The Adventures Of Puss In Boots (2015) s05e12 Episode Script

Through Caverns Measureless

1 [cat purrs, meows.]
[fast, lively flamenco music playing.]
[screams.]
[giggles.]
- [Puss yowling.]
- El Gato! [yowls.]
[dramatic music.]
[Puss screaming.]
Aah! [grunting.]
Aah! [gasps.]
Aah! [electricity crackling.]
[screaming.]
[grunts and groans.]
[groans.]
By the six toes of Felina, what is this place? [grunts.]
[groaning.]
Huh? Aiyee! [Toby.]
Whee! Welcome to the Netherworld! - Isn't it great? - What? I can fly is what! - Whoo! - Aah! [Puss exclaiming.]
[Toby.]
Pig-a-bunga! [Puss.]
Toby, put me down! - Okay! - Aah I I am alive! Whoa! Whoa.
Am I able to fly too? [Artephius.]
No, actually.
I can move stuff with my mind.
You all thought I'd lost it, but it's right here moving stuff! Whoa! [grunts.]
[Dulcinea.]
And check me out! Whoa! [grunts.]
Whoa.
[grunts.]
Is this crazy or what? What is What the What? [Artephius.]
It was the portal, Puss! It gave us all amazing abilities! [gasping.]
What [Babieca.]
Even me.
Good day to you, my old friend.
I I I Puss! The strain of going through the portal must've been too much for him! Are you all right? I I think so.
You know, while I've got you here [Puss.]
Whoa! Whoa! Please, stop using me for muscle gains.
Sorry.
It's fun being strong.
[grunts.]
So the portal imparts magical abilities on anyone who crosses through it in reverse.
Do you have any idea what this means? Oh, I know! It means when Li'l Pequeña escaped through the portal, she became a super villain! No! I-I mean yes! But more importantly, it means that I get magic abilities! Behold! [dramatic mariachi strings.]
[straining.]
[shouts and grunts.]
[growls.]
[grunts.]
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on! [straining.]
[grunts.]
Ow.
[grunts and groans.]
[shouting.]
Aah! Oof.
Aah! [grunts.]
[groaning.]
I do not understand! Everyone else got abilities! What about me? Um, well, maybe you look even more handsome.
Do not be ridiculous.
I was already as handsome as is possible.
Hmm, maybe your ability is inside you, like being able to read minds! Ha! That must be it.
[straining.]
You are all thinking of my hat! No, no, no.
My boots.
No, my hat.
Boots! Queen of hearts! [sighs.]
Rats.
I hate to be that horse, but shouldn't we be doing something about the Blind King? Babieca is right.
We have to stop him.
But which way should we go? Ha! Perhaps my special ability is knowing the right way to go! [creature roaring.]
That is not my special ability.
Now come! [heroic music.]
- Yay! - Whoo-hoo! Puss, are you sure you don't want to ride me? [Puss gasping and panting.]
No.
No, thank you.
It would seem inappropriate for me to ride you, now that you can talk.
[panting.]
[shrieks.]
[maracas rattle.]
Could you pick it up a little? You're kinda slowing us down.
[panting.]
I am not slowing you down.
You are slowing me down.
[exclaiming.]
No! No! I am not okay with this! - Put me down, at once! - [Hecate.]
Intruders! [all gasping.]
Prepare to die! [all shouting and grunting.]
[moans and gasps.]
[shrieking.]
- [grunts.]
- Ah! What? [growls.]
Attack! - Huh? - [grunts.]
Aah! - Aah! - Dulcinea! [grunts.]
[grunting.]
Ha! [grunts.]
Aah! - [thud.]
- [Toby grunts.]
Toby! [growls.]
Puss, look out! - Whoa! - [grunting.]
[straining.]
- Yah! - [grunts.]
Hyah! - Aah! - [grunts.]
One more time! [both grunting.]
[Artephius.]
Oh, there you go! Whoa! [both continue grunting.]
This is getting rather ridiculous.
- [piercing neigh.]
- [Dulcinea groaning.]
[all groaning.]
Whoa! [neighs and chuffs.]
[Hecate moaning.]
Okay, okay! Uncle! [groaning.]
A wizard! Oh.
- A very shabby wizard too.
- Hmm? [growls.]
All right, lady, start talking.
Who do you work for? Yeah! Who? Also, I like your staff.
It's very spooky.
- [grunts.]
- I work for no one! I am the leader of the Grand Netherworld Resistance Army! Our mission: destroy the Blind King.
[gasps.]
Oh, my gosh! That's our mission too.
Hmm Perhaps I was too hasty in judging you enemies.
I am Hecate the Brown-ish.
I was once chief advisor to the benevolent ruler of the Netherworld, the Tiny Queen.
The Tiny Queen? How adorable.
But then the Blind King arrived and usurped the throne.
[Puss chuckles.]
Usurped.
That is a really very really funny word.
- Shh! - Yeah, and it was a real bummer, because things were going pretty good.
We just got rid of the Blood Wolf.
[sighs.]
That guy.
And about 40 obnoxious guys who looked just like you - but with different hats.
- Thirty-nine! Anyway, somehow, the Blind King took over in a single day, and yet, as far as I know, no one has even seen him.
But the Tiny Queen disappeared, I was cast out, and a pall fell over the land.
[munching.]
Ooh, I love it when - a pall falls over things.
- [Toby giggles.]
[Hecate.]
Since then, the Blind King has condemned all who stand against him to slavery or worse.
And I Well, things have not gone well for me.
Is that why you are hauling a sack full of garbage around? What? No! - This is all good stuff! - [clattering.]
I mean, look at this stool! It's perfectly good! - [wood creaking.]
- Whoa! - [flies buzzing.]
- Or this mutton chop! There's still plenty of good eating on this! [munching.]
- Blech.
- [Hecate.]
Now what about you? [chomping.]
What have you got against the Blind King? He's gonna destroy our town and conquer our world! So you see, we are on the same side, Hecate Wizard Face.
Not my name.
But you are right.
We have a common cause.
Yes! We must join forces to defeat the Blind King once and for all! - [distant screaming.]
- Did you hear that? We'd better get to Resistance HQ and make a plan! [dramatic music.]
[Puss whimpers.]
Behold, the headquarters of the Grand Netherworld Resistance Army.
And, uh, where exactly are the fortifications? There are none.
Uh yes.
Uh, "headquarters" implies a structure of some sort.
Well, excuse me, but I've been too busy fighting a losing war to build a fortress.
But where's the Resistance Army? You're looking at it! - You're the entire army? - Uh-huh.
- So there's no one else? - Nuh-uh.
- Just you.
- Hot-cha-cha-cha-cha! I see.
My dear Hecate, forgive me for asking, but how are we supposed to defeat the Blind King with an army of just six? Oh, please.
We got a great team here! I'm a powerful wizard.
You have that screechy thing.
You move things with your mind.
You're super strong.
You can fly.
And you Remind me what you do again? Uh what do I do? I be Puss in Boots, the leader of this team.
And I do [grunting.]
En garde! swordy stuff.
I dance! [lively guitar music.]
I am the hide-and-go-seek champion! Puss? And this! [mimics water drop sound.]
Is there a leak? No, no, no! It is just my mouth sounds! - Huh? Huh? Huh? - Wow! Hmm.
Puss is a great hero where we come from.
Yes! Ha! You see? I believe you? Why did you say it like that? Like you did not mean it.
Did I? Oh, no.
I meant um Who's hungry? - Me, me, me! - I am! Always! [distant screaming.]
Um what was that? The Zephilim.
Sorry, the what? The Zephilim.
An army of Netherworldian warriors who serve the Blind King.
They are fierce and deadly and will strike down anyone who opposes their king.
And if they find you, they will kill you till you're dead! [all screaming.]
[Hecate.]
Seriously, no one wants a bite? - [munching.]
- [bees buzzing.]
All right, this plan depends on the element of surprise.
We've only got one shot at this, people, so let's make it count.
Here's the Blind King's fortress.
Babieca will trot up to the gate and tap on it with his hoof.
No one is ever suspicious of horses who don't talk.
We're very trustworthy.
[Hecate.]
They'll see a horse and be like, "Huh, a friendly horse.
Well, better let him in.
" And then when they open the gate, Babieca will do his screechy thing, at which point Toby will soar in carrying Dulcinea, who will proceed to rain fury on the Blind King's minions.
[grunting.]
With my new best friends, Lupe and Mariana.
Mwah.
[Hecate.]
Finally, Artephius and I will take up the rear, and, using our combined abilities, we will destroy the Blind King and remove him from power once and for all! [all cheering.]
[Puss.]
Excuse me! I could not help but notice that your plan has one fatal flaw.
And what's that? I am not in it at all! Oh, I forgot to mention you'll be keeping lookout.
Over here.
Way, way, way, way, way way way over here.
I will not! Okay, I hate to be blunt, but the reality is, you are the weakest creature in the entire Netherworld.
[sighs.]
Puss, she's right.
We can't let you join us.
It would be much too dangerous for you.
I'm sorry.
[melancholy music.]
[sighs.]
I understand.
- I will go.
- Puss, don't be mad.
[sighs.]
I am not mad.
I am not anything.
[eyeballs gurgling.]
[Puss.]
Stupid magical abilities.
Stupid Hecate Wizard Face.
Stupid Netherworld! I will show them what I can do! I will single-handedly defeat all whom I encounter! Do you hear me, Netherworld? I am Puss in Boots! And I am not afraid of Ay! - [dramatic music.]
- Huh? You should be.
[chuckles nervously.]
Well, I enjoy a challenge.
Get him! [all grunting.]
Ouch! [grunting.]
- [grunts.]
- [shouts.]
That is what can be done without magical abilities.
- [grunting.]
- [yelling.]
[groaning.]
Aah! - [yowls, grunting.]
- [grunts.]
[groaning.]
[labored breathing.]
[sword clatters.]
[groans.]
Huh? [growls.]
Why won't you stay down? Because I am Puss in Boots! - [grunts.]
- [Zuva.]
Stop! You are mighty for one so small.
What quarrel have you with the Zephilim? [panting, groaning.]
Take him to the place of gathering and give him the herbs of healing.
- But, Zuva - Shut the mouth of talking.
[dramatic music.]
[Hecate.]
Stop! [all grunt.]
What the what? [sniffing.]
Did I forget to put on deodorant? [distant screaming.]
They're here.
This is not ideal.
What's our move? - [crowing.]
- [shouting.]
Our move is this.
[shouting.]
[both shouting.]
- [all gasping.]
- [yelling.]
[all shout.]
[grunting.]
[yelling.]
[surprised shouts.]
[straining, groans.]
[all grunting.]
- Aah! - [piercing neighing.]
Aah! [grunting.]
[laughs.]
Whoo! [all shouting.]
[both grunt.]
[growling.]
[straining.]
Whoa! [all yelling.]
- [neighing.]
- [gasps.]
[all growling.]
Surrender! Ugh.
Pass.
[rumbling.]
[confused muttering.]
[growls.]
Find them! Um, Hecate? We may have lost the element of surprise.
Ya reckon? [Puss groans.]
I kept knocking him down.
He kept getting back up.
[gasps.]
He is awake.
[grunting.]
[groans.]
Why have you brought me here? I will never talk! Not to servants of the Blind King.
- Huh? - [all.]
Huh? [laughter.]
What is funny? Is there an inside joke here? It is rude to laugh at an inside joke and not explain.
[Zuva.]
That's what you think? That we work for the Blind King? I think you are going to tell me you do not.
We do not.
He is our sworn and mortal enemy! He has captured many of us and controlled their minds, forcing them to do his bidding.
But we remain free! Free to fight the Blind King! Free to bring back our beloved Tiny Queen! Hmm.
Then it would seem we are on the same side.
I am Puss in Boots, of the the World? What do you call the not Netherworld? We call it Donkey Town.
I don't know why.
I am Zuva, leader of the free Zephilim.
This is Zava, Zeeva, Ziva, Zurva, Little Zuva, Big Zuva, Zoooova with a long "oo," Zupha, other Zuva.
I am never going to remember all those names.
Now that I say them out loud, we kind of stink at naming people.
Couldn't there be a Betty or something in there? Carla? Bob? O brave leader of the free Zephilim, I propose we join forces to defeat the fiendish Blind King! [Zephilim chanting.]
Down with the Blind King! Down with the Blind King! Down with the Blind King! [Zuva.]
Silence! Perhaps, Puss of the Boots.
But first, you must prove yourself worthy.
Do you Do you want a resumé? No.
You must survive the Zoon-Zaree! [Zephilim chanting.]
Zoon-Zaree! Zoon-Zaree! Zoon-Zaree! Zoon-Zaree! [groans.]
I do not like the sound of that.
[chanting continues.]
Zoon-Zaree! Zoon-Zaree! Zoon-Zaree! Zoon-Zaree! [fast, lively flamenco music playing.]

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