Teen Titans Go! (2013) s04e51 Episode Script

Mo' Money Mo' Problems

1 "Mo' Money, Mo' Problems" [OPENING THEME] [WALTZ MUSIC] [DINGS] [THUDS] [CHOMPING] [COUNTRY MUSIC] [SCREAMS] [GRUNTING] - Stop eating! - That is mine.
Take that out of your mouth now.
What is all the locomotion? Beast Boy is eating us out of house and home.
It's 'cause I need some of them good calories, yo.
I'm storing up my fats for the winter.
Because it's hibernation time, baby! That's seven and a half months of straight-up sleeping.
Seven and a half months? [SAD MUSIC] Bro, I'm gonna miss you so much.
The who will I play the Fetch with? The who? No Beast Boy for seven months? Let's get you fed, big guy! [GRUNTING] [GULPS] Feeling sleepy.
Great! Bedtime.
No! I can't do no hibernations here.
I needs a cave Uh, there are no caves around here.
Unless you count my man cave.
Oh, yeah! Men only, baby! - Sorry, ladies.
- No, bro.
The caves gots to be real.
With them good rocks and darknesses.
But who amongst us has access to such a cave? [HORN BLARING] You know Batman.
It's nice of Batman to let us use the Batcave.
You broke in! [YAWNING] This cave is perfect, yo.
Then let's get you tucked in, big guy.
Ah.
Hush little Beast Boy do not say the word Ah, nighty-night.
I said do not say the word! [SCREAMS] No, no, no, no, no.
Shh-shh.
Go back down.
Go back down.
Shh.
Hush little baby [LAUGHS] Sorry, bro, I ain't never gonna sleep now.
Nooo! All I wanted was seven and a half months of peace and quiet, but now that dream is over.
[LAUGHS] [GRUMBLES] Come on, let's get out of here before Batman comes back.
No way.
How often do you get to see the Batcave? I wanna check this place out.
[GRUMBLES] [UPBEAT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC] [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING] Yo, what's up with this fireman pole? I did not know the Batman was also the fireman.
Yeah, that's right.
He's a fireman.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Not a billionaire playboy named Bruce Wayne.
And this, this is just a boring old fire pole that goes to some lame fire station.
- I love fire.
- I love station! Let's go! [THUDDING] Whoa! I didn't knows firemans was rich.
I wanna be a fireman so I can be rich, too.
Somebody start a fire.
No fires! This isn't a fire station.
[ALL GASP] This place is the house of lies! [DRAMATIC MUSIC] This is my childhood home.
- Wayne Manor.
- Oh, snap! That means you was rich? You must have had the wondrous childhood of the money spending.
Actually, I spent my childhood training to become a defender of justice.
[THUD] Are you telling me you had riches and didn't revel in 'em? ROBIN: There was a strict no reveling policy.
Money is a vice that leads to nothing but problems.
Actually, money solves all your problems.
It's a vice! Now, come on.
Let's get out of here.
Sorry, bro, but we're not leaving until we get a tour.
Really? Ugh! Fine.
Wayne Manor is home to many memorable props and locations.
Here we have the super long table where Michael Keaton had an awkward dinner date.
[ALL GASP] - Ooh.
- Hey, Mama, pass the salt.
[SHOUTS] [LAUGHS] Classic long table shenoonigans.
This is the whole where Christian Bale learned why we fall.
Oh, I wish to learn.
Ooh-ooh! [SCREAMS] [GRUNTS] The learning is the painful.
[SCREAMS] And of course, the phone that Adam West would answer when crime was afoot.
[TELEPHONE RINGING] [ROARING OVER PHONE] And finally here's some stuff from Val Kilmer and George Clooney.
[BLASTER SHOT] Any questions before we continue the tour? Yeah, who's the creeper following us? - That's Alfred.
He's the butler.
- What up, butt-ler? [LAUGHS] Ooh-whee! Look at that fancy suit.
He must have an important meeting to go to.
He doesn't have a meeting, that's his uniform.
He's been wearing it for 40 years.
You have kept him from the meeting for that long? - Robin, let the man go to his meeting! - Fine.
Whatever.
Alfred, you're free for the day.
Now, come on.
[WHIMSICAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC] Oh, what is this room of the sadness? That's the supply room.
It's right next to my room.
[TENSE MUSIC] [TEETH CLATTERING] Ah, so many wonderful memories.
The weights I used to build my amazing muscles.
The bed.
Where I used to cry myself to sleep.
The drain that used to wash away my tears.
And I can't forget about you, Mr.
Bucket.
- I missed you, buddy.
- Dude, where's all your expensive stuff? Didn't you get anything cool, like a super big TV? Or the pet that is exotic? Or a priceless piece of art to use as a dartboard? Or fireworks made of money that you launch into the sky? I had none of those things.
I learned from Batman that frivolous materialism would only impede the pursuit of justice.
So there wasn't anything you wanted? Well, there was one thing.
I always wanted a poster of Bell Biv DeVoe.
The early '90s R&B trio that was put together after the unfortunate demise of New Addition? Their fresh beats and their sweet lyrics got me through some tough times.
Their behind the scenes turmoil taught me how to deal with conflict.
And their elegant fusion of R&B and new jack swing inspired my embrace of mixed martial arts.
The poster would have gone right here.
But it would have been an unnecessary extravagance.
Alls you wanted was a poster of some R&B group - and you ain'ts never gots it? - That is the so, so the sad.
This so the sad.
Bro, you deserve to spend some of Batman's money to have the childhood you never had.
Money is a tempting seductress.
And like Bell Biv DeVoe once sang That girl is Poison Ah, come on.
Throw some cash around.
You've earned it.
But Batman needs that cash to fight crime.
You know who needs it more? The small child who lives within your innards.
The little boy who lived in his sad room wishing for a Bell Biv DeVoe poster that he never got.
- You don't think it'll cause problems? - No, dude! Money is gonna solve your problems! I guess I could indulge.
Just this once.
ALL: All right! Let's spin that money, son! [UPBEAT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC] Ha-ha! This feels so good! Launch the money fireworks! [UPBEAT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC] Wow, I spent all that money and nothing bad happened.
[WHIRRS] That's right, bro.
When you's got that money richness, you ain't never got no problem.
[EXPLOSION] [ROCK MUSIC] [SCREAMING] - They're taking everything! - The sweet big screen.
The dartboard.
The tiger that is white.
[MEOWS] Not my gold-plated armor! - We have to stop them.
- Uh, I don't thinks we should be messing with Batman's villains, yo.
With Alfred at his meeting, we are Wayne Manor's only defense.
Titans, go! [GRUNTS] [MUSIC] [GRUNTING] Ahh! Ah! - Aah! - Ooh! [LAUGHING] [SCREAMS] Ow! Ouch! Ah! Stop! You guys said money would solve my problems.
This is a problem.
A big one! [CRYING] - Batman is going to kill me.
- Wait.
Look.
[MUSIC] ALL: Alfred! [SLURPING] [LAUGHING] - Alfred did it! - Yeah.
No thanks to us.
It seems you were the right, Robin.
Money is only the vice.
Are you kidding? My butler saved the day! That's thanks to money! If I learned anything, it's that if you're rich, there are no consequences to your terrible actions.
Uh, but you still gonna get in trouble with Batman for all this mess.
Oh, yeah? Oh, Alfred? [BELL DINGING] Clean this place up before Batman comes home.
[LAUGHING] [KICK]