The Awesomes (2013) s01e10 Episode Script

The Super-Hero Awards (2)

Ah, that's very nice.
Well, thank you, Mr.
Prime Minister.
I happily accept Japan's surrender.
I will be sending some henchmen by to do the final paperwork.
Sayonara! Ah, breakfast.
So, any update on finding the Awesomes? Ahem.
As of now I'm afraid there's been, uh, no progress.
No progress? That is an interesting update.
Do you see this? I have egg on my face, both figuratively and literally.
And I hate when it's both! They will be in the hologram room.
It's the safest place in Awesome Mountain.
Ah.
Thank you, Muscleman.
Where would I be without your help? Okay, you know what? Let me do it, let me do it.
You're just spreading the egg around.
It's empty.
I don't understand.
The H.
I.
P.
I.
E.
R.
can project a hologram of an empty version of itself.
It's one of the safeguards for a moment just like this.
Wow! Did your dad come up with that? No, I did.
My Dad didn't think it would work.
- So, what now? - Now? We book a ticket to Washington.
This feels awesome This feels awesome Yeah, this feels awesome Now, this feels awesome This feels awesome This feels so awesome There was no sign of them in the hologram room.
You said they would be there.
Yeah, I thought they would.
My plan is not complete until I find Prock.
Don't worry.
He'll come here.
Why would he come here? Coming here means certain capture.
- He'll come.
- Wonderful.
Because only when I have the son of Mr.
Awesome will I truly be satisfied.
Uh, is it possible that you'll never be truly satisfied? I mea Maybe the engine that drives you isn't the lack of accomplishments, but a core sadness that's never going to go away.
- Who the [bleep] is this guy? - Sorry, he's new.
Well get him the [bleep] out of here.
Wow.
You know, I'm not gonna lie.
I'm really rattled by what just went down.
Shake it off, Giuseppi.
Come on.
Okay.
Give me a status.
"A core sadness that's never going to go away"? - What the [bleep]? - Just let it go, boss.
Hey, that guy don't know nothing, boss.
You're right.
He don't know nothing.
But still.
Sheesh.
Okay.
Status report on the power grid? Half of the power in D.
C.
has been routed directly to the Spectrum Ray.
Good.
It is a priority that it remains fully charged.
If the Spectrum Ray goes down, all the heroes get their powers back.
And we can't have that.
Now, time to rule the world.
Tell me again why they don't know it's us? Holograms.
As long as we're within the confines of Awesome Mountain, H.
I.
P.
I.
E.
R is able to project different identities on us.
Why I gotta have a goat's head? Where do you think you're going? We have orders to catalog all the items in the Awesome vault.
No one goes down there without being on the list.
Now scram! - Good work, Tim.
- You're welcome.
- What are you guys doing? - Malocchio ordered us to box everything in the vault up and ship it to him at the White House.
Hmm.
- Hmm, what? - Sorry? You said "hmm" like what I said gave you an idea.
Oh, no.
That's, um that's just a thing I do.
- You know.
"Hmm.
" - It's real irritating.
We don't have a lot of time, let's move fast.
- Holograms down.
- What are you looking for? If we're going near the Spectrum Ray, we gonna need to be prepared.
Ah, here they are.
Everyone take one of these.
- What are they? - Spectrum Ray immunity pills.
They'll help us keep our powers.
We still have to get to the White House.
How are we going to do that? This place is crawling with henchmen and the holograms won't work once we walk out the door.
When I said "hmm" a minute ago, I did have an idea.
These boxes are going to the White House.
So are we.
- Oh, I am not traveling in a box.
- It's the only way.
- Well put me down as "fussy" about that.
- And put me down as "excited.
" When I was young, my parents often made me sleep in a box.
One time, they even buried it.
This is a good plan, right? Right.
What's Malocchio gonna do with all of this stuff? He's going to incinerate it all on the White House lawn.
Sort of a, uh, "from the ashes of the past is born a new present" kind of situation.
- Love those.
- Heh.
Same here.
Load her up! Oh, Catherine.
You disappoint me.
Did you really think I would leave the Spectrum Ray unprotected? Why not just accept that you are a Malocchio, - and all Malocchios are evil? - I don't have to be evil just because I'm your daughter.
I can make my own choices.
Piece of advice: don't have kids.
I can't.
You see, I was in this terrible nuclear accident Did I ask for your life story? - Because I don't recall asking you.
- Sorry.
So, what do you think we should do with her, Muscleman? If she wants to be a hero, then put her with the rest of the heroes.
- Good idea.
- Why are you doing this, Muscleman? You've been in the Awesomes your whole life.
Because for the first time in my life, I feel appreciated.
And I like it.
Take her to the hero cage! - Hey, Hotwire.
- Hey.
- Um, are we still a couple? - We are not.
- Is that someone's cell phone? - No! Definitely not.
They confiscated all the cell phones.
Maybe someone snuck one in and we can call for help.
I think this is one of those phantom ring things.
Where you hear a phone that isn't there.
Do you have a phone down your pants? It's just ever since I lost my powers, everything got a little smaller, so to compensate Just give me the phone and I promise not to tell anyone.
Hey, Prock, how come you were never fooled by Malocchio? For some reason, his powers don't work on me.
They never worked on my father, either.
Funny, I never thought I inherited anything from my dad, - but I guess I did.
- Did your father have stinky feet? Because you might have inherited those too.
Huh.
No.
My dad didn't have any flaws.
- Ha! - "Ha" what? I knew your father for 70 years.
He was a great hero.
The best ever.
But he wasn't perfect.
He made mistakes all the time.
Usually from being so damned full of himself.
But he knew he had flaws, so he surrounded himself with other heroes.
He knew he couldn't do it alone.
Just like you knew when you put this team together.
You're a lot more like your old man than you give yourself credit for, kid.
Wow.
Thanks, Gadget Gal.
I've spent my whole life thinking I wasn't half the man my dad was.
Well, you're wrong.
You're exactly half the man your dad was.
Whose phone is that? - It's mine.
- What song is that? - It's a theme song I wrote.
- For what? Like, if we ever had our own TV show, you know, that followed our exploits, I thought it would be good to have, uh, like a theme, - a theme song.
- You are desperately lame.
I-I can't reach it.
Can I get some help here? Ooh! It is a devilish smell in this crate! - Hello? - Prock? It's Hotwire.
- Oh.
Hey.
- Are you alone? Um, yeah.
Shh! Well, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I lied to you and the team.
Malocchio made me believe he was doing all of this for good.
I now know it wasn't.
And when you say Malocchio, do you mean your father? - Oh.
You figured that out.
- Yeah.
Way to have the worst dad ever.
I hope one day I can make it up to you.
Well, look, I'm kind of busy right now.
I lied about a lot of things, Prock, but I never pretended to like you.
That was real.
Aww.
Am I on speaker? No.
But we're kind of all in a crate.
Why are you in a crate? I'd tell you, but I don't trust you.
Best of luck with whatever you do next in your life, Hotwire.
Bye.
- Her father is Malocchio? - Yeah! Crazy, right? You can't blame the kid for that! We don't pick our parents.
I think we're here.
Hey.
Name's Teleportation Larry.
I know, Larry.
We were teammates.
Hey, I thought you teleported The Awesomes out of here? I did.
But I teleported back to settle up my bar tab.
Teleportation Larry always pays his debt! - Noble.
- Anyhoo, word on the street is we're all gonna be dead soon.
So do you wanna have sex as a goodbye world dealio? If I had my powers, I'd zap us somewhere romantic like Hawaii, but since I don't, I've cleared a nice spot over in the corner.
Tell you what.
You zap me to Hawaii, I'm all yours.
Whoa, okay.
And aloha to you.
Why would they be in a crate? That's right.
Empty them out and then we burn it all.
Dr.
Malocchio, some rebel members of the army - are preparing to attack.
- Adorable.
Get my gun.
My big gun.
Now, hopefully it's nice and quiet outside, so we can make a surprise approach.
You never changed, did you, Dr.
Malocchio? It was all a lie.
You're the same bastard - you've always been.
- You figured that out all by yourself? My, my, Prock.
You really are a genius.
But now there is nowhere to run.
And nowhere to hide.
Run! Hide! What did I just say about running and hiding? What does a guy have to do to get listened to? - That's enough.
- Okay, that's right.
That's enough.
Should I just give you the gun? - Are you serious? - Of course I'm not.
I finally have everything I want and you can't stop me.
You don't have any powers, you never did.
And all the heroes gave them away.
All because I asked them to.
- I'm gonna stop you.
I will.
- You won't.
You can't.
You are not your father.
I'm getting real sick of hearing that.
Ah! Wow.
Way too low on my jump.
This is such a delight.
The Awesomes have stopped by to complete my collection of heroes.
So tell me, are you here to fight, or are you here to surrender? What do you say, boss? Is it time for our last stand? No.
Surrender.
That ain't how I play things, sweet cheeks.
No, listen.
He doesn't know you took immunity pills and your powers still work.
Surrender, and he'll put you with the heroes.
You have to escape and destroy the Spectrum Ray.
- What are you gonna do? - Buy us some time.
I feel like I'm letting them whisper too much.
Let's go, guys.
- I surrender.
- Us too.
I don't like it, but I also turn myself over.
I'm basically secretarial staff, but I'm all yours.
- And what about you, Prock? - I'm here to fight.
Ha.
Well, I would love to fight you, Prock, I would.
But I think it would be so much more entertaining if you fought him.
- Muscleman? - That's right.
Muscleman.
He's on my team now.
Too bad, so sad.
- It can't be.
- Oh, it be.
It be 100 percent.
Let us out! Let us out! Dear God, let us out! And they're gone.
Listen up, everybody, we are the Awesomes.
Are we supposed to be excited about this news? You may think we're second-rate, but guess what, mother[bleep], we still got our powers.
Now, we can't give you back your powers until we destroy the ray, but we can let you out.
And the question is, are you hero enough to fight without your powers? - Yeah! Woo-hoo! - Now, does anybody here know where the Spectrum Ray is? I do.
- Hello, traitor.
- I deserve that.
I do.
But I'm also the only one here who knows where that ray is.
And I'm the only one who can destroy it.
What are you waiting for, Muscleman? - Hey, buddy! - Buddy? So you're not evil? No.
I'm pretending to be.
Uh! You're doing a good job of pretending.
I have to make it look good.
When Malocchio offered me a chance to join him, I thought it would be smart to take it.
It was better than smart.
It was genius.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Here you go.
I'm sorry I took you for granted.
I'm sorry I walked out on the team.
You were right about Hotwire, you know.
Yeah, she's on our side now.
- Really? - Yeah.
She is complicated.
But then again, I think all women are complicated.
Except for my Nana.
My Nana is a straight shooter.
The rest of the team is releasing the heroes.
- I need to find the ray.
- What do you want me to do? Can you throw me through an open window? You know it! Good luck, buddy.
Thanks.
And hey, Muscleman, I'm glad you're not mad at me.
I could never stay mad at you.
You're my best friend.
Gotta find that ray.
Bravo, Muscleman.
You have done excellent work.
- Eh, what's so funny? - It's just that I'm about to say something for the first time that people have been saying to me my whole life.
- What's that? - You're an idiot.
The heroes have escaped.
No! It can't be.
Stop them! They don't have their powers as long as the Spectrum Ray is working! There's nothing to be afraid Catherine! Perfect Man! Good to see you.
Muscleman.
I don't have any of my powers.
You are still a very fit and, if I may say so, handsome man.
- You don't need power to throw punches.
- I guess you're right.
- Back to backers? - You bet.
So, what? Do we just look for the off switch? It's surrounded by a force field.
I have an idea.
So your idea was for everyone to try and walk through it? Well, it's easy to say it was a bad idea after the fact.
- What are we going to do? - I don't know.
I'm not smart enough to figure it out.
Maybe I am.
Smart enough to figure it out.
- Was that clear? - Yeah.
- Hey.
- Hey.
So I heard you're one of the good guys now.
I'm trying.
Could you please snap out of it? Sorry.
So, what's the situation? If I can get to the Spectrum Ray, I can shut it down.
But there's a force field we can't get through.
And we don't know what's powering the force field.
Hey, look.
When you look at the force field from back here, it looks like Malocchio's eye.
- He's right.
- So the force field is controlled by Malocchio's hypnotism.
But unfortunately for Malocchio, his hypnotism doesn't work on me.
But I'm the one that has to get in there.
- Will this work? - When have I been wrong? Exactly half of the time.
I don't suppose you have any last tricks up your sleeve.
Just one.
Come on, Prock.
We're out of time.
Come on, there has to be a way to get you off.
Why isn't it working? Why? Because while you were always a sweet little girl, you're still just a sweet little girl.
Hotwire, hurry! What a sight to see.
Two kids who just couldn't live up to their impressive parents.
I blame the schools.
As for your friends outside, they put up a good fight, but they're under control now.
It's all over, you see.
You couldn't stop me.
And now, thanks to the Spectrum Ray that your father invented, - I cannot be defeated - Got it! Are you [bleep]ing kidding me? Not my day.
It's over, Malocchio.
You lost.
It's almost over, Prock.
You don't stay in the game as long as I have - without a few fail-safes.
- Fail-safes? Just in case anyone did turn off the Spectrum Ray, I wired it to explode in one minute.
I even put a timer on it, which I think was a nice touch.
- We have to get out of here.
- Yes, by all means go.
But your team will stay, because they are under my mind control.
So do you go Prock? Or do you stay? Stop.
They all had different powers, but you could always tell a Malocchio villain by the trademark evil eye, which is the translation of the Italian word "mal occhio.
" His eye.
He hypnotizes using his eye.
Start.
You missed.
I might not know everything, Malocchio, but I know the angles.
Ow! My eye! Frantic! Get us out of here now! - My daughter stays with me.
- No! Let go, Prock.
You have to get out.
I can't.
Today the President personally thanked Perfect Man, not only for his heroic actions in the battle against Malocchio, but for rebuilding the White House in the course of an afternoon.
And for you bravery and courage, I am proud to present you with the Golden Medal of Heroism.
Golden Medal of Heroism? All mine says is "Participant.
" - Shh! - Thank you Mr.
President.
Of all my victories, this was the greatest.
But it had a cost.
I lost my girlfriend, Hotwire.
Hotwire was cool.
We weren't super serious, but she was a good lady.
- Where's Prock? - Nursing the one injury he's never had before, a broken heart.
I'm sorry, buddy.
- I couldn't save her.
- No, you couldn't.
But you saved mankind, and that's not bad.
- Yeah.
- I'm proud of you.
And you know what? If your Dad could see you, he'd be proud of you too.
I can see you, and I am proud, son.
Now give me back my book! let it hold me back.
- What are you watching? - Nothing.
You'll have to excuse me.
I was pretty trashed last night.
I remember maybe grabbing you right before an explosion? I was pretty trashed too.
Nice.
Hey, What did you say your name was? Hot Catherine.
It's just Catherine.
So even though the Superhero Awards turned out to be fake, I would like to read the acceptance speech I wrote in case we did win.
Ahem.
They said it couldn't be done.
- Uh, this is gonna be long.
- "Disband the Awesomes," they all cried.
But they did not understand that in change there is growth.
Even the mightiest oak needs to be pruned, so it may stand taller.
Or in another analogy, the acorn from that mighty oak needs to be planted, watered, nurtured, taught, trained, and again, watered.
For the circle of life requires Aw, play-off music? What? - Wrap it up.
- And finally, I'd like to thank Jack Link's jerky for sponsoring us this year.
You guys believed in us before anyone else.
You've been great partners and you make great jerky.
Thank you! See you guys next year! You did it, Prock! How am I supposed to know that you're high If you won't let me touch you? How am I supposed to know that you're high If you won't even dance? How am I supposed to know that you're high If you won't even dance? Yeah, you won't even dance