Sunday Night at the Palladium (2014) s02e03 Episode Script
Season 2, Episode 3
1 "Tonight at the home of variety .
.
and much more! Tonight, your host is Jimmy Carr!" (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) So, we've got a packed show.
- We've got music - Check.
- .
.
we've got comedy - Check.
- .
.
we've got dancing - Check.
- .
.
we've got variety.
- Check.
All great, but this is Sunday Night At The Palladium.
I really wanna make an entrance.
Put Hans Klok on and we'll think of something.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (DRAMATIC MUSIC) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (ETHEREAL MUSIC) "Please welcome Jimmy Carr!" (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Whoo! Ladies and gentlemen, Hans Klok! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Whoo! That is the smallest dressing room I've ever had.
The amazing Hans Klok there, everyone, all the way from Holland.
I know what you're thinking -- that is one impressive Klok.
That box was a bit claustrophobic.
I think ITV saved money by posting me here.
Good job you lot are in, otherwise Hans would have had to leave me with a neighbour.
It's an honour and a privilege for you lot to have me here tonight.
Sunday Night At The Palladium was famous for its variety acts.
In fact, there's so much diversity in this show tonight, UKIP are campaigning against it.
What an audience! Look at you! AUDIENCE: Whoo! Now, I've been told we've got police officers and the Fire Brigade all in here tonight.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It begs the question, what do you know that we don't know? - OK, so where are the firemen? - (CHEERING) Are you 100% sure you're firemen? You don't just have the uniform and work as strippers? Let's see if you're real firemen.
OK, without looking, where are the exits? There and there! You just pointed literally everywhere, that doesn't count.
It must be great being a fireman.
Cos you get the whole summer off, don't you? Because of the hosepipe ban.
We've got some police officers in.
Where are the police officers? - (CHEERING) - 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello! What (?) You can't not say "'Ello, 'ello, 'ello" to a group of police officers.
- Are you couples? - BOTH: Yeah! - Are you both police officers? - BOTH: Yeah! Did you meet at work? Did you take down her particulars? I've got a list of my favourite ever 999 call-outs, OK? The police are called for extraordinary reasons.
A woman in Kent called the police to report someone had stolen a snowman from her garden.
What are you meant to do? Arrest Spring? The fire brigade get called out for When you don't know who to call, you call the fire brigade.
A man in Wales rang the fire brigade because he was locked out of his laptop.
Well, it's about time we got everyone up on their feet.
Are you ready for a little dance on a Sunday night? (CHEERING) This band are Scottish soul.
It's a miracle they've not been deep-fried and served with chips.
With their classic hit Real Gone Kid, here's the fantastic Deacon Blue! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh Whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh Hey Cos I'd lose some pages And I've got all these books Just to find you some words Just to get some reward And I'd show you all the photographs Whoo-ooh-ooh - That ever got took - Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh And I'd play you old 45s That now mean nothing to me And you're a real gone kid And maybe now, baby Maybe now, baby - Maybe now, baby - Maybe now, baby Maybe now, baby Maybe now, baby I'll do what I should have did You're a real Gone Kid Whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh Whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh - Cried - Cried - Craved - Craved - Hoped - Hoped - Saved - Saved Threw away those souvenirs Souvenirs, souvenirs - I cried - Cried - Craved - Craved Hoped and I saved And I threw away those souvenirs, souvenirs, souvenirs You're a real gone kid Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh - And maybe now, baby - Maybe now, baby - Maybe now, baby - Maybe now, baby Maybe now, baby Maybe now, baby I'll do what I should have did You're a real Gone Kid Whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh Whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh You're a real Gone - Kid - I'll do what I should have did You're a real Gone kid I'll do what I should have did (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It's only Deacon Blue, everyone! Yay! Oh! What a fabulous start.
Thank you so much.
Well, that's all we've got time for in part one.
I know what you're thinking sat there at home -- "World-class singing and variety acts are all very well, but where should I go if I wanna buy car insurance or visit a supermarket?" I think I can help with that.
See you after the break.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Welcome back to Sunday Night At The Palladium! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Unless you're watching this on catch-up, in which case, welcome back to Tuesday Afternoon At The Palladium! - (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) - Shouldn't you be at work? It's lovely to be part of Sunday night TV.
I love Sunday night TV.
I used to love Last Of The Summer Wine, but now it's not on any more, because they sacked Clarkson.
I used to love Antiques Roadshow, but now it's not on any more because they sacked Clarkson.
Got loads of these.
They need a new host for Top Gear.
Well, if they're looking for someone who likes drinking rose wine, has anger management issues, and has crashed more than their fair share of Renault Clios, they could do worse than hiring my mum.
(APPLAUSE) Downton Abbey.
That's fantastic Sunday night telly, isn't it? - (CHEERING) - It's like Upstairs, Downstairs.
My girlfriend watches it downstairs while I watch something else upstairs.
- And Poldark, do you watch Poldark? - (CHEERING) The ladies love Poldark, don't they? He's the tastiest thing to come out of Cornwall since the Ginsters pasty.
Right, let's get on with it.
Our next guests are gonna perform a routine from their West End show, Dance 'Til Dawn.
There hasn't been a tango like this on TV since Claudia Winkleman overdid it with the fake tan.
It's Vincent and Flavia! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) JOSH GROBAN FEAT.
JOSHUA BELL: Mi Mancherai (Il Postino) Mi mancherai Se te ne vai Ora e per sempre Non so come vivrei E l'allegria Amica mia Va via con te Mi mancherai Mi mancherai Perche vai via? Perche l'amore In te se spento? Perche, perche? Non cambiera Niente lo so E dentro sento che Mi mancherai Amore mio Mi guardo e trovo Un vuoto dentro me E l'allegria Amica mia Va via con te (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Ladies and gentlemen, Vincent and Flavia! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) That was That was incredible.
Can I just say Vincent, you've got an incredible voice, but I didn't see your lips move at all.
It was all happening in my mind.
My imagination.
- Buonasera! - AUDIENCE: Buonasera! He's putting that on.
He's from Kent.
Obviously, that dancing was amazing, wasn't it? (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) But let's Let's be honest.
Most of us only ever dance at weddings.
If you tried to do that at a wedding, you'd you'd injure people, is what you'd do.
So can you show us all, maybe, some moves that we could all do the next time we're at a wedding, having a dance? - Sure.
- OK, so, everyone on your feet.
They're gonna show us some moves.
Let's watch them first.
Vincent and Flavia, how should we dance at a wedding to this? ABBA: Dancing Queen (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Well, that was I very much enjoyed seeing that coming towards me, but I might need a bit of a sit down.
Erm OK, so we've got it? OK, let's all go.
The Dancing Queen dance that they just did now! ABBA: Dancing Queen There's a lot of that.
Yeah, you're pretty good.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I think we've There's a lot of There was a lot of It felt like I really needed the bathroom.
That was the movement, "Oh, my God, I've gotta Now! Let me in, now!" OK, right.
Another classic wedding floor-filler, OK? How would you dance to this? DEXY'S MIDNIGH RUNNERS: Come On Eileen (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) No! No, that is not how you dance to Come On Eileen.
- Come on! - We all know how you dance to Come On Eileen.
Stick on Come On Eileen and I'll show you.
Come on, Eileen Oh, I swear what he means At this moment You mean everything That's how you dance to Come On Eileen! You just have to point.
Much easier.
Ladies and gentlemen, Vincent and Flavia! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Next up is a brilliant stand-up and one of the funniest new faces on TV.
I'm not saying he's got big teeth, but when he goes swimming, flags go up on the beach.
He's the hottest thing to come out of Lewisham since that car stereo I bought in the pub Please welcome Rob Beckett! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) - We all right? - AUDIENCE: Yes! I'm Rob, and I am an actual adult.
That is it.
I know I've got the face of a cartoon child, but no, this is This is me fully grown-up.
It's all I've got.
- It's nice in here, innit? - AUDIENCE: Yes! Bit posh here at the old Palladium.
I used to go to the theatre a little bit.
Just force of habit, I've snuck in my own sweets again.
I don't care if I'm performing or not.
I'm not spending four quid on a pack of Wine Gums.
- (ONE PERSON APPLAUDS) - Yeah, he knows.
Are you here with your missus? Is she on Wine Gums? And a drink and crisps? You thought it was a free night, didn't you? I'm getting better at posh places, cos my missus is quite posh.
I'm a bit working class, but she's quite posh.
I went to Proms In The Park.
It's basically loads of middle class people take over a park.
They all get flags, and then listen to classical music and have the biggest picnics I've ever seen.
It's like someone's dropped the Christmas shop on the floor.
I had an argument, as well, with the mother-in-law.
One of the songs that was coming on, she went, "Oh, you'll know this classical song.
" "I don't know it.
" She went, "It's Nestusarmus Dimiarmus.
" I don't know what it is.
I made that up.
It's something like that.
I went, "I don't know that song.
" She went, "You must know that song! It's a classic.
" I went, "I don't.
" She went, "You must!" "Well, I don't!" It got a bit tense.
Anyway, started singing It's only the Champions League music, innit? I'm like, "If you give me the proper names, I can get involved!" They were doing all the classics.
The Apprentice theme music Alton Towers advert, Felix the Cat Thing is, I've moved in with my missus.
It's exciting er we've got a landline.
Doing pretty well.
Didn't want it.
Just have to have it if you want Sky, don't you? Just happens, don't it? They ring up and go, "Oh, you get the internet, you get Sky, a free landline.
" It's not 1987, mate.
Will you chuck in a fax machine and a pager at the same time? But we've got this landline, and it rings! Normally it's just the injuries at work people.
Do you get this? All the time.
It's annoying, innit? Sometimes they ring up and go, "Oh, is that the head of the household?" I'm like, "I dunno.
We've not had that conversation.
It's the 21st century and I moisturise.
I don't know who's in charge.
I think the cat's in with a shout, if I'm honest with you.
" Or sometimes they go, "Hello, is that the occupier?" "Bit of an over-confident burglar, aren't I?" I had it the other day.
They ring up and she said, "Hello, it's Victoria.
" I went, "Oh, hello, Victoria.
" She went, "I'm ringing to see if you've had an injury at work.
" I was like, "Yes, I have! I've been waiting for your call.
I thought you'd never ring.
" She goes, "Tell me your injury.
" "Well, basically, I work in a supermarket, Victoria.
Chiller section, it's very cold.
I've got a fleece, no complaints there.
I'm in charge of yoghurts.
Things are going pretty well.
Anyway, I was putting the yoghurts on the shelf the other day, and as I put the yoghurts on the shelf, my head fell off.
" She went, "I think I need to get a supervisor.
" I said, "Good idea, Victoria.
" I've been put on hold.
I'm quite excited.
I'm up to four minutes, just on hold.
I've beat my personal best, and I'm listening to a bit of Italia '90, I'm loving it.
I'm still on hold, the phone goes again.
"This is Annabel.
" I went, "Oh, hello, Annabel!" She went erm "I'm the supervisor.
I'm a bit confused about your injury.
Can you give us a bit more information?" I went, "Of course, Annabel.
As I told Victoria, I work in a supermarket.
Bit chilly in the chiller section.
Got a fleece, no problem.
I'm putting the yoghurts on the shelf.
I'm doing my Petit Filous -- they're my faves.
And as I put my yoghurts on the shelf, my head fell off.
" She went, "Your head's fallen off? How are you alive?" "Every day's a struggle" Annabel starts asking some more interrogating-type questions.
She doesn't think my head's fallen off.
You know, she's a supervisor for a reason, isn't she? That half-day course in Solihull is paying off.
She went, "Well, if your head's fallen off .
.
how are we speaking on the phone?" And I went, "I'm on Bluetooth.
" You've been lovely.
I've been Rob Beckett.
Be lucky.
I'll see you soon.
Thank you.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Right, obviously it's a Sunday night, and that means most of us have got work tomorrow morning, right? AUDIENCE: Yes! Who feels like they're coming down with a terrible case of Lazyitis? AUDIENCE: Yes! OK, well, maybe I can help.
I've got a plan to get everyone a day off work.
All you've gotta do is text your boss.
I've got a couple of options for you.
I thought it might be fun.
Try and get you a day off work.
Do our best.
Get your phone.
Text your boss this message.
"Sorry I can't come in tomorrow.
I've got raging haemorrhoids.
" The great thing about that is no boss is asking any questions.
Now, if you haven't text your boss yet, but you're feeling brave, you could text this to your boss for a day off.
"Sorry I can't come in tomorrow.
I've got to go to a funeral.
It's mine, in about 40 years, and I don't wanna waste another moment of my life between now and then working for you.
" (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I'll check back in with you later on and see if anyone's managed to blag a day off.
Our next guest is Markus Feehily.
He used to be in Westlife.
Westlife sold over 50 million records.
That's one for every man, woman and child in Great Britain.
Or more accurately, five for every mum in Britain.
Ladies and gentlemen, with his new single, Love Is A Drug, Markus Feehily! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I'm lying in the gutter Looking up at the stars Can't keep running It's catching up on me now Makes me wonder If I'ma ever get out Yeah, I'm so gone That there's no saving me now And I feel such a fool Depending on you And I wanna scream Somebody let me out It's like I'm dying in a dream And I'm trying to wake up Crawling on my knees And I cannot get up Wish I would've known When enough was enough Need something for the pain But the killer is us And it keeps on pulling me When I wanna get up You keep on kicking me While you're holding me down Yeah, your love is a drug Yeah, yeah Your love is a drug Yeah, yeah I'm lying in your bed Looking up at the stars You got no mercy Yeah, you're holding my heart I try to erase you But you make it so hard Yeah, I would try anything Just to tear us apart And I feel such a fool Depending on you And I wanna scream Somebody let me out It's like I'm dying in a dream And I'm trying to wake up Crawling on my knees And I cannot get up But your love is a drug Yeah, yeah Your love is a drug Yeah, yeah Oh Oh, oh Oh Your love got me feelin' Your love, afraid I need it Your love, your love Your love, your love It's like I'm dying in a dream And I'm trying to wake up Crawling on my knees And I cannot get up Wish I would've known When enough was enough Need something for the pain But the killer is us And it keeps on pulling me When I wanna get up You keep on kicking me While you're holding me down Yeah, your love is a drug Yeah, yeah Your love is a drug Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Markus Feehily, everyone! Give it up! - (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) - Fabulous.
And of course, serious point -- love IS a drug, which is why you should only ever have love three times a day, with meals, and not whilst operating heavy machinery.
Join me after the break when we'll have the cast of Beautiful, The Carole King Musical, Rebecca Ferguson and more from the fabulous Deacon Blue! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Welcome back to Sunday Night At The Palladium! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Has anyone who text their boss got a message back? - WOMAN: Yes.
- What did you hear back? "Sorry, I cannot reply till Tuesday.
Phone won't be on so I won't have seen this and I've left work.
Smiley face.
" I like him! He sounds all right.
What have we got down here? Someone else had one back? - What did you get back? - "The only reason that you can have a day off is if you're replacing Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear.
" (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) That's fair enough.
- What do you do for a living, sir? - I work at a bingo club.
- You work in a bingo club?! - Yeah.
And was that was that your calling? Hey? Quick, though! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Do they still do the "two fat ladies", or is that a no? - No, no.
- What do they say now? "Two" - Just the numbers.
- ".
.
morbidly obese" "She's just got big bones" ".
.
88!" Next up, the entire cast and crew of Beautiful, The Carole King Musical are here, which means right now, at the Aldwych Theatre, there's a confused and disappointed audience staring at an empty stage.
Unlucky! Beautiful is all about the life of the singer-songwriter Carole King, and not, as I first thought, Bernard Matthews.
Take it away, the cast of Beautiful! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hey.
I did the lyrics.
See what you think.
OK.
Tonight you're mine Completely You give your love So sweetly Oh, gosh.
Tonight The light Of love is in your eyes But will you love me Tomorrow Wow! Gerry Keep goin'.
Is this a lasting Treasure? Or just a moment's Pleasure? Can I Believe The magic of your sighs? Will you still love me Tomorrow We should get The Shirelles to do this! Yes! We're going all the way with this.
Goffin and King! Tonight with words unspoken Unspoken You say that I'm the only one You say that I'm the only one But will my heart be broken? - When the night - When the night - Meets the morning - Meets the morning - Sun - Meets the morning sun - I'd like to know - Sha-la-la - That your love - Sha-la-la, sha-la - Is love I can - Sha-la-la, sha-la-la - Be sure of - Sha-la-la, sha-la-la So tell me now - And I won't ask again - And I won't ask Will you still love me Tomorrow? Will you still love me Tomorrow (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I feel the earth Move under my feet I feel the sky tumbling down I feel my heart start trembling Whenever you're around Oh, baby When I see your face Mellow as the month of May Oh, darling I can't stand it When you look at me That way I feel the earth Move under my feet I feel the sky tumbling down Tumbling down I feel the earth move Under my feet I feel the sky tumbling down Tumbling down Tumbling down Tumbling down Whoa-oh, yeah My world comes tumbling down (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Congratulations to Beautiful, The Carole King Musical on its richly-deserved success at the Olivier Awards! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Now, watching that makes me wish I had a bit of talent.
I mean, I'm a stand-up comic, but that's just telling jokes.
I was talking to Hans Klok backstage, and he's agreed to try and at least make me look talented.
Please welcome back the incredible Hans Klok! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) OK, you work your magic.
You make me look impressive.
Yeah Be careful where you put your "Hans" (!) Because his name is Hans.
You see how that joke works? He's hidden behind me because you can't show your Klok at this time on TV.
Careful with that cape, I don't want Ooh, hang on.
How am I doing that with a dislocated shoulder (?) Oh, I'm very good, aren't I? I'm very good.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I genuinely don't know how I did that.
Could've been worse.
Hans Klok could've been a ventriloquist.
Ooh, ooh.
Ooh, I think I've just found out why they call him Party Hans.
Hang on, if his hands are there, that Oh, never even mind.
Next up, we've got Liverpudlian singer Rebecca Ferguson.
(CHEERING) It's about time Liverpool produced some half-decent musicians.
With the With her latest hit, from her album of Billie Holiday classics, it's the brilliant Rebecca Ferguson with Get Happy! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Come on, let's go.
Hallelujah Hallelujah All you sinners gather round Hallelujah Hallelujah All you sinners I have found A land where the weary Forever are free Come you sinners, just follow me Forget your troubles and just get happy You gotta chase all your cares away Hallelujah, come on, get happy Get ready for the judgment day Sun is shining, come on, get happy The Lord is waiting to take your hand Shout hallelujah, come on, get happy We're going to the promised land We're heading 'cross the river Wash our sins away in the tide It's all so peaceful On the other side Forget your troubles and just get happy You gotta chase all your cares away Shout hallelujah, come on, get happy Get ready for the judgment day We are heading Across the river Wash our sins away in the tide It's all so peaceful On the other side Forget your troubles and just get happy You gotta chase all your cares away Shout hallelujah, come on, get happy Get ready for the judgment day Sing hallelujah Sing hallelujah Sing hallelujah Cos the Lord is waiting to take your hand Come on, come on, come on, get happy Come on, come on, get happy Come on, come on, come on, come on Get happy Sing hallelujah (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Thank you.
The amazing Rebecca Ferguson! Thank you.
Well, now it's time for our exciting new quiz, Star Of The Show.
AUDIENCE: Whoo! There are 2,200 people in this audience, and two of you are gonna battle it out for the chance to be the star of the show and win an amazing holiday.
AUDIENCE: Whoo! But who will it be? Well, when you came into the Palladium this evening, you were each given a wristband that lights up.
Let's see them.
We're gonna light them all up and then eliminate them until we're left with two people whose wristbands are still lit.
So let's turn down the lights because I'm about to turn you on.
(CHEERING) That's right, turning on 2,200 people! That breaks my previous record by 2,200.
OK, let's hold them up.
Turn them on.
Let's start eliminating those lights.
(CHEERING) I can see one there and one there.
- What's your name? - Jane.
- What, sorry? - Jane.
- OK, so what's your name? - Dion.
Dion? So, Dion, Jane, after the break you'll be fighting it out for that holiday, and there's more from Deacon Blue.
Don't go anywhere! Welcome back to Sunday Night At The Palladium.
Time for our new quiz, Star Of The Show! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) You're our red player.
What do you do, Jane? I'm a housewife and part-time beauty therapist.
- A part-time beauty therapist? - Yeah.
So, do you do the - Waxing? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Hoo! Watch out later.
That sounds exciting.
- Dion, what do you do? - I'm an events coordinator.
- An events coordinator.
- Yes.
Here's how the game works, OK? Our star is made up of five starlights.
I'm gonna ask as many questions as I can in 60 seconds, all related to tonight's show.
Get a question right, and a starlight will light up in your colour.
Get it wrong, and it lights up in your opponent's colour.
It's not who lights up the star first, it's whoever has the most starlights lit at the end of the 60 seconds who'll win and be playing for a magnificent prize, courtesy of icelolly.
com.
It's a luxury holiday to Mexico! AUDIENCE: Whoo! "Whoo" is right.
OK.
Let's play Star Of The Show.
Are you ready? OK, on your buzzers.
Your time starts now.
Markus Feehily was a member of which chart-topping -- - Westlife.
- Correct.
Rebecca's new album is inspired by Billie Holiday! Oh Blue.
Holiday, yeah.
You got that right, correct.
Complete Carole King's lyric, "You make me feel like a natural" - Blue.
- Woman.
Correct.
Who is taller, Vincent or Flavia? - Vincent.
- Correct.
Rob Beckett co-hosts a spin-off from which reality jungle show? - I'm A Celebrity.
- Correct.
Deacon Blue formed in 1985.
What anniversary do they celebrate this year? 40th? 30th.
Wrong.
What did Westlife fly without? - Wings.
- Right, correct.
Rebecca Ferguson and The Beatles are from which English city? - Liverpool.
- Correct.
Carole King performed for the current US President.
What is his name? - Blue.
- Obama.
Correct.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Oh! So close, but Dion's done it! She's gonna be answering questions for the trip to Mexico! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) You're playing for tonight's star prize! Jane, unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be, but thank you so much for being part of the show.
- At least I've been on the Palladium.
- You've been on at the Palladium! - Give Jane a round of applause! - Whoo! - A curtsy! (APPLAUSE) OK, Dion.
You're one question away from a trip to Mexico, courtesy of icelolly.
com.
Here's your question, for a trip to Mexico.
Which country is Hans Klok from? The Netherlands.
Correct! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And Hans Klok is here to give you your tickets! - Congratulations! - Oh, thank you, darling! Hans Klok has got tickets to Mexico and a playbill.
There's space there for your name, because you've been the Star Of The Show! Dion, everyone! Give her a big round of applause.
- (APPLAUSE) - Thank you.
What a night! This has been Sunday Night At The Palladium, and you've been watching Hans Klok, Vincent and Flavia, Rob Beckett, Markus Feehily, the cast of Beautiful, The Carole King Musical, Rebecca Ferguson, and to play us out with Win, the incredible Deacon Blue! Good night.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Can't we just go out? See a film Do something with the night Lark about Morning comes too early every day The good bits always seem to slip away Even though you think it's the last thing That's ever gonna happen, there's one thing You should know It's OK to want it Believe it Maybe now we need it We can win It's OK to dream it Feel it Maybe even steal it We can win When tomorrow comes, we're out of here Gonna pack some things Gonna be our year Don't tell a soul I told you so But I bet on us From the first time I saw you Ooh-ooh-ooh I knew we were gonna Win It's OK to want it Believe it Maybe now we need it We can win It's OK to dream it Feel it Maybe even steal it We can win Can we go the distance? Ooh-ooh-ooh Forget this world's against us Ooh-ooh-ooh We can win We can win (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
.
and much more! Tonight, your host is Jimmy Carr!" (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) So, we've got a packed show.
- We've got music - Check.
- .
.
we've got comedy - Check.
- .
.
we've got dancing - Check.
- .
.
we've got variety.
- Check.
All great, but this is Sunday Night At The Palladium.
I really wanna make an entrance.
Put Hans Klok on and we'll think of something.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (DRAMATIC MUSIC) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (ETHEREAL MUSIC) "Please welcome Jimmy Carr!" (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Whoo! Ladies and gentlemen, Hans Klok! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Whoo! That is the smallest dressing room I've ever had.
The amazing Hans Klok there, everyone, all the way from Holland.
I know what you're thinking -- that is one impressive Klok.
That box was a bit claustrophobic.
I think ITV saved money by posting me here.
Good job you lot are in, otherwise Hans would have had to leave me with a neighbour.
It's an honour and a privilege for you lot to have me here tonight.
Sunday Night At The Palladium was famous for its variety acts.
In fact, there's so much diversity in this show tonight, UKIP are campaigning against it.
What an audience! Look at you! AUDIENCE: Whoo! Now, I've been told we've got police officers and the Fire Brigade all in here tonight.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It begs the question, what do you know that we don't know? - OK, so where are the firemen? - (CHEERING) Are you 100% sure you're firemen? You don't just have the uniform and work as strippers? Let's see if you're real firemen.
OK, without looking, where are the exits? There and there! You just pointed literally everywhere, that doesn't count.
It must be great being a fireman.
Cos you get the whole summer off, don't you? Because of the hosepipe ban.
We've got some police officers in.
Where are the police officers? - (CHEERING) - 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello! What (?) You can't not say "'Ello, 'ello, 'ello" to a group of police officers.
- Are you couples? - BOTH: Yeah! - Are you both police officers? - BOTH: Yeah! Did you meet at work? Did you take down her particulars? I've got a list of my favourite ever 999 call-outs, OK? The police are called for extraordinary reasons.
A woman in Kent called the police to report someone had stolen a snowman from her garden.
What are you meant to do? Arrest Spring? The fire brigade get called out for When you don't know who to call, you call the fire brigade.
A man in Wales rang the fire brigade because he was locked out of his laptop.
Well, it's about time we got everyone up on their feet.
Are you ready for a little dance on a Sunday night? (CHEERING) This band are Scottish soul.
It's a miracle they've not been deep-fried and served with chips.
With their classic hit Real Gone Kid, here's the fantastic Deacon Blue! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh Whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh Hey Cos I'd lose some pages And I've got all these books Just to find you some words Just to get some reward And I'd show you all the photographs Whoo-ooh-ooh - That ever got took - Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh And I'd play you old 45s That now mean nothing to me And you're a real gone kid And maybe now, baby Maybe now, baby - Maybe now, baby - Maybe now, baby Maybe now, baby Maybe now, baby I'll do what I should have did You're a real Gone Kid Whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh Whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh - Cried - Cried - Craved - Craved - Hoped - Hoped - Saved - Saved Threw away those souvenirs Souvenirs, souvenirs - I cried - Cried - Craved - Craved Hoped and I saved And I threw away those souvenirs, souvenirs, souvenirs You're a real gone kid Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh - And maybe now, baby - Maybe now, baby - Maybe now, baby - Maybe now, baby Maybe now, baby Maybe now, baby I'll do what I should have did You're a real Gone Kid Whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh Whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh You're a real Gone - Kid - I'll do what I should have did You're a real Gone kid I'll do what I should have did (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It's only Deacon Blue, everyone! Yay! Oh! What a fabulous start.
Thank you so much.
Well, that's all we've got time for in part one.
I know what you're thinking sat there at home -- "World-class singing and variety acts are all very well, but where should I go if I wanna buy car insurance or visit a supermarket?" I think I can help with that.
See you after the break.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Welcome back to Sunday Night At The Palladium! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Unless you're watching this on catch-up, in which case, welcome back to Tuesday Afternoon At The Palladium! - (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) - Shouldn't you be at work? It's lovely to be part of Sunday night TV.
I love Sunday night TV.
I used to love Last Of The Summer Wine, but now it's not on any more, because they sacked Clarkson.
I used to love Antiques Roadshow, but now it's not on any more because they sacked Clarkson.
Got loads of these.
They need a new host for Top Gear.
Well, if they're looking for someone who likes drinking rose wine, has anger management issues, and has crashed more than their fair share of Renault Clios, they could do worse than hiring my mum.
(APPLAUSE) Downton Abbey.
That's fantastic Sunday night telly, isn't it? - (CHEERING) - It's like Upstairs, Downstairs.
My girlfriend watches it downstairs while I watch something else upstairs.
- And Poldark, do you watch Poldark? - (CHEERING) The ladies love Poldark, don't they? He's the tastiest thing to come out of Cornwall since the Ginsters pasty.
Right, let's get on with it.
Our next guests are gonna perform a routine from their West End show, Dance 'Til Dawn.
There hasn't been a tango like this on TV since Claudia Winkleman overdid it with the fake tan.
It's Vincent and Flavia! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) JOSH GROBAN FEAT.
JOSHUA BELL: Mi Mancherai (Il Postino) Mi mancherai Se te ne vai Ora e per sempre Non so come vivrei E l'allegria Amica mia Va via con te Mi mancherai Mi mancherai Perche vai via? Perche l'amore In te se spento? Perche, perche? Non cambiera Niente lo so E dentro sento che Mi mancherai Amore mio Mi guardo e trovo Un vuoto dentro me E l'allegria Amica mia Va via con te (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Ladies and gentlemen, Vincent and Flavia! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) That was That was incredible.
Can I just say Vincent, you've got an incredible voice, but I didn't see your lips move at all.
It was all happening in my mind.
My imagination.
- Buonasera! - AUDIENCE: Buonasera! He's putting that on.
He's from Kent.
Obviously, that dancing was amazing, wasn't it? (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) But let's Let's be honest.
Most of us only ever dance at weddings.
If you tried to do that at a wedding, you'd you'd injure people, is what you'd do.
So can you show us all, maybe, some moves that we could all do the next time we're at a wedding, having a dance? - Sure.
- OK, so, everyone on your feet.
They're gonna show us some moves.
Let's watch them first.
Vincent and Flavia, how should we dance at a wedding to this? ABBA: Dancing Queen (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Well, that was I very much enjoyed seeing that coming towards me, but I might need a bit of a sit down.
Erm OK, so we've got it? OK, let's all go.
The Dancing Queen dance that they just did now! ABBA: Dancing Queen There's a lot of that.
Yeah, you're pretty good.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I think we've There's a lot of There was a lot of It felt like I really needed the bathroom.
That was the movement, "Oh, my God, I've gotta Now! Let me in, now!" OK, right.
Another classic wedding floor-filler, OK? How would you dance to this? DEXY'S MIDNIGH RUNNERS: Come On Eileen (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) No! No, that is not how you dance to Come On Eileen.
- Come on! - We all know how you dance to Come On Eileen.
Stick on Come On Eileen and I'll show you.
Come on, Eileen Oh, I swear what he means At this moment You mean everything That's how you dance to Come On Eileen! You just have to point.
Much easier.
Ladies and gentlemen, Vincent and Flavia! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Next up is a brilliant stand-up and one of the funniest new faces on TV.
I'm not saying he's got big teeth, but when he goes swimming, flags go up on the beach.
He's the hottest thing to come out of Lewisham since that car stereo I bought in the pub Please welcome Rob Beckett! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) - We all right? - AUDIENCE: Yes! I'm Rob, and I am an actual adult.
That is it.
I know I've got the face of a cartoon child, but no, this is This is me fully grown-up.
It's all I've got.
- It's nice in here, innit? - AUDIENCE: Yes! Bit posh here at the old Palladium.
I used to go to the theatre a little bit.
Just force of habit, I've snuck in my own sweets again.
I don't care if I'm performing or not.
I'm not spending four quid on a pack of Wine Gums.
- (ONE PERSON APPLAUDS) - Yeah, he knows.
Are you here with your missus? Is she on Wine Gums? And a drink and crisps? You thought it was a free night, didn't you? I'm getting better at posh places, cos my missus is quite posh.
I'm a bit working class, but she's quite posh.
I went to Proms In The Park.
It's basically loads of middle class people take over a park.
They all get flags, and then listen to classical music and have the biggest picnics I've ever seen.
It's like someone's dropped the Christmas shop on the floor.
I had an argument, as well, with the mother-in-law.
One of the songs that was coming on, she went, "Oh, you'll know this classical song.
" "I don't know it.
" She went, "It's Nestusarmus Dimiarmus.
" I don't know what it is.
I made that up.
It's something like that.
I went, "I don't know that song.
" She went, "You must know that song! It's a classic.
" I went, "I don't.
" She went, "You must!" "Well, I don't!" It got a bit tense.
Anyway, started singing It's only the Champions League music, innit? I'm like, "If you give me the proper names, I can get involved!" They were doing all the classics.
The Apprentice theme music Alton Towers advert, Felix the Cat Thing is, I've moved in with my missus.
It's exciting er we've got a landline.
Doing pretty well.
Didn't want it.
Just have to have it if you want Sky, don't you? Just happens, don't it? They ring up and go, "Oh, you get the internet, you get Sky, a free landline.
" It's not 1987, mate.
Will you chuck in a fax machine and a pager at the same time? But we've got this landline, and it rings! Normally it's just the injuries at work people.
Do you get this? All the time.
It's annoying, innit? Sometimes they ring up and go, "Oh, is that the head of the household?" I'm like, "I dunno.
We've not had that conversation.
It's the 21st century and I moisturise.
I don't know who's in charge.
I think the cat's in with a shout, if I'm honest with you.
" Or sometimes they go, "Hello, is that the occupier?" "Bit of an over-confident burglar, aren't I?" I had it the other day.
They ring up and she said, "Hello, it's Victoria.
" I went, "Oh, hello, Victoria.
" She went, "I'm ringing to see if you've had an injury at work.
" I was like, "Yes, I have! I've been waiting for your call.
I thought you'd never ring.
" She goes, "Tell me your injury.
" "Well, basically, I work in a supermarket, Victoria.
Chiller section, it's very cold.
I've got a fleece, no complaints there.
I'm in charge of yoghurts.
Things are going pretty well.
Anyway, I was putting the yoghurts on the shelf the other day, and as I put the yoghurts on the shelf, my head fell off.
" She went, "I think I need to get a supervisor.
" I said, "Good idea, Victoria.
" I've been put on hold.
I'm quite excited.
I'm up to four minutes, just on hold.
I've beat my personal best, and I'm listening to a bit of Italia '90, I'm loving it.
I'm still on hold, the phone goes again.
"This is Annabel.
" I went, "Oh, hello, Annabel!" She went erm "I'm the supervisor.
I'm a bit confused about your injury.
Can you give us a bit more information?" I went, "Of course, Annabel.
As I told Victoria, I work in a supermarket.
Bit chilly in the chiller section.
Got a fleece, no problem.
I'm putting the yoghurts on the shelf.
I'm doing my Petit Filous -- they're my faves.
And as I put my yoghurts on the shelf, my head fell off.
" She went, "Your head's fallen off? How are you alive?" "Every day's a struggle" Annabel starts asking some more interrogating-type questions.
She doesn't think my head's fallen off.
You know, she's a supervisor for a reason, isn't she? That half-day course in Solihull is paying off.
She went, "Well, if your head's fallen off .
.
how are we speaking on the phone?" And I went, "I'm on Bluetooth.
" You've been lovely.
I've been Rob Beckett.
Be lucky.
I'll see you soon.
Thank you.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Right, obviously it's a Sunday night, and that means most of us have got work tomorrow morning, right? AUDIENCE: Yes! Who feels like they're coming down with a terrible case of Lazyitis? AUDIENCE: Yes! OK, well, maybe I can help.
I've got a plan to get everyone a day off work.
All you've gotta do is text your boss.
I've got a couple of options for you.
I thought it might be fun.
Try and get you a day off work.
Do our best.
Get your phone.
Text your boss this message.
"Sorry I can't come in tomorrow.
I've got raging haemorrhoids.
" The great thing about that is no boss is asking any questions.
Now, if you haven't text your boss yet, but you're feeling brave, you could text this to your boss for a day off.
"Sorry I can't come in tomorrow.
I've got to go to a funeral.
It's mine, in about 40 years, and I don't wanna waste another moment of my life between now and then working for you.
" (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I'll check back in with you later on and see if anyone's managed to blag a day off.
Our next guest is Markus Feehily.
He used to be in Westlife.
Westlife sold over 50 million records.
That's one for every man, woman and child in Great Britain.
Or more accurately, five for every mum in Britain.
Ladies and gentlemen, with his new single, Love Is A Drug, Markus Feehily! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I'm lying in the gutter Looking up at the stars Can't keep running It's catching up on me now Makes me wonder If I'ma ever get out Yeah, I'm so gone That there's no saving me now And I feel such a fool Depending on you And I wanna scream Somebody let me out It's like I'm dying in a dream And I'm trying to wake up Crawling on my knees And I cannot get up Wish I would've known When enough was enough Need something for the pain But the killer is us And it keeps on pulling me When I wanna get up You keep on kicking me While you're holding me down Yeah, your love is a drug Yeah, yeah Your love is a drug Yeah, yeah I'm lying in your bed Looking up at the stars You got no mercy Yeah, you're holding my heart I try to erase you But you make it so hard Yeah, I would try anything Just to tear us apart And I feel such a fool Depending on you And I wanna scream Somebody let me out It's like I'm dying in a dream And I'm trying to wake up Crawling on my knees And I cannot get up But your love is a drug Yeah, yeah Your love is a drug Yeah, yeah Oh Oh, oh Oh Your love got me feelin' Your love, afraid I need it Your love, your love Your love, your love It's like I'm dying in a dream And I'm trying to wake up Crawling on my knees And I cannot get up Wish I would've known When enough was enough Need something for the pain But the killer is us And it keeps on pulling me When I wanna get up You keep on kicking me While you're holding me down Yeah, your love is a drug Yeah, yeah Your love is a drug Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Markus Feehily, everyone! Give it up! - (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) - Fabulous.
And of course, serious point -- love IS a drug, which is why you should only ever have love three times a day, with meals, and not whilst operating heavy machinery.
Join me after the break when we'll have the cast of Beautiful, The Carole King Musical, Rebecca Ferguson and more from the fabulous Deacon Blue! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Welcome back to Sunday Night At The Palladium! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Has anyone who text their boss got a message back? - WOMAN: Yes.
- What did you hear back? "Sorry, I cannot reply till Tuesday.
Phone won't be on so I won't have seen this and I've left work.
Smiley face.
" I like him! He sounds all right.
What have we got down here? Someone else had one back? - What did you get back? - "The only reason that you can have a day off is if you're replacing Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear.
" (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) That's fair enough.
- What do you do for a living, sir? - I work at a bingo club.
- You work in a bingo club?! - Yeah.
And was that was that your calling? Hey? Quick, though! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Do they still do the "two fat ladies", or is that a no? - No, no.
- What do they say now? "Two" - Just the numbers.
- ".
.
morbidly obese" "She's just got big bones" ".
.
88!" Next up, the entire cast and crew of Beautiful, The Carole King Musical are here, which means right now, at the Aldwych Theatre, there's a confused and disappointed audience staring at an empty stage.
Unlucky! Beautiful is all about the life of the singer-songwriter Carole King, and not, as I first thought, Bernard Matthews.
Take it away, the cast of Beautiful! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hey.
I did the lyrics.
See what you think.
OK.
Tonight you're mine Completely You give your love So sweetly Oh, gosh.
Tonight The light Of love is in your eyes But will you love me Tomorrow Wow! Gerry Keep goin'.
Is this a lasting Treasure? Or just a moment's Pleasure? Can I Believe The magic of your sighs? Will you still love me Tomorrow We should get The Shirelles to do this! Yes! We're going all the way with this.
Goffin and King! Tonight with words unspoken Unspoken You say that I'm the only one You say that I'm the only one But will my heart be broken? - When the night - When the night - Meets the morning - Meets the morning - Sun - Meets the morning sun - I'd like to know - Sha-la-la - That your love - Sha-la-la, sha-la - Is love I can - Sha-la-la, sha-la-la - Be sure of - Sha-la-la, sha-la-la So tell me now - And I won't ask again - And I won't ask Will you still love me Tomorrow? Will you still love me Tomorrow (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I feel the earth Move under my feet I feel the sky tumbling down I feel my heart start trembling Whenever you're around Oh, baby When I see your face Mellow as the month of May Oh, darling I can't stand it When you look at me That way I feel the earth Move under my feet I feel the sky tumbling down Tumbling down I feel the earth move Under my feet I feel the sky tumbling down Tumbling down Tumbling down Tumbling down Whoa-oh, yeah My world comes tumbling down (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Congratulations to Beautiful, The Carole King Musical on its richly-deserved success at the Olivier Awards! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Now, watching that makes me wish I had a bit of talent.
I mean, I'm a stand-up comic, but that's just telling jokes.
I was talking to Hans Klok backstage, and he's agreed to try and at least make me look talented.
Please welcome back the incredible Hans Klok! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) OK, you work your magic.
You make me look impressive.
Yeah Be careful where you put your "Hans" (!) Because his name is Hans.
You see how that joke works? He's hidden behind me because you can't show your Klok at this time on TV.
Careful with that cape, I don't want Ooh, hang on.
How am I doing that with a dislocated shoulder (?) Oh, I'm very good, aren't I? I'm very good.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I genuinely don't know how I did that.
Could've been worse.
Hans Klok could've been a ventriloquist.
Ooh, ooh.
Ooh, I think I've just found out why they call him Party Hans.
Hang on, if his hands are there, that Oh, never even mind.
Next up, we've got Liverpudlian singer Rebecca Ferguson.
(CHEERING) It's about time Liverpool produced some half-decent musicians.
With the With her latest hit, from her album of Billie Holiday classics, it's the brilliant Rebecca Ferguson with Get Happy! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Come on, let's go.
Hallelujah Hallelujah All you sinners gather round Hallelujah Hallelujah All you sinners I have found A land where the weary Forever are free Come you sinners, just follow me Forget your troubles and just get happy You gotta chase all your cares away Hallelujah, come on, get happy Get ready for the judgment day Sun is shining, come on, get happy The Lord is waiting to take your hand Shout hallelujah, come on, get happy We're going to the promised land We're heading 'cross the river Wash our sins away in the tide It's all so peaceful On the other side Forget your troubles and just get happy You gotta chase all your cares away Shout hallelujah, come on, get happy Get ready for the judgment day We are heading Across the river Wash our sins away in the tide It's all so peaceful On the other side Forget your troubles and just get happy You gotta chase all your cares away Shout hallelujah, come on, get happy Get ready for the judgment day Sing hallelujah Sing hallelujah Sing hallelujah Cos the Lord is waiting to take your hand Come on, come on, come on, get happy Come on, come on, get happy Come on, come on, come on, come on Get happy Sing hallelujah (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Thank you.
The amazing Rebecca Ferguson! Thank you.
Well, now it's time for our exciting new quiz, Star Of The Show.
AUDIENCE: Whoo! There are 2,200 people in this audience, and two of you are gonna battle it out for the chance to be the star of the show and win an amazing holiday.
AUDIENCE: Whoo! But who will it be? Well, when you came into the Palladium this evening, you were each given a wristband that lights up.
Let's see them.
We're gonna light them all up and then eliminate them until we're left with two people whose wristbands are still lit.
So let's turn down the lights because I'm about to turn you on.
(CHEERING) That's right, turning on 2,200 people! That breaks my previous record by 2,200.
OK, let's hold them up.
Turn them on.
Let's start eliminating those lights.
(CHEERING) I can see one there and one there.
- What's your name? - Jane.
- What, sorry? - Jane.
- OK, so what's your name? - Dion.
Dion? So, Dion, Jane, after the break you'll be fighting it out for that holiday, and there's more from Deacon Blue.
Don't go anywhere! Welcome back to Sunday Night At The Palladium.
Time for our new quiz, Star Of The Show! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) You're our red player.
What do you do, Jane? I'm a housewife and part-time beauty therapist.
- A part-time beauty therapist? - Yeah.
So, do you do the - Waxing? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Hoo! Watch out later.
That sounds exciting.
- Dion, what do you do? - I'm an events coordinator.
- An events coordinator.
- Yes.
Here's how the game works, OK? Our star is made up of five starlights.
I'm gonna ask as many questions as I can in 60 seconds, all related to tonight's show.
Get a question right, and a starlight will light up in your colour.
Get it wrong, and it lights up in your opponent's colour.
It's not who lights up the star first, it's whoever has the most starlights lit at the end of the 60 seconds who'll win and be playing for a magnificent prize, courtesy of icelolly.
com.
It's a luxury holiday to Mexico! AUDIENCE: Whoo! "Whoo" is right.
OK.
Let's play Star Of The Show.
Are you ready? OK, on your buzzers.
Your time starts now.
Markus Feehily was a member of which chart-topping -- - Westlife.
- Correct.
Rebecca's new album is inspired by Billie Holiday! Oh Blue.
Holiday, yeah.
You got that right, correct.
Complete Carole King's lyric, "You make me feel like a natural" - Blue.
- Woman.
Correct.
Who is taller, Vincent or Flavia? - Vincent.
- Correct.
Rob Beckett co-hosts a spin-off from which reality jungle show? - I'm A Celebrity.
- Correct.
Deacon Blue formed in 1985.
What anniversary do they celebrate this year? 40th? 30th.
Wrong.
What did Westlife fly without? - Wings.
- Right, correct.
Rebecca Ferguson and The Beatles are from which English city? - Liverpool.
- Correct.
Carole King performed for the current US President.
What is his name? - Blue.
- Obama.
Correct.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Oh! So close, but Dion's done it! She's gonna be answering questions for the trip to Mexico! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) You're playing for tonight's star prize! Jane, unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be, but thank you so much for being part of the show.
- At least I've been on the Palladium.
- You've been on at the Palladium! - Give Jane a round of applause! - Whoo! - A curtsy! (APPLAUSE) OK, Dion.
You're one question away from a trip to Mexico, courtesy of icelolly.
com.
Here's your question, for a trip to Mexico.
Which country is Hans Klok from? The Netherlands.
Correct! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And Hans Klok is here to give you your tickets! - Congratulations! - Oh, thank you, darling! Hans Klok has got tickets to Mexico and a playbill.
There's space there for your name, because you've been the Star Of The Show! Dion, everyone! Give her a big round of applause.
- (APPLAUSE) - Thank you.
What a night! This has been Sunday Night At The Palladium, and you've been watching Hans Klok, Vincent and Flavia, Rob Beckett, Markus Feehily, the cast of Beautiful, The Carole King Musical, Rebecca Ferguson, and to play us out with Win, the incredible Deacon Blue! Good night.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Can't we just go out? See a film Do something with the night Lark about Morning comes too early every day The good bits always seem to slip away Even though you think it's the last thing That's ever gonna happen, there's one thing You should know It's OK to want it Believe it Maybe now we need it We can win It's OK to dream it Feel it Maybe even steal it We can win When tomorrow comes, we're out of here Gonna pack some things Gonna be our year Don't tell a soul I told you so But I bet on us From the first time I saw you Ooh-ooh-ooh I knew we were gonna Win It's OK to want it Believe it Maybe now we need it We can win It's OK to dream it Feel it Maybe even steal it We can win Can we go the distance? Ooh-ooh-ooh Forget this world's against us Ooh-ooh-ooh We can win We can win (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)