Totally Spies! (2001) s01e08 Episode Script


[theme music playing]
(SINGING) Here we go again,
on the road till we stop
and then we'll shop.
So one, two, three
now baby here we go.
Here we go, here we go
on a mission undercover
and we're in control.
Here we go, here we
go we're totally spies
and get on with the show.
Here we go, here
we go, here we go.
I'm going to get this role.
I'm going to get this role.
I'm going to get this role.
I'm going to get this role.
You really
shouldn't put so much
pressure on yourself, Clover.
I'm not putting pressure on
myself, I'm psyching myself up.
And I'm just looking
up for my best friend.
Yeah, practically everybody
in the school is auditioning.
Everybody who's anybody
plus a few nobodies.
What are you
trying to say, Sam?
I'm not good enough to play
the poor orphan Cosette?
Of course you are.
In fact, you're the most
dramatic person I know.
But you learning
all those lines?
Starring in a play is about
more than just memorizing lines,
I mean, I wouldn't expect
a bookworm like you
to understand art,
that's for true virtuosos
like Picasso, da Vinci,
Madonna, and, of course, me.
Next please.
Oh monsieur Valjean,
what ill fortune
to be poor with no family.
Uh, I even had to
sell my car just to be
able to get enough to eat.
Thank you.
That will be all, Clover.
Thank you.
Thank you one and all.
I'm so happy to be playing the
role that I so richly deserve.
I'll be signing autographs in
the lunch room this afternoon.
Clover, although that was
an interesting interpretation
of Les Mis, not exactly
what we're looking for.
Clover, aren't you getting
a little carried away?
It's just a silly play.
A silly play?
This is my career
we're talking about.
I mean, how could
he not pick me?
I have perfect hair, perfect
teeth, plus I just love Paris.
I'd like to see Mr. Tetley's
teaching credentials.
You know, Clover,
you should be
happy you didn't get this part.
I mean, rehearsing
over and over.
Oh, Monsieur Valjean,
what ill fortune
to be poor with no family.
Sounds like such a drag.
That's it.
That was brilliant, Samantha,
you were born to play Cosette
and I won't take
no for an answer.
Uh, thanks a lot
Mr. Tetley, but Clover
should really get this part.
You know, she's a
very talented actress
plus she has great teeth.
But Samantha, you've
got the makings of a star.
No really, Clover's
my girlfriend and--
Perhaps even a Hollywood star.
When do rehearsals start?
When do rehearsals start?
I can't believe you,
you little traitor.
It's not my fault
I'm star material.
Cut it out, you guys,
you're supposed to be friends.
Since you girls are in
such a talkative mood,
perhaps one of you
would like to tell
the class what you
think the most dramatic
scene in "Les Miserables" is.
Well I for one
think it's the scene
in which Jean Valjean escapes
through the Paris sewers.
Greetings, my
academic colleagues.
Oh you must be Parcival, the
[inaudible] ambassador's son.
Oh by the way,
sir, I always felt
it would be appropriate to
discuss "Les Miserables"
in the context of a major strain
in 19th century literature
emphasizing pauperisation.
An interesting theory,
Percival, you should do
just fine on tomorrow's quiz.
What quiz?
The quiz on the first
10 chapters of Les Mis.
That is, for those of you who
didn't get a role in the play.
So, do you girls want
to go to the mall tonight?
I would but now I have
a quiz to study for.
You know, ever since somebody
stole my part in the play.
How about you, Sam?
I have to go over my lines.
You know what they say, the
more practice, the more perfect.
I guess I'll go
it alone, then.
Nice timing, Jerry.
Yeah, we were right in the
middle of an important fight.
Sorry, girls, but it's
an international emergency.
You see, the annual
Nobel Prize winners
conference is going on today.
The world's top
scholars are there.
International emergency?
Sounds more like an
international snooze fest.
Yeah, where can
we not get tickets?
As you can see on this
hotel surveillance video,
several prize winners have
been mysteriously kidnapped.
They must be found.
Did I mention the
conference is in Paris?
And now for the gadgets.
This week we have steel cable
launcher go-go boots, jet pack
backpacks, infrared heat
detector glasses, exploding
lipstick, and last
but not least,
emergency propeller watches
in vibrant spring colors.
And one more thing ladies.
Tomorrow, you'll be having
a surprise quiz in biology.
Two quizzes in one day?
That's totally unfair.
Unfair for some of us.
Couldn't you at least tell
us what the quiz is on, Jer?
Sorry, but it would be
completely unethical for me
to disclose that
the test is covering
the chapter on cro-magnon man.
Oh, would you look at the
time, I've really got to run.
I hope this
thing's on autopilot.
Vacuumed up?
But why?
OK spies, keep your eyes
open for anything strange
and try to blend in.
Excuse me, miss,
aren't you the one
who wrote that article about
the expansion of the universe?
That's me.
Brains and beauty.
And yourself?
What have you written?
Well, my specialty
is prehistoric men,
in particular cro-magnon.
Can you believe it?
This guy could actually
help us on our biology quiz.
Friends and colleagues,
I just found out
that the specialist on the
expansion of the universe
has honored us
with her presence.
Would you be so kind as to share
your latest findings with us?
OK, um, actually the
universe is as easy as pie.
It's like one big shopping mall.
Yeah, that's it.
See, it starts out small but
the more business it does,
the more it expands.
So no need to worry.
By the way, did I tell you?
I just love Paris.
I don't see anything.
Me neither.
It's like she vanished
into thin air.
What a disaster.
He's the foremost authority on
19th century French literature.
OK, this is officially weird.
Weird would be an
understatement, Sammy.
Two people just got
vacuumed into the ceiling
like dust bunnies.
No not the abductions,
the people who got abducted.
You want to try that again
in English, Miss Cosette?
Think about it.
Jerry tells us we'll be quizzed
on cro-magnon man in biology
tomorrow and the cro-magnon
specialist gets kidnapped.
We're also supposed to have
a test on "Les Miserables"
and, guess what?
The expert on 19th
century French literature
just vanished.
First of all, we aren't being
tested on "Les Miserables."
Second of all, do you actually
expect us to believe that there
is a connection between
these kidnappings
and our quizzes in LA?
That's exactly
what I expect you
to believe, miss sore loser.
Easy does it, girls.
Look, we'll just ask Jerry
for the subject of all
our upcoming
quizzes and then see
if any of the prize
winners at the conference
are experts on those subjects.
No way.
Absolutely not.
I am not allowed to reveal
quiz subjects to you girls.
But this is different,
it's for our mission.
It could be a matter
of life and someone
being sucked into the ceiling.
Well, when you
put it that way.
Your next quiz is in math class.
The topic is Isaac Newton but
that's all I'm telling you.
Since when do we study
cookie designers in math class?
Newton isn't a cookie
designer, you dimwit.
Who you calling
a dimwit, traitor?
Hey, girls, look, there's an
expert on Isaac Newton right
here in the conference catalog.
He just went into
that restaurant.
Are you two still harping
on that role in the play?
You obviously have never
been stabbed in the back
by one of your best friends.
Ah ha, I knew it,
you admit that Sam's
one of your best friends.
Hey, look at this.
We've got to get down
there, our expert's
clearly the next in line.
You're in danger.
Quick, the jet pack backpacks.
Incredible, the kidnappers
vacuum their victims
up into these tubes.
Not if we have
anything to say about it.
Let our friend go right now.
And tell us why
you've kidnapped
the Nobel Prize winners.
Oh well, look at the time.
Got to fly.
I think you mean gotta run.
Hey, don't leave me here.
I thought we were friends.
What now, miss bookworm?
How should I know?
Well, you better think
of something fast, Cosette.
Wait, that's it, in "Les
Miserables" Jean Valjean
escapes through the sewers.
Look out.
Ew nast, I'd rather
fight those jerks
than go into this filthy pipe.
I mean, hello, my
complexion is too sensitive.
You'll pay for this, Sam, and
I mean I mean that literally.
It's going to cost a fortune
to have my go-go boots cleaned.
Forget about them.
We'll just interrogate
their girlfriend.
Good luck trying to pry
anything out of that one.
Oh, I can be very persuasive.
You're lucky Sam
thought of the sewers.
Otherwise, you would
have been French toast.
Wait a second, I'm
getting a weak signal
from Alex's com powder.
I'll patch it through.
What are you two waiting for?
An invitation?
I'm locking in
on her location.
Oh my, it appears she's being
held at 12118 Marmalade St.
But that's--
The house next door to mine.
That's right.
And according to
WOOHP records, that's
where the ambassador
from [inaudible] his son
have been living for
the past two weeks.
Isn't that the fat headed
kid from Mr. Tetley's class?
We'd better get back
to Beverly Hills.
Farewell [inaudible] Paris.
I'm going to ask
you one last time,
where's WOOHP headquarters?
I wouldn't tell you in
a million years, chump.
Just you wait and see what I do
to you when I get out of here.
OK, you want to play games?
I've got a game for you.
It's about time
you two got here.
I warned you not
to mess with me.
Not bad for a bookworm.
Now let's find the
Nobel Prize winners.
Yeah, we got all
three of them, boss.
Bring them in.
Hey, it's the big head
freak from our school.
Pi r squared times
logarithm of c y equals--
It's like they're
sucking the intelligence
from the prize winners and
putting it into his head.
No wonder he's
such a know it all.
Mr. Ambassador.
That's right, girls.
And also soon the
father of the most
intelligent child in the world.
My son will be a genius in no
time, a star pupil in school.
No one dare pick on him
that way they picked on me.
So let me get this straight.
You kidnapped those scholars
just to suck out their brains
and pump them into
your son's head?
And you think he
won't get picked on?
Hello, the guy's head is the
size of a hot air balloon.
We'll see who
gets the last laugh.
He's going to turn
us into hamsters.
Keen observation.
The hamster is really going to
benefit from your intelligence.
Hey Alex, do that again.
No way, it hurts.
But if you keep it up, you
just might break through.
[alarm ringing]
That was close.
Another job well done, girls.
Thanks, Jerry.
Wait a minute, couldn't
you have broken out
of your cylinders yourselves?
You both have propeller watches.
Yeah, I suppose.
Yeah, and risk getting
unsightly facial bruises?
I don't think so.
Girls, aren't you forgetting
something important?
That is one freak
show I want no part of.
Hey, what do you
know, it's working.
Nice job, Alex,
you saved the world.
Guess this means
from now on he'll
have to study for tests
just like the rest of us.
Oh wait, I forgot, some of
us are exempt from tests.
Lucky thing there was almost
no fluid left in the tube.
You all right, girls?
A little grossed out
but otherwise fine.
I can't--
I can't believe you
just did that for me.
You totally saved my life, Sam.
Not to mention my outfit.
Well, I wouldn't have
done it for just anybody.
Only for a best friend?
Oh Sammy, I'm
so sorry I called
you a thief and a traitor.
No No I'm the one
who should be sorry.
I never should have accepted
the role of Cosette.
Oh no, it's time for our
quiz on "Les Miserables."
Quick to Beverly High.
I forgot all about it.
Heck, I don't know squat
about "Les Miserables."
Neither do I.
What are we going to do?
Don't worry about it, girls.
I'll tell you everything
you need to know.
After all, that's what
best friends are for.
Good because we also need
help cramming for our biology
quiz on the cro-mags.
Wow, who knew
an artist like me
could also excel at academics.
Looks like we're
all multi-talented.
Speaking of which,
what did you guys
decide to do about the play?
It's simple.
I'm going to convince
Mr. Tetley that Clover
is the right actress
for the part of Cosette.
And I'm going
to insist that he
make Sam my first understudy.
Mr. Tetley, we need to
talk to you right away.
Yeah, it's about
the part of Cosette.
Shh, not now, girls.
Oh Monsieur Valjean,
what ill fortunate
to be poor with no family.
That's it.
That was brilliant, Mandy,
you were born to play Cosette
and I won't take
no for an answer.
Mandy, you've got the
makings of a star.
Tell me something
I don't know.
That traitor.
That backstabber.
Here we go again.
[music playing]
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