Teen Titans Go! (2013) s04e39 Episode Script

The Academy

"The Academy" [OPENING THEME.]
BEAST BOY: All right! [LAUGHS.]
Titans! Your attention, please.
CYBORG: Move it.
Hey, listen to me, none of you have done any chores for weeks.
The tower is disgusting.
- Didn't notice.
- You're getting crumbs all over the floor right now.
- If we all pitch in to clean up - BEAST BOY: Come on! We can't sees, fool.
Move, get out of the way.
We are trying to watch the awards program.
An awards program? Those are terrible! It's just hours of awkward banter and boring retrospectives and the worst part is, the awards themselves are meaningless.
Meaningless? Are you crazy, dude?! Awards satisfy our irrational need to be validated by being given a statue based on completely arbitrary metrics.
Quiet! They're about to give the award to the person who is "Best in a Specific Category.
" Ooh! I hope the person we wanna win wins the award for being best in that specific category.
Yo, if the person we wants to win doesn't win, I'mma lose my mind! [GROANS IRRITABLY.]
I am getting the mad.
Just thinking about how unfair it is that the person I want to win in the "Specific Category" [ECHOING.]
could do the losing to the someone I believe to be less qualified.
You're already getting worked up - over this thing happening.
- Shush, shush, shush.
Shush the mouth! Shush the mouth hole! They're about to indicate the winner.
- They gave that person? - Seriously? He's not the best in that category.
- Yo, he just ain't! - This is a bunch of poop.
Wow, that is some strong language, mama.
But I agree, this is some poop.
Straight up, stinking poo.
How do you even know that? It's just your opinion.
Don't you see that awards are a pointless charade? Yous just mad 'cause you never got no awards.
Never! Even if, I got an award, I wouldn't care - because awards are meaningless.
- Well you sound super bitter.
Who even decides the winners? [DRUM ROLL.]
ALL: The Academy! And who is this, "Academy"? You know.
ALL: The Acad [BEEPING.]
Will you just do your chores, please? Not until the show of awards has come to an end.
There's only four more hours and we can't miss a single moment.
Nows quiet, I wants to hear this gentleman thanks a bunch of people I don't know.
Dude, if you gotta go pee, just go.
I don't have to pee.
Didn't you hear? It's happening! What's you talkin' about, bro? The first annual Teen Titan Awards! [TRUMPET PLAYING.]
Never heard of a "Teen Titan Awards.
" They're awards that go to the Titan who is the best in a specific category.
- Whats you get if you win? - Oh, just a little golden statue.
Wow, that is very classy.
Ooh, I really, really want one! Well, in order to get one, you'll need to prove that you are the best in these specific categories.
"Dishwasher," "Trash Remover," "Laundry Doer".
and "Person Who Kept their Crumbs off the Floor.
" I will do anything for an award! - Who's judging this? - The Academy.
- Ah, of course.
- You'd better get to work.
The Teen Titans Awards are next week.
And you'll need to convince the Academy that you are the best in a "Specific Category.
Great Scott, it's filthy.
21 gigawatts, 88 minutes.
Okay, dishes, I am sending you to the future! [ADVENTUROUS MUSIC.]
Time to go home, fool.
My papa always said, "Life was like a floor of crumbs.
You never know what you're gonna get.
" You got bread crumbs, cracker crumbs, cookie crumbs, pizza crumbs, potato chip crumbs cupcake crumbs, cheesy crumbs, mystery crumbs.
That's uh That's 'bout all the crumbs.
Great work, Titans.
I think your irrational need to be validated by being given a statue based on completely arbitrary metrics will be fulfilled.
Now, let's get ready.
It's showtime! ANNOUNCER: Live, from the epicenter of entertainment, a night to honor the most talented heroes on Earth.
It's the Teen Titan Awards! [CHEERING.]
Ladies and Gentlemen, your host, Birdarang! What's up, everybody? Welcome to the first annual Teen Titan Awards.
BIRDARANG: So many A-list Titans here tonight.
And Robin came too.
Now, throw your hands in the air for our first presenters Sticky Joe and the Tooth Fairy.
We are here to present the award for "Best Dishwasher".
- Hey! So, Sticky Joe, they say dish washing happens - mostly in the kitchen.
- Hey! But tonight's nominees have shown us that it really happens in here.
- Hey! And the title goes to, Da-da-ra-da-da - Please, please, please.
Hope it's me, hope it's me.
STICKY JOE: Hey! Robin.
- Hey! - [GRUNTS.]
Hey, get off me, man.
Oh, thank you so much for this.
I've got so many people to thank.
Uh, Batman.
I wouldn't be here without you.
Uh, okay, [STUTTERS.]
also, uh, thank you to Alfred, at Wayne Manor and uh, everyone who gave a circus boy the chance of a lifetime! Thank you! - So happy for you.
- Yeah, "congratulations.
" Who's a pretty, sparkly statue? [SMOOCHES.]
She's an octopus, he's an ice unicycle.
Give it up for our next presenters, The Wonder Twins.
Uh, and the award for "Best Trash Remover" goes to - Come on, I want this so bad.
- BOTH: Please, please.
- This is poop! - Agreed.
The poop.
Yeah! It's time we did something about this injustices.
Wow, uh, I never expected this.
Uh, yes, lightning does strike twice.
Ow! Gimme those.
Let's see who the winners are tonight.
Robin, Robin.
Robin, Robin, Robin! [GROWLS.]
They all say Robin! You rigged the game, yo.
I assure you, The Academy made those decisions based on very specific and fair judging criteria.
We know there's no Academy! You just made this whole thing up to get us to do chores.
WOMAN: Of course there's an Academy.
They's real? RAVEN: So, Robin really did win all the awards? Yes, we judged him to be the best.
Though, honestly, the decision was a bit arbitrary.
We recognized his name and assumed he was superior.
Also, Bruce Wayne sponsors the show but that did not influence us.
You sure about that? Hmm, sounds like a really big conflict of interest.
You dare question the integrity of the Academy?! You shall be punished for such impudence.
Your award has been revoked.
No, please, not my sweet baby! Not my precious! You have been snubbed.
Snubbed? [YELLS.]
Nooo! [CRYING.]
We can still beat 'em, Robin.
By summoning the power of one of the most awarded movies in history! [GASPS.]
Fly, you fools! [ALL SHOUTING.]
Hold up, yo.
You all need to chill for a hot minute so we can do the emotional "In Memorium" montage, where we say, "Peace out" to those we've lost.
You will be missed.
Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya! [YELLS.]
You shall not pass.
It's over, Academy.
We've won.
Oh, snap! That was ridonculous.
For the final award of the night, the winner of this battle is TEEN TITANS: Please be us, please be us, please be us.
BIRDARANG: The Academy.
Oh, come on! [ALL CLAMORING.]
Oh, the Teen Titans will never ever get an award.
We know.