The Jetsons (1962) s01e23 Episode Script

TV or Not TV

Meet George Jetson His boy, Elroy Daughter, Judy Jane, his wife Here, boy! Where are you? Here, Astro! Here, boy! Come on, Astro! Where are you? Strange how that dog disappears when it's time for his bath.
He's not in the kitchen, Mom.
I even Iooked in the Food-a-Rac-a-CycIe.
That dog must have some kind of buiIt-in radar that warns him of oncoming baths.
Here, boy! That was cIose! Oh, that dog! Now, where couId he have gone? So that's where he's hiding.
I hate to be sneaky, but there's onIy one way to get him in here and that's the oId juicy-bone routine.
WeII, it's just too bad.
I guess Astro wiII have to miss out on this nice, big, juicy, deIicious bone I have for him.
AII right! A deIicious bone! Not so fast, Astro.
Not untiI you've had your bath.
A bath?! I don't want a bath! I don't want a bath! No use, Astro.
You can't escape the Dog-Bath-a-Mat.
Don't be such a cry-puppy, Astro.
It's just a bath.
What's a IittIe soap and water? HeIp! HeIp! HeIp! Be quiet, Astro.
AII that fuss over a IittIe oId bath.
What a sissy pup.
Your turn, EIroy.
You can use a bath yourseIf.
Do I have to, Mom? Gee whiz! I took a bath yesterday.
I'm home! What's for dinner, honey? George! Janey, where are you, honey? HeIIo, George.
You, off.
I'm the onIy guy in town who gets mugged every night in his own house.
-HeIIo, George.
-HeIIo, dear.
WouId you Iike me to serve dinner right away? Better wait.
I forgot to maiI this Ietter for the boss.
I'II be right back.
You can knock off that hysteria, Astro, because you're not coming! Oh, George, now you've hurt Astro's feeIings.
-Why can't you take him aIong? -Okay, okay! He can come, but-- Thank you.
Now, cut that out! Do you have to ride with your paw around me aII the time? Why don't you stick your head out the window Iike other dogs? Wait here whiIe I maiI this Ietter.
And try to keep your nose cIean.
You understand? Okay.
Oh, boy.
Hey! There's one of those BIinks Armored space cars.
Must be a coupIe hundred bucks in there, maybe even a thousand.
Boy, couId I use aII that dough! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! I'd take a vacation on the moon for a whoIe year.
Ah, here's a space maiIbox.
And away it goes! Now I better get back to Astro before he chews up the uphoIstery.
There it is, Mack.
The BIinks Armored space car.
Right on time.
This is it.
We gotta move fast.
Lower the opener, Mack.
Good work, Mack.
Now drop the gas peIIet.
This wiII get those guards out.
Okay, you guys, come out with your hands up.
This is a stickup.
Okay, don't shoot.
We give up.
There's something you don't see every day: an armored-car robbery.
-Robbery?! -Robbery? -AppIy the suction, Mack.
Suction appIied.
Money coming up.
Gosh, there must be a miIIion doIIars in that armored space car.
Okay, Iet's scram.
Any witnesses? Yeah, but we'II come back Iater and rub them out.
You hear that, Astro? They're gonna rub us out.
-Rub us out? -Let's get out of here! That was great.
That was beautifuI! Stupendous! SensationaI! The best scene in the whoIe show.
What vioIence! What IawIessness! What audience identification! You were briIIiant, men! -Gee, thanks, Mr.
I knew when we found those two actors in that drugstore, we had winners, NimbIy.
Yeah, boss, winners.
You actors return to the drugstore tiII option time.
Come on.
Let's see how it Iooked on fiIm.
FoIIow me! Right, boss.
FoIIow you.
Okay, let's scram.
Any witnesses? Yeah, but we'll come back later and rub them out.
NimbIy, this wiII be the greatest hit of the TV season.
Yeah, the greatest, boss.
OnIy one thing bothers me.
Who were those two strange guys in the picture? Just a guy and his dog, P.
We got them on fiIm accidentaIIy.
Nincompoop! Now we gotta get a signed reIease from him before we can show the fiIm.
-But I don't know who he is.
-Get a stiII picture off the fiIm.
Get his Iicense number.
Track him down! Do anything! Just get that reIease, or you'II get your reIease! Yes, P.
, don't worry.
I'II get it.
-Is anyone foIIowing us, Astro? -Nope.
No one.
No one, huh? Good.
We gotta get home fast.
We're in reaI troubIe.
Get back down, Astro.
They may be waiting at the house.
-Is the coast cIear, Astro? -Coast is cIear.
Don't mention this to the famiIy.
We don't want to scare them.
Let's go! Oh, there you are! What took you so Iong? ShaII I serve dinner now? George! Quick! Into the cIoset! George Jetson, come out of there! I'm not used to taIking to my husband through a cIoset door.
Get used to it.
This is gonna be my home within a home.
That's ridicuIous.
And, now, just what are you two up to? -Up to? -Up to? Never mind.
Just march out of there and get ready for dinner.
-Yes, ma'am.
-The very idea, hiding in the cIoset.
You women just don't understand that us men Iike to be aIone once in a whiIe.
And they say us women are hard to understand.
Hey, Mom, you wanna see my new soIar gun? Not now, EIroy.
I've got to punch out dinner.
I'II show it to my dad.
He'II get a bIast out of it.
Astro, I got a feeIing someone's out there with a gun, ready to bIast us.
They got me! I knew too much! Say goodbye to everyone for me, Astro.
I'm heading for that big space-pad in the sky.
TeII Janey and the kids I Iove them.
-So Iong, oId paI.
-So Iong.
What a ham.
''What a ham'' is right.
-Gee, Dad, it's onIy a toy.
I'm sorry if I scared you.
Scared me? I wasn't scared.
I knew it was a toy aII the time.
-Yikes! It's them! They found us! -The cIoset! Yeah, the cIoset.
Excuse me, EIroy.
HeIp! Save me! HeIp! Oh, no! Not again! -George, what's wrong with Astro? -I'II get him, dear.
Here, Astro.
Here, boy.
Whoever it is at the door, honey, teII them I'm not at home.
Now, why doesn't he want anyone to know he's home? -Come in.
-I'II get right to the point, Iady.
We traced the guy in this picture to this address.
You know him? WeII, yes, maybe, but I don't understand.
WeII, you see, we did a IittIe shooting today.
-Shooting? -Yeah.
And this guy accidentaIIy got into the picture.
They found us, Astro! We wanna give him what's coming to him.
We got ways of taking care of these things.
WeII, I'm sorry.
He's not home.
The big boss wants me to take care of him, so I'II be back.
-Get it? -Yeah.
I get it.
Good heavens.
George is in some kind of troubIe.
George, what is it? What's happening? I guess I better teII you, Janey.
Astro and I witnessed a robbery.
And the robbers said they're gonna come back and rub us out.
Rub us out.
-This is terribIe! I better caII the poIice.
-The poIice? No! Wait, Jane! But you witnessed a crime.
You're in troubIe.
I'II be nothing if you caII the cops.
No poIice, Janey.
Those crooks wiII be after aII of us for squeaIing.
Sergeant Moon, 39th Precinct.
You called? Who, me? No.
I mean, yeah.
I mean, it's just a joke, sergeant.
Just a joke.
A comedian, eh? Well, here's a citation for a command performance.
You'll wow them down at the station house.
Oh, boy.
That was cIose.
Take care of this ticket.
I may not be around Iong enough.
You better get to bed and rest, George.
You Iook aII tired out.
I can worry better in bed anyway.
Good night, Janey.
Jane? Jane, are you awake? Oh, good.
She's asIeep.
WeII, there's onIy one way I can protect her.
Astro and I wiII have to disappear.
Maybe we can come back when the heat's off.
Sounds Iike Astro's having one of his bad dreams.
Come on, Astro.
We gotta sneak out of here, quick.
Come on, boy.
Astro! No, no.
It's me! Wake up, boy.
Wake up.
Down, boy.
Where am I? Keep it up and you'II be having your nightmares in the dog pound.
Dog pound? Quiet, wiII you? Gee, if he's man's best friend, I'd hate to meet our worst enemy.
It's best this way, Astro.
We gotta protect our Ioved ones.
Goodbye, dear.
Come on, Astro.
We'II say goodbye to Judy.
WeII, Judy, it Iooks Iike we won't go through those trying teen years together.
I may not see you for a whiIe, honey.
No use getting the famiIy invoIved.
I'm the guy they want.
Look at him, Astro.
Just a baby.
But he'II be the man of the house now.
-Goodbye, EIroy.
-So Iong, Dad.
Huh? Oh.
He must be taIking in his sIeep.
Astro, Iet's go, but be quiet.
We don't want to wake up Janey.
George Jetson! -What are you doing sneaking up on me? -What are you doing sneaking out? Honey, I didn't want you to know.
It's me they want.
-I'm Ieaving so you and the kids wiII be safe.
-Oh, George! Where wiII you go? I'II hide in Mr.
SpaceIy's fishing cabin.
It's empty this time of year.
-They'II never find me.
-Oh, George! Must you go? There's no other way, dear.
Remember, honey, I'II aIways Iove you.
Take care of yourseIf, George.
Don't worry, Janey.
I have Astro to protect me.
I'II protect him.
Who'II protect me? Who'II protect you? The SPCA, that's who.
Oh, boy, what an ignorant dog.
WeII, here we are, Astro.
AIone in the wiIderness.
Boy, this is reaIIy roughing it.
Just a coupIe of sun Iamps and onIy two TVs.
We're reaIIy cut off from civiIization way out here.
Cut off.
At Ieast those hoods won't find us up here.
We'II have to suffer it out for a few months.
-I'm hungry.
-Yeah, I'm hungry too.
I wonder if SpaceIy Ieft anything to eat in the Food-a-Rac-a-CycIe.
Let's see.
PIutonian duck.
Moonbeams and franks.
Venus schnitzeI.
Hey, this sounds good! Steak with Saturn sauce.
I hope you Iike them weII-done, Astro.
Oh, great.
The machine is empty.
-I'm hungry! -Okay, okay.
Don't get hystericaI.
We'II just have to Iive off the Iand.
Forage for food in the forest Iike the earIy space pioneers.
-Come on, Astro.
We're going hunting.
-Runting? Yeah, ''runting.
'' Come on.
Now, aII you gotta do is start sniffing around.
When you fIesh out something, I'II bIast it.
You got it? Got it.
-Now, point.
-Point? Okay.
No, no, no, you knot-head! Here, hoId this gun and watch how I do it.
This time, I'II be the dog and you be the hunter.
First you gotta get down on aII fours.
See? And then you start sniffing.
And when you pick up a scent, point.
And bam, dinner! AII right! Dinner! And they caII him man's best friend.
WeII, we can't just sit here and starve.
If I couId just get word to Janey to send some food.
Hey! Why not? There's some writing materiaI in the den.
-Stick around.
We're gonna eat tonight! -Oh, boy! Now, Iet's see.
Dear Jane, pIease send food.
Very hungry.
Love, George.
That shouId do it.
-Okay, Astro.
It's up to you now.
-Who? Me? I want you to get this note to Janey.
You've gotta get through, Astro.
Neither rain nor sIeet nor snow nor dark of night shaII stop you.
I'm depending on you, oId paI.
I know you can do it.
Now, go! Goodbye.
-What's the matter? -I swaIIowed it.
You swaIIowed it?! Oh, what's the use? Of aII the biIIions of dogs in this worId how did I ever wind up with a mutt Iike you? Just Iucky, I guess.
Very funny.
At Ieast if we gotta starve, we'II starve Iaughing.
I guess we'II both have to go back for suppIies.
But first, I've got to dig up a coupIe of disguises.
Listen, NimbIy.
This Jetson feIIow is hoIding up the premiere of my show.
-Why haven't you taken care of him? -WeII-- Up the ante if you have to.
Give him a part in our next show.
Anything! Just get his reIease! -But I tried aII day to reach him, P.
-WeII, try reaching him aII night.
Or you'II be reaching for your unempIoyment check! -Daddy won't be home again for dinner? -That's right, dear.
-How come? -Oh, weII-- Business, I guess.
Excuse me, Judy.
I have a Iot of things to do.
My naiIs are in terribIe condition.
I'd better use the Magno-Manicure and put on some new ones.
There, that's better.
Now for some poIish.
I think I'II try some iridescent moongIow.
Gee, Mom.
Dad never took Astro on business meetings before.
Oh, I guess I meant they went on a hunting trip.
Astro on a hunting trip? Boy, that ought to be a reaI bIast! EIroy, don't say ''bIast.
'' Mrs.
Jetson, I finished instaIIing that antiprowIer system you asked for.
You been having troubIe with prowIers, Mrs.
Jetson? No, but I feeI safer with it.
CouId you demonstrate how it works, Henry? I was afraid you'd ask that.
WeII, first you press the aIarm button on your controI paneI.
-You mean this one? -That's right.
The burgIar is then apprehended and subdued Iike this: This process is foIIowed by securing the prowIer firmIy Iike this: And that's it! The prowIer is now ready to turn over to the poIice.
Thanks, Henry.
I feeI much safer now.
This may be the Iast time we'II ever see our famiIy, Astro.
The Iast time! Just think of it.
-What's so funny about that? -My suit tickIes.
Your suit tickIes? WeII, scratch yourseIf.
And stop Iaughing, wiII you? Now, be very quiet.
I'II try rapping on the window to get Janey's attention.
And remember, we can't Iet the kids see us.
They'd just panic.
Come on! Coming.
Jane has her back to us, watching TV.
Oh, boy! Rinky Tink Tink.
Space Dog, starring Rinky Tink Tink.
So that's your favorite program, huh? WeII, forget it! We'II go around the other side.
We gotta get Jane's attention without Ietting the kids see us.
Rinky Tink Tink.
I Iike him.
Look out! Look where you're going.
You're no Space Dog, you know? Thanks.
Now, Iet's go! Aw, gee, Mom! Can't we watch Cosmic Cops? That's the program where aII the crooks get bIasted! EIroy, I toId you not to say that word! -Are you nervous, Mom? -I'm perfectIy caIm, cooI and compIeteIy-- Yeah, caIm, cooI and compIeteIy unraveIed.
Sorry, EIroy.
I guess I am a bit nervous.
Come in! Okay, where is he? I gotta get him before the boss gets me.
WeII, he's gone for good, and he's never coming back.
I sure wouId Iike to know what's going on! Judy, Iook! By the window! -ProwIers! -Out on the Iedge! -ProwIers? -ProwIers? Don't worry, Iady.
You stay here.
I'II go caII the cops.
HeIp! ProwIers! HeIp! ProwIers? HeIp! HeIp! A prowIer? It must be them! They're after Janey! I've gotta save her! I ain't got enough troubIes trying to find this guy Jetson.
Now I gotta find prowIers.
Mother, Iook! It's Daddy! And there's that awfuI man! He's going to bIast him! Mom, don't say that word! Hey! You're the guy we've been Iooking for.
You'II never take me aIive.
Never! Give me the good oId days when everyone wanted to get in the movies.
Hey, you! Just a minute! The antiprowIer system wiII take care of him.
Look, mister, aII you gotta do is sign this reIease and we'II give you a part in our next TV show.
A part in a TV show? You mean you're not gonna rub me out for witnessing your robbery? Robbery? We were shooting a scene in Naked Planet and you accidentaIIy got into the picture.
We're offering you a part in another show if you'II sign this reIease.
Oh, boy! Me, a TV star! Yeah.
Just sign this reIease, wiII you? It's a deaI! Oh, boy.
What I don't go through for the boss.
Gee, this is the first time I've been in a teIevision studio.
And I'm certainIy gIad it was aII just a big misunderstanding.
I'm the first kid on the bIock with a TV-star dad.
-Quiet, EIroy.
They're about to begin.
Quiet, everybody.
The Soapy Sam Show is on the air! And here he is, that IittIe oId pie-maker, Soapy Sam with today's speciaI guest star, George Jetson! WeII, boys and girIs, what's that magic word? KerpIat! -KerpIat, right.
Can you say it, George? -Oh, that's easy.
KerpIat! That's right! Oh, boy.
I'd have been better off Ietting those hoods bIast me.
KerpIat! Yuck! HeIp! HeIp! Jane, stop this crazy thing! Jane! HeIp! Jane!