The Boys (2019) s04e03 Episode Script

1
- ["AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL"]
- [BOY] O beautiful ♪
- For spacious skies ♪
- [CROWD PROTESTING]
For amber ♪
- Waves of grain ♪
- [OVERLAPPING SHOUTING]
- [HELICOPTER WHIRRING]
- [BOY] For purple mountain ♪
[SHOUTING INTENSIFIES]
[BOY] Above the fruited ♪
- Fuck you!
- [CROWD] Starlight's right! Starlight's right!
Starlight's right! Starlight's right!
Starlight's right! Starlight's right!
Starlight's right! Starlight's right!
To shining sea ♪
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- Big round of applause
for the Samaritan's Embrace Boys Choir.
I'll tell you, these kids really are
a comfort in troubled
times, aren't they?
- [CHEERING]
- Yeah. A time when this country
is facing the biggest
threat in its history,
Starlighters.
- [BOOING]
- [CROWD CHANTING] Starlight is right!
[HOMELANDER] What do these
crazies want to do now?
They want to get rid of superheroes.
- You asshole!
- Get out.
[HOMELANDER] They want to get rid of me.
[CROWD] No!
And then they want to replace
you with some godless,
non-binary socialists like them.
- [BOOING]
- Their depraved leader Starlight commands it.
- String her up!
- [CROWD CHEERING]
Love you, pal.
I love all of you. And I love
this country, so I am not
gonna let that happen.
The Seven is gonna fight back.
- [CHEERING]
- [HOMELANDER] All right,
here they are,
the defenders of real Americans.
Yeah.
Deep, A-Train and Black Noir.
- [TWISTED SISTER: "I WANNA ROCK"]
- I wanna rock ♪
Rock ♪
I wanna rock ♪
Rock ♪
I want to rock ♪
You're doing too much, pull it back.
And today is a very special day
because The Seven is getting
even stronger as we welcome
- two new members.
- [WHOOPS]
Put your hands together for
Firecracker and Sister Sage.
- [AIR HORN BLOWS]
- Woo-hoo! Yeah!
- [BACHMAN TURNER OVERDRIVE: "TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS"]
- Taking care of business ♪
You look great. Really suits you.
Welcome, ladies, welcome.
[CHEERING]
Well, as for that last spot, who knows?
But, actually, my son
he did stop those bank
robbers the other day.
- Y-You saw that video, right?
- [CHEERING]
So, let's just say I might be keeping
that last chair warm for him,
- all right?
- [CROWD CHEERING]
[BUTCHER] There's enough here
to take down a bull elephant.
[KESSLER] Ten bull elephants.
I'm not taking any chances.
How you gonna get
close enough to use it?
If I can get Ryan here, I can
dose him. You just be ready.
He's not gonna be real happy
with us when he wakes up.
Grace built the Hazlet Safe House
with the specific intention
of hot-boxing Supes.
- It'll hold Ryan.
- Not for long.
Then we better work fast.
Like when we deprogrammed
them two ISIL lads, eh?
And if he doesn't listen to us?
[HOMELANDER ON TV] My son Ryan.
[CROWD CHEERING]
Then we keep him high
on Halothane till he does.
Now listen here, Joe,
we get Ryan's head clear,
and that's it, all right?
Nothing about training him
up to top Homelander.
So you've said.
I mean it, Joe.
Would you train your
boy up to be a killer?
Listen, brother, you don't trust me?
Go back to your team.
Oh. Wait.
- [CROWD CHEERING]
- [LAUGHS]
[WHOOPS]
[BOOING]
Smile. Right now.
[HOMELANDER] Ooh, there we go!
[FIRECRACKER] Did you know that these
"vaccines" that they're giving out
at the Starlight House
actually cause autism?
And-and not that cool Rain Man autism
that makes you good at
counting cards and shit.
- Her?
- Yeah.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
Seems like she fell off her Jet Ski
one too many times.
Mm-mm. Now that Starlight's back
leading the Starlighters, we need her.
Mm. That is gonna shut them up?
No. She's gonna make them louder.
Are you gonna trust me or not?
Is there a problem?
'Cause this is a huge day for you,
but you seem to have something
firmly lodged up your asshole.
This spandex is.
Up my ass and in a camel toe.
- Mm.
- The whole point was for me to stay behind the scenes.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
You're clearly punishing me
for openly disagreeing with you,
which you said you could handle,
but clearly you can't.
- Do you really think I'd be that petty?
- Yes, I do.
I mean, did it occur to you
that it is harder to stage
a fucking coup
with a million eyes on me?
Popularity is power, Sister.
It's a prison.
Listen, it's gonna be great. Okay?
You're a member of The Seven
now. You're a superhero.
Act like it.
Hey, how about a photo
with the new girl, guys?
Yeah, get in here.
- Front and center.
- [HOMELANDER] Get in there.
- Make a sandwich out of her.
- Right there.
Like, if she really cared about women,
why push to let these transgenders
into the girls' bathrooms?
- [SIGHS]
- [FIRECRACKER] Because she in no way represents
Vought's values.
Because we are on the
right side of history here.
I'm back.
[CROWD CHEERING]
Starlight is
[STEVE] All pretty cut and dry.
Your mom has power of attorney,
and she has to execute
your dad's wishes.
Right, but that-that directive
only applies to a vegetative state.
My dad's not a vegetable.
His doctor say so?
People wake up from comas all the time.
[STEVE] I'm sorry, Hughie.
There just really isn't anything
you can do legally.
You want my advice?
Just work it out with your mom.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Hey. What are you doing here?
We need to talk.
Um Just give me one sec.
[DOOR OPENS]
Hey, welcome to Starlight
House. Can I help you?
- Where are they?
- I'm sorry, who?
Where are the kids?
The ones in the basement.
- We don't have a basement.
- Bullshit.
Firecracker's onto you pedos.
What, are you selling Cheese
Pizza? C.P.? Child Porn?
Okay. Uh
- [WOMAN] Oh, my God.
- Stay back.
All right.
- I'm rescuing those kids.
- [WOMAN] Call the police.
- All right, all right.
- [GRUNTS]
- Come on, now.
- [GRUNTS]
[SPEAKS FRENCH]
- [CHOKES]
- [OTHERS GASP]
- Frenchie?
- The hell happened?
[STEVE] A friend of Firecracker's.
Un imbécile.
[TENSE, DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
- [GROANS]
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Okay. So, how does a chemist
know how to disarm a guy
like Jason fucking Bourne?
I'd say more like Jean Reno
- in Léon.
- Never heard of it.
You're a thousand years old.
Okay. There.
You need me to kiss it better?
[TENDER MUSIC PLAYING]
I'm fine.
Oh, Colin.
I can't.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
You gonna knock me out, too?
[SIGHS]
[MITCH] We've got Berns and Sasha.
[BOB] I don't care
about our side, Mitch.
Tell me about the other side.
How many are still in Vought's pockets?
[MITCH] 214 in the House.
43 in the Senate.
Fucking hell.
Sorry I'm late. Bob's office must've
forgotten to loop me in on this.
Glad you could make it, Vicky.
I read the new draft. There
seems to be an amendment.
Vought's been calling the shots
for too damn long.
Thanks to Starlight,
folks are wising up.
The DOJ is filing antitrust charges,
but I say we take it a step further.
It's time we ban Supes
from the military,
from private policing,
and all other government
positions. Don't you agree?
Of course. But, I mean,
we don't want to seem
as though we're prejudiced
against them either, so
Supes are entertainers,
period, end of story.
So, shouldn't we take
them off the streets
and put them back on The Masked Singer,
where they belong?
[TENSE, DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
Absolutely.
[CAMERON COLEMAN SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY OVER TV]
[SCOFFS] No matter. [SPEAKS FRENCH]
A Shining Light cell nearby.
How do you know?
Hughie helped me with the CIA Mainframe.
I'm a hacker now.
The therapist was right.
I need to face my past.
So I'm going to kill them all.
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Absolute no. Bad. This
is a bad idea, very bad.
Shining Light is hurting kids.
Kids like me.
You need to come with me.
No questions. No hesitation.
Because I'm asking you.
When do we leave?
[ANNIE] Um, just, uh
- Just keep your arms up.
- Yeah.
I mean, you're 80% limbs.
Use 'em. [CHUCKLES]
- Okay. Arms are up.
- Mm-hmm. Okay.
[GRUNTS]
Ah, fuck, that was hard.
That was, like, 10% of hard.
Yo. These new Seven picks
make any goddamn sense to you?
I mean, Sage? Elon Musk
has more charm than she does,
and he's half-android.
I mean, Firecracker hates my guts
for some reason, but outside
of that, I don't get it.
- Something big is happening.
- Mm-hmm.
And we need help. Now, look,
I know y'all ain't gonna like this shit.
- I want to flip A-Train.
- [HUGHIE] What?
- You're joking.
- Fuck that.
We turn A-Train informant,
there's no bigger fish than him.
Yeah, or he could murder you.
He did help clear your Starlighters.
Guys, I know when
a motherfucker's wavering, okay?
And A-Train, he's right
there, he's ready.
One guess what my problem
with this might be?
No. No.
- I think we should bring Butcher back.
- Fuck no.
And need I remind you
who still runs this operation.
I thought we all had a say.
I thought that was the point.
[MOTHER'S MILK] Hello?
You guys want to ask before
you just up and fuck off?
[FIRECRACKER OVER TV] 'Cause we are
on the right side of history here.
- I just think that I am living proof
- Oh, God.
[FIRECRACKER] that America
is still the land of opportunity,
where a woman can make it
all the way to The Seven Tower
without blowing some dude to get there.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING]
[VIDEO GAME ANNOUNCER] Lamplighter.
Crimson Countess.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[BUTCHER] Oi, Ryan.
[RYAN] Butcher?
[BUTCHER] Well, better me than
some dodgy incel hawkin' Voughtcoin.
[RYAN] My dad said I'm
not supposed to talk to you.
[BUTCHER STAMMERS] Hang on.
Hang on. Hang on.
Just-just give me 20 seconds.
[VIDEO GAME ANNOUNCER] Begin.
[BUTCHER] We need to talk.
- [RYAN] We're talking now.
- [BUTCHER] No, no, a-a proper catch up,
in real life, over at my place maybe.
Come on, don't make me play
the "six months to live" card.
I mean, if you had a "one
month to live" card,
then that'd be something.
[BUTCHER CHUCKLES] Nice one.
Reckon I deserved that.
[SCREAMS]
[BUTCHER] Just please
think about it, all right?
That's all I ask.
- And we will not be denied.
- [CROWD CHEERING]
[ANNIE] It is long overdue
for Vought and Homelander's power
to be curbed and regulated
because they do not have all the power.
- We do.
- [CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
[ANNIE] I know that I
that-that Starlight
- [MUFFLED] Hey, boss?
- [ANNIE] has been gone for too long.
- I just wanted to personally thank you for
- [ANNIE] Well, today,
- I can promise you, not anymore.
- [FIRECRACKER CONTINUES MUFFLED]
I'm back.
[CROWD CHEERING]
- Starlight is back.
- fuckin' sexy-ass new suit.
Breathing the same air as Homelander.
- Yeah. [CHUCKLES]
- S-Sorry, wh-wh what?
[CROWD ON TV] Starlight! Starlight!
I just want you to know
that I will forever be
your most loyal servant.
- Okay.
- So, anything you need,
anything,
I mean anything.
- Anything.
- With Starlight reclaiming her role
- as leader of her grassroots movement
- Anything.
- and calls for increased superhero oversight
- Anything.
- Okay.
- Okay? Good.
[BLACK NOIR] I studied
performing arts at Godolkin.
I did Cirque de Vought in Montreal.
You didn't hire me to stand around
like a fucking oak tree.
- What do you need?
- Some direction.
Look, I'm on an island here, okay?
I have questions, but
I'm not allowed to speak.
Like, Noir lives
in a ninja dojo apartment,
but, best I can tell,
he didn't know karate.
I need some intentionality here.
Is there, like, a playlist I can use
to get me inside his head?
- I don't think he listens
- Shut the fuck up, Noir,
and everyone take your seats.
Ashley, you can go.
Sorry, sir?
This is a meeting of The Seven,
and you're not a member.
But I'm always here. I
Well, Sage is gonna
take over your workload.
For all intents and purposes,
she's the new CEO.
[HISSES, HUFFS]
Am I getting fired?
- Course not.
- No.
Company still needs a figurehead like
Ronald McDonald or Buster Beaver.
Oh I'm a mascot.
Exactly. A mascot.
Okay.
Okay. [CHUCKLES]
Great.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Actually, Ashley. Uh
there is one thing you can do for me.
Yeah?
Find Ryan, would you? Thanks.
Okay. Sure.
Shit.
Okay. So, Sage here has something
she would like to address with the gr
[SNORING]
[HOMELANDER] You have got
to be fucking kidding me.
Is Noir sleeping?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, shit! Sorry, you guys.
I'm narcoleptic.
Oh, what the fuck?
Sage.
Few days ago,
valuable surveillance footage
was taken from Crime Analytics
and given to Starlight or
some members of her team
clearing these two men of
murdering three Hometeamers.
[SIGHS]
Why is everybody looking at me?
Because it's your department.
Yeah, but I didn't do anything.
I'm gonna need a list of every employee
- with access to the server room.
- [SCOFFS]
- And you are no longer in charge of Crime Analytics.
- What?
Good. Okay.
Moving on. What's next?
[SAGE] Reactions from today's
presentation are coming in.
- [PHONE BUZZES]
- Very positive. Ryan's received offers
from Teenage Kix
- and Capes for Christ.
- [HOMELANDER] Well, you know
The Starlighters have started
a hashtag called RescueRyan.
- [EXHALES]
- [AMBROSIUS] Kevin?
Honey, is that you?
Yeah. It is.
[AMBROSIUS] Can you
at least open the door
and look at me when we're talking?
What?
Notice anything?
My tank. You forgot to clean it
and now there's an algae bloom.
Sorry. All right?
You've been so distant lately,
and we haven't been intimate
in over a week.
You're working too hard.
Let's take a vacation.
My cousins live
on that reef off Nantucket
Hey, how many times do
we have to go over this?
I can't just drop everything
and go on vacation, okay?
I have work.
At least let me spend some time
in the aquarium above your bed?
It's so dark in here.
[PLAINTIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIGHS] Just I can't, babe.
Are you embarrassed by me?
No, I'm not I'm not
embarrassed by you, okay?
I've told you that. I'm It's just
You know, it's-it's too risky.
Just tell me what's wrong.
Mm? Yeah, I'm great. Honestly, babe.
[ASHLEY] God, I've given him everything.
I haven't had a doctor's appointment
in three fucking years.
Countless UTIs,
enough yeast infections
to open a Panera.
I don't need this crap, you know?
I went to Vanderbilt!
[COLEMAN] Don't quote me on it, but
you should leave
a floater in his toilet.
I did it to Suzanne, and
you'd be surprised
how satisfying it felt.
Did I give you permission to talk,
you fucking prom night dumpster baby?
[GASPS] I'm gonna finally do it.
I am finally gonna fucking quit.
Disney's been trying
to recruit me for years,
and I am a goddamn girlboss.
Now who wants their balls crushed?
Me?
[LESLEY GORE: "SUNSHINE,
LOLLIPOPS AND RAINBOWS"]
Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows ♪
Everything that's wonderful
is what I feel ♪
When we're together ♪
Brighter than a lucky penny ♪
When you're near the rain
goes, disappears, dear ♪
And I feel so fine ♪
Just to know that you are mine ♪
My life is sunshine ♪
- Lollipops and rainbows ♪
- [THUD]
That's how this refrain goes ♪
So come on, join in, everybody ♪
Sunshine, lollipops, and ♪
[BUTCHER] Yeah. I've got Connect 4,
and LEGO.
Plus, a special little
something just for you.
Your mum's recipe.
World-famous, some say.
Mom used to bake them every year
for my birthday instead of cake.
But no, thanks.
- Really?
- I'm not hungry.
All right. Maybe later, then.
Fancy a game?
It's nothing.
I'm fine.
Butcher
Are you scared?
Scared of what?
To die, I mean?
I'm all right with it.
[SIGHS]
You're lying.
I can tell when you're lying.
You know, maybe this was
I-I just think I should go.
Oi, Ryan.
How's your foosball?
What's foosball?
[SONIC BOOM]
Hughie's guy?
- You jacked my brother's phone?
- Cloned it.
Had to get your attention somehow.
You know I could smear
your motherfucking face
across this astroturf in three seconds,
- right?
- Like you did Blue Hawk?
- I just want to talk.
- Why the fuck would I ever talk to you?
'Cause you gave Starlight that footage.
I got you on the office camera doing it.
Matter of fact, I got so
much dirt on you, A-Train,
I could bury you six dozen feet under.
But I don't think I'm
gonna need to do that.
And why is that?
'Cause of those dark circles
under your eyes.
You ain't getting no sleep.
It makes me wonder, what the fuck
is keeping A-Train up at night?
Is it that bullshit white savior
movie they got you in?
Or that they put your
brother in a wheelchair?
Or guilt for beating three man
to death over at Planet Vought?
I knew one of those guys.
Wasn't my favorite person,
but he was innocent.
You know what I think?
I think you've spent so much time
wearing that stupid-ass
Black Power suit,
pretending to give a shit,
that something stuck.
You may have that racist
white boy's heart up in you,
but you got a second goddamn
chance to actually give a shit.
So what you gonna do with it, man?
Fuck you.
Sage is already hunting for
whoever leaked that footage.
'Cause giving a shit
just gets you killed.
True.
But you're still standing here.
[INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER NEARBY]
Should be about 10 Shining Light,
but maybe
You okay?
Are you high right now?
Of course not.
- You are!
- It's just this light mélange
of hallucinogens.
I'm fine.
One man. Armed.
[GRUNTS]
- [GAGS]
- [LES TERRIBLES: "LA NUIT LE JOUR"]
Mon Dieu!
Tu es à moi pendant le jour ♪
Oui, mais la nuit ♪
Je suis tout seul sans ♪
[CRACKLING]
Et je m'ennuie ♪
Je suis jaloux de tout ce temps ♪
[CRUNCHES]
Moi, je veux ♪
[COLIN ECHOING] Frenchie Frenchie
Ne soient qu'à moi,
le jour, la nuit, le jour ♪
Frenchie.
Colin?
[SHOUTING]
Frenchie.
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]
Frenchie
Colin?
What are you doing here?
Just some family time.
I'm sorry.
- I am so sorry. [SOBS]
- No, you're not.
If you were really sorry, you
wouldn't have kept doing it.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]
[GROANING]
Non, s'il vous plaît. Non.
[GASPS]
- [WOMAN] Sergei
- [GASPS]
[WOMAN WHISTLES]
- [GROANS]
- Mm.
Why shoot me?
I don't hold your choke
chain anymore, Zaichik.
Nobody does.
Mm. You're free of me
Aw, and look at you, on your own.
Complete and utter failure.
Fucking that boy you
orphaned, it's pathetic.
All because you cannot accept
what you've always known to be true.
You killed them. Every last one.
The women and children.
And you only have yourself to blame.
You're a murderer.
A monster
through and through.
[GRUNTING]
Kimiko?
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[FRENCHIE] Hey!
Who is she?
Where did you go?
[DOOR CLOSES]
[LAUGHS]
Where'd you learn how to play?
Down the local pub.
Lenny and I'd spend hours at it
while the old man was
getting pissed with his mates.
Who's Lenny?
My little brother.
He, uh he passed away.
I always used to let him win.
But I ain't making the same mistake
with you, governor. [CHUCKLES]
Sorry.
Oi! [LAUGHS]
That's okay.
Everyone at the Tower
always lets me win.
It's no fun.
Saw your save on the telly.
So, you're a big hero now, eh?
Not really. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Come on, you're a star.
Nailed your lines and all.
I actually
I accidentally hurt someone.
What do you mean, "hurt 'em"?
I was supposed to throw them
but I did it too hard.
They gonna be all right?
My dad says I shouldn't even care.
[EXHALES]
I get why you don't want me.
I wouldn't want me, either.
Hey.
Now you listen to me.
Them horrible things I said
I didn't mean 'em.
I have this, uh
I have this habit, see,
of pushing people away.
Why?
'Cause, uh
'Cause I'm a bad man.
I ain't got no business
looking after a kid.
Ah, that's not true.
Before, you asked if I was scared.
And the truth of the matter
is I'm bloody terrified, mate.
I'm leaving this world
with nothing to show for it.
I lost me bruv
your mum.
And I could be leaving
without making things right
with the one part of her
that is still alive.
And that
that scares me more than anything.
Why'd you do that?
I fucked 'em up.
Put way too much sugar in 'em.
[RYAN LAUGHS SOFTLY]
[BUTCHER CHUCKLES]
Hey
how about we have another game, eh?
- Yeah.
- [BUTCHER PATS RYAN]
Come on then.
Best of three, all right?
Give me your best game.
[SAGE] So,
tell me about your relationship
with Starlight.
- [TV PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND]
- I understand you two were friends.
Uh, friends?
Um, no, I wouldn't say
that we were friends.
I mean, we, uh, shared
an Almond Joy from time to time.
Our records show you made a phone call
to the Starlight House
within the past month, so
- Um
- Are you working with her?
Uh, no, I-I was just, um,
donating some clothes?
So why is your heart pounding
like a little bass drum?
I didn't do anything,
- okay? I swear.
- Okay, let's-let's just all calm down.
Okay? You're not in trouble here,
Anika. [LAUGHS]
Starlight's the bad guy here. So,
look, we're gonna find out anyway,
so, you just tell us the truth,
we swear you'll be fine.
Right?
Yes, yes, I I swear.
I I swear
on the life of my son.
[NEWS CONTINUES PLAYING ON TV]
Okay.
Mm, yes, Starlight did call me
a few days ago.
She just wanted some help tracking
[GASPS]
Ah!
[HOMELANDER] What?
- She confessed. Leak plugged.
- You don't think
the next word out of her mouth
might have been useful?
- Guess I am that petty.
- Hmm.
[TRIUMPHANT INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYS ON TV]
[INDISTINCT ANNOUNCER ON TV CONTINUES]
[WOUND HISSING]
[GASPING]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[NERVOUS PANTING]
[SINISTER MUSIC PLAYING]
[SHREDDER WHIRRING STOPS]
[SUCKS LOUDLY THROUGH STRAW]
[ANNIE] This is fucking insane.
You can't actually mean this.
I'm sorry. Who let you in?
Bedroom window.
This used to be my place.
[SIGHS] Yeah, I got to say,
I really hate what you've done with it.
You know, when I said, "Debate me",
this wasn't what I had in mind.
Why me? What have I done
to make you hate me so much?
You really don't remember me, do you?
Of course. I mean, why would you?
We were only on the same pageant circuit
together for three fuckin' years.
'Course I was going by "Sparkler"
back in those days.
Sparkler.
Yeah, right. You, um,
- sang that "God Bless America" medley.
- [SCOFFS]
I practiced that routine
so fuckin' hard.
Never mind we were too poor to have
a backyard to practice in, but
I'd dream that one day,
I'd get good enough to win.
Miami-Dade.
Down to you and me, the finals.
And my mom starts doing my makeup,
and I notice that everyone is
snickering at me.
You remember why?
Turns out you told everyone that I had
an ass-fuck gangbang with the judges,
which was the only way trash like me
could ever make it to the final.
I was 13 years old.
And when I went to you
to ask you "Why?"
you remember what you said?
Look, I was immature and stupid,
and my mom taught me to be ruthless.
Do you remember what you said?
I said that [SIGHS]
"I don't talk to fat sluts".
And then, not long after that,
I had to quit the pageant circuit,
'cause well, a rumor like that,
it really follows you around.
And the more you deny it,
- the more they believe it.
- I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
It was so fucked up,
and it was so wrong.
[SLOW, HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING]
I was jealous. But I'm
not that person anymore.
People don't change.
And everybody thinks
that you're so decent,
so pretty and perfect.
Hell, you fucking think you're
better than everybody else.
- That's not true.
- You're damn fucking right it's not.
All that dove, pure angel bullshit?
No, I see the conniving little
mean-girl bitch in there.
And when I'm done, the rest
of the world's gonna see it, too.
[JARRING, MENACING MUSIC PLAYING]
[LOUD CLACK]
[GENTLE, UPBEA
INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]
Here's your peppermint latte.
Why, thank you.
- Happy holidays!
- Excuse me?
Don't you mean, "Merry Christmas"?
We say "Happy Holidays"
because the holidays
should be for everyone.
But Christmas is for everyone.
It's the most magical day of the year.
[ROUSING SHOWTUNE PLAYS]
Now we can't say "Merry Christmas" ♪
Just "Happy Holidays" ♪
Or maybe just "Season's greetings" ♪
In a million different neutered ways ♪
They've forgotten it's his birthday ♪
And how they came from near and far ♪
They cancelled all the shepherds ♪
The wise men and the star ♪
The Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit ♪
It's the birth of Christ,
he needs to hear it ♪
Let's put the "Christ" back in ♪
- Still no Annie?
- No.
No. Fuck.
Hey, where the fuck is everybody?
- All I got is you?
- Okay, one, thanks.
That's heartwarming. And two,
I don't get it. I mean, Vought On Ice?
This doesn't make any sense.
This is the last place
Vicky would pick for a meet.
I mean, can you just tell me
who your source is already?
[WOMAN OVER P.A.] Okay, skaters,
that's a cut on rehearsal.
A-Train.
- What?
- He says she's meeting Homelander here.
You fucking teamed up with
him and you didn't tell me?
I don't got to tell you shit, Hughie.
I made the call and it paid off.
How do you know this isn't
a trap? We're leaving.
- Right now.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on a second. I'm your
motherfuckin' CO, okay?
Which means you don't get a say.
You do what I say
and you say, "Yes, sir"
as you do it. You got that?
- Do you have that?
- Okay Yeah, fine.
- Yes, sir.
- Good.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh, fuck, it's hot as balls up here.
[GROANING]
You know, I'm, like, six foot three.
Why am I the one in here?
- Hi.
- Hi, Madame Vice President.
Oh, shit.
Shit? What do you mean, shit?
Neuman's here early.
It's okay, she's taking cast photos.
Just stay calm.
But, you know, move your ass.
Okay.
Hey, Zo, come in.
I'm good.
- [CHUCKLES] Teenagers.
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
Okay, thank you.
It's great. Thank you, guys.
Thank you so much.
The show looks great. Good luck.
Hey, Zo. Zo, hey.
Ten minutes, then we'll get frozen
hot chocolate at Serendipity, huh?
Go. Go sit down, okay?
Thanks, guys.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
Okay, Neuman's on the move.
Plant the bug and get the fuck out.
[INHALES SHARPLY]
[METAL CREAKS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
Why is she here?
Sage here is a valued
new member of The Seven.
- Hughie, talk to me.
- [NEUMAN] That's right.
You and Miss Floribama Shore.
You sure know how to pick 'em.
Kid, do you copy?
I picked Firecracker.
She has something
I can't find anywhere else.
And what's that?
She can destroy Starlight.
[NEUMAN] A lot of effort
for a petty rivalry.
[SAGE] Starlight's just the first
pebble down the mountain.
Soon, it's an avalanche.
Well, that's not creepy or ominous
at all. What does that mean?
We're just clearing
the way for you, boo.
We'll handle Singer
after the election's certified.
After all, you can't just pop his top.
You need plausible deniability
when the 25th is invoked.
And in return?
You disband the Bureau
of Superhuman Affairs.
Condemn the "Defund the Supes" movement,
remove all books and teachers
that teach Critical Supe Theory.
A hero in every town,
with legal authority over the police.
Then, when you get in the Oval,
you show the world who you really are.
You want me to come out?
As a Supe?
No fucking way.
Singer and the military are
joined at the dick tip.
What happens when they
send in soldiers, which they will?
Vicky [SIGHS]
Why do you want to be president?
What, just some unchecked
lust for power,
or are you still trying to fucking
prove something to Daddy Stan?
He really did a fucking number
on you, didn't he?
I mean, look at you.
You hate yourself,
you're ashamed of yourself,
and you should be proud.
We all should. And what about Zoe?
Do you want her to hate herself
as well? Be ashamed of herself?
That's what this is about.
We have to do better for them.
So what kind of example are you setting
by staying in the closet?
[EXHALES]
[SNIFFS]
Heed these words, my people ♪
For I was born this day ♪
You can't let them ♪
It's Hugh fucking Campbell.
I can smell him.
No, wait, you kill Hughie,
his team outs me as a Supe.
Good, about time.
Now listen to God's only son ♪
The war on Christmas has begun ♪
[INDISTINCT SINGING CONTINUES]
- [PANTS NERVOUSLY]
- Fuck.
[GROWLS]
Angels sing ♪
Let's put the Christ
back in Christmas ♪
Raises our voices loud ♪
Put the Christ back in Christmas ♪
- Let's make Jesus proud ♪
- Jesus proud ♪
Every Muslim, Hebrew,
Sikh or Jew, you can ♪
Come on!
You know so well ♪
- [SCREAMING]
- [CLAMORING]
Go! Get the fuck out of here!
Get out of the way!
- [SCREAMS]
- Oh, fuck!
Oh, fuck!
[SOARING, TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[SCREAMING]
Time to go.
[CHOKING]
[EXHALES]
[SHOUTS]
[SCREAMING]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
Why'd you do that?
[SONIC BOOM]
Wow.
Looks like you two had
an even shittier day than me.
When I was a boy
and my papa brought home prostitutes,
he'd draw me a bath
and tell me to stay in it
till he was done.
I sat in lukewarm water,
listening to their grunts.
- Oh, God. That sounds terrible.
- [LAUGHS]
My fingers turned into prunes.
But for that hour, I had no choice.
All I could do was stay in that bath.
And that was so nice.
"Man is condemned to be free
because once thrown into this world,
he is responsible for
everything he does".
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]
It was a lot easier shitting
on Vought's decisions,
and my mom's decisions,
and everyone's decisions,
than making my own.
- [SIGHS]
- [FRENCHIE] Do you ever miss it?
Your choices all made for you?
Uh
Pretty sure Hughie has
some weed in his desk.
I'm gonna
Enough.
- Something's going on with you.
- Why?
Because I took a few pills,
like I've done every day of my life?
Rehab was working,
I don't know if it's Colin or what,
- but something's wrong.
- I'm fine.
You don't have to worry
about me, mon coeur.
Really.
All the times you've helped me,
let me help you.
Talk to me.
What if it's not your business?
We are not joined at the hip.
We don't have to tell
each other everything.
Or do you want to tell me
who was that girl was back there
in the warehouse, with the scars?
Huh?
We cannot solve each other's problems.
Now, excusez-moi, I'm gonna get high.
A massive electrical fire
broke out this afternoon
at VoughtCoin Arena
during a tech rehearsal
for Vought on Ice's holiday show,
delaying all concerts, sporting events
and live entertainment
till further notice.
[HUGHIE SIGHS]
Hey. Um, how is he?
He's the same.
[SIGHS]
Look, um, my plan was to come in here,
you know, fight you bloody
over Dad, but, um
I have had a day,
and I think what I really just
want to know right now is, um, why?
Why what?
Why'd you leave?
How you know, how could you leave me?
Mm.
[CLEARS THROAT]
I was, uh
- 22 when I had you.
- Mm-hmm.
[CHUCKLES] Oh, those dimples.
But I was depressed.
Postpartum.
Uh
You know, people think depression,
they think, "Oh, so
you're sleepy, so what?"
But it's not like that.
It it's painful.
It hurts.
My friends all said, "Give it
a month, six months, a year",
but it-it never went away.
But you were always so fun.
We'd have dance parties.
I never wanted you to see it.
But getting dressed was like
climbing Everest.
And so, one night, I just took
40 Ambien and tried to kill myself.
Thank God I threw them up in the toilet.
So the next day, I
took you to school, and I left.
I didn't want to, but
it was life or death for me.
I didn't know that.
Why would you?
You, um
you never called.
I tried.
But your dad was so hurt, and-and
he didn't want me to confuse you.
So, eventually, I just stopped.
I thought, you know, maybe
I wasn't cut out to be a parent.
And I know you've
spent a lot of your life
hating me and thinking I'm the villain,
and I would never ask
for your forgiveness.
But I'm really sorry, Hughie,
that I hurt you.
[SIGHS] I was just fucked up, you know?
Like
everyone.
I don't know.
[KESSLER] You think that carfentanil
was easy to score?
Why didn't you give him
the fucking cookie?
Boy wants to keep talking.
We don't got to kidnap him. We
can just fucking ease him into it.
And who has time for that?
You? How long before you drop dead?
Hi. CIA. I can find a medical file.
The whole world is about to burn,
- Billy, we need the kid.
- Need the kid?
I fucking told you, we ain't turning him
into an asset. He ain't ready.
By the time he's ready,
it'll be too late.
Everything will be burnt down.
You asked me
if I could train up my boy.
You're damn right I could.
And if he died, I would
cry at his funeral,
but I would be proud of him
for saving the fucking world.
Jesus Christ, Joe, he's 12 years old.
And if he takes after his dad?
Either we figure out how to train him
or we figure out how to kill him.
[TENSE, DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
You look fat.
Why are you sticking out
all in the gut area?
[CHUCKLES]
- [BRIDE ON TV] Do I look pregnant?
- Yes.
[DOOR OPENS]
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- Hey, smartass.
Where do you get off?
Crime Analytics was my department.
My angelfish and I had
a great thing going.
And I had nothing to do with that leak.
- I know.
- I wasn't even
What is that? Is that a
Bloomin' Onion from Outback?
Yeah. You want some?
Yeah.
Mm.
Mmm.
- It's good.
- [CHUCKLES] I know.
Are you doing okay?
- It's a tough day.
- Mm.
Hey.
You want to watch Transformers 2?
The one with the-the racist robots?
[CHUCKLES] It's funny you mention that.
Shia's actually a good buddy of mine.
He wants me to be
in Honey Boy 2. [CHUCKLES]
Script just isn't there yet, though.
Oh, yeah. That's tough.
You know, at first, I kind
of thought you were a bitch,
but you're actually pretty fucking cool.
- You're hot.
- You're totally fucking hot.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- You like that?
- Yes.
Oh, don't tease me like that.
- Like that? Ah.
- Mm
Oh
[PASSIONATE MOANING]
[DOOR OPENS, SHUTS]
- Where have you been?
- Sorry.
I flew to Coney Island
to get those hot dogs.
You're lying.
No, I'm not.
You've been at William Butcher's.
I can smell him on you.
I wanted to see him.
[SCOFFS]
He's going through a tough time.
Why do you care
when you have everything here?
You have a home, you have a father.
I've given you everything
that I ever wanted,
and it's still not good enough for you.
Why?!
You're ungrateful.
You go behind my back. You lie to me.
Why?
[EXCLAIMS]
Why am I not good enough for you?
[STAMMERS] No, I
It's just Butcher
Butcher. You know what?
If you love him so much, why
don't you get him to be your dad?
No, I don't want him to be my dad.
- You're my
- Enough!
Enough!
[GROANS]
Aw, fuck.
Fuck.
[HOMELANDER REFLECTION 1] John?
John.
Come here.
John, come here.
You really made a mess this time, tiger.
Come on, champ, pull yourself together.
Deep breath.
For God's sakes, look at you.
A few Starlighters hate you, Ryan
spends some time with Butcher,
and, aw, boo-hoo, you're a fucking mess.
You have to be stronger, John. For Ryan.
You still need love.
- You're pushing him away.
- So much love.
- You still crave it.
- No, that's not true.
You're gonna make him weak
and needy, like you.
You can still fix things. He's your son.
He hates you. He's gonna turn on you.
- Your blood.
- Everyone hates you.
Shh. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
It's time to overcome
this need for love,
this sickness, once and for all.
You're never gonna be your true self
until you transcend your humanity.
What do I do?
[REFLECTIONS] You need
to go back to the start.
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
[HOMELANDER REFLECTION 1]
John, you need to go home.
Let's put the Christ
back in Christmas ♪
Raise our voices loud ♪
Put the Christ back in Christmas ♪
Let's make Jesus proud ♪
'Cause Christmas is for everyone ♪
As long as you believe
in God's true son ♪
Shout it out for all to hear ♪
Put the Christ back in Christmas ♪
This year ♪
♪
Heed these words, my people ♪
For I was born this day ♪
You can't let them forget me ♪
For a fat man and his sleigh ♪
Gotta listen to God's only son ♪
The war on Christmas has begun ♪
Whatever the hell
the woke mob brings ♪
Hark, my herald angels, sing ♪
Hark, his herald angels sing ♪
Let's put the Christ
back in Christmas ♪
- Raise our voices loud ♪
- Raise our voices loud ♪
Put the Christ back in Christmas ♪
- Let's make Jesus proud ♪
- Let's make Jesus proud ♪
Every Muslim, Hindu, Sikh or Jew ♪
You can celebrate Christmas, too ♪
So say his name you know so well ♪
That way you won't burn in hell ♪
Put the Christ back in Christmas ♪
Put the Christ back in Christmas ♪
Put the Christ back in Christmas ♪
This year ♪
Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
Oh, oh ♪
[MAN] Amen, Jesus!