The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (2016) s02e07 Episode Script

1
Good. Now, it won't fall apart out there.
It doesn't really matter
if it floats or not.
As long as I'm there, it will float.
Okay. Just in case,
I'll have to prepare for that too.
Isn't that Saiko?
He's a mess.
He hasn't eaten in two days.
Well, it was only one day since
I technically rewound his body by one day.
It's more a psychological issue
than biological.
That was quick, Nendo
Saiko! Why are you here?
You're ready to eat now? Eat up then!
-Nendo is just
-Don't get the wrong idea, peons.
I came to return these.
CABBAGE JIRO
I'm not so starving that I need your pity.
What?
I found these in four different spots.
Everyone pitched in.
We all left the same cabbage snack.
I don't need your help.
Stop being so stubborn!
You're saying you'd rather die?
No, but you're right, I am being stubborn.
What?
The boat you were on was in maintenance.
But I stubbornly chose that ship.
That's why this happened!
You want me to abandon my principles
when things get tough for me?
That's not how Metori Saiko does things!
In maintenance?
Yes, that's what caused the accident.
I'll apologize later.
So Saiko feels responsible.
Okay, we won't bring it up again.
Good.
Because I'm going to force it down
your throat instead!
What are you doing? Stop it.
You're too weak from hunger.
The ramen is done.
You're not the only one
feeling responsible!
We're the ones who planned this trip!
It's our responsibility
to get everyone home safely!
You want to see who can be more stubborn?
Then beg me to eat.
-Please eat!
-Please eat!
Here.
This is instant ramen?
You've never had it before?
It's really good.
It's disgusting.
You're supposed to say it's delicious!
SHIPWRECKED - DAY THREE
Now work, peons.
We're going to finish this today.
Chin peon and god of peons,
stop cutting wood, start building.
-And you
-You help too!
I'm supervising.
I keep things moving along efficiently.
You just want it easy!
You want me to help?
Then get on your knees
and beg for my help.
We don't need your help!
SAW SAW
It's going so much faster
ever since Saiko showed up.
You're right.
I'm just glad that Saiko decided
to come back and help.
My plan with the cabbage snack
must have worked.
I wonder what changed his mind.
It was my cabbage snack.
We couldn't leave only him out of it.
Everyone is finally on the same page now.
We should get this part done today.
So much has happened
since we got to this island.
I had to come up with a plan
to get us back to Japan
while dealing with one crisis
after another.
These last six episodes,
I mean last three days, have been tough.
But that will end
when we finish this raft.
-Bring that over.
-Okay.
Once we all get on the raft,
I'll teleport us out
when we lose sight of land.
I'll be able to get us home
without anyone noticing.
By the way,
who will ride on the raft?
What? All of us will.
Why does everyone need to go?
What?
Are you saying you want
to leave someone behind?
Calm down, Nendo!
You've got to be kidding me!
How could you even say that?
We all worked hard together
to get this far.
That's not what I mean.
The people on the raft can send help back
once they're rescued.
And what if help reaches the island first
while we're all on the raft?
Leaving a group in both places
ensures our odds.
I get it! You're smart.
You're right.
We don't need everyone to go.
I wonder why we thought we all had to go.
We just need someone to call for help.
Great thinking!
How did you not realize it?
Good grief. He figured it out.
They must decide who will go on the raft
and who will be left behind.
This will decide the fate of everyone.
Oh, well. Let's get some lunch!
We can decide who will go later!
I agree!
This is pretty good.
You don't need to eat that, Mera.
There's more.
That's okay. Do you want some?
No. Maybe next time.
Now, let's talk about
who will ride on the raft.
So, is there anyone who wants to go?
SILENCE
That's not surprising.
It's clearly safer to stay on the island.
Nobody is going to volunteer.
Me!
I want to go on the raft!
Except that idiot.
Then, you're definitely on, Nendo.
Yes! Yes!
Well, us men should probably go.
I don't mind going.
How about all the guys go to be fair?
Three people should be enough
to be left behind.
No, that's too many people on the raft.
Weight will be an issue.
You only need four people on the raft.
So I'll stay.
You just want to stay
together with the girls!
This way, my lineage is protected
if you don't make it back.
If anyone's DNA should survive,
it would be mine.
You're going with us!
Then what?
We don't need five people on the raft,
and the girls won't be safe.
They've got Mera. She's a beast.
Wait! I forgot to mention
that I'd rather be on the raft.
Why?
I've caused all of you
so much trouble here,
so I want to give back in some way.
GLOOM
Oh, okay.
Nobody can disagree.
Then there will be more people
on the raft.
Maybe you could stay behind, Kaido?
-Why me?
-Oh, crap!
Why? Well
What's this?
You know, you're weak like a girl,
and you get seasick.
You probably won't be any use on the raft.
Nice cover, but he hates you now.
I'm getting on the raft.
Why?
Shut up, idiot. I'll go.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.
I just really
-Oh, fine! I'll get on too!
-Why?
Perfect, let's go with that.
I don't think so!
This is going nowhere, so I'll decide.
Nendo and Mera take the raft!
You too, Saiko!
Shun gets seasick like Yumehara says,
so you stay on the island.
And then the rest is
RAFT GROUP
There! Done!
ISLAND GROUP
No complaints, right?
Yes, I totally do.
Are you kidding me?
-Why do I have to work?
-Okay, back to work.
We finish this by tonight!
-Yes!
-Good grief.
I'll have to do something.
It's done!
We finished the raft!
BOO-HOO
It's finally done!
All right, now let's see if it floats.
Of course, it floats! Look how cool it is!
Especially that awesome flag. Right?
What? Oh, right.
The flag ruins it.
At first, I thought a raft
was a stupid idea.
But I'm glad we built it.
We were divided at first
when we came to this island.
I was really worried.
But now,
we worked together to build a raft,
and I'm not worried anymore.
I know it's weird to say,
but I'm glad we came to this island.
We learned Aren is
a surprisingly good leader.
Nendo is the same as ever,
but that's pretty amazing
considering our situation.
In fact, I'm certain now
that we're all going to make it!
Nice speech, but that's
a sure sign you're about to die.
You're right, little guy.
Nendo.
I feel like we're all going
to make it too.
"In fact, I'm certain now.
Nendo is the same as ever,
but that's pretty amazing
considering our situation."
Are you making fun of me?
Why are you trying to act all cool?
Obviously, I'm not going to die here!
I hope you do!
Let's eat already. I'm hungry.
Me too.
Now then.
I have my own work to finish tonight.
Everyone got their food and compass?
-Yes.
-Let's go then.
We'll see each other again.
Of course.
Were you always that dirty, Saiki?
What would you expect
after four days here?
Now, let's see if this raft can hold up
to four people.
Here we go.
Nice, it's holding up well!
It's super stable!
We found eight castaways!
That matches our report. Rescue them all.
What?
Do you remember your name?
Who the hell are you? What is this?
-What is this?
-We've rescued them.
Nobody is injured, but they're confused.
-We're saved?
-Get on the boat!
-It looks like it.
-Is anyone injured?
How did they find us?
Even I can't transport a whole island,
unless I break it down
into smaller pieces.
Yes, it's not the same island as before.
It's a replica that I made.
I'm not stupid.
I realized everyone might not
get on the raft.
That's why I was
simultaneously making this replica.
The building of the raft was good cover.
I could move trees and earth
both day and night.
It made it harder for them
to notice any missing trees.
I just had to bring everyone here
after they fell asleep.
-Didn't we check this island before?
-Did it have this many trees?
Anyway, It's over. I can finally go home.
Hey, pal! Let's go home!
They want us all on that boat. Let's go.
No, I'm done with boats.
I'll go home my own way.
Where are you going, pal?
He's here!
Saiki, we heard you got stranded
on a deserted island!
Were you okay?
We were worried!
How did you find food there?
Teruhashi was there too, right?
Right? Right?
Good grief.
We survived four days
on the deserted island.
I thought everything was over.
But what was waiting for me
was far from peaceful.
The story about the eight missing
high school kids attracted attention,
and the media was clamoring
to get a scoop.
Thankfully, Saiko was able to
pressure the media
into dropping the story
before our names were revealed.
-But we couldn't escape rumors at school.
-Saiki, that must have been rough.
-Who spread these rumors?
-I heard all about it, Saiki.
It was a traumatizing experience for us.
Without food, we lost hope.
That's when I suggested we build a raft.
And by some miracle,
eight saws washed ashore.
-For real?
-The culprit.
They say gossip only lasts 75 days,
but I can't wait that long.
Saiki, you were scared
and painted your face?
I need to do something.
"Breaking news!
The eight missing high school kids
were students from our school."
-"These are the eight castaways."
-"Saiko's private boat sunk."
"Kokomi Teruhashi was on the boat?"
"Nasty Saiko family rumors."
"Exclusive interview
with one of the survivors."
-That's what happened?
-Seriously?
That's you, little guy.
What is this ridiculous newspaper?
Give me a break.
I'll need to do something fast.
I must deal with this newspaper and you.
Excuse me.
Aren't you Kusuo Saiki?
I'm Manako Jouten,
a member of the newspaper club.
Could we talk about your experience
on the deserted island?
Newspaper club? So she's the one
who wrote this ridiculous article?
I have nothing to say.
I'd like you to kill the story.
He totally ignored us.
-Take his picture now.
-Okay.
Once he knows how terrifying we are,
he will be dying to cooperate.
THE NEXT DAY
"Two castaways ignored our requests."
"Who are these two?"
"Could they be more than friends?"
"We caught them hugging."
"Seven mysteries about the shipwreck."
"The saws that magically appeared."
"The definitive proof."
"Takahashi spills the truth."
I always wondered
about their relationship.
I had no idea.
This is ridiculous.
-Hey, that's us!
-There they are!
Go away.
NEWSPAPER CLUB
Are you ready for an interview now?
This is what happens
when you don't cooperate, Kusuo Saiki.
You've gone too far.
You shouldn't underestimate us.
Now tell us everything!
I need to get them off my back.
If they're going to publish fake news,
then I guess I'll tell them everything.
Good grief, what a total pain.
After surviving four days
on a deserted island,
Saiko was able to keep the media
from prying more.
TWO CASTAWAYS IGNORED OUR REQUESTS
MANAKO JOUTEN
CLUB MEMBER
But the newspaper club has been
publishing fake stories on us.
They're such a pain.
This is your own fault.
The pen is mightier than the sword.
Ever heard that saying?
Speech is more powerful than any force,
especially in this day and age.
Does it apply here?
The most powerful entity in the school
isn't the karate or judo club.
It's the newspaper club!
Now, tell me everything!
What a pain she is.
If she's going to follow me around
everywhere and write fake news,
it would be better to talk to her.
I have nothing to hide.
Or so I thought.
NEWSPAPER CLUB
-That's a weak story.
-What?
I can't make an article from that.
It would be over in three lines.
The episodes aired for two weeks.
Kaido's story was better.
Because he was lying.
Anything is fine if it's interesting.
Then you shouldn't be a reporter.
Fine, just hand them over then.
-Hand what over?
-Pictures of Kokomi Teruhashi changing.
You were with her for four days after all.
-Are you stupid?
-What?
You didn't take any?
No way! You must have one.
Nobody even had a camera.
How could you miss that?
You're telling me you don't even have
a photo of her while pooping?
Are you stupid?
Are you kidding me right now?
Why didn't you take any?
Why would I? Cut it out, would you.
We were trying not to call attention
to that.
-You're a failure as a journalist!
-What about you?
I would have taken the shot.
Are you stupid too?
So disappointing. You can go.
What a joke. I hope you get shut down.
I figured the quiet one
would have taken it.
What should we do?
Let's do a special on forest girls.
My forest girl folder is ready to go.
I haven't heard that term in a while.
Wait. Forest girl? Good idea.
We can use that.
Even if it's a lie,
it's okay since it's interesting.
THE NEXT DAY
"Breaking news!
Kokomi Teruhashi's island nudes."
"Poop photos leaked"?
"Naughty photos too."
"Her classmate Mr. S tells all!"
"I got it all!"
"What did the camera capture?"
"Teruhashi pooping!"
"Photos will be published next week."
-Seriously? I can't believe it.
-Teruhashi doing that?
Now you've done it.
Is this you, Saiki?
You took sneak photos of her?
Then show
I mean, you're the worst!
-Let me see them!
-I'll confiscate those photos!
-No, I'll make sure they're destroyed.
-No! Give them to me!
-I'll throw them away!
-Stop it.
Teruhashi!
Saiki wouldn't do that.
The newspaper article is a lie.
But they said there were photos.
There can't be.
-Because I didn't.
-What? You didn't?
-It was four days. You would have to
-I didn't.
-Even you have to
-I didn't.
She didn't!
Teruhashi isn't like normal people!
Yes! Of course Teruhashi wouldn't!
They would believe anything.
Good grief. At least that cleared my name.
Now I need to deal with them.
NEWSPAPER CLUB
Perfect! Just great!
Nice buzz!
The whole school is talking
about that article.
Although, Kokomi Teruhashi
managed to quell it a bit.
Just wait until tomorrow's article.
I always suspected
that girl has another side to her.
I won't waste this chance.
Are you really doing this?
I can't back down now.
POW
Now, take it!
Will this really trick anyone?
The poop is a toy.
We'll blur it in the photo.
I even got a wig and an outfit.
You just need to composite the
background from a forest girl photo,
then you have a photo
of Teruhashi pooping.
Now take a photo! Be a real journalist!
Okay.
Now tomorrow's paper
Wait, my wig fell off.
Get it together.
THE NEXT DAY
-Is this for real?
-I can't believe her.
Listen to all that buzz.
The newspaper club is the worst!
They photographed themselves
pooping in their room?
They're perverts.
What is this?
What is this?
This is what real journalism looks like.
MONDAY AUGUST 31
August 31, the most upsetting day
for any student.
Yes, it's the end of summer vacation.
Please, Saiki!
Help us with our homework!
Wait, hear us out, Saiki!
We brought these for you!
Please reconsider.
-Get in.
-Thank you!
-Hey, Saiki!
-Saiki!
-Your homework!
-You're still here?
Copying homework takes time!
Let's start already!
Good grief. Is that any way to ask?
Here, copy it already.
-Oh, thank you!
-Thanks, pal!
Okay, I'm copying everything!
Don't make it too obvious!
Copy around 80 percent at most.
You should keep it under ten percent.
At least my picture diary is done.
Picture diary?
What is it, Saiki?
It can't be.
MONTH
DAY
It's blank!
Why do high school students
have this kind of homework?
Thirty-one pages starting from August 1.
You can't finish that in a day.
I'll just use my powers.
But I can't do that in front of them.
I guess this is more important
than our homework.
We don't have a choice.
Yes, go home.
-We'll help!
-No, go home.
How can you help me with my picture diary?
You guys can copy mine.
That won't work, idiot.
There's three of us.
We can mix our stories together
to make something new.
Both of you,
show me your entries on August 1.
I was out riding my motorcycle.
What about you, Nendo?
Here's mine.
Are you eight years old?
Anyway, I'll combine these two.
There!
That's terrible.
I killed someone on day one.
Are you sure about this?
The teacher is not going to check
every entry.
Now, day two!
Aren had a takoyaki party.
Nendo was catching bugs again.
Seriously, are you eight years old?
How can I combine these?
There are not enough keywords.
Since when are you not allowed
to add words?
Takoyaki and bugs.
Let's see. "I met an old pal."
I guess this works.
No, it doesn't.
Stupid Takashi is eating bugs!
He must love them!
Stop playing around.
Let me do the next one.
This is my third day.
I see.
This is mine.
What kind of picture is that?
Done!
Let me see.
The wind blew yakisoba,
stinking the shaved ice.
The whole world stank!
They're just playing around.
Let's make a normal entry here.
All lies would look suspicious.
You made some fun memories,
didn't you, Saiki?
Like playing with fireworks
or swimming at the pool?
Not really.
Come on. It can be anything.
The beach or a festival or
I told you, I didn't do anything.
I basically stayed home.
I went to my grandparents once.
The rest of the summer, I relaxed at home.
It was a great summer break.
-So stop looking at me like that.
-Seriously?
-Hey.
-Yeah.
What are you discussing?
Hey, Saiki.
How about we hit the beach?
No, thanks. I remember
how I spent my summer now.
-What?
-You don't have to lie!
You can be honest with us!
Really, I had fun.
I'll show you proof.
Where are you going, Saiki?
Good grief.
Why can't they understand
that some people prefer being alone?
What a pain.
Teleport!
Heave-ho! Heave-ho!
-Next!
-Heave-ho! Heave-ho!
Next!
OISO, KANAGAWA PREFECTURE
Next!
AWAJI ISLAND, HYOGO PREFECTURE
Next!
YAKUSHIMA,
KAGOSHIMA PREFECTURE
Next! Are you satisfied now?
Awesome!
You did a lot of stuff!
I didn't know you surfed.
I had a memorable summer. Just now.
Good grief, that should do it.
I'll do my own diary, so you
-This festival looks great.
-I missed the beach this year.
-Looking at these pictures is exciting!
-Heave-ho! Heave-ho!
-We shouldn't be here doing homework!
-Heave-ho! Heave-ho!
-What?
-Let's go have fun!
All right! How about it?
We can't end our summer break like this!
Let's end it with a bang!
Of course.
Let's play with fireworks at the beach.
Yes, let's go!
Our distressing island adventure
lasted for two weeks,
so I've been taxed pretty heavily lately.
Next time, we have another
transfer student? How many is that now?
What? She has psychic powers?
And then in my story,
I'll make everyone gasp!
Subtitle translation by Zensho Yamamoto