The Amazing World of Gumball (2011) s04e11 Episode Script

The Origins (2); The Girlfriend

[ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS .]
[ GRUNTING .]
[ GRUNTING CONTINUES .]
[ TIMER TICKING .]
[ BELL DINGS .]
[ GRUNTING .]
OH, IS PENNY COMING OVER? NO.
ARAN.
-WHAT? -ARAN.
WHAT? ALAN.
OH, BECAUSE YOU FEEL BAD FOR CONSTANTLY BEING ANGRY AT HIM FOR NO VALID REASON, LIKE WHEN WE DID SECRET SANTA.
COME ON.
IT WASN'T THAT BAD.
THE BEST DAY OF THE YEAR GOSH DARN IT, MAN! -YOU DON'T LIKE IT? -I LOVE IT! IT'S THOUGHTFUL, EXPENSIVE, AND IT MAKES MY PRESENT LOOK LIKE SOMETHING A RAT WOULD BARF! IT WAS A PAIR OF FINGERLESS GLOVES BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE FINGERS.
BUT I JUST REALIZED YOU DON'T HAVE HANDS, EITHER! AND, YES, THAT MAKES ME FEEL EVEN WORSE! NAH, IT REALLY WASN'T THAT BAD.
DUDE, WHEN HE APOLOGIZED FOR MAKING YOU FEEL BAD, YOU ROUNDHOUSE KICKED HIM.
AND WHEN HE KINDLY SAID NOT TO WORRY ABOUT IT BECAUSE HIS FATHER IS A SURGEON SO HE WOULDN'T GET A SCAR, YOU JUST -- [ SCREAMING .]
FINE, IT WAS QUITE BAD.
BUT I'M NOT ANGRY AT HIM, I'M ANGRY AT MYSELF.
OKAY, I'M ALSO KIND OF ANGRY AT HIM FOR MAKING FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF.
EITHER WAY, I'M GONNA STUFF THIS PERFECT MEAL INTO HIS PERFECT FACE! YOU KNOW, AS AN APOLOGY.
[ TELEPHONE RINGS .]
HELLO? OH, OKAY, NO PROBLEM.
ALAN'S NOT COMING 'CAUSE HIS MOTHER WAS SICK I REALLY SHOULDN'T DANCE 'CAUSE IT'S SOUNDED QUITE SERIOUS.
MAYBE ALAN'S NOT COMING BECAUSE HE'S HAVING TOO MUCH FUN SOMEWHERE ELSE.
NO, AS I SAID, HIS MOM IS SICK AND ALAN'S NOT -- "READY FOR AN AWESOME DAY OUT.
" OH, THAT COULD HAVE BEEN TAKEN WEEKS AGO.
UUUUGH! GAH! YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE THE GUY.
WHY DO YOU CARE? BECAUSE HE LIED ABOUT HIS MOM TO GET OUT OF OUR DINNER! HE'S A TRAITOR! [ CHIMES .]
"AT JOYFUL BURGER"?! [ GASPS .]
ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING? THAT YOU'RE GONNA CATCH HIM RED-HANDED.
I WAS THINKING LUNCH, BUT THAT'S A MUCH BETTER IDEA! OH, WE'RE TOO LATE.
THE SUSPECTS FLED.
BUT WHERE TO? EXCUSE ME, LARRY.
HAVE YOU SEEN A ROUND GUY THAT'S BLUE? HE'S THIS HIGH OR SOMETIMES THIS HIGH.
OR THIS HIGH.
EH, KIND OF DEPENDS ON THE TEMPERATURE.
MM-MN.
[ GASPS .]
EVIDENCE! GET AWAY FROM MY CRIME SCENE! HMM.
YOU CAN TELL FROM THIS SPLATTER OF KETCHUP THAT THESE FRIES WERE EATEN IN A HURRY.
BUT WHAT'S THIS? [ GASPS .]
WHAT? ENHANCE IMAGE.
ENHANCE IMAGE! [ SIGHS .]
SO, WHAT IS IT? LET'S JUST SAY IT'S NOT RANCH DRESSING.
LOOKS LIKE THE FEELINGS OF GUILT GOT TOO MUCH FOR ALAN'S WEAK STOMACH.
All: EW! SO HE WENT FOR THE LIGHT SALAD DRESSING INSTEAD.
OH.
YOU SERIOUSLY THOUGHT I WOULD -- WHAT?! GROSS! OKAY, SO WHERE DID THEY GO IN SUCH A HURRY? FREEZE! ENHANCE IMAGE.
ZOOM IN ON THE EYE.
[ GASPS .]
LOOK, IN THE REFLECTION.
THEY'RE GOING INTO THE MOVIE THEATER! HOW DID YOU GUESS? DUDE, I WAS LOOKING AT THEM.
OH.
HA.
LOOKS LIKE THIS BALLOON UM, THIS BUBBLE THIS, UM THIS BALLOON'S BUBBLE IS GOING TO BURST.
[ GROANS .]
UH, NEARLY THERE.
SOMETHING HOT AIR.
FULL OF AIR! LOOKS LIKE THIS BALLOON'S COVER IS BLOWN.
[ SIGHS .]
YEAH [ SLURPS .]
AND THEN HE SAYS, "PLEASE FORGIVE ME!" AND I SAY, "I'M SORRY, FORGIVENESS ISN'T ON THE MENU.
BUT THE CHEF RECOMMENDS THE SWEET VENGEANCE!" AND THAT'S WHEN YOU THROW THE MAPLE SYRUP.
AND THEN I SAY, "DON'T WORRY, THE TOPPING IS MUCH LIGHTER.
" AND THEN YOU THROW THE FEATHERS.
ISN'T THAT A LITTLE OVER-THE-TOP? I DIDN'T SPEND AN HOUR PLUCKING CHICKENS FOR YOU TO WUSS OUT.
[ SIGHS .]
[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS .]
Man: IT'S COMING BACK! Woman: I'M STUCK! IT'S RIGHT BEHIND US! GET READY FOR JUSTICE, YOU LYING, BLOATED, EMPTY, KNOTTED RUBBER SACK OF GAS.
[ GRUNTS .]
Child: MAMA! OH, WAIT, WHAT?! Woman: MY CHILD! DARWIN, DO SOMETHING! [ CHILD SCREAMS .]
[ AUDIENCE GASPS .]
OKAY, GUYS, WHEN I EXPLAIN EVERYTHING, YOU'LL REALIZE THAT I AM THE TRUE VICTIM HERE, OKAY? WAIT, WAIT, NO! I'LL DO IT MYSELF! THANKS.
MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST GIVE UP.
ARE YOU KIDDING? HE'S MANIPULATED AND TRICKED US WITH NO RESPECT FOR OUR FEELINGS.
ALL THIS TO SETTLE A SCORE WITH ME BECAUSE HE'S JEALOUS OF SOMEONE ELSE BEING SO COMFORTABLE IN THEIR OWN SKIN.
THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE ALAN.
IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU.
THERE THEY ARE! QUICK, GIVE ME A QUARTER! WHY? IF I CAN PIERCE THEIR GAS TANK, IT WILL LEAVE A TRAIL THAT WILL LEAD RIGHT TO THEM.
ALL I HAVE TO DO IS THROW THE COIN SO IT BOUNCES OFF THE LAMP POST, THEN DEFLECTS OFF THE GROUND AND INTO THE TANK -- OH, THEY'VE JUST STOPPED AT THE PARK.
OH, NO, THEY'VE ALREADY LEFT.
HMM.
SO WHERE DID THEY GO? I DON'T KNOW.
THOSE GUYS FLOAT, THE DON'T LEAVE TRACKS.
THEN WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? EH, IT'S JUST A BIT OF BREAD.
SO THEY MUST HAVE COME HERE TO FEED THE DUCKS.
SO ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS INTERROGATE THE DUCKS TO KNOW WHERE ALAN WENT NEXT.
YOU CAN SPEAK ANIMAL.
[ DUCKS QUACKING .]
MM-HMM.
HMM.
SO, WHAT ARE THEY SAYING? BREAD, BREAD, BREAD.
BREAD, BREAD, BREAD, BREAD.
BREAD, BREAD, BREAD.
[ DUCK QUACKS .]
WAIT, HOLD ON.
[ QUACKS .]
NO, HE SAID, "BREAD.
" [ DOG BARKING .]
[ GROWLS .]
[ GRUNTS .]
WHAT?! UH, HEY, I DON'T KNOW, I JUST EXPECTED YOU TO -- [ ELEVATOR DINGS .]
OOF! NOOO!! WE'VE LOST THEM! WAIT, THE STAIRS! OH, YEAH.
[ BOOM .]
YOU GOT BUSTED! [ BOOM .]
YOU GOT BUSTED! YOU BOT GUSTED! Oh, dagnabbit, I messed it up.
WHAT? EVERYONE THINKS YOU'RE SO PERFECT, SO I INVITED YOU OVER TO MAKE UP FOR THE WAY I TREATED YOU, BUT TO AVOID HANGING OUT WITH ME, YOU LIED ABOUT YOUR MOTHER BEING IIIILL.
BUT MY MOM IS ILL.
OR MAYBE SHE'S JUST EXHAUSTED FROM ALL THE FUN SHE'S BEEN HAVING TODAY.
STOP PRETENDING! [ POP .]
HEY! THAT WAS MY UNCLE PHIL! ALAN, WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON HERE? THE REASON WE'RE HERE IS BECAUSE MY MOM IS HAVING A FLATULUM TRANSPLANT TODAY.
WHAT'S THAT? THE FLATULUM IS AN ORGAN ONLY BALLOONS POSSESS.
WE EACH HAVE TWO.
THEY REGULATE THE AIR FLOW THROUGH OUR BALLOON KNOTS.
SHE COULDN'T FIND A COMPATIBLE DONOR, SO I DECIDED TO GIVE HER ONE OF MINE.
[ BOTH INHALE SHARPLY .]
SHE'S SCARED OF THE HOSPITAL, SO MY DAD AND I WANTED TO GIVE HER THE BEST DAY POSSIBLE BEFORE HER OPERATION.
WE TOOK HER TO JOYFUL BURGER BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE SHE MET MY DAD.
[ BOTH INHALE SHARPLY .]
THEN WE TOOK HER TO THE CINEMA, BECAUSE SHE USED TO DREAM OF BEING AN ACTRESS BEFORE SHE DECIDED TO DEVOTE HER LIFE TO CHARITY.
THEN WE TOOK HER TO THE PARK, BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE SHE USED TO TAKE ME AS A CHILD.
[ CHUCKLES SOFTLY .]
HAPPIER TIMES.
I'M SORRY I BAILED ON OUR MEAL, GUMBALL, BUT SHE NEEDED ME.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WE'RE DIGGING A HOLE SO WE CAN WALLOW ON OUR SHAME.
BEFORE YOU DO, CAN I ASK FOR SOME HELP? Both: YES! ANYTHING! YOU SEE, MY DAD'S A SURGEON AND WAS DUE TO PERFORM THE OPERATION, BUT YOU KNOCKED HIM OUT WHEN YOU BURST THROUGH THAT DOOR.
[ MOANS .]
IT WOULD BE REALLY HELPFUL IF -- SAY NO MORE, MY FRIEND! WE'LL PERFORM THE OPERATION, AND WE'LL SAVE YOUR MOTHER! NO, I MEANT, YOU COULD JUST GO DOWN THE CORRIDOR AND FIND ANOTHER SURGEON THAT WOULD -- [ MUFFLED TALKING .]
SERIOUSLY! THERE'S MEDICALLY QUALIFIED PROFESSIONALS ALL OV -- Both: SHH! IT'S OKAY.
WE'VE GOT THIS.
AAH!! [ CHUCKLES .]
SORRY, UNCLE PHIL.
[ EXHALES DEEPLY .]
OKAYFLATULUM TRANSPLANT.
ANY IDEAS? TRY THIS -- "ELMORE BIOLOGY.
" AH, BALLOONS.
THERE! FLATULUM TRANSPLANT.
OKAY.
OHH, NOT OKAY.
LOOK TO YOUR LEFT.
THERE SHOULD BE A GLAND.
MM, NO.
OKAY LOOK TO YOUR RIGHT.
NNNOPE.
WHAT CAN YOU SEE? NOTHING.
THIS GUY'S FULL OF AIR.
LET ME LOOK.
[ CREAK .]
[ Echoing .]
OH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
ALL HIS ORGANS ARE MADE OF AIR.
JUST GRAB ANYTHING, IT WILL PROBABLY BE THE FLATULUM.
[ CREAKING .]
[ PONG! .]
[ HEART BEATING .]
UHHHHHNO.
[ PONG, CREAKING! .]
IT'S ALL INVISIBLE! HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO THIS OPERA-- [ PONG, DEFLATING! .]
AAH! HE'S GUSHING AIR EVERYWHERE! [ BOTH SCREAMING .]
[ MONITOR FLATLINING .]
HERE, GRAB THE FLATULUM! DONE! [ SPLAT! .]
AAH! QUICK! WE'RE LOSING HIM! GIVE HIM C.
P.
R.
! [ FARTING NOISES! .]
IT'S NOT WORKING! THEN TRY SOMETHING ELSE! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?! I THINK THE ANESTHETIC'S WORN OFF.
HOW CAN YOU TELL? MY INSIDES ARE POURING OUT!! WHAT DO WE DO?! WHAT DO WE DO?! AAH!! AAH!! [ PONG!, SCREAMING STOPS .]
OKAY, NOW LOOK FOR HIS FLATULUM.
[ SQUISH! .]
AAH! FOUND IT.
THEN SCRAP IT OFF YOUR SHOE AND PREPARE FOR SURGERY! [ MONITOR BEEPING .]
SCALPEL.
FORCEPS.
MAYONNAISE.
THERE YOU GO.
[ CHOMP! .]
MMM! THAT'S REALLY GOOD.
UH, WHA-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HAVING LUNCH.
THE OPERATION WAS A COMPLETE SUCCESS.
Dude, weren't you wearing a watch? GUYS, PLEASE -- HOW IS MY MOM? ASK HER YOURSELF.
[ GASPS .]
MOM! THANK YOU, GUMBALL, FOR SAVING MY MOTHER.
EH.
[ Farting .]
YES, THANK YOU.
WHAT THE?! IS SHE TALKING OUT OF HER BACKSIDE NOW? OH, NOTHING'S EVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, IS IT, MR.
PERFECT?! SINCE WHEN DID YOU HAVE A SURGEON'S LICENSE?! OH, BUT PLEASE, JUDGE AWAY.
LOOKING DOWN FROM YOUR HIGH HORSE, MAKING EVERYONE FEEL LIKE -- [ LAUGHTER .]
[ STUDENTS GASP .]
IT'S LUNCHTIME.
THAT'S NOT WHAT I ASKED FOR.
[ SIGHS .]
[ CHOMP! .]
[ GROANS .]
NOT IN THE MOOD FOR BANANA.
POTATO, PLEASE, CAN HAVE.
UGH.
[ GASPS .]
AAH! [ SMACK! CLANG! .]
OH, SORRY.
YOU DON'T LIKE THE CRUSTS, DO YOU? AAH! NOT IN THE MOOD FOR SANDWICH.
YOU EAT IT.
[ GAGGING .]
[ SLURPING .]
MMM.
PERFECT! TRY SOME.
MOVE.
My lunch.
HERE, CARMEN.
YOU CAN HAVE MINE.
WAIT.
ARE YOU SHARING WITH HER? OF COURSE.
THERE'S NO GREATER HAPPINESS THAN SHARING WITH YOUR SWEETHEART.
I DON'T GET IT.
THEN MAYBE IT'S NOT JUST YOUR STOMACH THAT'S EMPTY.
ARE YOU SAYING I'VE GOT AN EMPTY HEAD?! [ High-pitched voice .]
NO! I MEANT YOUR HEART! YOUR HEART! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, MY HEART? [ MUFFLED SPEAKING .]
[ PANTING .]
I MEAN, MAYBE YOU'D FEEL BETTER IF YOU FOUND SOMEONE TO SHARE THINGS WITH.
[ BREATHES DEEPLY .]
Well played.
You made her think.
That buys us some time to escape.
[ GASPS .]
THAT WAS WAY MORE TIME THAN WE NEEDED.
I NEED A SWEETHEART.
[ SCREAMING .]
[ FIRE CRACKLING .]
Gumball: DUDE, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST RUN? I THOUGHT SHE SAID, "I NEED TO SWEAT HARD.
" LIKE AT THE GYM OR SOMETHING.
BUT WHY DID YOU SAY NOTHING WHEN SHE ASKED YOU OUT? BECAUSE, WHEN A GORILLA CHARGES YOU, YOU STAY STILL AND SAY NOTHING.
I SAW IT ON TV.
DUDE, SHE'S NOT A GORILLA.
WHAT IS SHE, THEN? SHE'S YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND.
[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS .]
YOU GET THAT "DUN-DUN-DA!" IT'S USUALLY NOT A GOOD SIGN.
[ SIGHS .]
IT'S OKAY.
I'LL JUST RIDE OUT THE STORM AND SAY NOTHING.
[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS .]
Gumball: TRUST ME, MAN -- YOU NEED TO RUB YOURSELF WITH GARLIC.
SHE'S NOT A VAMPIRE.
YEAH, BUT IT WOULD STILL KEEP MOST PEOPLE AWAY.
UHH! OKAY, RULE ONE -- IF YOU IGNORE ME OR BREAK UP WITH ME, THERE WILL BE SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES INVOLVING YOU, ME, A SPOON, AND A SALTSHAKER.
[ SHUDDERS .]
OH, BY THE WAY, I GOT YOU A PRESENT TO CELEBRATE OUR LOVE.
[ THUNK! .]
MY PRESENT TO YOU IS A PRESENT FOR ME.
I'VE GIVEN YOU THE GIFT OF GIVING.
NOW HAND IT OVER! PERFUME?! [ GRUNTS .]
ARE YOU SAYING I SMELL BAD?! GOSH DARN IT! [ GRUNTING .]
[ BREATHING HEAVILY .]
SORRY, HONEY.
LOST MY TEMPER THERE FOR A SECOND.
SEE YOU AT LUNCH.
[ SMOOCHES, BLOWS .]
AAH! [ CREAK! .]
UGH.
[ RINGS .]
[ SIGHS .]
WANT TO SHARE GUMBALL'S LUNCH WITH ME, SWEETHEART? HEY, JAMIE, IF A COCONUT HAS BOTH HAIR AND MILK, WHY ISN'T IT CLASSIFIED AS A MAMMAL? UH SO, DARWIN, WHY DON'T WE GET SOME MORE FOOD IN THE BASEMENT? CLIP-CLOP! CLIP-CLOP! CLIP-CLOP! CLIP-CLOP! [ WHOOSH! .]
WERE YOU JUST GONNA SIT IN SILENCE UP THERE? WHY AREN'T YOU SAYING ANYTHING? SIMPLE.
HER PROBLEM IS THAT SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND LOVE.
SO THE BEST THING TO DO IS TO WAIT QUIETLY UNTIL SHE WORKS IT OUT FOR HERSELF.
BUT, DUDE, YOU'RE ENCOURAGING HER.
COULD YOU AT LEAST LOOK LESS ADORABLE? SOMETHING MORE LIKE THIS.
[ GRUNTS .]
[ SIGHS .]
YOU KNOW I CAN ONLY LOOK ADORABLE.
IT'S MY CURSE.
[ GRUNTS .]
SEE? NIPPLES! WHAT? A COCONUT HAS MILK, BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE NIPPLES, WHICH MEANS IT'S NOT A MAMMAL.
IT'S A HAIRY MILK CARTON FROM A TREE.
Wow.
COULD WE GET SOME PRIVACY? WE'RE HAVING A ROMANTIC MEAL HERE.
YEAH, I KNOW.
IT'S MINE.
LOOK, IF YOU DON'T GET OUT OF HERE, THERE WILL BE SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES INVOLVING YOU, ME, AN ELECTRIC FAN, AND A PAIR OF DICE.
YOUDICE.
[ SHUDDERS .]
[ SQUEAK! .]
[ BREATHING HEAVILY .]
TO THINK WE'VE ONLY BEEN TOGETHER FOR A DAY.
IT TAKES SOME COUPLES YEARS TO HAVE THE KIND OF LONG, COMFORTABLE SILENCES WE HAVE WHEN WE'RE ALONE.
Gumball: YOU RE NOT ALONE.
AND THIS ISN'T EXACTLY COMFORTABLE.
WHAT DID I TELL YOU?! [ SIGHS .]
Benches don't talk.
HEY, GUYS.
SO, HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON? WHAT? NO ONE ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION, YOU FROZEN FREAK! DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH MY MAN? I THINK YOU MIGHT BE OVERREACTING.
I'LL SHOW YOU OVERREACTING! [ HOWLING .]
[ SCREECHING .]
[ FARTS .]
EWW! [ GAGS .]
WHO DOES THAT?! [ SCREECHING .]
[ SCREAMING .]
Darwin: THAT LOOKS PRETTY GORILLA-ISH TO ME.
Gumball: DUDE, SHE'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
DO SOMETHING! LOOK, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK, HOW ABOUT YOU JUST USE BODY LANGUAGE? IT'S EASY.
IDON'T LOVEYOU! I RESPECT YOU AS A PERSON AND HOPE WE CAN BE FRIENDS IN THE FUTURE.
GOODBYE! GOODBYE! GOODBYE! UH -- UH, YOU GOT A BIT OF YELLOW ON YOU.
NO, ON YOUR HAND.
RIGHT.
I'LL JUST, UM, G-GO SCRAPE SARAH OFF THAT, UH, GENERAL AREA AND TAKE HER TO THE INFIRMARY.
[ WHIMPERS .]
[ GRUNTS .]
[ CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! .]
[ GRUNTS .]
[ EXHALES DEEPLY .]
[ GRUNTS .]
NOW I CAN SEE WHY YOU GUYS DON'T WANT TO GO TO GYM CLASS.
YOU SHOULD SEE WHAT SHE DOES WITH A LACROSSE STICK.
WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU FORGOT YOUR GYM-DODGING KIT.
THANKS.
THE LESS INTERACTION WITH HER, THE BETTER.
WHO IS SHE? YOUR FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW.
REALLY?! DARWIN! M-M-M-ME! WHOO-HOO! [ POP! POP! POP! POP! .]
HA HA AY-YI-YI! [ SMOOCHES .]
WHIRR.
[ PUCKERS .]
[ PANTS .]
AH! [ SMACKS LIPS .]
AAH! AAH! ARE YOU DONE? ALMOST.
BLAR! [ TRILLS .]
[ GRUNTS .]
KEE-COO-COO-KAH! [ WHISTLES .]
[ SLURPS .]
I NEED TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
HELLO, YOUNG LADY.
I'M DARWIN'S FATHER.
LISTEN, I JUST WANTED TO SAY -- NO, YLISTEN TO ME, MISTER.
I DON'T CARE THAT YOU DISAPPROVE OF OUR LOVE! YOU CAN'T STOP US FROM SEEING EACH OTHER! WHAT? [ Mockingly .]
"WHAT?" "WHAT?" YOU FIND THIS HARD TO SWALLOW? THEN I HAVE PLENTY MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM.
[ WHIMPERING .]
[ GLASS SHATTERS, ENGINE TURNS OVER .]
HOW COULD YOU LET THAT HAPPEN TO YOUR OWN FATHER AND SAY NOTHING? I MEAN, IF SHE WERE A FOOD, THERE WOULD BE A LABEL ON HER SAYING, "CONTAINS NUT.
" IF SHE WERE AN ANIMAL, SHE'D BE A "CRA-FISH"! IF SHE WERE A BIRD, HER SONG WOULD GO, "CUCKOO! CUCKOO!" [ GRUMBLING .]
THERE'S A MESSAGE IN THERE FOR YOU ABOUT YOUR DAD.
Gumball: "SOR-REE.
" HAS SHE GONE? UH-HUH.
AND IF HER SPELLING WERE BETTER, SHE COULD HAVE SPARED ONE OF YOU.
WHOA.
SHE EVEN LEFT A KISS NEXT TO IT.
WHO KISSES LIKE THAT? IT'S LIKE A RAP-STAR SNARL.
MWAH! DUDE, FOR THE SAKE OF EVERYONE'S SAFETY, CAN YOU PLEASE TALK TO HER AND PUT AN END TO THIS? MNH-MNH.
Gumball: PLEASE! Darwin: NO.
PLEASE! PLEASE! NO.
NO.
PLEASE! PLEASE! NO.
NO.
PLEASE! PLEASE! NO.
NO.
NO.
PLEASE.
[ SIGHS .]
BUMMER.
USUALLY WORKS ON TV.
Jamie: DARWIN! WHY AREN'T YOU SITTING NEXT TO ME? HE IS NEXT TO YOU.
BUT HE'S ALSO NEXT TO YOU.
SO? SO I'M TIRED OF HAVING TO SHARE MY BOYFRIEND WITH HIS OTHER BOYFRIEND.
WAIT, THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BOYFRIEND AND A FRIEND WHO'S A BOY, YOU KNOW.
NOT TO ME.
DARWIN, DO YOU REALIZE HOW THIS MAKES ME FEEL? [ MUMBLES .]
THEN I'LL SHOW YOU.
GUMBALL, FROM NOW ON, YOU'RE MY BOYFRIEND, TOO.
[ RECESSIONAL PLAYS .]
YOU MAY NOW KISS THE BRIDES.
YOU ALREADY HAVE A JOB! YOUR JOB IS TO LOOK AFTER THE KIDS! [ TIRES SCREECH, BABIES CRYING .]
DO YOU, UH, NOTICE ANYTHING DIFFERENT? [ BURPS, BLOWS .]
YOU LOOK OLDER.
[ PANTING .]
DON'T SAY ANYTHING.
SHE HAS TO WORK IT OUT FOR HERSELF.
[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS .]
OKAY, I'LL JUST RUN.
NO! DON'T DO ANYTHING EITHER! JUST ST-- AAH! [ PANTING .]
GUMBALL! COME BACK HERE! [ Singsongy voice .]
I'LL MAKE IT ROMANTIC FOR YOU.
AAH! [ Normal voice .]
LOOK.
CANDLES.
NOW GIVE ME YOUR HEART.
AAH! [ GASPING .]
WAIT! HOW ABOUT SOME MUSIC? DAISY, DAISY GIVE ME ANSWER TRUE SO CUTE.
[ CHUCKLES .]
[ WHIMPERS .]
COME BACK! I WROTE YOU A POEM! ROSES ARE RED.
VIOLETS ARE BLUE.
YOU ARE SO CUTE, I COULD JUST EAT YOU.
AAH! AAH! I CAN'T AFFORD A CARRIAGE A CARRIAGE I BAKED YOU A CAKE.
AAH! AAH! IT'S DELICIOUS! WHAT IS IT? AM I NOT PRETTY ENOUGH FOR YOU? [ DOOR SLAMS .]
AAH! IS THIS BETTER? [ SQUEAK! .]
DO YOU LIKE MY DRESS? IS IT THE COLOR? WAIT! I GOT YOU A PRESENT! [ SOBBING .]
NO! HELLO, BOYFRIEND.
I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR YOUR SPECIAL PRESENT.
SOMEBODY! DARWI-I-I-N! [ WHIMPERS .]
HERE IT COMES! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! UH AAH! I CAN'T DO THIS.
I CAN'T FORCE YOU TO BE MY BOYFRIEND.
THAT'S NOT HOW LOVE WORKS.
OKAY, SO YOU'RE NOT GONNA -- I'M NOT DONE YET! IF YOU WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP, THERE HAS TO BE A MUTUAL BOND OF TRUST.
OKAY, SO -- THERE'S MORE! LOVE IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TAKE.
IT'S SOMETHING YOU EARN.
I'M DONE NOW! OKAY, OKAY! GOOD! IONLY HAVE ONE QUESTION, THOUGH -- WHAT WERE YOU GONNA DO WITH THE FAN AND THE DICE? NOTHING.
I KNOW PEOPLE IMAGINE WAY SCARIER STUFF THAN ANYTHING I COULD THINK OF, SO I JUST CHUCK ANY TWO WORDS TOGETHER.
YOU, ME, A JUG OF GRAVY, AND AN UMBRELLA A FLAN AND A FRENCH HORN A FEATHER DUSTER AND A PACK OF MINI-PIZZAS.
Darwin: STOP! STOP! JAMIE! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! LOVE IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TAKE.
IT'S SOMETHING YOU EARN.
YOU THINK I'M STUPID?! YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS?! HYAH! [ THUD .]
YOU KNOW, DUDE, ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND SAY NOTHING.