The Jetsons (1962) s01e21 Episode Script

Private Property

Meet George Jetson His boy, Elroy Daughter, Judy Jane, his wife Okay, hoId it, Mac.
Steady! Steady! A IittIe more to the right.
Now to the Ieft.
That's it! Take it away! Miss Asteroid, what's going on out there? Who's making all that racket? It's just a buiIding going up next door, Mr.
SpaceIy.
Sounds more Iike a buiIding coming down.
Someone bought that empty Iot next door.
WeII, one good thing about this.
Nobody couId sIeep through this racket.
Not even Jetson.
Jetson.
Jetson.
-Jetson! -What? What? Oh, hi, boss.
Don't ''hi, boss'' me.
Why don't you just move a bed in here.
Huh? Oh, where wouId be put it? It's pretty crowded aIready.
It'II be Iess crowded after you're fired.
Now get to work and start pushing some buttons.
Or are you trying to Iet that bIowhard CogsweII catch up with us? Oh, never, Mr.
SpaceIy.
I wonder who's putting up that buiIding next door.
WeII, I'II say this for the buiIder, he's getting the job done fast.
Yes, sirree.
Not Iike back in the oId days when it took them a week to put up a buiIding.
Hey, Iook, boss.
They're putting up the sign.
Now we'II find out who our neighbors are.
''S-G-O-C.
'' ''Sgoc''? WeII, what kind of a word is that? Maybe it's a foreign company.
''SIIews Goc.
'' Must be a new product.
Don't be ridicuIous, Jetson.
''Sgoc SIIewgoc.
'' ''CogsweII Cogs.
'' Oh, it wasn't foreign after aII.
CogsweII Cogs? Why, that buiIding beIongs to CogsweII.
He's moving next door so he can spy on us.
No wonder his buiIding is so cIose.
Get to work, Jetson, and no more goofing off! Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Oh, he's gone.
Oh, boy.
What a sIave driver.
Jetson! Caught you again.
Now, stop goofing off on my time! Your time! Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Oh, boy.
One SpaceIy is enough, but six are positiveIy sickening.
Yes? Yes, Miss Sunspot? A Mr.
Spacely is on his way in, Mr.
Cogswell.
I am busy! I tried to tell him, but he just kept going.
You're darn right, I kept going.
What are you trying to puII? WeII, if it isn't the ex-king of sprockets.
What do you mean, ''ex''? CogsweII's crummy cogs never saw the day they couId compete with my sprockets! SpaceIy! You've stiII got one chance.
Sign a merger agreement and I'II find some minor pIace for you in my organization.
-Never! -Better sign! Otherwise, you'II be out of business so fast your head wiII spin.
You mean Iike this.
No, I mean more Iike this.
Stick around if you want some more Iumps.
MeanwhiIe, you better sign.
-Never! -In that case sorry to see you Ieave.
Hey! Let me out of here! If you insist.
Jetson, we've got to keep CogsweII from snooping on us.
Here's a bIueprint of our property and CogsweII's.
See if we can put up a 1 0-story fence to keep him from spying on us.
Any questions? Just one, boss.
How do you read a bIueprint? You got the whoIe night to Iearn.
-I want them back tomorrow.
-But, but-- -But-- -That's a funny way to resign, Jetson.
But I've got tickets.
After three years, I finaIIy managed to get two seats for My Space Lady.
-No? -Yeah.
WeII, that's different, my boy.
Here.
Sit down.
Have a cigar? ComfortabIe? Good, good.
That's fine.
Yes, sirree.
Mrs.
SpaceIy is going to be very happy when I teII her.
-TeII her what? -That you're Ietting us have your tickets.
After aII, you won't need them.
Can't work on a bIueprint whiIe watching a show.
CouIdn't I work on them after the show? In other words, you put your amusement ahead of your job? Oh, every time.
No! No, sir! I mean-- No, sir.
I didn't think so.
Give me the tickets.
-Yes, sir.
-Jetson you've got the kind of empIoyee IoyaIty that's going to carry you far.
And right now, it's going to carry you back to work! That oId ticket taker! How am I ever going to teII Janey? She's been Iooking forward to that show for months.
What are you wearing to the show tonight? WeII, Judy, I can't make up my mind, dear.
Why don't we run the dress seIector.
-I guess I better.
-I'II do it.
Thanks, dear.
Ready, Mother? Oh, we need the facsimiIe image.
It's the second button from the top, Judy.
AII right.
Turn on the dress seIector.
No, not this one.
EarIy gaIaxy simpIy isn't in vogue this season.
Oh! Isn't that a Christian Diorbit, Mother? Yes, but I wore it at the baIIet Iast month.
That one is perfect for the theater! Moon Bechet.
It is stunning, isn't it? SensationaI, Mom! Hi, everybody.
I'm home.
Oh, now, cut it out, Astro! Cut it out! Oh, Daddy, you've made him cry! Oh, I'm sorry, Astro.
That's aII right, George.
This is what I'm wearing to My Space Lady tonight, George.
Like it? -Why don't you ask Mr.
SpaceIy.
-What? Jane, I don't know how to teII you this.
George, is something wrong? WeII, for goodness' sake, just teII me.
I'm your wife.
Whatever it is, we'II take it in stride together.
After aII, I'm no chiId.
-You won't be mad? -Of course not.
I'm a mature woman.
WeII, I have to work on these bIueprints tonight, so we can't see My Space Lady.
Now, Iet me see.
A 1 0-story waII running between the buiIdings.
-Hi, Pop.
-Hi, EIroy.
-What you doing, Dad? -Working.
What are you doing out of bed? How come you're wearing space shoes in the house? You know better.
I'm sorry, Dad.
-Hey, what's this? -A bIueprint of SpaceIy's buiIdings.
And this? That's where CogsweII has put up a buiIding right next door.
Oh.
Now, what's this dotted Iine? -That's the property Iine, I guess.
-Gee.
It runs right through CogsweII's buiIding.
Doesn't it? WeII, on paper, but if, if, if-- What did you say? The property Iine runs through CogsweII's buiIding? WeII, doesn't it? It does.
It does.
It does! Yahoo! Janey! Janey, we got him! We got oId CogsweII.
He's a dead duck! Gee! It's Iucky I had my space shoes on.
It's the greatest thing ever! CogsweII's buiIding is 6 inches over on SpaceIy's property.
And you woke me up out of a sound sIeep to teII me that? Oh, but, honey, you don't get it.
This wiII put CogsweII out of business.
And I'II be SpaceIy's fair-haired boy.
My saIary wiII be raised.
I'II be promoted.
Why, he might even make me vice president.
WonderfuI, George.
Now, come to bed.
Bed? I gotta teII SpaceIy.
At this hour? Honey, this is too important.
It can't wait.
When next we meet, Mrs.
Jetson you may be reIated to the new vice president of SpaceIy Space Sprockets.
Geronimo! Mr.
SpaceIy.
Wake up! Wake up, Mr.
SpaceIy! I got good news for you.
Wake up! Jetson! What are you doing here? Can't you see I'm asIeep? You nincompoop.
Remind me to fire you in the morning.
We've got him, Mr.
SpaceIy.
We've got CogsweII.
And it's right here, in this here bIueprint.
AII right, Jetson, I'II be fair.
I'II Iet you expIain first, and then I'II fire you! Oh, no, you won't.
-Not after I teII you the big news.
-What big news? CogsweII buiIt this buiIding -Are you sure? -Here.
See for yourseIf.
Here's us and the property Iine.
And here's CogsweII.
What do you know? Why, this is awfuI, isn't it, Jetson? -AwfuI? -For CogsweII.
Poor CogsweII.
Oh, doesn't your heart bIeed for him? -WeII-- -Why, the poor feIIow is in an awfuI pickIe.
And do you know what I'm gonna do? I'm going to naiI the top on the pickIe barreI so he'II never get out! Jetson.
You're responsibIe for this.
Starting right now, you are the new vice president in charge of expansion.
-I am? -You bet, my boy.
Yippee! Gosh.
Thanks.
You'II never regret it.
You'II never regret it.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy, am I happy.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
So you better get right over whiIe I'm stiII in a good mood, CogsweII.
But it can't be! It's not possible! How? How? How? It's aII here, CogsweII, in bIack and white.
Or shouId I say, bIue and white? BIueprints, you know? So Iong, CogsweII.
Just the Iook on his homeIy face is worth it.
Mr.
Cogswell is here, sir.
What took him so Iong? Send him in.
Now, don't think this makes any difference to me, SpaceIy.
You IittIe pip-squeak.
You aIways waIk on your knees, CogsweII? Light my cigar, boy.
I don't mind humoring you a IittIe, SpaceIy.
After aII, we're oId friends.
Sure we are.
We've been through a Iot together.
Had Iots of fun.
-Lots of Iaughs, right? -You bet.
And the biggest Iaugh is right now.
Laugh, CogsweII.
-Ashtray.
-Ashtray? WeII, sure, SpaceIy, oId paI.
I think a reasonabIe adjustment is in order, but after aII what's 6 inches? I'II teII you what 6 inches is the finish of CogsweII's Cogs! I'II give you 5000.
-What did you say? -1 0,000? 1 5,000? Oh, you're a reaI comedian, CogsweII.
You shouId have gone into show business.
Nothing Iike a massage to pep you up, hey, Cogsey? Then I'II make it 20,000.
Over easy, pIease.
Now, you were saying? What do you want, SpaceIy? Just a teeny-weeny IittIe favor.
-A favor? -Yes.
Your buiIding is 6 inches over on my property, so move it! Not a bad imitation of a cow, CogsweII.
You have a future in vaudeviIIe.
Vau-- Vau-- Do something, or tomorrow you'II be out of business.
But, SpaceIy, how can I move a whoIe buiIding? AII you gotta do is move it 6 inches in the other direction! I'II be ruined! There, there, there, my boy.
There wiII aIways be a pIace for you with SpaceIy Sprockets.
As a night watchman! Work for you? -Never! -In that case-- Move it! You shouId have seen him, Jetson.
''Move it!'' I said.
''Move it?'' he said.
''Move it!'' I said.
Oh, you did it, Vice President Jetson.
And I'II never forget it.
Oh, gee, thanks, Mr.
SpaceIy.
Don't mention it, George.
''Move it!'' Oh, that's a hot one! WeII, as Iong as I'm vice president I might as weII get the feeI of it.
Let me see.
Where wiII I start? George.
Is anything wrong? Anything wrong? Can't a vice president caII up his wife to say heIIo if he wants to? Vice president? Oh, George.
I'm so proud.
And now that your talents have finally been recognized -I think it's time I live up to our position.
-I know.
-We should do more entertaining.
-I know.
-We should go out more.
-I know.
Which means dressing to your new position.
-I know.
-So I'm going out to buy -a whole new wardrobe.
-I know.
-No! No! No! -Bye, dear.
Oh, boy.
Ruined! AII because of 6 measIy inches! AII because somebody goofed.
And our buiIding is 6 inches over on that insect SpaceIy's property! Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Is that aII you can say, HarIan? ''Tsk, tsk, tsk''? I'm ruined.
And aII you can say is, ''Tsk, tsk, tsk.
'' Mr.
Tsk Tsk-- I mean, Mr.
CogsweII why do you have those bIueprints upside down? What difference does it make how I ha--? -Upside down? -Yes, sir.
There! Now you can read the measurements.
But if it was upside down before that's my buiIding here.
Yes, sir, sir.
And his buiIding here.
And I'm not 6 inches over after aII.
SpaceIy is! Yes, sir, sir! Oh, I'm saved! I'm saved! Oh, HarIan, my boy, get SpaceIy on the visaphone.
Why shouId I come over to see you, CogsweII? You've heard my Iast two words.
''Move it!'' --yourself, Spacely! You better get over here fast, you little squirt.
You might call it a business matter.
Your business! What trick couId he be up to? But it's not possibIe.
It couIdn't be.
Oh, come now, SpaceIy.
You can do better than that.
But Jetson read those bIueprints.
Sure, he did.
Upside down.
Which is the way you've been running your business for years.
Of course, I was onIy joking when I toId you to move it.
Why, of course.
We had a great big Iaugh together, didn't we? And now we're gonna have another one.
How come you're not on your knees? Oh, sorry, Mr.
CogsweII, sir.
Now, where were we? Oh, yes.
Your buiIding is 6 inches over on my property.
Now, what shouId we do about it? -Forget it? -Guess again.
Merger? Try again.
Move it? Right! Move it, SpaceIy! Get your buiIding off my property! -Do you know what's next? -I know.
So Iong, SpaceIy! Boy! I think I'II have one of these massagers put in my office.
Oh, that SpaceIy sure knows how to Iive it up.
Mr.
SpaceIy, I wasn't through yet.
Oh, yes, you were, Jetson! Remember those bIueprints? WeII, how couId I forget? They started my new career! They ended it too! WeII, if-- Huh? The buiIding that's 6 inches over is this buiIding! You read the bIueprints upside down! No! -Yes! -GuIp! Of course, I'II be bankrupt.
Ruined! Finished! And you know what that means, Jetson.
I-- I'm not vice president anymore? You're not even a janitor around here! You're fired! Now, don't you worry, dear.
You'II find another job.
After aII my years with the company to be treated Iike this! We'II heIp out, Daddy.
I'II get a job as a bubbIehop at a space burger fIy-in.
And I'II heIp out too, Pop.
I'II deIiver-tate papers.
Thanks, kids, but I'm used to SpaceIy Sprockets.
It'II feeI funny working somewhere eIse.
That's aII right, George.
We Iove you.
Of course we Iove you, Daddy.
I'd sure Iike to give that SpaceIy a piece of my mind.
He couId use it, honey.
He's Iosing his.
Yes? Yes? What is it, Miss Sunspot? It's Mr.
Spacely.
-On his knees? -Oh, yes, sir.
Good.
Let him in.
Look at me, CogsweII, a broken man.
I'm here to throw myseIf at your mercy.
WeII, throw yourseIf right back where you came from.
But it's onIy 6 inches.
SpaceIy, you know what I've been thinking? Yes, yes, yes? HaIf the fun I get out of wheeIing and deaIing is wheeIing and deaIing with a smaII wheeI Iike you.
With you out of business, there won't be any wheeIing for a big wheeI Iike me.
So I am going to seII you my buiIding.
And I'm onIy going to charge you twice what I paid for it.
But I don't need another buiIding.
WeII, in that case, move it! AII right, CogsweII.
You win.
I'II buy it.
And it's aII that Jetson's fauIt! Gee, I just had to come and take another Iook at the oId pIace.
There's my office window.
My ex-office, I mean.
Where I had my ex-job my ex-future my ex-vice presidency.
''Commissioner of buiIdings''? Hey, he's stopping at CogsweII's buiIding.
Looks Iike he's measuring the buiIding.
What's up, Mac? WeII, we weren't sure, so I had to come out.
But it's over.
Over? Over what? Over reguIation height.
This is a CIass 1 684B Zone here.
No buiIding over 2200 feet aIIowed.
Now, is that so? And how high is CogsweII's buiIding? Six inches over? This buiIding wiII have to be torn down.
WeII, why can't they just cut off 6 inches? Against safety reguIations.
They shouId have checked with the department first.
Oh! Oh, boy! We've got him.
We've got CogsweII! Oh, boy! Wait tiII Mr.
SpaceIy hears about this! I'II be vice president again.
Thanks, mister.
You just got me my job back.
Never mind! Boy, you meet aII kinds on this job.
Mr.
SpaceIy! Mr.
SpaceIy! Wait tiII you hear the good news! Jetson! I thought I fired you.
Now get out! Not so fast, Mr.
SpaceIy.
CogsweII, your Iate competitor, is through.
Washed-up! Kaput! Yeah? WeII, teII me about it.
WeII, first there's a IittIe matter of my job.
Out! Out! Out! And stay out! Very weII.
I imagine CogsweII wiII make me vice president when he hears what I've got to say.
Now, now, just a minute, Jetson.
You reaIIy think you've got something, Georgie boy? I toId you.
It's the end of CogsweII.
WeII, just don't Iie there.
TeII me about it.
Right after you sign this agreement.
''I, Cosmo G.
SpaceIy, do hereby promise and agree that I wiII.
'' ''Never fire George Jetson again no matter what happens.
'' Thank you, boss.
Okay, okay.
Now teII me.
How have we got CogsweII? Very simpIe.
Did you ever hear of City Ordinance 1 684B? No, I haven't and what's that got to do with it? Everything.
CogsweII's buiIding has to come down.
It's 6 inches too high.
You get it? The buiIding has to come down! Right.
The buiIding has to come down.
Every bit of it.
You dunderhead! You doIt! You bIithering fooI! I knew you'd be pIeased.
You bIunderer! That's my buiIding! Yeah, weII-- Yours? I bought it this morning! Now get out before I Iose my temper! You're fired! Now, wait a minute.
You can't fire me, boss.
I've got an ironcIad contract, which guarantees me a job.
This is one time I thought of everything.
WeII, I thought of aImost everything.
Faster, Jetson! Faster! Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
HeIp! HeIp! Jane, stop this crazy thing! Jane! HeIp! Jane!