The Ultimatum: Queer Love (2023) s01e07 Episode Script

Cocktails and Confrontation

Is it you in my dreams? ♪
You that I'm seeing ♪
You that keeps me up ♪
You that drives me crazy ♪
You that I want ♪
[MAL] Come on, mama.
[YOLY] Can I do anything?
- What is it you're looking for?
- The perfect strawberries.
What does perfect strawberry
look like? What is the
Girl, some of them look beat up.
- Have you picked your blueberries yet?
- No. Happen next.
So why don't you just grab
a handful of blueberries?
They feel a little bruise-y in
my fingertips, I don't want it.
How nice is it to know that
this human being is like,
"Let me pick the best strawberries
for the person I love."
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- [MAL] Good answer.
- Amazing.
You look a little
cold. You want a hoodie?
I'm gonna go get one.
- You're doing stuff around the house.
- [MAL] Mm-hmm.
[YOLY] That's been really helpful.
- Is that sustainable?
- Yes.
I like it being, like,
cleaned up or, like
You know, making sure the
shoes are over in that place
and the catch-all is here, and
there's not random shit in there.
Or you teaching me how
the bed needs to be made,
instead of just throwing it over.
- [YOLY] Mm-hmm.
- Um
I've been liking all those things.
What we're doing right now, is
this what life looks like for you,
as a wife?
This is great in a roommate
sense. This is awesome.
But I'd want it to be more romantic.
[MAL] Mm-hmm.
In the romantic way, I'm having
a hard time coming back to you.
I love my friends. I do.
But I wouldn't make
breakfast for my roommate.
I remember the first time I
slept over, you made me breakfast.
You were like, "I've never
done this for any of the girls
who I've had over."
I was like, "Yeah right," 'cause
you were so quick to do it.
No, I liked you, Yoly.
- [MAL] I liked you.
And I still do.
I still have pictures
that I took of you,
when you woke up in my apartment.
You used to take a lot of pictures.
This is what life looks like for me.
I like this life. I
like this life with you.
I'm here to be with you,
here to leave with you.
Just can't seem to get
you off of my mind now ♪
What have you done ♪
What have you done to me? ♪
- Close your eyes ♪
I'll make you count to ten ♪
Do you believe it? ♪
This looks so delicious. I'm so excited.
[AUSSIE] Good.
This is delicious.
I think you're on a really good
track for being househusband.
[LAUGHS] That was always my dream, babe.
- Well, you played that really well.
- [LAUGHS] I did.
Minus the house part, where
you do things around the house.
- Babe, I always cook majority of the time.
- Cooking, yes.
I don't think that's the only thing
a househusband should
do, is just cook
- Mmm.
- and do dishes.
I think a househusband should
probably do more than that.
And what is the definition
of a househusband to you?
Say you were making, you know
We're talking about
three times as much as me.
And say, "Okay, why
don't you just not work,
'cause it doesn't matter
if you work or not."
And, like, do a business, you know?
Do you feel like you'd
rather want to do that?
Of course.
Like, not work?
Oh no, I mean, like, just to
focus on the stuff we love. Yeah.
I was thinking about
my view on gender
[SAM] Mm-hmm.
and gender roles.
And, believe it or not,
it has changed. [CHUCKLES]
- Just like
- Wait. Since when?
- Like two days ago?
- Oh.
I had this idea
Kind of similar to our discussion
about you making more money.
- [SAM] Mm-hmm.
- That
To For me to feel masculine,
which I do on the inside,
I have to be the breadwinner.
- Right.
- Or, um
- Because that's how you were raised.
- That's how I saw my mom and dad.
Even when I would play house with
my middle brother, I would tell him,
"I'm the husband. You're
the wife. Make food for me."
"I'll be back. Gonna go to work."
I was conditioned with
that traditional view.
But I'm seeing it now, that
my role in a partnership,
- in this modern world
- That's really cool.
doesn't have to fit that.
That's really cool, because
that was one of your big blocks.
Just the mere fact that you're starting
to recognize those things is huge.
And I see it now, boo.
That's good.
I know. Really good.
How I really see it,
in terms of having to take
care of the household
I would rather hire somebody and
neither of us be the houseperson.
To me, it's so worth it.
[AUSSIE] That was always my dream.
Just let go ♪
We can leave it all behind ♪
Just say so ♪
And search for your sunrise ♪
You've just been my person for the
past three years, right? Like
And I love you a lot.
Obviously, like
the other day we had a
fight, and it hurt a lot.
Last night was good though.
There was a point I just was,
like, looking at you and I felt like
for the first time in a bit of time,
I was, like, falling for you again.
That was just the top you picked for me.
It was a nice top.
I was a little worried about
whether or not we
would be able to, like,
explore intimacy with each other again.
Because it's like, how can you
even begin to have conversations
about an engagement
if you're not intimate with one another?
I think you tested me
a little last night.
Kissing you in the car was fun.
- I wasn't talking about the car.
- Figured you weren't.
It was nice though.
I feel excited about us right now.
And that's It's
a really good feeling.
[RAE] Um, you know, I
guess I'm just thankful
for the, like, chance to do this,
and to see if we
can fit back together.
And I'm just thankful
that you're trying,
and you're giving me the space
to figure out whatever
the fuck is going on up here.
Obviously, like, we know where
we both stood coming into this.
Do you feel like, in any way,
your idea of marriage has changed?
I've always thought the
same way about marriage.
Marriage is a commitment to someone.
To grow with that person and build
this life with that person, right?
It's doing all the big, like,
monumental, like, life things together.
It's special. You want it
to be with the right person.
But I think the finality of
marriage always scares me.
I am very aware of how, like
how much, like, I love you,
and how important you are to me.
You're the one thing I'm
excited to come home to.
I love having you sit out there and
talk to me when I'm grilling steak.
I like going on a drive with you.
I, like, really love our moments.
And they are not all big,
and they're not all small.
But they all mean a lot to me.
I know
that you fit into my life,
and I know I fit into yours.
And, even more than that, like,
I feel like I fit into our life.
And I don't I don't
want to lose that.
Because I really like our life together.
We do have a good life.
I know I can be a lot sometimes.
I think, for me, teamwork
is a really big thing.
I'm a good I'm a good team player.
Sometimes we're, you know,
passing the ball over to you,
and sometimes we're
passing it over to me.
The Brady to your Gronky.
The Brady to my Gronky.
That's what I'm looking for in life.
I do think you're special, and I
do think you're a wonderful person.
I think you deserve to see that
when you look in the mirror.
Whether you know it or not.
So I promise to be there to back you up.
And I promise that
I want to just be your
partner, supporting you.
And putting my heart into this.
But I'm also gonna
promise to keep giving you
the space if you need that too.
And I promise that no matter what
happens, good, bad, or indifferent,
I will always, always
make you feel loved.
And to always show you that,
like, when you need me I'm here.
I'll never let you go ♪
No matter what might change ♪
I'll always find my way ♪
Back to you ♪
[VANESSA] For real.
I'll always find my way ♪
Back to you ♪
It's nice.
It's nice, like, feeling like
we're dating again, you know?
It's wild.
I'm getting to know you again.
You're getting to know you again.
And I'm getting to learn
and know Vanessa 2.0.
- Mmm.
- Lucky me.
You are lucky. I'm awesome.
My favorite thing is when
you just talk yourself up.
Like, "I'm the shit."
I think I need to do it now because,
if I don't, I think I'll cry.
- So I'm gonna keep talking myself up.
- Good.
- I love you.
- I love you.
Since, like, you, like,
have this new discovery
of wanting to get married,
what are things you
expect out of a marriage?
I dunno. Have to wait and see.
I can't really describe how
I'll be because I don't know,
but I think I'm much more open
to making long-term decisions.
Which is cool.
It's wild that it's, like,
not even, like, scary for you.
- Doesn't feel like it is.
- It's more exciting than scary.
A marriage is a lot like what
we've had for these last few years.
True. And we've grown a
lot since the beginning.
- Yeah.
- You know?
I ♪
Don't ♪
Feel ♪
I feel sad that I was not present,
and I hate that.
Alone ♪
Here ♪
Again ♪
You ♪
And me ♪
Space ♪
Between ♪
[TEARFULLY] I loved who we used to be.
And now it's changing every day.
And we don't know
where it's gonna end up.
Do you trust me to figure it out?
Got me spinning 'round ♪
Oh, got me spinning 'round now ♪
You're my air ♪
Come with me.
You're my air ♪
[VANESSA] I love you.
Going 'round ♪
Why are you saying "ew"?
You know that's what you
first said when we first met?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah, you said, "Ew."
- I like your earrings.
- Thank you. You look really good too.
I like that turtleneck. It looks sexy.
We've been going through so
much the last couple days.
I dunno. It's just really hard
when it comes to conflict
with you. Like, you know?
I think we're both guilty,
and we come off like
we're accusing already.
We make up facts in our head
and make up our own conclusions.
That's why we interrupt each
other. We both talk a lot.
We don't value each other's voices.
Well, I'm sorry for interrupting you.
How often do you feel
like I don't let you talk?
All the time.
- So I should just be quiet?
- No.
When do I have permission to speak?
It's not that you should have
permission. It's a common respect
Because now that you're telling
me that I interrupt you
- We're having a conversation, clearly.
- Even just now you spoke over me.
How do I not feel like
I'm interrupting you?
You do that by not interrupting.
Same for me, not interrupting you.
But, Tiff, you talk a lot.
Like, you don't shut up.
We need to both feel
heard and feel understood.
Being in a trial marriage with you,
I believe I've been attentive to that.
- No. You haven't.
- Is that
- I'mma tell you why
- Would you like me to finish talking?
I don't want to be with a person
that doesn't allow me to talk.
Because, just the same way as
you feel disrespected, so do I.
I'm a Latina, and when
you're with Latinos
everybody speaks over everybody.
You've been to my family's house.
If you don't speak
louder, you're not heard.
And I'm an asshole, and I
tend to speak over people.
I think you're confusing that,
because you can stop being an asshole,
but I can't stop being a Latina.
I am a Latina, and I'm always
gonna be a Latina until I die.
- What do you want me to do?
- Being respectful has no race, Mildred.
I cannot marry someone
that blames being Latina
as to why she can't show human decency.
I never said that.
Did you not just use
that as your fucking card?
- That's not cool.
- I'm not gonna argue no more.
Because I might never interrupt
you again in your life,
so don't worry about it.
This is bullshit.
We are coming down to the fucking wire.
- This is
- Stop yelling.
If you can talk however you
want to whenever you want to,
you could find someone else.
I'm always gonna love you.
I'm always gonna You're
always gonna be someone I love.
But I need unconditional
support from my partner.
It doesn't matter how much I love you.
- It's such bullshit.
- What do you mean it doesn't matter?
Pressuring into a engagement
You just don't want the pressure part.
You want to walk out of here with
me without feeling the pressure.
I'm just I'm done talking
about fucking marriage.
Like, this is stupid.
I lost here, you know.
Like, I don't fucking matter.
It's just That's what it is.
I'm going off what you're telling me.
Can we go ♪
Right ♪
Oh my God.
Back to the way things used to be ♪
'Cause we're not ♪
Better on our own ♪
Go back to what I'm doing.
- Bitch, don't!
- [MAL] What?
High five.
[MAL] May God be with me.
You wish.
You wanted it.
- I win.
- Good job.
I win.
If you're ready ♪
Here's what you gotta do ♪
See, with my heart ♪
You break it, you buy it ♪
- Yoly, I'm I'm
[MAL] Damn, watch my face.
[MAL] You're foolish.
You're a fool. What's wrong with you?
[YOLY] You.
So we're meeting your brother today.
He helped me out a lot.
- Yeah?
- Um
He'd be the first person in
my family to try and call me
by my name that I go by
now instead of my dead name.
Whereas even my closest friend
back home in Australia still
calls me by my dead name.
[SAM] His hair is so long!
Doesn't he look like a rock star?
- Aw, you look so cute.
- [RON] How're you doing?
- I love what you're wearing.
- Thank you!
So how you been?
- [SAM] Pretty good.
- Yeah?
- [AUSSIE] Yeah.
- Yeah. Things are a lot better now.
- Thank you. Cheers.
- Thank you.
[RON] I'm sure you both
have a lot to process.
- 100%.
- [SAM] Yeah.
[AUSSIE] There's a choice.
Do we still go home with each other?
- Because, obviously, I'm
- Engaged, and not just going home.
Right. Big time.
- You missed that part.
- Engaged.
- Engaged at the end of this.
- Like, actually.
- Like, actually. Like, really.
- Like, actually.
- Ooh, scary!
- [AUSSIE] I know.
So engaged to me,
or we leave single.
- [RON] Okay.
- Yeah.
So I have a big decision. We both do.
What do you think about Aussie
getting engaged potentially?
She should just do
what makes her happiest.
It's okay to be single,
okay to be married.
- Don't worry what other people think.
- [AUSSIE] Yeah.
I feel like the way we were raised,
our parents, especially
Mom, would, like,
tell us every little
thing we need to do.
- Yeah. And what to think.
- Yeah, exactly, and what to think, right?
So she never encouraged
us to think for ourselves.
No. Well, they're
first-generation immigrants.
So they're very, um
- You know, traditional Chinese. Catholic.
- Might even be
- Yeah.
- Kind of very, you know
- [SAM] My family's the complete opposite.
- Oh really?
My family is pretty accepting.
They're very open-minded.
- We play board games, like
- Mm-hmm.
- What a family.
- [AUSSIE] I know.
I hear about these sorts of families
- Me too.
- You see it on TV and the news
Backyard parties, music,
singing, all of it.
They dance.
- Our family
You haven't even, like, told them,
you know, your sexual orientation.
That's a huge one, Ron.
My mom, you know what she has done?
She's asking me like,
"Hey, do you want to meet my
friend's son, who's a doctor?"
Denial is a powerful thing.
I'm trying to grasp the idea of
what that life is gonna be like
in terms of being received
by, like, the family.
Like, am I gonna have to be
pretending to be a friend?
- My ex before was not out.
- [RON] Yeah.
And so it was, like, very hard
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
having to pretend all the time.
Okay. Well, it depends
on whether my sister,
you know, tells them she's gay,
and that you're, you
know, her romantic partner.
I've never, um, had anyone that
I would potentially want to marry.
And now that I do, you absolutely
I'm I'm like, you're
my partner. You know?
That's how I'm gonna introduce Sam.
But this is the first time I'm thinking
about getting married, to a woman,
and I'm just like, that's
gonna that is gonna be a thing.
We look to other people
to make choices for us.
Now we need to learn how
to make our own choices.
Yeah. Lead my own life for once.
So, Sam, would you
actually leave my sister
if she chooses not to marry you?
If Aussie is not in a
position to get engaged,
that is what happens.
It's been really stressful.
Thank you for setting this up.
[TIFF] Mm-hmm.
I've been processing a lot of emotions
and just thinking about a lot of
You know, just, like,
diving into our relationship
and kinda thinking about us.
I think that there's
a lot of good things
that's come out of this experience.
We've learned a lot.
I think part of the apprehension
of wanting to propose
is I notice that,
throughout the two years that I've
dated you, we do get in fights.
In the heat of the moment, you
know, you just toss me away.
You just kinda throw me away, you know?
After many times and
dozens of times, um,
it started to hurt so much
that I started to become numb,
and it did make me feel like
I was disposable, you know?
You always say that. "People
in my life have left me before."
"People in my life have just
given up" or "I've given up."
And I've been trying to prove to you
that regardless of everything
we've been through, that
I think the one way that
I can show love is to stay.
When everyone else wouldn't.
We did get into a heated moment.
In that moment, I understand that
I may have hurt your feelings.
It wasn't my intention to.
It truly wasn't.
Um, and I understand you have
every right to feel the way you do,
but I noticed, in that moment, you
just completely threw me away again,
in a sense of, like
"No, actually. I won't.
I won't be your fiancée."
You know?
And that, to me, hit very, very hard,
um, because it felt like
this trial marriage symbolizes something
that is much deeper than the
relationship that we had back home.
- Yeah.
- To me, it symbolized like we are married.
And that's what terrifies me, Mildred.
That was what It terrifies me
that we could get engaged or married,
and then one day, wake
up and you want a divorce
just because you're upset.
That's something that
I can't come back from.
And it's the biggest
decision of my life.
It's supposed to last a lifetime,
not be thrown out next week.
Not be thrown out ever.
I dunno.
I've been thinking about
how every time we have a
fight, I run away, you know?
And I throw you away,
and I say it's over.
Looking very deep into
our relationship, I
I'm afraid. I'm afraid of
I'm afraid of telling
you that I love you.
I was so afraid of being rejected.
I was so afraid of
feeling so strongly for you.
I've never felt like that
for anybody in my life.
I've always had problems with
having adult relationships.
And in this experience
I've learned that,
if I'm gonna sit here and blame
somebody for something they did,
I need to point fingers at myself first.
I failed, and I'm sorry.
Been thinking about
everything I wanna tell you
and how much I love you.
And that all you
wanted to do is love me.
And you always showed up for
me, and you never left me.
And I I'm sorry that
I couldn't see that.
I'm sorry that, in our
two-year relationship,
I couldn't I couldn't give
you the credit that you deserve
for always showing up for me.
Even after I broke up with you, you
were at my doorstep the next day.
You texted me.
You were there for me every single
time, and that means so much.
That means so much more
than than anything.
And, like, you're still here.
And you don't know how
grateful I am for that.
I will always love you for that.
I'm hoping with my heart
that it's not too late
to recreate
everything that could have been.
It's now or never.
And, if you let me, I can
I can show you that, every single
day, I can't be afraid anymore.
These are strange days ♪
[MILDRED] I love you so much.
Life plays out ♪
In the strangest ways ♪
I want what you want ♪
To be all right ♪
To notice, to find my faith ♪
[YOLY] Like, I am
nervous over everything.
I got your back. I think I've shown
you that I love you no matter what.
Thank you. You have.
- Hi, babies.
- What's up?
- How are you, mi amor?
- Mamá. I'm going to my girl, hold up.
Hello, baby.
- You look so good.
- Thank you. You too.
- Hi.
- Hi, wifey.
- Ex-wifey. Sorry.
- Yeah, what the hell?
- You want a drink?
- I'm gonna definitely
[LEXI] Thank you for coming out with me.
[RAE] If you even try to
kiss me with that lip
Kiss you? Ugh
Who would do that?
Look, it's cute over here.
Really cute.
Ever since our last kiss ♪
Every time I think I'm free ♪
Seems like I keep running back ♪
We go to the bar first?
[VANESSA] I dunno.
Seems like I keep
running back to you ♪
[VANESSA] Could I have an Aperol spritz?
- You okay?
- [YOLY] Yeah.
[MAL] Okay.
- This way and that way
- Hello.
- Hi.
- How's it going?
- Good, how are you?
- Good.
- You look good.
- You too.
- [LEXI] Hello.
- Let me see.
- Picked it out myself.
- [MAL] What?
- Yep.
- You look good.
Good to see you.
- Hi, how are you?
- Great. I'm really good.
Vanessa messaged me to let me know
that Xander and Yoly were communicating.
There's a piece of it that
feels a bit manipulative.
Vanessa, we are not friends.
- What's up?
- How are you?
- Good, how are you?
- Good.
- [MAL] Can I grab you?
- Yeah.
- Can you join us?
- Oh.
[MAL] So I just want to talk.
I am curious to know why you sent
me the DM that they were speaking.
It was a big surprise to me,
and I felt like I didn't want you
to be blindsided at the end of it.
No, I mean, she told me,
and if you're bothered about it,
tell her to stop talking to Xander.
They're allowed to have that
moment, and that's fuckin' okay.
Like, that's why we're here.
I felt like you were trying
to stir the pot for me.
You have every right
to feel how you want.
Vanessa thinks that
she's a fire starter,
but she feels more like a fruit fly.
Like, you see one fruit fly show up,
and you're just kinda like, "Ugh."
Just for my own heart, there
was nothing that was problematic
that they were sending to each other.
It was just that they were talking.
That was the only problem?
Yoly had asked for a selfie.
There were a few things
that made me uncomfortable.
- I didn't hear that when you told me.
- Okay.
[YOLY] I didn't think
that happened, but okay.
I don't remember it happening.
She thought I sent you
The message said, "I don't want to see
it if it's not a selfie." Winky-face.
- And then you sent a photo
- Oh. In response. Yes, I can see that.
- In response to what?
- [YOLY] Some
- Since we're here.
- All right.
I'm assuming something she posted.
Maybe like you being somewhere.
Just like, "Stop
posting where you're at."
- "Take a selfie."
- Yeah.
- So that was probably it.
- Oh. Okay.
That was it.
- That's the only question I had.
- Yeah.
- Do you have any questions?
- Okay.
- I'm gonna go take a shot.
[YOLY] And that was it.
- Well, that's a part I didn't hear.
- Okay. Didn't think it happened.
Are you guys all feeling,
like, ready to make a decision
in whatever this is
Like, a week I guess?
- What do you want?
- Come with me.
- Okay. Cool.
- How do you feel about the decision?
- What just happened?
- You know, I don't know.
I just don't understand.
- [YOLY] Hi.
- Hi.
How have you been? I miss you.
I miss you too.
I kept thinking like, you know,
like, "What were those feelings?"
"Was I, like, dreaming for three weeks?"
"Okay, no. Like, I'm still
thinking about her a lot, and "
- You were?
- Yeah.
I think we had an amazing time together.
And I would hate to see, like,
that it ends with this experience.
Do you feel like you grieved it
to the point where you're like
- Grieved what? You and I?
- Yeah.
Or like, I guess, do you
feel like that you, like,
"got over us"? Like
- I I don't want to cry now. I
- I'm sorry.
I don't know what
I don't know what to do.
I got, like, so many
memories built up in here
that, like, I can't grieve it
because I have
so much thought that
there's a potential.
It's hard shit.
You're so fucking beautiful.
You look cute.
Where's the jacket from?
Zara. Duh.
You can't bring that back to Hawaii.
Well, take me somewhere else.
How's it been going?
- With Yoly?
- Yeah.
Up and down.
[MILDRED] Come over here,
you fucking hot-ass date.
She's the trial wife I never had.
I think everybody's going inside.
- Everybody's going?
- Yeah.
Oh! Oh! Yes. Okay. I want to
tell you this nail salon story.
It's gonna She I've
been hyping this story up.
You know I go on Groupon a
lot. And so I won a Groupon
[YOLY] What do you see?
- Hmm?
- What do you see?
Nothing. Just the three of them.
[YOLY] Oh.
Bitch, you're crazy. I
see what you're doing here.
Trying to involve yourself in my
relationship and trial marriage.
For fuck's sake, stop.
- [RAE] I have to go there.
- Are you avoiding me?
- I'm not.
- You are?
- Are you avoiding me?
- Maybe.
[MAL] How have you two been?
Most of the time it's been
pretty good, but we've
- [AUSSIE] It's been challenging.
- But in a really good way.
- Yeah.
- 'Cause we're both showing up differently.
- Yeah.
- This shit has been intense. Yeah.
- I'm gonna talk to Mildred a second.
- Okay.
Oh boy.
I miss you.
Why did I have to lie? ♪
Tell me why you let everything go ♪
Think I've lost my mind ♪
I love you.
I love you too.
Like, I feel what you
guys are feeling right now.
It's so big and it's just so strong.
[MAL] Can I step in?
- Want me to not step in?
- You can do what you want.
What do you want?
[YOLY] I don't know. It's very intimate.
I don't know how to answer you.
I just said what I said.
And I think that you
sticking to who you are,
I think that would be
- Do you I can walk away with you.
- Okay.
anybody sticking to what
they actually believe in.
You gonna leave me?
[MAL] You okay?
That's a lot That's
a loaded question.
I honestly kinda want to go
back and join that conversation
'cause it was a
conversation that was, um
Mildred was speaking about things
important to her that relates to me,
that relates to Xander.
I kinda wanna go back to
that, to be super honest.
But I don't want you to feel like
I'm not thinking of you. I am.
Is it conversation that I can join
or that you don't want me to join?
I think it would be more
authentic without you there.
Just I just want to
There's just some questions
I have not had answered.
I just want maybe, like, five,
ten minutes. If that's okay?
- It's not long.
- Is it a trust thing?
- Need me to trust you?
- Please. Yes.
Go for it.
Thank you.
- This is not easy. I need you to know.
- I know it's not.
- It's not.
- I'm not okay either.
- It's, like, not easy.
- I know.
Break up.
Passing through me ♪
Passing through me ♪
- [YOLY] Are we in sight of somebody?
- No.
- Can you look?
- I don't know.
- Yeah.
- [YOLY] Scoot back.
- Still in line of sight?
- No.
- Okay. Am I?
- No.
[XANDER] I don't want to
overstep my boundaries,
and I know I should be
willing to go there, but
I respect you for not wanting
to overstep boundaries.
- You're respectful.
- So I don't want to.
[XANDER] But I do want
to make sure that, like,
you do know how I feel,
and I feel like that you do.
But you know, right?
I I think I do.
I guess I'm just trying to figure
out where you're at a bit.
Let's do this thing.
You wanna be married, yeah?
That's all I need.
But wait, but
You feel that?
Do you? It's okay if you don't.
I do. I don't. I do and I don't.
If Mal wasn't showing up
She really does just want
what's best for me also.
She's been supportive as fuck
and, like, very much, like,
not even trying to get me to not be
Is that what you want? Support?
So support is something I want.
The things that she's
giving to you, though,
is it something that
you could get out of
a friend?
You don't have to answer. I
just want you to think about it.
I am trying to be as receptive to
the way she's showing up romantically,
outside of being just friends.
Coming from a relationship with you
where the romance was very much there.
- And the intimacy.
- Yeah.
And the support.
I don't know how to
differentiate that right now.
- You don't need to tell me anything.
- I know.
I know.
I do want to explain and tell
all these amazing things
about, like, why we could work,
but, like, I also
don't want to feel like
I'm a second pick.
I don't feel like that I
can 100% rely on anyone.
You know?
I don't want to feel like I'm
not being chosen anymore.
Oh, are we gonna fall? ♪
Am I crazy for caring at all? ♪
[YOLY] I feel like my heart and my
mind are in two different places.
I am
still in love with Xander.
If me and Mal were further broken
apart, I would marry Xander,
but I love Mal.
I don't know.
Am I crazy for caring at all? ♪
Am I crazy for caring at all? ♪
[TIFF] So you're torn.
You've been so set on being
married to her for a long time,
from my understanding.
- Um, what changed?
- [MAL] She met Yoly.
I don't think you came here like,
"I'm gonna fall for this other person."
But, regardless of all this
shit, I love Yoly, period.
And I respect her enough, and I
love her enough, if it is you
Then, like, okay, it is you. Right?
But, like, I love Yoly.
I've been through shit with Yoly.
I know things about her. I
know her baggage she comes with.
I choose Yoly at her very worst.
I choose her with all the trauma.
I choose her when we weren't shit.
I choose her when she
can't provide shit for me,
and I still choose her.
Do you choose Yoly?
- No disrespect to you.
- No, no. Good question.
So I'm asking, like, do you choose her?
It's conflicting because, like,
I love you, and Yoly loves you.
Vanessa's asked me hard
questions like this,
and I very much am usually someone
that wants to try and respond
and answer as quickly as I can,
'cause I know everyone's dying
to know, but I can't feel like
that I can do that
appropriately right now.
- Because
- Does she know that?
- Let's bring her in here, talk about it.
- I don't know.
She's like, "I don't
want you kissing her."
Sorry. You're talking
about something serious,
but somebody said bring Yoly
here and talk. Grab your purse.
[XANDER] I hate to spotlight Yoly
and I's relationship right now.
- But here we go.
- [YOLY] Oh God.
[MAL] So, just to catch you up to speed,
like, I've loved you at our worst.
I still love you. I still choose you.
Um, and I was just asking Xander,
"I'm curious if you choose Yoly
the same way I choose Yoly."
I mean, no, because I That's
not the history that we have.
But do you choose her?
I'm I'm choosing myself right now.
[MAL] Fair.
I would hope that you
choose yourself also.
- This isn't the decision night.
- It's not.
So was tonight the fun cocktail party
we envisioned or the dramatic 2.0?
I don't know where you went, but
[RAE] I know where I was.
[LEXI] How was it seeing Vanessa?
She had asked me at one point,
"Are you avoiding me?" and I'm like,
"I don't know, maybe."
I It's just so awkward for me.
- So uncomfortable.
- I dunno why you couldn't be honest.
I'm not looking for her
to be a part of our life.
And if you haven't set that boundary,
how will that boundary be known?
- What?
- You look at me, like, with disgust.
Like, as soon as,
like, she walked up and
we, like, touched for a second.
I don't want that.
How do you not get that?
I made it very clear that
I needed to be chosen.
This was such a simple
way for you to choose me.
- I thought we had a good night.
- We did.
- I just still feel
- We obviously didn't.
- I didn't
- She hugged you first.
I maybe, like, went like this
and literally didn't even
look at her in the face.
I didn't.
You think I made, like, really intense
eye contact with her? Like, I didn't.
She still clearly has
power in this relationship.
It sucks, but
- Oh my God.
- I'm not saying that about you.
It's ridiculous.
No, I didn't say that about you.
I It affects me not you.
I'm not asking you to walk away now.
All I'm saying is it bothers me.
I don't want her in my life.
I'm in this with you. I'm trying
to think about you. Like
Why are we even talking
about this situation? Like
Because I want to feel supported.
I do support you.
It doesn't mean I need to not
look someone in the eye ever.
- You wanted me to be like, "Fuck you."
- No.
I just wanted you to not look at
her and to just not talk to her.
- I feel like I didn't engage.
- I didn't look at her once tonight.
She's fucking with our
life, and I don't like it.
I don't like it.
The antagonistic behavior.
She's not stupid.
In the way she manipulates and she
behaves, she's plenty calculated.
"Let me go poke there."
"My relationship with
Xander's not working out?
Mmm, let me poke there."
She is calculated, Rae.
Down to her fuckin' core.
She is calculated and full of shit.
Not a good person.
Not a good person.
Anything I want to
talk about, you shut
Or you make a joke
about it, and, like
Sure, 'cause you had good
times with her. I get it.
I did have an experience here.
Like, it was hard. Just as
we're having an experience here.
I'm sad this turned out like
this, because I didn't
I don't know. We talked last night
about just wanting to have good moments.
And I felt like today we had that.
- Like, I was with you, like
- I'm
Part of this process is
identifying our values.
I I can't tiptoe around this shit
before we get engaged.
- Why are you making that face?
- I don't know what to tell you.
All you can focus on is the negatives.
For the love of fuck, stop
putting words into my mouth.
- Hmm.
- Please.
Stop saying what I am and
am not feeling right now.
Yeah, it is hard when people do that.
Then, like, just fucking
don't be with me, then.
It's like fucking cancer.
It just eats at you.
This is the girl that looked
me dead in the fucking face
and told me what you did with her hands.
That person.
Do you know how hard
it is to relive that?
Oh my fucking God. It was
just a hug. It was a hug.
I think she is more consumed
by how she feels about Vanessa
than the progression
of our relationship.
There's so many ups and downs.
And, like [SIGHS]
At the end of this we're supposed to
have an engagement, and I don't know
[SNIFFLES] how that can even happen.
[RAE] I tried my best.
Like, I did my part, and
my part wasn't good enough.
I'm so proud of you.
I just want to get straight
to it 'cause I just can't even.
Damn, straight to? I dunno what
that means, but I'm here for it.
I guess your conversation with Xander
You guys were talking about
me and Xander's relationship.
I was like, "Are you sure of
Yoly the way she's sure of you?"
- Do you think I'm sure of Xander?
- Yes.
What do you think I'm sure of?
You've been sure enough to let me know
that you're unsure of
us because of Xander.
But, no matter what, even at
our worst, I still choose Yoly.
If she chooses you, I still choose Yoly.
That's my person.
"And I just want to know if
you choose her the same way,"
and she said, "I don't
know. I can't answer that."
- She didn't choose you, Yoly.
- You're taking the choice away from me.
I'm not.
You're taking my autonomy away from me,
because I'm not ready to make a choice.
I never took away from that.
I've showed up very consistent
to you this entire time.
[YOLY] Absolutely have.
Now I'm taking your autonomy away,
because I'm not like
crucified over this?
I think that's unfair for you to say.
When you ask me how I feel about Xander,
there's love there. There's comfort.
There's ease there.
But there's also comfort and
ease and love with you and I.
You can't have us both.
I'm very much in love with you.
What I can't lie about is that
the romance is not there for me.
I tried a little last night. It
felt comfortable. I'm doing my best.
Like, I'm here. I'm showing up.
And I'm so grateful. So grateful.
Do not take it for
granted at all. At all.
Okay, I'll show up
the way I'm showing up.
I'll make that consistent,
'cause I can do that.
I can commit to that. We
go to intimacy therapy.
I can commit to that.
We can get through that.
But at what point do I
keep neglecting myself?
I'd love to ask the same question
'cause I waited three years for you
- I get that you did that
- Stop cutting me off.
I've waited three years for
you to get to "hell yes."
Now you're expecting me to be
like, "Mal's been showing up
for the last two weeks.
Now she's my 'hell yeah.'"
- Like, that's really fucking shitty.
- Is it shitty?
It is. You haven't showed
up like that in 3 years.
Took you 3 weeks to make
somebody else a "hell yeah."
- They showed up right off the bat.
- Is Xander your "hell yes"?
Is Xander your "hell yes"?
I can't say that, but I'll
say it doesn't seem as cloudy.
As much as you deserve your "hell yes,"
I also deserve my "hell yes."
And if I'm like your "kinda"
or "maybe it could be, and I love
her so much, but possibly "
If I'm not that, then let me go.
What if I don't wanna let you go?
I cannot imagine how hard this
is to be in your position, at all.
But I'm asking you to
not just, like, give up.
I'm not trying to give up.
I'm here.
Do you want a hug?
What are you talking about, Yoly?
Do you want niggas to die for you?
You want to see both of us fight for you
and bleed so you can see, like,
"Who died for me? I'm
gonna pick that person."
- Is that what you want?
- No.
What do you want from me?
I am dying for you,
fam. What do you want?
- It's okay.
Fucking give me a break.
[YOLY] It's okay.
She's going outside.
It's okay.
[MAL] I'm shutting
down. It is done for me.
It is done. I'm done.
I'm done with all of this.
I am done with this entire thing.
I'm done.
I have nothing else to say.
- You like these pants, huh?
- Yeah.
To be honest, I'm just so
relieved that that night is over.
My biggest bummer of the
night, through everything,
was realizing that Rae really
wasn't gonna talk to me.
If that's how she's gonna be
controlled by a 24-year-old,
they don't need to be together,
because, like, she chose you.
That should be meaningful enough
for her to stand her ground
and be like, "I'm
gonna talk to the person
I had a trial marriage with."
You talked to Yoly a lot.
I'm like, "I see she's with
Yoly, and I will not look over,
and I'll distance myself so I
cannot hear any word being said."
I'm like [EXHALES]
You did fantastic.
[SIGHS] Thank you.
Holy shit.
I was so proud every time I
looked over at you tonight.
I feel we're at a point where
I don't need to be forcing a
distance between you and Yoly.
It just didn't feel necessary.
Everyone's team Yoly. They're
like, "You need to choose Yoly now."
"If you're gonna, choose her."
I'm like, "You don't
need to gang up on me.
I'm not ready to choose now."
This is why today is not decision day.
- That's not what I came here for.
- What a thing to say.
When you came in here
wanting to marry someone else.
Also, so fucking disrespectful to me.
- We're going through some shit.
- Yeah.
Fucking sucks.
You hurt me a lot.
But I love you.
I love you, and I want to be with you.
I want to end up with
you. I would love that.
That would be my ideal end to
not this experience but, like, life.
I will always love you.
Said that since day one, and
that's what I need to remember.
You're amazing
It really is really nice to hear.
[XANDER] I love you.
Tell me that it's worth the wait ♪
'Cause now I'm dreaming wide awake ♪
I'm excited to make the most
of our next few days together.
Me too.
Better than we've ever been ♪
This is here, it's happening ♪
This is our time ♪
Better than we've ever been ♪
This is here, it's happening ♪
This is our time ♪
I'm breaking all the rules ♪
I'm playing it so cool ♪
I'm playing it so cool, baby ♪
I'm breaking all the rules ♪
I'm playing it so cool ♪
I'm playing it so cool, baby ♪
'Cause I'm never gonna ever stop ♪
I'm always gonna shake it up ♪
I'm always gonna shake it up ♪
'Cause I've almost reached the top ♪
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