind,
I think when you go about other things,
such as scheduling your work life,
those things will become much more clear
and easier to do as well.
[speaking Japanese]
[Iida] I think once we've tidied,
the more fun you'll have in this space,
and you'll have an opportunity
to reconsider
how you like to spend your time.
That sounds like freedom.
[bell chimes]
[in Japanese] For me,
creating a "power spot"
and spending time in it
is one of my favorite ways to relax.
Your power spot can be a side table,
a comfortable chair,
even an entire room.
The only requirement is that it be filled
with objects that spark joy.
Crystals, candles,
and flowers bring both joy and serenity.
For Joanna, her store is her power spot.
By spending time in your power spot,
you will dramatically increase
the enjoyment you feel at home.
[Marie speaking Japanese]
[Iida] What I want to do now is to ask you
about the specific furniture, um,
inside this space.
-Is this your chair?
-Oh, how cute!
-[Joanna chuckles]
[Iida] I… I'm sorry. This whole time
I was wondering where your chair is.
[Joanna laughs]
[Iida] So cute.
[Joanna] Whoa! Don't fall! [laughs]
-[speaking Japanese]
-[Iida] I can't sit on this. Sorry.
It's quite hard.
[Iida] So, you're exercising
while you're working at your desk.
I'm trying to. [chuckles]
So, how about this desk itself?
Does it spark joy for you?
I like the way the desk looks,
but honestly, it's not enough space.
-It feels very slim.
I find that I can't stash anything else
in the drawers besides office supplies.
[Marie speaking Japanese]
[Iida] So right now, you feel like
you could use a little more space.
So, when thinking about how you're going
to be ultimately using this room,
perhaps I can help you create
a storage system that's much simpler.
[Joanna] That'd be wonderful.
[Iida] So, just as we do
when we're tidying our whole house,
in this one room, we will choose
what sparks joy for you in each category.
[Marie speaking Japanese]
Only if you have time, you can start
looking at the sentimental items
within these boxes.
[speaking Japanese]
And as you finish, you'll be able
to visually see your progress.
And this will help you keep yourself calm.
I'm excited to show you what I can do.
-[speaking Japanese]
[speaking Japanese]
So all the clothes that are hanging here,
I'm gonna take everything out.
-But let's use that space outside.
This is insane.
[Joanna laughing]
It's gonna just keep going.
One more. [chuckles]
-So, that's the last batch?
-Yes. That's everything.
[speaking Japanese]
-Let's try.
[Joanna] I don't know.
Not as much joy?
[speaking Japanese]
Whether something sparks joy or not
is something that we feel immediately
in our hearts the moment we hold
that item in our hands.
[speaking Japanese]
Choosing what sparks joy is all about
how your body reacts to the specific item.
Mentally, you might think,
"Well, it's a shame to let this go,"
or, "It's too old, so I should let it go,"
but your body
and your heart always know the answer.
Okay. Perfect. So, the easy ones first.
This sweater. I see that you have a hole.
This is a hard no.
[Iida] For items that we're letting go,
let's do so with gratitude.
Express a thank you.
Thank you, sweater. [chuckles]
I learn very visually,
I remember things visually,
so Marie's advice made sense.
That one, yes.
I wear these when I feel really lazy.
[speaking Japanese]
[Iida] Oh, that's so important.
It sparks joy to be lazy. Right?
-This is true. I like that.
-[Iida] Yes.
This one's new,
and I haven't gotten to wear it yet,
so I'm really excited to wear it. [laughs]
[Iida] Is it important
to keep the tag on for you?
[Joanna] No. We can totally take it off.
[Iida] My recommendation
for items that spark definite joy
is to always take off the tags.
-[Marie speaking Japanese]
-[Iida] By doing that--
-[Joanna] Commitment!
-Absolutely. Exactly as you say.
My favorite leather jacket.
-[speaking Japanese]
-Savor that feeling.
When you touch that jacket,
how do you feel?
Do you envision yourself wearing it?
You know how it feels when you wear it.
Mm-hmm. I get so excited
that I get to wear my leather jackets.
Because when I was a kid,
there was this guy at the mall.
He used to wear leather jackets,
and he had this crazy mohawk.
And I thought he was cool
because he was going against the grain.
He was a rebel.
He was authentic.
At that point in my life,
I had to hide parts of myself
because I didn't feel heard or supported
or like I could be authentic with it.
And I was scared in some ways
that I would just be rejected
for what I actually was.
Every time I wear leather jackets,
it makes me feel like
I'm allowed to be myself.
When I wear clothes
that make me feel comfortable,
like my jackets,
I could be the person
I felt like inside on the outside.
[Iida] It's so important for clothes
to be able to feel that way.
[speaking Japanese]
By doing that,
you're increasing your sensitivity to joy.
Leather jackets are my joy. [laughs]
I have a few of them,
but they're different.
-[speaking Japanese]
-Sparks joy.
[Joanna] I realize that all of my things
have memories,
whether I think they do or don't.
It feels really freeing to start
to go through the clothing.
It's almost like I'm closing a chapter,
and then I get to begin a new one.
Thank you so much
for coming and helping me.
-I have a lot to do…
-[Marie chuckles]
…but I promise I won't let you down.
[Iida] I believe in you. Don't worry.
[in Japanese] Joanna said that
she is not good at remembering things.
I hope that she will be able to simplify
everything and live an easier life.
[Joanna] I'm ready to roll.
[upbeat music playing]
This one, yes.
I might need round two of coffee.
Oh my God. I need to go to the gym.
Yesterday, I worked really hard.
I think I'm gonna move these guys here.
Sorting through all my clothes,
and we've got donate,
we've got sell.
-I'm gonna go finish up my office.
-All righty.
All right.
You don't have to help with documents.
You excited? [laughs]
I've got a pile of things
that I need to go through.
This part, I'm not excited about.
A lot of spaces in my office,
and I put a Band-Aid on it,
'cause my brain's like,
ding, ding, ding, ding.
[grunts] Ah. I'm overwhelmed.
[light music playing]
The first thing is
I take all the things that bring joy,
like photos, papers,
and I sort them into a separate space.
I've been avoiding them
because I've been focused too much
on being in the shop.
Some of the stuff,
I don't know what it is. [laughs]
My sentimental things
are mixed in with my taxes. [chuckles]
They don't go together,
'cause these items spark joy.
Taxes, I just wanna, like,
dump the whole thing in the trash,
but I can't. [laughs]
This is a heart that Julien made me.
Seeing these spark
around connecting with family.
Honestly, because I'm so forgetful,
I think they help me
remember beautiful times.
I'm gonna go ahead and put these away
with the rest of the sentimental stuff.
[music continues]
[man] Good morning.
-[Joanna] How are you guys?
-Doing well.
-Did the Shoreline order come in yet?
-No. Not yet.
Guys, I cannot wait to tell you
about all this Marie stuff.
I wanna make this place
the easiest place to work.
For me, like, I wanted this to be a place
filled with love that people could feel,
to be that welcoming vibe of,
like, "come on in."
When I was a kid,
I didn't have a place like that,
because I didn't have family
that was there for me.
So, I had to build one.
It's that home for everyone else that…
Don't laugh, but, where
everybody knows your name.
[chuckles] It's real.
-Are you guys ready?
-Absolutely. Let's get going.
[Joanna] Part of Marie's process
is just pulling out the items
and finding the things
that bring us joy first.
Um, separate categories,
and once we're done,
we're gonna figure out,
in new bins, where everything goes.
-Great. I love that.
-[Joanna] All right. The box cutter?
-[man 1] Do we need six?
[man 2] This one has this thing
to cut twine in there.
[man 1] There's the non-joy one,
the one that's not pink.
-[Joanna] Donate the rest?
We don't use this anymore, but it's from
when we first opened the shop.
Those gold stamps we used to make.
But I don't know if you'll use it again.
-Old Joanna would have clung on to this.
-[man laughs]
Marie's process is to be grateful
for the things that have served us.
-So, bye-bye. Thank you.
-[man 2] Thank you for your service.
I think this has actually empowered me
to take charge and take the lead on things
that I would normally
just allow to add up,
and be able
to make this a more joyful place to work.
Definitely sparks joy.
It just needs a little bit of love.
-Yeah. True.
-Yeah. Let's keep going.
[music fades out]
-[Marie] Hi.
-Hi. How are you?
-Good. How are you?
-[Ben] Hello.
-I'm excited to show you everything.
-[Iida] Good to see you.
[Joanna] Welcome back.
So, these are some of the items
that I have left to fold.
-There's kind of a lot. [chuckles]
-[Marie speaking Japanese]
-[Iida] Let's have a lesson on folding.
-[Joanna] Okay. Perfect.
[speaking Japanese]
[Iida] Ben, if you could be so kind
to bring some of your own clothes out,
-I'd love to teach you as well.
-Really? Awesome. I'll be right back.
That is awesome.
-I want to get him in on this anyways.
-[Marie chuckles]
I haven't been
the tidiest person, you know,
but what I'm learning is
that your environment
is a reflection of
how you feel about yourself inside.
[Iida] A hoodie, very nice.
Usually, I just hang these up.
-[speaking Japanese]
-[Iida] It depends on your storage space.
If you wanna hang them, that's fine.
If you have open shelves,
you can stack them.
Um, but if you'd rather store them
in drawers, this is the way to do it.
[Ben] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[speaking Japanese]
I recommend standing them upright
and filing them vertically
because when you stack them in the drawer,
you tend to forget what's inside.
-Right? It's harder to see.
-[Ben] Yes. You do.
[speaking Japanese]
[Iida] A hoodie, very nice.
[Marie speaking Japanese]
[Iida] So, it's just the same,
even for a woman's hoodie.
Oh, I forgot something important,
a key point when folding clothes.
That is to fold with a lot of love,
as if you're sending love
through the palm of your hands.
The goal of folding clothes isn't merely
to tuck them into tiny little shapes,
it's actually a way
to express gratitude for your clothes.
-That's good for you.
-I think that's important for me.
I'm definitely very rough on my clothes.
[speaking Japanese]
[Iida] So, first step is to
fold into a big rectangle
towards the center.
[speaking Japanese]
[Iida] Tuck back the hoodie,
then fold in thirds.
-And this becomes a rectangle again.
-[Ben] Amazing!
I want to learn.
-[Ben] You wanna learn? This is fun.
-[Iida] Would you like to try?
So, I fold those?
-[Marie speaking Japanese]
-[Iida] Good. Towards the center.
-[speaking Japanese]
-Can you smooth it out for me? Smooth.
Good. Like, as if you're petting it.
Can you do it with me?
Tuck towards the center.
[Marie] Fold in half.
-Good job, bud.
-Good job.
[speaking Japanese]
I love that the whole family's clothes
lined up like that.
I thought, you know, Marie was gonna come
and help Jo with the business.
I didn't expect
how it's really impacting our parenting.
Especially as Julien's gotten older,
and he's started to emulate our behavior,
um, I realized that you… you have to start
being a role model and start--
-Just doing it instead of just saying it.
[speaking Japanese]
[Iida] So this is the fundamental way
of folding clothes.
-It'll be your homework.
-[speaking Japanese]
Let's try tidying our sentimental items.
[Joanna] Amazing.
[speaking Japanese]
[Iida] Remember that the goal here
is not to let go of as many as possible.
[Marie speaking Japanese]
[Iida] What's important is to really savor
each sentimental item that you have,
and truly cherish what you decide to keep.
So, it's really hard for me to decide
when Julien makes art,
since he just kind of started to make art.
I think this is one of the first times
that he… we really started seeing, like,
how good he is at drawing.
And I think that's worth keeping.
I mean, it's…
It makes me feel, like… happy.
Could we make a category
for these kinds of drawings
and then go through and find the ones
that spark the most joy?
[Iida] Took the words out of my mouth.
That's exactly what I was gonna say.
[Marie chuckles, speaks Japanese]
It's very important to go through
crafts like these
that your children make all at once,
so you can compare and contrast.
[Joanna] I'm gonna make this pile here.
We'll put the turkey in
with the other arts and crafts.
-[Iida] Let's do that.
-[Joanna] 'Kay.
This is, um, an old picture of Ben.
[Iida] Lovely. [chuckles]
It's special to me
because I used to keep it in my notebook.
[Ben] I didn't know you had that.
I did, and I put the little stickers.
It says "love."
-I didn't even know you had that.
-You didn't know I was a scrapbooker?
[both laugh]
There was this time
before I opened the shop
that I consider, like,
one of the best times of my life.
Skateboarding with my husband,
making videos of Julien running around.
Everything felt like
what life should feel like.
I felt so connected to my family.
And then we opened the doors,
and everything changed.
I'm missing my entire life
by being here all the time.
Oh, I think this one was for you, Ben.
That's a Ben cared.
I saved his cards too.
[Ben] This was 2013.
[Joanna] From me.
[Iida translating] Ben, how do you feel
now that you're going through…
[breathes deeply] Wow.
[sentimental music playing]
Getting those cards, like,
I remember back then,
we were super spontaneous,
we'd do crazy things,
and then things
have been getting so overwhelming.
There hasn't been time
to actually date each other.
But the thing that we've always had
is that we've always been
best friends first.
And we need to reset.
We don't really sit and look at these
because it's so messy.
We wouldn't really spend the time
digging through it. [chuckles]
-I wasn't expecting this to happen.
-[both laugh]
Wow. I didn't know that you…
that you had these.
[Joanna] It's cool.
I'd save them all.
I think Ben doesn't always know
how much I love him.
I have the best husband ever.
He's amazing,
and I'm so lucky to have that.
It's really easy to get disconnected
in the mix of trying
to make a business work.
[voice breaking]
If I fail… I fail him, like, as well.
[sniffles] it's just really scary.
It just makes me realize how important
it is to change the way that I'm living,
to change where I spend my time.
Like, I'm allowed to have fun.
And I think I'm not.
I always think, like,
"Oh, Ben will always be there,"
but we don't have a time
of how long we're all gonna be here.
[sniffles] And that's just really scary
when I think, like, how real life is
and how, like, a coffee shop
is a beautiful thing
to share with the world,
but, like, what's more amazing is
to share my life with my family.
Thank you so much, Marie.
We'll get this done immediately.
Absolutely. I hope you'll try.
-Thank you.
-Thank you. Thank you so much.
[calm music playing]
-Hey, babe?
-[Ben] Yeah?
Can I stash a few things in Julien's room?
It's, like, full-on.
You did kinda ask for all this. [laughs]
So, I'm not really sure where we'll start
when we start going through this room,
but his bed is filled with costumes.
This isn't really, like,
technically his room at the moment.
This is more a place
where he stores his toys.
I mean, he's been sleeping on the floor
in our bedroom for months.
Definitely affects our marriage
and it's weird.
We're not encouraging him
to enjoy his own room
by allowing it to be like this.
It's not inviting.
I wouldn't wanna sleep in here.
Maybe on the other side of that,
we could get our bedroom back.
I mean, that would be nice.
It would be nice.
I feel like I miss you guys.
I have missed you.
I've missed you a lot. Um…
Like… And that feels weird to say,
'cause I'm, like…
-It's just like you're right here but…
-I'm in and out.
-You're in and out.
-Honestly, I feel terrible.
My parents divorced when I was a kid.
I've lived on my own since 17.
And I didn't have a great support system.
So, my "go, go, go, fire under my butt"
comes from that.
No one ever gave you a shot growing up.
We opened the coffee shop
so you could finally get a shot.
You know, so I've always wanted to,
like, respect that.
For the past decade,
Joanna was working this job,
long, long, long days
in this corporate environment,
and it was just eating her soul.
That kind of played on me a little bit,
because here I am doing what I love
while the person that I love is not.
So, I was walking past this barbershop
that was a couple blocks
from our house for lease.
I said,
"It's time for you to take your shot."
I haven't wanted to say that for so long,
like, that I need help,
because you need help too.
I think it's important for you
to be able to say, like, "Hey, help."
It's hard.
Yeah. It is hard.
We should be enjoying life,
enjoying our time, enjoying our family.
-I agree.
-I want to go on dates and stuff again.
[Joanna laughs]
Honestly, like,
this is part of the healing process.
-We're a team. Yin-yang.
-See that? I gave you a high five.
-I know.
-That never happens. The most awful…
-Every time you give me one…
I give the worst. [laughs]
-[laughing] This is how you high five.
-I don't want to be put on the spot.
This is how you high five.
Ready? Put your hand up.
[Joanna laughs]
[Ben laughs]
-How dare you.
-I adore you.
[Joanna] You ready, buddy?
We're going in your room. Tidying!
[Julien] I can clean a whole bunch.
[Ben] Good job, buddy.
[Joanna] Before, we were working on
ourselves, like,
"Oh, I'm working on myself."
I'm working on myself over here,
you over there, just working on our stuff.
Yeah, but now we can kind of work…
[Ben] Together.
-In the light, not in the shadows.
[Joanna] The elephant
in the room is squashed.
[Ben] And it feels really good.
-[upbeat music playing]
-[Julien and Joanna chuckle]
So, how would you feel
about sleeping in this bed?
I might do it for just playing.
-Just for playing?
-Okay. I think that was a good start.
-[Joanna] Yeah, that was a good start.
[Ben] Let's keep tidying.
We still got some work to do.
[bell chimes]
[Marie in Japanese] Joanna and Ben
struggle with balance in their lives.
Here are some practical steps
my husband Takumi and I take
to manage our household responsibilities.
[Takumi] Mmm.
[Marie in Japanese]
List tasks that need attention.
This encourages healthy communication
between partners.
Decide whether
the tasks are all necessary.
Assign tasks based on strengths.
[speaking in Japanese continues]
[Takumi in Japanese] List done.
By talking about issues, we can visualize
the problems and roles of each person
and strengthen our will
to move forward as a happy family.
-[tranquil music playing]
-[birds chirping]
[Joanna] Ready?
I'm so excited. I can't wait to see it.
Oh my God. Marie is magical.
Marie just, like, randomly bringing
what I need, it's just awesome.
Everything fits. [chuckles]
It kind of felt like… Whoa.
I work really hard.
I deserve a space that works for me.
Hey, babe!
-[Ben] Yeah?
-Come check this out.
Duh, amazing!
[chuckling] You aren't kidding.
What happened in here?
I would have never thought
to do it this way.
I think I get stuck a lot
like, bouncing thoughts back and forth,
like, from my ADHD
that they keep me, like,
thinking about small stuff a lot.
And just seeing this kind of opened up,
like, how small sometimes I think.
I screw myself up.
And this desk is big.
I don't always see the big picture.
That needs to change for me.
So, it's kind of like a representation of
what has to change in my life
so that I can have the things I want.
-It's beautiful.
-It really is.
-If you bring some things in at a time…
-[Ben] All right.
-I can start putting it in categories.
All right. I'm gonna guess jackets
are gonna end up where they were.
[Ben] Jackets go with jackets.
Our relationship has had ten years
of ups and downs,
so I'm happy we're kind of
coming to a place now
where we've done enough work,
we can be like, "Okay. We can get there."
[Joanna] It's just like a painting.
And everything's going
in the right places.
So, fancy dresses get worn not so often
unless someone takes me on a date.
Hey! Maybe I'll put them in the front.
-Put 'em there. You can count on that.
-This is awesome.
-All right. I'll see you soon.
-I'll keep going. Love you.
-See you in a bit.
-I love you.
[Joanna] I got this.
-[Ben] I'm gonna bring more stuff.
-Thank you, babe.
-All righty.
-I'm almost done.
There you go. The top…
That looks good.
-[Marie in Japanese] I'm excited.
-Me too.
[upbeat music playing]
-Hi, Marie. How are you?
-Hello. How are you?
Welcome back.
-Hello. How are you?
-Good. How are you?
I am so excited
to show you the different spaces.
I've been working really hard,
and I feel like it's ready.
-[speaking Japanese]
-[Iida] I'd love to see it. Can't wait.
[Ben] Wait till you see Julien's room.
Come on! Let's show your room.
Let's show it off.
-[Marie speaking Japanese]
-[Iida] Oh my gosh. This is amazing.
-[Ben] Massive difference, right?
-[Joanna] You can see!
Before, there was no space
for actually walking back and forth.
[Iida] Beautiful.
-[Ben] And?
-[Julien] I do a joy dance!
-[Joanna] Happy dance!
-[cheering, laughing]
Wild joy it is.
Let's go take a look at the office.
-Wow! [speaking Japanese]
-[Iida] This is beautiful.
-[speaking Japanese]
-[Iida] Incredible.
So much different.
That's how we use the desk like that.
[Joanna] I have everything I need,
plus a really long workspace to work on.
-[Iida] Incredible.
-[Marie speaking Japanese]
[Iida] Every piece sparks joy for you?
-[Joanna] Every piece.
-[Marie speaking Japanese]
[Iida] Very nice. Everything stands
upright and filed vertically
so you can see immediately
where everything is.
[Joanna] Everything has a home.
[Marie speaking Japanese]
[Iida] Family photos
just really adds to the joy.
[Joanna] Especially the one
with the mustache.
[Iida] That's so cute. I love it.
-[Marie] Aww.
[Iida] All the documents are filed
according to category?
They are.
I ended up putting my sentimental items
up top in a box
so that I can open them when I choose to,
but they're not down below
with the things that I would do every day.
[speaking Japanese]
[Iida] Right. The sentimental box
used to be on the floor,
and now it's high up there
and looks very well-respected.
[Joanna] It is respected. It has a space.
-[Marie speaking Japanese]
-[Iida] We covered folding clothes.
-I'd love to see how you did.
-[Joanna] For sure.
-[Marie speaking Japanese]
-[Iida] It looks amazing.
-[Marie speaking Japanese]
-[Iida] Closets.
[Joanna] They were in a big pile before,
and I was just digging.
-[Iida translating] Leveled up, I'd say.
-[Joanna] Yes! Leveled up.
With Marie's help, I learned
to create tactics of organization,
and this office is actually going
to remind me that I'm at work,
so that when I'm outside of this office,
that'll feel like my home.
I think I'll be able to separate
the two of them easier.
-[Marie speaking Japanese]
-[Iida] This room has really transformed.
[exhales, speaks in Japanese]
[Iida] I love savoring the atmosphere
of the room after it's been tidied.
-And I can't wait to see The Palm.
-[Joanna] Let's do it!
I can't wait to show you
what we did inside.
There it is!
-[Marie speaking Japanese]
-[Iida] Wow. It's transformed.
[speaking Japanese]
[Iida] Did you change the light?
It seems so much brighter.
[Joanna] No. It feels so much more open,
but it's interesting
'cause there's more stuff out.
[Iida] You're right.
Oh, and the shelves back here.
There are more, right?
[Joanna] Yes. We never really had
enough storage for all of our coffee
so we found we were tucking it
and hiding it in the back.
-[Marie speaking Japanese]
-[Iida] This is so good, Joanna.
[Joanna] I am so excited.
[Iida] Because they used natural fiber,
it just makes it look so much better.
[Joanna] Yes. They're so beautiful,
and add such a beautiful flair
to something
that doesn't normally feel pretty.
[Iida translating] Seems like everything
has a designated spot.
[Joanna] Yes.
-[Marie speaking Japanese]
-[Iida] Did you do this all by yourself?
No. I definitely had some help
from the staff.
They were amazing,
and they really helped me
by letting me know
what was important to them.
And that's really important to me.
[Iida] It must have been
an amazing experience for your staff too.
-[Marie] Aww.
[Joanna] This whole process has
really helped me find everything I need
and see everything at one glance.
There's an energy around it that's shifted
and is safe and calm for me to be in.
I cannot wait for the staff
to get in here and start working.
[Iida translating] For your shop to bring
so much joy and happiness, I am so happy.
I feel like you've turned me back into
the fearless female leader.
I can focus on what matters. I'm so happy.
I think going into this process,
I didn't realize
your space reflects who you are.
I could see some of the limitations
that I set on myself expressed outwardly.
I'm closing the chapter of the things
that weren't working for me,
and opening a new chapter,
a new way of living, a new journey.
It looks manageable.
It looks clear,
and comfortable, and calming.
I feel silly. All the words I have are
"thank you, thank you, thank you,"
but I really mean it, Marie.
-I, like…
Thank you so much.
You have really changed, like,
what my future looks like. It's cool.
-You're so freakin' cool.
-[speaking Japanese]
[Iida] This is a result
of your hard work, Joanna, so own it.
-This is you.
-Thank you.
Come back for a matcha, please.
-[Iida] Absolutely. I'd love to.
[Marie in Japanese]
Now that The Palm is tidy,
she herself will continue to spark joy.
And I can't wait to see
what kind of positive change
she will continue to make.
[happy music playing]
[Joanna] Julien.
-[Ben] Hey, bud.
-Buddy, it's so cool up here.
-There you go.
-All right. Good job, bud.
See you in the morning. Okay?
-Good night.
-Good night.
[Julien] Good night.
[exhales] We haven't actually had
any alone time in a long time.
-It's full-on.
-I know.
I personally wanna make more of an effort
to start spending time together, you know.
[Joanna] I think that's what
this whole journey was really about.
Setting us up so we can sit on the sofa…
[chuckles] …and be.
I thought it was just gonna be tidying
some things up.
I didn't think it was gonna be
so emotionally impactful.
We've been getting more vulnerable
and communicating more openly.
Even though it's scary,
way more fulfilling.
My eyes have been really opened
after doing this,
and I'm really, really glad.
It did stuff in here,
rather than just out there.
-Do you wanna go on a date with me?
Claiming space for things
in my life and our life.
It really sort of prioritized how we live.
But also I understand now
the joy is in the things,
in the experiences, and in us too.
[Ben] Yeah.
-I love you.
-I love you.
[Joanna] Hm.
[upbeat music playing]
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