Totally Spies! (2001) s01e04 Episode Script

Stuck in the Middle Ages with You

[music playing]
THEME SONG: Here we go.
We're getting on the road till
we stop, and then we'll shop.
So 1, 2, 3, now baby,
here we go, go, go.
Here we go!
Here we go!
On a mission undercover
and we're in control.
Here we go!
Here we go!
We're "Totally Spies"
so get on with the show.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
[music playing]
[wind blowing]
[horse whinnying]
[music playing]
[school bell]
- So what do you think?
- Ooh!
That would be a great
shade of eyeshadow.
Clover, we're not cruising the
cosmetic counter at the mall.
This is a science lab,
and I want to get an A.
Well, here's something
that's sure to rate
an A plus on the social scale.
Cool, a Halloween party!
With a costume contest!
And a first place cash
prize worth three totally cool
outfits from the mall!
I hate to squash
your hopes, girls,
but I'll be winning
that contest hands down.
Not with that
costume you won't.
Excuse me?
What costume?
Aren't you dressed as a
wannabe teen queen today?
Or were they having a sale on
so two years ago at the mall?
[game show music]
Alex, quick!
ALEX: What the--
JERRY: Hello.
That must have
been a real blast.
Now let's get started.
A renowned scientist was
abducted from a US military lab
late last night.
Where did that weirdo
in the hood come from?
JERRY: That has yet
to be determined.
The scientist's kidnapping
is the third in a string
of strange abductions.
Who else was kidnapped?
A military general and
a surveillance expert, all
from the same facility.
Jer, the girls and I
are in a bit of a rush
to get to the mall and skim
some great Halloween costumes.
Can we skip the details
and get right to the part
about the mission thingy?
Very well.
Figure out how and why
this hooded horseman
is abducting these military
experts, then stop him.
So much for the
costume contest.
Yeah, Clover.
Looks like we'll have
to put our dreams
of beating Mandy on pause.
I can multitask.
JERRY: Inside you'll
find your gadgets.
Pogo bounce sandals, laser
heat curling irons, all weather
umbrellas, Head for
Cover hover boards,
a mighty fine expandable
mascara brush,
and last but not least, cat
fight gloves with retractable
Oh, now there's a
gadget made for Mandy.
Don't forget to say Geronimo.
[missile blasting]
[music playing]
For the past
year, our team has
been perfecting a
high tech cutting edge
laser beam for the military.
It's an electronic
nullification device,
otherwise known as the END.
I mean, how interesting.
We've examined the
surveillance tape.
It appears whoever took your
colleague took the END as well.
Well, if it's the
END they were after,
then they're going to
be mighty disappointed.
The END can only be
controlled by this detonator.
Without it, the END is useless.
[wind blowing]
[horse whinnying]
SAM: Look out!
Not so fast, horse boy!
[music playing]
SPIES: Whoa!
What happened?
Where are we?
I don't think we're in
Beverly Hills anymore.
Oh no.
You I don't think
we're in the Valley?
[horse galloping]
SPIES: [gasping]
You guys, he's getting away!
Here, collateral.
Bad horsie!
I'm being plundered
by evil witches!
[townspeople shouting]
We're not witches!
We're from Beverly Hills!
Tis our duty to
our beloved king
to rid the empire
of evil witches!
We are not familiar with
these hills of which you speak!
Burn them at the stake!
[horse whinnying]
Be right back!
[music playing]
Who are these people?
Apparently Halloween
came early this year.
That didn't go
exactly as planned.
At least we lost those goons.
Now let's use our pogo bounce
sandals to get out of here
and find Clover.
[bouncing sounds]
[music playing]
- Whoa!
Jerry, where are we?
Hold on.
I'm doing a global
positioning search
to pinpoint your location.
Oh, this doesn't look right.
My data says you're in
medieval England circa 1136 AD.
Wait a second.
A hooded horseman,
talk of witches,
and a group of people who have
never heard of Beverly Hills?
Of course!
We're stuck in the Middle Ages.
Oh my.
Jerry, how are we
going to get back?
We don't even know
how we got here!
I'm working on it, Clover.
Please hurry, Jerry.
We want out of this Dungeons
and Dragons nightmare ASAP.
Clover, are you there?
I-- I can't hear you.
Jerry, wait!
Come back!
I'm supposed to be at a
Halloween party tonight,
and there's a big difference
between fashionably
late and MIA!
Giddy up.
[music playing]
Uh oh.
Where's a girl's
knight in shining
armor when she needs one?
[horse whinnying]
[music playing]
Oozing and clumping,
mighty fine my butt!
[music playing]
A little mascara
can go a long way.
[bouncing sounds]
[music playing]
Don't those
freaks ever give up?
[music playing]
[fighting sounds]
[music playing]
Those two are the thieves!
Stop them!
You've got the wrong people!
It's not us!
[music playing]
Where are you taking us?
Let us go!
Did you really expect
to get away with stealing
from our beloved king?
I've never stolen
anything except maybe
second base in coed baseball!
We'll teach you
that thievery will not
be tolerated in this kingdom.
Why do I get the feeling this
is only going to get worse?
[rocks falling]
SAM: Quick, our
laser heat curling
irons can melt the chains.
[laser buzzing]
VILLAGER: There they are!
[interposing voices]
I hope Clover is having
more luck than we are.
[music playing]
CLOVER: Must be one of
those high tech dungeons.
What the--
[horse whinnying]
So that's how he gets
back through time.
Put him in the
cell with the others.
[music playing]
Let me go!
I've never seen
anyone quite like you.
Well, you probably don't
hang out on Rodeo Drive much.
You're right.
I'm more of a
Malibu kind of guy.
I take it you're not
from around these parts.
A fashion sense
and intelligent.
When I become king,
you'll make a great queen.
You see, I come from a
royal lineage of kings,
and thanks to a goody goody
king from the Middle Ages,
my family lost their
throne and their wealth.
Look, I'm sorry
to hear that, but--
I don't need your pity,
because with a couple
of crystals and some
groundbreaking weapons,
I've come back from the future
to knock him off his throne
and change the
course of history.
And you will be my queen.
OK, now you're starting to
get all kinds of creepy.
What are you doing?
I'm going to use the END
to destroy the king's castle,
reclaim my destiny, and then--
[laughs] --take over the world.
I've heard of acid
rain, but not fire rain.
I hope when Jerry said
all weather umbrellas,
he meant all weather.
[music playing]
[stones crumbling]
For a guy that snagged
a zillion weapons
from the future, you
never considered adding
an SUV to your collection?
ALEX: Sam, we've got to do
something to save Clover.
The horseman's put some
sort of high tech force field
around them.
[music playing]
Is someone there?
Curb it.
Hand over the crown, or I'll
destroy the rest of the castle,
the entire village, and you!
You're no match for me!
Now surrender.
A king isn't made by
sophisticated weaponry
and intimidation.
A king is made by the
people who follow him,
and no one will follow you.
Yeah, whatever, pal.
Just hand over the
crown, or I'll toast you.
Um, if you're done with
me, I'll be leaving now.
Take him to the dungeon and
move my equipment and the others
to our new home.
Not so fast, Queenie.
I have a more fitting
prison for you.
[music playing]
We might not have a
glowing protection shield,
but these should do.
That dress looks
lovely on you.
It looks like something
from the bargain bin.
And it smells like it too.
You're going to need to
lose the attitude, babe.
My queen is all about obedience.
You're never going to get
away with ruling this kingdom!
The kingdom?
With these weapons, I'm going
to rule the entire world.
And when I get back to the
future, I'll be worth billions.
[music playing]
These tin can dresses
are harder to walk
in than my six inch platforms.
Close call.
SAM: Yeah.
Looks like a surveillance room.
Just go away.
Leave me alone.
Clover, it's us!
Oh, you have no idea what
I've been going through!
This guy wants me to
learn to play the harp,
embroider silk tapestries,
and eat peacock.
How gross is that?
I'm guessing he's
got an even more
despicable plan up his sleeve.
Believe me, he does.
He wants to make me his queen.
And he's using crystals to
time travel back to the past
and change it so he can
go back to the present
and take over the world.
So what do we do to stop him?
CLOVER: Apparently his
crystals control everything.
If we can get to them and
destroy his equipment,
he's toasted.
Let's see what Jerry thinks.
The number's no
longer in service.
Jerry's gone!
And WOOHP's gone too.
If WHOOP's gone, that means
when the horseman changed
the past, it triggered
a chain reaction
and changed the future!
Oh, no.
That means Beverly Hills
doesn't exist anymore either.
We've got to change it back.
Otherwise I've got no
chance of beating Mandy
in that Halloween contest!
You really can multitask.
SAM: Let's go.
We've no time to lose.
This should do the trick.
They make this look
a lot easier on TV.
Got it!
Make sure you get the END.
Where is it?
There it is!
SPIES: Geronimo!
This kingdom is mine!
[fire blasting]
[music playing]
CLOVER: Not if we have
anything to say about it!
SPIES: Whoa!
[fire blasts]
We've got to destroy
the END before it
destroys everything else!
He's coming this way.
OK, girls.
Time to hover.
[music playing]
[music playing]
[rocks tumbling]
[horse whinnying]
Come on.
We've got one more
thing to do if we
want to get back to the future.
[laser whirring]
Behind you!
Take that!
BOTH: And for you--
Let me go!
CLOVER: No chance of that
happening in this century,
or any other for that matter.
The crown is back
where it belongs.
MAN: The witches have
taken over the kingdom!
Get her!
Get her!
These girls are not witches!
The crystals, Clover.
Use the crystals!
[music playing]
Jerry, you're here!
Everything's back to normal.
And the case is solved.
Well done, spies.
I wonder if I'll ever get
to see that cute king again.
BOY: And second place goes to
Arnold as the periodic table
of elements!
Get ready.
We're next!
And first place goes to Mandy,
as a Beverly Hills style witch!
I can't believe it.
There's so many people
I'd like to thank.
First, myself, for always
being there for me.
Second, um, myself,
for thinking this up.
I demand a recount!
You two are the judges?
No one likes a
sore loser, Clover.
And face it!
Your costumes just
aren't authentic enough.
Forget it, Clover.
These two Mandy clones know
nothing about authenticity.
Could this day get any worse?
Actually, I think it just
got a whole lot better.
Hey, want to dance?
I'd love to!
[romantic music]
You'd think she'd
be over kings by now.
Who knows, Sammy?
They say third time's a charm.
[romantic music]
[theme music]
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