The Ranch (2016) s02e11 Episode Script

Learning to Live Againe

- Hey.
- Hey.
What you doing up so early? Started work already? Yeah, couldn't sleep.
Figured I'd get some extra work done.
Maybe Dad would notice and love me.
- What the hell you doing over here? - Oh, man.
[SIGHS] Came straight from the bar.
I had a shit ton to do after we closed.
Gotta restock the inventory, mop the floors, turn all the expired burgers into chili.
Hey, you want some chili? Made with expired burgers? Yeah, sure.
Hey, how long you've been growing that beard for, huh? A month or two? Yeah, something like that.
Why? It's pathetic.
You know, two days ago, I was clean-shaven.
[SOFTLY] Whatever.
Hey, uh, I ran into Juan.
- You know, from the Peterson place? - Mmm-hmm.
Said they's thinking about selling.
- No kidding, huh? - Yeah.
Man, that place is badass.
All that riverfront? [CHUCKLES] Remember we used to sneak them Thompson sisters over there - and go skinny-dipping? - [CHUCKLES] Yeah.
I went skinny-dipping.
You ran off with my clothes.
Old man Peterson's chasing me around, shooting me with rock salt pellets in the ass.
[BOTH CHUCKLE] - I think we should buy that place.
- Yeah? That's a great idea.
We can do that right after we buy the Broncos.
Oh.
Morning, boys.
Brenda hey.
Brenda.
Hey, Brenda.
Mind if I help myself to some coffee? Of course Brenda.
Why, it's supposed to be nice today.
Yeah.
Sunny Brenda.
Well, it is good to see you, boys.
You, too, Brenda.
[MOUTHING] What the fuck? Dude, did you know about that? [WHISPERING] No.
Wait, so Dad and Brenda I mean, if they did, it probably killed him.
I'm sure you two have a lot of questions.
Let me answer 'em all for you.
None of your fucking business.
[THEME SONG PLAYING] What's up, girl? You gotta eat.
Look, look, it's good.
Look.
Mmm, yummy, mmm.
Dale, what's the market for a grass-fed jackass? Well, he's lean, but, uh I expect he's got a whole lotta diseases.
Yeah, funny.
She ain't eaten in days.
I'll try about anything at this point.
Well, let me take a look.
So, how are you and Brenda getting along? Oh, shit.
Who told you about that? Oh, I follow Brenda on Instagram.
She's always puttin' up pictures of her food.
She had prime rib last night and I saw your reflection in the au jus.
[CHUCKLES] [CHUCKLING] Should've made her get the rib eye.
What happened to Joanne over at the Cracker Barrel? You hit it and quit it? I'm not talking about this.
Oh, she moved back to Phoenix to take care of her granddaughter, 'cause her daughter's in rehab.
You didn't hear it from me, but, meth.
[CHUCKLES] All right, I'm done here.
Dale, fix this cow and send me a bill.
And I'll know if you overcharge me.
Well, you haven't yet! Good God, getting laid and he's still a grumpy son of a bitch.
[COLT CHUCKLES] Oh, uh, how's Heather doing? She's good.
Thanks for asking.
Hey, uh, did you, uh hear anything about the Peterson ranch being for sale? Well, I was over at the feed store talking to Glenn, now that I [STUTTERS] You know that thing he's got on his face? He had that removed.
It's a mole, but the damn thing had teeth in it.
Dale, the Peterson ranch? Oh! Oh, yeah.
Yeah, uh, Glenn said they're sellin' it.
Ah.
They got any offers? I understand Neumann's Hill's been sniffing around.
Boy, teeth in a mole.
[CHUCKLES] That's something you'd see on Stranger Things.
I just loved it when that little bald-headed girl starts moving things with her mind.
I just love it when this little bald-headed guy says shit like that.
You didn't finish your steak.
Didn't you like it? I really enjoyed the first pound and a half.
I told you not to fill up on that salad.
You get all the greens you need from a grass-fed cow.
[CHUCKLES] So, did the boys say anything about me being here this morning? I made it clear I didn't wanna get into it.
I don't like people talking about my business.
But they're your sons.
They're not people.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Oh, my friends Don and Judy are having a wine-tasting party this weekend.
Would you like to come? If I'm gonna watch somebody spit in a bucket, it better be a boxing match.
[CHUCKLES] Would like to see you, though.
Well, there is a new sushi place in Grand Junction that I've been dying to try.
Any chance you've been dying to try Charlie's Steakhouse? Has it changed since the last three times we went there? God, I hope not.
[CHUCKLING] Well, that sounds delightful, Beau.
Hell, I can always have sushi with my girlfriends.
I appreciate it.
Maybe your sons can join us at Charlie's.
God, I hope not.
[COLT] Mr.
Peterson.
It's, uh, Colt Bennett? Remember me? You don't forget the ass you pumped full of salt with a 12-gauge.
Yeah.
You know, most people wouldn't just shoot at a naked 15-year-old.
Just be glad that you weren't running towards me.
Hey, uh, you know, I was wondering if I could talk to you about something.
Sure.
Whiskey? Yeah.
- I made it myself.
[SNIFFLES] - Oh.
Thank you.
[CLEARS THROAT] Wow.
That's strong.
[CHUCKLES] Mmm [CLICKS TONGUE] I can't feel my tongue.
In a pinch, I can use it to run the tractor.
Yeah! Whoo! What's on your mind? I, uh, heard you was thinking about selling this place and I was wondering Is this whiskey or varnish? You think I'm gonna sell this place to a Bennett? Your old man pulled my deer stand down 30 years ago and he still hasn't paid me back for it.
Yeah, yeah.
[STAMMERS] Technically, he said it was on our land.
[IMITATING COLT] Yeah, yeah.
Well, technically, he's a fucking liar.
You know what? [STUTTERS] Never mind that.
My dad don't even know I'm here.
I just I heard that Neumann's Hill's been sniffing around.
Mr.
Peterson, we gotta keep these family ranches in the hands of families.
[CLICKS TONGUE] Yeah, I thought about that.
Look Normally, I'd never think of selling to Neumann's Hill.
But about a month ago, doc told me I got brain cancer.
Inoperable.
He give me a year, tops.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah, well, that don't change much.
Although, I just bought a brand new Silverado crew cab with a five-year loan.
Suckers! So, I'm gonna cash out Spend whatever time I have left pulling trout outta Andrews Lake.
And that Neumann's Hill offer it's pretty fucking good.
Mr.
Peterson I know this land.
I mean, mostly from running around on it while you were shooting at me.
But, uh, you know, my first kiss was underneath that elm tree right over there? Courtney Miller.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] I also know that the south pasture is where kids said you bury bodies.
Really, it's where you buried your family dogs.
South pasture's that way.
Think this whiskey's messing with my internal compass.
[COLT CHUCKLES] [STAMMERS] The point is, is that Neumann's Hill, they they don't care about your land or you.
But I do.
And I [STAMMERS] We can't pay you what they can, but me and my dad, we can go down to the bank, see what we can get.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Well, I'll be damned.
I might actually sell to the fucking Bennetts.
Yeah? Give us a shot? - We might be able to work something out.
- All right.
Thank you, Mr.
Peterson.
[STUTTERS] And I'll get that cash my dad owes you for that deer stand.
I'll need an apology from him, too.
Yeah.
I can get the money, but I'm not a miracle worker.
[CHUCKLES] - Hey, Mary.
- Oh, hey, Beau.
- 'Sup, Dad? - How are things with you and Brenda? What the fuck? Babe, I told you not to say nothing.
Yeah, well, I told you not to tell Darlene I dropped her kid.
I am sorry things didn't work out with Joanne, but it's nice you're spending time with Brenda.
You know, you guys make a cute couple.
Yeah, I suppose.
But, see, now she wants me to do things like eat sushi and taste wine.
- What a bitch.
- [ROOSTER CHUCKLES] Nothing wrong with trying new things, Dad.
You know, it's like in high school.
All I used to drink was Coors.
Then one day, 7-Eleven was out, so I tried a Bud.
It was like tasting the sweet milk that flows from America's teat.
God bless America.
[CHUCKLES] I think what Rooster is unsuccessfully trying to say is you just have to open yourself up to new experiences.
It's good, right? Change can be good sometimes.
I watched one of those Bond movies with Roger Moore.
I hated it.
[CHUCKLES] All right, Beau, good luck.
I gotta go to work.
- [CLEARS THROAT] I will call you later.
- [YAWNS] Alright.
- See you, babe.
- Mmm.
Yeah.
- That is payment for my beer.
- [CHUCKLES] You know, I could pay with kisses, too.
- Oh, hi, Colt.
- Oh, hey.
You know, actually, I'm glad I ran into ya.
I've been meaning to drop this off at your house.
It's some money for Heather's doctor's bills.
Oh, thank you.
It's sweet.
Do [CHUCKLES] Do you really still need to be putting a little number 12 next to your signature? Yeah.
That way it's an autograph.
Now it's up to you.
You can frame it or cash it.
Cash it.
Everybody does.
Oh, hey.
Glad you're both here.
Need to talk to y'all.
Oh, good, Colt wants to talk.
You're like the Roger Moore of sons.
- All right, hear me out.
- [SIGHS] - I think we should buy - No.
[CHUCKLES] Man, he hates you.
The Peterson ranch is for sale.
I think we should buy it.
We haven't got a pot to piss in and you wanna buy another ranch? Dad, it's a great piece of land.
I think the bank will give us a loan for it.
Now, look, I know you and Peterson got your issues The man built a deer stand on my property.
And then when I tear it down, he wants me to pay for it.
You know, Dad, on the plus side, he did shoot Colt in the ass with a shotgun.
- I did enjoy that.
- [ROOSTER CHUCKLES] Dad, you're always talking about passing our brand down from generation to generation, right? Well, this will make Iron River stronger.
We'll double the size of our herd.
We can amortize our expenditures over a larger number.
It's simple economies of scale.
Somebody been watching Shark Tank.
But this'll work.
Colt, I'm out.
You know, what's weird is that he said that.
I know he's never seen that show.
[COLT SIGHS] I knew he was gonna say no.
Yeah, well, what'd you expect? The only time Dad says yes is if somebody asks him if he's ashamed of you.
[GRUNTS] You know what? Don't matter.
We don't need him.
- [SIGHS] - We can do this, you and I.
Come on, Colt, man.
I'm running the bar for Mom, you know.
I ain't got the kinda scratch it takes to start a ranch.
Yeah, all we need is enough for a down payment.
We can scrape that together.
[STAMMERS] If Neumann's Hill gets it, how are we gonna compete with them? It is a good piece of land.
Look, I know you want this.
And that Peterson place? That's that's the one.
Yeah, it is.
Man, we were talking about running our own place - when we were little kids, you know.
- Yeah.
[CLICKS TONGUE] Let me try and figure something out.
- I'll call Mom later.
- Fuck yeah! Now we gotta start thinking about designing our brand.
"The Bennett Brothers.
" - [BOTH CHUCKLE] - Dude, already got it.
Two B's smooshed together like four boobs in a lesbian hug.
- Hey.
- Hey, Beau.
I wasn't expecting you for another hour.
Oh, and I cannot go to a local steak house with work hair.
That's just bad advertising.
I think you look real nice.
Thank you.
I think you look real nice, too, Beau.
[CHUCKLES] [BEAU] Mmm.
Mmm, and you smell good, too.
Well, thanks.
I was out of soap and I had to borrow Colt's.
Dove Cucumber & Green Tea Foaming Body Wash.
[BOTH CHUCKLE SOFTLY] - Listen - Hmm? I was thinking, maybe we can do something different tonight.
Wow, did a new steak house open up? No.
I mean, I don't know.
Maybe.
No, I'd know.
[CHUCKLES] I picked us up some sushi.
Are you serious? Wait, did you just catch a trout, cut it up and put it in that bag? No, but that's basically what the chef did.
I also got us some wine.
Wow.
You bought wine? Ooh.
You do know that that comes from California or France.
No, not this.
This is the good stuff.
From Texas.
"I got friends in merlot places.
" [LAUGHS] You know, you did not have to do this, Beau.
I would have been perfectly happy going to Charlie's with you again.
Well, I know that and I appreciate it.
But I wanted to do something you like.
Well, it warms my heart that you would do this for me.
It's not your heart that needs warming.
It's the fish.
[CHUCKLES] Well, try one.
You only live once.
God, I hope that's true.
Well, what do you think? Delicious.
Oh, I'm full.
Shit! [CHUCKLES] I'm a fucking dragon.
Hey.
Hey.
Take a hit of this shit.
- What's this? - Hmm.
It's not bad.
A little mild.
Hey, uh, did you talk to Mom? Yeah.
- What'd she say? - [SIGHS] Well, it's complicated.
She said she's on board.
She'll come back, figure out what to do with the bar.
She even said she'd pull out some equity to help us with the down payment.
Oh, fuck, yeah! And by the way, equity? Nice.
Shark Tank? [CHUCKLES] Hey, let's go call Peterson.
- Get this thing going.
- Yeah.
Hey, dude, hang on a second.
[SIGHS] I can't do it.
- What? You just said Mom was cool with it.
- [SIGHS] I know, but you know what she was doing when I called her? She's down in South Carolina trying to stop a hotel from getting built on some turtle breeding ground.
It was the happiest I've heard her in a long time, man.
I don't even think she was stoned or drunk.
Imagine that? Just being happy on your own? Look, I just can't fuck with that.
No.
This this is our shot.
Just like you was talking about.
We been We been talking about running our own ranch since we was kids.
Yeah, I know, but under better circumstances, you know, like when Dad's dead.
Look.
[SIGHS] You know I want to do this, right? It's just not the right time for me.
- No.
- Dude, there's gonna be other places.
No, no.
This is the one.
Man, we've gotta make this happen.
Colt.
[SIGHS] I'm sorry, dude.
I promised Mom, okay? You help Mom, but you won't help your own brother? Dude, you know I want to run a ranch with you someday.
Nah.
[SCOFFS] No, fuck this.
- You're using Mom as an excuse.
- Come on! Same reason why you never left this piece of shit town.
'Cause you're just You're too afraid to be your own man.
First you work for Daddy, now you work for Mommy.
Oh, okay.
So you're giving life advice now? Well, how about this? I'll let you know when I need help - fucking up my entire existence.
- Oh! Or better yet, you know, maybe you can explain to me the finer points of being a selfish dick who never thought twice about anybody but himself.
At least I took my shot! - At least I tried to fucking be something! - Yeah! And you fucking failed! - Yeah, well, fuck you! - Fuck you! Yeah, you know what? I don't need your help.
I'll just do it myself! - Hey, babe.
- [CHUCKLES] Hey, what are you doing here so late? Is that champagne? - Yeah, sure is.
- [CHUCKLES] - [SQUEALS] - [CHUCKLES] What the actual fuck? You know I'm afraid of champagne bottles opening.
Oh, come on.
That ain't a real fear.
Well, if I'm afraid of it, - it's a real fear.
- [CHUCKLES] - We are celebrating.
- What? Celebrating? What? Okay, the ranch next to ours? - Mmm-hmm.
- It's for sale.
You and me, we're gonna buy it.
- We're gonna live in it.
- [LAUGHS] We're gonna swim with our kids in the above-ground pool.
You and the kids will be playing Marco Polo.
I'll be on one of them big inflatable yellow ducks, drinking beer out of a red Solo Cup.
[CHUCKLES] Oh, listening to Toby Keith singing "Red Solo Cup.
" Oh, what the hell are you talking about? [LAUGHS] We can't afford a ranch.
Sure we can.
We'll sell some shit.
[STUTTERS] I got money from the calf sale, you got money in savings.
We'll figure it out.
And, look, if we can't afford the above-ground pool we'll just let the kids swim in the river.
[CHUCKLES] Actually, it's better that way.
We don't care if they piss in the river.
Colt, it's just not possible.
Anything's possible - if you put your mind to it.
- [CHUCKLES] Well, as a teacher who tells her students that every day, I think we both know that is a lie.
[CHUCKLES] Come on, don't you want this? Can't you see it? I love that you're thinking about our future, but I gotta be honest.
I mean, this is all coming across a little crazy.
The only thing that's crazy is that you don't see it.
[STUTTERS] I mean, come This is us.
This is our life, you and me.
And that ranch This We gotta make this happen.
Okay [SIGHS] something's going on with you.
I mean, for the past month or two you've barely slept, you don't eat and you've been working constantly.
I don't remember the last time I've seen you without a drink in your hand.
[CHUCKLES] Champagne don't count.
French, they give this to babies at weddings.
You know, uh something else happened a month or two ago.
It's got nothing to do with that.
Come on, Colt.
What? Me wanting a ranch has nothing to do with Heather losing the baby.
Then why don't you ever wanna talk to me about it? Every time I bring it up, you shut me down.
What's the point? What happened, happened.
It sucked.
It's over.
Okay, well, if you can't talk to me, talk to Heather.
She went through it, too.
Maybe she can help you.
I'm fine! [SCOFFS] I don't think you are.
Okay, yeah, you know what? You're right about everything.
Now you're right about how I feel.
No.
You don't have to be a jerk about it.
Well, then fucking drop it.
It's none of your business.
You weren't even involved anyway.
[SIGHS] Wow.
[SNIFFLES] Yeah, you're right, Colt.
I wasn't even involved at all.
Thanks.
You know, I'm gonna go to bed.
- [STUTTERS] Ab - No, you you can sleep on the couch.
Enjoy the champagne.
[SNIFFLES] [EXHALES] [INHALES SHARPLY] Heather? Hey, Colt.
Where am I? What happened? Did you and I Are you fucking kidding me? Abby asked me to come over.
[SIGHS] Great.
And I brought you a cup of coffee.
[CLEARS THROAT] Oh.
[EXHALES] Thank you.
- Yeah, I figured you might need it.
- Yeah.
[SIGHS] [SCOFFS] Hangover, you are tomorrow's problem.
[LAUGHS] - So - [GRUNTS] - How you doing? - [INHALES SHARPLY] I'm great.
Yeah.
You know, I'm thinking about buying a ranch.
Things are awesome.
Really? 'Cause it's, like, 8:00 in the morning and you just poured two shots of Jim Beam in your coffee and the hood of your sweatshirt's on the front.
[CHUCKLING] [LAUGHS] I like it that way.
That way, if I got to throw up, it's like [MIMICS RETCHING] [CHUCKLING] Look, Colt it's okay to still be upset about what happened.
Is that what Abby said? I was upset? - No.
- [SCOFFS] God damn.
I just know I am.
- And that it comes out of nowhere.
- Yeah.
Just the other day, I was sitting at a stop light and I saw this lady pushing a baby stroller.
And next thing you know, I'm crying, the car behind me is honking and I flip 'em off.
But it turned out it was an ambulance and I felt even worse.
[CHUCKLES] Come on, don't things like that happen to you? [SMACKS LIPS] Yeah, I'm sad sometimes.
Is that what you want to hear? I don't want to hear anything, Colt.
I'm trying to help you.
Nobody knows better than me the way this feels.
That night I left you at the hospital I cried the whole way home.
I was angry.
I was so upset.
And I got into bed that night, and I wanted the whole world to disappear.
Then I woke up the next morning and I I felt What? Tell me.
I felt relieved.
I didn't have to go to my job at the Safeway that night.
I didn't have to worry about money or a bunch of stuff I was unprepared for.
I didn't have to worry about how having a baby with you was going to affect me and Abby.
I hate myself.
[SNIFFLES] That's who I am.
Colt you have no reason to hate yourself.
Of course I do.
What kind of person's happy about something like this? - You don't think I felt the same way? - [SIGHS] Now I didn't have to worry about sticking my mom with another kid in the house? I could ride horses again.
Dating's a lot easier when I don't have to say, "Hey, I'm Heather.
I'm carrying another guy's baby.
" [CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY] Doesn't that make you feel guilty? Sometimes sure.
It's definitely not something I'd tell anybody else.
- 'Cause they wouldn't get it.
- [SOBS] But after all that dark shit we went through, Colt [COLT SOBBING] that little bit of relief - felt pretty damn good.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE] [SNIFFLES] Yeah, it does.
Just give yourself a break.
[SIGHS] You're not a shitty person.
- At least, not 'cause of that.
- [CHUCKLING] You're a good guy, Colt.
Don't be such a stranger.
All right.
[COLT SNIFFLES] Thank you.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Yeah.
[SNIFFLES] Heather? [HEATHER SIGHS] Yeah? Think we would have been good parents? [CHUCKLES SOFTLY] No fucking way.
[BOTH CHUCKLE] [COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]