This Fool (2022) s02e05 Episode Script

Cut the Sh*t

We have a
difficult task at hand, gentlemen.
We're building a business
from the ground up
in hopes that down the line we
can turn it into a major franchise.
Now the decisions we
make in the next few weeks
may very well determine
the rest of our lives.
Luckily, we have got a man with a plan.
So, Julio,
what's that plan?
Uh, the plan?
- The plan.
- Yeah, the plan.
I mean, you're the
reason we're all here.
What's your plan for the café?
So my plan is
to have a café that employs ex-felons,
and the coffee's gonna be good.
Wait not good, great.
Uh, duh, we know that part.
What's the vibe gonna be like?
Come on, what's the logo?
What's the color of the
walls, the mission statement,
the-the whole concept,
you know, the vision?
This motherfucker ain't got no vision.
- Fuckin' Ray Charles over here.
- Hey, hey, hey, dawg, chill.
He's got a fuckin' vision.
Right, Julio?
Of course, I have a fuckin' vision.
It's all up here.
I just gotta get what's
in my head on the page,
you know, iron out a few details.
Okay, vision boy, then what are
you envisioning for the menu?
So part of my vision is that
we're all equal partners,
so you get to decide what's on the menu.
Obviously, I get final approval,
but I want you to express yourself.
Great. Percy, you work on the menu.
I'll start dealing with zoning
and permits with the city.
And I'll start cleaning this place up.
Unless part of your vision is
that there's trash everywhere.
No, that's not part of my vision,
but thank you for checking first.
Alright, let's do this shit.
- Visionary.
- Get one!
Hey, ready to call it a night, dawg?
I'm fuckin' beat.
Shit yeah, me, too.
I'm sore as fuck,
but the good kinda sore,
you know what I mean?
I'm my own boss now.
Fuck breaking my back for other people.
- You know what I'm sayin'?
- Mm-hmm.
I'm so proud of you, baby.
Aw, thanks, baby.
So, what, you got a logo
and stuff yet for this place?
Uh, well, that's Julio's job.
He's the visionary.
Visionary? The fuck's a visionary?
Well, so basically, he,
like, sits around and thinks, a lot.
It's like a pretty high
intense job, to be honest.
I feel for that fool.
So if he's the visionary, what are you?
- The janitor?
- Hey, I'm not the janitor, alright?
I just do my part to clean up.
You know, I take out the
trash, unclog the toilets.
You know, boss shit.
Sounds like you're
the fucking janitor to me.
Hold up. Why does Julio get to
be the visionary and not you, hmm?
Hey, Julio!
Take off your fuckin' headphones.
Hey, can you not interrupt
me? I'm trying to visualize.
Yeah, well, Ruby wants to
know and I wanna know too,
why you're the visionary and not me.
Luis, come on, you're
clearly not a visionary.
How the fuck do you know?
It takes one to know one, and I am one.
So if you were one, I would know.
And I do know that you're not one.
Why don't you give Luis a chance?
I'm sure he has some pretty
visionary ideas too, hmm?
It makes sense you would say that, Ruby,
because you are also not a visionary.
I mean, you didn't envision
the supermarket you work at.
No, you just work there.
You know who did envision
it? A visionary, like me.
You live in a fucking garage, Julio.
You know who else lived
in a garage? Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs didn't live in a garage.
He started his business
in a garage, dumbass.
Well, if Steve worked
half as hard as I do,
he probably slept in that garage.
You know what? Fuck that, perro.
You said we were equals, alright?
I wanna be co-visionary.
And I co-vision that
you're now co-janitor.
We're gonna co-split
everything down the middle.
Listen, playboy, being a visionary,
it's not all fun and games, okay?
Why do you think I get migraines?
'Cause my brain's so big it's
trying to bust out my skull.
You don't want this life.
And I envision that after a day,
you'll be begging to be janitor again.
And you know what?
A mop looks good on you, playboy.
You know what? Kick
fuckin' rocks, alright.
I marked it off in the calendar anyway.
Me and Ruby get the garage for tonight.
And I envision it's gonna
be at least a couple hours.
- Baby, it'll be six minutes at most.
- Yeah, it will.
It's fuckin' impossible
to get any work done here.
Now I know why Steve
was angry all the time.
Close the door.
The fuck?
Fuckin' dog shit on our doorstep?
Hey, fool, you gonna
pick that up or what?
Hey, mop boy, we're equals.
Alright? So I'ma do my part.
Let's see here.
It's about it's about four inches.
So divide that by two, carry the zero.
That's about two inches each.
There we go.
Rest is all you, playboy.
You know what?
I'm envisioning painting the walls blue.
Hugs Not Thugs had blue.
We should have blue, too.
Just 'cause we used blue before
doesn't mean we should use blue again.
Visionaries, they
don't look to the past.
They look to the future.
There's a reason our eyes are in
front of our heads, not in the back.
Also, you just can't say blue.
There are a thousand
shades of blue. Which blue?
I don't know. Regular blue.
Regular blue isn't a color, dumbass.
Maybe you should do some research
before you make another
uninformed suggestion.
Let's see this shit.
Where's the blues at?
Oh, says right here. Check it out.
The color blue is known to
symbolize peace and tranquility.
Sounds like a good color to me.
Let me see that.
Homeys are gonna be lining
up to come in here and chill.
Get all tranquil and shit.
Maybe even take a nap.
And then, boom, they wake up
and need another cup of coffee.
Now we're making double the money.
It says here that red
makes people hungry.
So we should go with a shade of red.
Oh, yeah, but check it out.
It also says red instills anger.
Then I guess you're red, because
you're fuckin' pissing me off.
Well, you know what then?
I'll paint my half of
the café regular blue,
and you paint your half
whatever ugly-ass color you want.
Hey, dumbass, the walls
need to be the same color.
You better pick blue then, perro.
I need a fuckin' break.
It's impossible to work
in this environment.
Aw, shit, look at you.
You went from Huggers to CEOs.
- That's what I'm talking about.
- You're like real deal bosses now.
Julio, is that you?
Are you going through a divorce?
It's pretty cool Luis and
Percy gave you a job, man.
Well actually, Jorge, this
whole place was my idea.
I'm the visionary.
What are you guys even doing here?
These guys are doing us a big
solid and helping with construction,
so we gotta mark this place up,
so they could start building tomorrow.
Now, Julio, what's the layout?
What layout?
What are you talking about, man?
You're the visionary. You
gotta be on top of this shit.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, that's why I'm just fuckin' around.
Of course, I have the layout.
It's all in my head.
So, layout-wise
I'm envisioning
the kitchen.
This motherfucker don't know the layout.
I don't know the layout?
Then how do I know this?
The kitchen goes over there. Bam.
You got it.
And I'm envisioning the
front counter right
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, hold up, dawg.
The gas hookup's all the way
on the other side of the room.
I saw it earlier when I was cleaning.
So the kitchen obviously
has to go over there.
And I'm envisioning
the front counter
right over here.
That's smart, Luis. Good job, buddy.
I envisioned that too, so, you know,
I deserve co-credit for that.
Okay, yeah, good job to you too, Julio.
Alright, alright, let's get to work.
Yeah, get to work,
everyone. Get to work.
Are you doing alright, buddy?
Yeah, I'm alright. I'm alright.
Oh, good, because things are
starting to move really fast,
and every day we're
not open, we lose money.
So as soon as those walls
go up, we gotta paint 'em,
which means you need to pick a color.
I-I got you.
- I'll pick a color before I leave tonight.
- Alright.
And, hey, listen, I know
this shit is daunting,
but you got this.
This is a chance to express yourself.
Yeah, express myself.
Thank you.
Express myself.
Fuckin' Luis.
You guys nailed it.
Julio, my man, check out this
logo Luis and Ruby came up with.
Yeah, it just came to me earlier.
I mean, Ruby came up
with it, but I drew it.
Shit looks pretty tight, huh?
Brilliant, right? This is the one.
Unless, you know, you
visionaried a better idea, Julio.
Guess that's fine.
Your vision's really coming together.
Also, I was envisioning with my ears,
like, what kinda music we
should play in the café.
I was thinking maybe in the
morning we start with some slow jams
you know, to get going.
And then after lunch, you know,
people need that second push,
we hit 'em with that
freestyle. Keep fools awake.
- That's smart, baby.
- Thanks, baby.
Oh, and by the way, Julio,
I Googled if your migraines
had anything to do
with how smart you are,
and my research concluded that you're
just a dumbass who gets headaches.
You know what? I'm gonna need
some alone time in the garage.
Why, you gotta jack off, huh?
No, I'm gonna work on my vision.
You didn't mark it on the calendar.
Yeah, I didn't fuckin'
mark it on the calendar,
but I never get any alone time in here
because you guys are so fucking greedy.
Alright then, fine.
But for future reference,
you don't gotta lie.
You gotta jack off, you
say you gotta jack off.
Julio, there's no shame in it.
It significantly reduces
the rate of prostate cancer.
I'm not gonna jack off.
I'm gonna work on my vision.
All he's gonna
envision is some nasty-ass porn.
Close the door.
- Carlos!
- What up?
Sorry, Julio.
My bad.
As I was coming up
with the menu, you know what I realized?
I'm fuckin' done with cupcakes.
Now it's time for us to take
on the motherfuckin' muffin.
It's a new era of muffins.
Yo, Julio, taste that muffin, boy.
I'm not really a muffin guy.
Look what I found.
A dozen of these babies
out on the street.
Come help me grab the rest.
Hold on, you're gonna use
these chairs for the café?
Why not? They're free.
Oh, did you finish writing
up that mission statement?
I'm thinking we could put it on the
wall over here next to the mural.
Wait, what mural?
What mural?
The fuckin' mural, Julio.
Get out your motherfuckin' paintbrushes.
We about to paint this bitch, homeys.
Everybody stop what you're doing!
This is all wrong. None
of this fits my vision.
This is a free-for-all of
shit ideas, and I hate it.
I don't know when this all got decided,
but we need to slow down.
Julio, we've been working
on all of this for weeks.
Now, at a certain point, if you
can't figure out your vision,
- well, we're gonna have
- Just give me one more night.
I'll figure everything out,
if you just leave me alone
for one more night!
Just fuckin' start typing the
mission statement, you piece of shit.
Fuckin' do it. What the fuck
would that fool Steve do?
He'd write the fuckin' mission statement
so he'd have more
time to yell at people.
Write the fuckin' vision.
Go, bitch.
Alright, come on, let's go.
At Mugs Not Thugs,
we're all about organic,
ethically sourced,
environmentally correct,
sustainable, affordable,
healthy food from the heart.
From the heart?
Ugh, fuckin' corny bullshit.
Mugs Not Thugs is all
about second chances.
You can taste the
forgiveness in every
Mugs Not Thugs is about not
judging a book by its cover.
Even though covers typically give you
a pretty good idea of
what the book is about.
And how else are you
supposed to judge a book
if you don't have time to read it?
Mugs Not Thugs was
started by four friends.
No, four homeys.
No, Mugs Not Thugs was started
when a man put a gun to my head.
Mugs Not Thugs was started by a gun.
I should've just let him
pull the fuckin' trigger.
Mugs Not Thugs was
founded by Julio Lopez,
who never wanted to start a coffee shop,
but kept telling people he did
because I'm a fucking coward
and a loser and a fraud.
No one respects me because I
have nothing to offer the world,
just some fuckin' dude who likes coffee.
I don't like coffee.
I love coffee.
I'm Julio Lopez, and I love coffee.
Mugs Not Thugs is proud to serve
the highest-quality
coffee in South Central.
It was founded by Julio Lopez,
an entrepreneur who always had a dream.
He dreamed to start a café.
But it's no longer a dream,
because now it's a dream come true.
The American dream.
Raised in the hood by a single mother,
Julio Lopez beat the odds
and now provides opportunities
for those that society has left behind.
He's a visionary, the
Steve Jobs of coffee.
The only difference is Steve never slept
in his garage, but Julio lives there.
Also, Steve Jobs is dead,
so people need a new hero to look up to,
one without a turtleneck this time.
And that's Julio Lopez,
a man who came to America
with nothing but a
coffee bean in his pocket
and a twinkle in his eye.
Well, technically I was born here.
But my parents are from Mexico,
so it's still inspiration.
Hi, I'm Julio Coffee Lopez.
No, I'm Julio Coffee, and
that's Mr. Coffee to you.
I'm Mr. Coffee, and I'm gonna
change the world of coffee.
We've lost sight of what's
most important, the coffee.
I've noticed that many
of you don't drink coffee
and some of you have been
bringing Starbucks into my café.
You think people are gonna
come here and buy our coffee
because it's made by ex-felons
that turned their lives around?
Fuck no!
People will come here because of me.
It was my idea to bring in high-end
gourmet coffee to South Central.
I am the visionary.
Hey, dawg, we're
co-visionaries, alright?
I will not let you turn my
café into a fucking compromise.
Steve didn't compromise and
from now on neither will I.
The walls will be Rosso Corsa red.
And we're not using any of
your shitty street furniture.
And we're not making
muffins. We're making scones.
I fuckin' hate scones.
Well, you're gonna love 'em, bitch.
Jorge, come with me.
I have a vision for the mural.
If we don't kick
this motherfucker off the team,
I am going to without
a doubt murder him.
So it's best if we do this shit now.
I hear you, Percy,
but this whole thing was Julio's idea.
None of us would be here
if it wasn't for him.
Yeah, but we don't need
him anymore, alright? We've got me.
I'm the real Steven Jobs.
Look, I know
he's acting like a fuckin' idiot,
but, I mean, the poor guy
lives in a fuckin' garage.
And so do we, but.
He needs this, so let's
just let him paint the walls
whatever color he wants.
It's not what I
envisioned for the mural,
but I guess it works.
Congrats on the achievement
of your vision, dawg.
Thanks, playboy.
I'm really proud of the work I did.
You know what? Thanks for
giving me the opportunity, Chief.
You're welcome, Jorge.
Now get the fuck outta here.
Hey, Julio. We're all gonna head
out and get something to eat.
Be right there.
I'm not a visionary.
I just want the coffee
to be fucking good.
The walls can be blue.
The red is a little intense.
And I'm sorry about the wall.
Actually, I think what you did is smart.
- Huh?
- If we leave this part open,
customers can see into the kitchen.
Yeah, it's good you
fucked up the wall, Julio.
Yo, Julio, we're fuckin' making muffins.
Muffins sound great.
And, uh, maybe get me one
of them gift certificates
to Massage Envy or something.
You owe me a present.
Man, let's go eat, yo.
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