The Weekenders (2000) s01e16 Episode Script

1
Hahaa, did you see that?
Oh, it's Tino here.
So, we're on our way
home from school,
when Carver got drafted
into this soccer game,
and he is kicking tail.
What's that?
Why didn't they ask me to play?
Well, it could be some vast
conspiracy with terrible implications
not only for me,
but for the entire world.
Or maybe it's 'cause I stink at sports.
Except horseshoes!
Okay, whoever scores the next goal wins.
Why?
Because my anger management class starts
in 10 minutes.
Now, clam up or I'll wham you one!
Carver's got 'im!
Carver just obliterated that guy.
Whoa, man, that was brutal.
Yeah hahaha!
We won!
More like you won.
You were hardcore out there, man.
I never saw anybody take on Laird like
that.
From now on, he's going to think twice
about messing with you.
And Laird doesn't think twice about
anything.
Or even once, usually.
I can't take all the credit.
You guys offered the moral support needed
by a champion like myself.
Uh so, Carver, don't you think
you were a little, uh, rough on Laird?
Hey, I played to win.
Yeah, but you didn't have to knock him
down like that.
What are you talking about?
We saw you, Carver.
You slammed him like a freight train.
What?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Here's what happened.
Right when I caught up to Laird, he
went to kick the ball and he just missed.
He slammed himself.
Maybe from where you
guys were, it looked like
I took Laird out, but I
never even touched him.
Well, that's a relief.
Yeah, I didn't think you'd play that
dirty.
Good game, Carver.
But, you know, I coulda
taken him out if I wanted to.
'Cause I've got the Fists of Iron!
Oh, that reminds me.
I don't know you.
Ohh noo.
I told you guys we shoulda
gotten here earlier!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Always a line when the Snack Shack
introduces a new item.
I just didn't think deep fried grapes
would be this popular.
Never underestimate the power of deep fry.
Hey, uhh, you can go ahead of me.
What?
This is the guy.
Was it somethin' I said?
Good one, Carver!
Ha, hahaha
What are you talking about?
Nothing.
I didn't say anything.
Sorry, Carver.
Four orders of deep fried grapes,
and four mango Chug-a-Freezes, please.
Are we in some kind of alternate universe?
Maybe.
See any dinosaurs around?
Intense game yesterday, Carver!
Thanks.
That's what's goin' on.
This is all 'cause I shredded soccer.
Maybe.
Heeyyy, Brie and Colby are in our spot!
Man, that's what we always sit.
Carver.
Uh.
Oh, you can sit here.
We're done.
Yeah.
But Since when do
they know my name?
And why did they do that?
Ugh, man, if we start trying to figure out
why the cool kids do what they do,
we'll go crazy.
Hang on.
Maybe,
sports hero kids like myself, are even
cooler than the regular cool kids.
I think the alternate universe scenario is
more plausible.
Then, after I win my fourth soccer
championship, I'll retire.
Or maybe I'll segue into an acting career.
Zip your lip and take your shot.
Lor, Lor, Lor, Lor, Lor, Lor.
Some people are destined for
greatness and others aren't.
Don't be bitter.
Just chalk my cue, okay?
I'll chalk your head!
Whatever that means.
Carver, you won one game.
It's not like you found the cure for
homework or something.
Face it, guys.
I'm a hero.
People look up to me.
It's only natural I should get a little
special treatment.
You! Boy!
Fetch me a Chug-a-Freeze.
See?
I'm sorry it took so long.
Please, don't cream me
like you did Laird.
I have allergies.
But I didn't.
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.. !
I'm alive!
I'm alive!
Now it makes sense.
They don't think you're a hero,
Carver.
They think you're a menace.
Oh, yeah, very funny.
Come on.
I don't want people being scared of me.
I gotta straighten this thing out before
it goes any further.
- You should.
- Good idea.
Absolutely.
We
we heard you like
Chug-a-Freezes.
We bring these as peace offerings.
Please don't hurt us.
On the other hand,
you gotta look at the perks.
Maybe being a tough guy isn't such a bad
thing.
Maybe.
But you wouldn't know,
because you're not a tough guy!
Shh.
You know it and I know it, but everyone
else doesn't have to know it.
Come on, man.
Just think of all the
free Chug-a-Freezes!
But everyone'll be runnin' away
from you all the time, 'n junk.
Yeah, what kind of fun is that?
Don't you think you're being a little,
you know, stupid?
Nah.
I mean, what could go wrong?
Well!
Hello, Josh~
So, you slam Laird, and now
you think you can take anybody.
Huh, Descartes, huh?!
Ah!
What?
There's only room for one tough guy in
this neighborhood.
So let's just find out how tough you are.
Name the time and place.
Buenos Aires, March 5th, 2065.
I got a hair appointment.
How about the alley?
Outside here, tomorrow, four o'clock.
Tomorrow's bad for me.
Show up, or I'll come find you.
He'll find you!
Not a bad disguise, but I think Josh will
still recognize you.
I'm not wearing a disguise.
I just didn't get any sleep.
So.
That's your actual face, then.
Ooh.
Okay, well, what do you
wanna do today?
Wanna shoot some pool,
play video games?
Hide from Josh?
That sounds fun, too.
We could go to the beach.
Too open.
Oh, yeah.
The mall?
Too crowded.
Okay, how about Funville?
Lor,
I'm trying to hide from Josh, remember?
Josh?
The guy who wants to beat
me up outside Funville?
So you're saying Funville would be bad.. ?
Well, we can't just stay inside all day.
I know.
Let's go to the Anthropology Museum.
Perfect!
Josh would never go there.
And we can enjoy another delicious
Foods of the World exhibit!
Hakarl is an Icelandic
delicacy, consisting of shark
meat, which has been allowed
to putrefy for several months.
You guys first.
I gave up rotten fish for Lent.
There you are.
I was checking out the gift shop.
Hey, this stuff's good.
Some kind of jerky?
Yeah, close enough.
Psst.
Here.
Eat it.
I really --
Eat it!
I'm surprised,
Josh really doesn't seem
like the museum-type.
This is ridiculous.
We can't go anywhere.
Do you want to spend the rest of your life
hiding behind trash cans?
Yes, yes I do.
Carver, you have to call Josh's bluff.
You can't avoid him forever.
I don't have to avoid him forever.
Just until one of us dies of old age.
Listen, Josh is after you because he
thinks you're a tough guy, right?
So be one.
If you just act tougher than Josh,
he'll back down.
Studies show that bullies are fearful by
nature.
Really?
Hey, Tish always knows what she's talking
about.
Yeah, I guess.
Come on.
Euhhh, no wait.
It's sheep.
Sheep are fearful by nature.
Huh.
I knew it.
He's not gonna show.
Uh-oh!
You better walk away, Josh.
Walk away while you can still walk.
Away.
Man, this guy is serious.
I got to get out of here.
He does look pretty mean.
But if you back down now, they'll call you
a wimp forever.
Alright.
Let's do it.
Fists of Iron.
Oh, no.
Don't do the karate thing.
Okay.
Break for refreshments?
What hit me.. ?
Carver,
did you.. ?
Me?
Oh.
Me?
Sure.
I
Naw..
He just ran into a tree branch.
I'm not a tough guy.
And I don't wanna be one.
Not such a big man after all, huh?
I guess I proved my point.
Come on, Melty.
We're outta here.
Can we get some more of that rotten shark?
On the other hand, I do
play soccer pretty well.
Uh, guys?
You could have pulled the
tough guy thing off easy, Carver.
Even Josh thought you'd decked him.
Yep.
We could have been up to
our necks in free Chug-a-Freezes~
But good move comin' clean
back there, Carv'!
Kudos to ya.
Oh, man, it was easy.
I took one look at Josh lying there,
and I thought, this guy gets all the free
Chug-a-Freezes he wants,
and he's still a loser.
Now, why would I want to have everybody
afraid of me?
Mm-mn.
There's way too much downside to the tough
guy act.
From now on, I just want to be a humble,
quiet, background kind of guy.
Well, you know.
At least until I win my first soccer
championship.
We're lucky Carver quit when he did.
I mean, what if nobody
ever called his bluff
and he just got more powerful
until he ruled the whole world,
and then some other planet got
scared and took preemptive action?
We could have unwittingly
triggered a course of
events that would have
destroyed the universe.
We can only hope that no one else out
there is hit on this tough guy scam.
We can only hope.
Later.
Days.