The Split (2018) s02e02 Episode Script

Season 2, Episode 2

1 - How can I help you? - Someone said that you were the best.
Why does our nanny suddenly want to go? You know why, you You know, Fi.
She didn't steal a handbag.
She slept with my husband.
- You ever going to be able to forgive me? - I'm working on it.
Are we pregnant? (SHE COUGHS) Oh, shit.
Hey, love.
I need a swim.
- Donde esta mama? - Swimming.
(MUFFLED SPEECH) We got back to that time when they too lived on the edge of constant discovery, reckless and wild.
- And as his hands caressed - Is this on the syllabus? - Dad.
- It's for work.
"He knew he must grasp the memory of her once sweet taste haunting him.
" He goes down on her, in a bit.
Tonight, your turn.
They clearly need policing.
You were out late last night.
Someone's keeping count.
Gym's clearly working, you look good.
Yeah, well, you know, working on it.
"The sweet taste of deceit was on her lips.
" (HE SIGHS) Filth, utter filth.
I'm in the wrong business.
(PHONE SMACKS COUNTER) Mum! The fox has pooed on the car again.
(SHE GAGS) TV: And because your baby's skin is so sensitive, - our range helps to protect and moisturise - Don't.
using only 100% natural ingredients, we help you to care - We can try again.
- But I want that baby.
Which one? The James Corden one? (HE LAUGHS) - His jokes would get on your nerves.
- Mm.
Healthy skin, happy baby.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) - Oh, Elvis is in the house! - Too much? - Not for Vegas.
- They're students, I need to blend.
Here's hoping Prof Ronnie will be wearing his Speedos.
Your child will be addicted to caffeine.
(WHISPERS) Not yet.
(DOOR RATTLES) - James, back door is sticking again.
- (HE SIGHS) (DOOR CLOSES) We have to move out.
- That's it, smile.
- (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) One more, buddy boy.
I think I could eat six of these! You've blocked out 10am this morning.
I've got book club tonight with the girls.
- I just need to pop out and get a few beers.
- No, cancel.
We've got a sound check at midday.
Just do it later.
Get takeout.
(HE SCOFFS) Tonight of all nights.
Callum, Ralphy, we're leaving in five.
- I can't come.
- You OK? - He's got me on complete lockdown.
Fi, is everything all right? I don't know how to do this, this divorce thing, - I'm terrified he's going to - One step at a time.
I'm here.
You're just laying the ground.
Well, um, book club tonight.
- Is he with you? - Yeah.
Be great if you can come.
Fi Yeah, well, we can catch up then.
- Babe, come on.
You need to get ready.
- Only when you're ready.
- OK.
- Send me the list.
Well, I'll see you at mine at eight.
Running late.
I didn't sleep that well.
And calling me at home? I just wanted to hear your voice.
Ah! Room for one more? - Fi Hansen cancelled.
- Oh, that's disappointing.
- And the Brodeur meeting? - Set for nine, I've drafted a petition for you to look over.
You look tired.
Foxes keeping me up.
Did you know Marr is doing Zander and the man whore's prenup? - Ah.
- Why didn't Zander ask me? - The Marriage.
Sounds boring.
- It's for a case.
Did you read The Affair? New York Times bestseller for 19 weeks in 2015? Utter trash.
Wasn't it about his affair with ? Editor, now soon to be ex-wife.
Will you let me know when she arrives? Which once again proves my point.
Never in the office, and never think it's forever.
- Grayling? - Uh, yeah.
Hm, classy.
Great doing business with you last night.
A long meeting, we overran Lilies.
- Weddings and funerals, hah.
- Mm-hm.
Have them, if you like.
- You don't like lilies? - (SHE LAUGHS) If I'd died.
- Yeah, and Post-it notes on my computer.
- It's too much? We're not 15.
Oh, damn.
And I made you a mix tape.
Is it, is it ? Is it hot? - Are you hot? - Hannah.
We need to talk.
- Lunch? - Fine.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Mrs Brodeur is in reception.
Stop following me.
Go away.
- This is insane.
- Insanity is Then you shouldn't have said such awful things - about me in your book.
- (DOG BARKS) - Please, I can't - You're a ridiculous man! - Let's go.
- (DOG BARKS) Mr Brodeur, we're in the process of drafting a divorce petition.
Oui, super.
Marvellous, then I should be honoured.
Maggie, perhaps you could show Mr Brodeur where he could wait.
It was a gift from Jack, deliberately to annoy me.
He's like the Mona Lisa.
His eyes follow you wherever you move.
Uh, we've drafted your petition, and I just need your marriage certificate.
"The biggest mistake was becoming a wife.
" Chapter nine.
In chapter nine, I'm menopausal and fat.
We had a glorious affair.
But there's only so long you can sneak around.
They should put that in the mistress contract.
It's the guilt that gets to you.
You always get caught in the end.
(MUFFLED SHOUTS) You can't go in there! I'm so sorry, I couldn't stop him.
I thought I'd take the dog out for a petit po-po.
Just come to Paris for one more night! Just one.
- Chapter nine, Jack.
- It's a story, my love.
It's our life, Jack.
You stole our life.
Ugh, pick up, Rose.
When you're done picking the flakes off your suntan, can you call me back, please? Lunch.
Are you listening to me? Are you listening to me? OK, you're not listening to me.
Look, I really need to talk to you.
Not burritos, proper lunch.
Just call me back.
- Hannah, hi.
- Just - Is now a good time? - Yeah.
I was just going over the comparison of quarterly profit, lawyer by lawyer, adding up billable hours.
I was curious.
- The Carlton divorce, that never went to court? - Uh Yeah, they were married for 28 years and went to mediation.
So it wasn't necessary to drag them both through court.
Just, though, in that particular case, it falls between two stools, right? I mean, it's neither high-profile enough nor litigious enough for you to dedicate quite so much time.
Mergers don't come cheap and it's NHD now, - so can we step it up? - (SHE EXHALES) I was saying to Mikey much the same.
So a good old-fashioned dogfight, then.
- Oh, do you have five minutes? - Er, yeah, course.
Might be easier to do this at your desk.
NHD, brilliant.
In one acronym he's managed to reduce this company - to something that sounds like an STI! - (SHE CHUCKLES) (COMPUTER DINGS) - Zander, Fi Hansen.
I'd love a steer.
- OK.
Originally, it was a producer-artist relationship, but he was the more famous.
But over the years, they have built up the brand.
Now there's rumours in the press about the nanny, which they're scrambling to shut down.
But in private, she's confirmed to me that he's been having an affair.
I'm gathering all the financial information, but she's not told him yet.
- I think she's scared.
- She has a list of unreasonable behaviour? - And you're concerned that the nanny will go to the press? - Hm.
If she's gagged by an NDA.
Any newspaper worth its salt will indemnify her, - if the story's good enough.
- Which it is, by the sounds of it.
So when it hits, I want to be prepped.
They're going to want to keep this out of court and out of the press.
- I can check in with Liz in the media team.
- Great.
Because I think he's going to come for her, I just get a sense.
I want to bring Nathan in on it.
My suspicion is that the opposing party will be aggressive in their strategy, and Nathan's the best.
Plus, if this goes to arbitration, I want him by my side.
I'm sure you can pull some strings.
One advantage of being married to the best.
The Sinclair inheritance ad claim, left the papers on your desk.
Can you sit in at one? Ah, sorry.
Lunch meeting.
Now, when Mr Carmichael says he has a lunch meeting, one senses he might mean STRESSED: a lunch meeting.
- You're a man who eats lunch at his desk.
- She's a keeper.
I'll get her name.
- (KNOCKS ON DOOR) - On my desk.
Thanks, Mike.
Oh, sorry.
Not Mike.
Thought you were my clerk.
That needs picking up.
You're looking for your desk, it was last seen - buried under there.
- Oh.
Thank you for taking me on.
Particularly as I'm not convinced I was your first choice.
Persecution complex, very, very unhealthy.
No, fair analysis of the situation.
Ah, to be clear, it is the remit of the aforementioned barrister, me, to instil a general sense of ill-ease and discomfort, even dislike, in a pupil, you.
Not as it may seem through any great intent, but simply because I am, and my wife will confirm this, incredibly scatter-gun and don't like most people, - including my own children.
- But you do like her.
That stuff, that caring what I think stuff.
This is a place of work.
So - save it for another time.
- Maybe tonight.
- I hear you're paying.
- Oh, yes.
The age-old tradition of the pupil-barrister fleece.
Gay couple.
German expecting twins.
He's run off with the surrogate.
Watch and learn.
Everybody clear about what we should be doing? I'll take that as a yes.
Now, who's going to be the guinea pigs? You're sitting in the front row, I'm afraid you've asked for it.
(THEY LAUGH) All right, you're the legal, and you're the client.
OK, let's go.
I'm an acquisitions lawyer with Goldman Sachs, which is where I met my wife.
In fact, she was my personal assistant, but she stopped work after we had children.
And when did the marriage break down irretrievably? A few weeks ago.
- I'd like a divorce.
- OK, OK.
Any questions? Nothing? Hello? (THEY LAUGH QUIETLY) - OK, play on.
- Um, um He'd like a divorce.
At some point in every marriage, we'd all like a divorce.
But there is a difference between what one likes and what one really wants to do.
Ruth Defoe, everyone.
One of our most eminent family lawyers.
(APPLAUSE) - Amy, is it Amy? - Yeah.
- I had a goldfish called Amy.
- (THEY LAUGH) I digress.
Are you sure, Mr Latham, the marriage is over? I Um, yeah, I think so.
See? Hesitation.
You're not sure, are you? Now, if this was a good friend who told you what Mr Latham has just told you, what would be the first thing you'd say? - I'm sorry.
- Exactly.
We're therapist, counsel and most important, possibly the only running mate they have in the very darkest hour.
And the second? - Are you sure? - Bravo! Always question.
People have affairs, people we know, people we love, but that is not always the cue for divorce.
Sometimes it can be the road back.
But she's sleeping with my best friend and stealing my money.
Oh, well, then.
Screw her for every penny she's got.
(THEY LAUGH) Amy, go again.
- Hello, Ronnie.
- Ruth, take a pew.
Can we go through the Adelaide case? Sorry, a lunch meeting the other side of town.
Maybe later, then? What? Just watching you.
(HE CHUCKLES) And I was just imagining what it would be like if this was every day.
I'm just putting it out there an alternative to sneaking around.
- We could go to - Don't say Paris.
- I didn't say Paris.
- You were going to say Paris.
You can't call me when I'm trying to get my kids off and act like all is OK.
You can't look at me like you are looking at me now when there are people around.
"She's a keeper"? - I was just fooling around.
- We can't do that.
Stop it.
You're giving us away, and I'm not ready.
I'm not ready to give us up yet.
Yet? - I don't drop hints at work because - Oh! this, if you hadn't realised, - is officially a conflict of interest.
- Mm.
You can bear the risk.
I can't.
Hey, hey, hey.
It's not that I haven't had the same thoughts, I've had them.
I think what would have happened.
What if? What if it had been you and not Nathan? What if it had been you waiting for me at the end of that aisle? I have my life.
I have responsibility.
I have kids.
I have (PHONE CHIMES) People that you love.
We should get the bill.
Not yet.
Zander is besotted.
Kill me if I go away on holiday and come back with husband.
- He's one step away from mail order bride.
- Sure.
Much better to keep dating weirdos and old men.
First insult of the day.
- John.
Weird John.
- 7.
He was 47.
Case in point: right age, screw up anyway.
You're jealous, and alone.
And really sweaty.
Shut up, smug git with your smart new husband.
Real husbands have beards.
All the flats I'm looking at are owned by real husbands who have beards.
James is never going to grow a beard! The point is, is we're all jealous even of the things we don't think, or didn't think we wanted.
You're losing me.
You know, when you when you realise you want them, it's too late.
Not pregnant.
Not pregnant any more.
You really don't think he can grow a beard? I'm not ruling it out completely, but he has such smooth skin! - Thank you so much.
Really interesting.
- Well, I learnt a lot.
- We learnt from you.
Thank you.
- I'll see you next week.
- OK.
- Thank you so much.
Thank you.
You've stolen my thunder.
You've been on your own too long.
Canteen's down there, but I wouldn't bother.
Pub across the road's much better.
How are the girls? Old.
All grown up.
I have three grandchildren.
Well, mine have all got terrible New Zealand accents.
Tally lives in Auckland now.
Oh, thank you very much.
Thank you.
- Give me a good mark.
- All right.
Thank you.
Like I said, pub over the road.
They don't always find you there.
We were just talking about you.
- Hanna was wondering if you were free - Er, Fi Hansen.
- Is that going? - We're just preparing.
- Hi.
- Hannah Stern.
I know, I heard you speak at the Women in Law lunch.
Feminist perspectives on cross-examination.
It was great.
Although I wasn't quite sure - about your interpretation of Hunt and Moore.
- Christie Carmichael.
Chloe Howell.
New pupil.
She has opinions.
I'm trying to discourage it.
I hear Zander's new man is busting your balls, checking you're behaving yourselves.
Yeah, we've got to go.
Nice to meet you, Chloe.
See you at home.
Where have you been? I've been calling you.
Did you deliberately not answer your phone? Yeah.
Yes, of course.
When I'm back at my desk, I'll have a look over it for you.
Rose has lost the baby.
If I call, please pick up.
I'm not good at that stuff, you're good at that stuff.
I did my best.
Maybe it's good.
Maybe it's better.
I mean, a baby is a big thing.
It's huge, and if you're not ready, then Hey, are you around later? - Tyler and I are having drinks, if you're free.
- Um no.
- Sorry.
I'm busy.
- Nina? - Er - Christie's coming, and a few of the other guys.
- Great.
- Rose.
- Where are you? - Right now? Looking at my last flat of the day and another property I can't afford.
I know you don't think you will, but you will get another chance.
You see, people say that kind of shit, but they say it when they're sitting on the other side.
You are formally on the other side, Hannah.
Whereas I'm barren.
And dramatic.
- Let me have my moment.
- You're mid-chapter.
- Bad metaphor.
Also happening a lot today.
- Hello! No, James and I are going to have to live alone with our cats.
- You hate cats.
- Yeah.
- The emphasis was on alone.
- You're not alone.
Didn't you read the Defoe terms and conditions? Sometimes it's just not the right time.
Sometimes you have to trust that the universe will give you another chance, and you'll be ready to grab it with both hands.
Just I felt ready now, so Um Yes.
Big smile - (LAUGHTER) - Listen, just let me know however many people, and I'll make sure Ali puts the names on the guest list, yeah? Don't do that.
Don't keep inviting people.
- Buzzkill.
- With tabloids circling.
Yeah, but you threw the handbag stuff.
It's a line.
They know it's a line.
Then cover better.
- Your nanny is going to talk.
- She signed an NDA.
- Richie - Then fix it.
Do what I pay you the big bucks for.
Danny boy! Hey! What was that piece of shit I saw you in last night?! We're heading out.
But Misty Brodeur is sitting in reception.
Did you ask her to come back? - I'll be there in five.
- OK.
The Hansen nanny's talking to the papers.
I called Matthew Royston.
I'll work out a strategy with the reputation management team first thing.
OK, if I'm doing this, you're doing this.
- Are you coming? - No.
I'm, er I can't tonight.
Hannah Christie! Are they coming with us? Yes.
Have you got a problem with that? Before you say I'm mad, he's French.
And it's very difficult to stay angry when someone is saying nice things to you in French.
It's always been my Achilles' heel.
Then he persuaded me to go for lunch, and one thing led to another.
You want your marriage certificate back.
You've done this before.
We weren't going to lodge the petition until tomorrow anyway.
It's not the affair I miss.
It's the potential it had.
The thrill of potential.
I'll walk you down.
He ran screaming out of the court and he chased me halfway up High Holborn until I promised him I'd get him his plane and his Porsche back! Classic! Another one? Yeah, thank you.
(PHONE RINGS) Before you ask, I'm only staying for one drink.
Good, because I suspect Liv's homies have settled in for the night and I forgot to say, I have book club.
Isn't that classified as a hobby? You don't do hobbies, let alone read a book.
- I read books.
- Dan Brown preferably on a beach or an airport lounge, at a push.
And if it's for work.
Fi Hansen invited me.
Book clubs this evening, bistros at lunchtime.
Are you getting pissed? Yeah but in my defence, Malcolm's picking up the tab.
The pipes, the pipes are calling Is that Malcolm singing? I'll be leaving in a minute.
- Nathan - (LINE BEEPS) Hannah! - Come down the far gate.
- Sorry.
- Hey.
Are you OK? - Thank you.
So, what's going on? Richie's been on the phone all day to his management.
(GUESTS CHATTER) Have you spoken to your PR today? No.
Why? I had some stupid photoshoot this morning and then all this tonight.
- Um - WOMAN: Fi! Your ice machine's really screwed! - Brace yourself.
- (LAUGHTER AND CHATTER) Angel! What do you want, some cake? Come and give Mummy a kiss first.
Don't get it on the sofa.
Cake and cucumber.
Perfect combo.
- Hated it.
Hated, hated, hated it! - Don't hold back, Tab.
- Where was the romance? Where were the laughs? - Where was the sex? - I've been more aroused by a bikini wax.
- And, er, his last? - Oh, The Affair? Loved, loved, loved! - Really? - I thought it dragged.
- Yeah.
The Marriage was better.
Well, it had something.
Oh, it's not great, but, er, the end took me by surprise.
I think it's trying to say something.
No way is it better than The Affair.
Well, everyone knows Jack Brodeur.
They know what they're going to going to get.
But this This was at least attempting something real.
To watch this couple, who had once been so passionate, become trapped in this claustrophobic marriage, to realise the mirage of the affair that this is reality.
With The Affair, the fantasy just can't sustain.
I mean, it rang true.
Like I said, I've been more aroused by a bikini wax.
(THEY LAUGH) Carrie has given a tabloid interview.
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry.
A colleague's trying to find out more.
- Will they run it? - It will come out online.
It could hit any moment.
This is potentially really damaging for you and the kids.
If we're going to do this, Fi, we have to do this now.
OK? You've got to trust me.
I've got your back.
- Oh, man, you bitches still here? - ALL: Richie! - Oh, piss off home, we've gotta be up at 5am.
- Good to see you! Hello, darling.
Hey! Hannah! Ah, on my way out.
- Pity.
You're my favourite.
- Hah! Have you got my coat and bag? Oh, yeah, sorry.
- Richie! - Oh, my - Where's the sambuca? - Shots? - Yeah, party! - It's a school night.
So what did it say? As soon as I get anything, I'll let you know.
- OK.
- Fi? Fi.
Tabby's doing sambucas.
- Will you sort her out? - Yeah.
- In a minute.
- Fi, now.
Don't embarrass me.
Oh, could you tell Nathan I've got those tickets? - Arsenal v Inter Milan.
- I will.
Good luck tomorrow.
The show.
I'm looking forward to it.
Oh, thanks! Hey.
Get 'em out.
Get some sleep.
Yeah? You know how it shows on your face.
I don't want the gallery screaming in my ear again, telling me they can't get a decent close-up.
All right? All right, ladies.
Hey! Boss wants to get to bed.
I know, what a buzzkill.
- Oh, come on! Lies.
All lies.
- No, no.
You bailed on the first interview.
What can I say? A habit of screwing up a good thing.
- It was Christie who lured Hannah in.
- Ah, interesting.
Ah, no: STOLE her.
- She came pretty willingly.
- That's what I hear.
- Excuse me? - We've known each other a long time.
- She's a great lawyer.
- Married to a great guy.
How did it work for you? Did you have to interview or were you just headhunted? - Ooh! - Ow.
- Double ow.
- How's it going? Have you worked out who should get the chop yet? Well, you guys aren't making this job easy for me.
- Everyone's so great.
- No executions.
- Oof.
- More a tightening of the belt.
Phew! Well, you almost didn't make it through.
Hannah was going with someone else, but then Zander said that you were new and needed the break.
This one has a sting in her tail.
- This one? - Forgive my fiancé.
- He's new to the place.
- Weird.
'Cos he looks like he's been around the block, looking at your Facebook page.
Maybe you should get her a car.
Oh! I'm OK.
I'm OK.
God! It's called Uber.
Ooh Liv's bag.
She is grounded until university.
- She's 17, Nathan.
- At 17 it's hash, at 19 it's crack.
Should we confront her? I'm going to confront her.
Yes, we confront her.
It's too late now.
You've got cheese sauce on your tie.
Did you find anything else? No.
Then leave it till the morning.
- On your head.
- Well, what else do we do? She's been grumpy.
You get grumpy with weed.
Is it weed? How was book club? It's a jungle out there.
And you have whisky breath.
You want to smoke it? Nathan Stern! (HE SPLUTTERS) You feeling anything yet? Not yet.
- How did this happen? - Ugh - It's my fault.
- Yeah.
- Nathan! - What?! I've done my penance.
You've been late home three, four nights a week.
It was work.
How was Ritchie? Was he asking after me? If you're coming onboard with this, the weird bromance has to stop.
- Of course, you don't like him.
- He's a creep.
You don't know he's a creep.
I mean, he might not be someone you bring home to meet mother, but that doesn't mean he's a creep.
Nathan You don't like men.
Our line of work, we meet a lot of arseholes.
You don't like men! Yes, I do.
- I don't like him, but - I beg to differ.
Sylvia's husband.
- Arsehole of the highest order.
- My point being: I mean, we never had them over, because you don't like him.
- I like her.
- Exactly! You like her.
Name me one male.
Bar Christie.
How could I forget Christie? I mean, you even have lunch with Crispy.
So you must like him.
Can't remember the last time you and I had lunch.
It's 20 years ago this week, Hannah, since we got married and I don't think you and I have been out to eat together without a child, or an elderly person, or any family member for - You're stoned.
- a long time.
You and I haven't been on a date since I continued - to disappoint you.
- You haven't disappointed me.
You've hurt me.
Can you lock up? You left your swimming costume last night, when you said you were at the gym.
I didn't go to the gym in the end.
I worked late.
You and I need to be in more evenings.
- Noted.
- I didn't think about if I hurt you.
I didn't think about what it meant for you or the kids.
I didn't care.
Whilst it was happening, I didn't care.
And that's the thing I find most hard to forgive in myself.
Because I didn't think I could ever do that.
I didn't know I was capable of that.
But I think we all are.
I put it in with Vinnie's kit.
Your costume.
You should rinse it more.
The chlorine shoots the shit out of the elastic.
What? Your dad has something he'd like to say.
- Olivia - Is this going to take long? Because I'm meeting Innes early - to get the Spanish vocab.
- Sit down.
What's a spliff doing in your bag? - Are you an idiot? - Is it yours? Innes's brother rolled it.
- I was just passing it on.
- Dealing, as well.
- It's one zoot.
- These are important years, Liv.
- Yeah, and you're screwing them up! - This is stuff you talk to us about.
- No, it's not.
I'm nearly 18, - Liv and this is the stuff you don't talk to your parents about.
Just like the stuff you keep from us.
You know, like all that gross stuff Dad did.
- That is enough.
- We found it all online.
You know that website's just like Tinder, - only ten times worse.
- Liv.
I mean, at least on Tinder the selfies are better, and you don't have to pay someone to find you a hook-up.
Your dad's right.
Are we done yet? Can I have it back? We binned it.
I hate you.
(DOOR SLAMS) Well, that went well.
- Fi's here.
- Thanks.
Can you let Christie know that we're sitting down? Yeah, sure.
Are we OK, Maggie? Yeah, good.
Just too many cocktails.
- Zander and Tyler, they are fun guys.
- Ha.
I don't have a file for him.
Um Mr Grayling? I just think it might be useful, in case anyone asks.
Is it true you almost went with someone else? I was the second person for the job? - What? - Just something that Nina said.
It's fine.
I just I hope I've proved myself.
My reliability.
My loyalty.
My discretion.
I think you know that you can always rely on me for that.
I will talk to Zander.
I know you want more, Maggie.
I'll do my best.
I will tell her you're on your way.
Transcript of the interview.
- Well, part of it.
- Thanks.
It's going to be serialised over the weekend.
Expenses only, but close to a six-figure sum.
Oh, wow.
No, really, no problem.
- Fi Hansen is waiting.
- I just spent all morning getting you that.
- Yeah, and I said thank you.
- Yes.
Yes, you did.
Christie Fine.
OK? So, this is an extract of Carrie's interview.
It won't be easy to read.
Would you prefer I read it? Miami.
Summer before last.
The weekend my mum was ill.
In the car, after he dropped me and the kids The kids were in the house.
- It can't be true.
- (PHONE RINGS) - This list you sent me, Fi - (RINGING CONTINUES) "Does not let me choose my own wardrobe, books or medical and beauty procedures, controls my bedtimes, does not let our children spend time with anyone he does not approve of.
Directs me on my choice of friends.
Demands I do not see certain friends and family members.
" I've been doing this for a long time, Fi, and while every couple has difficulties, Richie's treatment of you is unusual.
I believe it will be classed as controlling and coercive behaviour and the good thing is, I'm not your friend.
I'm your divorce lawyer, and no NDA controls what you say to me.
When this interview goes out, not only do I want you to be ready, Fi, I want you and your children to be protected.
- I am not sure you are currently safe.
- (PHONE RINGS) Do you want me to help you leave your marriage, Fi? Then it's time.
Oh, God Did you get my e-mail? Yes.
(SHE CLEARS HER THROAT) Only, you never replied.
Didn't realise it required a reply.
I hope that you and I are not going to have a problem.
Problem? Why? According to HR, you've had quite a number of duvet days.
Key meetings, you're known to be late.
- I appreciate, in your old firm - Er Defoe is still very much alive.
- It's third name, top line.
- Nina.
Zander has asked me to review the productivity and passion of every staff member, and if the books don't balance, I will advise that he looks to rationalise.
Are you in AA? Excuse me? Might be worth thinking about it.
So we'll adjust on those clauses already flagged - and get this signed and done.
- Great.
There is just one thing.
Um The schedule of Tyler's assets.
They seem a little thin.
One suitcase and an array of nice shirts.
- (THEY LAUGH) - Yes, quite right.
I so hate stuff don't we all have too much stuff? But as a 36-year-old management consultant - And lawyer.
- who has worked in four of the five big legal firms in the US, I'm a little surprised he hasn't accrued more.
There's little financial revenue listed in the way of property, etc.
Neither is there much debt.
Tyler's job is to rationalise companies, help them make savings, avoid undue expenses, etc.
It's just an observation, Zander.
- Stall? - Absolutely.
And do a credit search.
I was at your old law school yesterday.
It took me right back to you, Hannah and Nathan.
I remember your graduation day.
- It's lovely you're all still mates.
- Yes.
Oh, now, did you get the invite? Anniversary party.
- Top-secret, Hannah and Nathan.
- Looking forward to it.
Plus-ones all round? Absolutely.
- Credit search.
- Twice.
I'm glad we're in agreement.
Found us a flat.
- What? - Happy jig.
- Yeah? - Happy jig! (HE HUMS A TUNE) (SHE JOINS IN) - Hannah.
- Mm-hm? The Brodeur petition? We've paused on that, right? - Mm.
- I've just had a call from Pierre Rivette.
He's Jack's lawyer in Paris.
He was asking if we could send the marriage certificate direct.
I think we got our wires crossed.
I said to him we'd already returned it to Misty and he said he would get it from her when she arrived in Paris.
I'm worried that Jack's planning to start divorce proceedings in Paris.
- - VOICEMAIL: Darlings, it's Misty.
I can't get to the phone right now, but please leave a Find out which train.
DISPATCH: Are you proceeding? DRIVER: Yeah, pulling through now, talent's arriving.
Other than that, I've read it all through and I'm confident, if you agree Sorry, could you just go over your concerns about clause five again? Sure.
They're booked to take the Eurostar at 6:30.
- Do you want me to go? - No, no.
- You just, you keep trying her.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Would you mind coming with me? I just need to see in your bag.
What? - Why? - This way.
Misty! Where's Jack? OK.
I need your marriage certificate.
Well, it's still in my bag.
- Jack wanted me to - Bring it with you? That's because he has a lawyer in Paris who has probably already drafted his petition.
You get on that train, and very soon you'll be served with French divorce papers and I promise the outcome will be nowhere near as good - as in the English courts.
- No.
- He needs me on the book tour.
- No.
If you let him do this you may well be left with almost nothing.
I can still lodge your petition here first.
He wants me to meet his new editor.
24, from Toulouse.
Not an ounce of fat.
What is it they say? Marry your mistress and you leave a vacancy.
Hey! Get away! Hiya.
You OK? Final checks, please, everyone.
Number one to first position please.
Number two, are you set? Stand by, everyone.
Well, at least try and smile.
- Cue intro.
- That's ten seconds people, ten seconds.
When the boys were downstairs.
Can I have a round of applause, please? Because the beautiful people are here.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr and Mrs Hansen! - (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) - Fuck you.
I want a divorce.
I won't stop sending you flowers.
I won't stop looking at you when you're on the phone.
I won't stop taking the lift for a second time just in the off chance you might be in it.
I won't.
If you don't want any of that then what are we doing here? Because this should be, if nothing else, all of that.
You have people that you love.
I get that.
But I have you.
Solely you.
I love - Don't - solely you.
What are you going to do with that, Hannah Defoe? Stern.
Hannah Stern.
I could have just gone, Hannah.
I could have left.
I could have a whole new life now.
But you came to me, you asked me not to leave.
Why did you ask me not to leave? Because I needed to know.
Needed to know what? If I had made a mistake.
And? Did you? (PHONE RINGS) Don't answer it, Hannah.
Please For once, don't.
Nina? Nina, calm down.
- Nina - Good to know.
I'm there.
I'm at breaking point The time is up, the jury's out It's time to move my feet And I've been a fool and unloving You've been the brave one The heart on your sleeve.
And I've been the hard one So hard to please Please don't give up on me.

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