State of Georgia (2011) s01e05 Episode Script

Know When to Fold 'Em

Oh my goodness, I really love this sweater.
Like belt it over some leggings or skinny jeans, and I promise you, if you put this on for a date, someone else will be peeling it off.
It's just a sweater.
It's-- it's warmish, but not as warm as a coat.
You know who has great coats? The department store down the street.
Get over there.
Hey, Jo, who wore it better-- crash test dummy or me? Well, it works on both of you, but it's her job to stand around in a scarf doing nothing.
I'm not doing nothing, Paul.
This is work.
Let me explain.
Your customers come in, they see me looking absolutely amazing and they say, "wow, if that fine and adorable young lady can put on this scarf, I can put it on too.
" And then I come in and close the deal.
That's right, because she's the one who knows how to work the cash register.
Fine, I just need a little more focus, especially with corporate coming for their annual inspection next week.
And if I have to come over there myself, I swear I'm gonna take it off with a socket wrench.
Calm it down, Paul.
Calm it down.
Not you, not you.
A mannequin issue in activewear.
I'll be right there, Betty.
Now do either of you two wanna help out in the cave? The cave-- that's with the wallets and the belts, right? - Mm-hmm.
- Oh no, not me.
I-- I can't tolerate the smell of animal hide.
I was abandoned at the petting zoo on a third grade field trip.
Here we go.
I survived on pellets and hay.
- It was 20 minutes.
- Okay, fine fine.
I will find someone else for the cave, but please, you two, please, focus.
Mm, poor Paul.
Can you imagine your whole life being about this store? Ugh, shoot me.
Hey.
Cave? Over there.
Did Paul send for you? Yeah.
Doug.
Hi, Doug.
- Are-- are you checking him out? - No no.
I'm just noticing that his, um-- his shoulders are technically broader than they need to be.
You totally dig him.
No no, I'm just-- I'm feeling fluttery and I'm queasy, like when I had to drink the goat milk to surv-- It was 20 minutes! I can't believe I did not get that audition Is something I am not saying today! That's great! What is it for? Well, it's for All-city Mattress, New York's ninth largest overnight mattress wholesaler.
How many overnight mattress wholesalers are there in New York? I mean yay! I know it doesn't sound like much, but it'll be the first professional job I'll be able to put on my acting reel.
Hey, do we have any vacation days? Yes, but you used all seven on your first week.
That was a good week.
Well, my audition is in the middle of our shift, so you're gonna have to cover for me with Paul.
No problem.
This is so annoying.
I can hack into the FBI, but I can't get into the store's personnel files.
Who are you, Doug? I knew you were crushing on that guy.
I am a grad student in physics and he speaks in grunts.
There must be a reason why I'm feeling this way.
Okay, what else do we know about him? His name is Doug.
He has a beard.
Okay, do not Google "bearded Doug.
" Whoo, I did not know that was a thing.
Enough with all the shouting.
Aw, we're just talking, Aunt Honey.
Oh not you, dear, the voices in my head.
One wants sherry and one wants gin.
If they'd just be quiet, I'd make them both happy.
Aunt Honey, have you ever been attracted to a man just because of his body? - Oh no, Georgia, we don't need to-- - Bruce jenner.
- My bad.
- Mm.
You girls just know him as the weird old lady in the Kardashian house, but oh, back in the day he was a gold medalist in the decathlon And other things.
Baking! Oh, you girls are filthy.
Well, Jo likes a guy at work and she's overthinking it.
Well, some men are worth turning your brain off for.
I did not have a single thought the entire Montreal Olympics.
Hmm.
Oops.
I'll meet your guy tomorrow.
I have to pick up my fur coat from storage.
Aunt Honey, no.
You still have that thing? I'd rather walk down Fifth Avenue naked than wear fur.
Well, can't a lady do both? Where is Georgia? We have discussed you talking to guests without her around.
She is around, of course, because it's her shift.
So why wouldn't she be around? So where is she? - Uh, she's having some-- - What? - I'm thinking.
- No no, not you.
I'll be right there, Chris.
Listen, I've got a call from corporate, but I expect Georgia here when I get back.
And can we please light that candle, hmm? Ambience, ambience.
Anybody have a light? - Thanks.
- Doug.
- Jo.
- Hi.
Mm, unidentified feelings.
What? - I mean vanilla bean.
- Guess what.
I am reason number three you should buy a mattress overnight! Wait wait wait.
Bedbugs? We just-- we just can't get rid of 'em! Congratulations! When do you shoot? Tonight.
It's perfect.
I can just leave after work.
Hey, listen up, listen up.
We are officially at Defcon 5.
Or is it 1? Which way do the numbers go? - I think up is worse.
- But counting down does sound scarier.
- Unless it's New Year's Eve.
- Oh, and then it's fun.
- It's like 10, nine, eight, seven-- - Enough! Now listen, corporate is coming here tomorrow, which means everything must be clean, - folded and organized tonight after work.
- No! So cancel your plans, because we're gonna be here late.
- No no no no.
- Gotcha.
Thank goodness, because-- No no no.
I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to Stacy in luggage.
Yeah, your yogurt is behind the soda.
Now we're even.
We are working super-late tonight.
+ I cannot stay late tonight.
This mattress commercial is my springboard to success.
I'm talking television and movies and oh, skincare infomercials.
That is a lot to put on one mattress.
Paul, Paul, quick question.
Sorry, I'm a little stressed right now.
I'm trying not to binge eat.
Okay, well, what can I help you with that will make this go smooth and actually really fast? Well, no one's getting out of here until their section is perfect.
- Okay okay, got it.
- What what? There's a guy in lingerie? Who cares? Oh, he's in lingerie.
Sliding down the escalator? Oh God, I see him.
Oh, screw it.
Okay, well, I got us a ticket out of here.
So all we have to do is keep our section superclean, tidy, neat and folded until closing.
That's impossible.
People trash this place all day long.
Nuh-uh, not today.
Oh, excuse me, sir.
Mm-mm mm-mm.
- Girls' sweaters.
Get back.
- It's a gift.
Oh, a sweater as a gift? Really, Mr.
big shot? I'ma need you to go on up to jewelry before you embarrass yourself.
I got it.
So basically you want us to drive people out of our section all day.
Okay, what can I do to help? Oh, Jo, you can just-- just be yourself.
I wasn't saying you're fat.
I was just saying that the pants wouldn't-- I am in the zone.
Aunt Honey, what is this? None of these fit.
Well, what do you want me to do about it? You're supposed to hang them up or something.
Oh no no, not today.
See, today is customers-put-them-back- themselves-and-go-home day.
- What? - No questions.
Put them back and go home.
I'm sorry, what did you just say to our guest? Oh oh.
No, this is not a guest.
- That is my auntie.
- No introduction necessary.
I recognize all our platinum preferred guests.
Well, you look familiar to me too, which is strange, because I rarely make eye contact with store folk.
Now what can we do for you today? Well, it would really be great if I didn't have to hang up those.
And I need to get my fur coat out of storage.
Of course.
Why don't you follow me? You will get those, won't you, sugar? I'm just gonna let security hang those up, sugar.
You know I have some quarters, right? This-- this thing stole my dollar, Jo.
It owes me.
Eh eh, my name is Georgia.
It stole my dollar, I want it back, uh or I'm gonna holla.
- Okay, ready to go? - My name is Jo.
- I don't know.
- Oh, now-- Oh hi.
We were-- we're just-- - Stuck? - It ate her dollar.
- Move.
- Okay.
Hey! - There.
Thanks, Doug.
- Thanks, Doug! - Oh my goodness.
Jo, um, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I think Doug is a caveman.
What? No, I mean just think about it, right? He works in the cave.
He has long hair.
- He grunts a lot.
- He did bring me fire.
But no, he's not a caveman.
That's crazy.
That's-- that's absolutely crazy.
- Hey, Doug.
- Hi.
Meat? Oh, is this from the kebab cart outside? I was never sure about that guy because he has that one cloudy eye, but okay.
What exactly is a kebab? Like what part of what animal? Hmm.
Doug, get back to the cave.
Let's go.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Oh my God, Doug is a caveman.
Der is a der der.
That's why I'm attracted to him.
It's primal.
It's biological hard-wiring.
It's sweet sciency science.
Dang, so you and Bamm-Bamm gonna smash smash? All right, people, listen up.
Now our work day is now done, which means that the work night is now beginning.
So come find me and I will give you your assignment.
Paul, Paul, hi.
I think it's gonna get a little hectic in here, so why don't you just check me off as done? Well, your section is immaculate.
In fact I want everything to look like this Ho ho ho.
Hey hey, take a note.
After we've moved everything around.
What what? What was that? We're gonna be rearranging the entire floor.
When corporate comes, I need to wow them.
So we're gonna be moving this section around all night until I feel wowed.
And I have not felt wowed since I saw "Sex & the City 2.
" Oh, Doug, perfect.
Yeah, just drag her off to the cave.
- Hey.
- Hi.
I can stay late, all night if I have to.
Ahem yes, Paul, but not me.
I have something I gotta do.
I told everyone to cancel their plans.
Yes, but I can't cancel this.
It's-- it's really important.
It's for the work that I want to do.
I'm sorry, but I need everyone here.
But I need this commercial.
So I'm gonna go.
If you leave, don't bother coming back.
You mean tomorrow? When I come in for work? With jelly doughnuts? I mean ever.
If you leave, you are fired.
Okay, Paul, I understand that you're all about this store.
And you probably wanna run it someday, right? It's probably your dream.
And if it is, I get it.
I'm cool with that.
But what I don't think that you get is that I've got bigger dreams.
And so I'm gonna go.
Jo, let's go.
- Georgia - Georgia what? We need to leave.
Well, you need to leave because you have a thing, but it's not my thing.
Well, then what's your thing? It is Doug? Is Doug your thing? No, it's-- it's not just Doug.
- This is my job.
- But I'm your friend.
My friend wouldn't ask me to leave my job.
Okay.
That's fine.
No worries.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna leave.
Dang.
+ Makeup, hot rollers and six pair of heels? You going camping? No, this is for my commercial.
See, they're tight on their budget and so I decided to bring my own hair, makeup and lighting.
Where's Jo? Well, that jerky manager of ours made everyone stay late.
- Aren't you everyone? - I had to quit.
You quit, didn't give notice and you left your best friend? I feel a lecture coming on, so I just wanna say it's gonna be very difficult to hear over the screams of a dozen dead minks.
A dozen? Sweetheart, you have no idea how small minks are.
It's funny.
When my first husband, Mr.
Dupree, bought this for me-- oh, I dreamed of having a fur coat for so long.
I thought if I put it on, it would make me somebody.
But after talking to you girls, I'm not sure I want to be that kind of somebody anymore.
Hmm, might be time for a new dreamcoat.
Oh my goodness! I just remembered how I know that store manager of yours.
- He sold you a coat? - No.
"Joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat" years ago on Broadway.
- Oh, so he checked your coat.
- No.
He wore the coat.
He was Joseph and he was damn good too.
You mean Paul was an actor? Then why is he working at the store? You know, Georgia, any dream you have-- someone else has had before.
That's just how it is.
It doesn't mean you shouldn't chase your dreams, but you'd better like who you are when you catch them, hmm? Ah! Well, will you look at this-- $100.
I'm gonna go play my numbers.
Oh, that looks great, Jeanette.
But you know what, honey? Put the pink ones up on top.
Pink makes the ladies crazy.
Yeah.
Well, Georgia.
Do you mind if I start with the scarves? I thought you had a commercial to shoot.
Well, I told them I had to work, so they found someone to replace me.
Oh, honey, they always do.
Is that what happened to you in "Joseph"? Well, a lot of things happened to me, but I wouldn't change any of them because I think I ended up exactly where I am supposed to be.
And that's good.
But I don't think this is where you're supposed to be.
Really? Come on, you're the one who's always saying you're gonna be a star.
Yeah, you know, I say that, but I don't know if I always believe it.
Well, I would bet on it.
- You would? - Sure.
- You're a bigger drama queen than I am.
- Aw, thank you.
But can I give you a little advice, - just actor to actor? - Yes, please.
No matter how hungry and desperate you are, if sir Andrew Lloyd Webber wants the last piece of shrimp toast, you let him have it.
Thank you for that little piece of info.
Oh, and that reminds me, I got you a box of moonpies.
I put it in the back because I know how stressful this job is for you.
Paul? Hey.
Sorry.
Why are you apologizing? Rock, paper, scissors? - I get to apologize.
- I am so sorry.
Georgia, respect the rock, paper, scissor.
I know, but listen.
I am really sorry that I dragged you into my fight.
Georgia, you're my best friend.
Your fights-- they're my fights.
I was going to apologize for not coming with you, because 99% of the time I will follow you anywhere.
But sometimes I just need to chase my own thing, and tonight was one of them.
It's okay.
Oh, there's your thing.
How's the chase? - Oh no, I didn't-- - Ah ah.
Jo, stop it.
You'd better be glad I came back.
Now, Pebbles, go get Bamm-Bamm.
- Hi, Doug.
- Hi.
Would you like to go out sometime with me? - Sure.
So what do you do when you're not here? - I make furniture.
- Of course you do.
Like big, rough wooden furniture.
You probably chop down the trees yourself.
No no, my pieces are smaller.
Oh, like kids' furniture.
Let me just show you.
Oh wow.
Doll furniture.
You know, you sound like my mom.
"What are you doing in the basement all day, Dougie?" "Ugh, none of your business, Francis!" I will tell you all about it when we go out.
- How's Friday? - Great.
- Great.
- Let's leave from work, okay? - Okay.
- Okay.
Can we quit Thursday? How about Wednesday, sweetie? How about Wednesday? + Oh, man! I though we would never get out of there.
Could have been home an hour ago, but someone had to sing show tunes and eat moonpies with Paul.
I do enjoy a song and a snack cake.
My, you girls are home late.
And you're up late.
Well, an old friend of mine is visiting, bought me a new dreamcoat.
Huh? Huh? Seven events down, three to go.