Teen Titans Go! (2013) s05e25 Episode Script

The Chaff

1 [ANIMAL SOUNDS] Go! [TITLE MUSIC] T-E-E-N T-I-T-A-N-S Teen Titans let's go [SCRATCHING] T-TEEN, T-TEE-TEEN Teen Titans, go! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah Blah, blah, blah, blah, Blah, blah, blah Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah Blah [STATIC] [ALL SCREAM] Oh, hello, Titans.
[ALL GROAN] Control Freak.
What do you want this time, you belligerent basement dweller? I just wanted to pop in and say how much I've enjoyed watching your show lately.
Oh, the many thank yous.
Oh, yeah, the stories have been great.
And the musical numbers? [LAUGHS] Oh, they are top-notch as usual.
So nice of you to say.
And the laughs never stop coming.
Those toilet jokes had me rolling.
Aw.
If we's made one person happy, it was all worth it.
- CYBORG: That sounds pretty good to me.
- I really like sound of that.
[GASPS] Wait's one doggone minute! How could you enjoy our shows? You don't like anything.
[LAUGHS] That's right! I hate it! But look on the bright side.
Your disaster of a show has given me an opportunity to finally destroy you once and for all.
And how are you going to do that? Oh, I've been able to dig up some scenes that were cut from your show.
And I'm going to show them to your audience.
You wouldn't dare! Those garbage scenes were removed for the reason.
Once your audience sees these terrible clips, they'll run away screaming.
Behold, scenes that were too terrible to be included in Teen Titans Go! [CLICKING] I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn.
[ALL LAUGHING] This fool thinks he's Viggo Mortensen.
Nice undies, Aragorn.
Oh, no.
Wrong clip.
This isn't about my shame.
It's about yours.
[STATIC] [FILM REEL WHIRRING] [BEEPING] All right, let's park this big boy.
And reverse! [ROBOT BEEPING] Easy now.
Easy Easy.
Eeeaaasyyy.
Easy.
Easy.
Easy.
[GLASS SHATTERING] Easy now.
Easy.
Easy.
[METAL SCRAPING] Easy.
Huh? [CAR ALARM BLARING] [LAUGHING] Nailed it.
- What? That wasn't so bad.
It was okay.
- Yeah, I was happy with how it turned out.
It's not ha-ha funny, but I laughed on the inside.
I thought that was a charming gag.
"Gag" is the keyword.
[RETCHING] [ALL EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST] Ugh, gross.
[SLURPS] Jokes about parking.
What could be more lame than that? Man, if you think that's gonna scare off our audience, you haven't watched our show.
[BEEPING] Huh, you're right.
Your audience seems to be hanging in there.
I guess they're used to this kind of trash.
But this next clip should do the trick.
Remember when you thought you could pull off some high-end 3D graphics? We were attempting to make the show look the very expensive.
But your budget is so low.
I thought we could save money by doing it ourselves.
Oh, really? Well, let's show your fans how that turned out.
[LAUGHING] - Wow.
- Whoa.
[ALL EXCLAIMING] We are existing in the third of dimensions.
I never knew we had so many sides.
Yo, we looks like them expensive Hollywood movies.
[LAUGHS] I bet the Walt Disney is shaking in his boots.
Are you kidding? This is awful.
We should've spent the $10 million and done it right.
[LAUGHING] There's nothing better in life than watching amateurs fail.
And it still cost us half a million dollars to animate that.
Our life savings, gone.
And your audience is gone, too.
Look! [ALL GASP] [MUSIC] Sure, we may lose a few fair weather fans, but people will always love us, because, at the end of the day, we're superheroes who save the world.
And we's be taking on villains on the daily.
Pfft.
Ha! Oh, yeah.
I forgot you guys "fight bad guys" sometimes.
Remember that time you're up against Brother Blood? It was supposed to be a big special event for your fans to enjoy.
Let's see how that one turned out.
[CLICKING] [STATIC] [BEEP] [MUSIC] [WHIRRING] A string of crimes.
Advanced technology stolen from each location.
Brother Blood is trying to build something with these parts.
But what? With this thingamabob he stole from the science lab Combined with all these other things, he could build [ALARM BEEPING] [BOTH GASP] ALL: A gigantic robot booty? [FARTS] No! He's gonna release a mega fart on Jump City with that nasty mind-control gas.
He will control us all with his foul stench.
Titans, we're going to need everything we've got to take down Brother Blood's giant butt.
[FARTS] [STATIC] You call that a special event? A giant robotic booty? Pathetic.
Hey, that booty was threatening to take over the world.
Yeah, that thing was a menace to society.
Well, you audience seems to disagree.
[ALL GASP] And I have a feeling your ratings will drop to zero after I reveal the oh-so dramatic and suspenseful way you ended up defeating Brother Blood's giant booty.
[CLICKS] [STATIC] [BROTHER BLOOD LAUGHS] You're too late, Titans.
Soon, I'll have covered the entire city with my mind-control gas.
We gotta do something.
Not too much longer now.
Enjoy your final moments.
[FARTING] [ALL COUGHING] - If only we had more time.
- Time That's it! We'll defeat Brother Blood by going back in time.
To the time machine.
[WHIRRING] [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING] [WHOOSHING] [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING] Not too much longer now.
Enjoy your final moments.
Now's our chance.
Raven, get us in there.
- [ALL GASP] Check it out.
- Wow.
Look, look, look.
It's us! What are you looking at? - The nothing.
- Nothing.
[LAUGHTER] [GIGGLING] You're all acting strange.
[SHUSHING] Be serious.
What are you up to? Nothing, man.
Check out my moves.
[GRUNTS] Look at this.
Ooh-hoo.
Look at this right here.
- Look at this.
- What kind of ploy is this? [MUFFLED LAUGHTER] They're gonna get him.
I mean, we're gonna get him.
Oh, here it comes.
Oh, here it comes.
They're coming.
[GRUNTS] What was that? Huh? What was that? Ha! [GRUNTS] It's there again, isn't it? I do not see an immediate threat.
Okay, I'm going to turn around slowly and What? How? ALL: Time travel.
ALL: Whoa.
[ALL CHEERING] [FIRE CRACKLING] Ugh, yikes.
So, that's it? The show's over? This was unsatisfactory, yo.
This ending lacked drama and suspense.
It can't be over.
Perhaps he is just doing the fake out.
Nah, he done.
Oh, yeah, it's over.
Here come them good credits.
[STATIC] Wow.
No wonder they decided not to air that pathetic excuse for a special.
I've never seen a more unsatisfactory climactic battle in my life.
But I suppose it's a fitting end to your unsatisfactory show.
Time to watch your remaining fans disappear.
[BEEPING] ALL: No! [LAUGHING] Finally, your garbage show got what it deserved.
Teen Titans Go! has been cancelled.
MALE VOICE: Cancelled.
What? It's over? We lost? I can't believe this is happening.
- Oh, the no.
- Hold on.
This ain't over yet, Control Freak.
Me and Beastie got a secret weapon up our sleeves.
Ha-ha.
What is it? More garbage clips? - No, this one's pure platinum, baby.
- Hit it.
It's poop time BEAST BOY: Ahh.
Plop plop goes the poop Right down the toilet I pooped in the toilet I poo-pooed in the toilet Plop plop goes the poop Right down the toilet I pooped in the toilet I poo-pooed in the toilet One poop, two poop Three poop, four Right into the toilet And here comes one more Poop in the toilet There's poo-poo in the toilet Poop in the toilet There's poo-poo in the toilet Poopity poopity Poop poop, baby Let's poopity poopity Poop poop, baby Let's poopity poopity poop Poopity poopity poop Poopity poopity poop Poop, baby Plop plop! Pfft.
Ha! You expect to get your fans back with a song about poop? Wait what? Huh? Look, our audience is coming back.
No, this can't be happening! [CHIMING] [ALL CHEERING] MALE VOICE: Renewed.
With this many people watching, Teen Titans Go! is going to be around for a long time.
[FRUSTRATED GRUNT] Freak out! One more time! Plop plop goes the poop Right down the toilet I pooped in the toilet I poo-pooed in the toilet Let's poopity poopity poop Poopity poopity poop Poopity poopity poop Poop, baby Plop plop!