The Horror of Dolores Roach (2023) s01e05 Episode Script

I Never Don't Find 'Em


[DOLORES] The fuck?
This can't be her.
And you are?
I Oh, yeah. I am the, uh,
"the very model of a
modern major-general."
You must be Dolores Roach.
And you're looking for
Dominic Arfonso.
It's been 16 years, correct?
No, I'm sorry, there's no problem.
Um, you're just not
You're not what I expected, that's a
- Is this your cover? You're an usher?
- It's my passion.
Which, the Broadway
thing or the other thing?
Well, if I answered that,
I wouldn't be good at either, would I?
I don't know.
You're not exactly the
doe-eyed damsel in distress
Tabitha said you were.
What were you in for?
Uh, possession with
intent and assaulting a cop.
Possession of?
- Weed. Just weed.
- You a drug dealer?
No. I-I was a dr
I was. I worked for Dominic,
the guy that I want you to find.
No can do.
I got a policy, no drug dealers.
- What? Wait, are you serious?
- That kind of hunting,
you end up with a hole in your head.
Or worse, you end up working for them.
- No can do.
- Yeah, but Tabitha said
I said I'd meet with you.
I didn't promise anything.
You chase murderers on the run,
but you draw the line
- at drugs?
- A policy's a policy.
Good luck to you.
Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry. Please.
I have to find him, okay?
He set me up, and I lost
16 years of my life because of
that cocksucker motherfucker.
And I don't know how to move on until
Till you what? Kill him?
This is not my first rodeo, honey.
You don't need me, you need a shrink.
A good one.
Yeah, but Tabitha said
that she helped you out
back in the day, right?
When you guys were locked up together,
something about smuggling things.
That was 20 years ago.
Yeah, well, Dominic fucked
me up 16 years ago, right?
But this shit has consequences,
and it lingers.
All right.
But you tell Tabitha,
after this, we're square.
Really? Okay, I will. Thank you.
I know I look cute,
but I'll fuck you up,
and you won't even see me coming.
I believe you. I do.
All right. Give me two weeks.
[DOLORES] Two weeks.
Two weeks.
Only two weeks.
Hey, Dolores.
- Jeremiah.
- Surprise, surprise.
The hell are What,
you deliver around here?
Or are you following me?
Yeah, you got me.
I deliver all over the city.
I'm heading uptown next.
- You want a lift?
- Yeah.
Hop on in.
[JEREMIAH] So, um,
- how're you settling in?
- Ah, uh
You've been back, what,
a couple of weeks already?
Yeah, just-just a couple weeks.
Yeah, I, uh
already killed two people.
I spoke to an admissions
person at Hudson
a few days ago about
going back to school.
- That's great.
- Yeah.
And I got a
cannibal I'm pretty sure
is in love with me.
a vision board.
Or, I had a vision board.
Oh, you're serious?
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, I'm serious.
It was Nellie's idea, but,
you know, I'm just
just trying to pick up
the pieces, you know?
That I do. Just remember, though,
when you're pulling those images,
be careful, because
you're being tracked.
You know, the NSA has a file
on each and every one of us.
You use a VPN, right?
I mean, I'm just, like,
cutting stuff out of magazines,
- so, yeah.
- [LAUGHS] Oh, then you're good.
- Hey.
- Ah, geez!
- Oh, my God.
- Damn.
People in this city drive like maniacs.
You all right?
Yeah, I'm Yeah, I'm good.
- [JEREMIAH] Dolores?
- [DOLORES] Mm-hmm?
You never answered my question yesterday
about where Luis is
getting his meat from?
'Cause I mean, business
business is picking up,
like, out of nowhere.
Yeah, man, I don't
It's just, when I promised Ariel
that I'd look after his kid,
that wasn't some kind of
quid pro quo kind of thing.
Whyever Luis felt he
needed to make a change,
he could've at least had a conversation
with me about it first.
Calling him, like, four times,
and he ain't return my calls, I
I don't know what I did wrong.
- You have any ideas?
- No. Nope, nope. Don't. No.
Well. [SCOFFS] You know, I don't know.
I don't want to drag you
into the middle of it.
Thanks for listening.
You're not getting out?
No deliveries here today.
- I thought you said you had to deliver
- No.
All right.
Thank you for the ride.
I'll see you.
See you.
Is this guy on to me,
or just a little nuts?
Or both?
Hey, yo. [CHUCKLES]
I been missing you.
So you a fancy fucking
masseuse now, huh?
That's hot.
Maybe I could get one of those.
[DOLORES] Stupid Fatfuck's
probably eating his own boss.
Mm, yeah. Try making an appointment.
Muy Loca.
The new meaner, leaner version
of our signature empanadas,
and baby, that flavor just
keep hitting you in the mouth
like you owe it a coin.
Oh, yes, please grab some.
Try some, try some. Great, thank you.
You know, I had a friend
come over last week,
and she's pregnant,
and let me tell you
[DOLORES] Luis didn't waste any time
cooking cunt face into Muy Marcie.
[NELLIE] shit like that,
that means they're enjoying it,
and you know what?
All your kids are gonna love it.
Tell them to go on Instagram,
tell them to go on TikTok.
We want to be viral.
How did you
Find you? It's what I do.
Yeah, that-that was fast, though.
Took the subway.
Yeah, uh, you said two weeks.
Oh, sometimes I get lucky.
Tell you the truth,
this was the easiest job
I ever did in my life.
I never don't find 'em.
You found Dominic?
I think we should talk
someplace more private.
Dominic Arfonso is dead.
How? When?
Fire in the Dominican Republic.
Twelve years ago.
Happened in his family home.
Body was so charred,
he had to be identified by his teeth.
[SIGHS] Yeah, left molar. I remember it.
If it's any consolation,
burning death's supposed to be
real painful.
[DOLORES] I thought I wanted him dead,
but what I really wanted
was to kill him myself.
What do I owe you?
Nothing. Use it for college.
How'd you know about that?
I told you, that's what I do.
it's bloody, but it's Shakespeare.
[DOLORES] Dominic's already
been dead to me for 16 years,
but I thought he'd never actually die,
so what the hell do I do now?
- Hi, Dolores.
- Hi.
- I was just looking for you.
- Yeah?
I think I pulled something in my neck
when I picked my cousin's
kid up this morning,
and I was wondering if you
could work on it for me?
Sorry, it's not a good time, Joy.
Oh, but please? Please?
I need your magic hands.
Just five minutes
I said now's not a good
time. Jesus, Joy.
I can't be making everybody feel better
whenever the fuck they want, all right?
I got a fucking life.
You've been taking bitch
lessons from Bridget?
[DOLORES] Joy didn't deserve that,
but if I put my hands on
a neck right now, I'd snap it.
Oh, did you forget something?
Oh, yeah, one of my co-workers
heard about this place.
Said I'd bring back one
of your special empanadas.
Hey. Uh, is Luis here?
I, um, I wanted to put
one of these in the window,
if that's okay?
One second.
Um Hi.
Yeah. Yeah. We can do better.
Oh, I don't I don't I don't think
Luis is gonna like this.
No, it's gonna distract the customers.
D, that's kind of the point.
Yeah, but-but why here, though?
Isn't it better by your office, right?
That's better?
I got ahold of his
credit card statement,
and the last transaction
was just a few blocks away,
at the Kane 'N Abel's Pizza.
Do you mind?
- You call the cops yet?
- No, not yet.
How come?
Well, he-he might've been into some
Um, my dad's not a bad guy,
he just makes some-some
bad decisions sometimes,
so-so, you know, if I don't have to
- involve the authorities
- I'm Ruthie.
I find people.
[DOLORES] No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
If he's into the kind of
stuff you're implying,
better put me on sooner than too late.
- Put you on?
- Yeah.
You look like a nice kid.
I'll cut you a deal. Thousand bucks.
That's double the reward.
He's not worth a thousand bucks to you?
I never don't find 'em.
Maybe he just wants to wait to see
what happens with the posters, right?
- Yeah?
- Absolutely.
Let's talk somewhere more private.
You know, you want to find
somebody, you call Ruthie.
Ask Dolores. I never don't find 'em.
[DOLORES] Shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit, shit,
Luis, we got a problem.

Luis, are you taking a shower?
Hey, man, I don't have time.
I'm coming in for
I've never seen Luis's bedroom before.
He's a child.
If my life was a horror movie,
I'd be yelling at myself
to not go in.
Meat is meat, flesh is flesh
but you can't eat fake tits.
Mr. Pearlman.
Maybe I didn't chop these people up
but I did this.
I did this.
[LUIS] Aren't you cold?
I like having secrets with you, mami.
That strain is called Mint Cookies.
- It's a nice, sweet sativa
- Not now, man.
- Fuck, not now.
- Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
- This is a good thing, you know?
- Oh
I mean, I was gonna
clean up a little bit before,
but, I mean, now you know everything.
I thought you said
- you got rid of the evidence.
- I did.
I mean, I am, empanada by empanada.
Why are you keeping trophies down here?
This is the safest place to keep it.
Throw it in the river.
No. All that medical junk
they put in our bodies?
Titanium, silicone,
that shit's all traceable,
and it's so harmful to marine life.
Oh, okay, as long as
the fucking dolphins
in the East River are safe,
I guess we're good.
Look, I know this
seems, like, not ideal,
but if anything happens,
if anything at all goes wrong,
this shit is on me.
You had nothing to do with any of this.
You were just, like,
renting out a room from me,
and you don't know a goddamn thing.
Then you better get
your statement ready.
What's that mean?
We got a problem. We got a big problem.
Junior Pearlman's up there,
talking to a P.I.
A P.I.?
A private investigator.
Yeah, I know what a P.I. is, mami,
- but why here?
- He checked the credit card.
The last time the guy used it
was at some pizza place nearby
that puts him in Washington Heights.
Oh, fuck!
Mm. A pizza place?
Are you fucking taking this seriously?
- Of course, I'm taking this seriously.
- I'm not going back to fucking prison, Luis.
I'm telling you right now.
with this sh
Oh, no. Shit. Oh, my God.
- What? What now?
- What the fuck is this?
- [DOLORES] She's fuck
She's talking to Jeremiah. Fuck.
What's he still even doing here?
Jeremiah don't know shit.
He knows you've been buying
less meat from him, genius.
He's been asking me questions.
- [LUIS] He has?
- [DOLORES] Yes.
She's not gonna stop with Jeremiah.
This bitch is gonna do whatever it takes
to find Mr. Pearlman unless
we throw her off the scent,
and I don't know how.
Okay, okay. Hold on, hold on.
I got an idea perforating.
[SCOFFS] You got a line
of holes in your brain,
or you mean "percolating"?
[LUIS] Aha!
Can't be missing
if he's still around. Ah.
Oye, Nellie. ¿Que pasa? Huh?
You don't think nobody
had to watch the shop?
I can see the door from here.
Okay, well, I love that you're helping
our little friend out here, Jo-Jo,
but, you know, he don't pay you.
- I know.
- Okay? In fact,
I got to pay him with the money
we make selling empanadas.
But Jonah needs help.
It's okay, Nellie, if
it's not a good time,
I can finish this myself. Don't worry.
[DOLORES] Fuck me,
she'll see Mr. Pearlman
went in and didn't come out.
Don't worry. Sorry.
But I want to help.
And you should, too.
No, you're not gonna guilt trip me
for trying to make a living, okay?
You haven't been here all day.
Listen, you spend 30 years
building a shop of your own,
then you can make the rules.
Till then, get back inside, okay?
Dolores'll help put up flyers
while I go run to the bank.
Come on. Chop, chop.
Váyase. Let's go.
- Sorry.
- All right.
Don't leave him alone with her.
Okay? I'll be back in no time.
[JONAH] Hey. Any luck?
Her cameras aren't even recording.
But he was in this area, right?
Yeah, I confirmed with
Kane 'N Abel's Pizza.
He was there just over a week ago.
Got any other properties nearby?
[JONAH] No, nearest building
of ours is down on 116th.
I don't know why he'd
be in Washington Heights
except to come here. Unless he,
he met somebody around here?
You know, like
He likes to "meet people"
all over the place,
- if you know what I mean.
- Sex workers?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay.
Give me till tomorrow morning.
- Yeah.
- I never don't find 'em,
and I got a feeling
that he may be a lot
closer than we think.
How you doing, Dolores?
Good. How are you?
[DOLORES] This is some
serious sick fuckery.
So, uh, Nellie?
What's her story?
What do you mean?
Like, is she seeing anybody?
I don't know.
Why, you got somebody for her?
- Yeah, I mean, I kind of meant, uh
Oh, my God.
What? What is it?
- It's him.
- What?
Never mind.
This is some sick fuckery.
Oh, God, he's
he's dealing with some
gambling debt. Again.
"Going off the grid for a while",
Yeah. "Not to worry, kiddo."
That's what he calls me,
when he calls me anything at all.
"Be back in a few weeks."
- Good thing I didn't call the cops.
- Yeah, it's a good thing.
Guess this means I
should call off Ruthie, huh?
Yeah, you know what?
You should definitely call her off.
Call Ruthie off.

I convinced myself Dominic
was protecting me
but he was just protecting himself.
Huh? I thought his family was from
May I?
Yeah, of course.
I went all the way down to Gowanus.
In Brooklyn?
Made some calls out there,
sent some texts from his phone,
so when she tracks the signal,
it won't be anywhere near us.
She might not track the signal.
Jonah called the whole thing off.
- He bought it?
- He did.
At least for now, but yeah.
He did.
Holy shit.
Oh, holy shit.
You did good, man.
Holy shit. Oh, my God.
This buys us some time.
And, Dolores, listen.
You got to know,
I meant everything I said earlier.
At whatever point some shit goes down,
I got you.
This was all on me, you're
Luis, that's sweet of you.
But you can't guarantee
that it's not gonna
come back to me, right?
I'm the one in the system,
I'm the one out here,
fucking "Magic Hands."
I wouldn't let you take it alone.
We're in this together, okay?
I swear to God, mami,
whatever I got to do,
I'll do.
I'm here to protect you.
Okay, I'll be the one.

Oh, it's been a minute since I Okay.
Shit, he's good at this.
I didn't think anybody could
be better than Tabitha, but
Ow! Ow.
He bit my thigh.
Oh, I'm sorry, mami, I'm sorry.
- I got a little bit excited.
- Okay.
Oh, shit, Luis.
Shit, Luis.
Holy shit.
Oh, God. Holy shit.
Oh, Dolores.
My favorite flavor.
[DOLORES] Did he just cum on my
Oh wait, that's right. He's a cannibal.
That was
[SIGHS] That was the best
I mean you're the best I ever
You don't have to
I mean [SIGHS]
I haven't been with a
man in a while.
Yeah, I know. I figured.
Women's prison.
I've been dreaming about
that my whole life.
About women's prison?
Nah. Nah.
Nah, nah, nah.
Nah, about you.
Oh, man.
Nobody's ever done anything
like that for me before.
I thought Tabitha
No, no, not
In there
with them.
I told you, mami.
I would do anything for you.
I meant that.
Sure. [SIGHS]
Other people have told me
that, too, you know?
Nah, I'm not Dominic.
Dude's like a pathological liar.
Can't even die with honesty.
I saw that folder.
I know that's why that
P.I. was really here.
Yeah, there ain't no way
that dude died back in '07.
His abuela was still
getting packages from him,
like, three years ago.
How do you know that?
'Cause Sophia and her were real close.
Who's Sophia?
Nellie's grandma.
She's up on the third floor.
Her and Dominic got family
in the same part of the D.R.
In Higüey?
Uh, nah, I think Sosúa.
That's right.
Wait a minute.
This says
"fire in the family home
in Higüey in 2007."
Nah, I'm telling you, D.
If that dude was dead,
his abuela would've made
him a neighborhood saint.
Yeah, but they confirmed
it with his dental records.
[SCOFFS] In the D.R.?
[SCOFFS] Probably didn't
even do an autopsy.
Just some cousin or somebody came by
and said it was him,
and called it a day.
The dude's a shitbag, D.
Fucking mamabicho.
Probably faked his own death
to get away with some shit.
But fuck that dude.
I got your back now,
and and any other part
you want me to get.
But for real,
you got to forget about that dude.
Let me see that.
All right, give me.
you are so beautiful.
We could have a real future together,
Dolores Roach.
It's time to start focusing
on my future again.
I didn't need some nosy P.I.
I just need to go up to the third floor,
and I'll be
one step closer to watching
this motherfucker burn for real.
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