Teen Titans Go! (2013) s05e24 Episode Script

The Metric System vs Freedom

1 [ANIMAL SOUNDS] Go! [TITLE MUSIC] T-E-E-N T-I-T-A-N-S Teen Titans let's go [SCRATCHING] T-TEEN, T-TEE-TEEN Teen Titans, go! [ALL MUNCHING] Whoo, doggie! I'm thirsty.
- Yo, Beastie, grab me a liter of soda.
- You gots it, bruh.
[MUSIC] [SCREAMS] [EXCLAIMS] [SCREAMING] We do not drink liters of soda in this household.
[SCREAMING] [PANTING] [TIMER BEEPING] If you are thirsty, you can drink a gallon of milk.
- Whoa! Take it easy.
- It is only the fizzy drink.
[GULPING] My problem isn't the soda.
It's the liters.
I hears that.
Leaders are the worst.
Takes you, for example.
Not leaders, [WHEEZING] "liters.
" As in the unit of measurement.
What, you don't want us measuring things now? Oh, measure all you want.
But liters belong to the metric system.
[CRYING] We only use the imperial system in this tower.
[GASPS] Side with that dirty Darth Vader? Nah, bro.
The imperial system has nothing to do with Darth Vader but everything to do with America.
If you love freedom, you must reject the metric system.
Give us several reasons why.
The metric system uses numbers in shared prefixes to describe measurements.
Milligram, centigram, kilogram.
It's all the same! Now, the far superior imperial system uses random objects, such as a foot, or a yard, which gives measurements individuality.
And individuality is the very definition of what it means to be a freedom-loving American.
You know, scientists say the metric system is superior.
And ain't nobody smarter than a scientist.
[NERVOUSLY] Scientists? You haven't seen any scientists, have you? Tell me.
Tell me! - I didn't see no scientist, bro.
- Good.
Very good.
Scientists want to convert the entire world to the metric system.
And they will stop at nothing, nothing, to achieve their goal.
You make the scientist person sound as though they are the evil secret society.
That's exactly what they are.
If you see any scientists, squash them like the cockroaches they are.
Okay, crazy.
You still haven't convinced me the imperial - system is better than the metric system.
- No? Then this will.
There is one activity where imperial outshines metric.
Now, if I wanted to use the metric system to, let's say, bake some muffins, I'd have to use food scales and conversion tables.
But if I wanted to use the imperial system, all I need are these.
[ROBIN GRUNTING] Enjoy the flavor of freedom.
[ECHOING] Oh, snap! These muffins is tight.
[CYBORG READING] So soft and moist.
[CYBORG READING] If the imperial system can make something this good, who needs the lousy metric system? [CYBORG READING] The three of the cheers for the imperial system.
The hip, the hip ALL: Hooray! [DRAMATIC MUSIC] [ALL MUNCHING] Morning, morning Morning, morning, morning Wow, I am so hungry I could eat a kilogram of eggs.
Ha, ha, ha.
[ALL GASP] What did you say?! What? That I could eat a kilogram of eggs? If you're worried about my cholesterol, relax.
That was just a little hyperbole on my part.
We don't care about your cholesterol.
We're disturbed by your use of the metric system.
Why would using the best measurement system in the world bother you? [ALL GASP] You said it was a threat to the freedoms.
Well, I believe I gave the metric system a bad rap.
It actually has a lot of great qualities.
[ALL GASP] What about the baking? As it turns out, it wasn't as difficult as I anticipated.
Enjoy the flavor of uniform measurements.
[SHRIEKING] [SCREAMING] [GASPING] [SHRIEKING] [ALL RETCHING] He's using the metric system to poison us! Did the scientists get to you? Did they? [CHUCKLING] Scientists? Ha, don't be ridiculous.
If scientists aren't behind your sudden change of heart, what's with the coat? It was a little chilly.
- [ALL AGREEING] - BEAST BOY: Oh, I got it.
The tower is drafty.
But why are you holding that beaker? Oh, this? [GULPING] All the other dishes were dirty, so I had to improvise.
[ALL AGREEING] I ain't done them dishes in some times.
But who uses a microscope to read the newspaper? I can't find my reading glasses.
Ha! I can be so absent-minded, sometimes.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go peer review a journal.
Something about the metric system hasn't been sitting right with me.
Check this out.
If you take the word "metric" and flip it around, it reads, "Trick me.
" [ALL GASP] [SCREAMING] [GLASS SHATTERS] This can only mean one thing.
Scientists have tricked Robin into going with their evil scheme.
They're controlling his mind.
I'm certain of it.
[WHISTLING] Hey, guys.
Be back in a few.
I'm off to run a 5K.
5K? As in five kilometers? That sounds like another one of those metric terms.
Why don't you run a marathon, fool? There ain't no dirty Ks in that.
Ha! Such a scamp as always, Beast Boy.
See you all later.
[METAL CLANGS] [GLASS SHATTERS] Something is definitely up with the Robin.
We better follow him on his little "5K.
[SIGHING] How many of the Ks have we the run? No idea.
I don't eve know how long a K is.
Oh, I gots them runner's nipples.
[ALL GROANING] Friends, look.
Robin has finished all of the Ks.
[CROWD CHEERING] ALL: Ooh! What is this place? This is what the ancients called A lab.
Robin must be back there, yo.
It appears to enter the laboratory's inner sanctum, we must face the three challenges.
The first one reads, "If you don't want to learn a horrible lesson, keep moving at five meters per second.
" Is that fast? How fast is a meter? I have none of the idea.
It doesn't matter.
We have to move.
[DEVICE BEEPING] Now! [ALL SCREAMING] BEAST BOY: The metric system! [ALL GROAN] We's made it through.
What's the next challenge, yo? "This challenge is a breeze.
Just step on the temperature at which water does freeze.
" - Easy peasy.
32 degrees.
- Wait, that's Fahrenheit! [ALL GASP] [ALL SCREAMING] What's the third challenge? "Unless you wish to fail, place one kilogram upon this scale.
" Kill a gram? That be easy, yo.
Gram! Perish! [WHIMPERS] Why does this keep happening? CYBORG: Oh, the pain! [STARFIRE SCREAMING] [BEEPS] [ALL GROAN] [ALL GASP] [LAUGHING EVILLY] Robin.
What's you doin' with them dirty scientists? Robin here is helping us wipe the imperial system of measurement off the face of the earth.
- Perhaps you'd like to join the cause? - Never.
[LAUGHS] We turned your friend into a scientist.
What makes you think we can't do the same to you? Because we ain't smart enough to be no scientist, yo.
You will be, once Robin introduces you to the scientific method.
Come, friends.
Let me tell you more about the system of measurement not based on body parts.
You have to remember who you are.
You're a foot, you're a tablespoon, an ounce, an inch.
You're as individual as each of these random measurements.
You're not standardized or practical or well-thought-out, you're American.
Uh Titans, what happened? The filthy scientists used the metric to trick you.
What? You'll pay for trying to unify the world's measurement systems.
[LAUGHS] Ignorant fools.
We will crush you with our superior metric-based attacks.
The metric system may be superior in every way, except one.
Titans, bake! [ALL GRUNTING] Who wants muffins? Hi-yah! So tight.
[EXCLAIMS] Scaramouch! [GRUNTS] [GIGGLING] [GRUNTS] My whole life has been a lie.
[ALL CHEERING] Thanks, Titans.
Without you, I would be weighing things using kilograms instead of pounds.
The important things is, we learned that scientists want to eradicate individuality by forcing the world to adopt the metric system.
Well said, Raven.
Now, who wants a gallon of milk? ALL: [CHEER] USA! USA! USA! USA! [GULPS]