Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s07e24 Episode Script

9062-9310 - Dirk Savage: Mutant Hunter!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half-shell Turtle power! They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes In the half-shell And they're green Hey, get a grip.
When the evil Shredder Attacks These Turtle boys Don't cut him no slack Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splinter taught them to be Ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool but crude Give me a break.
Michelangelo Is a party dude Party! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half-shell Turtle power! [] RAPHAEL: Jeez, are you sure we have enough videos and pizzas, Michelangelo? We'd better, compadre.
We've got a whole weekend to get through.
LEONARDO: I had no idea there were so many bad Japanese monster movies.
Come on.
What do you mean "bad"? These are immortal works of art, man.
About giant vegetables? Oh, yeah? I'd like to see you take on Radzilla the Killer Radish.
If you'd practice more and watch TV less, you could take on anything.
Uh, guys.
From the looks of things, I'd say it was a bunch of, uh, nerds.
Something tells me you boys don't work for the city, am I right? [ALL SCREAM] You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses.
No, but then, those aren't glasses.
They're magnifying lenses.
[PUNCH LANDS] That'll shut you down.
And this'll really steam you.
NERD 1: Ah, let's get out of here! Woah, slick trick, dude.
I knew these pipes had water running through them.
But steam? Oh, sure.
The city delivers millions of cubic feet of steam every month for heating, manufacturing I always knew this show was educational.
Dudes, check it out.
"Opening tomorrow, the most exciting amusement park in the world: Combat Land.
" "Test your skills against the greatest robot warriors in history and beyond.
" Whoa.
I'd sure like to check that out.
As much as you guys duck practice, I can't see why you'd want to test your skills against those robots.
Hey, we pull our fair share, Leonardo.
Maybe more than you think.
MAN: There are three main zones here at Combat Land: The Shogun Zone, where you can test your martial arts mastery against samurais and ninjas, the Medieval Zone, where you can pit your metal against valiant knights and the Future Zone, where we are now, where it's your job to clean up the streets of these cyber warriors.
It all sounds awfully dangerous.
Not at all.
These robots would blow a circuit before they'd harm anyone.
The samurai and knights' weapons are made of soft rubber.
And these blasters shoot harmless beams of light.
Yes, but, uh, don't you have any, uh, you know, nice rides? Ah, for non-combatants.
We have this boat ride, which travels between the various zones.
This story will generate a lot of publicity for tomorrow's grand opening.
Actually, the park may not open tomorrow.
The robots haven't been fully tested yet.
Why not? I haven't found anyone with the combat skills to give them a thorough workout.
April, if the park doesn't open tomorrow, there goes your story.
Um, Mr.
Stressbar, I think I know some guys who could give your robots a super workout.
Yes? MICHELANGELO: All right, now for some serious sci-fi and scarfing.
You guys should be practicing.
Hey, didn't we just get through kicking nerds out of the sewers? But haven't you noticed we've been doing a lot of that lately? You know, he's right.
This is the third time we've caught somebody messing around with the sewers this month.
That's probably coincidence.
What jerkazoid in his right mind would wanna to sabotage the sewers? [TURTLECOM BEEPS] APRIL: Guys, it's April.
The new Combat Land amusement park is opening.
How would you like to be the first guests? Would we? Whoa, we're there.
[SIGHS] You don't wanna practice, but you do wanna go fight robots.
This isn't practice, Leonardo, this is fun.
APRIL: This is Horatio Stressbar, the developer of Combat Land.
And this is Denton Nulcet, our chief robotics engineer.
Oh, dear, forgive me.
I'm afraid you're going to have to give us those weapons.
Our ninja code won't let us surrender our weapons.
Tsk, tsk.
That's a pity, because our safety code doesn't permit real weapons in Combat Land.
Whoa, looks like we got no choice, dudes.
From heroes to guinea pigs.
You'll be given special harmless weapons for fighting the robots.
April, I don't like this.
The turtles should not be giving up their weapons.
Irma, you're just being a worrywart.
I'm telling you, there's a real story going on here.
I'm going to get the other minicam and find it.
I'm going to the Shogun Zone for some good old-fashioned ninja action.
Who's with me? Sorry, dude.
I wanna nail some knights in the Medieval Zone.
And Raphael and I wanna check out the Future Zone.
But don't you wanna get in touch with our ninja heritage? Oh, please.
Why dwell in the past when you can explore the future? Fine.
I don't need your help anyway.
In fact, I'll do better without you.
[PUNCHES LAND] Dishonorable dog.
You dare challenge our shogun? I'd like to see the other guys beat that score.
[] [GRUNTS] Ah, these robots are wimps.
[FOOTSTEPS RUMBLING] Uh-oh! You have fought well against my loyal subjects.
But you will never defeat the shogun.
Boy, this guy's good.
Yeah! Oh, no, they've got us cornered.
How's this for some fancy shooting, huh? [BEEPING] The humans are defeating us.
The cyber leader will destroy them.
So the last two humans left alive.
[SCOFFS] We ain't human, bub.
He's programmed to say that.
Soon there will be no humans, only we cyber warriors.
NULCET: Oh, my, these turtles are good.
But my robots are better.
[CLEARS THROAT] Golden mongoose.
I knew there was something strange going on here.
Golden mongoose.
I said, golden mongoose.
Have you completely lost your mind? STRESSBAR: These reporters are taking their job too seriously.
They must be dealt with.
Now, this is just my speed.
A nice, non-violent ride.
Hey! [VERNON SCREAMS] How about you, and all that Middle Ages-type stuff? Whoa, these dudes are pushovers.
BLACK KNIGHT: Ho, knave.
Who dares enter the Black Knight's domain? I do, you varlet dude.
[WHINNIES] Hey, you're not supposed to have real weapons.
[GRUNTS] Where did you dudes come from? Hey, what's going on here? Suddenly, this amusement park isn't so amusing.
[] Oh, man, this is the weirdest theme park attraction I've ever seen.
COMPUTER: Analysis of subject complete.
Thank you.
Commence robotic duplication.
You may release him.
Well, this turtle is taken on.
[GUN COCKS] Going somewhere? Terrific.
The Revenge of the Nerds Part 9.
Boy, those robots can really fight.
I'll say.
It was like me and Raphael were in the middle of a science-fiction movie.
Hey, have you guys seen Irma or Vernon? No.
And where's Michelangelo? Maybe he's still in the Medieval Zone.
[] DONATELLO: Gee, there's no sign of him anywhere.
He's gotta be around here somewhere.
Oh, that goofball probably went straight for the nearest pizza stand.
But Vernon and Irma are missing too.
Now I'm starting to get worried.
Relax, Leonardo, it's a big park.
They could be anywhere.
Hey, wait up! Will you knock it off? Oh, boy, am I glad to see you guys.
Irma, where have you been? We thought something happened to you.
I was doing some investigating on my own, okay? I saw something really weird a little while ago.
What was it? I saw some guy approach a door behind this castle.
And when he said-- Whoa! APRIL: Irma! Something is very wrong here.
So how are we gonna stop them? We only have these stupid fake weapons.
Guys! Behind you! [TURTLES SCREAM] Oh, what in the world's going to become of me? Vernon.
They got you too, huh? I'm going to be trapped here for the rest of my life.
I just know it.
Yeah, well, as long as we're stuck here I'll continue shooting my hard-hitting documentary.
[CLEARS THROAT] Uh, so, Vernon, uh, you seem to be cracking under the strain of captivity.
Is this correct? What utter nonsense.
I could tear down that door with my bare hands.
But it's too much bother.
STRESSBAR: Cut out that talk.
I've got my eye on you.
Ah! Yes, sir! I'm beginning to get the feeling this whole thing was a trap.
Well, how are we gonna stop these mechanized maniacs? LEONARDO: We'll just have to improvise.
Come on, Donatello.
As Michelangelo would say, uh, if he were here, cowabunga! [] How about you? Gesundheit.
[WHOOPS, GRUNTS] [BODY THUDS] [GRUNTING] [GUNSHOTS] I hate to say it, but these robots don't have many weak spots.
Yeah, I'm barely putting a dent in them.
We better run for it, guys.
That ought to hold those guys off.
Yeah, but what about them? Gee, they don't seem to be interested in us.
LEONARDO: Yeah, they seem to be interested in something in the city.
RAPHAEL: Oh, perfect! Excuse me, does anyone have the slightest idea of what's going on? Uh-huh.
But whatever it is, it's big.
The first of the duplicate turtles is complete.
I'll throw the original in with the other prisoners.
STRESSBAR: Excellent.
He's a perfect duplicate in every detail.
And now I can use him to trap the rest of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and keep them out of the sewers forever.
LEONARDO: Donatello, you try to stop the robots.
I'm gonna find Michelangelo and the others.
If they really have captured Michelangelo, they're probably keeping him in the infrastructure under the park.
I'm on my way.
I don't see a lock.
Ha, not even a door handle.
[TURTLECOM BEEPS] Michelangelo, come in.
Donatello, do you read me? [WHITE NOISE BLARES] Oh, something must be jamming our frequency.
The shogun.
[HORSE WHINNIES] [TIRES SQUEAL] [GRUNTS] All the ninja skill in the world isn't gonna stop those robots.
[SIGHS] What I really need is-- Is the other fellas.
Michelangelo! Oh, buddy, am I glad to see you.
Uh, Michelangelo? [GRUNTS] Michelangelo! What are you doing? RAPHAEL: We better follow them on foot.
April, go see what you can dig up on Horatio Stressbar.
He's gotta be the mastermind behind this.
Okay, I'll check the newsroom files.
[ENGINE STARTS] [TIRES SQUEAL] Hey, what's with these black boxes they have on their chests? DONATELLO: I'm not sure, but they look frighteningly like timer devices.
RAPHAEL: Whoa! [SPUTTERS] Jeez, these guys are built like tanks.
Hey, it stopped.
Now all we need is another hundred or so trash barrels and we can stop the rest of them.
Let's see if he'll start again if I remove it.
I'd say that's a good guess.
DONATELLO: Those robots are walking time bombs.
Look! They're heading into the sewers.
[] [] DONATELLO: Those robots are walking time bombs.
Yeah, and they're gonna blow up the sewers.
We've gotta get to the lair.
Come on.
[SIGHS] The second turtle has been duplicated.
And the explosive robots are heading into the sewers.
And when they've blown the sewers to pieces, the city will have to give me the contract to repair them.
Twenty million in cash.
Up front! You can't sell your services unless you create a demand for them.
NULCET: And with the turtles out of the way, the sewers will be just the beginning.
I can use my robots to sabotage bridges, knock down buildings, wreck the subways.
We'll have every major contract in the city.
We'll make billions! [BOTH LAUGH] Okay, I got our spare weapons.
[TURTLECOM BEEPS] APRIL: Guys, I've got something.
Lay it on us, April.
Horatio Stressbar has petitioned the city for a contract to reconstruct the sewers three times in the past month.
Yeah, so, what's so strange about that? The sewers are in perfect condition.
They don't need reconstruction.
They will when those bombs go off.
Then Stressbar must have been behind all those sabotage attempts we thwarted.
He's trying to get a fat QC construction contract by blowing up the sewers.
I would call that a slightly unethical business practice, wouldn't you? Oh, man, those robots are everywhere.
How are we gonna stop them? Like this.
RAPHAEL: They're all leaving the sewers.
How'd you do that? Oh, simple.
Remember how that one robot stopped when I put a trash can on its head? Yeah, I just saw it the flashback.
Well, that tipped me off that the robots were being controlled by radio waves from the park.
The metal in the can interfered with the transmission.
So I set up my own radio gear to penetrate the frequency and control the robots.
I've ordered them to return to Combat Land.
Well, that's swell, Donatello, but our friends are there.
We gotta get them out.
Yeah, and we've gotta shut down the park's master control.
When those robots get near it, its signal will override my controller.
Okay, okay, fine.
We can chat about it later.
Let's go.
VERNON: Some superheroes.
You can't even get us out of a locked room.
Would you cork it? We're doing the best we can.
I have yet to see a door in this place that has a simple handle.
Oh, that's because they're all voice-activated.
What? What? Sure.
I got it right here on tape.
[CLEARS THROAT] Golden mongoose.
IRMA: But you may as well forget it.
Because I think the doors are programmed to respond only to the people that work here.
But Irma, you've got one of the voices on tape.
So? Well, play it back again, dudette.
And this time, pump up the volume.
[NERD CLEARS THROAT] NERD: Golden mongoose.
Merciful heavens! We're free! Where the blazes can those other two turtles be? There.
[] DONATELLO: Come on.
They've gotta be around here somewhere Leonardo! Michelangelo! You're free! Have you seen Irma and Vernon? Uh, cat got your tongue? [BOTH GRUNT] [METALLIC SOUNDS] [GASPS] They're robots! [GRUNTING] Oh, he looks too much like Michelangelo.
I can't do it.
Well, I can, amigo.
Cowabunga! LEONARDO: Hang on, Donatello.
Boy, this is weird.
Leonardo, catch! Something's happened with the explosive robots.
We lost contact with them.
You've got to re-establish contact.
Boost the transmitter power.
[KNOCK AT DOOR] The turtle robots? What are they doing here? Why haven't they captured the other two turtles like they were supposed to? We could be experiencing a total robotic malfunction.
You'd better let them in so I can examine them.
There doesn't seem to be anything externally wrong with them.
Surprise, cheese head! [ALL SCREAM] You lousy turtles! You're not gonna mess up my plans again! I can't tell which one of these gizmos controls the robots.
Well, guess I'll have to use the process of elimination DONATELLO: Come on, we're almost in the clear.
Yeah, as long as we don't run into any robots? IRMA: They got us cornered.
Guys, this may be it.
We're doomed! This had better be it.
[MECHANICS WINDING DOWN] Oh! Leonardo and Michelangelo did it.
The robots are shut down.
Yeah, but they're not.
This park is about to have the biggest fireworks show in history.
You don't need to practice more.
Your skills are awesome just the way they are.
No, no, dude.
You were right.
Yeah, we have been goofing off too much.
I mean, if we'd honed our fighting skills more, we might have avoided a lot of trouble today.
So, what do you say? Let's head to the old practice room and have a real workout.
Are you nuts? After all we've been through today, I wanna relax and check out these Ratzilla movies.
Well, then, so, what'll it be, dudes? Practice or goofing off? I-- I think goofing off-- Goofing off.
Yeah, me too, pretty much.
[] []