Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s05e20 Episode Script

9062-018B - Michaelangelo, the Sacred Turtle

[theme song] Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell And they're green Hey, get a grip.
When the evil Shredder attacks These turtle boys don't cut him no slack Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool, but rude Gimme a break.
Michelangelo is a party dude Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power Look out, dude.
He's right behind you! [Donatello] Michelangelo.
[rasping] Whoa! Hey, come on with us.
We're gonna go see O'Malley's comet.
No thanks.
You dudes go ahead without me.
I already read the book.
It's not a movie.
It's a real comet that only appears once every hundred years.
And we're all going to the planetarium to watch it.
Come on, wouldn't you dudes rather stay and watch Chain-gang Mummy with me? Chain-gang Mummy? Yeah, it's part of the Mummy Movie Marathon.
Twelve hours of tombs and glooms.
Forget it, guys.
It's a dead issue.
[TurtleCom chirping] Now what? Oh, hey, April.
What's the haps, dudette? Actually, I'm on my way to the Natural History Museum.
I could use a little company.
Uh, no thanks, April.
I'm right in the middle of a mummy movie.
I'm talking about a real mummy.
They're about to open the sarcophagus of Amen Turt-el.
There's supposed to be a curse on it.
A curse? Whoa! I'm on my way.
Forget it, fella.
I'm off to see the real thing.
[TV shuts off] Cowabunga! [April] I have the strangest feeling that someone is watching us.
Ahh! Whoa! Sorry, chaps.
Hope my man Casbah didn't startle you.
No, my eyes always bug out like this.
Fascinating.
I am Sir Percival Pifflecoot, world renowned Egyptologist.
An Egypt-what-agist? Egyptologist.
He's an expert in Egyptian archeology.
Quite right, my dear.
And I would like you to take a warning for those, uh-- those publicity-hungry fools in there.
What warning is that, Sir Percival? If they do not leave the sarcophagus of Amen Turt-el in peace, his spirit will be angered, and there's no telling what might happen.
[Man] A curse? What nonsense.
That Pifflecoot is simply jealous because I, Professor Tut, found the tomb of Amen Turt-el before he did.
Professor, will you tell our viewers what you expect to find in there? Certainly, Ms.
O'Neil.
According to these hieroglyphics, we should see not only the mummy of the great Amen Turt-el, but a fabled ruby known as the Turtle's Eye.
[creaking] [gasps] [Michelangelo] Holy guacamole! It is a ruby! [April] Whoa, what happened to the lights? [Michelangelo] Then went out, just like in Return of the Mad Mummy! Or was that The Martian Mummy's Revenge? You were warned, mortals! Now you are cursed by Osiris, ruler of the departed souls.
[laughs] I'll say one thing for the dude, he sure knows how to make an entrance.
[Professor Tut] Oh, no! The ruby, it's missing! More importantly, so is April! Help! Police! I sure hope this thing reaches the planetarium.
Come in, amigos! Mayday! Mayday! Oh, is this ever incredible.
Look, Leonardo.
[Leonardo] O'Malley's Comet is affecting the moon's radiation.
[Donatello] It looks like ultra-thermionic radiation to me.
Yeah, or else they forgot to clean the lens.
[TurtleCom chirping] Huh? The TurtleCom.
[static] Mummytomb stolen ruby! Oh, poor Michelangelo.
He's still talking about that scary mummy movie.
Bummer, the dudes are out of range.
Hold on.
Foot prints.
Whoa, look at the size of those dogs.
This dude could put out forest fires with his feet.
They must belong to that humongazoid Casbah.
[Sir Percival] Well, Casbah, how did it go? Mission accomplished, Master.
Beautiful, Casbah.
Marvelous.
Open sesame.
Here she is, Master, just as you commanded.
Put me down, you big gorilla! [screams] Oh! Welcome to my humble sphinx, Ms.
O'Neil.
The only thing that sphinx around here is you! Exactly what's the big idea? You will speak softly in the presence of my master.
Or what? Or this! [whispering] So what's the big idea? You are about to see history made, my inquisitive reporter.
O'Malley's Comet? Yes, but that is only half the story.
You stole the Turtle's Eye ruby? No, no, no, it's isn't a ruby, but a ray magnifier of immense power.
[snap] When O'Malley's Comet is in position, its rays will activate the mystic properties of the Turtle's Eye.
Its combined power will make me as omnipotent as the pharaohs of ancient Egypt.
And you, Ms.
O'Neil, will be my devoted hand maiden.
Why me? Because, darling, I just adore female TV reporters.
I may collect the whole set.
Forget it, Pifflecoot! The police will track you down in no time! OhI think not.
Thanks to Casbah's convincing performance as Osiris-- nicely done, Casbah-- that nitwit Tut will have them investigating some silly curse, not me.
For now, take her away, Casbah.
You'll be sorry, Pifflecoot.
Wait'll my friends the Turtles hear about this.
Yo, April, are you in here? Here's her TurtleCom, but she's nowhere in sight.
So where'd the dudette split to? Oh, no.
They went out the window.
Major bummer! Whoever got April must be long gone by now.
[yelps] You have stolen the Turtle's Eye, infidel.
For that, you must perish! [Michelangelo] Whoa! Qué pasa? Infidel, you will suffer a thousand miseries for stealing the sacred ruby of the Turtle's Eye.
Uh-oh.
Adios and good-bye! Chill out, compadre.
I'm a good guy.
Seize him! And make it 1,001 miseries.
Whoa, dudes, how about cutting me a little slack? Right, bad idea.
Only one way to deal with these dudes.
Cowabunga! Whoa! Oof! [yelling] [all gasp] All bow before Amen Turt-el.
Who? Amen Turt-el, the scared turtle.
Who am I to argue? [Donatello] Boy, I'm worried about Michelangelo.
It's not like him to leave the Mummy Movie Festival.
Where could he have disappeared to? Knowing him, he probably went out for more pizza.
Wrong.
He never finished this one.
Now I know something is wrong.
Maybe there's something on the late news.
And the big question is, has the curse of Amen Turt-el struck? Turtle who? A curse? What's he talking about? That is the opinion of Sir Percival Pifflecoot, famed Egyptologist.
Oh, there's no doubt it's the curse.
I mean, how would you like someone opening your sarcophagus? It sounds like a million laughs to me.
Tragically, the first victim of the ancient curse was Channel Six's very own April O'Neil.
April? April? What? Here is her final footage shot at the museum.
Here we see Professor Tut opening Amen Turt-el's sarcophagus along with an unidentified sailor.
[Turtles] Michelangelo! And that, according to Professor Tut, was the moment at which both April O'Neil and the fabled ruby disappeared, victims of the dreaded curse.
Bye-bye, April.
We'll miss you.
But on the bright side, you viewers will have yours truly, Vernon Fenwick, to carry Channel Six to even greater heights.
It looks like Michelangelo and April disappeared together.
We'd better check out that museum.
[Michelangelo] Mondo bizarro.
We did not know it was you, oh Sublime One.
Hey, no problemo.
We all make mistakes.
Then, we are forgiven, Mighty Ruler? Look, dude, I'm just a plain, ordinary Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, who happens to be looking for his favorite dudette April.
Of course, oh Great One.
We understand your wish to travel incognito.
If that means economy class, you're right.
We have come to return the Turtle's Eye to the Valley of the Kings.
But of course you, the All Knowing One, already knew that.
I did? Oh, Mighty One if you will help us find the ruby, we will help you find this-- thisdudette.
Dude, it's a done deal.
Wow.
Hey, you guys have gotta read this.
Gee, I haven't read a really good sarcophagus in years.
No, I'm serious.
The scribe they used to carve this lid must have been a temp.
I mean, it's full of mistakes.
Like, what kind of mistakes? Well, for one thing, there is no curse of Amen Turt-el.
I mean, it says "the purse of Amen Turt-el.
" Well, that's a natural mistake.
Don't you see? If Professor Pifflecoot is such an expert, how come he didn't catch that? Hmm, maybe we ought to go ask him.
Right.
We'll get the professor's address from the Turtle Van computer.
[Sir Percival] Wonderful, fabulous.
O'Malley's Comet is right on schedule.
Today, the city.
Tomorrow Well, you know the rest.
Ah, Ms.
O'Neil you look positively radiant as an Egyptian queen.
How come you crackpots always want to take over the world? What, you mean aside from the limitless power and wealth, and the chance to get back at anyone who ever hurt your feelings? No special reason.
Follow me.
We're about to begin phase two.
We must hurry, ohStupendous One, if the thief intends to use the comet's rays to activate the ruby of the Turtle's Eye.
Lighten up, compadre.
What could happen? Our legend tells us that the ruby's energy will cause the comet to crash into the Earth.
Ouch, I had to ask.
To use your words, oh Great One, we would all bite the big burrito.
Whoa, that sure changes things.
How do we find the ruby-copping dude? We suspect the strange professor and his associate.
Wait a minute, those footprints belong to Casbah.
I'll bet he took April.
And-- And what was that professor dude's name? Pennyflapper? Eh, Piddlefinger? Here we go, Pifflecoot.
Pea-jacket, servant dudes.
You know, with a little effort I could almost get used to this.
[punching keypad] Exactly where are you taking me? I've prepared for this moment for years, ever since I first learned of the powers of the Turtle's Eye.
The comet is now in perfect alignment.
Casbah, the ruby.
The ruby is ready to be activated, Master.
Beautiful.
All that remains is to take this pyramid up to the surface.
Pyramid? Of course, darling.
The perfect throne room for Percival the Perfect.
Ten, nine, eight All right, compadres, let's scope out the action.
[Servant] There is no door, oh, uh, Awesome One.
This is, as you would say, bogus.
Totally, dude.
Most excellent point.
Hmmbut there is a door bell.
[buzz] Yow! [all yelling] Holy guacamole.
Where are we? Check out the sign, amigo.
What's it say? Hmmhmm Oh, my goodness gracious! Hmm, hmm, hmm All right, enough suspense, dude.
What's it say? Hmmhmm Is says, "You are here in the crushing room.
" The crushing room? Wuh-oh, dudes.
What? Yow! What do we do now, oh Great One? I was just about to ask you the same thing.
[all shouting] [men wailing] The room, it is shrinking! Looks like we've been invited to an old-fashioned get-together.
[both chanting] Cowabunga Cowabunga? Yes! Uh, fantastic one.
They are speaking your magic words for good luck.
[both] Exactamundo.
Compadre.
Guacamole.
It appears the magic words have not yet taken effect.
Yeah, well, it loses a little something in the translation.
Oh! Whoa, I just got a mondo notion.
We're outta here, amigos! Coolumongous.
Totally awesome.
[Sir Percival] It's glowing.
At last, the comet and the Turtle's Eye are in perfect alignment.
What's going on? [chuckles] Always the inquisitive reporter, aren't we? If you must know, the great Pifflecoot pyramid is rising.
The reign of Percival the Perfect is about to begin.
This is the old World's Fair site.
And Pifflecoot lives in a sphinx.
That figures.
Let's check it out.
That's strange.
Whoa! Whoa! We never get earthquakes in this part of the country.
[yelling] Never say "never," ever! [Leonardo] What's that? [Donatello] It's an exact replica of the pyramid of Amen Turt-el.
Eh, all these pyramids look alike to me.
Now what? [Turtles] Whoa! It's locked onto O'Malley's Comet.
This must be Pifflecoot's doing.
Let's find out what he's up to.
Hey, look.
I found a door bell.
[buzz] Hey! [all screaming] [Servant] This is most difficult work.
Absolutely.
Oh, too intense.
Whoa! Hey! What the-- Michelangelo.
You can warn a guy when you're going to drop in, dude.
Ay! Devil turtles! Chill out, amigos.
These are my bros and all-around fave dudes.
All hail to the, uh, Radiant One's fave dudes.
Tubuloso.
Radical, man.
So, why did you guys drop in? We were looking for you and April, oh, uh [snickers] Radiant One.
Yeah.
Then, just as we got here, a pyramid rose up and sent a beam toward O'Malley's Comet.
Oh, my goodness gracious me! This Pifflecoot has activated the ruby of the Turtle's Eye.
What's he saying? What? The Turtle's Eye? When you line up the comet and the ruby, it gives off some weird super powers.
But no longer.
Now it will simply cause the comet to crash into the Earth.
But of course, you already knew that.
Of course.
He's right.
The comet's unstable orbit causes empathetic harmonic oscillations.
Well, just as long as we don't get squashed flat.
That, too.
We've got to get through this wall and find Pifflecoot.
Well, what are we waiting for? I can feel its power already.
Soon I will be Percival the Perfect, the greatest pharaoh of all time.
"Percival the Pitiful" would be more like it.
Flippant talk from a soon-to-be lifelong servant.
[Casbah] Master! Master! What is it? Master, there are intruders in the sphinx.
Well, don't just stand there, you nut.
Go capture them.
Yes, Master.
Right away.
A P.
A.
system inside a pyramid? Why not? This is the 20th century.
Whoever's in the sphinx, watch out! The bad guys are coming! I repeat, the bad guys are coming! It's April.
Looks like we'll have to split into two teams to stop that comet.
I'll need my laser generator to redirect the comet.
I'll take you to the lair to get it.
You and Michelangelo can take out Pifflecoot's ray.
Sure.
And on the way back we'll stop and, I don't know, win World War III? We will help you, um, eh, Most Serene and Sacred Turtle.
Kick some shell! Exactamundo! You know, I feel so much better knowing that they're on our side.
Looks like Pifflecoot didn't leave us too much time.
Let's make turtle tracks! Excellent, dudes! We're out! Right.
Out of the frying pan and into the fire.
[both] Turtles fight with honor! Yes! And we do, too! Totally triumphant! Tough tamales! [shouting] Why not use a small burst of your all-destroying flame, um, oh Majestic One? I'd rather not, compadre.
It's not safe to play with fire.
Ahh! Whoa! Not that this is all that safe.
[Donatello] The ray is diverting the comet's course.
And it's headed straight for Earth! Hang on, Donatello.
We're almost at the planetarium.
[Donatello] I only hope we're in time.
Now, pay close attention, Ms.
O'Neil.
You're about to witness my grand transformation.
[commotion] What's going on? [shouting] April! [whistles] Nice outfit.
Look out! Oh, no.
The suspense has been most exciting, uh, but it is permissible to make your move now, oh Astounding One.
Yeah, oh, uh, Astounding One.
Don't let us stop you.
For sure! Bodacious! But I feel so silly in this outfit.
I could die of embarrassment.
Would you rather die of sword poisoning.
Since you put it that way Ta-da! [Servants gasping] [Servants in unison] All hail the sacred Turt-el! The sacred Turt-el? [laughs] I don't believe it.
Well, I'm afraid you have to, dude.
It's too late to rewrite the script.
[Servants] Hail Turt-el! [Leonardo] Hurry, Donatello! Just a few more degrees andgot it! You did it! You saved the Earth from being demolished by a runaway comet.
[sighs] True.
But it's all in a day's work for a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
What? My chance of pharaohood [raspberry] gone? Yeah, just like us, dude.
Get yourself another hand maiden.
I quit! Cowabunga! Right on! [munching] This is a most unusual place for a farewell banquet.
Do you question the will of the mighty Turt-el? Such a thought would be unthinkable, oh, um, Worshipful One.
Absolutemente.
No way, dude.
That's better.
Uh, excuse us, Abdul, but I think all this excitement has gone to the mighty Turt-el's swollen noggin.
Hey! Whoa, dudes! Wait! Cut that out! Yes, he's getting a little too wrapped up in himself.
[muffled cries] Good night, fellas.
Gentlemen, it's, um, ehscarf time! [Servant 2] Righteous notion, dude! [Servant 3] Cowabunga! [munching] [loud belch] [theme]