The Moodys (2014) s01e04 Episode Script

1 I'm not 40.
So I've missed the surprise? Oh, I'm surprised.
You've got the job.
But side note - your interview skills are terrible.
Perfect.
Mate, I'm your boss now.
A little enthusiasm wouldn't go astray.
Thank you, Sean, for the incredible career opportunity.
Busted! You are busted! Roger! This must be your little problem.
He wants to break up with you, but he doesn't know how to do it, so You're a coward, Terry Moody.
You're unbelievable, mate.
I said I was sorry, Sean.
Yeah, well, it's coming out of your wages, cobber.
Wages? You haven't paid me any wages.
Is it any wonder, mate, when you pull a stunt like that? 50% off! She was a grieving widow.
She said she couldn't afford it.
Grieving widows are the backbone of the industry, Dan! They're so concerned with their grieving, they don't worry about the cost.
She played you like a cheap fiddle, mate.
A weak, milky-white, can't grow a proper beard, wide-eyed fiddle.
Hook, line and dickhead.
You guys ready to go? You'll have to drive.
Old mate's still got the wool pulled over his eyes.
What? What's wrong with him? Nothing.
Hey.
You ready for a romantic Easter weekend away? Yes.
With your entire family.
It'll be fine.
We've got our own cabin.
Alright.
Hurry up! It's gonna be fine.
Pack the stuff! Clive Carlisle.
Australian Cruising Drivers' Club.
Kevin Moody, pleased to meet you.
Shut the front door! This must be your daughter.
Maree, this is, er Clive Carlisle, President of the Australian Cruising Drivers' Club.
Hello.
So, ah, Easter break for you two? Oh, the rest of the family are on their way.
Yeah, we all like to get away at Easter, you know? Oh, family is important.
As are romantic dinners.
That's a half-price seafood platter at Rory's.
Best seafood in the world.
Oh, thank you.
How nice.
And for you, sir, some light reading material.
A little bit about who we are, what we do.
First-year membership is complimentary.
Oh, thank you.
Good.
No, you can thank me by having a little read of that booklet.
Absolutely.
I'm gonna hold you to that.
Thanks.
Will do.
Double trouble! How many have you got back there? Well, that one is my daughter.
Is.
Right.
Anyway, I'd better be off.
Have a great read.
Will do.
Lovely to meet you.
Cheers.
Alright, yes, 52.
This is us! Sorry, is this our cabin, or yours? This is ours.
Well, where's ours? Hey? This one here.
This is us.
Sean, I told you we wanted our own cabin.
Oh what, just you and Cora? Yes.
Mate, I assumed when you said 'us', you meant you and me.
What, and Terry and Cora? If they want.
But come on, we've always stayed together.
We always have to.
We're bunkies.
Bunkies? It's a thing.
We were kids.
What's the problem? Oh, Dan doesn't want to stay with us now.
Oh, come on Daniel, all the boys together.
Huh? I'm a free agent again.
Let's paint the caravan park red.
Whoa! Lock up your mothers! Ah, daughters.
Yeah, crusty old daughters.
You're right.
This is gonna be really romantic.
It's fine.
I'll sort it out.
No, no, bags top! Bags top! No, no, no! Yes! Toppsies! Tomorrow we'll get to the beach.
Just us, OK? Dan, it's fine.
No, it's not.
We'll get our weekend away together, alright? Without Sean and Terry? No way! Yes way.
Vonnie is a true professional.
Not awkward at all.
It's a shame.
I liked her.
Don't meddle.
She's a lovely lass, but I just I just needed my space, you know? A bit of free time.
For what? Well, just to, you know, other interests.
Pastimes.
OK, I'm going to the bottlo.
Oh, thank God for that.
White wine for your mum.
Get a bottle of gin and a cheeky rose, numb nuts.
Roger that.
Come on boy, let's go.
I'm not coming.
Come on, it's the first bottle run, mate.
It's tradition.
It's bro time.
No, I see you all week.
I'm here to spend time with Cora.
Cora! Come on, mate - bros before hos.
Yeah, dicks before chicks.
Hey, she gets it.
Yeah, she does.
It's just knowing that you're incapable of any financial dealings.
Yep, I get it.
Even Scotty wouldn't have done that.
And he's a dickhead.
Are you gonna go on about this all weekend, or? Maybe, mate, until the message goes in.
Ah, excuse me? Hmm? Would you be able to buy us a case of beer? Ah, no, sorry mate Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Mate, this is exactly what I'm talking about.
I'm not buying beer for children, Sean.
You just don't get it, do ya? How old are ya? Not old enough.
No.
So you'd expect a little 'not old enough' service fee, wouldn't ya? Um, yeah.
Um, yeah! Now a market like this, case of beer, we're talking a cool hunjie, my friend.
Oh, um Um Hang on.
What are you doing? I'm showing you how to take advantage of a business opportunity.
What, in the underage alcohol market? These kids are exactly like us.
Remember us? Our very first longnecks under the bridge? How would we have ever done that if no-one ever did this for us? They're nothing like us.
They're exactly like us.
I'm the ballsy, brassy one, the good-looking one, asking for the beer.
The one the girl likes.
You're the shitty pale one over there being boring, shit and crap, alright? We're giving back.
This is the circle of life.
It's the circle of abuse.
Oh, my brother the hypocrite.
Mate, it's better we provide a safe service for them, right, than them getting all hopped up on Ajax and going to try and knock over a bottlo and getting shot in the face.
Think of the parents, the grieving parents.
Ah, yep.
A hundred.
Righto, very good.
Go and wait over there.
I'm Jeremy, by the way.
Didn't ask for your name.
Ah, no.
Sorry.
Go and wait over there! Finder's fee.
Well done.
How good was that sausage? Mm, thanks Tez.
And how good is this? Easter, and family and good times.
We thought we might go into town tomorrow.
Actually, we were thinking we might go to Fern Beach.
Oh, that sounds good.
What time? Actually, Dad, we were thinking maybe just the two of us.
Oh, doesn't have to be, though.
We were thinking, you know, just a little bit of time alone.
Mate, you can't do that.
This is a family holiday.
I can't go to the beach for a day? No.
How would you feel if I took Cora to the beach all day? What? Mate, I'd love nothing more than to take Cora to the beach all day, sunbaking, frolicking, the whole bit.
Yeah, OK, I'd feel a bit weird about that.
Yeah, mate.
Exactly.
Evening, folks.
Hey, Clive.
So, you have a read? Ahh You said you would.
Yeah, I had a quick read, yeah.
And? Well, it all looked pretty good.
Fantastic.
That's just such great news.
It is great news.
Come and join us, Mr Overfriendly Man.
Oh.
Yeah, you sit down.
Thanks.
Yeah, here.
You be drink and be merry.
So, you've got a little club? Yeah, a little gathering of knowledge and support for the recreational vehicle community.
That's great, isn't it? You know, it's very important to have others around you.
It's One can a man .
.
can fly through life solo, man.
Yep, that's very true.
It's like these two here.
Now he fought for her, he did.
OK, Tez, he doesn't want to hear about it.
No.
No, Daniel, you be proud of this, right? She is She is a good catch for you.
She's lovely.
She is a lovely lady.
She is lovely, isn't she? Say it.
Say 'lovely'.
You're lovely.
Thank you.
She's so lovely-looking.
And she has great shoulders on her head.
Thank you, Terry.
My welcome.
But the point is, and this is, the point is - he didn't give up.
I mean, we all thought that he never had a chance.
Didn't we? Oh, we laughed.
'Wasting his time,' we all thought.
It just seemed so wrong.
But funny enough, sometimes wrong can be exactly Whoa, whoa! Take a seat.
Take a seat, Tez.
Something funny, Sean? No, mate, not at all.
Haven't you done enough?! OK, that's probably enough.
I made a mistake.
And it's all wrong.
I should have not have ever ever told you.
Steady on, mate.
Who bought you the rose? I miss Yv What? Yvonne.
Did he say 'Wyong'? Wyong? You miss Wyong, Tez? Yvonne! I think he's saying 'Yvonne'.
Yvonne? He doesn't miss Yvonne.
She knew exactly what she wanted, and it scared me.
I was scared.
It's OK.
Yeah, you let it out.
It's alright.
It's alright.
Let it out.
OK, I might just see you guys later, yeah? Overfriendly Man, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to say it.
See you tomorrow.
Bye.
Yvonne! Woo-hoo! Hey, Sean? Sean! Huh? I am so glad you provided a safe service.
That circle of life.
I can't hear you over bloody Terry.
Cora, kick his Kick him.
No.
Kick his mattress, now.
Well, that's better.
Now we can really hear it.
Oh mate, they're just letting off steam.
Alright, boys, wrap it up now! Go back to sleep, you prick! Yeah, that worked.
So we'll head off later? What? To the beach? Yeah.
I just really need a shower first.
Oh, so she's coming with us now? Oh, righto.
Morning.
Morning.
Think someone might have just had a little bit too much to drink last night.
You think? Yvonne! Yvonne! Sean! Sean, leave him alone.
He's OK.
I did get a little bit emotional.
Here they are.
You little shit.
You kept us awake all last night.
What, me? Yeah! Oh, so sorry, guys.
Are ya? Go on, piss off.
Ah, actually before I do, just one thing.
Um, we could actually really do with another case for today.
Oh, could ya? Good luck with that, mate.
Oh, you're saying no? I'm saying I'm gonna put that hat up your arse.
OK, well, ah, just one second.
I didn't want to do this, but A case of beer, a market like this, we're talking a cool hunjie, my friend.
Ah, technology, huh? Bit different from when you were a kid, hey? Wow, a video.
Big deal.
Pretty big deal.
Up to $11,000 and/or 12 months in prison.
What, are you gonna go to the cops? Cops? No.
I'll just go to Dad.
Oh, wait.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
I always forget this.
Dad is a cop.
So yeah, I'll go to the cops.
Don't worry.
Don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
I really like you guys.
In fact, I've got a whole day planned.
You've got a car, don't you? Have fun.
Um, both of you.
I technically didn't buy you anything.
Ah, not what it looks like on here, mate.
I'll see you both in the car.
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, give us the beer money.
Hmm.
I got the last one.
Same as before, thanks.
Excellent, Sean.
Well played.
Jeez, he reminds me of me, though.
He's a twat.
He is a clever twat.
Don't worry, mate.
I'm gonna get him.
But you've got to admit - he's impressive.
Sorry, girls.
Some ratbags got in last night and, ah, messed the place up.
Oh, did they? Yeah, that one's not too bad.
OK, thank you.
Thank you.
Hey, did you get to have a shower? No, I think I'm going to wait for a swim.
Ah, yeah, about that.
I think I'm gonna have to raincheck to help my brother deal with a little extortion attempt.
I don't want to know, do I? No, you don't.
I'm sorry.
I'll make it up to you later? Come on, we've gotta go do that thing we always want to do every Easter.
Mm-hmm.
Just the two of us.
'Royal Waters, an award-winning boutique resort with luxury ocean views and a rejuvenating day spa.
' It's probably so expensive.
Not if we don't pay.
Hey, folks.
Morning.
Oh, good morning.
Ah, this is Tracey.
Hello! Hello, nice to meet you.
You mind if we No, no, sit down, Clive.
Thank you.
Latest members.
What do you reckon? Well, it's a big yes from me.
Oh, no, not me, him.
Kevvie.
I'm a solo man.
OK, well, that's alright too.
Ah, actually, sorry, I'm about to get into a few of the details of the club.
Oh, great.
Oh, excuse me.
Don't mind me.
I'm a little bit hung.
Sorry, they're a little bit top secret.
Oh, Secret Squirrel stuff, eh? Yeah.
Terry, I think he wants you to get lost for a bit, mate.
No, he doesn't.
Yeah, if you don't mind, actually.
Yeah righto.
I'll go for a stroll, then.
OK, so every membership comes with this discount booklet.
Can you stop that, please? Can you not do that, Sean? What do you think about his hair? I don't think anything about his hair.
A bit much, isn't it? She obviously loves it.
Remember when we got matching rat's tails that summer? We bought those tank tops and I had a scorpion on mine and you had a cobra on yours.
Wore 'em all summer It was a rattlesnake.
No, it was a spitting cobra, wasn't it? It was a rattlesnake.
Why are you so grouchy today? Why do you think? A day at the beach, with your brother, suddenly not good enough? Mate, this beach, all the memories we had here.
The summertimes, the sexual awakening in the sand dunes, the foundation bro time we had here.
Bro time? You and your mates held me down and poured sand down my nose.
You've got a faulty memory all of a sudden.
Oh, wonderful, yeah.
Thanks for nothing.
Mate, you're in a bad mood.
I'm in a bad mood because I could be at the beach with my girlfriend, and instead I'm being blackmailed into chaperoning these muppets.
You're always focusing on the negative.
That's because there is zero positive here.
You were always such a happy kid and now you're this grumpy Um, Jeremy said that you could get us some hot chips, and he wants more beer.
Yeah, alright.
I'll get your precious hot chips.
But you tell him, from me, that I'm gonna win this thing, alright? He won't see me coming, but he'll regret the day he ever pushed Sean Moody.
Sweet.
Thanks! Good.
Good.
Put the foot down.
Alright, I get the chips, you get the beer.
No.
Mate, who got the Chiko rolls? They were for you! Yeah, and who got them? You got them.
Yes.
For yourself.
That's right.
And I paid for them.
Yeah.
It's not my problem, hey? It's a staple for coast life, Chiko roll.
Grew up on 'em.
It was good enough for you as a kid.
All of a sudden, 'Oh, no, only vegan things for me please.
' I never ate Chiko rolls.
'My skin's too pale!' I'm not vegan, Sean.
No, you act like a vegan.
You look like a vegan, more to the point.
Ah, good morrow, kind lady.
I was just wondering if you would happen to know who owns the cherry red Road and Trail 10-speed out front there, would you? It's just that, well, this may seem a little strange, but I once cared very deeply about someone who owns a bike exactly like that and, well, I won't bore you with the details.
But let's just say I didn't realise what a good thing I had until it had slipped betwixt my fingers.
Anyway, I was thinking that the best thing for it might be a little ridio.
So if you could find it in the kindness of your heart to let this old fool take said penny-farthing out for a little ride, I would be very much appreciative.
What? Can I take the bike? This is the best idea I've ever had.
Yeah, it's OK.
Oh, shit, someone's coming.
Shit.
What? Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
Champagne.
Oh, sorry, we didn't order anything.
With compliments from the gentleman.
Thank you.
OK, thank you.
Thank you.
That's very nice of him.
Yeah.
He looks a little bit creepy.
No.
More suave.
Yeah? Mm.
Thanks.
I'm a little bit done with creepy suave.
Who, Matt? Uh-huh.
It's a mistake I get reminded of every time I go in the office.
Mm.
I subsequently found out that many a real estate agent has seen the back of Matt's car.
Oh, that's really sweet of him.
Mm-hm.
Oysters.
Oh.
Thank you.
Thanks.
OK, this is really creepy now.
No, it's generous.
It's like 5% creepy.
I think I'll end up alone Everything I do Asleep and all alone Everything I do Sitting all by myself My God I'm confused.
You've reached Yvonne.
Leave your message after the beep.
Delicious.
So hang on, you are in real estate, and you are in real estate.
This is like one of those movies, where you're the billionaire widow and you're the girl that falls for mainly gay men.
But you have a heart of gold and you work in Africa, and then, by chance, you meet in some foreign land and Bridge, are you OK? Oh Oh! Eugh! That is totally Oh, that is spew in the spa! I'm sorry.
Oh, shit a monkey! Right, that's it.
No more driving! You're the boss.
Oh, hey, hey, hey! Stop the car.
What are you doing?! Jesus, Tez, are you OK? Oh, Seanie, I think I'm OK.
I've come off me bike.
Yeah, I think you're a bit concussed.
Give me your hand.
No, no, no.
Yeah.
I think I'm having one of those epiphonyonic moment thingies.
Hey? Well, I've been riding around, searching for answers, I think I've found it.
Bike lanes.
What? Yvonnie was right.
We need more bike lanes.
Mate, you hate bike lanes.
Yes.
I know.
Well, yeah, I did, but I didn't understand them.
That is how I will win her back, Sean.
I will create bike lanes.
Yep, yep, that's good, mate.
Yeah, mate, you can become Mayor of Bikes Town and you can build bike lanes and win your old girlfriend back.
That's genius, mate.
Sean.
You are brilliant.
All is forgiven, my young Padawan.
Thought you might like a little nightcap.
Well, that's nice, Clive, but it's 11 o'clock, mate.
The girls are in bed.
Ah, I get it.
Sorry? It's going to be OK.
Ah, what will? We'll just go as slow as you want.
Let the games begin.
I don't know what you mean, mate.
The girls are asleep.
Yeah Are you being serious? I guess so.
Oh, come on, love.
This is a washout.
Local elections are in three months.
That just gives me enough time to plan my strategy.
Can you run a whole campaign just on bike lanes? Absolutely.
It's decisive.
It's a clean idea and the people will eat it up.
Did you do this to my son's hair? Me? Nah.
That's him.
That's him.
Probably did it himself.
Kids today.
Property of Sean Moody, Dying High.
Sean, what have you done? Dad, he had it coming.
I told you I'd get ya, didn't I? He's a child! What sort of person does this? Sorry, mate.
Who are you, anyway? I'm Jeremy's father.
No, you're not.
Yes, I am.
Well, if you're his dad then he really deserved it.
Sean, get up and say you're sorry.
Yeah, fine.
Sorry.
What did you say? I said sorry! To him.
Sorry.
-Sean! Soggy.
-Sean! Alright.
Sorry.
Right, shake hands.
Ugh.
Jeremy, shake his hand.
I didn't do anything! Just do as I say.
Look, I'm sorry about that, but he's been out of control lately.
Yeah, I know what sons can be like.
But, ah, I'd expect something more from someone that age.
So would I.
Right, you lot.
Out.
What? You brought the club into disrepute.
You can't make us leave.
Yeah, you wanna bet? Glen, who runs this place, is a founding member.
What, is this about last night? Discount vouchers.
Come on, let's see 'em.
And next time, I suggest you read the booklet before you commit to the organisation.
Alright, pack up.
We're going.
What did you do, Dad? Nothing.
What'd you do? Nothing, Sean.
It didn't look like nothing.
What's going on? We're going.
We're being kicked out.
Well not us, specifically but drongo here and your kinky folks.
I need to get back to start work on my campaign.
On Your Bike with Terry Moody.
Well We might Stay.
Yeah, we've booked the place.
See it through the weekend.
I was hoping you could take some manly head shots of me for the poster.
Something like this.
Cora, maybe you could Baz up an outfit for me.
Ah Maybe next week we could Dan, Dan, check it out.
Cora.
What's? What are your initial thoughts? Is that his Did you cut his hair off? I got him.
I got him.
Hey? Yeah, you got him.
Yeah, I did.
Hey? You're the king.
I am the king! You're the king.
Yeah, baby.
Yeah.
How did you Mate, just You would have loved it.
Loved it.
Little bastard.
Little punk-arsed bitch.
We're gonna keep that as a trophy.
That's for you.
Yeah, well, I'll treasure it.
Right, let's go.
On Your Bike with Terry Moody.
Got it.
OK.
See ya, Cor Cor.
Bye, Seanie.
Hey Dan, take her to the cave near the blowhole.
Remember? Anne-Marie Taglielli? What's up with your thumb? Yuck! I never did that.
You're welcome, Cora.
Oh.
So So Bunkies.
Oh, you don't even know what bunkies is.
I do know what it is.
It's where you share a bunk with someone.
Oh, no, no.
It's a fine family tradition and I'm going to teach you all about it.
Teach me, Mr Moody.
Hey, sis.
Hey, Sammy.
Sam.
Only she calls me Sammy.
She was in the bath.
She was having a bath.
It is very weird and very wrong.
Vonnie, it's Terry.
I was just ringing to invite you to my fundraiser.
Everybody knows this is a pathetic attempt to win her back.
I am very passionate about bike lanes.
Driving under the influence, exceeding the speed limit and entering a threatened species exclusion zone.
Bike lanes suck! Bike lanes suck! Are you pleading guilty or not guilty? I don't think it's an either-or situation, m'lud.
The sweetest taste Is best served cold Or so I'm told Or so I'm told And now I'm down with This lonely heart And don't I look the part? Don't I look the part? Don't I look the part? Don't I look the part?