The Neighborhood (2018) s07e08 Episode Script

1
Hola, damas y caballeros.
Bienvenidos. I'm Chuy.
Can I get you all started
with some margaritas?
Oh, God yes. Margarita me.
16 ounces or 24?
You know what? It's been
one of those weeks at work.
I'll take a 24.
(LAUGHS) Ooh, me, too.
Turn up.
Just make mine skinny.
Um, I'll have a Coke and the car keys.
Hey, guys, this round's on me.
Daphne is officially
enrolled in day care,
and that means that Marty's
paternity leave is finally over.
(GEMMA LAUGHS)
Aw. I think it's sweet
how you miss working
with your baby boy.
(SCOFFS) What I miss
is leaving at 3:00.
(CHUCKLES)
Well, good for you,
Calvin, but, you know,
- we have reason to celebrate, too.
- Ooh.
Our little amigo Grovercito
got an A on his Spanish paper.
- What? Congrats! All right now.
- CALVIN: Okay, Grover.
Okay, four margaritas, and
a skinny for the gentleman.
Ah, gracias.
Uh, can I interest you
all in some appetizers?
- Oh, yeah.
- Yes. Yeah.
Oh, you know what? Grover,
why don't you use some
of that grade-A Spanish
to order us some starters?
- Ah, yes.
- Yeah.
Okay, I can do that. (CLEARS THROAT)
Hola, Chuy.
Whoa! (OTHERS CHEER)
He's fluent. He's fluent.
Right. (LAUGHS)
Quiero nachos en biblioteca
y chaqueta de naranja.
Okay. Uh, you ordered nachos
in a library with an orange jacket.
I don't think so.
(LAUGHS)
- He-He's just getting warmed up, right?
- Yeah.
Tal vez quieras guacamole?
Um, zapatos con queso.
And that'll be for the whole table.
Grover, y-you just ordered
cheese shoes for the table.
You know, I'm-I'm just
good with anything.
Um, I've got to go use el pollo.
Even I know the boy just said
he's going to use the chicken.
Yeah.
Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
Welcome to the hood. ♪
♪
I can't. I can't do it.
I can't send Daphne
to a place like this.
Look at these Yelp reviews
for Miss Sandra's Day Care.
Uh
Didn't you pick this place
because of the reviews?
Yes, yes, but-but look at this.
All five stars?
(LAUGHS) There's no way that's legit.
No, no, you see,
the place you want is one that
has four and a half stars.
Marty, you had her enrolled
in the place with
four and a half stars
and you cancelled it because
it wasn't good enough.
No, no, no, that's
'cause I visited it, Dad.
That place had monkey
bars. Monkey bars.
What's wrong with monkey bars?
Nothing, if you like
dislocated baby shoulders.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
we're back at square one.
Monday is out. Okay, uh, Marty,
you've cancelled on
five different places.
This could go on forever.
No day care's gonna be good enough.
It's just such a leap of faith, Dad.
Leaving my baby with strangers.
You know, I agree, Marty.
Who could leave this
precious, little angel?
Oh, look at those little boogie
woogies in your nosey wosey.
You know
you guys make a good point.
And I just wish there was
somebody that Daphne knew
who could spend time with
her her during the day and
feed her, play games with her
and read her a book. Hey
Take her to the zoo, clean
that little nosey wosey.
(BOTH LAUGH)
You know what? I have
got a crazy idea.
Oh, really?
Why don't I watch Daphne?
(STAMMERS)
Now, that is crazy
right there. I mean
Even though I can't
think of a better idea,
that's the thing about it.
I can't think of anything.
Mom, Mom, that would be so great.
Yeah. But-but your job.
What will you tell Gemma?
Ain't nobody thinking
about no damn Gemma.
I'm sorry, I just get very passionate
when I'm talking about my family.
I mean, it wouldn't be forever.
She's just so little right now.
Yes, she is.
See you at work Monday, son.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- Hey Malcolm.
Somebody's in a good mood.
Who, me? Uh, it ain't
no big deal, Mama.
I'm just a published author.
Oh, that's nice.
Oh, somebody spit up.
(LAUGHS)
Yeah, I just, uh,
- I wrote a story in my creative writing class
- Here's a wipe.
Thank you.
Anyway, as I was saying,
the-the professor, she liked
it so much, she suggested
I submit it to the USC literary
quarterly, The Trojan Horse.
Do you have the unscented
ones? I hate these.
The Trojan Horse, I said,
and they published it.
You know, I remember the last time
you was in The Trojan Horse.
You'd hit that walk-off
against Oregon State.
MALCOLM: Oh, no.
No, that was the Daily Trojan, Pop.
You know, I knew it was the
Trojan something like
No, no, that was a
school newspaper, Pop.
- This is creative writing.
- TINA: Shh.
(WHISPERING): You're
too loud. She might cry.
(STAMMERS) Man, I'm just saying,
I'm finally starting to
get some recognition.
Oh, my God. Thank you, Marty.
Did y'all go to that new
Mexican restaurant without me?
Oh, yeah.
(CHUCKLES) It was fantastic. We
gonna go back there Thursday.
- Oh.
- MALCOLM: Yeah, anyway, I'm just
gonna, uh, leave a copy here.
Y'all could read it if
you want to, or don't.
It's considered to
be very prestigious.
But no big deal.
You know? Ain't a big deal.
- Oh, wait!
- Yes?
- Did y'all try the mole enchiladas?
- Oh
TINA: Oh, yeah.
- My God, it was so good. Bomb.
- The mole enchiladas.
When Grover got that A in
Spanish, I was so excited.
But then when he tried to speak it
Let me guess no bueno?
I just have to ask, you didn't
give him that A because
you know, I'm your boss?
(CHUCKLES) No. I mean,
that paper was perfect,
but speaking the language yikes.
His accent is so bad
it actually offends me,
and I'm Filipino.
I wish you'd told me
my son was struggling.
Well, I wish you'd approved me
to teach summer school last year
so I wouldn't have had to
drive Uber for two months.
I'd keep that Uber
account if I were you.
Hey.
Oh, hey, Tina. What's up?
Well, I have got some great news.
I'm gonna be spending more
time with my grandbaby.
Oh, good.
Mm-hmm. We talking weekends?
No. Weekdays.
Weekday nights?
No.
I'm running out of day parts here.
(SIGHS) Okay. I'm so sorry, Gemma,
but I'm gonna have to
take a little sabbatical
so Marty can get back to work.
No, but, Tina, you know I don't
have anyone to replace you.
I know, but it-it just made more sense
that, you know, I watch Daphne.
And Calvin, you know,
he made all of these
really great points.
And now Calvin gets
Marty back full-time?
Yup. Win-win.
(LAUGHS)
You do see how that's
not a win for me.
That's why I only did two wins.
- Look, thank you for understanding, Gemma.
- Of course.
- Mm, you're the best.
- Oh.
- (GROANS)
- (LAUGHS)
Have a good day.
(LAUGHS)
Well played, Calvin Butler.
Well played.
Tina is one of my best teachers.
Ugh! Calvin can be so self-centered.
It's not my fault Marty had a baby,
and now he doesn't want
the baby in day care,
so Calvin tricked Tina
into watching the baby.
Nobody is thinking about me.
Okay. Gemma.
Just take a deep breath, okay?
You and I are going to
If you say meditate,
you are a dead man.
I'm sorry. It has just
been a really tough day.
You know last night wasn't a fluke?
Grover can't speak
Spanish in class, either.
Oh, no?
Maybe he freezes under pressure.
Do you think he has anxiety
issues? Does he need therapy?
Okay, okay. Gemma,
let's not jump to
Is it because of the
time he walked in on us?
I told him we were wrestling,
but I don't know if he bought it.
Gemma, pl
Please, stop.
(SIGHS)
I think there may be a
different answer here.
Uh, Grover
may have done well on
his homework because
I helped him with it.
- You did?
- Mm-hmm.
- How much help?
- Just a little.
I-I tweaked the beginning
and the end and
Well, you know, the middle
was just sitting there.
Dave!
I Look, I'm-I'm sorry,
okay? I didn't mean to.
It's just that Grover doesn't
have that killer instinct,
and he's got to keep his grades up
if he wants to get into
a good high school.
So you did the work?
Well, I mean, he chimed in with
stuff like, "Are you done?"
- And "Can I go?"
- Ugh.
Ugh.
My intentions were good. Dave,
we have to let Grover
sink or swim on his own.
Ooh he's gonna sink.
Like a rock.
Let's get it.
Hey, Pop. What's going on?
- Hey, what up, Malcolm?
- (CLEARS THROAT)
Hey, uh (CLEARS
THROAT) I'm just asking,
you know, no big deal, but
did you happen to
check out my piece in the T.H.?
Trojan Horse, Pop.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, yes.
Blown away.
Wh Blown away, man.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Okay, well, um (CHUCKLES)
Well, which part blew you away?
You know, it was the, um
the-the part about the cracks
- in the sidewalk being scars
- Being scars.
- Of a lost generation.
- Lost generation.
- Amazing.
- (LAUGHS)
Yup.
That was the third
sentence in the prologue.
A-And I was blown away.
I mean, I was blown away.
I had to take a break after that.
So you could watch the Laker game.
- Oh, come on, I mean, you get it.
- Yeah.
And Well, now,
look, here's the thing.
If the rest of it is anything
like that "scars" stuff,
I smell a Grammy.
Grammys are for music, Pop.
I mean, they give 'em
out for audiobooks.
(KNOCKING)
It's open.
Hey.
Oh, hey, Gemma. What's up?
Nothing, I just got the sudden urge
to snuggle that sweet
little baby of yours. May I?
Oh, please. Enjoy.
Ooh!
(GASPS) Hi! Oh!
She is getting so big. Oh.
It goes so fast, doesn't it?
You blink and they're off
to college. (CHUCKLES)
Yeah. That'd be more like a
coma than a blink, but yeah.
Aw. Don't let a minute of
this pass you by, because
(FUSSES) Oh. Oh.
I shouldn't have said
that. I just realized
you're about to go
back to work full-time.
Yeah, but my mom's gonna
be taking care of Daphne.
I know! And that's great.
At least someone will be there
to savor all the golden moments,
the ones you'll be missing.
Oh.
Like the first time
she sees a butterfly.
Oh, or takes her first steps.
Oh, or eats her first ice cream cone
where she gets that little
blob of vanilla on her nose
and it just drips and drips.
Well, yeah, but some of
those moments will happen
- over the weekend
- Probably not.
But hey, what are you gonna do?
Your boss needs you back at work.
Okay, my dad is not my
boss. We are equal partners.
Oh, that's right, I forgot.
Probably 'cause of the
way he bosses you around.
♪
Oh, hey, buddy.
Working on your español?
Uh, my what?
Your Spanish.
Oh, yeah. Yep, killing it.
(CHUCKLES) Great.
'Cause you know, I
will not be helping you anymore.
Okay. I don't need it.
Okay, good.
Are you sure about that answer?
Oh, the
the word for "door"
isn't "Dorito," is it?
No.
Okay, buddy, listen, I
I'm not gonna help you,
I'm just gonna erase
the things that need to be redone.
All right. You, uh
What are you doing?
I'm not writing Spanish,
I'm just erasing it.
Grover, can you give us a minute?
Yeah, no problem.
Uh, Dad, take all the time you need.
Dave, what is going on?
You have to let our son
make his own mistakes.
I know.
I know.
- Dave!
- I'm done! I'm done.
Hey, man, we need to talk.
Man-to-man.
Boss-to-boss.
If-if that's okay with you, Daddy.
What's on your mind?
Look, man, I am
co-owner of the Fusebox,
and I decide when it's time for me
to return to work full time,
and now is not that time.
What are you talking about, Marty?
Your paternity leave is over.
Yeah, but there's still so
many milestones I'd miss.
Like, what if I miss her first words?
(LAUGHS) First words are overrated.
Your first words was "doo-doo."
Wait, Mama said my
first word was "rocket."
How would I know? I was at work.
Look
where is all this coming from, Marty?
Gemma came over and made me realize
how precious this time is.
Gemma came over?
Yeah, she really opened my eyes, Dad.
She did, did she?
Well, how helpful.
- Okay. All right.
- Yeah.
- Thank you for getting it, man.
- Okay.
- All right. Thanks, Daddy.
- All right.
Well played, Gemma Johnson.
Well played.
Oh, hey, Malcolm. Whoa!
What you doing?
Dave, why are you just sitting
in your car like that?
Uh, just making sure that
Grover fails Spanish.
Okay, well, I'm-a leave
you to that, then. Well
Were you putting a book in my library?
No, no, it's not a book, exactly.
It's a, uh, a literary journal.
Oh, yeah. The Trojan Horse.
I didn't know a new issue was out.
Well, it is. Hot off the presses.
There's a bookmark in it.
Is there? Uh, let me get that
up out of there. Well,
hold on, hold on.
"A Rock in a Soft Place" by
by Malcolm L. Butler.
Whoa.
Eh, I just thought
some of our neighbors
might get a kick out of it, you know?
I-It's not that big a deal.
Not a big dea
Malcolm, this is huge.
Your family must be so proud of you.
Oh, they are. Yeah, yeah, my pops
has already gotten through
most of the first paragraph.
Which is a paragraph more
than my mama has read.
(CHUCKLES): Hold on. What?
Malcolm, this is unacceptable.
I, for one, am honored
to have the opportunity
to gaze into your soul.
Thank you?
♪
Gemma.
Calvin!
What are you doing?
Thought we should talk.
You know, clear the air.
(COUGHS)
Fine.
Start talking.
Look, I understand you got
a situation at your school.
And I feel for you.
But you're messing with my business.
Well, the school is my business.
And if I have to play dirty
to keep my best music teacher,
well, then, I'm gonna do
what I got to do.
You playing with fire, Gemma.
(LAUGHS): Oh, oh.
If you think you can bully
me, you got the wrong Johnson.
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
Hey, guys. What's up?
Nothing, I'm just getting
your girl Gemma straight here.
Oh, really, Calvin?
We're really doing this,
right here, right now?
- Oh, right here and right now. Of course
- Right here at this moment?
- Okay, okay.
- Wait. Wait. Oh, wait, wait.
Wait-wait a minute!
What is going on here?
Gemma convinced Marty to
stay on paternity leave
just so she could keep
you at her school.
- She manipulated him.
- Uh, me?
You manipulated Tina.
You used Daphne as bait
just so you could get her
to quit her job and babysit,
just so you could have Marty back
at your silly little Fusebox.
Did you just call the Fusebox silly?
Did I stutter?
- Okay, okay.
- No, no, no. Did I?
- Did I stutter?
- Get-get, get your girl. Get your girl.
- GEMMA: Yeah. Go ahead.
- Hold on, wait-wait a minute.
Wait a minute, now let
me get this straight.
You two have been acting
like selfish little brats
who only care about what benefits you?
(SCOFFS) Well, he was.
Okay, listen, I only
care about one thing.
- The school.
- Yes, the Fusebox. I
Daphne.
- Y Of course. Yes.
- Yeah, right. Duh.
Yeah, okay. Yes, no. That makes
that makes a lot of sense.
And the best thing for her
is to spend as much time
as possible with the people
who love her the most.
Her parents.
Baby, you know I agree with you.
Okay. But Marty and Courtney
both have full-time jobs.
I mean, what do you expect them to do,
bring the baby to the Fusebox?
(LAUGHS)
Calvin.
No.
Calvin. No, no, no, no, no
Calvin.
Oh, damn.
(CRYING)
Yeah, I missed you, too, Daphne.
Is that my wallet? Give me my wallet.
Marty.
Where is Ms. Yvette?
(MOUTHS) You not on the phone.
You get in here.
Okay. They throwing sippy cups.
Get in here.
I have margaritas. Ooh.
Ah, yes, Chuy, mi amigo.
(GLASS TAPPING)
If I may, a toast to my son Grover,
for earning a gentleman's C
on his Spanish paper.
- A paper he wrote sin ayuda.
- Mm.
And without any help.
That's what I just said, but anyhoo
(CHUCKLES) Uh, to
you, I raise a blended
- strawberry mango margarita.
- TINA: All right.
Now to Grover and Dave.
I'm proud of you both.
Gracias, mi amor.
I mean, he d-he does love you.
I It's progress. Drink up.
- Hey.
- MARTY: Hey.
W And that is not all.
I would be remiss if
I did not point out
that I am not the only parent
at this table whose son
has something to be proud of.
Oh, Dave, please don't. No, no, no.
M-Malcolm, Mal,
Mal-Mal-Mal-Malcolm
O-Okay. (STAMMERS)
has written a story that
will make you laugh, think
- and cry.
- Aw.
Okay, let's sit on down. No, no, no.
No, Mal-Malcolm, this
is an accomplishment,
and it should be
celebrated by the people
who love you the most.
And if you're embarrassed
to toot your own horn,
I have a few amigos
who will do it for you.
Guillermo, Esteban, Nestor, Jaime!
(MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYING) (WHOOPS)
Oh, come on, Dave,
why do you have to
embarrass the man like that?
You know he doesn't want to
make a big deal out of this.
Yeah. Actually, Mama, Pop,
I-I think I kind of do.
Look, if I'm being honest, I-I just
Okay, hey, can y'all give
us one second, please?
Thank you. Gracias, muchachos.
Love the hats. Yeah. Uh
look, I know you guys just
see me as an athlete, and
if I'm being honest, I was embarrassed
to put myself out there like
this, but getting published
makes me think I can be a writer.
I know I'm grown, but I still
want y'all to be proud of me.
Son. So, Mama,
Pop,
my sweet brother Marty,
- read the damn 11 pages!
- CALVIN: Okay.
All right, all right.
And you-and you know
I started it already.
I mean, that-that
first paragraph wow.
Wow.
Malcolm, we are so proud of you.
Dave? Come on, hand over the book.
Ah, I brought copies for everyone.
- Oh!
- CALVIN: Aw.
Guillermo! ¡Otra canción!
- (BAND STARTS PLAYING)
- Oh.