Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s05e18 Episode Script

[theme song.]
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell And they're green Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Hey, get a grip.
When the evil Shredder attacks These Turtle boys don't cut him no slack Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool, but rude Gimme a break.
Michelangelo is a party dude Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power [Cheering on TV.]
[Michelangelo.]
Check it out, amigos-- The latest issue of Alien Invaders.
Yeah, that's wonderful news.
Now, can we watch Cube of Misfortune in peace, please? [buzzer sounds on TV.]
[cheering.]
[buzzer sounds.]
[Raphael.]
He got hit with an "M"! Oh, don't take it! Go for a vowel! By the way, I saw our little bud Zack at the comic book store.
Zack? We haven't seen him in a while.
What's he doing? [Michelangelo.]
Same as me-- Reading Alien Invaders comics.
Wow! [tires screeching.]
This is the best issue [shouting.]
of Alien Invaders yet! Invasion of the Bug-Eyed Terminators.
Awesome! What? Oh, no! It's the bug-eyed terminators.
They're here.
I gotta warn somebody.
[phone ringing.]
Police precinct.
Sergeant O'Flahrety speaking.
The bug-eyed terminators have landed! They've invaded a building at the corner of 5th and Robertson! [stammering.]
The terminators? We're on our way, me boy.
And you stay away from them.
Attention all units in the area of 5th and Robertson.
An alleged invasion of aliens has been reported in the vicinity.
Bug-eyed aliens? Sounds pretty silly to me.
Not to me.
You should have seen my date last night.
Let's check it out, anyway.
There may be a story.
[tires screeching.]
[tires screeching.]
[siren wailing.]
The aliens are in there! Zack? What are you doing here? Oh, hi, April, Irma.
I'm the one one who reported the invasion.
Look! The police nabbed those aliens.
Get this on tape, Irma.
Huh? They're not bug-eyed aliens.
They're bug-busters.
Swell.
We've scooped the other stations with a story about an invasion of pest exterminators.
[April on TV.]
At this moment, the police are talking to the boy, Zack, who called in this report of an alien invasion, apparently as a prank.
But they looked just like Martians! Martians? What's gotten into Zack? Well, offhand, I'd say the latest issue of Alien Invasion comics.
It appears Zack's imagination has gotten the better of him.
Perhaps a talk with our young friend would help.
Tubuloso idea, sensei.
I'll give the micro-dude a call.
[Zack.]
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles said they'd meet us here.
I guess we're early.
Swell.
I'll go grab a pizza, little bro.
You get a table.
[gasps.]
Alien Robots! Robots are invading the mall! You gotta warn people! Sure, kid.
First thing after lunch.
Why won't anyone believe me? Excuse me, sir.
I need your piano.
[gasps.]
You robots can't invade this mall without a fight! Look what you've done to our robots.
Fleagle's Department Store display is ruined! Shop at Fleagle's.
Shop at Fleagle's.
[pitch dropping.]
Shop at Fleagle's.
Uh-oh.
Zack said he'd meet us here at the pizza parlor.
Look, there he is in that crowd of people.
[Crowd chattering.]
Just wait till Mom and Dad hear about this! But they look just like the robots in Invasion From The Planet Androidia.
Honest.
Yeah, robots you'll be paying for out of your allowance for the next 150 years.
Another bogus alarm? The dude is in major trouble.
[Donatello.]
What is making Zack act like this? [ Michelangelo.]
And when's he gonna stop? Not real soon, or this is gonna be a real short episode.
[static.]
Zack calling the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Yeah, this is Donatello.
What's up, Zack? I just saw alien slime monsters coming out of an excavation on Hill Street.
Oh, come on, Zack.
Another one? Really, I did see 'em.
Honest.
Here, see for yourselves.
Holy guacamole! They do look like slime monsters! Maybe this time Zack is telling the truth.
Boy, you made it just in time, Turtles.
The slime monsters are just coming out now! [Turtles.]
Whoa! Zack is right! Those are slime monsters! I'd recognize them anywhere after reading Alien Invaders.
We'll stop 'em.
Right! Let's hose 'em! Uhh! Uhh! Hold it! Hold it! They're not slime monsters.
They're city tunnel workers.
[grunting.]
Uh, sorry guys.
Ha ha.
Our mistake.
Hey, anytime, guys.
We needed to clean up, anyway.
Gee, fellas, I'm sorry.
I could have sworn they were slime monsters.
Right.
Just like those alien robots in the mall? Oh.
You saw that, huh? Yeah.
We also saw your busting of the bug busters.
Look, Zack, we appreciate your trying to help, but this is one false alarm too many.
Yeah, you're right.
I guess I don't deserve to be a Turtle anymore.
[sighs.]
Maybe it's for the best.
Just until you get your imagination under control.
Hey, you'll always be our fifth Turtle, micro-dude.
[sniffle.]
I--I'm sorry.
Poor little bud.
[Zack.]
But, Mom, Dad! Anyone could have made the same mistake.
Once is a mistake, Zack dear.
But three times? That's why we're putting you in this military school, son.
We don't want to do it, Zack.
We just didn't have any choice.
[sighs.]
Our only hope is they contain this wild imagination of yours.
I'm Colonel Clout, the Commandant.
Welcome to Ten-Hut Military Academy.
And you must be Zack.
Well, I'm sure you'll be very happy here.
Be sure and write us, son.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
You will enjoy your stay here! And that's an order! Yes, Colonel.
Sergeant Rambo! Yeah, Colonel Clout? Show recruit Zack here to his quarters.
Sure thing, Colonel.
Forward march! Hup 2, 3, 4.
Hup 2, 3, 4.
Recruit Zack, this here is your bunk.
You gotta keep it neat at all times, you understand? Yes, sir, Sergeant Rambo! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Wow.
Is that Rambo guy always so uptight? [robot-like.]
Sergeant Rambo is a wonderful man.
Colonel Clout is a wonderful leader.
Ten-Hut Military Academy is a wonderful school.
Is he for real? Aw, don't mind him.
All the kids are like that.
[Zack.]
What, like a bunch of zombies? Right.
They've been that way since I got here yesterday.
Oh.
My name's Eric.
Hi.
I'm Zack.
Listen, let's stick together, okay? And maybe we won't turn intothem.
Deal.
Hey, Walt.
It's Donatello.
How's Zack doing? Hi, Donatello.
Zack's not here.
My folks enrolled him in military school.
Military school? Gee.
Well, uh, okay.
Bye, Walt.
Gee, the poor little guy.
I'm hungry.
I wonder where a guy can scrounge a late-night snack in this place.
The kitchen ought to be around here somewhere.
[Man.]
Hold him down, Wingnut! [Second man.]
Well, give me a hand, Screwloose! Wingnut? Screwloose? Those voices belong to Colonel Clout and Sergeant Rambo.
Let me go, you jerks! Sure, kid! In a minute! Whew.
This kid tires me out.
I'm taking off this monkey suit.
Good idea.
Ah! It feels a lot better.
Wha--What are you guys? Oh, no! They're aliens! You're a bat-- and a mosquito.
We'd rather think of ourselves as Wingnut And Screwloose! We're from the planet Flagenon, and we're here to conquer Earth.
We've taken over this military school to train young recruits like you to help us.
And that's all the exposition you're gonna get out of me, young man! You guys are totally wacko! Ha! That's what they all say.
Switch on the Mind Changer, Screwloose.
[evil laugh.]
[grunting.]
How do you feel, human? [robot-like.]
Ten-Hut Military Academy is a wonderful school.
Sergeant Rambo is a wonderful sergeant.
Colonel Clout is a wonderful colonel.
Oh, no! They brainwashed Eric! Good! Another dedicated soldier for our army.
Can we go check out our weapons now, Screwloose? I really like doing that.
Sure, Wingnut! Let's do it! Eric, you can go back to bed now.
Yes, Colonel.
[wings buzzing.]
I gotta get outta here before they turn me into a zombie, too.
No! As a former member of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, it's my duty to defend Earth against these invaders! Wingnut, with these weapons and the soldiers we've recruited, we'll soon rule the earth.
These roach-bots will eat through metal walls in seconds.
Good think we keep them in wooden crates.
Yeah.
I can't wait to use this disintegrator bazooka.
[Wingnut.]
Will you stop playing with that thing! [Screwloose.]
Aw, you never let me have any fun.
Come on! We gotta turn that new kid Zack into a zombie.
They're not making me a zombie.
Get back, you-- you robot cockroach! Hey! Gimme back my Turtle mask! Now there's a cockroach robot on the loose.
I better warn the police.
What's that? An alien invasion? With giant cockroaches? Say, aren't you the kid who called us about the alien terminators? Oops, sorry.
Wrong number.
The police will never believe me.
I gotta call the Turtles! It's a good thing I know their unlisted number.
[telephone rings.]
[all snoring.]
[ring.]
[All.]
What? What? [groggy.]
Hello? Leonardo, this is Zack.
I'm at Ten-Hut Military Academy, and it's been taken over by aliens! Oh, Zack.
Haven't you gotten into enough trouble with these stories about alien invaders? Yeah, I know, I know.
But you gotta believe me this time, fellas! They're planning to-- Hey! Let go! Hello? Hello, Zack? [dial tone.]
Something's happened to him.
It sounded like somebody cut him off.
Maybe this time it's for real.
Yeah, and maybe I'm the Tooth Fairy.
Just to make sure, Donatello, you and Michelangelo go to Ten-Hut Military Academy and check things out.
[Screwloose laughs.]
Let go of me, you creeps! You were trying to warn somebody about us, weren't ya? What if I was? Well, it's too late! By tomorrow, every soldier in this installation will be programmed, armed, and ready to take over this puny planet, and no one can stop us! Oh, yeah? The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles can! Wingnut, take young Zack to the Mind Changer.
He'll be the final soldier for our invasion of Earth.
You'll never get away with this, you alien creeps! Oh? I think we can change your mind! [laughs.]
April, Irma, go to 10th and Main.
There's a giant metal-eating cockroach terrorizing workers in a high-rise construction site.
[April.]
Right, chief.
We're on it.
Another crazy assignment.
How are we supposed to locate this giant bug, anyway? Something tells me we already have.
Those construction workers are running away from something.
Sounds like a plan to me.
Let's go see what it is.
Eww! That is one big bug! It's also one big scoop! Oh, no.
It sees us.
April! It's coming this way! Good.
We can use some close-up footage.
Uhh! Uhh! April! Help me! I've fallen, and I can't get up! Hang on, Irma! I'll think of something! [Irma screams.]
But what? [screams.]
[Irma screaming.]
[screams.]
April! Help me! Don't go away, Irma! I'll be right back! I hope I can figure out how to do this.
[screams.]
Got it! That should hold it until the police arrive.
Hold on.
That looks like Zack's Turtle mask.
I better contact the Turtles.
That is Zack's mask.
Thanks for alerting us, April.
Zack? Where is he? He's at Ten-Hut Military Academy, and we're headed there right now.
[Screwloose laughs.]
Now we will create the final soldier for our army of conquest.
No, wait! Don't! [laughs.]
[door buzzer.]
Oh! Go see who that is, Wingnut.
Right, Screwloose.
Put on your disguise, numbskull! Oh, yeah.
I forgot.
[buzzer.]
The service is kinda slow here.
Yeah, and where are all the kids? Yeah? What do you want? Uh, we'd like to see one of your students.
His name is Zack.
Well, you can't.
He's, uh he's on a special training mission.
Now go away! Whoa, what a totally rude dude.
Donatello! Michelangelo! Oh, no, you don't! Donatello! Michelangelo! Help! [Michelangelo.]
Did you just hear something? It was probably nothing.
Come on.
Let's go.
[doors close, engine starts.]
[laughs.]
Your friends are gone! And now to proceed with our plans! Wingnut, put him into the Mind Changer! Right, Screwloose.
Soon you will be under our control.
Hey, if it's all right, I'll just hang out for a while.
Why are we splitting, compadre? I know I heard Zack call for help.
Yeah, but I wanted them to think we were leaving.
Whoa! Mondo notion, dude! So what's the plan? Well, since we can't get in the front, we go to the back.
[tires screeching.]
I figure we'll use the Turtle Van's catapult to get ourselves over the fence.
That sounds good, especially the over part.
Ready or not, here we come! Whoa! Whoa! Uhh! Uhh! You know, we could have just climbed over.
I got a feeling there's something weird going down up there.
No wonder.
Look at all the power they're using.
I'll shut it down.
That'll buy us time.
[buzzing.]
Hey, let's check out what's happening to our little bud.
Hey, something happened to the power.
Well, don't just hang there, go fix it! Ow! Oh, I wish I knew how other bats do that.
Holy guacamole! Zack was right.
They really are aliens from another planet.
And ugly ones at that.
I'll contact the other dudes.
Oops.
Okay.
The power's back on.
Uhh! Earthling intruders! [alarm.]
Now what's going on! Did you see that? A giant mosquito.
They must have some humongous frogs in that dude's swamp.
Michelangelo! Donatello! Don't sweat it, bud.
We'll get you out of there.
Look out! [both.]
Hey! Let go! Ha ha ha! The intruders! Are you from another planet, too? They're the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and you'd better let 'em go! Oh.
The ones who were going to rescue you? [laughs.]
You two will make fine soldiers in my invasion army.
Invasion army? They've turned all the kids into mindless zombies.
I wonder if they did it by letting them watch too much television.
No, they did it with this machine: a mind changer.
And now we're gonna change your minds! Uhh! Uhh! I can't believe we're about to be turned into zombies by a giant mosquito and an overgrown bat.
And that's coming from a 5-foot-tall talking turtle.
[tires screech.]
[Leonardo.]
April, any sign of Michelangelo or Donatello? Not a clue, Leonardo.
They must be inside the school grounds.
We'll soon find out.
[Screwloose laughs.]
Three for the price of one! Oh, I feel my mind emptying out completely.
What mind? I got an idea.
The power for this Mind Changer comes from that central electrode.
If we can short it out-- Good idea, Zack, but we're kinda tied up right now.
[grunts.]
I'll get my honorary Ninja Turtle badge.
Got it! Now to toss it! You did it! It's a regular Zack attack.
[Screwloose.]
Power overload! Uhh! [Wingnut.]
Whoa! Uh-oh.
[coughing.]
We gotta save the other kids! Lead the way, Zack.
Wha--What happened? How did I get here? Well, it looks like destroying the Mind Chamber released the hold it had on the students.
Uh-oh.
Party's over, dudes.
Here come the aliens again.
We gotta get 'em to chase us so the kids can get away! Cowabunga! There they go! Stop them! Destroy them! [both.]
Whoa! Uh-oh.
Dead end.
I hate being a sitting turtle.
I believe the term is duck! Good idea.
Okay, fellas.
Now! [buzzing.]
Great work, guys! Our army! Gone! Now what do we do? We buzz off, that's what.
[wings buzzing.]
[rumbling.]
[Turtles.]
Ow! Uhh! That was an actual spaceship.
Then Zack was right.
There really were alien invaders.
And Leonardo gave me back my TurtleCom.
I'm an honorary Turtle again.
I'm so sorry, dear.
We should have believed you when you told us about those alien invaders.
It's not your fault, Mom.
I mean, who believes kids anyway? Well, from now on, I do this kid, anyway.
By the way, do you suppose I could get a subscription to Alien Invaders? It's kind of neat.
[April, on TV.]
And so young Zack is an overnight hero for helping to thwart an alien invasion.
The city thanks him.
That's great! Now Zack is a hero.
And I'll bet he learned a good lesson from all this.
Indeed he did.
Some youngsters never learn the difference between reality and illusion.
Alien invaders! Alien invaders! We're ready for 'em! How about one of you dudes giving me a hand with these pizzas.
Unfortunately, some turtles never learn the difference between reality and illusion, either.