The Adventures Of Puss In Boots (2015) s06e04 Episode Script

The Scarlet Panther

1 El Gato! Ah, Babieca, there is nothing I love more than a successful mission to reclaim stolen treasure.
The sun on my fur.
The breeze on my whiskers.
The smell of Pickles? Seriously, what kind of thieves steal pickles? - Puss in Boots! - Aah! Aah! Oof! Whoa! Ooh! Um, hello.
Ignacio! What is the meaning of this? Puss in Boots, hello.
- I am - The Scarlet Panther! The world's greatest loan shark.
Tremble in fear, for he can kill with but a single glance.
I've got this, dumb-dumb.
Um, may I help you? Yes.
You can start by handing over those boots.
Boots! He wants my boots! That is preposterous! You surely have a head injury of some sort.
I assure you, I do not.
Well, then, let us amend that! Yeah, get him, Panther! Scratch him! Claw him! Hit him! Yah! Okay! I wish you no harm! You could have fooled me! I simply want my boots back! Your boots? These boots I am wearing, you're saying are yours? Yes.
I've been searching for them for most of my life! You are mistaken, Señor Panther.
I have had these legendary boots since kittenhood.
They're more than just boots.
They are a symbol of everything I stand for.
When I take them off, I am just an ordinary, incredibly handsome cat.
But when I put them on, I become Puss in Shush! Hear my tale of woe.
As a pitiful orphan kitten, those boots were my prized possessions, the only thing I could truly call my own.
Then one day, a group of street urchins stole my boots! Ruffians! It hardened my heart, and I vowed to do whatever it took to become disgustingly rich, in the hopes of one day regaining them.
And I have kept that vow.
I have everything, except my beloved boots.
I will never give up my boots! Never! Even knowing they were stolen from a poor, helpless orphan? Do not do the eye thing.
I do the eye thing.
I can prove it.
If they weren't my boots, would I know about the Secret pocket? The secret pocket? My greatest mystery! How could you possibly know? Unless, unless Unless they were mine.
My friend, you are not Puss in Boots.
You are Puss in Stolen Boots! For years, I have been defined by these boots, but it would seem I have been living a lie.
And now is the time to make it right.
Give me un momento to say good-bye.
Good-bye, Puss! - I meant to the boots! - Right, got it, sure, okay.
We had some good times, did we not? Salud! Go to sleep, little boots I'm sorry.
Are we done here? My boot brother I hope they bring you as much joy as they have brought me.
Babieca, we go.
Take good care of them.
This is hard to watch.
It is much harder without the boots.
We should probably go now.
Farewell, boots! Farewell.
Oh, why, hello there, and welcome to San Lorenzo.
I'll be your host, Rudy Rutabager.
And you are? Artephius? Nice to meet you, Artephius! Wahoo! Hey! Go on, scram! We got enough cats in this town already! Get! Kid Pickles, do you not remember me? Surely you do, Toby! It is I, your best friend, Puss in Boots! You're not Puss in Boots.
You're not in any boots.
Kids, don't be silly.
Of course that's Puss.
He just doesn't have his boots.
I didn't know they came off! I thought they stayed on forever, like hooves or underwear.
- Puss, are you all right? - No.
I am not all right! I have been living a lie! Hmm, not your real fur color, huh? What? No! It is my boots! They were never really mine.
They belonged to the Scarlet Panther.
Since I was a kitten, I've been Puss in Stolen Boots.
So I had no choice but to return them to their rightful owner.
Oh, just because you don't have your boots doesn't mean you're not you.
Do not be ridiculous.
Without my boots, I am just "Puss In.
" And everyone knows you cannot end a sentence with a preposition! What have I become? But you'll always be Puss in Boots, even without the boots.
We'll just get you some different shoes.
Think of it as a fun chance to change your look, like growing a mustache, or bleaching your fur, which I I hear some folks do.
I am a natural ginger! We have a ton of shoes in the dress-up box.
I feel like these are the shoes of dead people.
You can't prove that.
Look! You could be Puss in Loafers or Puss in Sandals or Puss in whatever these are.
Oh, talk about on trend, meow! I do not know, Dulcinea.
None of these shoes really feel like me.
My boots were more than just boots.
They were Yeah, yeah, a symbol.
I've heard the speech.
But how do you know you don't like something until you try it? I suppose I do not.
Then you know what that means.
Fashion show! Hola.
Each step in these slippers is like walking on a tiny cloud.
See? Fashion changes can be fun.
You're still the same Puss, just in different shoes.
No, no, no, no, I am a changed cat! My boots were so hard and made me stomp with purpose! But my slippers are soft, and I have to walk slowly so they do not slip off my feet-paws.
I am reborn! Sure.
Different shoes make you walk differently.
But like I said, you're still you.
No, I am totally different.
Nope.
Still you.
- It is like I am a whole new cat! - Nope, but you're not.
I am even considering experimenting with contractions.
You wouldn't! Oh, I would.
Behold, it is a wonder-day! You see? I contracted "wonderful" and "day.
" Yeah, that's not how contractions work.
Yes, it's! It's what? Like, yes, it is.
It's.
I am certain I have heard people say that.
Fine.
Contractions or not, you're still Puss in Boots.
Puss in Slippers.
Puss! I almost didn't recognize you without your boots and usual scene-stealing demeanor.
Yes, in shoes this cozy, how can I be anything but chill? Okay One leche, coming right up! Hold that thought.
Puss in Boots loved the leche.
But Puss in Slippers is craving Mmm.
Juice! Hit me with the guff! That is a contraction of "good" and "stuff.
" Uh, I'm kind of a one-trick pony when it comes to beverage-makin', laddie.
- Ah! - Ah, give me a break.
Huh? Fruit-tacular! What in San Lorenzo is that? This is my new signature beverage liquid! I will call it fruit-mushings! Frushings! Puss! Get back in here and clean this mess up! "Get a job," they said.
"It'll be fun," they said.
Ah.
Hey, 'sup? What is the haps? Is that Puss? Uh, what's a haps? Hey, Puss! It's me! Eames! Yeah! My good buddy, the Eames-man! I-I'm your good buddy? And I have a nickname, too? Oh! These are my happy tears! - Huh? - Ooh! Oh, very pretty.
May I borrow these stones? Eh, knock yourself out.
Thank you.
Turquoise necklaces! Turqlaces! Get your turqlaces here! You want 'em, we got 'em! Turqlaces! Hey! You can't just squish any old words together! It ain't right! Ha! I do not play by the man's rules.
Or Mools.
What's wrong, kids? This slippers guy is bananas! I miss Puss in Boots.
Where is my money? Yeah, where is his money? I just need a few days! Funny, that's what you said a few days ago.
Fine.
So I don't have your money.
What are you going to do about it? I'll gut you, just like I did Puss in Boots! Puss is dead? How else could I get his boots? Wait a minute! How do we know those are really Puss's boots? Puss has stepped on me so many times, I see them in my night terrors! They are his boots! Puss in Boots is dead! If I can kill the great Puss in Boots, imagine what I can do to a lowly thief with an overdue bill.
Okay, here, take it! You were right, boss! They're really buying it.
Yes.
Conning that idiot out of his boots was my greatest scam ever.
Shh! If Puss in Boots is dead, then San Lorenzo is ours for the taking! Ah, just look at it.
A town with no hero to save it from our pillaging! Hey, isn't that Puss in Boots? Doesn't Puss in Boots wear boots? I don't know, but that cat in slippers is rolling this way! Amigos! What brings you to town? Stealing stuff! What? I panic under pressure.
Well, you are in luck, as these turqlaces are a real steal! How would you gentleman like two for the price of two? Oh! Sounds like a real bargain! Amigos, gracias.
Puss, there are thieves in town! I know.
They just bought some turqlaces.
- Help! - Aren't you gonna do anything? Yes.
I am going to make frushings.
I stole some really great stuff! I got away with an arm and a leg! Ha! I said no more juice! Puss in Slippers is driving me out of my mind.
Ugh, and he's driving me out of my kitchen! Frushings? Whoever heard of such a thing? We need to get his boots back, now! The boots! Tell me again about how you tricked Puss in Boots into giving up his boots using a crudely formed lie.
Uh, you were there.
But it's such a good story! And it's even better in your fancy accent.
I convinced Puss that his boots were mine by revealing I knew about their secret pocket.
But what Puss didn't know is that all boots have a secret pocket.
He's right.
Such covert craftsmanship.
So the boots really do belong to Puss.
He doesn't have to be Puss in Slippers anymore.
We have to tell him.
You go.
I'll get the boots.
- How? - I have a few ideas.
I'm talking about punching.
Lots and lots of punching.
Good luck.
Ya-ha! Whoa! Puss! You have to hear this! Call me the Cat.
Or El Caterino.
Or His Catness.
It was all a lie! The Panther has been using your boots to claim he killed you and intimidate thieves into paying him.
Don't you see? You don't have to be Puss in Slippers anymore! But I like being Puss in Slippers! - But, Puss, the Panther lied! - It does not matter.
I would not return to being Puss in Boots if you gave me a million frushings.
I got 'em! Whoo! Here you go, laddie.
- Pass.
- What? Dulcinea, please explain to this buzzkill that my feet will nevermore be crammed into those foot coffins.
The only thing going into a coffin will be you! Hola, amigo.
Can I offer you a frushings? You could have just said no, bro.
I believe you have something of mine.
Two somethings.
Boots, is what I'm getting at.
Ugh, fine.
He doesn't want them anyway.
Puss, come on! You're just gonna let him take your boots back? Puss in Slippers does not care.
Nor does His Catness.
No one really calls him that.
Puss in Slippers.
Pathetic.
Not even worth killing.
So you will leave town and never come back? Of course.
After I get my revenge for this boot theft by destroying your town! Go ahead.
Puss in Slippers cares not.
He is no hero.
Just a regular bro-cat who enjoys relaxing.
Who enjaxings.
All right, fine, then I guess you won't mind if I slay Him.
Eames-man! No! Whoa, whoa, whoa! I thought Puss in Slippers was a pacifist.
When you try to hurt my best friend the shoes matter not! He called me his best friend! I'm so happy now! En garde! Ha! Ha ha! Whoa! Huh? This is harder without the boots.
Ow! Whoa! Yay! - Ha! - Ow! Not so impressive without your boots, eh? Aah! Leave her alone! Make me! Pajuna! Re-boot me! Aye, aye! No! Aah! Ha ha! The boots are back, baby! En garde! - Puss! You're back! - Yes! Ignacio, remove this Scarlet Punk from my sight at once.
Yes, sir! He is so beefy.
Aw, I'll miss Puss in Slippers.
As will I, Toby, as will I.
But as the wisest cat I know once told me, he is still me, just in different, more stylish footwear.
Does that mean I can have your slippers? Do as you please.
Ooh! Ooh! I can taste the magic.
My friends, now that I am Puss in Boots once more, I am going to kill it on this thing.
One cannot do this in slippers! This is a terrible idea! Ha ha! Oh, no! Ay! One cannot do that in boots either.