Stella (2012) s04e08 Episode Script

Series 4, Episode 8

Paula! Hiya, Stell.
Oh! An airship.
My face on one side, "#voteauntybrenda" on the other.
The rest next week.
The rest? Can I get you a drink? Go on, then.
And then she smiles And my heart starts beating I go weak inside Na na na na na na Na na na Top of the morning to you.
All right.
What? Now then.
I know exactly what you lot are thinking, with the election tomorrow, our work here is done.
You're thinking, there's only two people left to vote for.
Aunty Brenda, and Dafydd Sanchez, and he is, quite literally, a joke candidate.
Que? And you're probably right.
But now is not the time for complacent-ness.
I want us marching into our day of destiny tomorrow, giving it 110%.
Whether you're responsible for strategy.
Image consultancy.
Or miscellaneous.
I do love that word.
We're all in this together.
Things can only get better.
Nice to see you, to see you Nice! Now, will someone please get me a skinny latte? But I was worried about you, Pauls, I didn't know where you were.
I left a message.
It weren't a message.
It was more of a drunken monologue.
You said "sorry" about 50 times before going on to saying how confusing life was.
Then you start talking about global warming? And then you sang a song from The Lion King.
I'm really sorry.
Don't worry, you've got a crackin' voice.
Oh, why didn't you tell me before? I mean, I know you were having problems, but divorce? I was embarrassed, I suppose.
And I thought you might shout at me.
We did try and make it work, Stell.
We even went to a therapist.
But his Spanish accent was so strong, we couldn't understand what he was saying.
So what are you going to do now, then? Honestly? I haven't got a clue.
What song from The Lion King? Hakuna matata.
Nice.
We We had a deal.
We shook hands.
You said it was the perfect run-around for your missus.
I've done the paperwork and everything.
Yeah, well, not as sorry as I am.
It's not that confusing.
How comes I'm confused then? No offence, Karl, but you got confused when they changed the wallpaper in the legion.
Right.
Let's ask Luke.
Ah, please don't.
Our new baby is going to be Emma's half-brother.
Which means he's also going to be an uncle to Abhra.
Right.
See.
He's not confused.
How can a baby be an uncle? An uncle would have a beard and a pipe.
He should give you five-pound handshakes and ruffle your hair.
Baby as an uncle It's not natural.
A baby is the most natural thing in the world.
We do live in a world beset by problems but whether them problems are caused by the Internet, chewing gum or the French.
And, personally, I think it's all three.
I do still have a dream Of walking hand-in-hand with the people of Pontyberry, talking, and listening.
Aunty Brenda Not now, Marj.
- She was just going to ask about - This is not a conversation.
I think she should be heard.
What were you going to say, love? This stage is for candidates only.
I am a candidate - as of last week.
- What? I saw how this election was going and I didn't like it.
Only two candidates! Hello.
Dafydd Sanchez.
For a town as great as Pontyberry, it's not right.
Now, what were you going to say? Well, I've always thought that this town needs a donkey sanctuary.
Ridiculous! I'll see what I can do.
I'm making no promises.
But if Pontyberry folk put their minds to it, anything is possible.
You know, you can't say anything.
I mean, you've got budgets to stick to.
You're not from around here, are you mate? - Well, no - You don't know this town like I do.
These are great people.
That's why I want to give something back.
Invest my time and money back into Pontyberry.
You know you can trust me.
Iwan Jenkins! A safe bet! You can't just come up here and steal my hustings! It's called democracy, love.
Now, who wants a free pen? How could you not know Iwan Jenkins was standing? You were supposed to be head of strategy! - Calm down - You were fresh out of hospital, remember? And the stress of dealing with you idiots will send me back in.
Will you be having lunch? - The soup of the day is monkfish.
- Oh.
Well, say what you like about you Iwan, though, he's got charisma.
Couldn't take your eyes off him.
I knew this outfit was a mistake.
Primary colours radiate power, that's scientific fact.
I said we should go with bright pastels.
You talked me into it.
You need to raise your game, good guy.
Don't be blaming me! Qualified image consultant, indeed! It's not even a proper job.
Image consultants are the backbone of this country.
Aunty Brenda, can I offer a word of advice? Ooh, advice, he says.
You think I need advice from a philandering ne'er-do-well who can't hold down a job? Suit yourself.
- Having lunch, Michael? - Uh, no.
Sorry.
Monkfish soup.
It was a mistake.
Mmm Mmm Fancy a drink? I'm revising.
Yeah, sorry.
When you're done, eh? Maybe I should re-train as a nurse.
Or a dentist.
What's the one with the feet? - Paula - Reflexologist! That's it.
I've literally got nothing to do.
Look, I promise we'll have a chat and a drink later, but for now, I've really got to get on with this, okay? Mum, I need money.
- Hello to you, too.
- Your mother is revising.
I need 90 quid.
In fact, better make it 100.
Oh, there was loads in here the other day.
Where's it all gone? - Don't look at me.
- I've cashed it in.
I'm giving it to Luke.
But I need it for my date with Lily.
Luke needs it more than you do.
Now, if you don't mind.
I really need to get on.
Shh! Bloody hell, Mum.
Your mother is trying to work by you, good boy, and you are interrupting.
Actually, you both are.
- This is so unfair.
- I'll tell you what's unfair.
She always treats me like a kid.
You coming in here while your mum's trying to work I'm old enough to drive now, so I think I'm old enough to loan money.
While your mother is trying to work! What are you doing here? What are you doing here? You don't live here! Argh! Ah, get lost.
You look like a very patient kerb crawler.
I'm revising.
A bit lively indoors.
How's your hand? Hmm, sore, but I'll survive.
There's no such word as, "I can't get Try harder! She's going to lose that election.
Seriously? Wasn't it her and Dafydd Sanchez? There's some new guy standing.
Iwan Jenkins.
- What, the bookie? - Seems very slick.
Knows how to talk to people.
Ah, suit yourself, you miserable Call yourself a neighbour? I actually tried giving her some advice earlier on.
How did that go? Oh, look, I know she can be a pain in the bum.
But could you try and speak to her again? You're good at arguing.
You're a lawyer.
- She's good at arguing.
- Yeah, but you're good at arguing and making sense.
I'd really appreciate it.
Please? Aunty Brenda says she'll listen to what you've got to say, and she's promised to keep an open mind.
Haven't you? Right.
I'll leave you to it.
Wait Where are you going? I've got a chapter on the pancreas to read.
We can swap if you like.
- So long.
- Yeah.
Um, I'm about to say some things that may seem harsh, but I promise it's meant as constructive criticism.
Don't you worry about me.
I've got what-you-call shoulders and a chin of steel.
I welcome all form of feedback.
Okay.
Um, well, sometimes - You can come across a little - Ah! The shame of it.
You sit there like Lord of the Dance, telling me how to behave, and you can't keep your trousers on when a barmaid yells, "Last orders"? See, I knew this was a mistake.
That said I promised our Stella I'd hear you out, and I'm not one to let her down.
Unlike you.
So, here, I'm listening.
So, how've you been? Fine, thank you.
A small bout of reflux esophagitis, but nothing that requires intervention.
About our thing, I had a real laugh but I'm not looking for anything serious.
So if you're happy for that thing to stay a thing, not become a thing, then, uh, maybe we can do it again? As long as it doesn't become a thing.
I just want a bit of fun.
Take my mind off the heavy stuff.
Paula, you are an amazing woman, and I find you very sexually alluring, but But? I'm an expert when it comes to the gallbladder and the duodenum.
I'm very much not an expert in romantic liaisons.
Well, it's not a liaison.
It was a shag.
I would like to thank you for last night.
It truly was wonderful.
A once-in-a-lifetime experience.
All right then, fair do's.
You don't fancy going for a drink, do you? Or a film, maybe? I'm sorry, I have to get on.
Thanks again for coming in.
What in the name of Bryn Terfel are we doing in here? Look around.
What can you see? A low-rent cafe with no clear business model.
You can see people.
And the fact is, you're not good with them.
Aunty Brenda, can I tempt you Not now, Alan Williams.
If you want to win this election, you need to work on your people skills.
So I want you to sit down, have a chat with someone, and listen to what they have to say.
Piece of cake.
- Sponge or walnut? - I said not now! Going well so far.
Hello, Celia.
Hello.
How are you? I am fine and yourself? Yeah, I'm good, thanks.
Just planning some ideas for the wedding.
I'm very interested to hear that.
We were thinking of a fancy-dress theme.
People can come dressed as anything beginning with an A or a C, you know? For Alan or Celia.
I mean, it's just for fun, really 'cause it's the second wedding for both of us.
Well, you know what they say about second weddings, they do always end in divorce.
And let's face it, Alan Williams have always held a candle for our Stella.
Lovely chat.
Have a rosette.
What was that? The truth can be a wonderful gift.
How do you expect people to vote for you if you speak to them like that? People in this town think I'm a local treasure.
Really? Because at the moment you're coming across as unkind, un-electable, and quite frankly, unlikable.
Why for are you taking photos of your trainers? Is this some kind of FaceTube thing? I'm selling them on eBay.
To pay for your date? Oh, love.
Don't do the head-tilt thing, it's patronising.
Listen, if I had more money, you know I'd give it to you.
It's just Luke's a bit strapped at the moment.
New house, all that furniture.
- You do understand, don't you? - Yeah.
Anyway, you don't need money to be romantic.
When I was your age Oh, people had black and white telly back then, they weren't as fussy.
Do you know where your dad took me for our first date? A canal.
See? They weren't fussy.
No, it was dead romantic.
He made a picnic with all my favourite foods.
Cheese and pickle sandwiches with the lumps taken out of the pickle.
All I'm saying is, no matter where you take Lily or how much you spend, just make her feel special.
Is that what girls all like, then? Yup, that and men with shoes.
So don't sell 'em, eh? - Cwtch? - Oh, Mum, no! Oh, come on, there's no one here.
Go on then, just one.
Ha ha ha! All right, Mum.
Get off.
Get off.
Get off! Vote Aunty Brenda.
Vote Aunty Brenda.
Vote Common Sense party.
Vote Aunty Brenda.
Sorry, but I'm voting for that Iwan Jenkins.
Two free pens and a cocking balloon.
I didn't mean to upset you.
No, you were right.
We've been here half an hour and nobody wants any of these.
I'll be glad when this is all over.
I was always very quiet as a girl.
I never said boo to a gooseberry.
And I was never the pretty one, or the clever one, or the popular one.
I was just Chubby little Brenda at the back.
And then one day, I thought, "To hell with it".
I started talking over them.
Shouting to get heard.
Been doing it so long now, it's second nature.
It's probably why I'm so unlikable.
I only said that because I was annoyed.
Stella loves you.
And Luke and Ben.
That's three votes, then.
You can win, you just need to um You know when people say, "Just be yourself"? - Yes.
- Well, don't be.
Don't get me wrong, you're a force of nature, and people around here, they know that.
But if you want to get elected, you need to rein in that part of you that wants to talk over the kids from school.
You need to listen and above all, you need to - stop - Stop interrupting.
Right.
Enough of that.
- Back to work.
- You can take a moment, if you want.
Why? It's no good just standing around.
Hey, you two.
Look sharp.
There's no room on team Aunty Brenda for slackers.
We've got an election to win.
And then you've got Uncle Ben's rice.
But who's Uncle Ben? He's not a baby.
He's an old fellow with white hair.
Uh, Karl.
Uh, Nadine rang earlier and asked you to call her back.
Oh, right you are.
Uh, this lady's looking for a What was it again, love? A car.
Well, you've come to the right place.
What are you doing here? You haven't been answering your phone.
I'm just checking you're still alive.
Hazel said you were, what was the word? Endearing.
She wants to book you again.
Escort her to an art gallery, apparently.
Not interested.
She'll pay double.
No, I'm done with all that.
Do you not like money or something? Uh, I got a job.
So I see.
Is it always this busy? She don't remember ringing.
Pregnancy do do funny things to do the brain.
I'll leave it for now.
But give me a call if anything else comes in.
I'd been earning good money.
I got a wad of twenties like that.
And now they say I got to pay tax and national thingy.
Well, of course you got to pay tax.
How do you expect the rest of us to foot the bill, while you spend your ill-gotten gains on speedboats and chairs made of heroin? That said, a young entrepreneur like yourself, shouldn't be penalised for success.
I will look at your situation, should I be lucky enough to win the seat.
I don't know what you said to her but it's really done the trick.
And, of course, she's got the big debate tomorrow.
In front of the whole town.
You should be proud of yourself, son.
You've tamed the wild beast.
Vote Iwan Jenkins.
A safe bet.
Vote Iwan Jenkins.
Here you go.
Have a free pen.
Take that.
It all looks very convincing but when it comes to business, he knows bugger-all.
What do you mean? Well, you know me, not wanting to boast, but I sold him a bit of land.
Made an absolute packet.
Really? When? Cheers.
I'm sure I can count on your vote.
Is this for real? I'm giving something back to my community.
Making a difference, like.
What, you? Why not me? Just forget it, all right.
I'll forget it when you've paid me back.
You'll get your money.
Oh, I know that.
Thanks again for your support.
Friend of yours? No, not really.
He seemed to know you.
I almost sold him a car once.
Any idea how he's allowed to stand so late in the day? No.
Must have friends on the council.
Yeah, like I said.
I don't really know him.
- I might do a little bit of digging.
- Michael.
Like I said, I don't know him, but I know people who do.
And he's not somebody you want to piss off, okay? Your Aunty Brenda needs all the votes she can get tonight.
Good morning.
Anyway, I may have found some important information that will help her out enormously but I need to get to the record office.
And? And I don't have a car.
Oh, don't look at me.
I'm revising.
And in my jim-jams.
It could be fun, we could pretend to be detectives.
What, like Dempsey and Makepeace? Not terribly current, but, yeah, that sort of thing.
Okay.
Give me ten minutes.
Carley, uh, it's Luke Morgan.
Sorry to ring early.
Look, about this art gallery thing, I Changed my mind.
Yeah, well, I need the money, don't I? So, whereto have I got to be? So, let me get my head around this.
Iwan Jenkins bought some land from Dai Davies.
Yes, claiming he wanted to build an access road to his mother's house but there's no house there, I checked on the land registry.
Well, why would he lie? Well, that's what we're going to find out.
Hopefully, in time for the election.
Uh, which one was which, by the way out of Dempsey and Makepeace? No idea.
All I know is that Starsky had the dark hair and Hutch was David Soul.
I will cause a distraction.
I've seen loads of fainting in the hospital.
It's dead easy to fake.
Then, once they're tending to me, you sneak in and take a look at the files.
- We could do that.
- Great.
Or we could just ask.
Excuse me, could you point us in the direction of the planning files, please.
- Up on the first floor.
- Thank you very much.
The files are open to the public.
Can I faint anyway? Just for a laugh.
Come on.
Ah There's nothing like the smell of death to bring all the good times flooding back.
Remember when Daddy dropped Hilda Campbell's urn? The ashes went AWOL.
So, you smoked 20 fags dead quick, and we topped her up.
Mmm Happy days.
Well, you can't say I didn't try.
I've got no house, no job, no husband, and no idea what to do with myself.
Even Dr Honey doesn't want a return match.
I'm not desperate.
I went to the library and got these.
Rediscover The You.
The Sky Is The Limit.
Fail Is A Four Letter That's by Dr Raj off Richard And Judy!.
- You can have it if you want.
- Oh.
I may not have the answers to life, the universe, and everything, but I know one thing that will cheer you up.
Does it involve getting completely twatted? Hmm Even better than that.
Come on.
Candidates get two minutes each to outline their policies.
And then it will be a more standard back and forth.
I see.
- Candidates should speak one at a time.
- Of course.
- Absolutely.
Yes.
- And not talk over one another.
Oh, no.
No.
No.
No.
Absolutely.
Good luck with that.
Actually, Iwan Jenkins, I'm looking forward to a reasoned, sensible debate.
So am I.
It's hard to have a sensible debate when one of us is in fancy dress.
It's no fancy dress! This is ceremonial costume! I was talking about her.
Oh, God.
You chumped-up little What a funny comment.
You really are a delightful fellow.
You made a cake? Uh, yeah, me and Little Al did.
As long as there are no nuts in it.
I've got a nut allergy.
Oh That's really sweet, though.
Thanks.
Oh, God.
Sorry, I've got Oh.
Has your dog been on this blanket? No.
I mean, I hope not.
It's just I'm allergic to dog hair.
Oh, bloody hell, Banjo.
Ben, it's okay.
Just relax.
I made a playlist.
I asked Katie all your favourite songs.
Stalker.
I just wanted it to be special.
It's lovely, Ben.
Seriously.
In fact, this is the best first date I've been on.
- Oh! - Oh, God.
I'm so sorry.
Is it bleeding? What's it supposed to be? That's for you to interpret.
There's no right or wrong opinion.
Just look at it and say what you think.
Well, I think it's Rubbish.
I know this really isn't your thing, but look at it like this, I need the company and you need the money.
See.
What's wrong with painting a picture of a horse, or a field, or a bowl of fruit or something? All in one picture? It should be nice to look at, though, shouldn't it? Otherwise, you might as well call a skip filled with bricks a work of art.
Oh, you've seen that exhibition, then? Talking of nice to look at, I paint, you know? Still life.
There you go.
- Bowls of fruit and that.
- Mmm-hmm.
And also people.
Life drawing.
Nude modelling.
Capturing the essence of the naked form.
Really? You'd make a good subject, actually.
Are you winding me up? Thanks.
Have you found anything? My eyes are being bastards.
Hmm.
Is that an actual medical term? This is interesting.
Look.
When you say "interesting" It's an application for planning permission on the land that Iwan owns.
Yeah, again, I'm going to pick you up on the word "interesting.
" He's applied to build a casino and a big one, too.
It's stuck in some red tape because the site is too small but that may explain why he's bought the adjoining land from Dai Davies.
Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah Do you? Really? - No.
- Are you revising while we're talking? Oh, look.
I can't make head nor tail with all this planning stuff.
Say it again.
Iwan wants to build a casino.
But the council have objected and now all of a sudden Iwan wants To be on the council.
Exactly.
And I think we should ask him why.
Now, when's Aunty Brenda doing that debate? Any minute now.
Then there's no time to lose.
I've always wanted to say that.
And, finally, y finalmente, is Spanish, I would like to pledge free wrestling masks for all pensioners and children under 16.
Do you have any policies that aren't to do with Mexican wrestling? Oh, si, si, si, si.
National Sombrero Day! - Arriba! - Arriba! - Uh, thank you.
- Gracias.
Iwan Jenkins, can you talk us through the key points of your manifesto? Of course.
And may I just say how much I admire your work.
You tell it straight like it is.
I admire that.
And I'm going to give it to you straight.
I love this town.
Always have, always will.
I'm a man who's given a lot to this community.
What, like, free pens? Which is bribery, by the way.
Aunty Brenda, please.
And you, fawning away at everything he says.
You're influencing the voters.
I think our audience are intelligent enough to make up their own minds.
What, this lot? Most of them can barely read, let alone put an X in a box.
I'm sorry, the debate's already started.
No, we need to talk to Aunty Brenda.
It's urgent.
You'll have to wait till the inter This can't wait.
- It's going to have to.
- You don't understand.
We need to give her this.
No chance.
Oh I'm feeling really faint, I'm seeing double, and I'm fai Oi! And this is not just the greatest town in Wales.
Aunty Brenda! But the greatest town in the world.
- Aunty Brenda.
- What are you doing? - Read this.
- Can't do that.
I just did.
Sorry, big fan, by the way.
We'll be taking questions from the audience after the interval, so would you please sit down? Senor, you want me to place him in a hold? Uh, wait! Iwan Jenkins! What do you know about the building of a super-sized casino in Pontyberry? I'm not sure that's relevant.
But it's being refused planning permission and, all of a sudden, you're standing to be on the council.
Why is that? Do I really have to answer this? Yes, you do, mate! To right you do, mate.
Si.
Why don't you just give it to us straight? I'm not going to apologise for wanting to invest in this town, but if you must know, as of yesterday, in fact, I've decided against building a casino.
I've actually been looking at plans for For an animal sanctuary.
For donkeys.
Rescue donkeys.
And dogs.
Rescue dogs.
For the blind.
And pigs that fly.
Do you think we've done enough? Who knows.
Nice fainting, by the way.
It wasn't too over the top? No, it was unbelievably convincing.
I do think it's important that people use their vote.
We do every time, don't we, Karl? Oh, yeah.
X Factor, Got to Dance, Britain's Got Talent.
You have to vote.
We're very lucky over here.
People in China, they don't have any of that.
It's disgusting.
Luke.
Yeah, in here.
Guess who made a picture of her daddy.
That is lovely, thank you darling.
Might have overdone it a bit with the aftershave.
Huh, sorry.
Just, uh, really wanted to impress this time.
Big client was there? Uh, yeah.
Anyway, you might want to put that suit back on.
Council results tonight.
Thought we'd go along, support Aunty Brenda.
It's been ages since we had a night out.
- All right.
- Thanks, babe.
I'll go and have a shower.
Another ten minutes, is it? Give or take.
- Hiya! - All right.
Hi, Bobs, I've had such an exciting afternoon.
You've done something different to your hair, haven't you? Bobby's cheering me up.
Hmm, so I see.
Gin Slanger Slimmer Dogs, I do call them.
There you are.
I'll do you one and all, Stell.
And there's your rent over there.
Oh, late.
Come on then.
Let's have it.
No, it's depressing and boring.
She's right.
This will help.
I feel so bloody lost.
I don't know where I belong.
I don't know what I should be doing.
Or who she should be doing it with.
Well, firstly, you're not lost because you come back here.
Where else am I meant to go? Exactly.
No matter how bad things are, you've always got here.
And I'm here.
And I am here.
And Daddy.
And no matter where you go, Pontyberry will always be here.
And in here.
Is that a bit much, the pointing at the heart thing? - It was really - It was a bit.
Yeah.
Look, what it is with friendship, - is that when - Should we just get pissed? I'm sorry.
It's okay.
At least it's not broken, that's something.
Are you going to be all right? Not much of a date, was it? Four hours in A and E.
Well, it was different.
See you around, then.
Ben.
You didn't have to go to all that effort, you know? You could have just kissed me and taken me out to the cinema.
Oh.
Sorry.
How was that? Perfect.
Word is, it's still very close.
No thanks to you, Dai Davies.
Selling Jenkins your land so he could build a casino in Pontyberry.
Shame, it is.
I was unaware of the ramifications.
Hopefully, I've saved the day.
Pulled Pontyberry back from the brink of Sod and Gomorrah.
I'm gonna go get some water.
Feeling a bit dodgy.
Okay.
It's probably something I ate.
Where was it that you went for your meeting? Uh, just a restaurant in town.
Back in a bit.
Excuse me.
Twice in one day? Is that what I get for offering to pay double? What are you doing here? Well, I could ask you the same question.
I didn't think you'd be interested in politics.
Well, my aunty's standing.
Aunty Brenda's Common Sense Party.
I don't know about you but I had fun today.
We should do it again sometime.
Luke! - What? - Results in two minutes.
Tension is making my bladder the size of a pea.
Wish your aunty good luck.
Ladies and gentlemen, here are the results for the final council seat in the Pontyberry ward.
Total votes cast were 2,413.
Which were distributed as follows.
Dafydd Sanchez.
Mexican Wrestling Party.
Four votes.
Thank you.
Iwan Jenkins.
Independent.
1,204 votes.
Promised cocking chocolates, didn't he? Aunty Brenda.
The Aunty Brenda Common Sense Party.
1,205 votes.
I therefore declare, Aunty Brenda duly elected to the district council! Never in doubt.
Never in doubt.
People of Pontyberry, I would just like to say a few words.
That'll be the first.
I just want to say thank you for voting for me.
Pontyberry folk are the best in the world and I am humbled.
Humbled to serve you.
And, of course, I couldn't have done this without my team.
So, a special thank you to Dai Davies.
Despite everything.
Yanto Beed.
Miscellaneous.
Bobby Gittins.
And, of course, Michael Jackson.
Who has almost redeemed himself in my eyes after this previous indiscretion.
Now, let's get this party started! She into the superstition Black cat and the voodoo doll I feel a premonition This girl's gonna make me fall She maka me take my clothes off And go dancing in the rain She'll make you live her crazy I got something for you.
That is Bobby's rent plus the contents of my piggy bank.
Should help pay off a few bills.
- Look, Mum, I can't.
- And if it's not enough, I can always go back on the INN.
It's brilliant.
Thanks, Mum.
Oh, you made it, then? You know earlier I said I was feeling a bit lost? And you said that stuff about not being lost 'cause wherever I go - and you did that heart thing.
- Heart thing.
Well, I thought about it and you're right.
I could go anywhere.
Anywhere in the world.
Well, you just come back.
I'm going to go to New Zealand, Stell.
Visit Uncle Huw.
You remember, he spoke at Daddy's funeral.
- Wasn't really a funeral.
- Wasn't really a funeral.
Well, he lives out there with this big old Maori woman called Gertrude.
And she's as good as gold, she is.
And Daddy's always wanted to visit.
I'm going to take him.
He've got the energy of a 20-year-old, your father.
He was going to come tonight, but he's gone to a hot-tub convention in Rhyl.
So, you're going to miss me? Nope.
You going to miss me? Nope.
Oh He's not that bad, I suppose.
Who? Dai Davies? I saw the light on the night as she passed by my window I saw the flickering shadows of love on her blind She was my woman Thank you.
For everything.
My pleasure.
Aunty Brenda's in her element.
So were you, actually.
Feeling great the past couple of days.
It was like the old you.
Yep, it was.
And I like that.
Returning to the old me, that is.
But when I say old, I don't mean old, old.
Because I'm not.
I'm old in a good way.
In fact, you could say it was the new old me, a new old Michael.
- Stop talking.
- Yeah.
You know, for a nurse, you have terrible bedside manner.
Right.
We have been chatting about our wedding and we'd really love it if If you'd do me the honour of being maid of honour.
And best man.
Michael, not you.
- What Really? - Yeah, yeah.
Oh, we'd We'd love to.
Wouldn't we? Yes, of course.
Alan, get the champagne.
Sparkling wine, coming up.
Forgive me, Delilah I just couldn't take any more Ole! I've got some money I want to pay you.
I don't take instalments.
Give me a break.
You can pay me today, can you? Of course.
Something's up with Luke and I don't know what it is.
So, my 17-year-old daughter is staying in some seedy hotel with an older man who's already fathered a child.
You're coming home with me right now.
Dad, what are you doing here?