Succession (2018) s04e01 Episode Script

The Munsters

Hi, how are you?
- Good to see you.
- Oh, here's the old man.
Here he is.
Looks good in there, huh?
Happy birthday, Pa.
Yeah, let's let's move on
and put this in the in the "no" pile.
Can you tell me your idea
with this one? Just so I know
what the thinking was
behind this branding?
- Yeah.
- Oh, Romey!
Yeah, this is another we've got.
- Where are you, dude?
- It's my brother, he's coming.
Let's put a pin in this one and move on.
Let a thousand sunflowers bloom, Romey.
- I wanna start a business with you, brother.
- Oy, oy?
- What's up, T?
- Um, this is
There's This is, uh, nothing.
So, yeah, no.
- Right, fuckchops?
- Hey, guys. Right, how we looking?
This is one that we feel could
work across every vertical
- No.
- No, that's
- No.
- That's a no. That's a hard no.
In terms of what we need for
our new venture, The Hundred,
- they're they're
- They're shitty.
- Okay.
- They're they're shitty.
They're shitty. We can just
be honest here, right?
The Hundred is Substack
meets Masterclass,
meets The Economist,
meets The New Yorker.
- Right.
- I feel like we said iconic
and you guys are leaning ironic.
- Hey, T!
- Well, fucking don't patronize me. Hey!
- I think the money is here.
- Oh, shit.
And, Rome, I think your security
are being very weird with them.
They're They seem stupid
and probably racist.
Uh-huh. Well, you look tired,
and your face is giving me a headache.
Oh, thank you.
So, where have you been, sis?
What do you mean? Hey!
- Where have you been?
- Uh, it was traffic. And a call.
- Hmm!
- Business. For this.
- It's a good contact.
- Look, uh, guys,
- this is good feedback
- Yeah, we're gonna circle back
on exactly all that stuff
and we'll talk to you soon.
See you later.
- So, traffic, huh?
- Yeah, traffic. What?
Shivy, are you snaking?
We hear that you've been talking
to the Jimenez transition team.
Well, no.
- Oh, no? No?
- No.
Okay, so it's lies
that our friend told us?
They're lying to us?
Well, I've talked to them,
but it's because I'm helping
them out, as you already know.
Okay, so you you are talking?
I returned a call. They wanna,
you know, talk about talking.
Oh, they wanna talk about talking.
What? Come on.
They haven't won the election,
and they might not,
and Dad might not sell,
and you two might bail,
and it's a maybe,
maybe, maybe situation.
Well, Dad is obviously selling.
We're looking at fucking logos here.
I I drafted a resignation statement
- from Waystar, so
- Yeah, same. I
This is just a big step, and so,
can't we keep some options?
Keep options open?
We're two days out from Dad selling.
Here's the thing. Here's what
you have to understand.
I've smoked horse.
- Yeah. He's scared of needles.
- It's really,
- really, really fucking nice.
- He's not a real junkie. Mm-hmm.
And, you know, I need something
super fucking absorbing
in my life. And if it
isn't gonna be this,
please just let me know, right?
Because I I I feel like
I've been flying
around the country,
having serious fucking conversations
with serious people,
expending serious personal capital,
and getting big fucking names on board.
- Yeah, same. Me, too.
- I know. That's right.
Yeah, so we've all been doing that.
Are you worried that this
is maybe too small-scale?
- What? No. No, do you?
- Me? No!
My only worry with The Hundred is,
is it literally too good?
- Like, why hasn't anyone done this before?
- Sure.
I am in.
I'm in. I am.
Happy birthday to you ♪
Happy birthday, dear Logan ♪
Happy birthday to you ♪
Thank you.
Jesus fucking Christ.
You okay, Loge?
Munsters. Meet the fucking Munsters.
Who the fuck is this now?
- So, I guess we should
- Hi, hi. Welcome.
- Welcome, Greg. And?
- Hey. Hey, Kerry.
This is, uh, Bridget.
Bridget, this is Kerry.
- Logan's
- Friend, assistant, and advisor.
Friend, assistant, and advisor.
- Hey, I'm Bridget.
- Hi, Bridget.
So great to meet you. Um, Greg,
let me and you grab Bridget a drink.
- Yeah?
- Oh, yeah?
Okay. So, excuse us, Bridget.
All right.
I'm sorry, we'll be right back.
- Okay. It's okay.
- Yeah.
- Make yourself at home.
- Don't worry about it.
- Who is this, Greg?
- That's my date.
Uh-huh. Right, but who is she?
I brought a date. That's okay, right?
What's her name? What's her full name?
- Bridget
- Is it Random-fuck?
Bridget Random-fuck?
- You know
- Is she from the apps, Greg?
I really like her. I
I might've fallen for her.
Oh, that's great.
How many previous dates have you had?
Um, Kerry. I You know, I'm not
I'm not sure this is appropriate.
We're not a fucking Shake Shack, Greg.
This isn't a pre-fuck party.
It's a birthday party.
I am a cousin. I get a plus one.
- I'm I'm like an honorary kid.
- Oh, you're an honorary kid?
Yeah. I mean Marcia once said
- that I was always welcome
- Oh, Marcia's not here.
She's in Milan, shopping, forever.
You do know that
that we're in the middle
of a very hotly contested election,
your uncle's on the break
of a very large sale,
and scoping out a very
sensitive acquisition?
Yeah? So, are you certain
that she's not gonna leak details
right before the board meeting?
Do you know she's not
a hostile corporate asset?
- Okay, so, we're looking for investment partners
- I think that's good.
for a revolutionary new media brand
that's gonna redefine news
for the 21st century.
It's an indispensable,
bespoke information hub.
Then I go, "The hundred
greatest experts,
best writers, top minds in every field
from Israel-Palestine to AI
to Michelin restaurants".
"One-stop info shop,
- high-calorie info snacks".
- I'm sorry, I've gotta
- I'm just gonna take this.
- Oh, you're taking a call?
- Okay, all right. Take it.
- Info parcels
- Info parcels or info snacks?
- None of those make sense.
- Hello.
- Hey.
How are you?
Good. How are you? What is it?
Yeah, I was just calling,
just to give you a heads-up
and just to say hi,
and, um, just to say,
just to let you know
that I just had a little drink
with Naomi Pierce last night.
Just in case of anything,
I just wanted to, uh, inform you.
Uh, I'm sorry. You're Hmm.
You're informing me?
No, I just wanted
to perform the ask, um,
out of due deference.
Uh, just in case of photos
or getting talked about or
No, I'm sorry. You're
you're you're asking me,
or you're informing me?
Shiv, it's not a thing.
It's not a thing.
So, then why are you letting me know?
Because it's not business.
- But it is it is, uh
- You know what? It's fine.
It's fine. You're dating
my brother's ex.
It's fine.
Shiv, no. It's not
It's a social It's social.
It's not a sexual thing.
You know? So, there's nothing
I need to tell you about.
And yet, you are telling me.
Because I bumped into Marlinda, okay?
And, of course,
she got her little beak in,
so I had to tell her it wasn't business
because she asked, okay?
So, the headline is
there's nothing to worry about.
- Okay?
- You know what? It's fine.
It's all fucking fine.
Seriously. Knock yourself out.
Go fucking nail her in the coat check.
I don't care. The kid from
St. Paul has really made it.
I just thought, under the terms
of what we agreed,
this was something worth discussing.
You don't discuss something,
Tom, that's already fucking happening.
You don't say like, "Hey, Shiv!
Do you mind, uh, Naomi
and I are at the Pierre
and I'm inside her. Would
you mind if I ejaculate?"
Whatever. Whatever. Fine. Fine.
And look, I saw from
the calendar update,
you're back in the city tonight?
Yeah. So
why the fuck are you meeting
with her? What's going on?
Take care, Shiv.
Another one is, it's like
a private members club,
but for everyone.
It is like clickbait in a way,
but for, like, smart people, no?
Right, and, uh, and then we have
the ethos of a non-profit,
but a path to crazy margins.
- Shiv, you Shiv, you okay?
- Yeah.
- You sure?
- No, it's fine. I'm fine.
It's just, you know,
Tom's apparently out with Naomi Pierce.
- Did you know about this?
- Um.
- N Wh What, what? No.
- Where are you at with her?
I don't know, like,
carnival of mind fuck?
I don't know. It's
We haven't really talked.
Well, apparently, she's
fucking Tom now, so
Um, can I can I go get them?
Yeah. I'm fine. I'm actually fine.
Yeah, I mean he's not
It was just a meeting, apparently, so
It's fine. Let's do this.
Um, yeah? Do you
Uh, T, do you think
they can just give us two?
I mean, it's fine,
but they just got off
a long flight, so
Just tell them they can shove
their petrodollars
up their human rights record, okay?
We need to talk to our sister.
Yeah, yeah. They're fine.
They're fine. They love it.
Jess, find them a journalist
to burn with cigarettes
- while they wait, or whatever they do.
- Well, I'll just
Shiv, is it a date?
- Or what is it?
- I don't
I don't know. I mean, honestly,
it probably isn't, but
I mean, Naomi?
- Dad?
- Pierce is
With Dad? You think what?
Right, so from my team, I got sent this.
Apparently, Bun Pierce
has been tagged
on some girl's Insta at Dad's.
At Dad's?
- Today?
- At the birthday.
- What?
- Um
- So
- Okay.
Well, board meeting, imminent.
He sells up, but with ATN spun off?
What? He's he's he's lining up
a Pierce acquisition to add
to his little fucking ATN rump?
- No
- I guess.
Or, you know, it could
just be a brain fuck.
Dad twisting our turnips,
playing the old fuck trombone.
Right, set Tom and Nay up
to just torture us.
Set them up to torture us?
- Yeah.
- I mean
He's a sociopath,
but he wouldn't be a good torturer.
Not 'cause he doesn't have the stomach,
but he just doesn't have the patience.
I'm gonna call Nay.
- Um, uh, Telly?
- Yeah?
Telly, jelly, belly.
- One query.
- Nay
Pierce. PGN. What's the, uh, vibes?
Ye ole rhumbatron?
- Can you call me?
- Are they in play?
Uh, well, I know they're
always open to offers,
and the sale contingent
on the trust is itchy,
I believe.
Should I call Nabby through?
Five more. Please. Just give us five.
Okay, yeah.
Of course.
- Fuck.
- Hey. Hey. You okay, Con?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Um
Just polling, uh, and, yeah.
Ten days out and
Nice. What what do you have now?
- Solid. Still holding.
- Yeah, one percent.
It's just the fear is,
in these last days
uh, it could get squeezed.
- Squeezed down?
- Mm-hmm.
From one? 'Cause that's
the lowest number possible.
Uh, no. There's, you know, decimals.
You know, they're saying
that I could need
to get aggressive
in certain media markets
because both sides are trying
to squeeze my percent.
That's greedy,
knowing they have
all the other percents.
I know, but then
it gets awfully spendy
to get aggressive.
Like, how much?
- Like another 100 mil.
- One hundred million? Damn.
I mean, and So, what
would you get for that?
- I mean, could you win?
- Good Lord, no.
No, no. Uh, that won't
move the needle, no.
Uh, the hope is that would maintain
maintain my percent.
Okay, and for your percent you get?
He gets a place in the conversation.
Which is great.
'Cause conversation's
important to be inside of.
- Mm-hmm.
- But it is kind of a lot.
- Right, Will?
- A hundred million?
I mean, well, yeah. Mm-hmm.
But if you spent it, you'd still be
- you know, like, rich.
- Oh, sure.
Sure. Yeah. Yeah.
Nevertheless, like,
minus a hundred million.
when it comes to this
new venture with GoJo.
And if you talk to Matsson, consider
- Right. Thank you.
- Yes, sir.
Looks good.
- We squared away on this?
- Yeah. Got the structure.
Got the landing zone.
Naomi thinks that Nan has lost
all interest in the business.
The Left are going after them now.
- They eat their own.
- Yeah. The cousins want out.
So, I think, uh, a last
push on price, maybe.
A little tummy tickle
on culture. And, uh, yeah.
Naomi's flown out to reassure.
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah. So, this is it.
You landed the plane, Logan.
Forty-eight hours and out.
Have you heard from the, uh, rats?
One thing has been
on my mind though, sir.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yes, um
Well, with one thing and another
and, you know,
I'm sure we'll iron it all out,
but the rocky, old road of life,
um, and the wife part of that
can be a difficult part of it.
As you know.
Not to comment, just to say
Just to say it would be great
to get your take.
You know, hopefully,
it won't come to that,
in the end, if there
is just too much
emotional, um, shrapnel,
I I wondered what your view would be.
Not that you necessarily need
to have one, but
what would happen were
a marriage, such as mine,
and, you know, even in fact mine,
uh, if that were to falter
to the point of failure?
If you and Shiv were to bust up?
I guess, you know, Shiv and I
have had this experiment,
this trial separation, but but
whatever happens, you know,
- we'll always be good, right?
- If we're good, we're good.
Okay. Well, that's heartening.
That's that's heartening.
I'm heartened by that. That's great.
Kerry, where's the grub, huh?
Tom's going off his nut here.
So, you two are thinking
we should be buying Pierce, huh?
Because that's obviously
what you're thinking,
and let me just say,
that's quite the fucking pivot!
You may be thinking,
"What about The Hundred?"
Maybe, fuck The Hundred?
- Maybe.
- Fuck The Hundred, Shiv?
After Dubai, you were
high as shit on it.
- It was basically your idea.
- I love it. I do.
- You do?
- Yes, but can't we do both?
- Can't we do both? Okay, yeah.
- Yeah.
Let's launch a high-visibility,
disruptor news brand
while simultaneously performing CPR
on a fucking corpse
of a legacy media conglomerate.
Should we ask Tellis, the bankers?
Yes. Let's ask Tellis.
I wonder what he's gonna say.
We'll say, "Hey, Telly,
would you rather five million
in fees from a funding round,
or 35 million from an acquisition?" Hmm.
I thought we were going for The Hundred.
- Small, new, fast on our feet.
- Are you scared of fighting Dad?
Am I scared of fighting No, Ken.
It's just that's getting fucking old.
You spent the last three
months hunting down,
you know, contributors, backers, right?
- Working your fucking ass off.
- Look, I don't have a view.
All I would say is, maybe
it's worth the conversation.
All right, it is our wheelhouse.
It's a Daimler that's been
in the barn for 20 years.
Clear the chicken shit
off that thing, fucking maybe.
Okay. But can we even afford it?
Yeah, I mean, what,
it's it's half now,
so that's like eight, nine bil.
And after the GoJo sale, that's
- We'll have two, three bil
- Three.
so, yeah, that's our nut.
Hey, if we partner up,
with our name, with these fucks here,
some other pieces of shit?
Our experience?
Shiv, the yummy, dummy Demmy,
my profile as the fearless
fighter of the good fight,
you as the dirty, little fucker
- He really knows himself.
- pushing the filth buttons.
I mean, I think Yeah, new gen Roys.
We have a fucking song to sing.
I mean, as a business, it's
It's much better than
the made-up company
of dreams we were ready to pitch.
- Fuck you. You fucking You loved it!
- No!
- What? I do.
- You did.
I do. It's very exciting.
But it's kinda bullshit.
Rome, it is.
It's just, I wanna do something. It's
We have a seminal election
about to happen,
and it's fucking 1933,
and I wanna have a say.
- Uh.
- It makes sense, Rome.
Start an empire
with an established brand.
All right, at least
at least, rule it out.
- Oh!
- Disgustibus!
So, I hear you've made
an enormous faux pas
and everyone's laughing up their sleeves
- about your date.
- What? Why?
Why? Because she's brought
a ludicrously capacious bag.
- What's
- What's even in there? Huh?
Flat shoes for the subway?
Her lunch pail?
I mean, Greg, it's monstrous.
It's gargantuan.
You could take it camping.
You could slide it across the floor
- after a bank job.
- Well, whatever.
She's another tick on the chart.
The Disgusting Brothers!
Don't Don't call us that.
It was heavily ironized, Greg.
- All right?
- Okay, I'm kidding.
I really do like her.
- Uh-huh?
- Yeah.
Well, she's used all the display towels
in the bathroom. Another sopping wet.
She's gabbling about herself
and posting on social media.
She's asking people personal questions,
and, uh, she's wolfing all the canapés
like a famished warthog.
People are overreacting, okay?
She brought a normal sort of handbag.
You are a laughingstock
in polite society.
You'll never go to the opera again.
Maybe, we should go.
Oh, are you okay?
- Wh what happened?
- Nothing.
I just asked Logan for a selfie.
You asked Logan for a selfie?
Yeah, I said, "Congrats
on the big deal".
And I was, like, "Ka-ching. Am I right?"
I was being I was being funny.
All right, so I'm in touch
with her bankers.
Nan thinks she's honor bound
to another buyer.
- Did she say no?
- No. But they're close
to agreeing the outlines of a deal.
There's not a ton of interest,
managing the family's a nightmare,
so they're looking
for a preferred bidder
- to run a bilateral.
- Uh-huh.
She wants to lock in that
preferred bidder tonight.
So, she didn't think
it could work, but
she did say she could speak
to you, Shiv, maybe.
Oh. Okay. Well, should I at least call?
Just just check in at Grey Gardens
and go, you know, mano a Nan-o?
Just see if there's anything
there at all?
Work your magic.
- You good?
- Uh-huh.
It's nice, huh?
Yeah, little piggies
stuffing their mouths.
Why is everybody so fucking happy?
- You okay?
- Yeah.
I got done a huge fucking deal
in exactly the right time.
I got ATN, plus Pierce.
I got the election.
I got plenty on my plate.
I thought there might be a churchman.
Uh, I'm sorry?
A cardinal was mentioned.
Bit of fucking class.
- What about Jeryd?
- Um.
Mencken? I think that he hopes to,
but realistically
But I think that he hopes to.
But Gillian. Gillian is here.
Oh, whoop-de-doop.
Do you want me to be
in touch with the kids?
When is she calling?
Nan, I think that she just wants
to talk to her whole gang.
I'm not gonna sit like a cunt,
waiting for that old crone.
- You all right?
- Yeah. Let's go.
Let's get out of here.
- Um.
- Okay, so it is Dad. Confirmed.
Yeah. Man, she's a complicated woman.
She's like, "No, no. I'm honor bound.
My mind is made up. But also,
how soon we can be there?"
- Oh, fuck her.
- What do you think?
Uh, I think she hates Dad,
but also thinks
maybe we're fake fruit
for display purposes only,
- so I don't know.
- Can we just
tell her to fuck off?
Maybe not go back to the mat with Dad.
You know, back in that fucking room.
Shall we cards on the table?
- Yeah.
- Because, yeah,
I I do like Pierce.
- Agreed.
- Oh, fuck's sake.
- Rome, it makes sense.
- Yeah.
We wanted to do something together,
and we know news, entertainment,
and and this is off-the-shelf.
So, I guess until now,
you've just sort of been
stringing us along?
- No.
- No. I like the other shit.
I do. I just, you know,
I I like this. I really do.
And besides, everything else
might fall apart.
He might go on a killing
spree in 7-Eleven,
and you might get your dick
stuck in an AI jerk machine.
- Let's hope.
- I have to look after myself
because nobody else will.
- I like this.
- Okay. All right.
So, you wanna fly there?
You know, like Nan Pierce's
little Windsor Dog Show bitch?
It's just a checkout.
Fuck, shit. It's just, I don't know.
I'm worried, I guess. I am.
I'm like you wanna fuck Dad,
you wanna fuck Tom.
I'm the only one who wants
to set up a business
as a business, and doesn't
wanna fuck anyone.
Rome, this acquisition
would be nothing do with Dad.
It's completely unrelated.
- Don't believe you.
- Uh, seriously.
- Seriously, don't believe you.
- Seriously.
- Seriously, don't believe you.
- No, no. Okay, well,
this is not about getting back at Dad,
but if it hurts him,
it doesn't bother me.
I think that you don't
wanna do this, Rome,
'cause you're scared of conflict.
Honestly, Rome, being rational,
putting aside the internecine
family concerns,
the personal tittle-tattle,
just think about
how fucking funny it would be
if we screw Dad over
his decades-long obsession?
You're a good guy.
Thank you, sir.
- You're my pal.
- Thank you.
- You're my best pal.
- Thank you.
I mean, what are people?
What are people?
- Um, like
- They're economic units.
I'm a hundred feet tall.
These people are pygmies.
But together
- they form a market.
- Okay. Right.
What is a person?
It has values and aims,
but it operates in a market.
Um, marriage market
job market, money market,
market for ideas et cetera, et cetera.
So, everything is a market?
Everything I try to do,
people turn against me.
Nothing tastes like it used to, does it?
Nothing is the same as it was.
You think there's anything
after all this?
- I don't know.
- I don't think so.
- I think this is it, right?
- Maybe.
My dad is is very religious, but
- Yeah, but realistically though?
- I don't know.
And that's it.
We don't know.
We can't know.
But I've got my suspicions.
I've got my fucking suspicions.
Oh, well, lookie here.
Pardon me. Well, hello, Kerry,
and how are we today?
Yeah, hi. Can you
can you hear me?
The line is a little bit
Uh, yeah. Sort of.
We're in transit. Can you hear me?
Tell her you'd be able
to hear her better
if she took Dad's cock out of her mouth.
What's that?
Uh, that was my sister saying
that we would hear you better
if you took Dad's cock
out of your mouth.
So, my question was,
uh, would you consider
giving him a call?
Would we consider at least a call?
Uh, well, is he apologizing?
- Did I mean, did he ask?
- Um, did he ask?
Uh, he I just
I know that he would love
to hear from you.
I mean, if he were to call,
then we would see.
Yeah. I think it's just gonna be a lot
to get him to call, just knowing him.
Yeah, I mean, I I think
we know him pretty well, actually.
I mean, we've never licked
his big omelet nipples, but
I could get him to text
a request for a call.
- Uh, I'm afraid we're gonna need to hear
- No, fuck that.
that voice, Kerry, okay?
You can pop it back in your mouth now.
We're getting on the plane. Thanks, bye.
- Dick. Yeah?
- Hey. Hey. Problem.
He's just he's
he's not picking up for me.
- He pick up for you?
- Hmm.
No. Excuse me, I'm sorry.
Can I get through?
- Hey.
- Hey.
Uh, listen. So, you know the wedding.
- Hmm.
- I've, uh, been thinking.
Okay, like
Is the boat special enough?
Like, brainstorming,
what if we got married
underneath the Statue
of Liberty with a brass band?
Get a rapper.
I don't know, jet packs,
- and confetti guns
- Mm-hmm.
and razor wire, and bum fights,
and, you know, goody bags.
And hoopla and razzmatazz and
- "Bum fights"?
- Yeah.
Con, you sound unhinged. What is this?
Look, if I can get inserted
into the news cycle,
that's a huge savings from paid media.
Wow, right, um.
It's just The wedding
I mean, I've always
You know, it's dumb, but quite
wanted a nice wedding.
I'm scared, Willa, I'm scared, okay?
I have spent so much fuckin' money
- and it's gettin' scary.
- God.
And if I was to fall under one percent,
I feel like I would
become a laughingstock.
- I'm It's
- I
Would you just consider it?
Just a little Just a little bit
- of hoopla?
- Hmm.
Just for the final push?
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Hey.
Kerry said she knows where he is.
He's coming back now.
What are you smiling for?
The Disgusting Brothers
- on motherfucking tour!
- Shh.
- We just did it.
- What do you mean you did it?
She's a firecracker, man.
She's crunchy peanut butter.
- Wait, you did it?
- Mm-hmm.
Are you serious? Where?
We were looking for the, uh
the armory-slash-cigar-humidor,
then she pulled me into a guest bedroom
and bingo-bongo, hit that bango.
You you actually did it?
Oh, Greg You are fucked.
You're fucked.
He's camera-ed up the wazoo. CCTV.
- Which room?
- Every room. You know that.
No, I evidently did not know that.
- Are you serious?
- Of course, I'm serious.
And he watches it back
every night with a scotch.
See if anyone's stolen a butter knife.
He's gonna fucking gut you
like a rainbow trout.
Oh, man, fuck.
What did you do? Were the lights on?
I mean, did you actually do it?
Tell me.
We put our hands down
each other's pants
- Right.
- and had a bit of a rummage.
Did you rummage to fruition?
Can I not say?
Well, you've accidentally
made him a sex tape, Greg.
- Oh, my God!
- You need to tell him.
Okay, party's over. Rival bid, let's go.
Uh, Tom, Gerri, Karl, Frank.
Upstairs, library.
Let's flush it out.
Would Would you mind
just giving me sec?
Oh, yeah, okay. Sure.
- Hey.
- Hey.
So, um
she's having a little wobble.
Nan? What do you mean?
She's not sure it feels right
to meet you guys.
But she feels terrible.
Okay. So what do we do?
Yeah, she might be getting a headache.
She wondered if you could give her five,
see how it develops?
Okay, well, sure.
Great. Let's, uh Let's see
how the headache develops.
Okay. Jesus.
So, who's crawled out
of the woodwork, huh?
Who is it?
- What?
- It's the kids. The kids are with the Pierces.
They are the rival bidders?
Oh, butter my beanpole.
How did they pick up the scent?
Oh, a million ways.
I mean, everybody knows
they're looking for suitors. It's not
- Well
- Could they even get the cash together?
I mean, couldn't Logan stop them?
No, if Waystar is sold,
they have the right
to liquidate their five percents.
You should probably tell him.
Oh, no. I am very focused
on the GoJo deal,
this is really a side issue. I think
You're such a trusted advisor.
Yeah, but I'm getting out, Ger, so
Well, I don't know what the news is,
and it's beyond my purview,
and I'm walking away.
- Beware the blood sugar.
- Well, fucking find out!
Um, sir, if I may have a moment.
What? What's the issue?
The rival bidder,
it's probably the kids.
I don't think you have anything
to be concerned about.
- You are the solid option.
- Uh-huh.
Call your wife, Tom.
Call your fucking wife
and tell them to get
their own fucking idea.
It's pathetic.
And tell her she's never had
a single fucking idea
in her entire fucking life!
- What?
- No. No, it can wait.
- What else?
- I You know, I
It's private.
Can you and I just have a moment?
- Over there.
- Thank you, sir.
You think she's just cooling us off?
Doing a Dad move?
No, no. Poor thing has a headache.
- So, she's feeling a little better.
- Great.
So, if you like, she will see you.
All right. We get to talk to an old lady
about newspapers. Amazing.
Thank you so much.
So how did it go?
So, he says he finds me disgusting
and despicable, but he kind of smiled.
- Oh, did he?
- Yeah.
- What did you say?
- I said So I said,
you know, she's a bit wild,
she's quite eager and, you know,
maybe she'd had a bit
of the old wacky tabacky,
or worse.
And that I never intended
to soil these halls.
And, maybe, she's just a bit of a
Bit of a drug-addled, cock monster.
So, you blamed it on her.
You're so gallant.
So, she's gonna have to leave, okay?
Um, is that is that
really necessary or
- Do you have an issue with that?
- No, no, no. Look.
No, Colin, I'm fond of her,
but but we must,
each of us, do as we see fit, so
She posted to social media.
So now, I'm gonna have to ask
to go through her phone.
You wanna come explain?
You know you know,
wait, sorry. You know what?
I think it is best if you go
do what you have to do.
I I don't wanna see what
happens in Guantanamo.
So, um So, you go
You do do your ways
and and God be willing.
Well, hello. Welcome,
apologies for the kerfluffle.
I have an appalling migraine.
But I can manage.
How are you all, more importantly?
- Great.
- Good. Great to see you.
And it's a lovely place.
Ah, yeah. It would seem that they shred
hundred-dollar notes for fertilizer.
Now, how are you all faring
in terms of your father?
Uh, we're fine. It's just a complicated,
- private situation.
- Whereby we all hate him.
Well, look, it
- Please, sit.
- Yeah.
Look, as you probably know
we are talking with our bankers.
And we have a whole number of
very interesting proposals to consider.
And I think it's all wrapped up.
So, I wanted to say
thank you for coming,
but I think it's just
a little bit too late.
We have a preferred bidder.
So, I hope that I have not
inconvenienced you.
Okay, well, lovely visit.
Great to see you guys.
No, really. I'm I am very sorry.
May I offer you some bottles?
They might as well be jars of jam to me,
but the connoisseurs seem to like them.
I fear I have peasant tastes.
You don't want to just hear the offer?
I got a taste
for hypermarché vin ordinaire
when I was 19 years old
and I have never been able to shake it.
I like my wine thin and vinegary.
- Like her men.
- Naomi!
No, but really, I fear
it is a trip made in vain.
The other offer's just too good.
Listen, long story short, Nan.
You called this right before.
Yeah? Logan wants to take
your company and fuck it.
He loathes you and he wants
to take your properties
and roll them in the dirt.
And we wouldn't do that.
Look, I think that after this election,
we all, as a country, could
be in a very bad place.
And I could we would
maintain your values.
That's all good and well, but obviously,
with one thing and another,
we have a responsibility
to get the best possible deal
for my family and the
other shareholders.
I'm confident that we can
be competitive on price.
Well, with Jamie's divorce
and Anne's disaster in Maine.
And this place.
How's your financing?
Not that I understand at all.
It's robust. Tellis and our team
can talk to your people.
And in terms of your futures?
Well, we've written
our resignation letters,
and the GoJo deal signs in 48 hours.
Nevertheless, you'd still be married
to the head of ATN. That's a bit messy.
- I'm getting a divorce, so
- Oh. 'Kay.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Yes, it's a sad, sad day when love dies.
Listen, this is, um
This is very confusing.
And I don't want to talk numbers.
- It's not about the numbers.
- Totally. Totally.
Shall we just say our number, though?
Just see if that makes any sense.
Oh, I don't like this.
Makes me feel like I'm in the middle
of a bidding war.
Horrible. Different people
saying different numbers.
Eight, nine. What's next?
I know. It's so confusing.
What comes after nine?
Nine B?
Listen, would you mind if, uh,
if we all had a brief chat?
Have you seen the view
from the terrace? It's incredible.
- Oh, that's sounds lovely.
- Can't beat it.
- All right. We'll try.
- Thank you.
Thank you, Nan.
Nan is "thinking",
and she wondered if she could ask
for your indulgence?
- It's not a money question.
- Uh-huh.
So, you okay to hold on for a minute
just before you talk to her?
- Well, what else can I fucking say?
- Okay. Hi.
Yeah. We'll hold.
Nobody tells jokes anymore do they?
Karl, do you have any jokes?
What's that?
I'm saying, Karl
- it's a bit dry in here.
- Oh.
Do you have any jokes?
Um, uh, well, let me think, um
Oh, dry as fucking dust.
Come on! Roast me! Hmm?
Give me a drubbing!
Frank, start. Be funny.
Uh, it's not really my thing, Chief.
Oh, so, what? You don't
think I can take it?
No, it's just not my style.
I mean, I can.
Uh, the thing about Logan Roy is
The thing about Logan is
he's a tough old nut.
Oh, Christ. Sid fucking Caesar.
- Greggy.
- You're mean.
You're mean. You're a mean, old man.
You're you're a mean, old bastard.
Uh, and you scare the life
out of folks. That's your thing.
You're scaring me right now.
And and that's why I don't
even know how what to do.
Who wants to smell Greg's finger. Hey?
Guess the scent, win a buck.
Come on, roast me!
Where are your kids?
Where's all your kids, Uncle Logan?
On your big birthday?
Well, where's your old man, huh?
Where's your old man?
Still sucking cock at the county fair?
Gerri, been sent anything funny lately?
All a bit horrible for me.
Thanks, Logan.
I'm not being horrible.
I'm being fun. Fucking Munsters.
Okay, very good. Hang on.
So, she would like
to get this figured out.
In theory, at least, tonight.
The uncertainty is not good.
And they would like us
to get our best foot forward
on an indicative price tonight.
So no need to play nice.
Should I tell her to fuck off?
- Uh-huh.
- Loge?
I'm thinking.
- Is she talking to them?
- I think so.
Okay, okay, okay. Uh,
Kerry, I may need input.
Tellis, you there?
Hey, yeah, uh, I think
we can get that together.
Okay, so we're gonna
go in and say eight.
Yeah? We're we're starting at eight.
Yeah, but if we're going for this,
let's not be hard asses.
We got to let her know
that we can see upside,
but she's got to help us prove it out.
- Okay.
- Hello.
Yeah, what? Yes.
I'm interested. Shut up.
- Okay. So should I
- Yeah, she likes you.
- Yeah, eight is good.
- Thanks, T.
- Yeah, thanks. Top notch!
- Great, call you back.
Tell her what? We anchor at seven?
Not a problem.
- Yeah. Not too insulting?
- No, um, it's fine.
I mean, it's insulting,
but it's not like
you're wasting relationship capital.
She hates you.
Start at six. But like
you're kidding around.
Seven is what we soft-floated, right?
Six. Find something
we've lost conviction on,
just to let her know
that we're not Terry fucking
Turnip Truck over here.
Hi. Oh, hi! Nan!
Hi. Uh, so this is This
may be hard to say for me
and, uh, to hear for you.
Thank you.
Hi, Nan.
Uh, so I think we're looking at
We're very relaxed about
the eight billion landing spot.
This is disgusting.
But thank you.
- Yeah, we'll just need a minute.
- Okay.
Yeah, they didn't love it.
What are they up to, do you think?
I don't know.
I don't wanna lose this, Tommy.
Okay. You wanna just jump right up?
What to?
Call your wife. Call Shiv.
So, she appreciates eight.
Oh, yeah? She appreciates it? Cool.
But she wonders if there's
a little more upside? 'Kay.
Eight-five. Can we
can we go there, T?
Well, I I don't have
the precise composition
of our consortium and, obviously, DD,
but we know the asset
and I think we can get there.
Are you fucking jerking it
to your yacht catalog there, T?
Uh, this is exciting, guys!
Thanks, Tellis, that's a great insight.
He's gonna bill us 200 mil
for that strategy advice.
Uh, hello? Tom?
Okay. Uh, he wants a discussion.
- What? Dad's got Tom on this?
- Hmm.
- What? Was Colin not available?
- Hey, Shiv.
- Hi.
- Hey, Tom.
- Fuck you, man mountain!
- Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, so look, we were
just wondering, um,
if we're not being, uh,
played a little here
since this is all indicative.
Uh, okay, what did he go up to, Tom?
Well, I can't tell you that.
Come on, Tom, you can tell me.
Did he go to nine?
He didn't go to nine, did he?
Well, we were just wondering,
you know, uh,
all things being equal,
the asset does have a price,
and it would be
It would be crazy to add
an emotional, uh, premium here.
So, should we be looking
for a back door on this?
- What's Dad's ceiling?
- Well, what's your ceiling?
Why don't you go first, Tommy?
Build that trust, brah!
Well, his ceiling is is
Uh, well, I Your dad is just
I I can't Shiv, could we
could we just talk?
- Our ceiling is 12.
- Fuck off.
- Yeah.
- Okay, sure. Ours too. Okay.
Okay, I think Dad is gonna go
to what, nine? Nine-five?
So we need to be at nine-five.
Right, Tellis?
- Um
- You know what? I wonder
I wonder if we don't nickel and dime it
and we just go to ten.
So, we think Dad's at eight-five, nine.
So, we go nine-five to top them out.
But ten? Just to show
that we're really serious?
So, I The half bil extra
is just That's just
an extra half bil?
It's definitive. It ends
the conversation.
Well, that's a pretty penny
for a conversation ender.
Can't I just, like, jizz
in her break bumper?
- It rounds it out.
- Oh, it rounds it out.
Yeah. It does that, it makes
it extremely divisible.
I mean, you do know what
half a billion dollars is, right?
- Five-hundred million dollars?
- Yeah.
- Tellis.
- A million is a thousand thousand.
You do know that? So 500 times
a thousand thousand dollars
of actual money that could
we could be spending
on fucking snowmobiles
and sushi.
It's getting toppy, but be great
to be the preferred bidder here.
Okay, but is it actually worth that?
It's worth what the top bidder will pay.
- I guess.
- Wow, I really wish I went
to Harvard Business School
like you, T. It is intimidating,
talking to an intellectual
giant like yourself.
- Ten?
- Ten.
I mean
Okay, yeah, ten. Fuck you. Ten.
So, Nan, look,
we love the company and the heritage
and we'd like to make an offer
that we think values
the company and ends the conversation
and closes this out.
On an indicative handshake,
we'd like to take Pierce
to the next stage of its evolution
with a bid of ten billion dollars.
That gives us something to think about.
So, they're not accepting
another bidder.
Excuse me?
They said they've received
a conversation-ending offer.
- Tell them I'll go up.
- She says they're content.
That's bullshit.
Uh, I get the impression
it's upwards of nine-five.
Fucking geniuses. Ten?
I get a ten feeling.
Kind of feels like
we should fucking open some champagne.
Well, I am going back to LA
to retire to my bedroom,
and pull myself off
quite aggressively hard.
Thank you very much.
- Yeah, sure. Uh, hang on.
- Shotgun.
Will you speakerphone me, Shiv?
Yeah. It's Tom.
Hi, hi. Okay. So I have your dad
and he has a message.
Congratulations on saying
the biggest number,
you fucking morons.
I think we got him.
Oh! Yeah. Yeah.
It's me.
Shh. Shh. It's okay.
- Hey.
- Sorry, did I wake you?
No. I thought you were hoteling.
I, uh, needed wardrobe
access, actually, so
I thought you took your favorites.
I don't want to be restricted
to my favorites, Tom.
Uh, okay, do you wanna talk?
I hear you and Greg call yourselves
the "Disgusting Brothers" now.
Pretty cool.
Do you have a logo
and do you do the rules?
Is Greg your wingman?
We sometimes grab a drink, Shiv.
Well, it's pretty cool.
I hear you date models now.
Well, we agreed that we could
have a look around
while we had a think, right?
You look good. Ripped.
Well, I don't think so. But thank you.
Did you get buff for the models, Tom?
Do you bring them back here
and do the positions?
Do you do all the positions
with your models now, Tom?
Do you take turns with Greg?
Do they sit on your face to shut you up?
Do you really want
to get into a full accounting
of all the pain in our marriage?
Because if you do, I can do that.
- How's Mondale?
- Mondale's fine.
Don't worry about Mondale.
I guess he doesn't recognize
your scent any longer.
Huh? Well, things have
become complicated.
I wonder if there's even
a way through this.
Yeah, you know, I
I wonder if we might've run out of road.
I mean, we were going
going to have a big talk.
Well, I wonder if you might want
to make it official, you know?
But do you want to talk?
There's some things
I wouldn't mind saying and explaining.
I don't want to rake up
a whole lot of bullshit
for no profit, Tom.
But I feel I do feel
No, just stop. I don't think
it's good for me to
hear all that.
I think it might be time for you
and I to move on.
- That makes me sad.
- Huh. Sure.
And you don't want to talk
about what happened?
Tom, I think we could
talk things to death.
But, actually, we both just made
some mistakes and
I think a whole lot of
crying and bullshit
is not going to help that,
so if you're good,
we can just walk away with
our heads held high and
say good luck, yeah?
Well, okay.
I could see if I
if I can make love to you.
Would you like to?
I don't think so, Tom.
Should I go? Or are you gonna go?
I'm tired so
But you can You can
stay there if you like.
So this is it, huh?
Hmm. Yeah. I guess.
We gave it a go.
Yeah, we gave it a go.
Two men sustained serious,
life-threatening injuries
as a result of a brawl gone too far.
However, no shots were fired
at this family-friendly three-day event.
Instead, Brian Allen and Pete Meyers,
two firearms experts
in their own right
Hello? Logan?
Cyd, I just watched the top of the hour.
may have been over money. Go figure.
It's bullshit.
surrounded by an array of firearms.
- Allen and Meyers, each distinguished marksmen
- People watch at night.
- I watch at night.
- Okay.
Who is this fucking lunk anyway?
He looks like a ball sack in a toupee.
Are you losing it, Cyd?
I'm all over it, Loge.
Are you fucking losing it?
I'm on it.
Don't worry.
this has sullied a family-oriented
and otherwise entirely
peaceful occasion.
The Fayetteville Gun Show continues.
We'll be back right after this.
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