Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s06e01 Episode Script

9062-9201 - Rock Around the Block

[theme] Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell And they're green Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Hey, get a grip.
When the evil Shredder attacks These Turtle boys don't cut him no slack Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool but rude Gimme a break.
Michelangelo is a party dude Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power All right, Michelangelo, you've cowa'd your last bunga! Now way, dude.
Prepare to be most excellently thrashed.
Whaaa-gee! Uh, what say we make it two out of three? Ah! Ah! Come on, Leonardo, why don't you attack me? What is the matter with you? Why won't you fight back? Whoa! Donatello, it appears you have been defeated by the principle of Wu-Wee.
Wu-wah? Wu-Wee.
It is an ancient Oriental concept.
The art of Doing Without Action.
Like, say again, Master Splinter.
By doing nothing, Leonardo turned Donatello's assault against him, just as the gentlest waves will eventually wear away the mightiest boulder.
Whoa! Pretty heavy philosophical stuff for a cartoon show.
[Shredder] Are we going to spend the rest of our lives trapped in this blasted ice? I'm going out of my mind.
Lucky you.
Me, I can't go out of my mind.
It's all I've got.
Nothing but snow all around us.
I can't take much more of this.
We thought you might be feeling a little down, boss.
So, we made something to cheer you up.
Snow cones.
Snow cones? Uh, we was only tryin' to help! Then go do something useful, like cleaning up this place! I guess I could organize my comic book collection.
You mean my comic book collection.
Those are my comic books! No, mine! This is April O'Neal-- Oh, what a team.
Channel 6 News.
Those cretins are fighting over comics, and you're watching TV.
Shredder, shut up and listen! It's April O'Neal, and we have to develop a story plot.
This booster rocket will launch the new defense satellite into orbit at dawn today.
The satellite's primary feature is a super laser beam able to cut through solid rock.
Or solid ice.
But how can we control the ray when it's in outer space? With this remote control device.
If we can plant it on the satellite, I can operate that super laser from here in the Technodrome.
There's just one problem, Crane.
The turtles.
Every time we come up with a plan to free the Technodrome, they manage to ruin it.
Oh, will you relax, Shredder? This time I have a plan for dealing with those meddlesome reptiles.
Follow me.
Now to open the portal to Dimension X.
Welcome, General Tragg.
I have a mission for you.
As you command, Lord Krang.
Where is his army of rock soldiers? He won't need them this time.
What? That boulder brain won't stand a chance against the turtles without his troops.
This will even out the odds.
What the devil is that? I call it the Rockalyzer.
A ray that vitalizes anything made of mineral.
Observe.
Hey, gimme that copy of Captain Cow! No way.
Captain Cow is mine.
Ow! Quit it! Ow! I mean it! That smarts! Hey! Ugh! Whoa! So you can activate a few pebbles.
Big deal.
Pebbles? The Rockalyzer can move mountains! But why should Tragg get this power instead of me? Because who better than a rock soldier to control rocks? It's his element.
But the turtles have dishonored me! By ninja law, they are mine to defeat.
Calm down, Shredder.
While General Tragg keeps the turtles busy, you will break into the launch pad and place the remote control device on the satellite.
Ooh! It's a much more important task.
Maybe, but beating up the turtles is much more fun.
Where are we? We'll soon find out.
Uh, gee, it sure is dark and spooky in here.
Oh, who's afraid of a little-- Dinosaur! Mama! Mama! Oh, knock it off, you boneheads.
You brought us up in the Natural History Museum.
Oh, no wonder.
History always makes me hysterical.
Come on.
We've got work to do.
Tragg, get busy with that Rockalyzer.
Now, my brother rocks, obey me as if you were my soldiers.
Good, but we can do better and bigger.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, what a dull night.
There isn't a good story happening anywhere.
Then why you do like I do? Whenever I have free time, I just practice my new anti-stress technique.
Transcendental procrastination.
Transcendental procrastination? That's right.
The art of doing absolutely nothing whatsoever.
Hi.
Welcome to Lesson 4, fellow slackers.
Now we're going to start by just staring out the window, like so.
Oh, very good.
You're doing splendidly.
I think Vernon's finally found something he's good at.
April! Vernon! Quit goofing off! We just got a report that all the rocks in Central City Park have gone whacko! Rocks? Gone whacko? Don't argue.
Just get over there right away! All right now, Raphael, We're going to see if your strength is a match for the power of Wu-Wee.
Come on, come on, hit me with your best shot.
Heh, whatever you say.
Hey! What? Oh! No fair! Since when is a sofa a combat weapon? Hey, a good ninja can defend himself with anything.
It appears that you have not yet mastered the concept of Wu-Wee, Donatello.
No.
But I am learning a lot about interior decorating.
[beeping] Hey, guys, it's me.
What's up, April? I'm en route to Central City Park.
We just got a report that the rocks have come to life.
We're on our way.
[April] Rocks coming to life.
Give me a break.
Hmm.
Things look pretty normal to me.
Huh? Uh-oh.
It looks like I spoke to soon.
Oh, no! Oh, I'm glad I had those brakes checked.
Easy, easy.
No sudden moves.
Oh, no! Aah! Okay, Donatello, put her in reverse! Thanks for saving my life.
But do you always have to cut it so darn close? [Donatello] Uh, guys.
Oh, no.
The Channel 6 van.
Forget it, April.
Let's get out of here.
What the heck is making those rocks come alive? Gee, boss, where's everybody going? They must have gone to help with the emergency Tragg is causing.
This is going to be a piece of cake.
Ha ha! They've just left a skeleton crew.
Intruders! Stop them! Bebop! Rocksteady! Deal with those guards.
I'll take the launch controls.
All right, you two.
Halt! You didn't say "Mother May I?" Oh, yeah? We can play that game, too.
That was fun.
What do we play now? Well, how about "Tie up the guards and lock them in the storage building"? Ooh-ooh, that is one of my favorites! Well, Shredder, what's going on? Everything is on schedule.
It had better be.
The missile is set to blast off in less than 20 minutes.
That remote control device must be on.
It's the only way we'll cut the Technodrome free from the ice.
We're headed there now, Krang.
Meanwhile, I suggest youstay cool.
Ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, I don't know how many of these near misses we can handle.
Look! It's General Tragg! And that means Shredder and Krang.
So, the turtles.
Prepare to be ground into gravel.
Go, Green Machine! Boy, talk about rock hard muscles! Aw, that was my favorite bo.
Whoa! This will take care of you, boulder brain.
Uh, never mind.
Foolish reptiles.
With the power of the Rockalyzer, anything made of stone will obey me.
Including asphalt.
[All] Whoa! Do you get the feeling our city streets are no longer safe? Aah! All right, I say we give this guy some serious payback.
Brother bricks, bury those turtles.
Are you guys all right? Well, as all right as anyone who's just had a building dropped on them.
[cough] Okay [cough] that does it.
That guy is definitely off my Christmas card list.
Uh-oh.
The story of the year, and I'm out of tape.
You guys mind if I borrow the Turtle Van? Uh, help yourself.
Looks like we'll be stuck here a while.
I'll get more tape at Channel 6.
Back for more, eh? You'll be sorry.
Attention, my rock minions.
It's time to join forces.
I don't like the looks of this one bit.
We couldn't even dent Tragg, and this rock head is 20 times bigger.
Destroy the turtles! Destroy them! It's time to fall back and re-plan our strategy.
Quickly, my loyal soldier, you must destroy the turtles completely.
Seek them out and finish them off.
The Turtle Van! There they go now.
That rock monster is after April.
I thinks we're in the Turtle Van.
It's up to us to stop it.
The Turtle Van.
They're in that building.
Destroy it, my loyal rock soldier.
[Man on TV] That's it.
Just lie there and think about nothingness.
Vernon! Where's Vern? I've got the story of the year! Not now, April.
I'm about to reach an entirely new level on non-involvement.
Oh, yeah? Well, tell it to that thing! If anyone wants me, I'll be under my desk! Heads up, guys.
That rock monster must think we're inside.
We've got to distract it before destroys the building.
Yoo-hoo! Hey, Rocky! Over here! It worked.
Jump for it.
Well, Shredder, what's the delay this time? I'm checking on Rocksteady and Bebop now.
They better not foul up.
Time is of the essence.
The rocket is scheduled to blast off in less than ten minutes.
Enemy fighter rockets off the port bow.
Pwing! Pwing! Ooh! Ooh! Firing phaser beams.
Beep beep beep beep! Beep! Beep! Pwing! Pwing! What are you two imbeciles doing? Huh? Oh.
We playing space pilot.
Yeah, and the Zarkonians are winning.
You haven't attached the remote control device to the super laser, have you? Never mind, I'll do it myself.
Face it, guys, we're never gonna whip that granite goon.
Hey dudes, look! Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Yeah, why should that overgrown pet rock get to do all the demolition? Time to wreck and roll! Timber! We did it.
So, you think you've won.
You haven't even come close.
Why didn't I just stay in bed this morning? Dudes, I'd say our future's looking kinda rocky! Turtles, there's only one thing to do.
Turtle power! Guys, I think we're in serious trouble.
[beep beep] Success, Krang.
The remote control is installed.
It's about time you did something right.
Hurry, you two.
That rocket will blast off in less than two minutes.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh! It's no use, guys.
There's just too many of them.
Maybe not.
I think I see a way to stop 'em.
A rock crushing machine.
But how do we get them in there? You'll see.
When I give the word, hit the power switch.
Hey, you rock heads! I'm over here! That's it.
Come and get me.
Now, Donatello! No, my loyal followers! Stay away from that belt.
Too late, pebble puss.
Yeah, now you can't control those mineral maniacs.
Krang! Get me out of here! Everywhere I look, nothing but incompetence.
That's the last of those creeps.
All right, dudes, we won! It's pizza time! Not yet, Michelangelo.
You've still got another problem to handle.
Oh, yeah? Like what? Like the new defense satellite.
It carries some sort of super laser, and someone wants it real bad.
Okay, all together, gang.
Who do we know who's stuck in the Arctic and could use an enormous laser beam to cut his Technodrome free from the ice? [All] Krang! Looks like they've had an unwanted visitor.
Like, where did all the space dudes go? [muffled] Help! We're in here! April, untie them.
We've got to stop that satellite.
We're too late! The satellite is already in orbit.
Donatello, see if you can disable the super laser control.
Uh-oh.
None of these controls seem to be working.
Then Krang's already taken over the satellite.
Maybe I can tune one of these monitors in on the Antarctic.
All systems are go.
Now to fire the super laser.
Start the main engines.
Success! At last, the Technodrome rolls again.
[Michelangelo] No! They're moving the Technodrome! But how can we stop them? We'll use Wu-Wee.
Remember what Master Splinter said.
Evil always sinks beneath its own weight.
Victory is ours! Ha ha! We'll go straight to the city and crush it flat.
I finally got it! Give it back! That's my Captain Cow comic! Yeah, says who? It's mine now! No, mine! Whoa! Whoa! No, you fools! Those are the laser controls! Hey guys, look.
Quick, put on the brakes.
What brakes? Then put it in reverse! Too late! Oh, no! Aaah! All right, guys! Way to go! Woo-hoo! It worked! Wu-Wee works! Wow, boy! Splinter said that evil sinks under its own weight.
He wasn't kidding! I don't believe it! We go from being stuck in the ice to being stuck in the bottom of the ocean.
Well, believe it.
And it's all their fault.
Uh, I think we better go clean up our room or something.
So much for Shredder and Krang's plan to conquer the world.
The only thing they'll be able to conquer now is a school of anchovies.
Speaking of anchovies, how about a victory pizza, dudes? So, Donatello, have you at last come to understand the principle of Wu-Wee? Uh, not entirely, Master.
Yeah, but after fighting those rock monsters, it's better than beating your head against a stone wall.
Sorry.
I couldn't help myself.