The Owl House (2020) s02e13 Episode Script

Any Sport in a Storm

It does look good as new.
And I have no idea what I'm doing.
"My duties are keeping me busy.
I entrust you to lead the Coven Heads today.
Consider this a test.
" Hmm.
You're all here.
We can get started.
Hey [grunts.]
Wha Where are you [grunts.]
I said wait! Come back here! Darius, Eberwolf, why is everyone leaving? We're scheduled to have a recruitment meeting.
Good morning to you too, little prince.
We've decided to reschedule the meeting.
So go play arts and crafts or whatever it is you do.
Looks like you've already started.
This is impressively bad.
Is this the old Golden Guard sigil? Of course it is.
And this is no way to treat the emperor's Nephew? I knew your predecessor.
He was my mentor.
One of the strongest witches I've ever known.
But you Hmm.
But Belos says I don't need magic to serve the coven.
And I say you don't deserve to wear that patch.
What should I do? How do I earn it? [groans.]
Sweet mother of Titans.
I-I don't know.
Find new recruits for the Emperor's Coven.
The best and the brightest witches in all the land.
Then, maybe, you can get this back.
I'll do it.
Of course you will.
You're very good at doing exactly what you're told.
[title music.]
[exhales repeatedly.]
After years of thinking I wasn't good enough, I finally found something I can be good at.
Something I wanna be good at.
Switching to the Plant Track was just the beginning.
I'm on my way to becoming the witch I wanna be.
I can do this! Right? Eye of the Liger, girl.
Knock 'em dead.
Back, back, back! [screams.]
[Luz, Gus groans.]
Thanks, Willow.
And that's why we try not to keep our lunches in the lockers.
So ready for the club fair, Willow? Mayhaps you'll join me and Amity in the Azura Book Club.
- Owie.
- Thanks.
But I'm interested in something with a little more drama, flare and face paint.
I'm so excited to hear the next words out of your mouth.
Flyer Derby! [commentator.]
Only Stabitha Jenkins and Old Gory are left.
Who will win? And it's Stabitha Jenkins with the winning flag! Ever since our Grudgby match, I've been playing it at home.
Today I'm starting Hexside's first Flyer Derby team.
Yeah! Woo-hoo! [chattering.]
Journey with us to a world of magic unlike any other.
Well, uh, a bit like this world, except toned down for ages six to 11.
Why isn't anyone interested? The art doesn't do it any favors.
Not judging a book by its cover is a baby rule even babies know.
Plus, you don't read Azura for the art.
There's so much magic in the words.
"Twice have I tarried at Tanabrack.
Yet e'er have I kept my troth to thee, Azura.
" Okay, the prose can be ornate.
But it's also the crackling emotions, the convoluted magic system, the smell of the pages.
[sniffs, snorts.]
Luz! [pants.]
I heard that [pants.]
Spill it, hermosa.
The author of Azura is having a signing this afternoon at the Book Nook.
Huh? You are much less excited than I imagined.
Uh, excuse me, I'm still here.
I'm just confused.
The author is human.
No, she's not.
She's from the Demon Realm.
How do you think I got my books? How do you think I got mine? Look.
Hey! [Luz.]
Can the author of Azura travel between realms? Get off me! You guys aren't cute! I still have more friends than you! Look at all these potential recruits.
I've never actually spoken to witches my age.
Teens are probably into the same things as me.
Like authority and rules.
Classmate, ignore the fact that we've never met.
What if I told you all your dreams could come true? And you'd just have to leave your home, friends, and family forever? [groans.]
Woo-hoo! You think these are cool? Not as cool as the Emperor's Coven.
I hear you get to sleep in till 6:00 a.
You! How would you like to rise to the top by joining the Emperor's Coven? Eh.
Not interested.
You aren't? I mean, do I wanna study different kinds of magic? Heck yes! But why is joining the Emperor's Coven my only option? When I get older I'm gonna give this system a long-overdue update.
What are you talking about? [gasps.]
It's okay, Puddles.
No, he didn't mean it.
No, no, no, no! No, Puddles, no! Let out your inner flying freak.
Once the Flyer Derby club is approved, we'll travel all across the Isles in rocking outfits and working as a team.
Good luck with that.
Professor Hermonculus.
I'm overseeing club approvals this year, and I just don't think Flyer Derby is worth investing in.
Just because it's not as well-known as Grudgby doesn't mean You misunderstand me.
I'm shutting it down unless you step down as captain.
I just don't think quitters make good leaders.
You're just mad that she dropped your class.
Give her a chance.
Put together a team for a friendly game of Flyer Derby after school.
If you can lead your team to victory, maybe I'll approve your club.
You can do this, Willow.
Don't let him beat you down.
But Amity and Luz are busy.
And I don't know where to find enough decent players this fast.
Calm down, flea-magnet.
Hey! [shrieks.]
- [shrieks.]
- Hey, you! [gasps, screams, grunts.]
Wanna join my Flyer Derby team? This is Gus Porter and I'm Willow Park, future captain of Hexside's first Flyer Derby team.
Nice to, uh, meet you.
Your flying was amazing.
You're a new student, right? Yeah, weird we've never seen you around.
What's your name? Uh [chirps.]
Caleb? Uh Caleb! Uh, Jasper Bloodwilliams.
I just transferred from uh The Toes? But I'm not here to play Fly Dooby, or whatever that is.
I have my own mission.
At least take a pamphlet.
Do you really think your club will attract the best and the brightest? Absolutely! Flyer Derby's not for the faint witch.
Then maybe I will give it a try.
Really? But, okay How do we evaluate others? A Witch's Duel? A maze full of traps? Oh! Leave everyone at the top of the mountain and see who makes it back to the bottom alive.
Um, we might not have time for all that, but you can help by attracting people with your sick sky skills.
I don't feel sick.
Hey, I don't know what kinda mission you're on, but it's been a tough year for Willow.
And she's really looking forward to making this team a thing.
Don't mess this up for her.
I can't believe we never uncovered this mystery before.
I always thought Mildred Featherwhyle sounded too delightful to be a real name.
Do you think she has her own portal? [gasps.]
Do you think she's related to that human guy? Philip? What if the author is Eda? She's been keeping it a secret this whole time because she's embarrassed by all the spelling errors.
Okay, these theories are a little unrealistic.
It's obviously your mother as a teenager, sent forward in time to train you in the ways of witchcraft.
Whatever it is, we're gonna find out soon.
Students of Hexside, got a Palisman, got a need for thrills, chills, and theatrics? Well, this could be you.
[all gasp.]
- Man, this Caleb guy is great.
- [all cheer.]
With him, I think we can really get our Derby team approved.
This girl will be a perfect candidate for the Emperor's Coven.
If there are more witches like her, we're set.
Hey, come on down! Allow me to introduce you to the best and the brightest of Hexside.
Look, Puddles, it's the friend you made before.
No, no.
Do not claw Mommy's face! Hmm.
Let's try this one more time.
Just a few months ago, I'd be considered the weak link on any team, but now I'm leading one.
Ooh! Okay, girl, don't let the power get to your head just yet.
Hmm? Caleb? [purrs.]
Where are you going? The field is this-a-way.
You said you'd find the best witches for this team.
But them? They're pathetic.
You just met them.
Give them a chance.
Well, where I come from, even chances have to be earned.
Especially if you're considered half-a-witch like me.
Sorry, Captain.
Good luck with your match.
Huh? [grunting.]
[screams, grunts.]
Huh? Sorry, I was distracted earlier.
I've been playing Grudgby for so long I needed to catch up on the latest Flyer Derby strats.
Those look complicated.
They are.
Whew! Okay, finally.
Got Puddles down for her nap.
Now I'm only scarred emotionally.
I thought you couldn't fly? So I can't fly like everyone else, but my way's more fun.
That's, uh, cool.
I guess.
Oh, what was that? I said it was cool! Gus is a natural speed demon, Skara's a strategic wizard, and Viney's the best healer in school.
And at one point or another, we've all been misjudged.
So, still think we're pathetic? Good.
Let's get our game faces on.
What do we do now, Amity? I don't know.
I've never found another store that sold those books.
We were so close.
I think that's her.
That's the author! Mildred Ow Featherwhyle? Hmm.
Follow her! Call Darius.
Darius, it's me.
What the? How did you get this number? Doesn't matter.
I've found some incredible recruits at Hexside.
I'm earning my place, just like you told me.
Of course you are.
I just wanted you to leave me alone.
- What was that? - [Willow.]
Caleb? Waiting on you, buddy.
I got to go, but you'll meet them soon.
Thanks for asking me to join, guys! I think we're gonna have a - [gasps.]
- Jerbo? Traitor.
fun afternoon.
All you got to do is fly high and snag some flags.
Let's see what you can do, Captain.
Gus, that was amazing! [chuckles.]
[groans, grunts.]
She's right there! Can't you see? Boo.
Whoa! Oops.
My hand slipped.
Go, go, go! [grunts.]
[all cheering.]
May I please have your team name? Shoot.
We never thought of a name.
The Emerald Entrails.
You know, because we're green, and there's more to us than you think.
Entrails! Entrails! Entrails team photo.
We're number one! [shutter clicks.]
I can't believe I almost bailed on you guys.
Today was amazing.
Thanks for giving me another shot.
Always nice making a new friend.
I had an opening for one.
We wouldn't have gotten here without you.
Yeah, I shouldn't have been so suspicious.
We can forget all about that when we play next time as a part of the Emperor's Coven.
The what? My name isn't Caleb.
It's Hunter.
And I'm the Emperor's right-hand man.
The Golden Guard.
You can't be serious? You're not the one Luz told us about, right? Yes, I am.
Yeah, this would usually look cooler with the cloak, but I don't have it at the moment.
Long story.
[all gasp.]
Whoa there, scouts.
I didn't give you orders to come here.
Darius sent us to collect your recruits.
Ah, okay.
Very good.
Then there won't be any delay in branding you with coven sigils and taking you away from your friends and family forever.
Hooray! [sobs.]
Okay, listen.
I'm sorry about this whole cell thing, but did you really have to punch Steve, Skara? I get it.
Emotions are running high.
Ice pack for Steve.
Well, I don't get it.
You're joining the best coven there is.
You can keep all your magic, you get free room and board, you can even play Flyer Derby on your day off.
Well, this year's day has already passed, but next year's is only 52 weeks away.
We don't care.
None of us want this.
You will eventually.
Trust me.
I'm your friend now.
Friends don't stab each other in the back.
Sure they do.
The Coven Heads do it all the time back at the castle.
Captain, you're on my side, right? I thought I could be good at this.
But we're here because I made a bad call.
I'm just half-a-witch Willow.
[all scream.]
[all scream, grunt.]
Darius, I did it! I found recruits.
Yep, and you're making me work on my day off.
Take this and quit bugging me.
I can wear this proudly now.
Right? Can you? See you at the castle, Golden Guard.
I do not envy those kids, man.
They just have to go through basic training before becoming scouts.
It's not too bad.
Dude, do you even remember what we had to do? The duels, the mazes with the traps, that time we were left alone on a mountain? [chuckles.]
And of course Belos likes to collect everyone's Palismen.
[sniffs, sighs.]
Steve is beginning to regret his choices.
I think Hunter is too.
Maybe it's Kikimora.
And her only way to express herself is through fiction.
Maybe it's another shape-shifting basilisk trying to write their story through metaphor.
[pants, grunting.]
Aw, wats.
Tinella Nosa? She's had a name this whole time? Sorry, boss.
The jig is up.
Tibbles? Edited a few more of those author photos, boss.
Some of my finest work.
Luz? [groans.]
Mattholomule! Oh, calm down.
Human garbage is constantly leaking into our water.
And about a year ago I found this box of books washed up on the shore.
I've been trying to make a snail off it ever since.
But no one's buying.
I'm still getting paid for this, right? Not now, kid.
According to the owner of the Book Nook, he's only ever had one customer purchase from this series.
I didn't know.
I swear.
This is the worst scam I've ever run.
So the author is human after all.
Were you expecting some dramatic discovery? [laughs, screams.]
- [Darius.]
- [gasps.]
- [Darius.]
- [screams.]
You're gonna need to be a little more clever than that.
Now! [groans.]
An illusion? Land the ship.
Wait! Did you really think you could get away with endangering a Coven Head? Do you have any idea what I'm capable of? Wait! Out of my way, little prince.
No! I was mistaken.
These four are insolent agitators who aren't fit for the Emperor's Coven.
And I'm unfit to wear the sigil of the Golden Guard.
You can go.
Please, Captain.
Let's move, team.
We need to find a replacement.
After all, it'll be 52 weeks before Caleb's next day off.
You befriended them? And then you disobeyed me to protect them? [chirps.]
I'm impressed.
I had you all wrong.
Huh? You're what? Sixteen? It's about time you made connections outside the castle.
I was just gonna drop them off at Hexside.
We have more than enough recruits, in my opinion.
Are you gonna tell Belos about this? Are you gonna tell him about your secret Palisman? [gasps.]
Magic or not, I think you'll make your predecessors proud.
But you could still use a sewing lesson.
So, are you upset? Nah.
Azura's author may be a human, but I'm human too.
Sometimes it's nice to be reminded that you don't need to be a powerful ancient witch to make something special.
Well, I had fun coming up with those theories.
They were like our own stories.
What if the Azura Book Club was also a writing club? What would be our first writing prompt? Hmm.
How about the mystery of [gasps.]
What they were up to all night? Did he just make an account? Wow.
He is a slow typer.
He's worse than my dad.
Hey, guys.
I am really digging those outfits.
So, how was the rest of school? Did we miss anything? Just had our first team win as the Emerald Entrails.
Ooh! Let me see! Let me see! - [both gasp.]
What? - [crows caw.]

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