The Jetsons (1962) s01e15 Episode Script

Test Pilot

Meet George Jetson His boy, Elroy Daughter, Judy Jane, his wife Morning, Janey.
Oh, boy, am I starving.
WouId you diaI my breakfast for me? Of course, George.
What wouId you Iike? Oh, ham and eggs, toast and coffee.
Ham, eggs, toast, coffee.
-Here you are, dear.
-Thanks, honey.
Oh, Iooks deIicious.
-George, what's wrong? -You burned the toast again.
Now, don't start teIIing me about your mother's breakfasts.
WeII, it's true.
No one couId diaI a meaI Iike Mother couId.
Oh, George, we need siIverware.
And there's a big saIe at Stears Roebot department store.
Honey, you asked me for $20 yesterday.
Now, what did you do with that? -You didn't give it to me.
-Excuses, excuses.
That's aII I hear.
-Morning, Dad.
-Hi, Pops.
-Dad, you Iook so handsome this morning.
No, Judy.
No money for stereophonic music tapes.
That's teIIing her, Pop.
Money shouId be spent on usefuI things, Iike a new toy space fire engine.
You'II have to make your oId toys do, EIroy.
Gee whiz.
-You'II have to make your oId bones do too.
We won't spend our money on siIIy things.
We've got to think of our oId age.
Oh, boy.
Am I Iate for work.
We'II taIk about this tonight.
What happens if we don't reach an oId age? Then we're stuck with aII that money.
And at present, Professor Lunar of our research staff is working on an indestructibIe garment.
PIease speII ''indestructibIe.
'' Oh, these tin secretaries.
No, that's not right.
'' I-N-D-I.
Oh, just say he's working on a garment that wiII never wear out.
You got that? Signed, C.
Make two copies of-- Jetson! And Iate for work as usuaI.
Time on your hands, Jetson? -Mr.
I-- -We're Iate again, aren't we, Jetson? Oh, are you Iate too? If you don't say anything, neither wiII I, sir.
Jetson, you'd better report for your company insurance physicaI now.
The way I feeI about you, you'd better be insured.
Yes, sir.
I'II take care of your Iateness Iater, after I check on Lunar's progress.
SpaceIy, I've done it! I've done it at Iast! I have invented the indestructibIe jacket.
Nothing can hurt the jacket or the man who wears it.
-And it wiII Iast a Iifetime.
-Good work, professor.
We'II caII it the SpaceIy Iife jacket.
''CogsweII Cogs.
'' It'II soon be CogsweII's Cobwebs.
Oh, with this invention, I'II corner the market.
CogsweII, you're through.
Hey, what's going on? Mr.
CogsweII, I've done it.
I've done it at Iast.
I've invented the indestructibIe jacket.
With this invention, I shaII corner the market.
SpaceIy Sprockets are through.
SpaceIy, you're through.
-They've got the same jacket.
Why, I've spent every minute of the Iast WeII, take a Iook.
Oh, weII.
Easy come, easy go.
We've got to beat CogsweII to the market.
But we have to test the jacket first.
We must get the Good Spacekeeping seaI of approvaI.
Oh, you're right.
We'II give it the toughest tests possibIe.
But we need a test piIot.
Yes, a brave and fearIess man who can Iook death in the eye with a Iaugh.
Yes, a reguIar nut.
Radius, my name's Jetson.
I'm here for the company insurance physicaI.
Yes, you're from SpaceIy Sprockets.
I'II be right with you.
Oh, boy.
He must have had a terribIe accident.
I never saw so many bandages.
It's a genuine mummy, perfect for my research.
Now, Iet's proceed with your examination.
Have you ever taken one of our Peekaboo Prober capsuIes? Peekaboo Prober capsuIes? Nope.
How's it work? You just swaIIow it, and it transmits pictures to a TV screen.
You're gonna teIevise pictures of my insides? That's right.
The Peekaboo capsuIe wiII send back on-the-spot reports of everything.
You ought to pIay some background music Iike: ''Liver, Come Back to Me.
'' -Now, just reIax.
-Or, maybe: ''I Get a Kidney Out of You.
'' How about, ''Lung Ago and Far Away.
'' Yes.
Open your mouth, pIease.
That shouId be easy for you.
Come on now, say: Fire one.
Doctor to Explorer One.
What is your position? Down and down I go, just passing by the Adam's apple.
Let's see it.
Looks okay from here.
Now, here we are at the stomach.
Stand by.
-Do you take piIIs, Jetson? -Yeah.
What's that one piII just Iying there? Oh, that's my wife's idea of breakfast.
-Doctor to Prober.
Where are you? -Going into the lungs.
-How are the Iungs? -Well.
You ever been in Pittsburgh, doc? Let's see the heart.
That's kind of a strange beat, isn't it? Yeah.
Guess the natives are restless tonight.
Now, go up to the brain.
Going up.
I don't see anything.
Neither do I.
Very funny.
Very funny.
Maybe the Iight's bad.
Try a shot from the other side of the head.
On the way.
Full speed ahead.
-Where are you now? -Thought I overshot a little but it's okay.
I'm still in the head.
Now, give me a shot of the brain.
Just have to open this door.
Wow! This is the first time I've been in a haunted head.
-How do things Iook to you? -May I speak freely? What do you think of the patient's condition? Well, if you really want to know: What's that mean, doc? I'm afraid it's just a matter of time, Jetson.
Then: But I'm not ready to: -What can I do? -Get some rest.
-You mean, I shouId be in bed? -You shouId be in a bottIe.
How Iong do I have? Let's just say, if you have anything to do, do it right away.
And hurry.
There is one thing I've been wanting to do.
Lunar, I've offered everything: bonuses, pensions.
-But no one wiII test the Iife jacket.
-I can't understand it.
It's as safe as being in your mother's arms.
I wouId absoIuteIy guarantee it.
Say, why don't you test it? Me? Do you think I'm a nut? Somewhere there must be a man brave enough.
I say, what about Jetson? Jetson? He's a mouse.
Jetson! Just what do you think you're doing? Jetson, you're making me mad.
You're getting hot under the coIIar.
You need cooIing off.
Jetson! I'm going to-- You're going to what? I say, how about that? The mouse is now a man.
-Jetson! -He's just the mouse-- I mean, man, we need.
Oh, yes, of course.
You're right, Lunar.
You don't have to fire me.
I quit.
Fire? WeII, who said anything about firing you? Because you were Iate this morning? Why, you can be Iate for the next 1 0 years.
I'm gonna be Iate, aII right.
The Iate George Jetson.
Leave us, professor.
I have some questions to ask my friend Mr.
See you Iater, interrogator.
WeII, you've changed, Jetson.
I've never seen you Iike this before.
The reaI George Jetson finaIIy stood up.
WeII, wouId the reaI George Jetson care to sit down? Take my chair.
Comfy? -Aren't you mad at me? -Mad? Why shouId I be mad? So you spiIIed a IittIe water on me.
I Iike water.
See? So my head's got a IittIe water on it.
What can I get? Dishpan hair? I'II come to the point, Jetson.
I got a proposition for you.
-OnIy thing, it may be dangerous.
-Danger is my racket.
We'II have to move quickIy.
We don't have much time.
-You're teIIing me.
I'II pay you an extra 50 cents an hour.
And aII you have to do is-- Wait a minute.
-Just as I thought.
CogsweII! -It's not what you think, SpaceIy.
I didn't hear one word of your outrageous offer to Jetson.
But aren't you ashamed, offering him a mere 50 cents per hour extra to risk Iife and Iimb? Jetson, I'II give you 75 cents to test my jacket.
You can't tempt Jetson with money.
Can he? Yep.
Oh, this boy is shrewd.
Shrewd! I want you with me, boy.
I'II doubIe your saIary.
I'II give you a company car.
Jetson, wait.
I'II tripIe your saIary.
And your own key to the executive washroom.
You're too smart for me, Jetson.
I'm putty in your hands.
Look, a $2000 bonus.
Five thousand shares of SpaceIy preferred stock.
And on top of that, a $5000 bonus! There.
He's not gonna part with that, son.
That money hasn't seen the Iight of day in ages.
See that sign? ''CogsweII Cogs.
'' Come with me and it'II read ''CogsweII and Jetson.
'' Stay with me, and we'II make ours ''SpaceIy and Jetson.
'' ''Jetson and SpaceIy''? I'II teII you what.
Let's toss a coin and you can caII it, SpaceIy.
-Two out of three? -No.
Jetson, come with CogsweII Cogs because we are on our way up.
You're on your way down.
I wonder when he had this one instaIIed.
WeIcome back to SpaceIy Sprockets, Jetson.
I've got a simpIe IittIe agreement for you to sign.
If the tests on the jacket work out, this wiII make you a partner.
AII you have to do is sign here and here and here and here and there.
What wiII I teII my wife? She won't Iike this.
Send the famiIy away on a vacation.
And don't worry about money you'II make enough to Iast you the rest of your Iife.
I was hoping to do better than that.
What's mine is yours.
I'II give you everything you need.
-HeIp yourseIf.
Anything in the pIace.
-Thanks, boss.
That's sweII.
Hey, that's my pen.
FamiIy, I suppose you're wondering why I caIIed this meeting.
Astro, here comes another Iecture.
Jane, this morning you wanted to buy some siIverware.
Here, get it in goId.
GoId siIverware? Judy, you wanted some stereophonic tapes.
Go get yourseIf a band.
What can I do for you, EIroy? If I'd known you were fiIIing requests, I'd have brought a Iist.
You wanted a toy space fire engine? Get yourseIf a reaI fire engine.
Might as weII get yourseIf a fire too.
-What about me? -Of course, Astro.
You wanted a bone.
Buy yourseIf a meat market.
But, George, this morning you were taIking about saving for your oId age.
WeII, oId age I'm no Ionger worried about.
I want you and the kids to take a vacation at the Big Dipper Dude Ranch.
-But-- -No buts.
There wiII be nothing to disturb you.
No TV, no newspapers.
You'II have a nice rest.
You've changed, George.
Yeah, more than you know.
This is the day.
The first of a series of dangerous tests for the SpaceIy Iife jacket.
And here's the test piIot himseIf, George Jetson.
And his boss, Mr.
Jetson, I guess you're quite concerned about these tests.
-Well, I-- -I certainly am.
Sure hope nothing happens to that life jacket.
Spacely, your every thought must be with the courageous man who's risking his life for you.
-Who's that? -Your test pilot, Mr.
Oh, him.
I sure am worried about him.
He's wearing my Iife jacket.
Today, they'II test the hydro-resistance factor.
Jetson is tied to the hydro-prop and wiII now go for a IittIe spin.
Anything to say before you hit the water? Yeah.
HoId my cigarette.
The Iife jacket is aII right! And here's the test piIot.
Let's Iisten to his first history-making words since coming out of the water.
Anybody got a toweI? What bravery.
Jetson is about to undergo the force-factor test and he isn't concerned at aII.
Look at that man.
In a moment, 200 tons of force wiII crash down on him, and does he care? How was it, Jetson? This is the first time I've had a jacket pressed whiIe I was wearing it.
-Isn't he cute? -Look at that profiIe.
Oh, he's so brave.
Crazy, mixed-up kids.
They Iove me.
Come on.
Come on.
But, boss, they're pIaying my song.
Oh, come on, Iet's get this test over with fast.
I wanna get back to my fan cIub.
This wiII be the verticaI-horizontaI wearage test.
Watch the countdown.
Nine, eight, seven, six.
I wonder what the test is.
Five, four, three two, one.
That must have been the verticaI.
Here comes the horizontaI.
Not a scratch.
Jetson, if this keeps up, you're gonna be a big man.
-A reaI big man.
-I don't know.
I think I'm getting the short end of the deaI.
Jetson, world hero! From America, comes news that George Jetson has done it again.
This chap is testing some sort of jacket.
They've been doing nasty things to him.
Can't understand what aII the fuss is about.
StyIing's aII wrong for daytime wear.
AII the news from America is about the hero George Jetson.
George, if you were here, I wouId kiss you on both cheeks Iike this: And Iike this: And again.
And again.
And again.
That's aII we have time for, foIks, so good night.
And again.
And again.
Again! Again! Again! Jetson done it again! Besides, we invented it first! Those teeth are awfuI sharp.
What do you care? It's my Iife.
Yeah, but it's my Iife jacket.
Ready? Just a minute.
Cut aIong the dotted Iine.
Oh, this is no time for cIowning.
You ready? -Let her rip.
-Don't say that! Ready for the thermoeIectric resistance test? -Ready.
-Wait! Wait! HoId this whiIe I throw the switch.
I say, it's a success! -What's this for? -For Iunch.
What eIse? Look at that! Boy, $ 1 0 biIIion worth of advance orders.
After the big test tomorrow, we'II get the Good Spacekeeping seaI of approvaI.
Cheer up, partner.
The way you're going, you'II have money to burn.
I was hoping to go in the other direction.
This is the finaI test, foIks.
Jetson wiII be raised three miIes and then dropped by parachute.
During his descent, two missiIes traveIing at 20,000 miIes per hour wiII crash into the suit simuItaneousIy.
Frightened? Me? I wish these tests couId go on forever.
PIease, Iet me through.
I must see that man.
-Remember me? -Sure.
You toId me I was going to: -It was a mistake.
-I'm not going to: -Not even: -No.
You're compIeteIy heaIthy.
You shouId Iive to be 1 50.
Thank heavens.
Do you have anything to say, Mr.
Jetson? Yes.
HeIp! PIease, Mr.
SpaceIy, don't Iaunch those missiIes! I've got 1 1 0 good years ahead of me! They missed him.
Poor Jetson must be disappointed.
But he needn't be.
Those missiIes never give up.
Something's wrong.
Jetson appears to be tangIed in his chute.
Oh, no.
Two of them.
-What nerve.
-UnbeIievabIe! And to my son, EIroy, I Ieave my fishing poIe and the bowIing baII he's aIways wanted.
And to my wife, Jane, and my daughter, Judy I Ieave aII my money and vaIuabIes.
This is George Jetson, signing off.
The missiIes are converging on Jetson.
They're about to crash.
He's okay! Jetson's okay! OnIy a few smudges.
The jacket's a success.
SpaceIy, I'm not going through with this.
I thought I was gonna: I'II bet you're sorry the tests are over.
Over? Honest? The tests are over, and I'm stiII here? You've done it, Jetson.
You've done it.
I'II announce your new position as vice president at the banquet tonight.
George, won't you even teII us what this banquet is aII about? -You'II find out about it tonight.
-But aII the money we've been spending.
AIIowing the chiIdren and me to buy whatever we want? Don't worry your pretty head.
There wiII be pIenty more.
Our ship has finaIIy come in.
Good evening, George, Jane.
Get in the Iife jacket.
We don't wanna be Iate.
-Jane, where is the jacket I Ieft here? -Oh, that.
I'II get it.
This is it, partner.
Tomorrow, SpaceIy and Jetson becomes a househoId word.
Excuse me.
Jetson and SpaceIy.
It Iooked soiIed, so I put it in the washing machine.
WeII, mighty thoughtfuI of you, Jane.
Just think, this IittIe jacket made it aII possibIe.
Oh, no! It must have faIIen apart in the washing machine.
It was hit by Iightning, missiIes! It was indestructibIe! But it isn't washabIe.
We shouId've put a IabeI on it: ''dry-cIean onIy.
'' Oh, aII my dreams, my miIIions, gone.
I'm broke.
Ruined! You mean, SpaceIy Sprockets is out of business? -Yes.
-Excuse me.
Now hear this! Everything-- Everything you aII bought goes back to the store.
But, George, you said our ship had come in.
It sunk! Jetson, where are you going? To CogsweII Cogs to see about a job.
You mean, you'd work for CogsweII after aII this? You'd forget your pride and go crawIing to him for a job? You'd do that for a few measIy doIIars a week? Wait for me, Jetson! I'II go with you! HeIp! HeIp! Jane, stop this crazy thing! Jane! HeIp! Jane!