The Tick (2016) s02e07 Episode Script

Lei-Lo, Ho!

1 (SIGHS) If only Lobstercules had given us a less cryptic clue.
How many potential "house under a volcanoes" have we checked off the list, chum? 13 now, including Pele's Hot Pumice Massage Palace.
That was some awkward sleuthing.
Yeah, that was very, very awkward.
All that shoe leather, and still no lobster babies.
I don't know what to tell you, Tick, you know? I mean, I've checked out every single volcano-related place I could find.
The Donnellys have those babies locked up somewhere, scared and alone.
We must leave no igneous rock unturned, Arthur.
We've made a sacred heroes' vow.
Yeah.
No, and we're keeping it, okay? You should have seen how Donny treated those babies in the sewer.
I mean, guys like that? Ugh.
Someone needs to teach him and his brothers a lesson.
Gentle avenger, that someone is you.
Oh, I am not sure about that.
Come on.
You stood up to him at the bank, and the casino.
Yeah, and he knocked me out both times.
You know what they say Third time's a charm, chum.
Or a strikeout.
Arthur, we're not talking about bowling.
- Baseball.
- How about hero ball, where every setback makes the victory that much sweeter? What we need now, though, is to catch a break, get a clue, advance the plot.
(PHONE RINGING) Hello? MISS LINT: What the hell did you tell Superian? Miss Lint.
Wait.
Who told you I was talking to Superian? He did.
He seems to think that you're his therapist or something.
Yeah, well, I assure you I am not a therapist.
- (FAINT VOCALIZING) - Then stop treating him, 'cause you're driving him nuts.
I am not treating him, okay? I made one suggestion.
I told him to make a gesture.
- A gesture.
- Good work, Sigmund.
Now he's talking about blowing people up into space.
- What people? - All people.
ARTHUR: Wait a second.
Are you concerned - about other people? - What? WOMAN (LAUGHING): Oh, Janet.
ARTHUR: It sounds like you are.
MISS LINT: No, I'm concerned about me.
If Superian goes off the deep end, then all my plans just go to hell.
- Aha! So you do have plans.
- So what? You have plans.
Don't act like you don't have plans.
(HARMONIZED VOCALIZING GROWS LOUDER) These damn neighbors.
What? What neighbors? (HARMONIZED VOCALIZING CONTINUES) Stop it with that crap! Wait.
Tick? Tick? (WHISPERING): I can hear the babies singing.
(GASPS) Lint, you listen to me.
Tell me where you are right now.
MISS LINT: Nice try, Derwood.
I'm not gonna give you my HQ.
Just fix Superian.
What? (SIGHS) She hung up.
- Rats! - But wait.
Caller ID.
Tick, the babies are at the Lei-Lo Motel.
Then Lei-Lo Ho! - (LOBSTER BABIES SINGING) - Enough! (SINGING CONTINUES) - (SINGING, BABBLING) - Damn lobsters.
All right, come on.
Come on, you little bastards.
It's just like Mommy makes.
(SIGHS) They're still not eating, Donny.
Well, if they're not gonna eat, we might as well start eating them.
Do you really not get how I would be curious? You were practically raised in AEGIS, my brother spends all of his time there, and I'm a category.
Why shouldn't I take a look? Because I told you, they're gonna look back.
I went to a stupid open house.
Nothing happened.
You told me you got caught off-limits by Doctor Agent Hobbes.
I didn't give him my real name.
You didn't have to.
Hobbes is the smartest man at AEGIS.
I'm sure he's already seen your file.
What file? I don't have a file.
Of course you have a file.
You're Dot Everest.
You're the sister of the Boy From The Photograph.
The day The Terror killed your dad, they opened files - on your whole family.
- (BEEPING) DANGERBOAT: I'm getting an incoming call from Dot's cell phone.
Source, DB? DANGERBOAT: It's Arthur.
I think we should take this.
Put it on speaker.
DANGERBOAT: Hi, Arthur.
How's it going, buddy? ARTHUR: Uh, Dangerboat? Oh, actually, I thought I was calling Dot.
Yeah, I'm here.
Hi.
Dot, we need to borrow your car, okay? DOT: Um, yeah, sure, that's fine, I guess.
Thank you, Dot.
We're on a stakeout, and - the car really helps with that.
- ARTHUR: Yeah.
DANGERBOAT: Oh, hey, we're going to be on a stakeout, too.
No specifics, DB.
We're on an unsecured channel.
Wait a second.
I'm sorry.
Dot, you're going on another mission? I can't talk about it on the phone, Arthur.
If-if you want to borrow the car, that's fine.
This new mission Will there be a body count? Bite me, blue man.
TICK: (SIGHS) I'll take that as a yes.
Overkill, Dot, I think you'd better go ahead and wait for us to wrap up our mission.
Then we'll come and help you do yours - the right way.
- DOT: Yeah.
No.
We're gonna take care of this on our own.
That's right.
We've got everything we need.
Besides, we don't want your kind of help.
- Our kind of help? What does that mean? - Superheroes.
This is a covert operation, not a circus.
ARTHUR: Okay, Dot.
Listen to me.
You have not been doing this kind of thing long enough to just jump straight - into the deep end.
- DOT: Isn't that exactly - what you are doing? - Yeah, but I have a supersuit! Well, I have something too, Arthur.
Yeah, she does have something.
It's called combat training.
Even with the suit, she could fold you up like a lawn chair.
TICK: Destiny's the one doing the folding, fella, and we are her origami swans.
But you can't be swans if you stay lost in the woods.
We're not lost.
There are no swans in the woods! OVERKILL: Nobody's in the woods! (LINE CLICKS, DIAL TONE BEEPS) I think they might have hung up.
I Yeah, I think you're right.
Okay.
- (SIGHS) - (SIGHS) Stakeout snacks? - Oh, thank you.
- Oh.
Self-righteous hypocrites.
DANGERBOAT: I get the part about the woods, but I'm not so sure about the swans.
Swans can totally be in the woods.
So AEGIS really has a file on me? - Oh, most definitely.
- That's kind of creepy.
Yes, it is! Damn it.
MAN (ON RADIO): The citywide manhunt continues for Lobstercules' human accomplices, described as four white males with ties to the lob They're closing in, Donny.
Don't worry, bro.
The cops can't keep this city locked off forever.
They'll loosen the net, and when they do, we swim away.
Until then, at least we're eating good, huh? You sure you want to do this? We've been holed up here eating gas station food for days.
So, yeah, Dougie, I think we want to do this.
I'm just saying, these babies are special.
Maybe we could train 'em to do tricks or sing a song that doesn't suck.
The cops are looking for a bunch of lobster fishermen who've been robbing banks with a magic lobster.
I think it might tip them off if we go and start a magic lobster band.
ARTHUR: The Lei-Lo Motel.
It really is a home under a volcano.
So what do we do now? Um, we, uh, we watch and we wait.
Candy bar? - Thank you.
- The sugar in it will give you energy, and the chocolate has antioxidants.
Mmm.
So what do we do now? Uh, we still watch and wait.
Stakeouts are kind of humdrum.
I'm more of an action type of guy.
- Me, too! - Okay, look, we-we don't have enough intel yet.
We can't just go in there and start raiding every room.
- Sure we can.
- No, we can't, Tick.
We have to stick with the plan, okay? We have to maintain finesse.
I'd like to thank you both for-for making this a three-person plan.
You're welcome, Kevin.
Well, I mean, we needed someone to man the cooler.
- And to provide the cooler.
- Yeah.
I have I have tents as well.
In case you guys want to go camping.
ARTHUR: Mm-mm.
Well, Pebble Gray is nice, but, uh, it might be a little too cold.
What do you think, honey? Agreed.
Which is why I was leaning towards, uh, Light Ash.
But as an exterior paint, it only comes in the oil-based, and you know how I feel about that, environmentally.
So I think I'm going to go with Seagull.
(EXHALES) Unless you have any objections.
Okay.
I love you.
Bye.
Mwah.
(PHONE BUZZING) MAN: Delta red hawk absolute zero.
Repeat, delta red hawk absolute zero.
Blue moon niner.
DANGERBOAT: We're in position, just under the horizon line.
Dropping anchor now.
The readings check out.
It's a high-tech facility, just the kind of place you'd find implants for human furniture.
Copy that, DB.
(SIGHS) Drink up.
Tonight, we be merry.
DANGERBOAT: Just a little for me, thanks.
I'm driving.
Think about it.
If we catch The Duke, this time tomorrow, you could be sitting across from Rathbone.
Everything could be different.
Or it's a setup.
This time tomorrow, we could be dead.
Well, either way, it's closure.
I think Dot's right, Overkill.
This isn't just any mission.
This one's important.
I think we should probably do - the thing.
- Shut up.
- What's the thing? - We're not doing the thing.
It's just this thing we do before certain character-defining, all-or-nothing, "point of no return" type missions.
A little tradition we have.
We're not doing the thing.
Overkill, don't be embarrassed.
("GET YOUR FIGHT ON" BY THE PRODIGY PLAYING) She's a freak.
She's one of us.
Come on.
I'm a freak.
What's the thing? Okay.
The Tick he was right.
We are in the woods.
But that's where people like us live.
Vigilantes.
In the cold, in the dark.
That's where we find evil.
Away from the light and the music.
So, on the eve of those moment-of-truth, turning-point missions, that's when we step out of the dark and celebrate everything that we fight for.
(OVERKILL EXHALES) We fight for vengeance, we fight for blood, we fight for the right to dance.
Oh, my God.
What is happening? (LAUGHS) It's a dance party, Dot.
That's the tradition.
That's the thing.
(GASPS) Scared? No way! (CHUCKLES) Okay! Get your fight on, get your fight on Get something to bite on O-O-Overkill.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Go, Dot.
Go, Dot.
Go.
She is a freak.
Wow.
Get your fight on, get your fight on Get something to bite on Get your fight on, get your fight on Get something to bite on.
TICK: Nougat, eh? I like a candy bar that fights back.
Wait, Tick.
Tick, check out that van.
I think I recognize the driver.
That's Donny's brother.
I saw him in the sewer.
- It's go time.
- Okay.
- Deploy Kevin.
- Affirmative.
Roger that! (KEVIN GRUNTS) Just the knees.
(COOLER WHEELS RATTLING) Room 160.
Repeat, oner, sixer, zero-er.
- It's a go, Tick.
- Affirmative.
Remember the prime directive? Of course, chum.
Keep the babies safe.
(SCOFFS) Superian had you worried, didn't he? (ECHOING LAUGH) You're becoming one of the good guys, Janet.
You really are.
(EXHALES) I need a drink.
Okay, now the water's hot.
Denny now you can go get the lobsters.
(GASPS) TICK: And here we go.
(CRASHING IN DISTANCE) What the hell was that? What the hell happened to our van?! TICK: The Tick happened, Donnellys.
And he's about to happen again.
DENNY: It's that asshole from the bank.
Oh, it's happening.
There's no time to explain.
- We have to move now, okay? - (GUNSHOTS) Okay, just - (GUNSHOTS) - Ah.
Tickle time.
Something stinks.
- (TICK LAUGHING) - (GUNSHOTS CONTINUE BULLET RICOCHETING) Here you go, Kevin.
Okay, these are the last two.
Get out of here now.
Well, if it isn't The Accountant.
Okay.
All right.
TICK: Good night, you dinks of Maine.
DONNY: What'd you do with my lobsters? Those are not your lobsters.
The hell they ain't! MISS LINT: Hey.
Blue cheese.
Why are you trashing my headquarters? Joan of Lint.
There you are.
(GRUNTS) - Tick! Help! - Arthur's in trouble.
Keep an eye on these two chowderheads.
I'm coming, Arthur! Ah! Little punk! - Get up! - (GRUNTING) Arthur! Ooh.
You did it, chum! Hey, Tick, can you hear the ocean? It feels good.
Put my head down, take a nap.
What the hell do you think you're doing? (BODY THUMPS) (WOMAN CHUCKLING NEARBY) (BIRDS SINGING) - Hey, Walter! - Hey.
(BEEPING) (BEEPING) Cheng here.
Aw.
It's been a long time, old friend.
Hmm.
Too long.
But also too soon.
You knew what you signed up for.
We both did.
So much for what we knew back then.
Tell me what I need to know right now.
I got a job for you.
Arthur.
Arthur, can you tell us how you found the criminals? Uh, yeah, uh, good old-fashioned detective work.
And what was the clue that cracked the case? Well, we got a tip-off Arthur, I think we should probably go.
(CLEARS THROAT): Um but I think we should probably protect our sources right now.
Uh, Kevin, let's go.
Tick, I told you to put that down.
Please? - IRINA: The city is safer - Hey, Arthur! Come see this! thanks to Tick and Arthur.
(LOBSTER BABIES TRILLING QUIETLY) Kevin got them a night-light.
KEVIN: I thought it would make them feel - more at home.
- (LOBSTERS PURRING) Wow.
Kevin, that really seems to be working.
- (PURRING CONTINUES) - You hear that? It's their way of saying thank you.
Aw.
Uh this is my way of saying you're welcome.
Mission accomplished.
Now comes the hard part.
Parenting.
OVERKILL: Dangerboat, we're on the beach.
DANGERBOAT: I've hacked into the security system.
Disabling cameras and motion sensors now.
Looks like this was the place.
Okay, if this is the place, where are they? They've cleared the place out.
I'm not seeing anything.
We just have to look more.
(WHIRRING, CLICKING) That's gonna be hard.
Why? The Duke, he hacked into my eyes.
I'm blind.
Oh, shit.
Okay, let's get you out of here.
OVERKILL: DB, can you get my eyes back online? I'm trying, but I think The Duke has locked me out.
How did he hack into my equipment? It's completely shielded.
(RUMBLING, CLACKING) - No! - What is it? It's like a cage! Picking up high-range electrical impulses firing up through the building.
Looks like a self-destruct sequence.
Dot, run! Now! I'm not leaving you here! If The Duke wanted me dead, I'd be dead.
He wants to take me.
You have to go! - Overkill - Self-destruct engaging in five, - four, three, two - Overkill - one.
- (DEEP BOOMING) OVERKILL: If The Duke wanted me dead, I'd be dead.
He wants to take me.
You have to go! DANGERBOAT: Self-destruct engaging in five, four, three, - two, one.
- (DEEP BOOMING) Ah! Drama.