The Real Ghostbusters (1986) s02e09 Episode Script

Who're You Calling Two-Dimensional?

Ghostbusters! ♪
♪There's somethin' strange ♪
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's somethin' weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
OK. Now, if you'll just hold still,
Slimer, this won't hurt a bit.
Are you sure this won't hurt him?
Absolutely, Ray.
Oh, well then, forget it.
I'm leaving.
Peter, I would remind you
that Slimer is the only ghost
who will sit still for our tests.
His value to science is incalculable.
Egon's right.
Where else are we gonna get
our hands on something truly unearthly?
I think your toast's ready, Egon.
That means the system's
all warmed up and ready to go.
Yes. Now, for first time,
we'll be able to see
what's inside Slimer.
Wow. This is wild.
Like, we're going through
the layers of Slimer.
That's exactly what we're doing.
Peeling back one level
after another until we get to
Whatever's there.
Boy, that thing puts out a lot of heat.
You think he'll be all right?
Are you kidding?
He spends most of his time in hot water.
Can you get wrestling on this?
-Just a thought.
This is it.
We're almost there.
You guys hear something?
There. There it is.
It looks likeLike
Oh, no. No.
Oh, guys, I've got a job for you.
Hey, by the way,
any of you seen the popcorn?
Oh, my gosh!
Are you guys OK?
Don't ask.
Let me out of here.
-This place is a mess.
-Great idea, Egon.
WhaWhat happened?
We made an important discovery.
We discovered that there's some things
man was not meant to know.
You have a job here.
Incalculable value
to science, eh, Egon?
Peter, do you know
how to set your proton pack
on explosive overload?
- No.
- I do.
Now that I think about it,
it was a good effort, Egon.
A really, really good effort.
Science would be proud.
Thank you so much
for coming.
You don't know how
much I appreciate it.
Are you kidding?
For the chance to visit
the original Walt Fleischman Studios,
I'd do just about anything.
Yeah, same here.
I grew up on his cartoons.
They were fantastic.
Yes, Mr. Fleischman
was a certified genius.
His cartoons were years
ahead of his time.
No one since then has been
able to do what he did.
Is it true that he disappeared
back in the 1940s?
Yes. No one knows where he went.
One day he went into
his private studio to work
and no one ever saw him again.
That's it up ahead.
Wow. This guy
was really something else.
Yeah. Can you say loopy?
Sure you can.
The sounds were
reported coming from here.
Terrible sounds.
Moaning, groaning, shouting.
Chains rattling.
Could be MTV.
Or a long latent paranormal surge.
Might even have something to do
with Walt Fleischman's disappearance.
Strange, though, that I'm not getting
anything on the PKE meter.
Well, then I'll leave it to you.
If you find anything,
do let me know.
I'll be in the caretaker's
office if you need me.
Wow. To think that Walt Fleischman
made those classic cartoons right here.
Right where we're standing.
Dopey Dog, Conqueror Duck,
Rickey Roach.
- Here's your Rickey Roach, Ray.
- Yuck.
You've got no heart, no class.
Huh, Peter?
I don't know, guys.
I don't see anything unusual.
Hang on, I've got something.
It's coming from right over there.
A door.
But this wasn't here a minute ago.
I wonder where it goes.
Whoa! Whoa!
You had to ask!
Anybody got a match?
Yeah, Ray.
Your face and my
Hang on,
I found a light switch.
Where are we?
What was that?
Hey, that's Conqueror Duck.
What's he doing here?
I mean, he's a cartoon character.
True. But as of right now so are we.
When we fell through that cartoon door,
we entered a cartoon world.
Look around you.
Everything is empty.
No ground, no sky, a blank slate.
Egon, I hate to be the one to say this,
but I think you've finally
gone right over the edge.
Excuse me, bud, you ain't by any chance
seen a duck
wearing a hard hat
come through here, have you?
Yeah, sure.
He went that way.
Thanks, pal.
A talking cockroach.
See, Peter?
That was Rickey Roach.
And you could never jump
that high in real life.
Only in a cartoon.
Now do you believe us?
That's fine, guys,
but how do I get down?
I've got it.
Think about a cliff, Peter.
A cliff?
You couldn't say, "Think of a pillow,"
right, Winston?
I think at this point it would be prudent
to find our way out of here.
Yeah, if there's a way in,
there's got to be a way out.
All we've gotta do is remember
that real logic
doesn't work here.
Only cartoon logic.
You know, Ray,
I was thinking,
if we're in a cartoon
then where's the audience?
I guess they're over there.
Take a look.
Hello? Hey, anybody there?
Well, what happened?
They changed channels.
Help! Somebody, help me!
That way.
But you can't be tired already,
Mr. Fleischman.
Why, we haven't even started.
YouYou monster.
Haven't you tormented me enough?
Torment? Torment?
I thought this was supposed
to be fun, Mr. Fleischman.
Fun, fun, fun!
Now, let's see, where were we?
Oh, yes. You had your characters
fall down trap doors
4,553 times.
Which means you only got
another 2,057 to go.
Oh, no!
There, that wasn't
too bad now, was it?
Like I said, fun, fun, fun!
You fiend!
Forty years you've been tormenting me.
Isn't that enough?
That's Walt Fleischman.
He's still alive after all.
Yes, if you can call being trapped
in your own cartoons for 40 years living.
Well, if he created this place,
then he has to know a way out of here.
I say we bust him loose and get out.
Subtle, eloquent, decisive.
I like it.
Which means nothing good
will come of it,
but what the heck.
Let's do it.
And now for trap door number
All right, buddy, show's over.
You've just been canceled.
Oh, no!
It's the Ghostbusters!
I cannot hope to defeat them.
There is only one thing I can do.
You know, a guy could come to resent
that kind of treatment after a while.
Downright unfriendly, if you ask me.
Aw, too bad.
Better get used to it, guys.
You're gonna be here a long, long time.
But it occurs to me,
if this really is Walt Fleischman's
cartoon world,
where are the good guys?
Where's Dopey Dog?
Dopey Dog, Ray?
Give me a break.
No, wait.
In the cartoons, he said
all you ever had to do was call.
How did the words go?
Dopey Dog, Dopey Dog
flying through the air ♪
Dopey Dog, Dopey Dog
flying everywhere ♪
Come on, boy, we need you
don't let us down ♪
Dopey Dog, Dopey Dog
we need you ♪
Jeez, that was awful
You called?
I don't believe this.
Yeah, well, woof-woof to you too.
Dopey Dog. Boy, are we glad to see you.
Can you help us get Walt Fleischman
away from Winchester Wolf?
Hate to say this,
but that's a pretty stupid
name for a wolf.
You have my permission
to tell him that, Peter.
It's a long, sad story, my friends.
It began with a mistake.
A terrible, terrible mistake.
Years ago, the Walt Fleischman studios
made the best cartoons around.
He was a genius
and I was his biggest star.
He made cartoons the likes of which
had never been seen before.
Cartoons that moved.
That seemed almost alive.
But almost
wasn't good enough.
He believed in us so much.
He wanted so badly
for us to be real
that his mind somehow created
a cartoon world
where his characters actually lived.
From then on, all Walt had to do
was photograph us onto film.
Soon, Uncle Walt became world-famous.
He created new characters,
and that was his one mistake.
He created Winchester Wolf.
Winchester was evil,
clear through.
We knew he was dangerous,
but he was too powerful
to be controlled.
Well, one day when Walt
let his defenses down,
Winchester opened the door
and took him away to this place,
a captive in his own world.
He's been here ever since,
my friends.
Forty long years, never aging.
No one grows old in cartoons, you know.
Ah. I hadn't foreseen this.
That crummy dog could
show them the way out.
Well, I know how to take care of that.
Will you stop that?
But wasn't there anything
you could do, Dopey Dog?
You're a hero.
I'm a cartoon, my friend.
It's one thing to play at being a hero,
but to really be one
Well, we're not cartoons,
and we're not staying.
We're gonna find Walt
and get out of here.
Yeah. And nothing's gonna stop us.
When are you guys gonna learn
not to say stuff like that?
Duck! Yes, it is.
Hiya, guys.
Winchester sent me.
He wants to know what
you three are doing way up on that cliff.
What cliff?
That cliff.
Hang on.
What else are we gonna do?
Whoa, boy.
We can't hold out for long.
We have to get down somehow.
Hey, that's easy, boss.
All you have to do is wait till winter
and learn to ski.
It wasn't that funny, Duck.
Listen, buddy.
If you've been cooped up for 40 years
your stuff would be a bit stale too, OK?
Ah, stick it
in your tail feathers.
Did you, uh,
say something, buddy?
Yes. I said I'd like to get down.
Say "please."
You got it.
Oh, no.
Not like that!
If they fall from that distance,
they'll be killed.
Just one chance, my friend.
We have to move the lake.
I beg your pardon?
This is a cartoon, remember?
You cannot pick up a lake
and move it. It's illogical.
Do what he says!
Move the lake!
This doesn't make sense
and I don't believe any of it.
Well, at least we're alive.
Soaking wet, but alive.
I can fix that.
We will stay here while
you three walk out of frame.
Now, walk back into frame.
See? Works every time.
That does it. I'm leaving.
That'll be a good trick, Egon,
considering we don't know
how to get out of here.
And we don't know where Walt is either.
Hmm. There may be a solution to both,
but we'll need help.
Also, it's very dangerous.
We have to go to the very edge
of cartoon world.
Hey, I live by danger.
I might as well die by it too. Lead on.
Let's go.
Ronald Rooster.
Felicia Feline,
St. Clare's Squirrel,
George Gopher.
Everyone, come on,
Walt needs us.
Wow. All of Walt Fleischman's
animal heroes are on our side.
Nothing can stop us.
I hope you're right, my friend.
450, 451,
I think that will be quite enough.
Does everyone here know what he has to do?
Yeah, let's take them.
Nobody does this to Uncle Walt.
For the Walt Fleischman Studios!
What? Stop them.
Boy, this is great.
Just like a dream.
We gotta find you a better
class of dreams, Ray.
OK, let them have it.
You know, I probably should've thought
to test these out to make sure
they'd work in this world.
Good timing, Egon.
So, Winchester, we meet at last
as we were always meant to.
Defend yourself!
If they haven't had their shots,
I'm in serious danger of cartoon rabies.
Hurry, Mr. Fleischman, follow us.
Ghostbusters ♪
So you have him.
Where do you expect to take him
where I can't reach you?
Now, my friends,
do it for Walt!
Do it!
No. No.
You're ripping the film!
You're tearing the edge of the film!
Stop it!
Stop it!
There it is,
the edge of the film.
Those are the sprockets,
and beyond them, home.
Your home. Now, hurry.
But what will happen to you?
Don't worry about us,
my friend. Hurry.
We have to jump.
And hope we miss the sprockets,
or we'll be cut to ribbons.
Better do it fast,
because here comes smiley.
No, I won't let you!
I won't!
OK, let's do it.
Thanks, Dopey dog.
No, you can't leave.
I can't exist without you.
You're destroying us!
Don't look back.
Whatever you do,
don't look back!
You can't do this to me.
We had a contract.
We had a contract!
I ask you, can we make an exit
or can we make an exit?
I heard an explosion.
Is everything all
Mr. Fleischman.
Oh, my gosh!
Are you all right, sir?
I'm fine. Just fine,
thanks to these young men.
Gentlemen, I don't know how to thank you.
Well, Mr. Fleischman, uh,
once you've had a chance
to catch your breath
and find out how the world's
changed in 40 years,
there is one small thing you can do.
Do you have the slightest idea
what he's talking about?
Never have, never expect to.
It's here.
He did it.
Just like he promised.
Wonder what it is.
Can't be a check.
Box is too big.
A life-sized Dopey Dog doll.
Isn't it great?
oh, brother.
They'll just never understand, will they?
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