Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s03e01 Episode Script

9050-001 - Beneath These Streets

Teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell turtle power they're the world's most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell and they're green Hey, get a grip.
When the evil shredder attacks these turtle boys don't cut him no slack teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool but rude Gimme a break! Michelangelo is a party dude Party! Teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell turtle power lions gate entertainment hey, dudes.
Anyone for a slice of granola and licorice pizza? No, thanks, Michelangelo.
We're still stuffed from the peanut butter and pickle pizza you made for lunch.
Hmm.
Is something wrong, master splinter? Indeed there is, Leonardo.
Why are the four of you not doing your daily katas? We thought we'd take time off, and--oh! What Donatello is trying to say, sensei, is that we thought we deserved a little vacation.
Ha-eee! Saka-ju-wee-ah! Whoa! Master! You are losing your fighting edge, my turtles.
Were it shredder who attacked you, he would not be so lenient.
Aw, come on, master splinter, we already sent chrome-dome and krang to the earth's core.
Yeah, right.
Those dudes are totally dusted.
Without positive proof, it would be unwise to assume that shredder and krang have been vanquished.
Beyond that, may I remind you that you are still crime fighters, and that the streets of this city are still filled with crime.
I suggest doing each ninja exercise twice.
You obviously need the practice.
Well, you heard master splinter.
Let's do it! SHREDDER: Blast it, krang! When will we be able to return to the surface? We are very low on power, and we need to replace a number of vital electronic components.
Also, the protein silicon brain of the main computer has an owee thanks to your bumbling incompetence.
The problem is, how are we going to fix it? I know of something that might help, but it's on the surface of the earth.
You'll have to go get it.
I've modified the antimatter cannons to bore holes to the surface.
These pneumatic modules will carry you there.
It won't be a pleasant journey, but Nothing could be more unpleasant than being stuck here with you.
Rock steady! Bebop! Uh, what's up, boss? We're going back to the surface.
And if we're very lucky, we might get to dispose of the turtles while we're there.
Oh! A pleasure trip! Oh, man.
I am one tired turtle.
Yeah, tell me about it.
Splinter's really working us to the Max.
Ohh! Six hours of exercises a day! And now we're out patrolling the streets.
The city seems pretty quiet tonight.
RAPHAEL: It's a good thing.
Right now I couldn't fight a parking ticket.
Hey, dudes, scope out the all-night theater.
DONATELLO: All right! A kung fu movie marathon! Let's go check it out.
Master splinter might not like that idea.
Aw, come on, Leonardo, we deserve a night off.
Well Ok.
Did you say 4? Yeah, that's right, lady--4, like this.
And I thought what we had on the screen was weird.
Hey, guys, let's turn off our turtlecoms.
Hey, wait a minute, Donatello.
What if-- come on, bud, the world can live without us for one night.
We deserve a break.
[COUGHING.]
Oh, I hated ridin' in that thing! Ah-choo! Plays heck with my sinuses.
Oh, stop complaining, you cretins, or I'll send you back down the shaft without the module! The turtles are late in returning from their patrol.
No response.
I hope nothing has happened to them.
[BEEP BEEP BEEP.]
And where do you think you're going? The press conference is about to start.
Right, Vernon.
I, uh I just have to powder my nose.
Yes, splinter? What is it? April, have you seen the turtles tonight? No, I haven't.
Are they all right? That is what I'm trying to determine.
Let me know if I can be of help.
I've got to sign off now.
I'm covering a story at Metro hospital.
I don't care how shiny your nose is.
They're about to start without us.
Whatever you say, Vernon.
Women reporters! Ugh! Ladies and gentlemen of the press, this is a prototype of the new medi-laser gun.
It's the most advanced instrument known to man for healing.
And it's just what we need to heal the protein silicon computer.
Take it! I'll take that.
And you can take this.
April to turtles! Come in, turtles! Yeah! Go get him! Ow! Yeah! They've stolen the medi-laser prototype! It's the only one in the world! Oh! I can't reach the turtles.
Splinter, come in.
What is it, April? Something terrible has happened.
MICHELANGELO: Man! That was one fabuloso flick.
Yeah! You know, somebody ought to make a movie about us.
Teenage mutant ninja turtles.
It's got a nice ring to it.
We better check in with master splinter.
Hey, like, what's the rush? Let's scarf some pizza first, huh? What do you think might have happened to the turtles, splinter? Either their communicators are broken or they've turned them off.
POLICE DISPATCHER: Attention, all units.
Strange mutants reported in the downtown area-- a rhino and a warthog.
Investigate immediately.
That can only be bebop and rock steady.
Just as I feared-- shredder is alive and back on earth.
We must find him and stop him! [SNIFF SNIFF.]
Someone in that building has just come from a hospital.
How can you tell? My keen sense of smell detects the odor of disinfectant.
Also, that ambulance is double-parked in front of it.
It's got to be shredder! Come on! April, wait.
It will be dangerous.
Stay here.
Oh, do we have to ride in this thing, boss? I'd use this medi-laser on your brain if it weren't such a small target! I suggest you return that instrument to its proper owners, shredder! Get him! Arrgh! Ow! Ooh! Ugh! You are quick, old one, but a laser blast is even quicker.
Aah! Reversing the polarity of the medi-laser makes it as deadly as it can be healing.
Rock steady! Bebop! Come on, you incompetent buffoons! We could've beat him, but he fights fair.
Splinter! April.
Thank goodness you're here.
What's wrong with master splinter? Shredder did this.
Shredder? Shredder? Shredder? With a new medi-laser weapon.
He's in a coma.
It looks like the medi-laser short-circuited his brain functions.
If that's the case, maybe another blast at reverse frequency will save him.
Oh, if only we'd obeyed him instead of goofing off! Yeah, we never should've gone to that movie.
Or stopped for a pizza.
Even though it was delicious.
There'll be plenty of time to blame ourselves later.
Right now, we've got to save splinter.
For that, we'll need the medi-laser.
Shredder's got it.
Then we'll find him-- if we have to look under every rock in the city! [COUGHING.]
So, finally you're here? And you've brought the medi-laser.
This will heal the protein silicon brain of the central computer in no time! You're welcome.
Aah! Whoa! Aah! Blast! Was that really necessary? The directional control module is missing.
I can't aim the medi-laser without it.
Oh, great! It must have broken off during my battle with splinter.
We're returning to the surface.
Aw, gee, boss, we're tired.
Yeah! How come we got to go with you again? Because I love your company and because we might run into the turtles this time! LEONARDO: Well, so far, no good.
Not a sign of shredder or his mutants anywhere.
Hey, don't look now, compadres, but I think we've hit El jackpot-o Grande.
DONATELLO: It's shredder! RAPHAEL: Let's do it! [STAMMERING.]
blazes do you think you're doing? Oh, sorry, sir.
We thought you were someone else.
Uh, yeah.
I guess it's that funny cape you're wearing.
What now, fearless leader? I don't know, Raphael.
I guess we head back to the sewers and think of a new strategy.
Any luck, guys? Zip.
Zero.
Nada.
If only we had some kind of clue or something to use as bait for shredder.
Hey, will this help? I found it on the basement floor where splinter was.
Will it ever! It's a directional control module.
The medi-laser is useless without it.
That means shredder's got to come back for it.
Exact-a-mundo! And when he does, we'll be on him like cheese on a pizza.
[COUGHING.]
How come we always got to travel tourist? Oh, will you shut up and find the component! Right, boss.
Ow! Ow! Watch it, dipstick! You watch it, lame-o! Why can't I find competent help? It ain't here, boss.
Hmm.
Splinter's body is also missing, which means the turtles probably found both him and the module.
It'll take forever to search the sewers for them, but perhaps there's an easier way.
Uh, what way's that, boss? It involves you two doing what you do best-- mindless violence and destruction.
Ooh, I like the sound of that.
Yeah.
Me, too.
Will you fellas calm down? Shredder's bound to show up sooner or later.
Yeah, but when? It's been hours.
Splinter might get worse.
He might even[GULP.]
[BEEP BEEP.]
I read you, Raphael.
What's up? I am, about 500 feet up, and I'm looking at trouble right here in river city.
Rock steady and bebop are on a rampage in the park.
We're on our way.
Hey, Michelangelo, how come you're not shouting "cowabunga"? Well, to be honest, I'm getting kind of bored with it.
Hey, how about this? Yabba dabba-- nah.
It's just not you.
This is the part of our job I really love.
Yeah.
Now to break up that little party.
Turtle power! Well, well.
Look what crawled out from under a rock! Whoa! Hey! [MUMBLING.]
Heads up, guys.
This sneezing powder ought to blow them away.
Ah-choo! Ah-choo! Let's make mincemeat out of these mutants! Come on.
Let's-- ah-ah-ah-ah Ah-choo! Get out of here! They dove into the bay.
After them! Dive into that yuck? Forget it.
Donatello's right.
We won't be able to tell them from the rest of the garbage.
I'm afraid you're right.
We better go back to the lair.
Oh ho ho! My plan is working perfectly.
We'll follow them back to their hideout and get the missing module.
Ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah-- choo! And once I have it, this gas grenade will dispose of them once and for all! RAPHAEL: We're almost home.
Hey! Maybe splinter will be feeling better, huh? I doubt it, Michelangelo.
Only the medi-laser can help him recover.
Hold everything! Shredder and his goons are behind us.
[CHUCKLING.]
Oh, boy, just when you thought it was safe to go back in the sewers, huh? They must be after this.
Come out and face us, shredder, man against turtle! The module! This should do the trick.
A gas grenade! All right! Home run, my man.
Get them, you fools! I must have that module.
One module coming up.
Boy, you guys could use a bath.
Hey! [COUGHING.]
Whoa! Whoa! Yo, shredder.
Try one of these sais on for size.
What? [COUGHING.]
I'll take that And this, too! Not so fast, metal-mouth! Whoa! I believe you wanted this.
Great.
Now we've got the medi-laser, but shredder's got the module.
Boy, oh, boy.
Some days, it just doesn't pay to come out of your shell.
Donatello, can you rig up some sort of substitute for the module? I suppose I could try.
Well, let's hurry.
Master splinter is running out of time! Krang, I'll need reinforcements.
Send me a dozen of my foot soldiers.
A dozen to handle four adolescent amphibians? Do you want the medi-laser, or don't you? Oh, very well, but two foot soldiers are all I can spare.
Krang out.
What do we have to use those robots for? Yeah.
Brr! They're so ugly.
Wait.
What's this? They've built a new medi-laser to replace the one I stole.
Perfect.
I'll steal the new medi-laser.
That way, I won't have to deal with those blasted turtles.
Reporter, on TV: While the cost of living index has increased 3.
2%.
Oh, it's no use.
I can't get it to work.
And in local news, Metro hospital has just completed a second medi-laser to replace the stolen prototype.
Whoa! You hear that, bros? Maybe we could use that one instead.
And I'm betting that shredder's got the same idea.
Come on! We'd better get to the hospital before he does! The medi-laser is ours! Now let's get it back to krang before something else goes wrong.
BEBOP: Don't look now, boss, but I think something just did.
Blast! Back to the sewers, quickly! What are they, nuts? Hiding from us in the sewers is like trying to hide a pizza under Michelangelo's nose.
LEONARDO: They must have some kind of getaway craft down there.
Let's move! No place left to run, shredder.
You're trapped.
Ha ha ha.
On the contrary, my aggressive amphibians.
You're the ones who are trapped.
Attack! TURTLES: Let's kick some shell! Hey! Uhh! Whoa! Oh, no, not again! Say bye-bye, shell-back.
Huh? Hey! No fair! Give us the medi-laser, shredder.
An excellent suggestion.
Back at you, shredder.
Aah! Aah! Aah! The medi-laser! Grab it! No problem-o.
No! I'll be back! Nice save, Michelangelo.
Hey, let's get back to master splinter on the double.
Ok, I've set it on healing frequency.
Here goes.
Turtles.
April.
What has happened? We'll tell you later.
Welcome back, sensei.
I'll return this to the hospital on my way back to file the story.
Meanwhile, I hope you learned a lesson from this.
We did, April.
One can never relax in the battle against evil.
Yeah.
Also, one can't eat 12 pizzas without regretting it the next day.
Ohh Shredder, you bungling idiot! I should have known better than to listen to you.
And another thing-- wait.
What are you doing? Stop! Sometimes I don't know who I detest more-- the turtles or you! Ohh.
Argh.
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