The Ultimatum: Queer Love (2023) s01e05 Episode Script

In and Out of Love

We make each other happy in the moment,
but it's really hard to see clarity
when it comes to a future with you.
I want to be married now,
and at the end of this experiment
there has to be a decision.
She wants the money for the
ring, for the house, for the kids,
before even taking the next step.
I'm just like, "I just
want to be with you."
You've been so committed
to me for so long.
Give someone else a shot and see
if the connection you have with me
is something you can see
yourself having with someone else.
You think there's a
chance we could be engaged?
- It completely changes how I feel.
- I didn't just change your timeline.
- I wrecked your timeline.
- You revolutionized my world.
Things are so great and
so awesome and so seamless.
I wish we could take us and see
how we deal with, like sex.
Whether we wanted it or not,
we're all learning about ourselves,
our partners, our
relationships, and what we want.
- And don't want.
- And don't want.
I feel like you say shit on
camera to make me look bad, mate.
- What have I said that makes you look bad?
- I don't wanna talk about it now.
You accused me. You can't
accuse somebody and run away.
I cannot be the person
that you want me to be,
and I cannot feel bad about that.
I'm asking you to act like you
care. What the fuck have I got to do?
My ex, she was the closest to
marriage I feel like I could get.
But I just feel like, "Okay, I'm bored."
Vanessa's a fake person.
I wish Rae would know that this
girl is not here for the right stuff.
You're beautiful.
I know what you're thinking.
Keep doing that. That felt good.
The person who I thought loved me
came here and then
slept with that person.
My problem is with the person my
significant other let inside of her.
I have to understand why she trusted
you enough to let you fuck her.
So we all sit down at the same table,
and Vanessa did not ask
me not a damn question.
She got grilled at our place.
- In your setting?
- In my setting.
- You got the brunt of that, I'm assuming?
- Duh.
- I'm sorry.
- It was hard.
Ours was super shady.
Ours was more up-front.
Lexi just turns to Vanessa and is like,
"Where are you with Rae? Like,
are you into her? Are you not?"
Vanessa laughs and smiles
and looks around and tries
to be very like, "Ah!"
But then there's some
information shared,
and everyone's like, "Does
that mean you're into her?"
"Does that mean you're not?
You're conflicting yourself."
- Then she
- What information was shared?
That is for you and her at another time.
- Huh?
- That's for you and Vanessa.
At another During your time.
- Okay
- You want me to tell you?
- I mean, I get it.
- If you want me to, I can.
- I don't need you to.
- Okay.
'Cause, I mean, I will,
but I don't wanna.
- Did you find out tonight?
- So you do want to know?
Oh God.
Vanessa and Rae had sex.
Vanessa's saying that it was not
That there's no sexual attraction
between Vanessa and Rae.
Then Lexi being like, "Then
how did you end up having sex?"
"Is it platonic? Is it romantic?
Is it sexual? Or is
it none of the above?"
And she's saying it's none of the above.
I'm like, "You just fucked this girl
or had sex with this
girl for fun? For what?"
"Or are you here to fuck
anybody around out of "
Who knows why? No one
knows her intention.
She didn't have anything
to say about that.
At some point, Tiff, she's like,
"I would never just fuck
someone just for the sake of it,
for no reason at all."
I'm not in my 20s where you go to a
bar and grab somebody just for fun.
We're trying to figure
out what we're doing
with the people we came here
with, what we want in our life.
It's so much deeper than that,
and that's not the point of this.
Um, obviously, I still
care about her and love her.
I don't want to be, like,
this naive, stupid girl
that just feels good
feelings about Vanessa.
And I was trying to be
like, "Mildred, Mal, Sam,
whoever's at this fucking table,
let's not talk about Vanessa."
"I don't wanna talk about Vanessa
anymore. This isn't why I'm here."
I was like, "I'm gonna get up.
I'm so tired of this bullshit."
"I'm not Vanessa. Vanessa's
not here to talk for herself."
"Why are we talking about
her? Are you kidding me?"
"Go tell Go fucking
throw a beer in her face."
Was you and I's relationship
brought up at all?
I think that I dodged.
- It was frustrating for me as hell.
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Very frustrating.
What a night.
- I'm sorry it's rough.
- I'm sorry too.
I'm just sad.
I'm sad too.
- I miss when we were just happy.
- We are. It was just a rough night.
- You feel that way?
- We are Yes.
I just wanted to
make sure you're okay.
Were you excited to come home?
Do you wanna
go to bed with me?
I would love to.
I'm just so happy.
Bet you my night was worse than yours.
You look comfy already.
I am comfy. Go get comfy.
No, I'm good.
Rough night.
Rough night.
I knew Lexi was gonna be there,
but I didn't realize she was
gonna get her people on her side.
Okay. This is what she said.
- Okay.
- And it shocked me.
She said you were bragging about
how I was inside of you to her.
Can you believe that?
- I can't imagine myself bragging to that.
- "You put your fingers inside of Rae."
She kept saying that we fucked.
The way she said it was vulgar,
and I was like, "That is not Rae."
I'm literally so
uncomfortable right now.
Yeah. They were, like,
making me defend it.
Like, "But why did you do
it?" I'm like, "I don't know."
They weren't taking that as an answer.
What more of an answer can I give?
It didn't mean anything.
We don't have this romantic us
or, like, whatever connection,
and then they thought that was worse.
We did what we did. I'm
not I wasn't pressured.
- I'm accountable for it.
- Yeah.
We both are.
It was consensual.
I was attacked from all ends.
I don't fucking know. It was awful, Rae.
- I hate that it feels like it's all on me.
- What do you mean?
If I had never figured Vanessa out,
if she ever would have slept with Rae.
- Do you think she's out to get you?
- Yeah.
Really don't like her.
That's what's dangerous about her.
There was a obvious shift in energy.
You talked about it, and it,
like, put you in a weird space.
And you have to know that.
Like, I didn't want to
talk about Vanessa so much.
And it's just not fair.
You have to let it go.
Is there enough room here for you?
It's gonna be okay.
I'm tired of her being
a part of my life.
By "her" you mean
- Hi.
- Hi.
- How you doing?
- I'm good. How are you?
- I am good now.
- How was it?
Oh man.
Lexi was getting into it with Vanessa.
It was really difficult.
Nobody held back.
- Good. That's really good.
- Nobody held back, so
That's a good thing. Never hold
back on what you have to say.
I got to talk to Sam,
and very desperately frustrated,
I asked her,
"I really need your advice."
"I have been trying to talk to Aussie,
and I haven't been able
to get past Aussie."
The way I reacted to
you accusing me earlier,
maybe I shouldn't have
acted the way I did.
Maybe I should've been calm and patient,
but I think that right
now we owe each other
to actually have a conversation.
I'd hope you know how
much I care about you.
Despite what has happened,
like, I'm real, man, like
But what has happened? Because
we haven't talked about it.
I could tell you I care
about you a lot too,
but, if you care about me, then
we should have a conversation.
I'm asking for you to open
up and communicate with me.
- And I think that
- Yeah, we are.
And now we're all all serious
and talking about what happened
We don't have to be serious.
That requires communication,
owning up to our responsibilities.
We actually both signed
up for this, so
We did sign up for it. I'm
not saying that I didn't.
- I'm just saying I'm surprised.
- You're surprised.
Okay, that's a good feeling
to have. You're surprised.
I was just trying to stay on a
high. I just walked in this door.
But what makes you think that
our conversation can't be a high?
Why do you think our
conversation is negative?
Uh, your tone.
Is that how you associate confrontation?
Your tone of voice and
My tone of voice can be
so many different levels.
- I can have emotions.
- You can.
Just because the way
you associate your life
with being calm all
the time and quiet
- Okay.
- doesn't mean I'm like that.
- That's fine.
- We're different.
- We're very different.
- Yes.
- It's okay if I raise my voice.
- It is, absolutely.
It doesn't mean I'm an angry woman.
It just means I want to be heard.
It's also okay for me not to be
ready to have this confrontation
after I just came back from a night
out with my buds, like you say.
And now we're doing this,
and I'm not ready to do this.
I'm not ready to
Like, I'm
I want to go back out, actually.
Can I just go back out? Like
I don't know if you're asking
me or you're telling me,
but I I'm not in charge of you.
No, you're not. And I think
You're just showing that
you run away from these
Okay, if that's what you call it.
- You just run away from everything.
- Sure.
If that's what you believe, fine.
That's what you're
actively doing right now.
- You're leaving.
- Sure.
- Is this what you do to Sam?
- I dunno.
- Is it?
- When she wants to talk and she's hurt.
This is what you do to her?
You want to ask her?
- You talked to her tonight?
- I did talk to her.
I'm not willing to talk to
you when you're in this mood.
- Thanks.
- Well, this is the only mood I have, so
I'm not going and chasing her. I'm
just letting y'all know right now.
It's been two weeks since
my trial marriage started.
I have been myself.
Maybe because I've been too
raw with this experience,
I haven't been noticing her.
I haven't been noticing
that she's not who she is.
Because I've been
thinking this whole time
that she's being authentic like me.
I emotionally invested
so much energy in her,
and I don't want this in a marriage.
Last night was the last straw.
I gotta take care of myself. I
have to prioritize my mental health.
We've had those awesome, amazing,
like time-stands-still moments,
but I don't want to
be married to someone
who couldn't communicate
with me effectively,
couldn't give me what I
needed in order for us to talk.
So I'm just trying to
grab everything I need
and get the fuck out of here.
I am not running away.
I am taking care of me first for
the first time in a long time.
I came to find out if
I'm ready for marriage,
and I thought I had resolved
it, but now I feel like
I don't want resentment.
I don't want drama. Far from that.
Marriage isn't the thing
that I made it out to be.
Not ready for it. Maybe
I'm not ready forever.
Go on.
Hi, Zoey.
Hey, Mildred.
I wish this experience went better
than it did for the both of us.
I was really wanting this to work.
It's a shame it had to end this way.
Thank you for all the laughs
and discoveries we had.
Wish you all the best. Aussie.
Aussie's things are gone. Um
And, like, I mean, it doesn't
make a difference for me.
Like, I have no type of
emotion when it comes to it.
This was Aussie's, and she
just, like, left it there.
Like, she could have placed it back
there so that it's not in my way.
Aussie leaving has nothing
to do with me. Like
I I mean, that's what you want
to do, then that's fine. You know?
Um, yeah, I just don't
I just You know what I do?
I just really, really fucking wish
that she would fucking
take out the trash.
Like, I really do wish that.
Because, in this fucking trash,
there's fucking tampons in here.
I dunno. Is there a way I can call Sam
so she can come take Aussie's trash?
'Cause she likes to
pick up after her, I bet.
You can be free, okay?
Just wish she would've
talked or listened to me
when I was going through
something, like regular partners do.
I'm having all these, like, feelings
from, like, being abandoned in my life.
My mother abandoned me
when I was five years old,
and then my father left,
and then, you know, I just I
lost my godmother at 12 years old.
It just kept going and going and going.
Then I got married and then they left.
It just feels like that again.
I don't want to be here alone
because I don't want
to start telling myself
that I did something wrong
or that it's my fault.
Because it's not my fault,
and I don't want it to
feel like it's my fault
and it is feeling like that
and I don't understand why.
I don't want to be here alone.
I've known Blair since
I was five years old.
She's, like, my best friend.
Are you nervous?
- A little.
- Little bit?
- A little.
- That's cute.
- Yeah.
- Hey.
Oh my God!
- Hi.
- I'm so excited
Come on.
- Hi.
- This is Yoly.
- With the cutest hair.
- Nice to meet you.
- Thank you.
- I love that.
- Welcome in.
- How have y'all been doing?
- Good.
- Crazy ride?
Yeah, definitely.
Tell me everything.
You know, I've been wanting to
start getting ready to have a family,
be married and everything, and
Vanessa's not on that same boat.
Something that intrigued me about Xander
is just how on the same page we were.
Like wanting kids and
starting the family,
even down to, if we had
children, what would we feed them?
I'm like, "Vegetarian, for sure."
So many things aligned. I was like,
"There could be something here."
Is that weird to see?
Just what you just saw?
Honestly, no.
Because I know it's
been a struggle for you.
It all seems to be comfortable
and clicking for you guys.
It's scary, but it's real.
Would you say that
you're happier right now
than you have been
in your relationships?
Mmm! Loaded.
I will say yes.
This is like what I've been looking for
that I didn't know how much I needed.
Yoly and I are getting along so well.
It's like, "Did I come here with
the right person at all?" Like
- Yeah.
- That's what I have to figure out.
I will say, if you didn't come
here with the right person,
I mean, I think you found, like, a
She's a catch.
I can tell you're genuine,
and that's something that I think
I have struggled with Vanessa
for the longest time.
- Right.
- It's just been hard.
Not saying I fully dislike her,
but when Vanessa gets in situations
where she is not in a comfort zone,
she acts up.
She puts on a show.
Kind of "Me, me, me."
I don't know. It's nice. It's
refreshing. To me, it just seems natural.
- Cute.
- Awesome.
It's so beautiful.
- It's a heart strawberry.
- I'm so jealous.
We didn't know this
was gonna be, like
the best days of our lives every day.
I think we're both pretty taken aback
and shocked by the genuine connection
and feelings and of, like
"Oh shit. This is real."
- Yeah.
- It freaks me out.
- Stressful, right?
- It's crazy.
- I need to go to the bathroom.
- I'm gonna eat all your sushi.
Eat it. It's good.
You're a growing girl.
I honestly wasn't
expecting this to happen
Me either.
when you told me
you were coming here.
- I love her.
- I mean, Yoly's, like, changed my life.
- This experiment has changed my life.
- Oh my God.
Mm-hmm. It's wild.
Oh my God, I love that. Do you
think you're falling in love?
Are you really asking me that? Duh.
- I feel like, yes, I still love Vanessa.
- Yeah.
And, yes, she still loves Mal.
But we also are, like,
starting to fall for each other.
I don't think you've started to fall.
I think you have fallen.
Have y'all said that yet?
- No.
- Okay.
I feel like when she
says it and when I say it,
it's gonna really mean something,
and it's probably gonna change our lives
for the rest of, like, forever.
- You're scared that'll be letting go.
- Like dive in.
- So scary.
- Wow.
Um, my favorite Disney
princess was Belle.
She's a'ight.
I think it's also because
- She's like a six. Just kidding.
- like, the reading,
and kind and compassionate.
I think I always
Oh, okay.
Like, she was very
gentle towards the Beast.
He was like
And she was like, "Calm down."
Hey. That's like my life.
It is your life. Actually,
I was just thinking that.
Tiff and I, we really had
the rockiest of starts.
I was just completely in the dark
as to how our relationship
was going to develop.
But now there's been a
nice change of energy,
and Tiff and I are having so much fun.
We're really on the same team here,
and I think that's what
we're both looking for.
- I have a serious question.
- Mm-hmm?
What is the sexiest
and least sexiest name?
Don't say Aussie.
The sexiest name?
I would say, off the
top of my head, Tiffany.
Is this actually a compatibility test?
- Oh yeah.
- Or Bartholomew?
- Gertrude. That's like
- I like the name Gertrude.
But, like, in a sexy way?
This isn't about liking names.
When you get turned on, do you
just imagine a Gertrude there?
- That was my least sexy name.
- Like a Gertrude caressing your hair.
Like, "Hey, my name's Gertrude."
What just happened right now?
Oh my gosh, I need to put this air on.
I just got hot now.
I think I'm sweating. I'm nervous.
Oh my gosh, was that our
first time having intimacy?
No, it wasn't, actually. It
was Gertrude that was doing it.
Oh my God. I cannot.
Tell us what's going
on. We have no clue.
I'm looking for my "hell yes."
I want somebody that's gonna give me,
"Hell yeah. You're the person for me."
"You're the person I want
to spend my life with."
"I don't need to ask more questions.
There's no ifs, ands, or buts."
If there are, we'll figure
them out when they come.
- Were you ready to get married to Rae?
- I was ready.
I saw that life for us.
She was the person I wanted
to spend my life with.
But Rae wasn't ready?
I had gotten my "I'm
ready to move in, but "
Or like, "You check all my boxes "
I still want to get married,
and I think one of the
beautiful things about Mal is
Mal has shown me that everyone's
"hell yes" looks a little differently.
I was the one who received the
ultimatum. I did want to be married.
I really thought that you need
to have all your ducks in a row.
Buying a house with this person,
having children, what
does that look like?
Logistically, I just wanted everything
to, like, align before just proposing.
It was never a no for me.
It was just a timing thing.
Also, I know my partner at the time
to show up in
relationships really strong.
When she's in love, she's in love.
I was also like,
"What makes me different than where
you've been? Why am I the one?"
So it seems like every
relationship she was in,
she's like, "Okay, let's
go to the next step."
From my perspective, yes.
But I am ready for marriage.
I would do marriage.
There obviously are big differences,
I think we're both realizing,
between our exes and the
people we're living with now.
They're probably different.
You both know each other's
exes because you dated them.
- I dated Rae too.
- So how was that?
- She's cool.
- She's a nice girl.
- She's very nice.
- How's she doing?
You don't know?
Rae's doing all right.
Um, she's having
herself a bit of a time.
Rae did have, like, an intimate
moment with someone else here.
Girl Rae's living with.
She's living out her
dreams of being an actress.
So you're not sure she's
here for the right reasons.
I'm about as close
to sure as I could be.
Then don't you feel bad for
Rae, put in that predicament?
I feel horrible for her. I
think there's some blame there.
- I can't blame Vanessa for what happened.
- Yeah, but some actresses are really good.
What happened between her and
Vanessa is a me and Rae problem,
not a me and Vanessa problem.
You think Rae feels
bad about what happened?
I'm just not sure.
I mean, you were broken up.
And what about your, um, ex?
She's with She's with a nice person.
- Okay.
- She happens to also be with
the person that Rae's
living with's ex-girlfriend.
- Oh yeah. Here we go.
- Oh my gosh.
- All three of you are intertwined.
- Yeah.
Welcome to the queer female experience.
That means y'all are attracted
to the same type of people.
That's true.
I'm happy you're meeting
Mal 'cause, in any regard,
she's gonna be a part
of my life forever.
Like, I feel so sure of that.
- I agree.
- She's not going anywhere.
I have to tell you from my heart,
I don't think you know enough
yet to know what it's really like
to be in a so-called "marriage"
or to be dating seriously.
I mean, yeah, we're scared
because you may be rushing into it.
If you think that you're gonna be able
to get married after this, that's a lot.
- Marriage is not easy.
- We've been having the best time.
If we were together for six more
months, I don't think it would change.
It's great you're getting along,
but I don't think you guys
are ready for any next steps.
That's my belief. Do you feel that?
I mean, are you ready
to make such a commitment
to each other like that?
I don't see why every single piece
has to be in order
before you get married.
It's just weird seeing that you
were ready, you weren't ready.
So now you got to figure
out, are you ready?
I would trust her that, if we
were to take that next step,
we can figure out the day-to-day stuff.
I think what's important is I
know where she stands on family,
where she stands on children.
I know where she stands
on financial goals.
- We know where we stand on culture.
- Yeah, absolutely.
Those things we're very in sync about.
I think what's really
awesome about us is,
to me, it's really important that
I learn how to show up best for you.
You're gonna make me
cry. That's very kind.
She does the same thing.
Black women's hair is a thing.
It's kept us from getting promotions.
It's kept us from getting jobs.
My natural hair, just
the way that it is.
And Lexi's like, "Okay,
our hair looks different."
"What do you need from
me to support you?"
And I'm like, "This is wild."
It's not, "Can I touch your hair?"
It's not a weird thing. She's
like, "What do you need from me?"
And potentially equip our children too.
So I love it here. I'm I'm
like, "This is what it's about."
That means a lot,
because, most important thing
for us, we want Lex to be happy.
We want her to be with
someone that makes her happy,
the best version of herself.
Whoever that is, we will love you
and support you, and that's it.
We want our kids to be happy.
I've sold a lot of engagement
rings over the last 30 years.
I have had people come to me that
have known each other for five days.
I've had people that have been
dating for nine, ten years.
It's always interesting to me,
because sometimes the least
likely couples make it.
Sometimes the most likely
couples fizzle quickly.
There's no rhyme or reason.
I think Lexi's amazing. I think
she would make a great wife.
- I have to take a work call.
- Okay.
- Let me give you guys love.
- Give ya lovin'.
- I hope to see you again.
- Thanks, Mal.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Really nice to meet you.
- Thank you.
- Have fun.
- Okay.
- I have to say, she's great.
- She seems really nice.
- I knew you'd love her.
- Very sincere and kind.
- And I think she really cares about you.
- I know.
Do you see yourself Do you miss Rae?
It's been a little hard
the last few days with Rae.
I'm going through a lot.
But, like, what Mal deserves
is for me to be present here,
and then deal with where
I see myself with Rae.
There's a big part of
me that really loves Rae.
She's somebody I've always seen
myself spending my life with.
I've envisioned kids
and all that with her.
I love Mal. Genuinely.
I think Mal's great, and I adore her.
Whatever happens, we're
gonna be supportive.
I mean, we still care about Rae.
She spent time with us, and we're
gonna love whoever you're with,
because that person makes you happy.
That's what I'm here
for. I came here for love.
I'm trying to figure out if
that's what I'm gonna end with.
And I don't know.
It's hard to describe my dad 'cause
he's this successful businessman,
but he's also a big goofball.
I don't know what version
we're gonna get today.
You haven't seen him in a while,
so I'm happy you get
to have this moment.
- I'm happy you're here.
- I get to share the moment.
The man, the myth, the legend.
Big Papa has arrived.
Hey, great to see ya.
- Hi, Mark. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
We're going with the handshake?
I'm from east coast. We would hug,
but I don't know that everybody does.
Nice to meet you. Great.
So the reason that we're both here
is that we were both given an ultimatum
by our ex-girlfriends.
- Xander, she does want to get married.
- Yeah.
She's been so clear about that.
For a long time, I've been
like, "I don't want that."
And it's not just I
don't want to marry her.
I don't even know if
I want to get married.
Did you share that sentiment?
- Uh, mine wasn't as similar.
- No.
- I've always wanted to get married.
- Yeah.
Um, I just didn't know
if I was ready yet.
A marriage, it's forever. You're
You're saying yes to a forever.
- I don't know when I'll ever be ready.
- Yeah.
When the institution
of marriage started,
people didn't live to
80, 90, like we do now.
They died at 25 or 30,
so it wasn't a "life sentence"
quite in the same way.
I've heard people say
marriage should be like a
lease, like a seven-year lease.
At the end of seven years, you
decide whether you want to renew.
If you don't, you both walk away.
And this is where I
get my idea of marriage.
- Holy hell.
- No, I
You know, I'm divorced for 15 years now.
- I've dated a little bit.
- A little bit!
If, at the two or three month mark,
I think that they see a
different future than I do,
I end the relationship.
Time is so precious.
- Be selfish.
- Yeah.
You better be.
That's the reality, or else you're
trying to make someone else happy.
Exactly. That's so true.
I'm in the IT field.
And the one thing that I will
tell you that comes out of IT is
99% right is 100% wrong.
If you were to get married again,
what would the percentage be?
100%. No question.
No question.
If you think about it,
the person giving you the
ultimatum is 100% sure.
They want you.
They want to spend their life with
you, and you, you know, ideally
They want you to feel that way back.
The ideal situation
is you come out of this
knowing yourself better
and knowing what you want.
And if that's harmful to someone else,
that may be a gift to them as well.
Date night.
You're gonna be tie-dying my thongs.
Kidding. T-shirts, for sure.
This is fun.
I know. I'm excited.
I haven't done this in a long time.
All right, hair's up. We mean business.
Do you want a V-neck?
It's such a queer thing
not to show your clavicle,
and people don't understand.
So I'm not showing this.
Like, I am serious.
I feel like I go to sleep
at night having fun with you,
and I wake up having fun with you.
That's probably the cheesiest
thing I've said in my life.
You flirting with me?
To me, the stability is fun.
And I'm happy and I'm calm and in peace.
Trust, stability, honesty.
I feel like that you are,
like, all those things.
- Know what I mean?
- You're blushing.
- Huh?
- You're blushing.
So you heard my past of
feeling like I fall in love fast
and the up and down and the
chaos that that comes with
That comes with it.
Here I go, tearing up. Um
I'm scared of feeling in
love with you, so soon.
It's It's scary because I don't
I don't know. It's just scary.
It's definitely scary.
It also scares me to think about
what you're feeling and
where that's gonna go.
You know? But it's hard to not
- Where it's gonna go when? After this?
- Mm-hmm.
It's the future, right?
I don't feel like I fall in love easily,
but I feel like that this experience
has worked so well
already and I, like
texted you last night,
and I said that we weren't just
the byproduct of the experience.
Yeah, that was random. I'm
like, "What is she sipping on?"
- But I feel like we're not just that.
- We're not.
I love you.
You're not alone in
feeling that way. I
It's terrifying, but I love you.
I know that I've known for
a while that I've loved you.
For a while?
Which is weird and scary, and it
didn't make sense for a long time.
But it's also those moments where
I look at you, then you look at me.
- You're like, "What?"
- Mm-hmm.
And I'm like, "I love you."
That was really sweet.
- Hi.
- Okay. Okay.
Alicia is one of my best friends.
Alicia is the person I call
when it comes to life decisions,
and the decision to marry someone
is the biggest decision of my life.
- You comfortable there?
- I'm okay here.
- Are you good?
- Yeah, I'm good.
Alicia, this is Lexi.
Lexi, this is Alicia.
And Lexi's
This I'm her wife. Right now.
I'm introducing Lexi to my entire
circle, my entire community.
That is what I'm doing.
So you live with this
person for how many weeks?
And then you decide between
three to four years of
being in a relationship
versus three weeks of
with another person?
I chose this.
- I know what's happening. It's fine.
- Just blink twice if you're not safe.
This isn't the Get Out movie.
Everything is fine.
I've never seen you
shocked about anything.
We've know each other for,
I don't know, 12-plus years.
We were in college.
I think we met in, like, '07.
You want to know how old I was in '07?
- No, I don't.
- I do want to know.
I need to know.
In '07 I was 11 years old.
So how old are you now?
- Twenty-four.
- Years old?
Or what? Months?
Oh, that's a cute red flag waving
in the wind. I'll leave it at that.
I'm shocked because Yoly
has been that person.
Like, that's my homie.
But I think, for me, it's
just been a matter of timing.
I just wanted to make sure I
could provide all the things
that I thought marriage comes with.
But I think, as we've
had more conversations
I think her views of
marriage are changing.
- Yeah. For sure.
- Okay
I can tell you, for me, I want Mal
to be a part of my life forever.
Hey, you know, it's lovely.
- Mal is such a loveable person
- Mm-hmm.
and she's good and kind to everyone.
But I feel like a lot of people confuse
Mal's kindness for something else.
When it's simply just
her being a good human.
A lot of women will be like,
"Oh, that girl, you know, I
feel like she's feeling me."
When it's not like that.
For nothing else, like,
what we have in this process,
Mal is always honest with me.
You just can't negate
the love Mal has for Yoly.
- Know what I mean?
- Fair.
If Yoly were to come in here right now
and be like, "F all
this, let's do it now,"
what would you say?
We would have a lot to talk
about. I can tell you that.
- So it's gray.
- Yeah.
It's gray right now?
- Hey!
- Hey. What's up?
- What's up?
- How are you?
Good. How you doing?
- Hi. Who are you?
- Hi. I'm Sam.
Nice to meet you.
- Sort of. We haven't met yet, but
- No.
I don't know what's
going on, so fill me in.
- Oh my God, how you been?
- I've been good.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
So who who are you, Sam?
- Somebody's got to fill me in.
- Oh yeah.
Where's Mildred right now?
I couldn't tell you. I I don't know.
So you guys broke up?
Yeah, we broke up.
So I broke up with my ex too.
And then, coincidentally,
my ex is Mildred's spouse.
Why did you do this?
Um, I did it because Mildred and I
were constantly going back and forth
in cyclical patterns, and
we weren't getting anywhere.
I felt like I had to
join this experience
in order to for us to gain more clarity
if there's anyone else out there,
or if it's actually our
problems that we need to work on.
- I feel like that makes no sense.
- Tell me. How so?
I dunno. I feel like that's a cop-out.
Because if the
relationship isn't working,
then you should end it. Right?
Maybe you're hanging on to
something that either might be over
or will be one day, just to
I don't know. 'Cause you're
not ready to let go, maybe?
Breaking up with Mildred, it's
not gonna be the last time.
They're very on and off.
I don't think it's healthy.
I don't think Tiff and Mildred
are right for each other,
because they can't communicate.
If they want to be together,
they have a lot of work to do.
- You're in a trial marriage?
- Mm-hmm.
So how did you end up together?
I mean, we honestly had
such a good connection.
And I, like Sense of
humor is also one of my tops,
and so Tiff was making corny
jokes, like, every single date.
I got a goofy side.
I got a dark side.
I got a, you know, like a wild side.
I threw it all on the table.
What I really liked about her
was that she was like, "Oh, okay."
"Sure. What else do you have?"
You know? Some people would be
running for the fucking door.
Are you hooking up now?
- No.
- We haven't.
- Why?
- No.
Good question.
How is your sleeping arrangements?
We have to share a bed.
You share a bed? And you
haven't done anything?
- You haven't slept together.
- No.
- Have you kissed?
- No.
How do you know if the
intimacy is there or not?
We don't.
- Can't buy the car without
- I know.
We haven't even, like, held hands.
Hold hands right now.
She's waiting for Can you
hold hands with her, quick?
No! I'm not doing that right now.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- I spilled my drink because
- I don't
I just got nervous
Here, I'll hold your hand.
- That's all you had to do.
- I know.
It doesn't have to be sexual.
What's the whole point
if it's not sexual?
- Intimacy doesn't have to just be sexual.
- Yeah.
I'm just saying, why
throw yourself into this
and not at least try something?
I mean, I'm noticing her
body language and you,
and I think that you're the one
that's closed off and not her.
Tonight, try to kiss each
other, try to touch each other,
try to be intimate.
And, if you don't like it,
then be like, "Fuck it. I tried." Right?
I don't know about that.
No, but I just want
to ask you a question.
If she was to, tonight, touch
you, cuddle you, try to kiss you,
would you turn away?
You're so fucking hot.
Scale of 1-10,
how glad are you the tide did
not come up and wash us away?
I dunno. That sounds
pretty hot to me too.
Watch me roll around
with you in the water.
Picture this. A hot day in Hawaii.
You and I
rolling in the sand, water's coming up.
Maybe you should close your eyes.
Xander, if there's a fucking
ring there, I'm screaming.
Very loud.
- When do I look?
- Now.
Oh, it matches my nails.
You thought about it so well.
- I know. I knew it was your color.
- It's so special.
Shove it in there.
What? It fits like a glove.
I'm seeing how much stuff I
had written since this started.
It feels so long ago.
I mean, it's crazy that this is
gonna be our last night together.
I know.
I'm really going to miss being
able to just talk about things
and just be open.
It's nice to be able to have
a deep connection with you
and to be able to be vulnerable,
but in a way where you
cannot feel so judged
and you can just kinda
show up as you are.
It's kind of actually
scary thinking about that,
going back in with our exes.
Because you're just like, "Damn."
"Like, am I am I gonna
have this chill safe space?"
- Am I gonna, like
- Right, right, right.
"Are my feelings gonna be
validated?" I think that's huge.
What I will say from
the bottom of my heart
is that you are beautiful, strong.
Thank you so much for
being my first wife ever.
We popped each other's wife cherries.
Thank you so much.
- Are you gonna have withdrawals?
- Yeah, a little bit.
Mildred sees me crying a little bit,
she's gonna be like,
"It's gonna be okay."
"I'm not crying about you."
"I'm not crying about you, yet."
- "Yet."
- "Gimme a second."
I like how you unconsciously said "yet."
It was Tiff and Sam this entire time.
They're gonna come up
with some ship name for us
and combine Tiff and Sam.
- Yeah. Stam.
- Yeah.
Stiff. That's better!
- That's so good.
- Stiff.
At the choice, I felt
like I made a mistake.
The only thing I could
think about was Mildred.
But now I've gotten more
comfortable with Sam,
and I feel like there's
a sense of trust there.
There's a sense of growing
understanding of someone.
Where I I feel the safety to just
kind of bring myself to the table.
This is how I feel like we
should have been this entire time.
I feel like, tonight,
I want to big spoon you.
I'm waiting.
Still surprising me,
even till the very end.
- Hold on
- I do feel very awkward doing this.
What is that? Your leg?
- I felt something stiff.
- Oh my God, I can't
Hey, that's good progress, though.
From "I don't want to touch your
hand" to "Will you big spoon me?"
I don't even want to
pull a suitcase out.
I'm a very last-minute packer.
- I'm doing it.
- You're doing it.
- I normally wouldn't put it on the bed.
- Throw it on there.
We're not gonna, like,
lick this, are we?
Is your plan after you put that
down you're like, "Okay "
Sounds fun.
Doesn't it?
What should I pack first?
Start with all the things
that are on the floor.
I'm gonna start in the closet.
The only way I can come
across is if I roll over
Roll into my arms.
Excuse me.
Let me make this as full body
of an experience as I can.
Thank you. Hold on. Okay. You're good.
Okay, I'll get a suitcase out.
Ay, ay, ay.
Tomorrow, when we move
back in with our exes,
is gonna feel real heavy, huh?
We'll see.
The next three weeks are
gonna really tell me a lot.
I was really excited this morning,
thinking about how I was gonna see Lexi,
but that's also me thinking,
like, everything's normal.
But I know that's not gonna
be what the, um, air is
when we first see each other again,
because of the night that happened here.
I don't know. I'm just
feeling a lot of anxiety.
Now we have to see, what
does our future look like?
How do we get back to our
normal, and is that what we want?
The next three weeks are gonna be a lot.
A lot for us to figure out
how we fit back together,
or do we fit back together.
There's just so many questions
that I think will be answered
within the next three weeks for us.
What are you gonna wear the
first night that you see your ex?
Are you going sexy?
- Underneath the dress?
- Yeah.
A bra and panties.
Same. I'm normal.
- That's what I was thinking too.
- Were you?
It's just weird to
pack outfits and think,
"This is what I'm gonna wear when
I have a really big conversation."
I want to plan it out 'cause
I don't want to say anything
that's like too, um,
leading towards like,
"Obviously, I want to be with
you and marry you, like "
Why, though? I don't get that.
She's been claiming you so
hard, why can't you do that?
That's what all of our
ultimatum givers are waiting for.
- It could be embarrassing, but
- I like hearing that, Rae. Thank you.
My life will change.
You know, whatever whatever
she's coming at this with,
like, it's going to be life changing.
That's a big thing.
So I've got to look hot.
You're so
What is in there? What did you do?
I just used a finger.
That's crazy.
I acted surprised. I wasn't.
I was like, "Ah!"
I'm assuming you're of the same mindset
where there's not one
person for everyone, right?
There's multiple people you can love?
- Like a soulmate?
- Mm-hmm.
- You think you have multiple soulmates?
- Yeah. I think you can.
I think you're one of mine.
I do.
Oh shit.
You don't need to say
it back. It's fine
I'm just sitting up here on my ledge.
A lot of pressure.
- How do you know that?
- I don't know.
Have you ever met somebody
that's this easy three weeks in?
So you think that's
coincidence, experience, or
I don't know.
Now I know what a good
marriage looks like for me.
Does the marriage with the person
I came with look like that too?
I could see a world where
we could be together.
I could too.
Actions are gonna
speak louder than words.
You want to get ready for bed?
Last night.
The very last night.
It's my final night with Mal,
and it's really bittersweet.
I think I'm trying to hold on
to every last moment with Mal
because we have
something really special.
Mal's my wife until they force
us to sign the divorce papers.
I'm not thinking about
the next three weeks
because I'm focusing on
the moment I'm in now,
and I honestly wish
this kind of didn't end.
So sexy.
Because we only have
tonight, I'm like
You know, I'm just feeling more.
I'm trying not to shy away from
you getting to that next step.
I didn't know this
conversation would go there.
And, next week, I
will be a mess. I know.
It really sucks for me to be, like,
Well, you're not going anywhere for me.
I don't want this to end.
I don't I don't know how to deal
I don't know how to best
deal with what's happening.
I tend to pull away from,
like, the people that I love
'cause it hurts to
know what we're doing.
It's really me just
trying to protect myself.
From what, though?
Feeling. Feeling sad.
I had the best trial
wife that I could have.
Choosing you was easy.
Having to let you go sucks.
Like, I have to.
Margaux, you crying? You should be.
- She's leaving us.
- Don't tell her that.
Use your words. Go ahead, tell her.
I know.
She sat down.
She's like, "I didn't know that part."
You're looking at my lips.
What? Wanna kiss them?
- You keep looking at 'em.
- You calling me out?
Not bad.
Coming here, I did
not in a million years
think I would fall for another person.
I am scared because I wasn't
in the worst place with my ex.
She's gonna want to pick back up
where you left off. I imagine, right?
- I think. We don't know.
- We don't know, but
Like, that I mean, Mal's family.
Mal's amazing in so many ways.
But we also still haven't
made the move with commitment.
So I'm just kinda like
That's definitely how I
have felt with Vanessa.
Meeting her in high school, and
then we were given this chance
when both of us had recently come
out, and it just felt very, like
"Oh, of course. This is
gonna be my partner forever."
But she doesn't want to get married.
I'm like, "You don't want
to get married to me."
Obviously, she should want
to get married to me, right?
A hundred percent.
I mean, I'm tired of it. I'm tired
of feeling that I'm not enough.
And that I am not getting the
opportunity to show up how I want to,
which is how I feel I've been able to do
- for the past three weeks with you.
- Really?
I feel like we're already
ready to be committed.
It's just hard to be telling
both the people that we love
that we have this thing, and we've
had it for a whole three weeks,
while we haven't talked to them.
I'm worried about your ex
putting her claws in you.
You're not gonna let her
fuck you up in the mind?
I really am scared to think about
what it's gonna be like when
you're back with your ex.
I am worried that it's gonna be
as amazing as our past three weeks,
and that, I don't know, then
that I could actually lose you.
I can feel like I'm the
right person for you.
You feel that way?
But I want you to decide
what's best for you. You know?
I don't want Mal telling you
either. I want you to decide.
You have touched and impacted my life
in so many ways, and you've showed me
God, I hate
No, you've just showed me that I
Because I'm not, like,
difficult to love.
You literally were just so
effortless and easy and wonderful.
You're just You're so fucking great.
Thank you for loving me the way you do.
I'm gonna miss you so much.
Me too.
What are you gonna miss?
Your soft lips.
I love you.
I love you.
I don't know how I'm gonna
sleep without you tomorrow.
Oh God.
I don't want to lose you.
It's just so messed up.
They're literally gonna
have to pry me off of you.
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