Teen Titans Go! (2013) s05e26 Episode Script
Them Soviet Boys
1 [animal sounds.]
Go! [title music.]
T-E-E-N T-I-T-A-N-S Teen Titans let's go [scratching.]
T-TEEN, T-TEE-TEEN Teen Titans, go! [music.]
Yo, Cy! - You knows whats I want right now? - Yeah, I do.
[both.]
Streamed broccoli! Did someone say "steamed broccoli"? I wish to immerse the tiny green trees into the boiling water to soften their branches! Then it's your lucky day! I'm hungry.
How long is this gonna take? [Cyborg.]
To steam the broccoli to the perfect soft texture, five minutes.
Plus two additional minutes to bring that water to a boils.
So, we're talking seven minutes total.
[gasps.]
That is far too much of the time! Isn't there a faster way to do it? Well, we could do a montage.
- What is this "montage"? - It's a filmmaking technique that was pioneered by Soviet director Sergey Eisenstein to condense long, potentially-boring periods of repetitive action and suggest the passage of time.
[wind blowing.]
It's a way to skip through the boring stuff, yo.
Yes.
Whoo-hoo! Love skipping boring stuff! [whooping.]
Let's be like them Soviet boys and montage these broccolis, yo! [all.]
Montage! [instrumental music.]
[all.]
Whoo! Wow! The time seemed to pass in an instant! That's the power of a montage, baby.
Let us now demolish the mushy tree trunks.
[Robin.]
Titans, report to the front yard immediately! [all groaning.]
This better be important, fool.
We were about to eat some steamed broccoli.
We find ourselves in a dire situation.
Katarou, our old nemesis has returned.
Hold up.
Isn't Katarou your old nemesis? Yeah, I ain't gots nothing against this gentlemens.
We need to be on guard! Katarou is not only a master of martial arts, but a master of surprise.
[chomping.]
[all scream.]
Is it him? [chomping.]
[gulps.]
- No, but it could've been.
- Well, call me when he shows up and I'll hit him with the Old Shablamo.
[thumping.]
[explodes.]
Your Old Shablamo will be useless against Katarou.
To defeat him, you will have to become martial arts masters.
We'll start with the most majestic move in all of martial arts, the crane kick.
You talking about that move from Karate Kid? We love kicking! [all yelling.]
[Cyborg.]
Okay, kick, kick.
Whoa-ha! Stop that! You wouldn't even be able to take down Billy Zabka with that garbage.
- Then, teach us, oh, sensei.
- Becoming a martial arts master takes months, if not years, of dedicated focus.
That is far too much of the time! And I wants to kick some fools right now! Ha! There has to be a faster way to become martial arts masters.
No shortcuts.
We need to work hard until we're skilled enough to defeat Katarou.
- What about a montage? - Oh, yeah.
That's how Daniel san learned it.
This isn't a movie.
That is not a thing you can do.
[all.]
Montage! [music.]
[all grunting.]
[all yelling.]
[grunting.]
[screeching.]
[explodes.]
Joy! We have learned the kung of the fu of the panda.
And in under a minute, baby.
Boo-yah! [sighs.]
That's not possible.
There are no shortcuts! You keep saying that, but we's just proved you wrong there, sensei.
- Wah! Bird kick in your face! - Ahhh! [all yelling.]
Hey.
Now that we're all doing this montaging, we can probably get to all those other things we haven't had time for.
I can finally get around to cleaning up the tower.
Ooh, I have always wanted to learn the French.
I's been wanting to learn how to do some of that good computer programming so I's could be like them rich nerds.
And I've been waiting to fix the T-Car for months.
Titans, do you want the satisfaction that comes with putting in the time to achieve your goals? Or do you want instant gratification? - The instant gratification, please.
- Let's montage this piece.
[all.]
Montage! [up-tempo instrumental music.]
[inaudible.]
[all cheering.]
[Cyborg.]
All right! Boo-yah! - Where have you guys been? - Montaging, baby! Yeah, we's done montaged all our importants business.
After that we montaged every episode of every show on TV.
And all of the kitten cat videos on the Internets.
[piano music.]
[explodes.]
Katarou could appear at any [alarm blaring.]
[Robin.]
Looks like Katarou has infiltrated the tower.
Titans, go! [alarms blaring.]
[music.]
[all scream.]
[wings flutter.]
[all gasp.]
[coos.]
[farts.]
Not him.
[metallic clang.]
[all gasp.]
[instrumental music.]
- Katarou, our old nemesis.
- Your old nemesis.
I've got nothing against your friends.
They actually seem pretty cool.
Huh.
You seems like a cool dude yourself.
I am very cool.
Ooh.
We should do the hanging-of-the-out.
Stop being friendly.
We are mortal enemies.
Let's talk after.
Maybe we'll check out a movie or something.
You don't stand a chance, Katarou.
- Before you are five martial arts masters.
- That's right.
We montaged through our training and now we are super-deadly.
Titans, go! [Titans yelling.]
[all grunt.]
Martial arts masters? [laughs.]
They couldn't defeat Billy Zabka with that garbage.
- [all.]
Oh! - Oh, mans.
Them karate moves we learnt in the montage ain'ts working.
How could doing the shortcuts left us so-the-unprepared? It's the montages.
Don't you see what's happened, Titans? - Sounds like you're gonna tell us.
- Yes.
I will explain in full detail how we came to this point, and why your use of montages was a mistake.
This will take a while.
We ain'ts wanna listen to a long explanation.
Ooh, I have the idea for the shortcut.
Wait, if you just listen - [all.]
Montage! - No more montages! Now, listen up.
Raven, you only cleaned the part of the window we saw you clean in the montage.
Cyborg, all you did was pretend to tighten some bolts.
[crashes.]
Beast Boy, the computer you were typing at doesn't even work! [rats belching.]
And, Starfire, you only learned three words of French.
[inaudible.]
Oh, I see now.
Anything we skipped past doing in our montage never actually got done.
It was just the illusion of results, but real results come from real work.
[music.]
We see now there are none of the shortcuts.
And we owe you the apology.
No time! We still have to stop Katarou.
- But how can we possibly defeat him? - With a crane kick.
Uh, we never learned how, remember? I will teach you properly this time.
How will we learn it in time to defeat the Katarou.
With another filmmaking device, a dissolve.
It's another way to show the passage of time without - the flashiness of a montage.
- Can we get on with this? Don't worry, Katarou, we are going to defeat you very, very slowly.
[groans.]
Okay, since, this is our first crane-kick class, please introduce yourselves and tell us why you're here Let's start off with some basic Oh, stretches! [Cyborg grunts.]
- Why is this taking so long? - No shortcuts.
Ugh! Fine, just hurry up.
How long have we been doing this, Beast Boy? Point the toes.
Point the toes! [crying.]
Almost there, Titans.
Congratulations, Titans.
You perfected the crane kick.
And did it without shortcuts.
The time has come, Katarou.
[wheezing.]
Titans, go! [Titans yelling.]
[wind blowing.]
[Titans continue yelling.]
[all.]
Hyah! Hyah! [Cyborg.]
Hyah! [laughter.]
[Cyborg.]
Boo-yah! - Yes! - Yes!
Go! [title music.]
T-E-E-N T-I-T-A-N-S Teen Titans let's go [scratching.]
T-TEEN, T-TEE-TEEN Teen Titans, go! [music.]
Yo, Cy! - You knows whats I want right now? - Yeah, I do.
[both.]
Streamed broccoli! Did someone say "steamed broccoli"? I wish to immerse the tiny green trees into the boiling water to soften their branches! Then it's your lucky day! I'm hungry.
How long is this gonna take? [Cyborg.]
To steam the broccoli to the perfect soft texture, five minutes.
Plus two additional minutes to bring that water to a boils.
So, we're talking seven minutes total.
[gasps.]
That is far too much of the time! Isn't there a faster way to do it? Well, we could do a montage.
- What is this "montage"? - It's a filmmaking technique that was pioneered by Soviet director Sergey Eisenstein to condense long, potentially-boring periods of repetitive action and suggest the passage of time.
[wind blowing.]
It's a way to skip through the boring stuff, yo.
Yes.
Whoo-hoo! Love skipping boring stuff! [whooping.]
Let's be like them Soviet boys and montage these broccolis, yo! [all.]
Montage! [instrumental music.]
[all.]
Whoo! Wow! The time seemed to pass in an instant! That's the power of a montage, baby.
Let us now demolish the mushy tree trunks.
[Robin.]
Titans, report to the front yard immediately! [all groaning.]
This better be important, fool.
We were about to eat some steamed broccoli.
We find ourselves in a dire situation.
Katarou, our old nemesis has returned.
Hold up.
Isn't Katarou your old nemesis? Yeah, I ain't gots nothing against this gentlemens.
We need to be on guard! Katarou is not only a master of martial arts, but a master of surprise.
[chomping.]
[all scream.]
Is it him? [chomping.]
[gulps.]
- No, but it could've been.
- Well, call me when he shows up and I'll hit him with the Old Shablamo.
[thumping.]
[explodes.]
Your Old Shablamo will be useless against Katarou.
To defeat him, you will have to become martial arts masters.
We'll start with the most majestic move in all of martial arts, the crane kick.
You talking about that move from Karate Kid? We love kicking! [all yelling.]
[Cyborg.]
Okay, kick, kick.
Whoa-ha! Stop that! You wouldn't even be able to take down Billy Zabka with that garbage.
- Then, teach us, oh, sensei.
- Becoming a martial arts master takes months, if not years, of dedicated focus.
That is far too much of the time! And I wants to kick some fools right now! Ha! There has to be a faster way to become martial arts masters.
No shortcuts.
We need to work hard until we're skilled enough to defeat Katarou.
- What about a montage? - Oh, yeah.
That's how Daniel san learned it.
This isn't a movie.
That is not a thing you can do.
[all.]
Montage! [music.]
[all grunting.]
[all yelling.]
[grunting.]
[screeching.]
[explodes.]
Joy! We have learned the kung of the fu of the panda.
And in under a minute, baby.
Boo-yah! [sighs.]
That's not possible.
There are no shortcuts! You keep saying that, but we's just proved you wrong there, sensei.
- Wah! Bird kick in your face! - Ahhh! [all yelling.]
Hey.
Now that we're all doing this montaging, we can probably get to all those other things we haven't had time for.
I can finally get around to cleaning up the tower.
Ooh, I have always wanted to learn the French.
I's been wanting to learn how to do some of that good computer programming so I's could be like them rich nerds.
And I've been waiting to fix the T-Car for months.
Titans, do you want the satisfaction that comes with putting in the time to achieve your goals? Or do you want instant gratification? - The instant gratification, please.
- Let's montage this piece.
[all.]
Montage! [up-tempo instrumental music.]
[inaudible.]
[all cheering.]
[Cyborg.]
All right! Boo-yah! - Where have you guys been? - Montaging, baby! Yeah, we's done montaged all our importants business.
After that we montaged every episode of every show on TV.
And all of the kitten cat videos on the Internets.
[piano music.]
[explodes.]
Katarou could appear at any [alarm blaring.]
[Robin.]
Looks like Katarou has infiltrated the tower.
Titans, go! [alarms blaring.]
[music.]
[all scream.]
[wings flutter.]
[all gasp.]
[coos.]
[farts.]
Not him.
[metallic clang.]
[all gasp.]
[instrumental music.]
- Katarou, our old nemesis.
- Your old nemesis.
I've got nothing against your friends.
They actually seem pretty cool.
Huh.
You seems like a cool dude yourself.
I am very cool.
Ooh.
We should do the hanging-of-the-out.
Stop being friendly.
We are mortal enemies.
Let's talk after.
Maybe we'll check out a movie or something.
You don't stand a chance, Katarou.
- Before you are five martial arts masters.
- That's right.
We montaged through our training and now we are super-deadly.
Titans, go! [Titans yelling.]
[all grunt.]
Martial arts masters? [laughs.]
They couldn't defeat Billy Zabka with that garbage.
- [all.]
Oh! - Oh, mans.
Them karate moves we learnt in the montage ain'ts working.
How could doing the shortcuts left us so-the-unprepared? It's the montages.
Don't you see what's happened, Titans? - Sounds like you're gonna tell us.
- Yes.
I will explain in full detail how we came to this point, and why your use of montages was a mistake.
This will take a while.
We ain'ts wanna listen to a long explanation.
Ooh, I have the idea for the shortcut.
Wait, if you just listen - [all.]
Montage! - No more montages! Now, listen up.
Raven, you only cleaned the part of the window we saw you clean in the montage.
Cyborg, all you did was pretend to tighten some bolts.
[crashes.]
Beast Boy, the computer you were typing at doesn't even work! [rats belching.]
And, Starfire, you only learned three words of French.
[inaudible.]
Oh, I see now.
Anything we skipped past doing in our montage never actually got done.
It was just the illusion of results, but real results come from real work.
[music.]
We see now there are none of the shortcuts.
And we owe you the apology.
No time! We still have to stop Katarou.
- But how can we possibly defeat him? - With a crane kick.
Uh, we never learned how, remember? I will teach you properly this time.
How will we learn it in time to defeat the Katarou.
With another filmmaking device, a dissolve.
It's another way to show the passage of time without - the flashiness of a montage.
- Can we get on with this? Don't worry, Katarou, we are going to defeat you very, very slowly.
[groans.]
Okay, since, this is our first crane-kick class, please introduce yourselves and tell us why you're here Let's start off with some basic Oh, stretches! [Cyborg grunts.]
- Why is this taking so long? - No shortcuts.
Ugh! Fine, just hurry up.
How long have we been doing this, Beast Boy? Point the toes.
Point the toes! [crying.]
Almost there, Titans.
Congratulations, Titans.
You perfected the crane kick.
And did it without shortcuts.
The time has come, Katarou.
[wheezing.]
Titans, go! [Titans yelling.]
[wind blowing.]
[Titans continue yelling.]
[all.]
Hyah! Hyah! [Cyborg.]
Hyah! [laughter.]
[Cyborg.]
Boo-yah! - Yes! - Yes!