Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s07e11 Episode Script

9059-061 - April Gets in Dutch

[] Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half-shell Turtle power! They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team LEONARDO: We're really hip.
They're heroes In the half-shell And they're green RAPHAEL: Hey, get a grip.
When the evil Shredder Attacks These Turtle boys Don't cut him no slack Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splinter taught them to be Ninja teens LEONARDO: He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads Donatello does machines DONATELLO: That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool but crude RAPHAEL: Give me a break.
Michelangelo is a party Dude MICHELANGELO: Party! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half-shell Turtle power! [] To the right.
Uh-uh, to the right.
[PEOPLE GROANING] [SNIFFS] Mmm, something good is cooking, yeah.
Yeah, I am hungry too.
This was your bargain sea cruise to Holland? Look, I said it was cheap.
I never said it was comfortable.
You also neglected to mention we'd be in a box for the whole trip.
Hey, chill, dudes.
At least we had enough pizza for the trip.
Anyone for hot fudge and liverwurst with double cheese? Enjoy this one guys.
It's our last.
We're out of pizza? Mondo bummer.
As you say, Michelangelo: Chill out.
There's more to life than pizza.
That's true.
There's surfing.
And there's also this Dutch vacation we're going on with April and Irma.
Ahh, isn't Amsterdam beautiful, April? All these gorgeous tulips.
Yeah, and your wooden shoes are nice too, Irma.
Hee-hee-hee! They are cute, aren't they? [WATCH CHIMES] It's the Turtlecom.
The Turtles must have arrived in Amsterdam.
April here.
The turtles have landed.
Welcome to Holland, guys.
Hey, we're ready for that vacation anytime you guys are.
As soon as we've finished our assignment at the Amsterdam Diamond Market.
They're putting the Duchess Diamond on display.
Wow, that's the biggest, most perfect diamond in the world.
It hasn't been seen in public in 50 years.
Hmm, yeah.
Ahh, and it would look great sitting right on this finger.
KRANG: There is the key to my triumphant return to Earth.
SHREDDER: A diamond.
Are you going to hock it for a plane ticket? It's not just a diamond.
It's the largest, most flawless diamond in the universe.
I must have it to complete my Laser Dimension Blade.
A diamond to cut through dimensions.
Even Bebop and Rocksteady wouldn't buy that.
Shredder, you have absolutely no scientific aptitude.
The Duchess Diamond is merely the lens which will focus and intensify this powerful laser to cut through the dimensional barrier between here and Earth like a knife through butter.
But the Technodrome has no fuel.
You can't bring it to Earth, even if you had a portal big enough.
I know that, but the blade will create a reverse vacuum that will draw the Technodrome through the barrier without the need of fuel.
I'm such an evil genius.
You'd better be right this time, Krang.
I'm getting tired of packing my bags for a trip that never happens.
Ooh, did somebody say "trip"? Oh, boy.
Yeah, do we get to break things and scare people? If you're lucky.
We're going to pull a little diamond heist.
Now get into that portal.
You didn't say the magic word.
Get in the portal or else.
That's two words.
Now! That's one word.
Don't worry, Krang, I will get that diamond.
Why doesn't that make me feel any better? Have I ever failed you before? Yes, in almost every episode.
MICHELANGELO: Total bummer, dudes, we're out of pizza, and this entire town doesn't even have one pizzeria.
We know.
You've told us 10 times.
Michelangelo, what does it take to get your mind of off pizza? Bebop and Rocksteady.
Good, that's something that will ruin anybody's appetite.
No, they're here.
SHREDDER: Ugh! Krang, you'll pay for this.
Heh-heh! They're really floundering around.
LEONARDO: I'll bet they're not in that net for the halibut.
Leonardo, you made a joke.
Hey, you're right.
Now let's get 'em.
[] SHREDDER: The Turtles.
It's time to fish or cut bait, Shredder.
We're going down.
[ALL GRUNT] Get those shellbacks.
Ready or not, here we come.
We like it better if you're not.
Hey, throw us a line.
Okay, here's one: What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator? No, not that kind of line.
A rope.
Here's your rope.
Thanks, Turtle.
BOTH: Mama! Going somewhere, Shredhead? I'm doing a little shopping, Turtle.
You have a nice swim.
[YELPS] MAN: I'm tired of this cheese factory hideout, Spats.
It stinks.
You're right, Dag, but after we grab that Duchess Diamond, we can say so long to these cheesy hangouts.
Nothing but first-class for Spats Sparkle and Dag from now on.
Do I look like a Diamond Market security guard? Yeah, a dumb one.
But we only have to fool them for a little while.
[LAUGHING] We'll be long gone when those boobs discover the Duchess Diamond had been replaced by this cheap glass duplicate.
APRIL: Hurry, Irma.
They're going to start the press conference soon.
Now, when I get next to the Duchess Diamond, you turn off the lights.
I grab the rock and put the fake in its place.
Then you turn the lights back on.
Nobody sees anything.
Gee, Spats, you're a genius.
Yeah, heh-heh, I am.
Look at the size of that rock.
Pull in your tongue, Irma.
We've got work to do.
There's the diamond, boss.
How do we get it? Bebop, you create a disturbance.
Rocksteady, you smash the glass case, and I'll grab the diamond.
Okay, smash the diamond, grab the case.
Got it, boss.
No, you idiot, smash the case.
Did you arrange a getaway vehicle? All set, boss.
Soon, the Duchess Diamond will be ours.
And the Technodrome will be arriving from Dimension X.
DONATELLO: As soon as April is finished taping at the Diamond Market, we can start our vacation.
RAPHAEL: With Shredder and his goons around, I got a feeling our vacation is gonna be delayed.
LEONARDO: I hate it when you talk like that.
This is April O'Neil, Channel here in the Amsterdam Diamond Market, for the exhibition of the fabulous Duchess Diamond.
Wow, that's the most beautiful diamond I've ever seen.
It's Rocksteady and Bebop.
RAPHAEL: Shredder is after the Duchess Diamond.
[CROWD SHOUTING] I've got the diamond.
I've got the diamond.
Hey, watch it, mister.
Whoa, what happened? I was standing next to this handsome guy when the lights went out.
But he got away.
The Duchess Diamond has been stolen.
[] The diamond's been stolen.
And Shredder has vanished.
Is it just me or does anybody else see a connection here? Somebody snatched the fake diamond, Spats.
Well, what if the cops search me? I got an idea.
SHREDDER: Where's our getaway vehicle, Bebop? Coming right up.
This is the best you could do? Gee, sorry, boss, but my Mutant Express card is maxed out.
Just shut up and pedal.
Good thinking, Dag.
They'll never suspect that reporter.
We'll just wait outside for her, grab the bag and get out of here.
[SIRENS WAILING] The man is Spats Sparkle, a notorious jewel thief.
Has anyone seen him in here today? Not my type.
She was right next to the broken case when the lights came on.
But you can't think that I-- Sounds like you had every opportunity to take the stone.
We'll have to take you in, ma'am.
They're trying to pin this bum rap on April.
We've gotta get her out of here.
Take her from the police? Isn't that illegal? Turtles, what are you doing? DONATELLO: Save the questions for later, April.
Stop, thief.
Stop, turtles.
"Stop, turtles"? This party's turning rowdy.
Come on, girls, we're out of here.
IRMA: I knew we were coming to Holland, but I never thought I'd be in Dutch.
The police are going into the sewer.
They must be after somebody.
That reporter must have found the diamond and escaped into the sewer.
Come on, we gotta find her before they do.
I think Shredder plans to use that diamond to cut a hole to Dimension X and bring the Technodrome here.
RAPHAEL: Really? Think what that will do to property values.
Well, if he's using a dimensional laser, I can track him from the Turtle Van.
Well, then, let's go.
[PANTING] Boss, uh, you ain't doing your share of pedaling.
That's because I'm the brains of this outfit.
Yes, Krang? Do you have the diamond? Of course.
I'll set the Dimensional Laser Blade to a deserted windmill a kilometer from where you are.
Call me when you get there.
Pedal faster, mutants.
[PANTING] APRIL: Irma, you should have left those wooden shoes behind.
IRMA: If I had known I'd be running through the sewers, escaping from police, I would have.
SPATS: Oh, it's that reporter.
With some weird-looking green things.
Let's get our diamond.
Surf's up, amigos.
Way up.
IRMA: Look, two guys in a boat.
Maybe they're going to rescue us.
[TURTLES SCREAM] I'll take my diamond back, Miss O'Neil.
LEONARDO: Diamond? I've seen that ugly puss before.
He's that jewel thief.
Ungh! Let me go.
They're kidnapping April.
Do something.
Okay, give me your shows, Irma.
Cowabunga! Sorry to cut this short, Turtle.
Whoa, this is short.
Ungh! Ungh.
Oh, it was bodacious while it lasted.
Gee, April had the diamond after all.
Spats must have dropped it into April's camera case.
MICHELANGELO: But I though Shredder stole it.
LEONARDO: This gets more complicated all the time.
Guys, this is really serious.
If Shredder has a fake diamond and tries to cut a dimensional hole, it could be a disaster.
So, like, what's the plan, Stan? Well, we find Shredder.
If April can turn the homing signal in her Turtlecom on, we'll look for her.
DONATELLO: And don't call me Stan.
The Duchess Diamond.
Heh-heh, this diamond is gonna set us up for life, Dag.
Ooh, good, the cheese factory is closed.
Come on, let's stash our snoopy reporter inside.
You're not gonna get away with this.
And you can forget about those turtle creatures rescuing you, Miss O'Neil.
By the time they find you, you'll be over your head in cheese.
KRANG: Hurry up.
Ooh, I can't wait to be on my way back to Earth.
Don't rush me, Krang.
This is delicate precision work.
Then how come we got the job, boss? I keep asking myself that question.
The diamond is in place.
Now we bring the Technodrome to Earth.
Don't forget to fasten your seat belt.
And you were worried, Krang.
[] The frequency is wrong.
Shut it off.
The diamond shattered.
That was no diamond, you boob.
But now you've got to find the real diamond or Earth and the Technodrome will be destroyed.
DONATELLO: I'm getting a reading.
It's pretty close.
What is it? What's happening? LEONARDO: What's going on, Donatello? DONATELLO: Shredder must have activated his dimensional cutter with a fake diamond.
So how come we're doing all this rocking and rolling? 'Cause we're experiencing atmosphere overload.
The fake diamond caused the device to send out a fractured beam.
So that thing didn't work.
That's good, right? Well, if we don't find the real diamond and send out a correcting beam, it could shatter both our dimension and Krang's.
That's not good.
Then let's find that diamond.
And April.
And fast.
[RUMBLING, WOOD CRACKING] Oh, no, the beam is breaking.
I never thought I'd wind up as cheese dip.
[WAILS] [] Oh, another shake like that and I'm in the cheese.
And I don't even like Edam.
If I can get to my Turtlecom, I can set the homing signal and-- If the Turtles are listening-- [CRACKING] Oh.
Can't move too fast.
Darn it.
I hope that homing signal goes through cheese before I do.
DONATELLO: I've picked up April's homing signal.
It's strange, kind of muffled.
Which way do we go? Uh, that way, I think.
[TIRES SQUEAL] April's signal is coming from here.
An old cheese factory.
SHREDDER: The diamond must be here.
[ALL YELP, GRUNT] Look, boss.
SHREDDER: So the Turtles are after the diamond too.
Well, we'll have to disappoint them.
[SHREDDER LAUGHS] We're close now, guys.
But we better find that diamond or finding April won't matter.
Uh, another earthquake? SHREDDER: You should be so lucky.
Shredder! Have some cheese balls, Turtles.
[TURTLES CRY OUT] [CHUCKLING] I guess we surprised you, shellbacks.
And we like surprises.
[LAUGHS] Donatello, batter up.
Ungh! I like surprises.
Ew, but I hate cheese.
I can't see.
Michelangelo, you and Irma find April.
We'll keep Shredder and company occupied.
Right, dude.
SPATS: It's those turtles.
We gotta get out of here.
Hurry, Michelangelo.
Whoa, that stuff is mondo ripe.
Cowabunga! [CRIES OUT] Got you, dudette.
There's the diamond.
Grab it, Bebop.
Sure thing, boss.
SPATS: Oh, no.
I got it.
Sorry to disappoint you.
Oof! I don't got it.
Good hit, Donatello.
I was practicing earlier.
Get me that diamond.
Right, boss.
Give me that diamond, Turtle.
Not even if you say "please.
" ROCKSTEADY: Ooh, what if we both say "please"? I am not going to jump into that cheese.
[RUMBLING] Stop playing around, Raphael, we've gotta get going.
And I was having such a good time.
Whoa! BOTH: Yikes.
Oh, it's hot in here.
And stinky.
Hey, what about the diamond, Spats? Forget it.
We're too small-time for this bunch.
Now to find that Dimensional Laser.
No need.
I already know where it is.
ALL: Ow.
Oh, no.
I'll take that.
Heh-heh-heh! I hope you guys like going around together.
Heh-heh! [ALL SHOUTING] LEONARDO: Oh, thank goodness that cheese wheel hit a bump in the road or we might be halfway to the Zuider Zee.
How's that cheese detector? Well, it's working so far.
[SNIFFING] They went this way, dudes.
Whew, I could smell that Limburger for miles away.
KRANG: Hurry, Shredder.
Another hit by that fractured beam and the Technodrome might split open.
It's ready.
Then turn it on.
I wouldn't do that if I were you, Shredder.
Oh, no, not the Turtles.
Just turn it on and the Technodrome will be on its way to Earth.
Bet you can't get it.
Oh, er, give it to me.
Whoa! I have to correct that beam.
[BEBOP & ROCKSTEADY GRUNT] Coming at you, Shredhead.
SHREDDER: Watch it.
You're making it turn.
MICHELANGELO: Ha, ha, yeah, dude, tubuloso ride.
Time's running out.
I hate turtles.
Shredder, where are you? Going around with Michelangelo the last time I saw him.
I think I've got it.
[BUZZES] It's working.
The corrected beam cancelled out the wrong one.
You did it, Donatello.
Well, we'll just return this to the authorities and clear April's name.
But let's make turtle tracks out of here.
What's the hurry? Uh, you'll see.
Let's put the pedal to the metal, dudes.
SHREDDER: Rocksteady, Bebop, get me down.
You know, something tells me we should have gone with the Turtles.
APRIL: What's happening? [SHREDDER CRIES OUT] When I corrected the beam, I reversed the pole.
So instead of pulling the Technodrome here, it pulled the windmill there.
[SHREDDER SHOUTING] KRANG: Shredder, this is all your fault! This is going to be a great vacation.
But there's still no pizza.
Don't be so sure.
We knew we'd find a pizzeria if we looked long enough.