The Morning Show (2019) s02e04 Episode Script

Kill the Fatted Calf

["Nemesis" playing]
[music ends]
But if this is the last time ♪
[Bradley] Whoo!
Make up your mind ♪
I've waited a lifetime to live ♪
Camera 3, give me
Lizzy. Taking camera 3.
Donny, I need a wide. Get
a wide camera. Wide shot.
I'm making a fire ♪
Na-na-na-na, na, na ♪
Na-na-na-na, na ♪
- Where should I put the coffee?
- Wait, where is Brett? Uh, coff What?
Chip said I should ask
you where to put it.
[Rena chuckles]
I know a place we can start ♪
But if this is the last time ♪
Make up your mind ♪
Congratulations on everything, Stella.
Getting Alex back was masterful.
I've waited a lifetime to live ♪
- Ratings last night
- [Cory] Yes, hell of an interview.
Thanks so much, Gerald.
It's time to ignite ♪
I'm making a fire ♪
Na na, na-na-na-na, na, na ♪
Na-na-na-na, na, na ♪
Na-na-na-na, na ♪
[crowd cheering]
Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo!
- What Go up there? Oh, Jesus. God.
- Go up and talk to Dave.
Oh, my gosh, you guys. The
Foo Fighters. You guys What?
[woman in crowd] I love you, Dave!
- I know every single song.
- It's a new song.
Nobody's really heard it
yet. Comes out summer 2020.
It was my daughter Violet's
idea to play it, actually.
Yeah. I said, you know, Alex
should get a world premiere.
- I love her. She's my favorite.
- She's cool.
- I love you guys, too, but
- [crowd chuckling]
All right, ladies and gentlemen,
the Foo Fighters. That was amazing.
- Whoo!
- [crowd cheering]
[floor director] We're out. Back in two.
- You doing okay?
- Oh, Dave, I'm so good.
- Are you happy?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- I'm happy.
- You seem happy.
- Thank you for doing this.
- You guys are the best.
- Thank you.
[Ty] The number two trending story is
the president announcing
his budget proposal today,
which is expected to include
steep cuts to Medicare and Medicaid
and increase spending on a border wall.
But the top trending
topic this morning is
It's Alex Levy.
- Ah.
- [Bradley, Daniel, Yanko cheering]
- [Yanko] It's Alex Levy.
- Come on. Wow!
- [Bradley] Oh, my gosh.
- I've arrived, guys.
- [Yanko] Yes, you can quit now.
- No, no.
- No, don't don't quit.
- [Bradley laughs] Wait.
- She just got back. [sighs]
- [Ty] The people are saying,
"Thank goodness Alex Levy's home.
Coffee doesn't taste right without her."
- [Bradley] It did taste different today.
- That's very sweet.
"OMG! So great to see
Alex and Bradley together.
Bradley without Alex is
like Rose without Jack."
- [Yanko] Adorable.
- Oh, my gosh. Thank you.
- Yeah.
- Twitter user @Crvcrab says, um,
"Alex Levy, modern day hero."
- Yeah. "Hashtag feminist god."
- [sighs]
Okay, that's enough.
I think we've heard enough
of this. Come on, Ty.
[Daniel] Just keep hitting
her with those brutal tweets.
We're thrilled to have you back.
You're family here on The Morning Show.
Uh, Yanko, just a heads-up. Someone
reposted your Groundhog Day thing.
Oh, that's cool.
Um, yeah, actually, it's
what I said the other day.
They don't like that you call
something your spirit animal,
so that's why they reposted it.
- Oh, please. Is it Is that it?
- Yeah.
Let me see that.
Crap. Thanks.
It's okay.
[floor director] Brava! That's
what I call a show, girlfriend.
- L-E-V-Y, what does it spell?
- I love you.
- Congrats. I'll see you upstairs.
- Thanks, honey. [exclaims]
- Alex, great to have you back.
- Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
- Hey, good show.
- Thank Thanks.
- I think it went well.
- I gave Stella your best political stuff.
So hopefully this will get us moderator.
Yeah, I hope so too.
People still stop me on the street
about that de Blasio interview.
- Are you going somewhere?
- Um, yeah. I have a meeting.
- You have a meeting?
- Mm-hmm. I booked it myself.
I'll call you in a couple hours.
- [sighing] Oh, we did it.
- You've done it, like, a million times.
I know. But, like, a
million lifetimes ago.
Could you imagine if they paid me
all that money and I just sucked?
- Well, you didn't have to come back.
- I know, but I did.
[sighs, chuckles] Is it good?
Oh, gosh. Oh, man. Okay,
okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
- Mom?
- Yeah?
- You all right?
- Yeah, I'm good. I'm good.
Lizzy, you wanna go check
out the spread in the kitchen?
- See if your mom wants some food?
- Yeah.
- [door opens, closes]
- Okay. Okay.
- Okay. Sorry.
- Last night's interview played great.
- [sighs]
- I mean, yes, you were nervous.
But it turned out great.
- The ratings were great.
- Yeah.
- First show back, smashing success.
- Mm-hmm.
- Relax.
- I hear you.
Okay. I know, right? I need to relax.
Good. Now, we do need
to talk about the debate.
The DNC needs their list of
moderators, and it's just
We gotta book the travel and
hotels, Vegas, all that stuff.
Yeah. Yeah. No. No.
The last thing I want
right now is more exposure.
Is there a part of you that feels you
should do it? As a show of good faith.
You mentioned what a generous
deal they made for you,
and they obviously didn't
do that for nothing.
They know you can bring
home the bacon and fry it up.
- [sighs]
- You'll bring 'em a huge audience.
- [cell phone buzzes]
- It's win-win.
I have to take it. It's Doug.
- Alex
- Mm-hmm.
you should do this.
- Should do this?
- Yeah.
You know what you should do?
Yeah. Right. Okay.
Still Still doing it.
[Alex] And you know that comes
with all the love in my heart.
Hey, Doug. Yes, I did. I got
all all of your flowers.
[car horn honking]
[engine revs]
[Mitch] Okay, now, when you're
doing your interview, remember,
law professors do not
need to be ambushed.
This is to establish how
Italian law sometimes has a
Yeah, yeah.
By "yeah, yeah, yeah," do
you just want me to shut up?
- She wants me to shut up.
- I'm just trying to focus right now.
- Okay. I get it.
- [sighs]
I get it. I totally get it.
We could rehearse.
I could play the professor.
You could play Paola Lambruschini,
documentary filmmaker.
- Actually, Fido could play the professor.
- [chuckles]
- He's very professional.
- Yeah.
He's got one of those jackets with
patches on the elbows, the whole thing.
Yeah? Wanna do that?
You're gonna do great.
[Cory gulps]
I know it's early in the
day for the Donner Party,
but Plus sent over a cut
of the Forlorn Hope finale.
- You want to watch it now?
- Oh, yes. God, yes.
[sighs] You know
for someone in the closet,
you sure know your way around.
I'm not in the closet. I'm
just not actually a lesbian.
Well, you're something.
You're something.
- I better go.
- Oh, you have to?
[Bradley] Yeah, I gotta
go to Cory's office.
I'm gonna walk in there,
and I'm gonna tell him
that I'm not fucking leaving
until he gives me moderator.
- What?
- So sorry. I didn't mean to laugh.
It just sounded funny, so combative.
It's not combative. It's honest.
Is that how you two communicate,
with unvarnished truths and ultimatums?
I can tell you, I've
known Cory a long time,
and he wouldn't let just anyone do that.
- It's complicated.
- I'd like to hear.
I guess
Okay, well, on the day
of Alex's last show
Actually, it feels
gross calling it that.
On the day Hannah died.
Di Did you know Hannah?
No, but I know who you mean.
[sighs] Well, so much happened that day.
And after it all, the
board actually fired Cory.
- Please don't tell anybody I said that.
- [mouthing words] I won't.
I mean, they never announced it.
They fired Cory, they put Fred
on leave, and they suspended me.
Alex took off.
So Cory and I got really close.
We We really showed
up for each other and
- Are you sure you want to hear this?
- Where's it going exactly?
As friends, I was just
My heart broke for him.
- He was really vulnerable.
- Mmm, yeah, he doesn't lead with that.
No, but But then a couple days later,
I got up in front of the board, and
and I just fucking unloaded on them.
And I told them that
Fred had to be fired,
and that Cory was
the guy to replace him,
and I really didn't think I
was getting through to them.
But then a day later,
he came down to my room,
and he said that they made him CEO.
And as his first act, he
was lifting my suspension.
At that point, he and I
were, like, best friends.
And I was a really good friend to him.
Anyway, fuck him.
You know they're talking
about replacing him, right?
Wait, what?
UBA is in third,
which wouldn't be such a big deal
if it didn't go hand in hand with scandal.
I mean, it doesn't matter
that he's had success for them.
People's memories are short,
and at the end of the day,
it just comes down to money.
And he's investing just
massive amounts in UBA+,
which doesn't launch for another
month, and it needs to perform.
And, I mean, another streaming service?
- They should be illegal.
- I guess you could just not subscribe.
At this point,
UBA's balance sheet basically looks
like a hemophiliac's used Band-Aid.
You should talk to him.
That's what I'm gonna do. That's
how this conversation started.
But you should reconcile with
him, even if it's just for show.
The network is your partner.
- [sighs]
- And he's your CEO for now.
Make them your ally, not your foe.
Your career will thank you.
[chattering in Italian]
[bell tolling]
- Wow, you got a lot of stuff.
- I'm used to it.
- What will you do while I'm in it?
- What am I going to do?
- Uh, practice my singing
- Uh-huh.
with some Italian music.
[on phone] Ready? ♪
[Mitch] Uno, duo, tre, quatro! ♪
[in Italian accent] When I was a boy ♪
Just about the eighth-a grade ♪
Mama used to say ♪
"Don't stay out-a late ♪
With the bad-a boys ♪
Always shootin' pool, Giuseppe ♪
You gonna flunk-a school!" ♪
[chuckles] Idiota.
You talking to Giuseppe?
- [chuckles]
- [chuckles] You know, Giuseppe
[song continues on phone]
I'm not really used
to people helping me.
So thank you.
What's-a matter you? ♪
Hey! Gotta no respect? ♪
Stop it.
What-a you think you do? ♪
Why you look-a so sad? ♪
It's-a not so bad ♪
It's-a nice-a place ♪
- Keep it down! [giggles]
- Ah, shaddap-a you face! ♪
- [song ends]
- [chuckles]
[phone rings]
Hey, Paige, is everything okay?
No, everything is not okay.
Kelly Daykin just called me.
I didn't know you two talked.
It wasn't a good call.
Someone tried to plant a nasty story in
the Daily News about Hannah Shoenfeld.
[sighs] Did she say what it was?
She spared me details.
Apparently it paints
her as pretty fucked up.
You said, "tried." "Tried to plant."
- So, they're not printing it?
- They're not.
[sighs] Why did she call you?
I think the implication is clear.
Oh, my God, Paige, you
don't think I'm behind this?
- Who do you think I am?
- The kids don't need this.
It was not me.
That poor girl doesn't need this.
- Paige.
- I don't wanna hear it.
I did my duty. I hope
you're enjoying Italy.
[call ends]
[man on screen] When he
arrived, he was starving.
[sighs] I'd seen that look so
many times these last five months.
It was horrible.
- So where is he, Mr. Keseberg?
- [phone ringing]
Where is my son? We will dig
up every last inch of dirt
Kyle, who's calling on my direct?
- [Keseberg] Please, Mr. Eddy.
- If I have
Kyle, who is it?
I didn't know if I should
yell this out. [sighs]
It's Mitch Kessler.
Okay, I'll take it.
Uh, stay off this one.
- [Mitch] Hello?
- Yeah?
I didn't know you were there.
Most people say, "Hello."
Something new I'm trying out.
Groundbreaking stuff.
Uh, I'm calling because
I thought you should know
that someone has launched a
smear campaign against Hannah.
[clears throat] Fred.
Yeah. Um, Daily News isn't gonna run it,
but his tentacles run so deep that
somebody's gonna bite eventually.
Unless you cut it off at the root.
Oh, yeah? What you expect me to do,
Mitch? Kill and eat
him to keep him quiet?
What do I expect you
to do? The right thing.
Can you say that again? It's
amazing coming out of your mouth.
Look, I'm just trying to help.
You know, I don't have the
UBA apparatus at my disposal.
And my money is not good
in that town anymore.
Why don't you take a big step
back and think about this?
This is your fault.
You can try and pretend
like Fred's the bad guy,
but there are no nasty
stories without you, pal.
Well, you made some pretty
big fucking promises.
Yeah? Fred, so bad he had to go.
Or maybe you just wanted his
job. Well, congratulations.
I'm glad that it is so easy for you
to sit in that big room full of straw,
judging me, when you should be doing
what you promised and spin it into gold.
You're the CEO. Do what
a CEO does: handle it.
Handle the suit. Make it go away.
Keep these awful
stories out of the press
and leave me the fuck
alone so I can live my life.
Whatever miserable
scraps are left of it.
[call ends]
Hey, I need a second.
Can it wait?
Uh, it has waited two weeks in
quarantine in China and then some.
What's another couple of hours?
I have to get to Stella's.
But that's why it can't wait. Sooner
you agree, sooner you're upstairs.
Two minutes.
Don't worry. You're not
the topic of conversation.
And why the fuck not?
I want to be the topic
of conversation for once.
I did a lot of thinking
trapped in that little box.
Oh, my God, Daniel. Beijing
Hilton is not a little box.
- We've talked
- I'm not talking about the Hilton.
I'm talking about my life.
I don't have a 50-minute
hour. I have two minutes.
I'll make it quick because I
didn't come here for therapy.
- Look.
- [sighs]
There is a pattern of behavior
around here that, to put it kindly,
often excuses the bad
behavior of white folks
and disadvantages the
people of color, namely me.
And you know it too.
I mean, at least George Wallace had
the courtesy to tell you to your face.
I'm done turning the other cheek.
Okay, okay.
Of course I know it.
Sure it's not lost on you
that I was only put in charge
after everything had gone to shit
and failure was damn near certain.
So I get it.
But look, I am I'm [chuckles]
happier to have the
job in this situation
than to be shut out in
the name of fairness.
And all I ask is that,
when you talk to Stella,
you push for me to moderate.
Okay. You're right. I
will plead your case.
Now I have to get up there.
There should be some
Black voice up there.
And it's not gonna come
from one of the candidates.
I'll do what I can.
You You're not
gonna fire me over this?
Oh, no. Come on, Yanko, no. But, um
You know, the backlash
has gotten out of hand.
It's just one of those things. We
know you didn't mean anything by it.
But we gotta nip that
thing in the bud, okay?
So, you're gonna have to
apologize on the show tomorrow.
So you want me to say I'm sorry.
- Yeah. You gotta be.
- Okay, I still don't I don't understand
why it's a bad thing for me to call
something my spirit animal, okay?
And by the way, a whole
week went by, nobody cared.
Well, they care now, and we care.
How am I supposed to feel sorry for
something that doesn't make sense?
- I mean, it's not like I did a rain dance.
- Oh, my God.
You know what? It's It's,
um It's appropriation.
You're not Native American.
It's like if someone who wasn't
Cuban was appropriating Cuban things.
That doesn't bother me. I don't
care. Look, for the record,
I have no problem apologizing when
I believe I've done something wrong,
but you honestly want me to apologize
for something if I don't even mean it?
In a perfect world,
you understand that
what you did is wrong,
you learn from it, and you apologize.
It's fine.
All right, fine. I'll do
it. I I You know, I
- I don't push back like this, you know.
- No, I know. I know.
Okay, and I'm sorry to be so combative,
but it hurts to be this misunderstood.
Th-Thanks for, uh
Thanks for coming in.
I don't even think the guy who
tweeted it was Native American.
[Mia] Okay. I'll see you downstairs.
- [Stella sighing] Oh, God.
- [chuckles] He means well.
[desk motor whirs]
Um, look, can I bend your
ear about something else?
Bend away.
What do you think about
Daniel moderating the debate?
Everyone and their mother's
been lobbying for this,
like I have some sort of choice to make.
We have to use Eric, obviously,
and Cory's made it clear
that he wants it to be Alex.
It should be Noorean, by the way.
Best ratings on UBANC, warm and wonky.
But there can't be an equal number
of candidates and moderators.
I'm sorry. There just
isn't room for Daniel.
Daniel feels minimized on a grand scale,
you know, relegated to the breezy stuff.
- And it it
- It's The Twist.
The breeze makes it twist.
Right, but it's not
just the breezy stuff.
Daniel feels like he's only asked
to report on diverse stories,
which, if we're being honest,
don't get as much airtime.
He thinks this is a racial thing?
- A homophobic thing.
- You know what?
I'm not gonna put words in his
mouth, but I'll give you my opinion.
Daniel Henderson can moderate this
debate as well as anybody we have,
and he's got a really
important perspective.
Not everyone can be John or Paul.
Some people have to be Ringo.
There's no shame in that.
In my opinion, Daniel's reached
the level of his charisma,
which, to be clear, is
hosting the nine o'clock hour
on a major television network.
It's not exactly an insult.
He's really good.
Everybody who's made it to this
level was the star somewhere else,
but in a universe full of stars, I
don't think he has the "it" factor.
What's most important is
that it's unique to you.
- To who you are.
- Mm-hmm.
TV's, like, 90 years old.
The only thing you or anyone can
do that hasn't been done before
- is offer their perspective.
- Mm-hmm. I agree.
I think people want to know who you are.
- Mm-hmm.
- Hey, great show today.
- Thank you.
- Yes. Hell of a start, huh?
[Stella] Yeah, amazing.
- Um, listen
- Yes?
- About this debate
- [Alex] Mm-hmm.
I hear you don't want to do it.
But can I just tell you why
we think it's so important?
You Yes.
It's not about drawing viewers,
because all eyes will
already be on UBA that night,
but with all of our recent troubles,
it's imperative to show that we can
still deliver good quality content.
And nothing says quality more
than you, Alex, and you'll kill it.
And you'll get a ton of juice off of it.
You think I need juice?
I'm not particularly
saying you need juice,
but, you know, who
doesn't need some juice?
I think there are other people
here with a lot more to prove.
- We very much appreciate the ask.
- Yeah, but no.
[whispers] Okay.
- [normal voice] I hear you.
- [Alex] Mmm.
But just think about it,
for me. That's all I ask.
- [inhales deeply]
- Gonna let you guys get back to it.
[gasps] Wow.
I mean, who is that punk that
second-guesses every single thing I say?
- God. [sighs]
- Well, she's the president of UBA News.
Cory clearly thinks a lot of her,
because he paid a lot for DADA Media
to absorb it and her into the network
Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot.
I mean, seriously, where
the fuck does she get off?
I'm supposed to listen to her?
I have sweaters older than her.
Well, age and maturity
aren't the same thing.
Chip, that's not what I'm saying.
She just hasn't She hasn't
gone through enough shit.
You know, she hasn't had enough pain
to be bossing all of us around
who have been through it.
You know, she just I don't know.
She's got this attitude about her
like she's this arbiter of morality.
Okay, I think you might
be rushing to judgment.
She thought bringing you back here
was a crazy idea, which is bullshit.
- She thinks I shouldn't be here?
- No, you should be here.
You're missing the point.
She just doesn't get it.
Who Who else thinks that?
Nobody. Okay, never mind.
Chip, just forget that I said it.
Please don't give it another thought.
I was just trying to make a point
you weren't hearing fast enough.
- It looks good.
- [Professor Viola speaking on laptop]
He looks very credible.
Okay, uh, I will translate.
[speaking Italian]
[Paola] Okay, so, here he's saying that
the criminal justice system in Italy
was not written with women in mind.
- Of course. So, I ask him
- [Paola speaking on laptop]
if there were any noteworthy examples
of men and women being
treated differently.
And he says, yes, of course,
there are many examples.
And so
I'm bringing up Amanda Knox.
- Hmm.
- [Professor Viola speaking]
And that just got him talking
and talking and talking.
And, you know, there is
a lot of good stuff here.
Yeah, that was really smart.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It was.
Okay, keep watching, and
the food will be ready soon.
Here are the noodles.
Here's the sauce. Enjoy.
That's it? Really?
- Well
- That's where the service stops.
Ooh, wow, you're two
inches from the finish line,
and you're not gonna serve me.
- [chuckling] Well, I made the food.
- [sighs] Okay.
That's as grateful as I get.
Well, I am never coming
back to this establishment.
- [laughs]
- The service is terrible.
[chuckles] And you took
Look at how much you took.
- You left very little.
- Mmm. Come here.
- Don't do that.
- You're so
Here. The fork is in the drawer.
[Bernie Sanders] Our campaign
is thinking big and not small.
[Mia] So we'll see you tomorrow.
Great job today. Thank you.
Did you talk to Stella?
I did. It's not in the cards this time.
We've got the Phoenix debate next month.
- If I were you, I would focus on
- She said no? Did she say why?
Okay, well, uh
She loves you, but the
network is looking to showcase
some other talents at
this particular moment.
Okay, are they going with a
different Black journalist?
A different gay journalist?
- Uh, hey. Good night.
- Good night.
I actually don't think
it's what you're thinking.
Okay. So then what is it, then?
Stella doesn't think you have
enough of the "it" factor.
- Enough of the "it" factor?
- I probably shouldn't be telling you this,
but I think that Stella would prefer
you think that she's
blind to your charms
than she's a bigot.
A person could be blind to my
charms because they are a bigot.
How'd you respond?
She knows I think
she's being ridiculous.
[Cory] Listen, Earl,
don't overcomplicate this.
All I need you to do is find out
what stories Fred's trying to plant,
where he's planting them, how he's
doing it, and if we can stop them.
But nothing extrajudicial.
[Earl] Yeah, okay. I'll get back to you.
If it isn't the pride of West
Virginia and the 15th floor.
I don't know who's moderating.
I don't mean to sound full of
myself, but that's beneath me now.
This isn't about that.
- Can I come in?
- Yeah, sure.
Can I get you a drink?
Uh, no, I was Just
wanna talk for a minute.
Something wrong?
No, no.
Are you gonna sit down?
[chuckles] Uh, okay.
[clears throat]
Look, I know that our
friendship has suffered
over the last little bit with
everything that's happened,
and I I'm not okay with that.
And I hope that you're
not okay with that either.
No. No, I'm not.
But, um, hey, let's consider
the slate wiped clean.
- That's it?
- That's it. It was that simple.
Well, I don't want you to say
that the slate is wiped clean
if the slate is not wiped clean,
because it sounds a little bit
like you're trying to shut me up.
Bradley, I don't know who's
moderating the fucking debate.
This is not about the debate, Cory.
If you're not gonna treat me like
the CEO when you're furious at me,
please don't treat me like a
CEO when you try to make up.
Okay, fine. I was pissed
at you at New Year's Eve.
And I've been a little bit
aggressive and abrasive towards you
for the past six weeks.
And And I I wanna apologize.
And And just because I'm abrasive
doesn't mean that I don't care
about our fucking friendship.
All right, that wasn't any good.
I Let me just try that again.
And don't look at me like that
when I'm trying to do this.
[sighs] I was not thrilled with
you for the past month and a half.
But I have come to realize that I
haven't been entirely fair about it.
And I know that you're the CEO and
and that my needs aren't always
that you can't have a direct
line to all my needs and concerns,
- 'cause you're juggling a lot.
- I have been pretty good to you.
But I did have a reason to be angry.
I hope that's not what you're saying.
I am not saying that. Absolutely.
Can we just get the
fuck over this, Cory?
Love is never being
able to say you're sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. [sighs]
I really am sorry.
Oh, fuck.
This is it. This is just all part of
the Bradley Jackson ride, isn't it?
You know I'm never gonna be your enemy.
I'm never going to let that happen.
I only want what's best for you.
And for some inscrutable reason, you
won't just trust that that's true.
I'm not saying I didn't do anything
wrong. I did, and I'm sorry.
But I I needed you to
understand that I had my reasons.
And if you have an issue with
me or with anybody in the future,
if you could just try to see your
way to not assume the worst from me.
To not channel whatever it is that
you're feeling through that that
Beautiful little anger prism that lives
in your heart and makes you so exciting,
and know that I am
there to help you solve,
or at least help you
get through any problems.
I'm on your side.
[Bradley sighs]
Besides, I'm too old to have enemies.
It's weird when you're 51 years
old and you got enemies. So
Anger wasn't really what I was feeling.
Anger is just what I
know what to do with.
- [Cory scoffs]
- But hurt
And you didn't even do
anything, specifically,
it just hurt because it was you.
[Cory sighs]
[inhales deeply]
As far as moderator goes
- Oh, gosh, don't
- No, I love that you want it.
But a lot of people want
it, and Alex just came back.
She made a splashy return, so
that's probably gonna happen.
And I don't see using
two straight white women.
Thank you for telling me.
And I really I really
appreciate everything you just said.
Well, you know where I live.
I do.
- Did you call?
- No, I didn't.
I was excited to tell you what happened.
And you said you weren't doing anything.
Oh, well, then it's a good
thing I was telling the truth.
- Drink?
- [chuckles] No, I'm good.
But I wanted to tell
you I took your advice,
and it went really well.
It did? You're getting the debate?
No, um, but we made up.
Like, we actually made up.
- Well, that's good.
- Yeah, it's good.
And we didn't even really
talk about the debate.
He You know, he knew
I was there to work him,
but he didn't really rake
me over the coals about it.
And he offered a little context,
but I I didn't pursue it
because I didn't want to
ruin everything with work.
But I I get it.
There's a lot of factors at play,
you know, business stuff, optics stuff,
and, uh, it make sense
that Alex is gonna do it.
You know, you can't trot
out two straight white women,
especially if Bloomberg
is gonna be up there.
You're going to really need diversity
to ask about, um, stop and frisk.
Bradley, you just
called yourself straight.
Yeah, that's because to
most of the world, I am.
And why is that exactly?
Because most of the time I'm straight.
Isn't it sort of antiquated to try
and nail this thing down so firmly?
Isn't sexually fluid a a thing?
Is that what you're saying you are?
[Bradley] No, I'm not
saying I'm anything.
I don't define every single
thing I do. I'm a sexual person.
I once had a three-way with two
men. Does that make me a a
A slut?
This is not funny.
Well it's not funny to me, either.
Then why are you laughing?
Because I am amazed that you have
it so easy and you make it so hard.
I have it easy?
What am I supposed to do, go
into Stella's office and say,
"I'm a gay bisexual type.
I want the debate. Now."
We're talking about a situation
where you being different can
work to your advantage now.
I kept my private life to
myself because I had to.
It was 1997, and it was painful.
And it sucked.
But I slowly, quietly tried to
live a life that was more truthful.
Not with the world, but
with my inner circle.
But people talk.
They're fascinated by who's gay and
who's not for some fucking reason.
Next thing I know, YDA is
handing me my walking papers.
- They fired you?
- Of course they did.
Why would I have quit that job
at at that point in my career?
I mean, it wasn't explicit. They
didn't literally hand me a pink slip.
But when you're not wanted, people
find a way of letting you know.
And, I don't know,
I have to tell you there
is something inside me
that wants to resent you for
not being grateful for this.
I see someone who is
walking the same path,
honestly, a path I helped lay.
And it's a little annoying,
and I'm envious. That's it.
I lost a job for being
gay. You should embrace it.
I mean, it's not like
you would be lying.
I'm just not interested in
using my identity like that.
I'm I'm just not.
You're not interested in
it it being your identity.
But you don't seem to mind
[in Southern accent] identifying
yourself as a Southerner.
What do you mean by that?
[normal voice] I think you
grew up in a part of the country
that didn't accept people
like me and possibly you.
And I think that you are repressed,
if you want my honest opinion.
You know, this was a mistake.
- Go live in your delusional world
- I'm not delusional, Laura.
And I'm not a country bumpkin,
and I'm not fucking repressed.
[breathing heavily]
- You're gonna have to pay for that.
- Well, you better start a tab.
'Cause I'm gonna be breaking a lot of
shit around here. I'm not repressed.
I guess you'll have to find some
other woman's vases to break then.
Fine. I'll start now.
[door slams]
[Daniel] How you feeling?
[sighs, scoffs] Like I'm about to eat
shit for reasons I don't understand.
And you?
Like I'm always eating shit
for reasons I don't understand.
At least you're not being
accused of being racist.
I mean, I don't think I've used
that phrase, "spirit animal,"
before, like, a week ago.
I thought that was just
something people said.
People are so caught up
in their own nonsense.
It takes up so much space in their head.
There's no room for anyone else unless
they put 'em in these little boxes.
I get it. But what I don't understand is
how'd they decide
which box I belonged in?
That's the thing that's tying
my brain in this Gordian knot.
Like, how did I become Daniel,
the guy without the "it" factor?
[floor director] Back
in 30 seconds, people.
Well, I wish I could help,
but just about that time for Yanko,
the racially insensitive Cuban weatherman,
to eat that shit.
[clears throat]
[Donny] Stand by, 1.
Take it, 1.
[Bradley] Vermont
senator Bernie Sanders
Mia, um, I have no
clue why he called me,
but Bernadette Peters's agent just
told me she's not gonna make it in time.
So much for special surprises.
Okay, let's just get
a surprise at least.
Talk to Matt. Try to wrangle somebody
who's already in the building.
- He'll know who's here this early. Hurry.
- Got it. Got it. Okay.
[Bradley] What happened to COVID-18?
Hey, uh, so Bullard is pre-taping
right now upstairs with Stern.
- Shit. Yes. Brilliant. Yeah.
- Okay. Yeah. It's on 8.
- Thank you.
- [clicks tongue] Okay.
- What you doing?
- Vermont senator
I was telling her Bullard's
doing a pre-tape with Stern.
Howard was talking
about it last week, so
Don't undermine me with my staff.
- coverage tonight on UBA Evening News.
- I was trying to help.
Then don't fucking
undermine my authority.
Do you not want me here?
illness caused by
the novel coronavirus
that's making its way across the globe.
COVID-19 is what they're calling it.
And that's your update for
today in the eight o'clock hour.
Everything okay?
135 people quarantined
on, uh, the Diamond Princess.
Hunky dory.
- Not the vacation people had in mind
- Just need a new special guest.
Absolutely not. No.
Uh, before we move on, you
wanted to say something, Yanko?
Yes, I do. I-I-I do. I
So, uh, back on Groundhog Day
I I, uh, flippantly used
the term "spirit animal"
to describe how I felt about, uh
About Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog.
And, uh, since then, it's been
brought to my attention that,
as somebody without any
Native American heritage,
that that for me to use that term,
that it might be
considered, uh, insensitive,
- as it misappropriates
- Of course he said "might be." Fuck.
what many Native Americans,
uh, hold to be sacred,
culturally and spiritually.
Those who know me best, uh, which
I hope includes our regular viewers,
know that I I'd never
say something that
To intentionally, uh, make
light of another culture,
and it pains me to know that
- That's not gonna make #YankYanko go away.
- some of you
You're done going easy
on your weatherman.
- And for that I sincerely apologize.
- I'm using your office.
And I will continue to to
try to learn and do better.
- Hey. Good morning, Cory.
- All right.
So where do we stand
on the, uh, moderators?
- This has to get done today.
- Eric's a go.
So is Deena Pham from the Alt
Weekly for the local angle.
- And?
- I'm leading with what I know.
If you're asking about
Alex, she won't do it.
I mean, I'll say it again, Noorean.
But if that doesn't do it for you,
there's Daniel, Roger, Bradley.
They've all made it clear
that they'd kill for it.
Jesus. God.
All I am trying to do is get us
to mid-March in one fucking piece
so we can launch this streaming
service, which the world is mad about,
like we're gonna force-feed them
content to make human foie gras.
So if I can't count on you to do
this, why did I give you the job?
You didn't have to sell us your company.
You chose this shit. This is the job.
You know, I've been wondering
the same thing myself.
Why did you bring me on?
What was the point if you weren't
gonna listen to anything I say?
So you can parade an Asian woman around
and get the social capital
from pretending you cared?
Don't just pay lip
service to empowering me.
Either really do it or let me walk.
Alex was never my choice for anything.
If that's who you want, do it yourself.
You are underestimating me,
and you're underestimating Alex.
So cut that shit. Talent is talent.
And understanding that is
an executive's only talent.
Generational talents
on multi-year contracts
who happen to meet your exacting
standards, good fucking luck.
So make this work now or don't.
And see who you're spiting.
Got it. Everything done the same by
a young, Asian woman equals different.
- [phone buzzing]
- Oh, f [sighs]
- Yeah?
- It's Earl.
Well, that was quick.
Didn't take long to see the genie wasn't
going back in to retract the stories.
Just too many blogs,
sites, papers, whatever.
It won't be the Times,
but someone will publish.
People are rotten. It's
why I have a business.
Only thing I can see doing, the
extrajudicial being off the table,
is go directly to Fred,
which you didn't want me to do, correct?
Yeah. Thanks.
I'm looking forward to The Twist.
- Hey, you.
- Hey.
- How you doing?
- Good. Good.
- How are you?
- Good, good.
- Just getting through the show.
- Yeah.
With a lot of, uh, "Welcome
back, Alex" over the top, but
It's gotta be a lot. And then
the debate prep is That's
Oh, yeah. No, I'm
I'm not doing the debate.
- What do you mean? You turned it down?
- I'm not doing it. I did.
And listen, um if you want to do it,
I would throw yourself at it right now
because she's like a
dog with a bone. Sh
[floor director] Alex,
you're up in a minute.
- To be continued.
- Okay.
Gayle. Yeah, is Stella still here?
Uh, I saw her a minute ago.
- How much longer do I have?
- About six minutes. Why?
I'll be right back.
[floor director] Okay,
we're back in seven seconds.
What's the pianist doing? Bernadette's
not here. We killed the song.
Camera 2.
[Daniel] And we are so
happy to have Alex back,
as you can tell from all the great
guests we've had already this week.
- Daniel, what are you doing?
- Uh, you know
- [Mia] Get back on script.
- it's an interesting time in America.
- [Donny] What the hell is happening?
- We, the people,
are asking tough questions.
- The fuck?
- Our candidates
- Isabella?
- Uh, I had Howard Stern.
And we're just all looking to live
- [Mia] Stick with it. Stick with it.
- Stick with it.
[piano music starts]
And when I think of
the American dream
I think of one person in particular.
And so this song is in her honor.
- [Donny] I don't see copy for this.
- ["America" playing on piano]
Far ♪
We've been traveling far ♪
Good God.
Without a home ♪
- Is this normal?
- No.
But not without a star ♪
Free ♪
Only want to be free ♪
We huddle close ♪
Hang on to a dream ♪
On the boats and on the planes ♪
They're comin' to America ♪
[Bradley] Stella. Hey. Um
I have something to say.
Can you talk in my dressing room?
It won't take long. I have
to be back on air in a minute.
- Sure. What the hell.
- Great.
[Bradley whispers] Yeah.
[normal voice] So, um
[Stella sighs]
- I want to talk to you about the debate.
- Oh, Christ.
Look, I know everybody is coming at you,
and I don't need to come at you too.
And I'm not gonna argue
my political acumen
or my intellectual merits
or any of that bullshit.
Q-Quite frankly, I know that you
want Alex to moderate the debate,
and I respect that, and I
think she would be great.
However, I think that I can offer
a perspective that Alex
doesn't and that Eric doesn't.
And this is just something I
barely acknowledge about myself
because, quite honestly, I just
don't know how I feel about it.
But I want to be truthful.
from a Southern, conservative family.
And I think it would be more
inclusive if I asked questions
from, um, the background of
a person who comes from a
c-conservative, Southern background,
I mean, you know,
questions they might ask.
Today ♪
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
[Daniel, Yanko, crew] Today, today ♪
Today ♪
Today ♪
[Daniel] Today ♪
My country 'tis of thee ♪
Sweet land of liberty ♪
Of thee I sing ♪
We should, uh We should
take him out for a drink later.
Of thee I sing ♪
Today ♪
Today ♪
- Stella.
- Yeah? What's up?
I sent Unilever
yesterday's TMS overnight.
- Uh-huh.
- They just made a huge buy for Dove.
They hadn't bought
since before Alex left.
Wow. That's Glad to hear it.
- Big week for us. Is that Daniel singing?
- [Daniel singing in distance]
But seriously, it's gonna be the best
February sweeps since I've been here.
I think we'll get CPM up to 30%
for the foreseeable, thanks to Alex.
- Hmm.
- Thanks to you.
- [chuckles]
- Swing by later.
- I'll show you the numbers.
- Okay, cool.
Today ♪
[crew cheering, whooping]
Three, give me Daniel. Take
3. Four, wide. Take it, 4.
[Alex] God!
- Cut to Alex. Cut to Alex.
- Wow! What?
Oh, my gosh!
- [Donny] Here comes Alex. Two, get her.
- What on earth just happened?
- [Alex] Daniel! Oh, my God! Daniel!
- [Daniel] For you, Alex.
- [Donny] Nice job. Stay with her.
- That was incredible!
- Thank you for that.
- Welcome back.
So sweet.
I mean, God, I knew you
had a voice, but that was
Oh, my gosh. Are you Bradley? Yanko?
- Hey, great show.
- Thanks, man.
What the fuck was that, Bojangles?
- [knocks]
- Yeah!
Oh, my God. Stella,
why are you doing this?
I-I'm giving you the
answer that you want.
I'm gonna tell Cory you tried. I promise.
[Stella sighs]
Alex, I know you have way
more experience than I do,
but you don't know what I want.
Because what I want in its broadest
terms has very little to do with you.
What I want is to change things here.
[Alex] Mm-hmm.
Put yourself in my shoes.
Alex. Alex, look at me.
If you were me, wouldn't
you want to start fresh?
- I I suppose I would.
- Okay.
I think we would all love to start fresh,
but we don't all have that opportunity.
- Right.
- I am what I am.
All right. Here it is.
I'm young. I get it.
- I'd be annoyed by me too, if I were you
- No, no, no, no.
No, that's not why I'm saying
no. Don't Mm-mmm. Don't even
- Okay, just hear me out.
- Yes, okay.
This place was a rotten mess, and
you were living in it for 15 years.
I said it was a rotten mess. I said it.
I know I shouldn't lump
you into the rotten mess,
because you tried to
change it. You tried.
- Yes.
- That's the same thing I want.
You tried. But the jury's still out
as to whether or not you've succeeded.
And I'm here as a result.
- I'm sorry about that.
- Excuse me.
Wow. Yes. Yes.
- And I'm 33.
- [Alex sighs]
And, you know, I don't know
the things I don't know.
I know that. But I do know some
things that other people don't know,
and other people don't
always want to know that.
- You know what I mean?
- I do. Mm-hmm. Yep. No, I do. I do.
I know you don't want to
or need to do this debate,
but I want you to do it.
And the reason why is because of exactly
what you did nine months ago
here that changed everything,
that brought me here in front
of you asking you to do this.
You earned a connection to
the women of this country.
I'm not I'm not quite
sure that that's true.
It is. You mean something, Alex.
You do. As a leader, as a feminist.
And I want you to be these things for me.
And, by the way, if you're
looking for a brand, there it is.
I don't know why you don't
want to take that mantle,
because nine months
ago you opened a door,
and you need to walk through it now.
And we both know that. Okay?
[whispers] Okay.
Anyway, it was a great show today.
Thank you.
[phone ringing]
Hey, the professor you so kindly got
me the interview with, he just called.
He has coronavirus.
Uh, I was with him for a few hours.
Now, I don't know if I did get it,
if I could have given it to you,
but I was with you for
a few hours in a car.
It's totally crazy. It's bad.
There are many cases,
and it's everywhere.
[sighs] Yeah. Fuck.
They are saying we have to quarantine.
And, uh, it's a long
time to spend alone.
Uh, we could work on the documentary.
What do you think?
[Mitch sighs]
I know I have a lot of
nerve showing up here.
Uh, I-I-I got you this.
It's a gift card. Uh, $300.
I didn't know what to I
Look, I don't know who I am.
I don't I don't I know
I'm a total pain in the ass,
but I just I want to tell you that
because I want you to
know that I know that I am.
Please. Please.
I need a minute with Cybil, if
I can get you to clear the room.
Uh thank you.
Well, this is a new one
on me. I can only imagine.
I need your help.
Fred is planting nasty stories
about Hannah Shoenfeld in the press.
I mean, it's gross. I don't
care if her father is suing us.
Frankly, I-I understand. I
Look, I get it. Losing a
child is unimaginable pain.
But it is not our responsibility
to make it okay for this poor guy.
And trust me, it won't
make it okay for him.
Nothing will. So, what do
you want me to do about it?
I want you to talk to Fred and
tell him to kill the stories.
He's not gonna listen to
me, and you're friends
That guy's not my friend.
The last time I talked to him,
he sat me down and told me that you were
objectively the best business decision.
Now, I really don't think so.
You let the talent walk all over you,
if you can call Bradley Jackson talent,
and you pushed us hard to pay out Fred
rather than have a truly
independent investigation.
That brings up all sorts of questions.
Questions I don't need answered.
This is a business, not a morality play.
So don't lay that trip on me.
If the stories he's
planting aren't true,
then the girl's family will have a
hell of a libel case on their hands.
The fact that you showed up here
rather than calling Fred directly
tells me everything I need to know
about why Fred pushed so hard for you
when he clearly hated
you with a passion.
Two shitty peas in one shitty pod.
I guess it's time to face the fact
that actions have consequences,
and I keep my temple clean.
So whatever those consequences
are is really none of my business.
Give my regards to Fred.
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