Swedish Dicks (2016) s02e02 Episode Script

Dial M for Medium

I know you stopped being my manager when I stopped being a DJ, but I don't understand when things got this bad.
When did I become an illegal immigrant? You came out here for a music festival.
I got you a three-month work visa, and that was two years ago.
Yeah, but I I got a job! I'm a partner in a small business.
Well, then your business is fucked, too.
You want to go camping? Yeah, camping, like when you were a little girl.
Like when I was a little girl? Yeah, you remember? Yeah, I totally remember, when that never, ever happened.
- What? - Yeah.
Hey! - Hey! - How are you? - Great.
- Eve, this is my dad.
Dad, this is Eve.
Nice to meet you, Mr.
- You call me Ingmar.
- Okay, Mr.
Ingmar Andersson.
- Yeah.
- Let's go upstairs.
If you get caught without papers now, they can shut down your employer and send you back on the slow boat to Sweden.
Hold I have I have to go by boat? Always happy to help friends of Sarah.
- I got to go.
- He's trying to make up for all the years he was a bad dad.
Well, welcome.
He even invited me to go camping.
- Oh, I love camping.
- Good morning.
Oh, hey, Axel.
Uh, this is Eve.
- Hi.
- Hi, nice to meet you.
You look really familiar.
Have we met before? I don't think so.
People tell me I have one of those faces.
You know, plain, forgettable.
I actually think your face is pretty cute.
Really? Like, puppy cute, or tougher, like a puppy wearing leather? All right, all right.
Let's just move along.
- Yeah, right.
- Right, sorry.
So, I'm here because of my mother.
She's seeing a medium.
- A medium? - Yeah.
She says that she can communicate with the dead.
I need you to prove that she's full of shit.
Swedish Dicks 2x02 "Dial M for Medium" Dec 25, 2017 So, at first I didn't see any harm in it, because my father passed away a year ago, and my mom thinks Madame Roux can communicate with him.
Sounds like she wants closure.
Right, but after a few months, her savings account is drained, she's stopped paying her bills, and she's giving all of her money to this woman.
Ugh! I want to just sue her ass! - Yeah.
- But technically, she's not doing anything illegal.
That's the problem.
So I need you guys to prove that Madame Roux is a fraud.
Well, I guess we can work with You're a DJ! Yes! Oh, my gosh, that was killing me! Oh, you were so good.
I saw you spin two summers ago at Lost Desert.
- Oh! - He's incredible.
He's so good.
The acoustic profile in that venue is amazing.
Yes! I mean, most EDM fans only talk about bass.
But to hear the complexities? I wasn't sober, so maybe that helped.
I don't I don't know.
Oh, hey, guys, uh, me.
Meeting, 10:00.
So are we going to take Eve's case or what? I do want to take the case.
We will take the case.
Yeah, sure.
Well, of course we will take the case.
Do you believe in mediums? You mean liars? No, I mean, how can we be sure Madame Roux isn't the real deal? I mean, many cultures believe in some kind of communication with the other side.
Yeah, but they're wrong.
Mediums, psychics, fortune-tellers, they're all a bunch of liars.
Why are you so hostile to the supernatural? Because I used to be a stuntman.
Almost died a dozen times.
I never saw any magical things.
I just saw darkness.
Yeah, but still, isn't there the possibility that? No.
Well, let's just go in with an open mind.
Whatever you say.
So, what can I do for you boys? Well, you tell me.
You're the psychic.
Ingmar, be nice.
I'm a medium, not a psychic, Ingmar.
How did she know your name? Because you told me, silly.
Don't be naive.
No, I understand this.
People are sometimes skeptical.
They fear things they don't understand.
And so they choose not to believe in anything at all.
But that's okay.
I just ask that you keep your heart open to any kind of surprise that may happen.
So, can I contact somebody for you today? What's the price? You're funny.
There's no price.
The dead people would never speak to me if they knew I was charging you.
It's free, just like your tea.
But, then how do you make money? Oh, well, if you feel that I did some meaningful service for you, then you can donate something.
Or if you don't, then you don't need to.
So who would you like to contact? - What about Tex? - No.
- No, yeah, please.
- What? Could you please contact a man called Tex Johnson? - Okay.
- And tell him I'm really sorry for murdering him.
Ooh! Don't worry.
It was self-defense.
Close your eyes, please.
Please, Ingmar.
Thank you.
Tex! Oh, Tex, there he oh, there he is! He's wounded.
Yeah, because I shot him.
Oh, Tex has been shot! No, Tex! Tex, come back! Oh no, please.
Oh, come back.
Tex, no, please.
He's gone.
What a fraud! But what if she's right? Do you believe all that crap? How can you be so naive? My mom says it's because I see the best in people.
Well, you better open up your eyes, because she's a con man.
Con "man"? Con lady! And she thinks she can get away with this.
You know what? I'm going to go full dick on her! Take it easy, all right? There's still a lot more to figure out.
Like if she doesn't charge, why is this a problem? I should talk to Eve's mom.
Try to figure out what's going on.
You just want to go because Eve might be there.
- Wha? - Yeah.
- Hey! - Hey.
Glad you came.
I'm I'm here for the case, Eve.
So it's strictly business.
But I yeah, how are things? My mom is in the backyard, and she cannot know - that I hired you.
- No problem.
As a detective, I've become a master of deception.
Hey, Mom.
Ah! This is, uh, my boyfriend.
- Oh! Hi.
- Axel.
Oh! Ma'am, such an honor to meet you.
Your daughter is really special to me.
I love the way she smells? You know, your father told me you'd be falling in love soon, Eve.
Did Madame Roux say that, Mom? Yes.
She's an amazing woman.
She can contact the dead.
But, of course, Eve hates when I talk like this.
Yeah, it's a scam.
Eve, if you don't like it, then go.
She's not a believer.
It's sad.
To close your mind off to even the possibility that the universe is more than what you see.
Oh, the things Madame Roux has shown me.
What what do you mean? She's opened up the gates of the physical plane for me, created a passage to the other side where I could see my Harold again.
He pulled me into his arms, and he held me.
I felt the warmth of his Are you crying? No, you're crying.
I'm s-sorry.
It's like she's under a spell.
Yeah, well, don't worry.
Me and Ingmar are going to get to the bottom of this.
I appreciate your hard work.
If you are half as good a detective as you were a DJ, I'm in good hands.
Well, maybe we should get together for some, uh, follow-up questions tonight.
- Tonight? - For some follow-up questions.
- Good.
- Good.
What? Just tell me everything again, from the beginning.
Um, so Sorry, I feel like I've already said all this.
It's just I-I don't want to miss any clues.
So, let's get down to business.
What is your astrological sign? Oh, uh, Aries.
Aries, like Hitler.
And I'm sure a lot of other people, too.
I'm not saying that you're like - Hitler.
- The Fuhrer.
No, I'm not.
I'm sorry.
Feel like this isn't working right.
No, this is going fine.
You're very sweet.
I know that this is a date, though.
So, I want to tell you something, but you have to promise not to judge me.
- I would never judge you.
- Okay.
So that night that I saw you spin, I took, um just, like, a teeny little bit of acid.
And I was watching you from the crowd, just, you know, in command of it all.
And it was such an arousing experience, you know? Like, the heat, and the, like, thump, thump, thump of the bass, you know? It was just really, like, intense.
And I was on the dance floor with this guy that I was seeing.
And we made love on the dance floor.
But the entire time, I was looking at you.
So it was like we were making love.
I'm going to order food.
More than what we have right now? No, this is enough.
We have food, yeah.
Very fast here.
Oh, oh, with the pen.
What is I'm glad I told you that.
I feel very vulnerable right now.
Ingmar? What are you doing? I know why you're here, honey, and I get it.
You were upset because I couldn't keep hold of your friend.
It's okay.
Yeah, I'm a little sensitive to people telling me that Tex is dead, because it brings back some bad memories from when he wasn't dead.
I know, I couldn't get it out of my head either.
I was just thinking about it over and over.
Why couldn't I hold on to Tex? Because you're a fraud? No, Ingmar, you're silly.
It's because of your friend.
He was stubborn, right? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
He was mysterious? Um, was mysterious? I'm telling you, I know that's right.
That's what I'm saying.
I couldn't hold on to Tex, because he didn't want to be held onto.
- Yeah.
- If I had something of his, something I could just put my energy into.
This jacket.
He gave this to me.
- Well, give it to me! - Yeah.
- You ready? - What? Don't be afraid.
Ingmar! Tex? I'm sorry.
Tex? I need to tell you talk to me.
What do you want to tell me? Ingmar! Ingmar, listen.
I'm listening! I'm sorry.
Oh! What? Where did he go? Bring him back.
- No, no, I - Bring him back! He's a stubborn spirit.
I can't.
- I need something stronger.
- Like what? Well, okay, there are these candles.
They're made out of Bolivian salt, and the ancient Mayans used to use them.
But they're really expensive.
- How much? - Three hundred.
What are you doing? It's tricky to explain, because I think I saw Tex.
Where? Is he alive? No! At Madame Roux's.
The world was opening up, like a kaleidoscope.
A kaleidoscope? Kaleidoscope, yeah, very much.
Wait, so you believe in her? No.
I just told her so, because she thinks she's making me see Tex.
It's part of my plan.
And you have to give her cash? I don't have time to stand here and explain everything to you, because you don't believe in it.
Hey, why don't you go to Eve's mom, work the case from that end? Wow! Okay.
Where is he going in such a hurry? I'm not sure.
I'm worried about him.
- Why are you worried about him? - Because he's my partner.
I know you're hiding something from him, Axel.
What you talking about on the phone the other day, hmm? That was nothing.
I make you talk.
Guilty always talk.
You lying about papers? No.
- Immigration? - Shh! I knew it! You are illegal, huh? - What are you going to do? - I don't know! But I can't deal with this right now.
I have to figure out why Ingmar is acting so weird.
Immigration problems like herpes, Axel.
That shit never goes away.
Excuse me.
Mrs Eve's mother? I'm a bit old-fashioned, and I just want to make sure that me seeing Eve is okay with your husband.
Yes, of course.
I should take you to Madame Roux's.
Great idea! But it'll cost us.
Why? Does she charge you? No, but the more you contact someone, the harder it is to get them out again.
She just needs some powerful amulets or candles.
And how much will that cost? Just a few thousand dollars.
Excuse me, pardon me.
Oh, sorry.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Axel? Axel Hi.
We need to talk.
What are you doing here? It's an emergency.
I'm worried about Ingmar.
He's talking funny.
I know, right? He even asked me if I wanted to go camping.
- What is that? - No.
He said something to me today about "the world opening up like a kaleidoscope"? My mother says that.
And she was having really vivid dreams, like seeing bright colors.
Ooh, like an acid trip.
What, you think you're the only one who had fun in college? - Get out of here.
- No, wait.
That would make sense.
If she's giving them drugs, that would explain why she thinks Madame Roux's abilities are real.
But I mean, then they'd just be tripping out all the time.
No, she could be micro-dosing them.
It's when you take a little drop of acid and you put it into a drink.
And the first time, you don't feel anything.
And the second time, you feel a little bit more.
And then after a while, you're just tripping all the time.
Acid is actually it's great.
I think we all need to do that.
Ingmar, try to visualize Tex - No.
- into reality, okay? See him.
See him, right in front of you.
Ingmar! What am I doing here? I-I-I-I think I summoned you Oh.
You said you wanted to tell me something yesterday.
There's so much you still don't understand.
I'm so sorry Axel killed you.
He feels really bad about it.
Nah, tell the little fella I understand.
But you, Ingmar, you need to know that something He's gone.
What happened? I mean, he's - Can you bring him back? - Nope.
I'm sorry, I can't.
This candle you got me? It's impure.
The salt is impure.
Now I'm going to try to get you a refund I don't care! I don't care.
I just want to see Tex again.
Well, if you want to see Tex, we're going to have to go deeper.
There is an ancient Tibetan death amulet.
How much? Four thousand dollars.
Dad, she's poisoning your tea.
That's why you're seeing visions.
I don't know what you're talking about.
This is not for Madame Roux.
This is for me.
I'm going shopping.
Something you want from the shop? You're talking nonsense, Ingmar.
I'm not talking nonsense.
I saw him! Stop it! Whoa! I've wanted to do that for, like, 20 years.
I'm sorry, Ingmar, but you need to snap out of it.
I saw Tex.
This is what Madame Roux did to Eve's mom.
- What? - She suckered her in with free sessions, drugged her so she would believe, and pushed her to spend money on a bunch of crap.
Did I screw up the whole case now? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - Or maybe not.
- What? - She thinks you're coming back? - Yeah.
So now we have the upper hand.
Can I have some more of that tea, please? I'm really craving it.
Of course, my love.
Wait right here.
What happened? I'm glad you came to see me.
You were right.
Your daughter sent somebody to shut me down.
You can't shut down.
I need to talk to my Harold.
Don't you worry about that, honey.
I'll make sure Ingmar is not going to be coming around here anymore.
What is that? This? Too much of a good thing.
I got a weird feeling about this.
- You think it's going to work? - Yes.
Just get the tea in your flask and get out of there.
And try to act normal.
How do you mean? I am.
Your tea will be ready in a moment.
Thank you.
- Good water.
- It's really good.
- Getting hot in here.
- Yeah, I know.
Is everything okay? Yeah, it's just Brad.
I forgot we had plans tonight.
Um, I'm just calling to cancel.
Well, we might be done soon.
No, no, no, it's fine.
It's done.
This is too important to rush.
There you go.
- Light the candle now.
- Okay.
So is, uh, everything with Brad good? It is, actually.
He's, like, perfect.
Much better than my ex, you know? - Well - So much better.
We all have things in our past, you know.
Like Eve having sex while you were DJing? She told you about that? Of course she told me! Oh, Tex! What are you doing here? You know what? I think I saw him in the kitchen.
Wow! All these colors! I can taste them.
- Is that normal? - Yes.
You took enough LSD to make an elephant trip balls, so that's very normal at the moment.
Oh, no.
Uh, yes, I need to report a crime in progress.
My father's been poisoned! Ah, shit! Ingmar always picks the locks! Have you guys ever looked at the back of your hand? - It's amazing! - Wish I could.
I can't move my arms.
Why? Because I'm going to murder you, Ingmar! All right, nobody move! I'm basically a licensed detective.
I can't move anyway.
Don't worry, Axel.
Oh, God, she's got a gun! Don't move, or I'll shoot.
Hey, don't make Oh! Oh, oh, oh Bang! Bang! She's impervious to bullets! That's my girl! Look, you need to stop.
Harold is gone.
He's not coming back.
Madame Roux was never even talking to him.
You need to get on with your life and be there for your daughter.
I know.
I'm sorry, Sarah! Dad, I'm not talking to you.
Is everyone okay back here? I Are you going to eat that banana? It's all yours.
I just wanted to say thank you.
It's going to be really nice to have my mom back again.
Well, I'm professional.
Well, maybe, uh, I can see you sometime soon.
This time not about the case.
Okay, Mr.
Professional? Call me.
Tripod! I like the pain.
Wow! So, how are you feeling? Great, great.
Thank you.
You saved me.
I knew I could trust you.
Uh, actually, there's something I Enough! Take him to hospital.
He must never know.
Wait, what? If you tell Ingmar, he becomes accomplice.
Tex, what are you doing here? - But I wanna help you.
- Wait, what? With being in the country illegally.
I've been there.
That's why I'm going to help you.
What are you going to do? Don't worry.
Mama's got you.