The Adventures Of Puss In Boots (2015) s03e02 Episode Script

Sullen Earth

El Gato! 3x02 - Sullen Earth Puss! Why are you smiling? I have proven myself the world's greatest legal mind with my incredible feat of mental agility.
They're gonna throw you in a cell for the rest of your life! And I deserve no less.
Wait, wait, hold up, stop everything.
- Hang on, hang on! - Hmm? 'Scuse me! We're coming through.
It's so hot.
How do you guys live up here? Whatever.
Hold on.
This is all wrong.
It's all wrong! Stop what you're doing.
Stop it! You're forgetting his accomplices.
I want everyone locked up! No! Oh! Oh, hey, there, Zapata.
No! No? Just Just stop already.
And if I don't? Ha! You tell him, boopsie.
Mole King, you may lock me up.
You may punish me.
But you will not punish my friends.
Behold the wrath of Manuel with Shoes! You are no match for Manuel with Shoe Philistine! I am sorry, Manuel with Shoes, but your gift of song is no match for this foe.
I must become Puss in Boots once more and claim my destiny.
Toby, my sword! Hooray! Toby, do not throw! - Puss, catch! - No, no, no, no! Hm? That was incredibly dangerous, but impressive-looking.
I know.
And I've learned nothing as a result.
We will discuss this later.
Ya-ha! En garde! How I have missed this! Hi-ya! Ugh.
Actually, this is not entirely unpleasant.
Eww.
Your Majesty, you must believe me.
My friends are all innocent.
Yeah, I know, but I like a good scapegoat.
A scapegoat? Yes.
A scapegoat.
Toby! Release Uli.
What? That's loco.
In the head.
Do it at once.
I have a plan! All right.
I just want it to stop.
Ah! Guten tag, little piggy.
Get out, goaty-man! Ah! I am free.
Free! The nightmare is over.
My plan has worked splendidly.
Und to think, I did all of this by meinself.
Ja! All alone, I brought the statue forth.
I made the plan.
I tricked everyone.
Und now, Das Blutwolf will return to this world! Und I did it with mein own little goaty-brain.
Hey, did you just say you did this? Ja.
So, this is your fault! Ja! Isn't it wonderful? Guards! Grab him.
He's the one.
Ja! I am the What now? No! Where are you taking me? Oh, woop! Puss! No, no! Ack, no! Puss, help me! Let go of me.
This little goat weirdo is going to jail for, like, infinity years! You guys are off the hook.
Nice job, Manuel.
Manuel? No, no, no, no.
Did you not hear my announcement earlier during the fracas? Honestly, there was a lot going on.
Wha You are serious? You did not see me over by the fountain with the guitar and the sword and Who else missed my earlier proclamation about Manuel going away and Puss returning? Yeah.
Of course.
Okay, everyone? I need your eyes and ears on me.
I am afraid Manuel with Shoes is dead.
What? No.
No! Please, it was a rhetorical device.
He was my best friend! How did this happen? He was so young! Okay.
As I was saying, Manuel is dead.
Not literally.
But do not fear, for Puss in Boots is back.
And I promise, I will never leave you again.
Now, you can make with the hoorays for me.
Hooray! Puss! It's Uli! Yes, I know.
He has been apprehended for his crimes, all of our problems are solved, and I have reminded myself of how great I am.
Dulcinea, you were right.
I can make mistakes and still be amazing.
No.
I overheard Uli talking in his cell about the Bloodwolf.
He's the only one who knows about his weaknesses! He might know how we can stop him.
Puss, we have to get Uli back! Das Blutwolf will not be happy about this.
Unhand me! Gasp! No, no! Oh! This show is so great.
That king is always sayin' stuff.
The guy needs a catchphrase.
Like, "Hey, where's the cheese at?" Oh! He said it.
It's like he can read my mind.
Or like you don't have a mind at all, sweetie.
I demand to be released.
Das Blutwolf will not be happy if his only helper is imprisoned upon his arrival.
Ahh, this guy! Guards! Hoist him aloft! Oh! Oh! You're gonna be in that cell for a long time and nothing you say or do is gonna change that.
Better get comfy.
Let me out! Let me out! Let me out, you swine! Das Blutwolf is coming.
I need to prepare things.
Let me out, you fiends! What are we going to do? I don't know.
Wait, I have an idea.
Ah! You are so brilliant.
You flatter me, handsy puppet.
Pardon me.
Oh, Mole King! Huh? What? Speak, peasant.
I was just wondering, does the king like puppetry of the hands? What the junk is he talking about? I don't know.
Surely a wise king such as yourself knows a thing or two about handsy puppets? Yeah, obviously, I know what that thing you just said is or are.
Uh, but remind me.
Gladly.
Like so.
Ah! Hello, Hans.
Oh, guten morgen, Johan.
Do you want to visit the Maypole mit me? Ja, I would love to celebrate midsummer mit you.
Oh, look at those little guys! The end.
Ah! You like mein puppet show, ja? I am winning you over, ja? We are now friends, ja? What? Nuh-uh.
I hate you and all the stuff you just did.
It's dumb and wrong.
Quit it.
Do not anger the mole king! Seriously, he's just the worst when he's mad.
Like a bear.
Who's on fire.
As you wish, oh, great king und queen.
Huh? It's dumb.
It's definitely dumb.
With my confidence thusly restored, I promise you, I will march down there, fight everyone with effortless skill, and reclaim Uli.
This is the part where you cheer.
- Yay Huh? - Uh Puss, we're all glad you're back to your old self, but you're gonna need more than just confidence if you wanna get Uli back.
Well, obviously, I will also need charm and wit.
And a catchphrase! Perhaps something about cheese? No! You're gonna need an army! There must be hundreds of soldiers down there.
Hundreds of soldiers who I feel very bad for, because they will soon meet my newly-confident blade.
Ha! Now, on to victory.
Yeah-ha! Uh-oh.
I am okay.
I am moving forward.
Okay, seriously, what's the plan? What are you talking about? The plan is, Puss goes down there, does a bunch of fighty stuff and saves the day.
Yay! The pig can talk! Artephius? And the cat knows my name! Oh, this is a nightmare! Nothing makes sense anymore! Anyway I agree.
We're gonna need an actual plan for when Puss gets back.
Yes.
Assuming Puss actually makes it out of there ali Ahem.
A-L-I-V-E.
Olive? We have olives? Where? In the cantina? Goaty-man! Yeah! Uli! Uli! Uli! Uli! I've never seen this one before.
It's crazy! Look at that little guy play that tiny sideways piano bag.
Thank you, thank you.
That is mein favorite folk song about a charming village whose kindly townsfolk succumb to the plague.
More! Encore! Hurrah! What do you say, mein king? Shall I play more? Yeah! I mean, um, I don't care.
Do whatever you want.
Well, in that case, perhaps you could free me from this cage.
I can play much more expressively when I am free.
We want the goaty-man! Play more! Let him out! - Yeah.
- Yeah! Let him out! Let him out! Let him out! Well, I don't know.
No! Moley, he's the one who raised our kingdoms up into the sky! He must pay for his treachery.
Yeah, what she said.
You're stayin' in that cell until you learn your lesson.
And after that, you're stayin' in there until you die.
And after that, you're still stayin' in there because I'm mad! - You tell him, shug.
- Hmm.
Mole King! I am here to take my prisoner back.
You may have defeated Manuel with Shoes, but I promise, you will not fare so well with Puss in What? Puss in Boots? Here? Oh, that is rich.
You know you're outnumbered, like, a billion to one, right? One newly-confident me is plenty.
Now, give me my prisoner.
- Puss! You came for me.
- Huh? I still despise you.
Oh.
Guards, take care of this.
I gotta watch my show.
It's one where the king is saying stuff and then a bunch of other junk happens.
Huh? Whoa! Puss! Yeah! Ha! Look at that footwork.
Ha-ha! Why do we play this game? I know you still have feelings for me.
Only if you count blind rage as a feeling.
Oh! It's my It's my bally.
Now, now, let us not overreact.
My bally! Just wait a moment.
Perhaps we can fix your bally.
You are surprisingly quick when you are angry.
Whoa! We should discuss this.
Bally! Maybe this is a good thing.
Think of all the free time you'll have without your bally.
You ruined my bally! My bally! My bally! My bally! You call this a beating? Stay down.
Stay down.
I have had no fewer than seven beatings that were far worse than this.
Ow.
Ow.
Ha-ha! It looks like you are not the great hero you thought you were.
Perhaps you are correct, Uli.
Maybe I can get my old job back as a crossing guard.
Stop.
Go.
Stop.
I still have it.
Und now that you are beaten, you cannot fulfill the Great Prophecy.
Great Prophecy? Ja! The Great Prophecy says there is only one who has a chance of defeating Das Blutwolf, und this one is a very special cat.
I have given away something important, I fear.
Stupid Uli.
Stupid Uli.
Stupid Uli.
A very special cat! This can only be me.
I am a hero.
I am the hero of the Great Prophecy.
I am The One! Enough talking! I'm still mad about my bally! Do your worst, King.
You cannot hurt the hero of the Great I was wrong about the hurting! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa I am The One! Bally! Uh Dulcinea, do you think Puss is coming back soon? The monster! It's got me! It's got me! It's got me! Toby, Toby! It's me, Puss! Oh.
Hi, Puss.
How did it go? Did you get him? Did you fight a million soldiers? Uh Okay, remember how you all were telling me that all I needed was confidence? Literally no one said that.
Well the good news: I have learned that I am the hero of the Great Prophecy and my confidence is now supreme.
So, you didn't get Uli.
Yeah Um, uh No.
But did you not hear what I just said? I now know that I am The One.
And as The One, I know how to rescue Uli.
I will immediately apply my mighty head bone to this problem.
Puss, maybe Do not interrupt the work of my head bone.
Its power could destroy us all.
He's gonna give himself a headache.
Yield before me, planning problem.
Yield before The One!