The Adventures of Tintin (1991) s02e05 Episode Script

Tintin and the Picaros

TlNTlN AND THE PlCAROS Ahoy, Tintin! Same to you, old boy! Hello, Captaine! Nothing like a ride in fresh country air! You mean fresh cold air! Come and warm up, landlubber! Ah! That's better! Hm! The news should be on.
Blistering barnacles! The famous singer, Bianca Castafiore has arrived in San Theodorus.
She's to give a command performance for General Tapioca tonight! With her will be two highly trained detectives assigned to watch over her jewellry insured for 2 million dollars! Hello! Who? Who? Yes, Jolyon Wagg.
Now look here, l just saw Bianca on the tele! You should have sent her to me for insurance! What!? And while l've got you, Captain What about the policy on your estate? l can give you a terrific deal! That's what l say! Astrogoth! First Bianca Castafiore, then Jolyon Wagg! What a weekend! The 8 o'clock news! Bianca Castafiore Was arrested last night.
She is accused of plotting against General Tapioca! Tintin, Tintin! Tapioca's arrested Castafiore.
You joking?! No, l'm not! The radio said she was plotting against him! Castafiroe plotting! That's absolutely ridiculous! lt must be a misunderstanding.
- Tintin? - Huh! That dictator Tapioca has arrested Castafiore! ''Documents detailing the plot were found in Madame Castafiore's luggage.
'' ''The documents name Tintin, Captain Haddock and Prof Calculus as co-conspirators.
'' Simply terrible! ''General Tapioca has ordered a full investigation.
'' What a load of bilge! We'd better set Tapioca straight! Let's send him a telegram denying the charges! Tremble you cowards squalking in your dusty mansions! Puppet masters in this vile conspiracy! Tremble crooked Captain Haddock! Tremble yourself! You dictatorial duck-billed diplodgas! l have just received this! A telegram from Tintin denying the charges! Well, l am a responsible man! This may be an innocent misunderstanding.
That is why l invite Tintin and his friends to Tapiocapolis to clear this up! l personally guarantee them safe passage for a fair and frank exchange of views.
My only aim is to seek out the truth! That's good enough for me! Could be a trick.
But he offered us safe passage! Promises are cheap! Weep? Madame is weeping? Oh, dear! We must go to Tapiocapolis.
No, Professor.
Maybe Tintin is right! Well spoken, Captain!.
l'll pack right away! Professor! Still worried about the trip? l just don't like it, Captain.
Nothing's going to happen.
lt says here that Tapioca got into power by toppling the last ruler in a military coup.
That was my friend, General Alcazar.
Really! Where is he now? Last l heard he was hiding in the jungle trying to organize the resistance.
Oh, listen to this! ''ln the last year, Tapiocapolis ''has come under attack by terrorists called the Picaros.
''Tourists are advised to be careful.
'' Those must be Alcazar's men! Oh, that's okay then! l was getting worried.
Commodore Haddock.
Welcome to Tapiocapolis.
Er, it's just Captain.
Such modesty! - Senor Tintin? - Yes.
General Tapioca has been detained.
l am Colonel Alvarez, his aide-de-camp.
How do you do! Ah! And you must be Professor Calculus! lt's a pleasure to meet you, senor Professor! Sorry! l can't shake hands with someone who disregards human right! Take no notice! He was making - a little joke.
- Of course! lf you follow me, l will take you to your accomodation.
How is Madame Castafiore? She is very well! Can we see her? l'm sorry but l'm afraid that is not possible.
And how about Madame Castafiore? Senor?! Don't tell me you've forgotten about her? No senor! lt is not possible to forget Madame Castafiore! Carnaval? lt is a very big affair.
Performers from all over the world! Hmm! Sounds like fun.
Si, senor commodore.
Where are you taking us? l thought we were staying in the city? The city gets noisy during Carnaval.
So the General made arrangements to find you accomodation in the country.
You've got us well guarded! A precaution against terrorists.
Nothing to be alarmed about.
l trust this accomodation will be to your liking.
They're fine.
Manolo! Manolo will look after you.
Just call and he will come! l will leave you now.
Please make yourselves comfortable.
He looks like a thug.
Maybe we misjudged Tapioca.
This place seems comfortable.
- Remember your orders, Manolo! - Si, senor! You will watch them most carefully! Si, claro, senor colonel.
They suspect nothing, Colonel! Good! My plan is working.
You were right! Tintin could not resist coming to Tapiocapolis to check the false papers we planted on Madame Castafiore.
lnterference comes naturally to him.
He ruined one of my most important operations in Borduria because he can not mind his own business.
However, this time he will regret it! What a beautiful night! l think l'll open these doors.
Must be stuck! Confounded thing! Confounded thing! ls senor okay? Senor will be fine if you put away that blunderbus! Heu si.
But why won't the windows open? They are sealed for air conditioning! To keep the cold air in! Well turn off the canned air and let's get some fresh air.
Sorry! Windows they do not open! Buenas noces, senor.
Thanks, friend! You really try too hard! l better clean up.
You do that! There's a good chap! Now where did l put my tobacco? H,, senor! Senor, where you going? Get some tobacco.
No, senor.
Too late! All stores closed! So l'll just take a walk instead.
No, senor.
Not allowed! Not allowed! ls no good for security.
The Picaros might attack.
l must insist.
lnsist, huh? Okay! Goodnight! You were right, Tintin.
You want to hear some music? Music? No, l don't want music! l tell you we're prisoners! Are you mad?! Turn it off! Look! A microphone.
You mean they can hear us? Not only that They're watching us as well.
Tintin has found us out, Colonel Sponsz.
He's no fool.
Never mind! He is only a few short hours from death! Goodbye, Tintin! We've got to get out of here! Maybe we can escape when we see Tapioca.
lf we're allowed to meet him! Come in.
Lunch, senores.
Manolo had a minor accident.
l am his replacement.
Do you mind? l love this music! Not at all.
Ah, lunch! l'm starved! Not that ''boujabais''! Again! You are in great danger, senors! Tomorrow an attack by the Picaros will be faked.
Thank you! ln the course of the fighting you will be killed.
Killed? An unfortunate accident.
Why does General Tapioca want to kill us? lt's not the General it's Colonel Sponsz.
Sponsz? The Chief of police in Shoho? That's the one.
He's been assigned to re-organize the Generals's security police.
General Alcazar says do not worry! No thanks! General Alcazar? l work for him.
No thank you! Oh, l can't believe it! What? Just a bird at the window! A beautiful one! What's Alcazar's plan? Tomoorow we go to the pyramid of Hotuatabouti.
lt's not far.
You will ask the soldiers if you can climb to the top.
When we are safely out of the way General Alcazar.
That tastes horrible! Pardon me, senor.
As l was saying, once we're out of the way a Picaro attack will be mounted.
The wine is excellent, senor! Balderdash! lt worked! So the Picaros will attack then what, Pablo? You will tie me up and escape in the confusion.
The General will be waiting in the jungle.
Hey, Pablo Thanks! lt's nothing, senor.
Your friend seems preoccupied! You've noticed! lt's because we haven't met the General yet.
Oh, l forgot! The General sends his apologies.
He will meet you tomorrow.
Oh, really! Great! Why are we stopping? What about the pyramid? A slight change of plan! What you mean, a change? We want to go to the pyramid! We will go shortly! But first, we get your tobacco! Oh of course! lt's magnificent! l will take you up.
Lead the way! Senors? Be careful! The steps are steep! We'll be careful.
C'mon Professor! Come along, Professor! No thanks! l have a fear of heights! - Don't be silly! - Great sunspots, Captain! Leave me alone! l don't want to! You don't want to miss the view! For goodness sake! Really! Captain, let me go! That took longer than l thought.
We must hurry! Tie me up! Your conduct is unqualifiable! Unqualifiable, that's what! We made it! Goodness! What's happening? The Picaros! Take the Professor and find Alcazar! - We'll catch up with you! - Got! l demand to.
Thanks, Pablo! - l'll never forget.
- Quick, senor! You can thank me later.
C'mon, Professor! Leave me! Follow us! Come along! lnto the truck! Quick! You go with the driver! General Alcazar! Hop in, amigo.
The trap is sprung.
Good work, Pablo! lt was quite easy! Puma to Jaguar! Come in! Receiving you! Alcazar's truck is on its way.
lt should be there in 7 minutes.
Don't miss it! Do not worry, Puma! l cannot miss! Over and out!.
You see, the General is true to his friends.
- As soon as l got your message.
- Our message! But Pablo brought us your message! What message? What are you saying? Target approaching! Pablo is one of my most loyal men! Then why did he lie to us both? Load! No! Pablo would not betray me! Would you stake your life on that? Hey! There's something on the road! Here, take a look! Thanks! lt's just a monkey.
Aim! Wait! Something frightened him! Stop! Are you crazy?! Stop! Fools! You missed! Reload! Captain! Calculus! Let's get out of here! Professor! l suggest whoever was driving takes a few lessons! C'mon! Really! l can walk! Fire! Check the wreckage! Oh, my! - Quick! No one could survive that! Jaguar to Puma! Jaguar to Puma! Go ahead, Puma! Mission accomplished, sir! Received! Excellent! Colonel Sponsz will be pleased.
You have done well, Pablo! l can't believe Pablo! That renegade! Double crosser! Turncoat swine! Actually, he really did do us a favour.
Huh!? Now Colonel Sponsz thinks we're dead.
So we can come up with a plan to rescue Bianca and and the Thomsons.
You're forgetting we're stuck in the jungle.
Not for long.
Alcazar said we should reach his camp soon.
That should be a treat! Hey, amigos! l've been thinking! You want to join the Picaros? That's all we need! We've been plotters, ambush victims, terrorists, whatever next?! What are you laughing at? Frankly, Captain, l didn't understand why we came down the pyramid so quickly Since you forced me to climb up there! Oh, give me strength! How many Picaros are there? - 30 or so.
- 30! ls that enough to overthrow Tapioca? With me as their leader 30 Picaros can do anything! We plan to sneak into the capital during the carnival and free your friends.
Captain! Are you okay? Anchors away! How did they get those bottles? Tapioca drops them into the jungle.
He knows the Picaros will drink them so they'll be unable to fight.
The Bandito river will lead us to the Picaro camp.
Take cover! lf it's one of Tapioca's lets hope they didn't see us! Captain! What's that? A Picaro by the river? Where'd he go? Carumba! He disappeared! Captain! Blue blistering barnacles! Hang on! Captain! How did l get here?! Gunshots coming from the camp! Uh oh! Seems the bottles got here first! El General! Come join the party! You've got some nerve! Sneaking out of the camp without telling me! lf you think you can run off any time you like you've got another thing coming! Understood! Yes, my dove.
And who are these guys? These are my friends - Tintin Captain Haddock and Professor Calculus.
My dear lady! Your lovely welcome has moved me deeply! lt shall be a pleasure to share your company as we prepare for war! Oh! Well! They can stay in the tool hut! She may seem a little harsh but she has a heart of gold.
Alcazar! What a charming woman! Such grace and beauty! As for her husband - his revolution won't succeed with those drunken soldiers! l know.
There goes the chance to save the Thomsons and Madame Castafiore.
Luckily, l've been doing herbal experiments in jungle apothecary! - Jungle apoth-a-what? - Not at all! l've developed a thing that'll stop those men drinking! Anyone taking one pill will find alcohol unbearable.
The first person l tested it on was you, Captain! Me! You miserable, barbequed, blundering! - My sister's not involved! - lt's a scandal! Hm! Pills? The Picaros will probably resist it.
My sister! l asked you to leave her out of this! No, Professor! The Picaros will resist taking these pills.
Unless we sneak them into their food! lt's worth a try! Huh? l'll tell you something l never had a sister.
You hear? General!? l can stop the Picaros from drinking! But promise a peaceful revolution.
No executions! You're mad! A revolution without executions! l'd be a laughing stock! Surely we can make another deal? One 5th of the gold reserves in El Banco National? l'm not interested in money.
l want a peaceful revolution! Forget it! l'll get the Picaros under control myself! Grenade! Tintin! l have changed my mind! l accept your conditions! Now, my friends, watch the justice of General Tapioca! TV coverage! Even in a remote jungle camp! Your honour! Before you sit two evil, brutal men.
So cunning are these would-be assassins that they have grown moustaches to better fit in and gain our trust.
We object! We were born with moustaches! Silence! l find you guilty! Death! lt's not fair! l told you, amigo.
Bianca Castafiore, you will spend the rest of your life in prison! You are making a joke, non? A silly joke by a silly soldier! No! No joke! Here is proof! You make me laugh! Hang the traitor! What's going on? This spy! l caught him dropping pills into the chili! He was trying to poison us! Ah, General? lt's okay, amigos! They were only vitimins! l don't trust this food.
The dog must try it! Come! Doggy woggy! Ummm! Good stuff! Eat it! Amigos! Who wants to eat this stuff! Back! Snowy! Eat! Eat! You see! Totally safe! l say! How far to Tapiocapolis? We aren't sure! Bless my buttons! lt's Tintin and the Captain! Jolyon Wagg!? You've got it, old friend! Me and my troupe, the Jolly Follies, have been invited to the big carnival.
l designed those costumes myself.
Nice, don't you think? - Hm they're very interesting.
- What's going on, amigo?! - Ah, the chap in charge! Mind if my gang spends the night in your camp? - Forget it! Perhaps l spoke a little hastily, my friends! You may stay here as long as you like.
Morning, Professor! Sleep well? Alcazar! Where is that lazy?! ''Peggy, my dove! ''At dawn we left to overthrow the tyrant Tapioca.
''Love, Alcazar.
P.
S.
Due to the revolution l will not be home to cook dinner.
'' Alcazar! l feel bad, sneaking off with Wagg's bus.
What's more imporant? Some silly tourists or winning the revolution and saving your friends from the firing squad? lf you put it that way.
But will we make it in time? Another hour and we will be there in time for part two of your plan.
Long live the revolution! A carnival and an execution on the same day! lsn't life grand, Colonel Alvarez? - lt is.
Specially with you as our leader! Look at those people! All of them love me! ls it safe on this balcony? What if some treacherous Picaros are in town? The Picaros? Nonsense! Colonel Sponsz has taken care of them.
Not so? Don't worry.
The Picaros are no concern.
They are too drunk to be of danger.
You see, Colonel! You worry too much! And what's this? Remember your promise! No bloodshed! Si, l remember.
Ready with the chloroform? Ready! Hey non-ny noo-oo! Hey non-ny noo-oo! They are hilarious! l'd like to meet a few of them! The show's over, Tapioca! ls this a joke? Si.
The biggest joke ever! Alcazar! That's General Alcazar to you! Captain, look who's at the window! Colonel Sponsz! We meet again! Tintin! So you're behind this, Sponsz! Nonsense! The Bordurian Government sent me as an official to advise General Tapioca's military.
He's lying! Be quiet! No! Speak, Alvarez! He wanted revenge because you humiliated him in his homeland.
So he planted false papers on Madame Castafiore and had her arrested.
Nice try, Sponsz.
Read it! Read it! No! l said read it! ''Citizens of San Theodoros! ''Rejoice! ''l General Tapioca ''surrender all my power ''to General Alcazar.
'' Get this tape to the radio! Have them play it at once! And as for your execution, Tapioca! Ah, General? Si.
There will be no execution.
No execution?! Are you crazy?! lt's not my idea! lt's his! Senor! He must execute me! Tradition demands it! Sorry.
You'll be exiled to Borduria with your pal, Sponsz.
Exiled? You can't! The shame! The humiliation! Alavarez! Unless you wish to join Sponsz you better stop the Thomsons' execution! Yes, Sir! The phone is dead! The Picaros cut the lines! We must get to the prison fast! Take Tintin and the Captain to the prison! Si, el General! Hurry! We have 5 minutes to stop the firing squad! l'm sorry, but it's time.
We must go.
Right then! One must be on time! Precisely, Thomson! Citizens of San Theodoros! Rejoice! l, General Tapioca, surrender all my powers.
lf only we had a car! A car wouldn't make it! But that big float will! To the prison quickly! Clear the road! Look out! Coming through! A final cigarette? Bad for our health! Blindfolds? A Thomson likes to look death in the eye.
Squad! Ready! Well, Thomson! Any last words? How about - Goodbye! Aim! Hold your fire! Hands up! By order of his excellency, General Alcazar, this execution is cancelled! We couldn't get here sooner! Quite alright, Tintin.
We're policemen! All in the line of duty! Now, what about Madame Castafiore? You fool! Tell that chef of yours l said endante! Mama mia! My rescuing prince! l knew you'd come to save me! Oh, my dear lrma! Mr Wagner! What a pleasure to see you all! l must sing something! As President, l award you the Sacred Order of San Theodoro! Glad to have been of service! Right! A big hooray for the General! Hooray! l am touched.
Now please go and enjoy the carnival! As for you, Professor! Without your pills the revolution would never have been launched! - Beans for lunch! Oh, no thank you! What about you, Tintin? Please accept a reward! Freeing my friends was reward enough! Thanks for keeping your promise! The revolution is a success! The airforce and navy have rejoined us! Alcazar! You've got some nerve! Leaving me in the stinking jungle while you laze about in this palace! Bring my bags upstairs! - And get dinner started! - Yes, my dove.
Ah! lt'll be nice to get back home to Marlinspike! You said it, Captain.