Taken s02e06 Episode Script

1 Previously on "Kevin (Probably) Saves the World" I'm a messenger from God.
I'm here to guide and protect you.
God is gonna show you how to find the other righteous.
- Aah! - I think we're becoming more human.
We're also gaining more humanity.
You say that like it's a good thing! Admitting the truth means Admitting something I don't want to accept.
Dave is dead.
If this can happen to him, it can happen to me.
- Reese? - Wait, what was that? I don't know.
Hey.
What's with the huge shirt? I cleaned out Dave's apartment in Reno.
Oh.
Wow.
[LIPS SMACK.]
That is real Wait, Dave had an apartment? Two bed, one bath, laundry in unit, pretty good gym [CHUCKLES.]
Do you have an apartment? Why would I have an apartment? This house is really nice.
I feel the same way.
Anyway, I didn't know what to do with it and thought you might be able to get some use out of some of this stuff.
Mm.
Some sort of cinna Cinna-mint.
[CHUCKLES.]
Dave would probably be pretty happy if I finished up his tube for him.
I bet he would.
Do you want me to just toss the rest of this stuff in your closet? No, leave it out.
It'll be a nice way to remember our friend.
But we should store his belongings in something nicer than a cardboard box.
Why? They're just "things.
" I know.
But memorializing those who have passed on is What humans do.
It shows respect.
[SPITS.]
And, um [WATER SWISHES.]
it's the same reason that we have statues or [GASPS.]
Shh.
Good night.
Um [WHISPERING.]
This is my bed, too, so I'm just I'm just gonna squeeze Don't mind me.
Um, [LIPS SMACK.]
you know what? Maybe I'll This way.
Better for everybody.
Good night.
[ALARM CLOCK BEEPING.]
No.
Snooze.
Snooze forever.
[BEEPING CONTINUES.]
Um Yvette! Ooh.
Yvette! Mm.
Just Just one snooze.
Wake up! 911! It's an emergency! Awake! Whoa! Ohh! - [BEEPING CONTINUES.]
- I'm okay.
Ow.
I really don't think I'm okay.
Oh, wait.
No, I am.
So, is your whole "fritzing thing" getting worse? No, no.
It only happened because I fell asleep and had some Some strange dream.
- Like a nightmare? - Oh, it was nothing.
And it won't happen again because I'm going to stay focused and I'm gonna stay awake.
Pinky promise? [GASPS.]
What? What What is that? Uh, it's how you pinky promise.
Uh, you are wrong.
And I'm not doing that.
What? What? You got to do it before it dries.
AMY: Reese, come on, I told you it is It's some sort of video interference.
But what if it's not? What are you goobers looking at? There was a glitch on our security camera, and now Reese thinks that our living room is some sort of portal to another dimension.
What do you think? Oh.
You You would like my opinion? I don't think anything.
I mean, I I I mean, there's like, uh, yeah, okay, there's a little outline of something.
But, uh, who knows? Who knows anything, really? Life is such a mystery.
Like, who - Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm, uh I'm just, uh I'm a little nervous because I have to go to a brunch to meet some of Kristin's friends, and then Ugh! I'm just It's a little scary.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
I mean, not Like, I mean, it's definitely scarier than that, whatever that is.
All right, I gotta go charm the pants off - of some friends of - Mm.
of Kristin's, and - Wish me luck! - Yeah.
How does anyone date him? I honestly don't know.
- [WHISPERING.]
They saw you.
- [WHISPERING.]
What? On the security footage.
They saw you.
But don't worry because Amy already outsmarted herself and made up a logical explanation, but you really have to be on high alert.
Of course.
Of course.
[NORMAL VOICE.]
Um, excuse me.
Uh, what what is this? A funeral wreath for Brouwer Funeral Home, 3779 Sunburst Drive.
Well, that's our address, but this isn't Brouwer Funeral Home.
- That's in town.
- It's the right address, though.
So I can't take it back.
- Enjoy! - Great.
Thanks.
Yeah, I'll just I'll just take it over there myself.
You do you, bud.
[VAN DOOR CLOSES.]
I was working in this gallery in Austin, and Kristin kept coming by.
Every Saturday.
So, this is really happening again.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
- I'm surprised.
I-I was surprised, too.
[CHUCKLES.]
Remember when you were moving and we found a box of stuff - from when you guys first dated? - Ohh! [LAUGHS.]
And then we burned it.
[LAUGHTER.]
That was so fun.
[LAUGHING.]
Yeah.
That was a long time ago.
You know, uh, Tyler and Becky recently started dating, too.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
That is very true.
Mm-hmm.
It's been quite the romantic journey.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh.
How long have you two been together? Oh, gosh, um S-S-Seven or eight.
I want to say nine.
I Yep.
Nine hours.
[LAUGHTER.]
You know when something just feels right? Um, I do, and I don't ever want it to end.
[CHUCKLES.]
That's why we're moving in together.
What's that? We're moving in together, me and Becky.
Yeah, just felt like the next logical step.
So Guys, that is that's so It feels That's it's fast, right? Yeah.
Sh-Shouldn't you guys get to know each other a little bit better? I think it's kind of romantic.
At the very least, it's nice to see people who are in touch with their feelings and understand commitment.
No, yeah.
I mean, that Yes, that's correct, too.
I mean, that You know, follow your heart.
That's what I always say.
I don't think I've ever heard you say that.
Well, it's probably because I-I, like, say it so much that I take it for granted now.
[LAUGHS.]
But I-I do say it.
I say it a lot.
Anyway, here's to Tyler and Becky, and, um To many more hours together.
KEVIN: Oh, my God! Oh! I've been waiting for that wreath all morning.
Oh, yes.
Uh, that that man.
I-I've seen him before.
Well, he was in the state legislature for a long time.
Oh.
Should be a packed house tomorrow for his viewing.
[CHUCKLES.]
The man in the picture that's the dead guy I saw in my vision.
Here? So there is gonna be a righteous person at that viewing tomorrow.
Woo-hoooo.
Ooooo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
Why?! [VOICE BREAKING.]
Oh, it's just He just had so much more to give.
Just stop it.
You know what? Stop it right now.
Why?! Oh! I just get so overwhelmed.
I'm sorry.
Just bereaved.
Hey, are you awake? Hey, sleepyhead.
Are you awake now? [LAUGHS.]
Stop it! - Oh, you're awake.
Oh, hi.
- You're such a jerk.
Good morning.
Good morning.
What is wrong with you? It's so early.
Go back to sleep.
Well, I-I just was thinking about brunch, and maybe we should do it again.
- Like, today.
- T-Today? Yeah, I just want to get, like, a clearer sense of how your friends feel about me.
Like, if they really like me.
Or if they really don't.
Okay.
I don't care about any of that.
Wait.
Does that mean they - didn't like me? - Oh, my God.
- Well, I'm just trying to figure out - Okay.
I am gonna make us some coffee.
Okay.
- [TOY SQUEAKS.]
- Oh! Did you get a cat? Uh, yeah.
Like five years ago.
I have never seen a cat here.
Oh.
Guess Matisse must always hide when you come over.
Oh, Matisse Matisse? Matisse? [SMOOCHING.]
Matisse? [MATISSE MEOWS.]
[GASPS.]
Hi! Hi, Matisse.
You love me, don't you? [MATISSE YOWLS.]
- Ow! Oh! - [TOY SQUEAKS.]
It's obvious.
First her friends, now her cat.
The Universe is telling Kristin she shouldn't be with me.
Possibly.
The Universe speaks to everyone.
Oh, no.
- What? - My tie is broken.
What are you What are you talking about? The knot came undone.
So tie it.
I don't know how, okay? Will you do it? Let m [CHUCKLES.]
Let me, um Let me get this straight.
You're a grown man and you don't know how to tie a tie? Yes, okay? Are you paying attention? I already said that already.
Uh, how is that possible? You were an investment banker.
I would have it tied at the store, and then when it came undone, I would just throw it away.
Please? It's eas Just use your magic.
Use my magic.
Well, I It's a lot of A lot of people.
Won't be easy to find the righteous person.
You got a plan? Don't need one.
All these poor, sad people are hugging their brains out.
So I can just hug everyone here and this time, I won't look like a weirdo.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Watch this.
It's me.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
- I'm so sorry.
- Thank you.
You okay? It's just It's just so sad.
I-I mean, they'll They'll never see him again.
Um Yvette? Is Is that Is this you? Because I, uh [GASPS.]
Ooh! Um, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Let's let some other people have a turn, shall we? Hi! Yvette! - [GASPS.]
Oh.
- Hi.
Saw him earlier.
Oh! Good.
[CHUCKLES.]
So, I heard on a podcast that these people come to your house and do a seance for free.
Nice.
We should do that.
JESSICA: My aunt always says that she has a guardian angel.
She also says the TV communicates with her.
What are you guys doing? Trying to figure this out.
Okay.
It is dinner time, so you guys have to leave.
What are they going on about? Some stupid thing on the security cameras.
And Reese is letting her imagination run away with her.
- What's for dinner? What? - Reese.
I don't want you telling people about this.
Why? They think it's cool.
Well, I think it makes us sound crazy.
So knock it off.
Whatever.
I'm doing homework.
What do you think? - It's interference, right? - No, thanks.
No What do you mean, "No, thanks"? [SCOFFS.]
Man, that stuff creeps me out.
- No, thank you.
- [SCOFFS.]
You're all insane.
KEVIN: Bye, thank you for coming.
[SIGHS.]
JACK: I understand that, okay? And we're gonna keep to the spirit of his wishes, Barry, but this property is worth a lot of money.
It's the family.
They've been at it all night.
Yikes.
Jack, I just think maybe we should consider Uncle Gil's final wishes I just It's done, Barry.
The decision's been made.
Hi.
Sorry, I That sounded pretty intense.
Are you You all right? Your Your Your tie's a little, uh Ooh, yeah, I'm really bad at that.
- Um - Come here.
- Um - Thanks.
- I'm Barry.
- Cool.
Gil was my uncle.
Kevin.
So, how do you, uh How do you know Gil? I, uh I only met him once.
I was with my girlfriend.
But, uh, he made an impact.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
He was a great guy.
The world is, um Worse off without him.
There you go, Kelvin.
Oh, Kevin.
Yeah.
You know, my family cares more about money than him.
I just feel powerless to do anything about it.
Well, maybe there's something that I could do to help? You know what? I think you're probably the nicest person here, man.
Thank you for coming.
Of course I'm being nice.
[CHUCKLES.]
- I believe you.
- We don't need 36 superheroes.
- We need - brief moment, I understood - the Universe and - I love you, Keavy Metal.
Ooh! [GROANS.]
Ugh.
Kelvin? BARRY: Last thing I remember was Fixing your tie.
And then after that nothing.
Maybe we were dosed.
Well, believe it or not, I have an explanation.
Barry, there's something Very special about me.
And now you're a part of it, too.
[SIGHS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Um When I was nine, I colored my entire body with green marker because I wanted to be She-Hulk! No! I really thought 'cause you're a fan of She-Hulk, and that's also not Yeah.
- We were definitely dosed.
- Yeah.
Sure, that's the thing.
You're probably right.
So, [CLEARS THROAT.]
do you feel any different? Or, uh, I don't know, changed, maybe? More righteous or anything like that? Well, now that you mention it, I-I-I feel fantastic.
- Yeah? - Yeah, the world just seems more, uh alive today.
- You know, like the - Mm.
rays of sun bouncing on my skin and the scent of the soil in the wind.
Ah, and my feet! Oh! Oh, my feet.
They feel incredible! Wow! Oh, it's like You know, it's like walking on two puffy pillows.
So, do you live around here, or No, no Amsterdam.
You know, to be honest, I almost didn't come to the funeral.
Hey, I get it.
Families can be a little tricky.
Mnh.
Mine aren't tricky.
They're awful.
The only thing that Uncle Gil wanted was to be buried on the land near his cabin.
My brothers, they don't care what Uncle Gil wanted.
They just want to cremate him, sell the land, and split the money.
That's the one thing they can agree on.
Do you know what they were arguing about at the wake? What real estate agent to use.
[SCOFFS.]
It's just easier to shut up and give in.
That sucks.
I'm sorry.
I wish there was some way I could help.
Kelvin.
I feel better this morning than I have felt in a long time.
[CHUCKLES.]
My, uh My hotel's that way, so Oh, yeah, I'm I'm straight ahead.
You know what's funny? Hmm? I feel like I've known you forever.
It's weird, huh? Well, take care, Barry.
It was a real pleasure.
Thanks, Kelvin.
Yeah, yep.
Hey! - I found the guy.
- Oh! His name is Barry.
He is an accountant.
And I got this cat tower.
And you did it without my help.
I am very proud of you, Kevin.
Well, look, don't feel bad about it.
I mean, this one was practically dropped in my lap.
No, I-I really feel good about it.
Really? Why? Because it means I've made the right decision.
I think I figured out what's been going wrong with me.
Every time I lose control, I'm experiencing a strong human emotion.
So, what? We just We need to just keep you super chill all the time? No, I-I found a different solution.
- Kevin, meet Cindy, my replacement.
- You Oh, yeah, it's lesson time, Kevin! - Wait, what? - Ah-ha! That's right.
You gonna lunge all the way home.
Cindy don't do "soft" righteousness.
I'm gonna make you shredded! Wha But I have this cat tower, so I - Huh? - I have - Huh? - I Huh? [SIGHS.]
Yeah.
That's what I thought.
[GROANING.]
Yeah, that's right, Kevvy.
Deep like the ocean! Oh, Yvette, you don't need a replacement! Look, I'm sorry, Kevin, but something could have happened to you last night, and I wasn't there to protect you.
Come on, come on, baby! You are soft all over.
Look, we have to face the fact that I've become a liability to the mission.
That's not true you're just upset because Dave died! Wait a minute.
Hold up.
Uh, Dave did what now? Um, he, uh he just had a A a small accident.
Wait, he died! He Dave died.
He got electrocuted and he totally died! So you didn't think that that was important to mention? Well, we actually we don't know what happened to him, so First Dave, now you, Yvette? That's a pattern! That's a pattern, Yvette! Oh, Cindy, you're making I'm I'm not babysitting radioactive boy here while you try to figure it out, 'cause Cindy don't do sickness.
Cindy out.
Oh! Whew! Ow.
- What are you doing? - What? You are still lunging home.
But I Lunge! [GROANS.]
Hey, Captain Caveman, those boxes aren't free.
You want 'em, they come out of your paycheck.
I'm just stockpiling for the big move.
I'm kinda having second thoughts.
It's a miracle you were able to form the first one.
Kevin thinks that we're moving too fast.
You're an idiot.
For moving in with Becky.
No, for listening to that idiot.
You should only be listening to one person, dum-dum.
- You? - No.
You.
But yes, also me.
Who gives a crap what Kevin or any other idiot has to say about anything? I don't care, which is why I am the happiest person I know.
As a matter of fact, I don't even care what you're saying right now.
- Thanks for the advice, Luci - Don't care! Is it okay that I'm eating cereal for breakfast, or are people going to think I'm "crazy"? Let's not start this now, okay? Why does it bother you so much that I want to know what that thing on the video is? You mean your "guardian angel"? Yeah, why not? Because the idea is ridiculous.
Why won't you even consider it? Fine.
Let's consider it.
Good.
You're proposing that God sends these magical beings down to Earth to watch and follow people.
Like your uncle.
A-A-And they do what? - I don't know.
- They help them? They talk to them? Protect them? Maybe.
Okay.
Well Well, that would mean that not everyone gets a guardian angel, right? Because if everyone had one, then no one would get hurt.
I guess.
But that wouldn't be very fair, would it? Okay, because the odds are that some people with the invisible friend, they're just They're a terrible person.
And And a good man, like your father, he dies in a car accident.
Is that it? Is that the kind of idea that you want me to consider? [BOWL CLATTERS.]
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Hey.
I bought something for Matisse.
I think I bought it.
I don't really have a receipt, but, um - What? - So now we're back on? What? I thought that after last night we weren't going out anymore.
Wait.
Wait, last last night? What What happened last night? You tried to break up with me? - No, I didn't! Did I? - Yeah! You and some weird guy came over acting insane.
And I-I broke up with you? Mm-hmm.
Said something Something along the lines of, uh, needed to sacrifice your own happiness to save my friendship and my catship.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
This doesn't make any sense.
Oh, tell me about it! But you just kept ranting on and on about "doing the right thing," and I just I-I really - I-I You know, but that - That's not - You know what? - I just I don't get it.
It's like you're actively trying to find reasons for this to not work.
I mean, you just - You You listen to my cat - where a manhunt is under way you listen to my friends, you listen to everyone - of recently deceased - and everything but me.
And now you are literally not listening to me! No! I'm so I-I'm so sorry, and I - I totally owe you an explanation - Yeah.
but I also really have to go right now.
Of course you do.
- Ugh, sorry.
- Nope! Drop! - Keeping that.
- Oh, yes, yes.
- For Matisse.
- Absolutely, yeah.
- So, you just And - Yeah.
W-W-What happened? Um, I tried to break up with Kristin I guess? Are you an idiot? And then I did something much worse.
I think I stole a dead body.
[GROANS.]
Yep, I committed a felony.
Theft of a corpse gets you two glorious years in prison.
Okay, just calm yourself.
Now, let's let's retrace your steps.
- Okay.
- You woke up in a barn I woke up in - The kimono! - Oh! Yes.
Living Soles Foot Spa.
Okay, I must've gone there.
Maybe they know something.
I Aren't you coming? No.
Wait.
What do you W-What do you mean "no"? I-I need your help.
[SIGHS.]
I can't control my emotions, so I don't know what to do other than to stay here.
Well, I can't control my emotions, either.
We'll just do what we always do.
We'll figure it out as it happens.
All right.
But if something goes wrong, we're gonna have to make a change.
Fine.
It's Whatever.
Who was that? Hm? Uh, who was what? Who were you just talking to? Myself.
Like yoozh.
Do you have an invisible person following you around? [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
Um Where did you get that incredibly silly, stupid idea from? I don't know.
I don't know anything.
[SIGHS.]
[VOICE BREAKING.]
I think I upset Mom.
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
If there is a God How does God make decisions? Because they're stupid.
- Well, um - Never mind.
You're just gonna say some unfunny joke answer.
Whoa, no.
Reese, look, I [CLEARS THROAT.]
I had a friend like you.
Um was a huge, bald guy And that's not the part that was like you, okay? But my friend assumed God didn't have a plan.
And maybe he was right.
And the way I see it, um Who cares? Like, really, who cares? Who cares if God exists or has a plan? Like, literally everyone.
But what does it matter? Because whatever the The answer is, you should you should just try to do what's right, and that's all there is to it.
And that's All I have to say.
So I really hope that it was helpful.
Um Kind of, yeah.
I'm deeper than you thought I was.
- Hm? Hm? - I hate you.
And I'm smarter than you thought I was.
Nah, nah, honey, I'm good I could have another, but I probably shouldn't I've got somebody at home, home, home, home It's been a long night here and a long night there BOTH: Uncle Gil! How?! Kimono! I gotta be like, oh, baby, nah, baby - You got me all wrong, baby - Barry, Kelvin, you're back! Hey, guess who's back! You You You remember us? - Yeah.
- Of course we do! [LAUGHTER.]
Who could forget you guys? You were like a two-man bachelorette party.
So, are you redeeming those free foot rubs so soon? - I will stay true - Mm So, we each got 10 foot massages? Nine.
You gave us the 10th.
Hmm.
So, did you do the right thing? I don't know what that means.
Why did I keep saying that? Oh, no, it wasn't you.
It was him.
Did you? Oh, my God.
Kelvin, I think we did the right thing! [CHURCH BELL TOLLS.]
Is that what I think it is? Yeah, this was Uncle Gil's favorite place.
Everybody in the family promised, "Sure, Gil, we'll bury you wherever you want.
" Then when he died Everybody changed their tune.
I'm so sorry, Uncle Gil.
I'm sorry.
Y-Y-You're saying he's in there, right? Is this a good idea? What What What's the big deal? We're gonna dig up a dead body with our hands? S-So? A dead body's nothing.
That's, what, like an empty suitcase.
Ugh! Get down there and get in.
- I found something.
- What? I found something! [GRUNTS.]
Pants.
Hey, these are our clothes.
Then where's the body? I'm a grave robber.
You're not technically a grave robber because that wasn't even really a grave, so Well, I'm a body stealer.
I stole my my favorite uncle's body and then I lost it! - Okay, we'll find it.
- How?! I blacked out the whole night.
- [GASPS.]
- God, I'm a blacking out guy now.
No.
I'm gonna turn myself in.
That's No, no, no.
Okay, just hold on.
No, I will tell them that it was all me, that you had nothing to do with it.
Okay, that is very nice, but we do not have to do that.
I'm not very nice.
I cheat on my taxes.
I cheated on my ex-wife.
[SCOFFS.]
I didn't deserve to have Gil as an uncle.
You know what? And this is my payback.
- No.
- Right now.
Hey, Barry, listen.
I know what it's like to hate yourself, but I also know that you are a good person.
Tell me - How do you know? - I just do.
And I can't explain it because there are these, like It's rules stuff.
But, um But you're more important than you realize.
I get it.
You do? You're still trippin' balls.
It's cool.
- Sure.
- Okay.
[SIGHS.]
[BOTH EXHALE DEEPLY.]
This This is the most amazing coffee ever.
- I know! - TYLER: All right.
Pancakes for K-Rod, and oatmeal for Crunch Barry.
Thanks, Ty.
No, thank you.
Thought long and hard about your advice, and you're totally right about me and Becky.
So you're not moving in with her? Nope.
She's moving in with me! - And my mom! - Oh.
Yeah! It just makes sense, you know? 'Cause she's unemployed.
I'm a waiter.
We can't afford a place.
And my mom is, like, an awesome roommate.
Are you You're sure about this, Ty? You know, I know a lot of people think we're moving too fast.
But it feels right.
So I don't care what people think.
Well I'm really happy for you guys.
Thanks, man.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're the best, K-Rod! - You're the best.
- Oh, hey, real quick.
What do you want me to do with that dead body? Oh, my God.
Tyler, could you possibly fill us in on how this happened? Oh, my God.
You guys came in after closing wearing some fly kimonos.
Asked me if I could store a stiff, and I said "Sure.
" Um, did we say why? Just kept talking about doing the right thing over and over.
Okay, but the problem is, the right thing wasn't what I thought it was, so What did I mean? Oh, it wasn't you.
It was Kev here.
Yeah.
He gave a pretty rousing speech.
What What did I say? I can't remember exactly.
Something like, uh "Barry you didn't learn the art" of metatarsal reflexology, steal a body, dig a grave, decide not to bury that body in the grave, and bring it to the diner just to give up now.
This is your chance Perhaps your only chance "To do the right thing and stand up to your family.
" Or something like that.
I don't know.
My memory is not great.
- Wow.
- No! Tyler, you're right.
Well, I was.
I was right because he was - Oh, you too, Kelvin.
- Yeah, okay.
You too.
I have to stand up to them and tell them that Gil's getting his last wish.
I'm doing it.
TYLER: Great.
I mean, they'll probably be cool with the whole you guys stealing the body and everything, right? Um Okay, what time is it? 6:18.
Yeah, wow, um Okay, you got to go to your family right now and tell them they have to bury Gil where he wants to be buried.
Oh, I'll take Gil back to the funeral home before it opens.
I'll be in and out and they'll never know who took the body.
Okay.
I'm going.
Um, Ty, two things One, you have to throw out everything you have in here.
- Okay? - [LAUGHS.]
That's hilarious.
I-I really hope - you're taking me seriously.
And also, um, can I borrow this? They're opening in a half-hour.
We have to hurry.
Uh, I guess I could just leave him here.
No, no, no, no.
I got it.
- [BEEPS.]
- [GASPS.]
Great! Okay, this is gonna work.
With plenty of time to [LOCKS CLICK.]
Yvette? Yvette, I'm locked in.
[MUFFLED.]
Yvette, can you hear me? Um, Yvette, I'm I'm stuck.
[KNOCKING.]
Open.
Open.
Ugh.
It's still not working.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
Open, open, open, open.
[BEEPING.]
Oh.
[MUFFLED.]
Are you trying something? [SIGHS.]
It's It's not working.
I'm I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna get some help, Kevin.
[MUFFLED.]
I can't hear you! I can't hear you! I'm gonna get some help.
[KNOCKING.]
[FRANTIC KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
I'm a a a friend of Kevin's.
Do I know you? He needs your help.
Yvette, we only have 12 minutes.
Are you out there? [SIGHS.]
[DRILL WHIRRING.]
How did you get locked in a dead-body refrigerator? Amy.
And who was that woman at my front door? Kevin! Get Kevin, get back Is she one of those people that you're helping? - Um - Does this have anything to do with that missing dead body from the news? Kevin, did you steal that dead body? Do you know how much trouble you can get into for that? I do, so we should probably get out of here.
- Okay, but I have a lot more questions.
- Okay, and I promise to make up some answers by the time I get home.
Remind me to actually stretch out this time because I just don't want - [GASPS.]
- Hi.
- Whoa.
- Oh, hi.
Um, I just need to Just one One minute, um Are you Are you okay? I think so.
I haven't slept in a bit, but I just, uh, I need to get this out.
Um, first of all I know that Rachel hates me.
And I You're gonna love me eventually, it just it It happens, and, um, and I know that Matisse hates me.
And I don't care.
All that matters is how you feel and how I feel.
And just so you know, I feel having you back in my life is [CHUCKLES.]
is the biggest gift I've ever been given by [VOICE BREAKING.]
the Universe or God or whatever you want to call it.
And, um And if you feel even a sliver of that, that's good enough for me.
I just I just want to make you happy.
And Are you Are you happy? I'm happy.
Okay.
But we're going to yoga, so I got to go.
Okay.
Do you mind if I take a nap? Just on your couch.
Um I'm about to keel over.
- Sure.
- Oh, thank you.
You are You're the best.
And have a great yoga, and, uh, namaste.
Um sleep tight, Kevin.
Thank you so much.
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
[PURRING.]
Hey, buddy.
I knew you'd come around.
[GROWLING.]
I'm so scared.
Hey.
Hey.
I had a craving for bagels.
I got you poppy seed.
Thank you.
So, I'm sorry.
About all the ghost and guardian angel stuff.
I knew how you felt about that stuff.
I just didn't know why you felt that way.
I'm sorry, too.
I-I overreacted.
Just so you know, I'm dropping it.
You were probably right, and whatever is on the video is totally nothing.
Probably? Of course I'm right.
[CHUCKLES.]
[WHISTLES.]
This is one clean crime scene.
- [SIGHS.]
- You'd make a great hit man.
[LAUGHS.]
Thank you.
Um, everything okay with your family? [CHUCKLES.]
Not for them.
They lost 50 acres of prime real estate.
But Uncle Gil is where he wanted to be.
- So you did it! - Yeah.
- You stood up to them.
- [LAUGHS.]
I stood up and I talked some sense.
- And that didn't work.
- Oh.
So I yelled, and I threatened, but, yes, I did it.
- Thanks to you.
- No.
You know, I-I-I still can't believe you You did all this just to help me.
I mean, I'm just a nobody you never met before.
Well, I'm a I'm a nobody, too.
You know? We have to stick together.
Maybe you'll help the next nobody you meet.
- Sounds good.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Maybe I'll meet someone who's looking for an urn.
You got an urn? Well, Uncle Gil's.
- [GASPS.]
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
- He doesn't need it.
And I-I just feel weird tossing it in the trash.
[LIPS SMACK.]
You know what? I think I know someone who could use it.
[CHUCKLES.]
It looks nice there.
It really does.
I'm really glad we did this.
I'm I'm glad I'm here to do it and not in jail.
Getting Amy to help was quick thinking on your part.
And I'm I'm I'm sure you must be freaking out about that, but I'll cover.
Kevin our problems are way past you covering for me now.
I'm not getting any better.
- Well, no.
You - This isn't I was wrong.
It's not about my emotions.
I-I simply can't control myself.
I'm afraid we're out of options.
I hate to say this, but we need Well, then don't.
Just don't say it.
Just don't.
Just But you don't you don't even know what I'm about to say.
Yeah, you're you're gonna say that you're leaving, that you're splitting us up, and I'm not having it, so you can think of another thing.
Or don't even think about anything at all.
Just no more thinking.
Just a blank, empty mind from now on.
- We need to talk.
- It's really not a good time.
Oh, I don't care.
Who was that person on my front porch this morning? And why does she look exactly like the person in my security footage? You know what? I just I-I want you to think about this before you make something up.
[SIGHS.]
Okay.
Aim, look, I know that you're worried about me No.
I'm not worried about you.
I'm worried about me, okay? I just I I feel like I'm losing it.
And I just I need I need the absolute truth.
Fine.
[CHUCKLES.]
That meteor wasn't a meteor.
It was actually a warrior from God.
Her name is Yvette, and she was sent here to protect me because I was the last righteous soul, and my mission is to anoint new righteous souls and save the world.
Wait.
Did I say that? Did Did that come out of my mouth? I did it.
I Aim, that was the truth! Wow.
I feel like an idiot.
I can't believe that I actually thought you would say something even remotely help YVETTE: Hello, Amy.
Kevin's telling the truth.
I am a messenger from God.
Huh? And Kevin is one of the 36 righteous souls who protects humanity merely by existing.
And I know this is a lot to take in, and under normal circumstances I wouldn't burden you with this knowledge.
But these aren't normal circumstances.
We need your help.
[BODY THUDS.]
Nice.