The Adventures Of Puss In Boots (2015) s06e11 Episode Script
The Moving Finger Writes
1 [CAT PURRS, MEOWS.]
[FAST, LIVELY FLAMENCO MUSIC PLAYING.]
[SCREAMS.]
[GIGGLES.]
- [PUSS YOWLING.]
- El Gato! [YOWLS.]
[RUMBLING.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
So that's it.
The end of the world.
The end of everything.
There must be something we can do! Puss, two gods were just here and they couldn't stop it.
You heard what the Tiny Queen said.
Our world is going to collide with the Netherworld and be destroyed! What are we gonna do? [SHIMMERING TONE.]
[PUSS.]
There is only one who is powerful enough to stop this.
We must find the Great Mage Sino.
But, Puss, we don't even - [RUMBLING.]
- [BOTH GASPING.]
[RUMBLING CONTINUES.]
We must find Sino at once! [PANICKED YELLING.]
We don't even know if he's still alive! He created this town.
A sorcerer of such power can never die.
He must still exist somewhere, and we will find him.
But, Puss, we don't even [GASPS.]
[SIGHS.]
Dulcinea! What is it? When we were fighting the Bloodwolf and I was in the Realm of Shades, there was that Tulpa, Orange? She said Sino created three Tulpas.
That means there are still two around.
Maybe if we can find one of them, they'll know where Sino is! Yes! We must seek far and wide, spanning the globe in our search for a Tulpa! Or we could just ask the Tulpa who's right here in town.
There is a Tulpa here? Yes, of course.
I brought her here, remember? You brought a Tulpa.
To San Lorenzo.
Yes.
I'm positive I mentioned it.
You did not.
I surely did! Behold! [MYSTERIOUS MUSIC.]
Let's see.
If we're going to make my famous harvest slaw, we'll need cabbage and carrots, and I brought a Tulpa to San Lorenzo, and vinegar and apples.
[DUCHESS.]
Ha! You see? Your mind works in a strange and annoying fashion.
Where is this Tulpa? Oh, it's someone you all know quite well.
I'm not a Tulpa.
I'm a goblin! No, you're definitely not a goblin.
Look.
No neck, neck.
No neck, neck.
No neck.
Let me see that.
But I Actually, that kind of makes sense, uh-huh.
It explains why I can't curse people.
I keep tryin'! Curse! Curse! Curse! [TOBY CHOMPING.]
See what I mean? [GRUNTS.]
[CRYING.]
How can she not know she's a Tulpa? Sino must have hidden it from her.
But her knowledge of him should still be inside her somewhere.
- You must help us find Sino! - [SCREAMING.]
How am I supposed to do that? I don't know anything about him.
Search within yourself.
Please, Cleevil.
The world needs him! The world needs him? [FAINTLY.]
Cleevil, are you okay? - Cleevil? - [SHUDDERS.]
Uh, hello? [GASPS.]
- [RUMBLING.]
- [GASPING.]
[GASPING.]
[DUCHESS.]
Huh? [DULCINEA.]
Huh? [ECHOING.]
Artephius, is it time? [SNIFFS.]
Time for what? [YELPS.]
[GASPS.]
- [GASPING.]
- [ELECTRICITY SPARKING.]
[ALL GASPING.]
[SIGHS.]
[ECHOING.]
It is time.
Then we must go to the Forbidden Citadel.
[THUNDER BOOMS.]
[GROANS.]
What happened? Enchiladas! Oh, dear.
A forbidden citadel! Someone should stay to protect the orphans.
I volunteer.
Okay, have fun! We will find Sino.
This I swear.
[WIND WHISTLING, THUNDER CRASHING.]
[PUSS.]
The Forbidden Citadel.
I just know this is going to be bad.
Anything with "Forbidden" in the name is trouble.
I learned that in the Forbidden Temple.
And I really, very, really, really, very learned it again in the Forbidden Litter Box.
Ew.
So Orange was the first Tulpa, and Cleevil is the second.
Could Artephius be the third? He did kind of go into a trance back there.
I don't think I'm a Tulpa.
But sometimes I think I'm a caterpillar, so who knows? Or the third Tulpa could be at the Citadel.
Are we getting close, by the way? [WHISPERING.]
I kind of have to tinkle.
[GROANS.]
This is exactly why I told everyone to go before we left! Look! [THUNDER CRASHING.]
Exactly as I pictured it.
Terrible.
Oh, it's okay, Puss.
We can handle anything.
As long as it's not guarded by a oh, oh, ah, I don't know, a let's say a a Red Sheevrah! [DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING.]
Oh, wow, it's a [GROANS.]
You do not have to tell me what it is.
[THUNDER BOOMING.]
[THUNDER CRASHES.]
[SOFTLY.]
Li'l Pequeña was a Blue Sheevrah.
Is a Red Sheevrah something like that? Yep.
But, oh, my gosh, so much worse! Blue Sheevrahs can access your memories and change them.
Red Sheevrahs can access your memories and take on any form from them.
So this thing can turn into any enemy we have ever fought? Oh, you betcha! And it can turn into any one of us.
Anyone or anything you've ever known.
Lasagna? I don't Have you been carrying lasagna in your pocket? Well, what else are pockets for? I've also got pancakes in my shoes.
I could go for a pancake.
There is no time for pancakes! We must man up and do this.
- [DULCINEA CLEARS THROAT.]
- Sorry, or woman up.
Cat up.
Tulpa up.
Whatever.
We must up! [LIVELY MUSIC.]
Sheevrah! We seek Sino and demand entrance to the Forbidden Citadel! [THUNDER CRASHES.]
Okay.
I Uh, pardon? Fine.
Go right in.
Uh I thought this would be more challenging.
Oh, it will be.
Anyone may enter the Citadel.
Thousands have, over the centuries.
Do you know how many have reached the center? Um seven? None! I have destroyed them all, just as I will destroy you! You will never reach the center, and that is where what you seek lies.
We will reach the center, Sheevrah! I am the Guardian of the Forbidden Citadel! Enter, and be destroyed! [RED SHEEVRAH CACKLES.]
[RED SHEEVRAH.]
We are going to have some fun.
[CACKLING.]
This place seems familiar.
A bit like the Castle of the Witch Sisters, yes? They must have used the same architect.
No.
It's just [ECHOING VOICES.]
He is here.
Ah! What is it, Artephius? I sense great evil! We've got to turn back! No! We must find Sino before it is too late! - Hello, future coffin stuffers.
- [GASPS.]
Let's see.
What form will I face you in first? Let me search your memories for something big.
Ah! [GRUNTING.]
Okay.
Bad choice.
Much better.
[GRUNTING.]
Let's dance, kids! - [DULCINEA SHRIEKING.]
- Everyone, take cover! I will handle this! [BOTH GRUNTING.]
- Oh! - Go now! [BOTH YELL.]
- [GRUNTS.]
- Pigmalion! It is good to see you, even if you are trying to kill me.
[BOTH GRUNT.]
You understand that I'm not really Pigmalion, right? Oh, yes, of course.
I am a bit distracted.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[PUSS SHOUTS.]
[SCREAMING.]
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[PUSS LAUGHS.]
What kind of creature has such a ridiculous vulnerability? [GROANING.]
[PUSS GRUNTS.]
Huh? [SIGHS.]
My friends! You may come out now! Is it over? I have a feeling she will be back.
Oh, I don't like this place.
We should get out of here.
But we must find Sino and save the world! It's too dangerous.
Please, Puss, you have to take me somewhere safe.
- But I - I need you to protect me.
Get me away from here.
I'm scared! You have to help me! What about our friends? You are my big, strong hero, and you can't say no to protecting me.
Huh? Dulcinea would never say such a thing! Mm [CACKLES.]
You can't fight Dulcinea! Your feelings are too strong to - [GRUNTS.]
- [GASPS.]
Okay, wrong about that.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[GASPS.]
You're smarter than I thought.
But maybe your friends aren't.
[GROWLS.]
Huh? I must find the others.
Puss? Where are you? Puss, I didn't think to bring a sword, and now I really wish I had.
[GASPS.]
- Dulcinea! - Puss! We have to go.
[DULCINEA YELPS.]
But Cleevil and Artephius? They can take care of themselves.
Go! Okay.
Wait.
Artephius can take care of himself? Why would you say that? - He is an alchemist.
He can Huh? - [GRUNTS.]
He has pancakes in his shoes! Yes, he is confused.
I should have seen that in your mind.
But you are hard to read.
So many memories.
There is so much in there, hidden even from you.
What are you? I'm Dulcinea, and I'm about to kick your butt.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
- [GASPS.]
- [GRUNTS.]
Where did you learn to fight like that? [GRUNTING.]
I don't know! [GRUNTS.]
Where did I learn to fight like that? What is a Tulpa, anyway? It's a being magically created by a sorcerer.
- Or possibly it's some kind of pastry.
- Huh? If you want straight answers, you're asking the wrong guy.
- [DUCHESS.]
Arty! Cleevil! - [CLEEVIL.]
Huh? Oh, thank goodness I found you.
Sweetie cheese! I felt so guilty not coming with you, I couldn't stand it! Wait.
You didn't come with us? Hmm.
Arty, you're in terrible danger, and you need to, uh, turn your back for just a moment.
Okeydokey! [CHUCKLES WICKEDLY.]
[GASPS.]
[GRUNTS.]
She's the Sheevrah! Yay! No! Not yay! Very not yay! [SCREAMS AND GRUNTS.]
Ugh, I should just stick to turning into monsters.
Ooh.
Now this is a good one! Creepy! - [SPITS.]
- [BOTH YELP.]
Come on.
Go, go, go! [PANTING.]
[CHUCKLES.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
Artephius, do something! Righty-o! [MUFFLED GROANING.]
Ugh! This pancake smells like feet.
That's not the kind of something I was thinking of.
[BOTH YELP.]
Well, I-I think I have some poppies in here.
- [GASPS.]
- [SCOFFS.]
You're going to fight me with flowers? Nope! I call 'em poppies because they go pop! [EXCLAIMING.]
Run for it, kid! I got this! I'm good with that.
[PUSS GRUNTING.]
Whoa! [YELLING.]
[BREATHING SHAKILY.]
[SIGHS.]
[DOOR CREAKS.]
Hiya, Bootsy! Are you Artephius or the Sheevrah? Hmm.
Uh, can you give me a hint? Clearly, you are Artephius.
Okay, one more hint.
[DULCINEA SCREAMS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[PANTING.]
Puss? Is it really you? Yes.
But of course the Sheevrah would say that.
[CLEEVIL SCREAMS, GRUNTS.]
Guys! You okay? - [PUSS.]
Yes! - [DULCINEA.]
I think I am.
[ARTEPHIUS.]
Eh, I could eat.
[GRUNTS.]
Come, my friends.
[GRUNTS.]
[EXHALES.]
[GRUNTING.]
- [RUMBLING.]
- [GASPS.]
Dulcinea! Look out! - [DULCINEA SCREAMS.]
- [CRASHING.]
[PUSS.]
Huh? [CHUCKLES.]
You are quite flexible.
[STRAINED.]
I'm just glad these spikes aren't any closer together.
[GRUNTS.]
We must determine which door to go through.
Only two that none of us have passed through.
- There and there.
- How much you want to bet it's the one with the giant swinging mace blocking the way? That seems reasonable.
It's okay, Puss! I've been watching that thing, and I've precisely calculated the timing of its swings! You just have to jump when I tell you! [GRUNTS.]
Excellent! Get ready.
Three, two, one [GASPS.]
jump! [PANTING.]
- [ARTEPHIUS SCREAMING.]
- [CLEEVIL.]
No! - Puss! - [GASPS.]
[PUSS LAUGHS.]
How did you know it was me? [SCOFFS.]
Artephius could not calculate his own shoe size! It's 11! I had it tattooed on my ankles so I wouldn't forget it.
[BOTH STRUGGLING.]
[GASPS.]
Dulcinea! [SCREAMING.]
[ARTEPHIUS.]
I got ya, Dulcie! Who's got you? Oh [STRAINING.]
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[GASPS.]
[ALL SCREAMING.]
[ALL GRUNT.]
[CLEEVIL.]
Huh? [BOTH STRUGGLING.]
[PUSS.]
Quickly! To the door! [DULCINEA GRUNTS.]
[CLEEVIL GRUNTS.]
- Come on, Artephius! - [GRUNTS.]
[YELLS.]
[PANTING.]
[DOOR RATTLES.]
It's locked! [PUSS.]
Then duck! [GRUNTS.]
[ALL YELLING.]
No! [ECHOING.]
[STONE SCRAPING.]
[ALL STRAINING.]
Puss? Puss! [PUSS GRUNTING AND PANTING.]
I am all right.
[SHIMMERING TONE.]
Huh? [GASPING.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC.]
[CHAINS RATTLING.]
[WHIMPERING.]
[GROWLS.]
[ARTEPHIUS SCREAMS.]
[SIGHS.]
Oh! Oh, oh, thank goodness you've come! I've been a prisoner here for I don't know how long.
Please free me! I can't take it anymore! Please! Uh, I am sorry, but you look really, very, really much like you might be our friend Artephius' evil twin.
[MAN.]
Evil? Is it evil to want to change the world for the better? Is it evil to impose order? To bring about peace at all costs? To bend the world to my iron will? Is this evil? [LAUGHING MANIACALLY.]
All right, then.
Thoughts? Well, obviously we can't free him.
You must free me! You will free me, or I will make you pay! Oh, don't free him, Puss! Don't do it! He's evil, can't you see? No! Can't you see? - No! - See? No! See no.
See.
No.
Can it be? They are like two halves of a single whole! - [MANIACAL LAUGHTER.]
- [ARTEPHIUS WHIMPERING.]
I must free him.
- [GASPS.]
- That's nuts! Yes! Yes.
Do it! Puss! No! Don't do it, Puss! [DRAMATIC CHORAL MUSIC.]
Yes! [LOCK CLICKS.]
[MANIACAL LAUGHTER.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Thank you, Cat! - [GRUNTS.]
- [PUSS SCREAMS AND GRUNTS.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
[SCREAMS.]
At last, I am free to fix this muddled mess of a world! To impose reason and order on the foolish mass of humanity! I will correct all those who do not conform! This world will be mine! [MANIACAL LAUGHTER.]
I think not.
[GRUNTS.]
- Ha! - [GRUNTS.]
You think you can stop me? - One little cat? - [GRUNTS.]
- [YELLS.]
- [PUSS GRUNTS.]
Maybe two cats! - [CLEEVIL GRUNTS.]
- [YELLS.]
Huh? And a Tulpa! Where did you get that ball? No idea.
[GRUNTING.]
[ALL GRUNTING.]
- [PUSS YELLS.]
- [GROANS.]
[PUSS GRUNTS.]
- [IMPACT THUD.]
- [YELLS.]
[PUSS GRUNTS.]
[ALL SCREAMING, GRUNTING.]
[CACKLING.]
[GASPS.]
You will be the first to fall, Cat.
[CHOKING.]
The first of many.
I will turn this world into a paradise of conformity, with myself as its unquestioned master! Artephius! Go to him! I can't.
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY.]
[COUGHING AND CHOKING.]
Artephius! - [PUSS CHOKING.]
- [LAUGHING.]
[GAGGING, COUGHS.]
[GASPS.]
[CHOKING.]
[PUSS GRUNTS.]
[GASPING.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC.]
[GASPS.]
[GROANS.]
[CLEEVIL.]
Artephius! Now it is time! It is time.
Stay back! Stay back! [GRUNTS.]
Artephius! No! I-I won't go back! - We cannot be one again! - [SHOUTS.]
- No! - [GROANING.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC.]
It is time.
[DRAMATIC CHORAL MUSIC.]
[SHIMMERING TONE.]
Si Sino? Yes.
[FAST, LIVELY FLAMENCO MUSIC PLAYING.]
[FAST, LIVELY FLAMENCO MUSIC PLAYING.]
[SCREAMS.]
[GIGGLES.]
- [PUSS YOWLING.]
- El Gato! [YOWLS.]
[RUMBLING.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
So that's it.
The end of the world.
The end of everything.
There must be something we can do! Puss, two gods were just here and they couldn't stop it.
You heard what the Tiny Queen said.
Our world is going to collide with the Netherworld and be destroyed! What are we gonna do? [SHIMMERING TONE.]
[PUSS.]
There is only one who is powerful enough to stop this.
We must find the Great Mage Sino.
But, Puss, we don't even - [RUMBLING.]
- [BOTH GASPING.]
[RUMBLING CONTINUES.]
We must find Sino at once! [PANICKED YELLING.]
We don't even know if he's still alive! He created this town.
A sorcerer of such power can never die.
He must still exist somewhere, and we will find him.
But, Puss, we don't even [GASPS.]
[SIGHS.]
Dulcinea! What is it? When we were fighting the Bloodwolf and I was in the Realm of Shades, there was that Tulpa, Orange? She said Sino created three Tulpas.
That means there are still two around.
Maybe if we can find one of them, they'll know where Sino is! Yes! We must seek far and wide, spanning the globe in our search for a Tulpa! Or we could just ask the Tulpa who's right here in town.
There is a Tulpa here? Yes, of course.
I brought her here, remember? You brought a Tulpa.
To San Lorenzo.
Yes.
I'm positive I mentioned it.
You did not.
I surely did! Behold! [MYSTERIOUS MUSIC.]
Let's see.
If we're going to make my famous harvest slaw, we'll need cabbage and carrots, and I brought a Tulpa to San Lorenzo, and vinegar and apples.
[DUCHESS.]
Ha! You see? Your mind works in a strange and annoying fashion.
Where is this Tulpa? Oh, it's someone you all know quite well.
I'm not a Tulpa.
I'm a goblin! No, you're definitely not a goblin.
Look.
No neck, neck.
No neck, neck.
No neck.
Let me see that.
But I Actually, that kind of makes sense, uh-huh.
It explains why I can't curse people.
I keep tryin'! Curse! Curse! Curse! [TOBY CHOMPING.]
See what I mean? [GRUNTS.]
[CRYING.]
How can she not know she's a Tulpa? Sino must have hidden it from her.
But her knowledge of him should still be inside her somewhere.
- You must help us find Sino! - [SCREAMING.]
How am I supposed to do that? I don't know anything about him.
Search within yourself.
Please, Cleevil.
The world needs him! The world needs him? [FAINTLY.]
Cleevil, are you okay? - Cleevil? - [SHUDDERS.]
Uh, hello? [GASPS.]
- [RUMBLING.]
- [GASPING.]
[GASPING.]
[DUCHESS.]
Huh? [DULCINEA.]
Huh? [ECHOING.]
Artephius, is it time? [SNIFFS.]
Time for what? [YELPS.]
[GASPS.]
- [GASPING.]
- [ELECTRICITY SPARKING.]
[ALL GASPING.]
[SIGHS.]
[ECHOING.]
It is time.
Then we must go to the Forbidden Citadel.
[THUNDER BOOMS.]
[GROANS.]
What happened? Enchiladas! Oh, dear.
A forbidden citadel! Someone should stay to protect the orphans.
I volunteer.
Okay, have fun! We will find Sino.
This I swear.
[WIND WHISTLING, THUNDER CRASHING.]
[PUSS.]
The Forbidden Citadel.
I just know this is going to be bad.
Anything with "Forbidden" in the name is trouble.
I learned that in the Forbidden Temple.
And I really, very, really, really, very learned it again in the Forbidden Litter Box.
Ew.
So Orange was the first Tulpa, and Cleevil is the second.
Could Artephius be the third? He did kind of go into a trance back there.
I don't think I'm a Tulpa.
But sometimes I think I'm a caterpillar, so who knows? Or the third Tulpa could be at the Citadel.
Are we getting close, by the way? [WHISPERING.]
I kind of have to tinkle.
[GROANS.]
This is exactly why I told everyone to go before we left! Look! [THUNDER CRASHING.]
Exactly as I pictured it.
Terrible.
Oh, it's okay, Puss.
We can handle anything.
As long as it's not guarded by a oh, oh, ah, I don't know, a let's say a a Red Sheevrah! [DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING.]
Oh, wow, it's a [GROANS.]
You do not have to tell me what it is.
[THUNDER BOOMING.]
[THUNDER CRASHES.]
[SOFTLY.]
Li'l Pequeña was a Blue Sheevrah.
Is a Red Sheevrah something like that? Yep.
But, oh, my gosh, so much worse! Blue Sheevrahs can access your memories and change them.
Red Sheevrahs can access your memories and take on any form from them.
So this thing can turn into any enemy we have ever fought? Oh, you betcha! And it can turn into any one of us.
Anyone or anything you've ever known.
Lasagna? I don't Have you been carrying lasagna in your pocket? Well, what else are pockets for? I've also got pancakes in my shoes.
I could go for a pancake.
There is no time for pancakes! We must man up and do this.
- [DULCINEA CLEARS THROAT.]
- Sorry, or woman up.
Cat up.
Tulpa up.
Whatever.
We must up! [LIVELY MUSIC.]
Sheevrah! We seek Sino and demand entrance to the Forbidden Citadel! [THUNDER CRASHES.]
Okay.
I Uh, pardon? Fine.
Go right in.
Uh I thought this would be more challenging.
Oh, it will be.
Anyone may enter the Citadel.
Thousands have, over the centuries.
Do you know how many have reached the center? Um seven? None! I have destroyed them all, just as I will destroy you! You will never reach the center, and that is where what you seek lies.
We will reach the center, Sheevrah! I am the Guardian of the Forbidden Citadel! Enter, and be destroyed! [RED SHEEVRAH CACKLES.]
[RED SHEEVRAH.]
We are going to have some fun.
[CACKLING.]
This place seems familiar.
A bit like the Castle of the Witch Sisters, yes? They must have used the same architect.
No.
It's just [ECHOING VOICES.]
He is here.
Ah! What is it, Artephius? I sense great evil! We've got to turn back! No! We must find Sino before it is too late! - Hello, future coffin stuffers.
- [GASPS.]
Let's see.
What form will I face you in first? Let me search your memories for something big.
Ah! [GRUNTING.]
Okay.
Bad choice.
Much better.
[GRUNTING.]
Let's dance, kids! - [DULCINEA SHRIEKING.]
- Everyone, take cover! I will handle this! [BOTH GRUNTING.]
- Oh! - Go now! [BOTH YELL.]
- [GRUNTS.]
- Pigmalion! It is good to see you, even if you are trying to kill me.
[BOTH GRUNT.]
You understand that I'm not really Pigmalion, right? Oh, yes, of course.
I am a bit distracted.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[PUSS SHOUTS.]
[SCREAMING.]
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[PUSS LAUGHS.]
What kind of creature has such a ridiculous vulnerability? [GROANING.]
[PUSS GRUNTS.]
Huh? [SIGHS.]
My friends! You may come out now! Is it over? I have a feeling she will be back.
Oh, I don't like this place.
We should get out of here.
But we must find Sino and save the world! It's too dangerous.
Please, Puss, you have to take me somewhere safe.
- But I - I need you to protect me.
Get me away from here.
I'm scared! You have to help me! What about our friends? You are my big, strong hero, and you can't say no to protecting me.
Huh? Dulcinea would never say such a thing! Mm [CACKLES.]
You can't fight Dulcinea! Your feelings are too strong to - [GRUNTS.]
- [GASPS.]
Okay, wrong about that.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[GASPS.]
You're smarter than I thought.
But maybe your friends aren't.
[GROWLS.]
Huh? I must find the others.
Puss? Where are you? Puss, I didn't think to bring a sword, and now I really wish I had.
[GASPS.]
- Dulcinea! - Puss! We have to go.
[DULCINEA YELPS.]
But Cleevil and Artephius? They can take care of themselves.
Go! Okay.
Wait.
Artephius can take care of himself? Why would you say that? - He is an alchemist.
He can Huh? - [GRUNTS.]
He has pancakes in his shoes! Yes, he is confused.
I should have seen that in your mind.
But you are hard to read.
So many memories.
There is so much in there, hidden even from you.
What are you? I'm Dulcinea, and I'm about to kick your butt.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
- [GASPS.]
- [GRUNTS.]
Where did you learn to fight like that? [GRUNTING.]
I don't know! [GRUNTS.]
Where did I learn to fight like that? What is a Tulpa, anyway? It's a being magically created by a sorcerer.
- Or possibly it's some kind of pastry.
- Huh? If you want straight answers, you're asking the wrong guy.
- [DUCHESS.]
Arty! Cleevil! - [CLEEVIL.]
Huh? Oh, thank goodness I found you.
Sweetie cheese! I felt so guilty not coming with you, I couldn't stand it! Wait.
You didn't come with us? Hmm.
Arty, you're in terrible danger, and you need to, uh, turn your back for just a moment.
Okeydokey! [CHUCKLES WICKEDLY.]
[GASPS.]
[GRUNTS.]
She's the Sheevrah! Yay! No! Not yay! Very not yay! [SCREAMS AND GRUNTS.]
Ugh, I should just stick to turning into monsters.
Ooh.
Now this is a good one! Creepy! - [SPITS.]
- [BOTH YELP.]
Come on.
Go, go, go! [PANTING.]
[CHUCKLES.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
Artephius, do something! Righty-o! [MUFFLED GROANING.]
Ugh! This pancake smells like feet.
That's not the kind of something I was thinking of.
[BOTH YELP.]
Well, I-I think I have some poppies in here.
- [GASPS.]
- [SCOFFS.]
You're going to fight me with flowers? Nope! I call 'em poppies because they go pop! [EXCLAIMING.]
Run for it, kid! I got this! I'm good with that.
[PUSS GRUNTING.]
Whoa! [YELLING.]
[BREATHING SHAKILY.]
[SIGHS.]
[DOOR CREAKS.]
Hiya, Bootsy! Are you Artephius or the Sheevrah? Hmm.
Uh, can you give me a hint? Clearly, you are Artephius.
Okay, one more hint.
[DULCINEA SCREAMS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[PANTING.]
Puss? Is it really you? Yes.
But of course the Sheevrah would say that.
[CLEEVIL SCREAMS, GRUNTS.]
Guys! You okay? - [PUSS.]
Yes! - [DULCINEA.]
I think I am.
[ARTEPHIUS.]
Eh, I could eat.
[GRUNTS.]
Come, my friends.
[GRUNTS.]
[EXHALES.]
[GRUNTING.]
- [RUMBLING.]
- [GASPS.]
Dulcinea! Look out! - [DULCINEA SCREAMS.]
- [CRASHING.]
[PUSS.]
Huh? [CHUCKLES.]
You are quite flexible.
[STRAINED.]
I'm just glad these spikes aren't any closer together.
[GRUNTS.]
We must determine which door to go through.
Only two that none of us have passed through.
- There and there.
- How much you want to bet it's the one with the giant swinging mace blocking the way? That seems reasonable.
It's okay, Puss! I've been watching that thing, and I've precisely calculated the timing of its swings! You just have to jump when I tell you! [GRUNTS.]
Excellent! Get ready.
Three, two, one [GASPS.]
jump! [PANTING.]
- [ARTEPHIUS SCREAMING.]
- [CLEEVIL.]
No! - Puss! - [GASPS.]
[PUSS LAUGHS.]
How did you know it was me? [SCOFFS.]
Artephius could not calculate his own shoe size! It's 11! I had it tattooed on my ankles so I wouldn't forget it.
[BOTH STRUGGLING.]
[GASPS.]
Dulcinea! [SCREAMING.]
[ARTEPHIUS.]
I got ya, Dulcie! Who's got you? Oh [STRAINING.]
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[GASPS.]
[ALL SCREAMING.]
[ALL GRUNT.]
[CLEEVIL.]
Huh? [BOTH STRUGGLING.]
[PUSS.]
Quickly! To the door! [DULCINEA GRUNTS.]
[CLEEVIL GRUNTS.]
- Come on, Artephius! - [GRUNTS.]
[YELLS.]
[PANTING.]
[DOOR RATTLES.]
It's locked! [PUSS.]
Then duck! [GRUNTS.]
[ALL YELLING.]
No! [ECHOING.]
[STONE SCRAPING.]
[ALL STRAINING.]
Puss? Puss! [PUSS GRUNTING AND PANTING.]
I am all right.
[SHIMMERING TONE.]
Huh? [GASPING.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC.]
[CHAINS RATTLING.]
[WHIMPERING.]
[GROWLS.]
[ARTEPHIUS SCREAMS.]
[SIGHS.]
Oh! Oh, oh, thank goodness you've come! I've been a prisoner here for I don't know how long.
Please free me! I can't take it anymore! Please! Uh, I am sorry, but you look really, very, really much like you might be our friend Artephius' evil twin.
[MAN.]
Evil? Is it evil to want to change the world for the better? Is it evil to impose order? To bring about peace at all costs? To bend the world to my iron will? Is this evil? [LAUGHING MANIACALLY.]
All right, then.
Thoughts? Well, obviously we can't free him.
You must free me! You will free me, or I will make you pay! Oh, don't free him, Puss! Don't do it! He's evil, can't you see? No! Can't you see? - No! - See? No! See no.
See.
No.
Can it be? They are like two halves of a single whole! - [MANIACAL LAUGHTER.]
- [ARTEPHIUS WHIMPERING.]
I must free him.
- [GASPS.]
- That's nuts! Yes! Yes.
Do it! Puss! No! Don't do it, Puss! [DRAMATIC CHORAL MUSIC.]
Yes! [LOCK CLICKS.]
[MANIACAL LAUGHTER.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Thank you, Cat! - [GRUNTS.]
- [PUSS SCREAMS AND GRUNTS.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
[SCREAMS.]
At last, I am free to fix this muddled mess of a world! To impose reason and order on the foolish mass of humanity! I will correct all those who do not conform! This world will be mine! [MANIACAL LAUGHTER.]
I think not.
[GRUNTS.]
- Ha! - [GRUNTS.]
You think you can stop me? - One little cat? - [GRUNTS.]
- [YELLS.]
- [PUSS GRUNTS.]
Maybe two cats! - [CLEEVIL GRUNTS.]
- [YELLS.]
Huh? And a Tulpa! Where did you get that ball? No idea.
[GRUNTING.]
[ALL GRUNTING.]
- [PUSS YELLS.]
- [GROANS.]
[PUSS GRUNTS.]
- [IMPACT THUD.]
- [YELLS.]
[PUSS GRUNTS.]
[ALL SCREAMING, GRUNTING.]
[CACKLING.]
[GASPS.]
You will be the first to fall, Cat.
[CHOKING.]
The first of many.
I will turn this world into a paradise of conformity, with myself as its unquestioned master! Artephius! Go to him! I can't.
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY.]
[COUGHING AND CHOKING.]
Artephius! - [PUSS CHOKING.]
- [LAUGHING.]
[GAGGING, COUGHS.]
[GASPS.]
[CHOKING.]
[PUSS GRUNTS.]
[GASPING.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC.]
[GASPS.]
[GROANS.]
[CLEEVIL.]
Artephius! Now it is time! It is time.
Stay back! Stay back! [GRUNTS.]
Artephius! No! I-I won't go back! - We cannot be one again! - [SHOUTS.]
- No! - [GROANING.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC.]
It is time.
[DRAMATIC CHORAL MUSIC.]
[SHIMMERING TONE.]
Si Sino? Yes.
[FAST, LIVELY FLAMENCO MUSIC PLAYING.]