Totally Spies! (2001) s01e20 Episode Script

1
[theme - moonbaby, "here we go"]
THEME SONG: Here we go.
We're getting on the road till
we stop, and then we'll shop.
So one, two, three now,
baby, here we go, go, go.
Here we go.
Here we go on a
mission undercover,
and we're in control.
Here we go.
Here we go.
We're totally spies, so
we'll get on with the show.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
[music playing]
[tires screeching]
Why are we stopping?
I need to get to the set!
What the--
[screaming]
[bell ringing]
I wonder what all
the excitement's about.
Beats me.
Hello, clueless people.
Our yearbooks came out today.
Hey, that's right.
Now, let's see.
Where's the page that
announces to one and all
that yours truly has
been voted the most
popular at Beverly High?
Oh, no!
This is terrible.
What is it Mandy?
Only the biggest disaster
ever to hit Beverly High.
It says that Sam's
been voted most popular!
BOTH: Huh?
Well, there's obviously
been some mistake.
Everyone knows that I am the
most popular girl in school.
Why would everyone
vote for me?
Duh.
Because you're smart, and
funny, and totally cool, Sammy.
That's why we want to hang
out with you this weekend.
BOTH: You do?
Of course.
We just love surrounding
ourselves with popularity.
Ciao.
That's it.
I am going to put a stop
to this madness right away.
I demand a recount!
OK, this is officially weird.
I got these for you.
Ah, thanks, Arnold.
You shouldn't have.
But you deserve
them, miss popular.
Hey, Sam, would you
sign our yearbooks?
Me too.
And me.
Uh, maybe later, guys.
Right now, I've got stuff to do.
Important stuff.
Bye.
[screaming]
Sammy, this is the
janitor's closet.
Yeah, what
important thing could
we possibly have to do in here.
Hide.
Sam, I realize that your
new-found celeb status might be
a bit overwhelming,
but trust me, you
can't run from the limelight.
You've got to embrace it.
Now, let's get back out
there and meet your fans.
JERRY (SPEAKER): Not so fast.
For once, I'm actually
happy to hear from Jerry.
Girls, I'm afraid I
have some terrible news.
Julia Hastings and Dirk
Johnson, the world's
top box office movie stars,
have been mysteriously abducted.
OK, I take it back.
So how did it happen?
In broad daylight, actually,
which is particularly odd.
That is odd.
I thought stars
only tanned indoors
under artificial sunlight.
Do we have any
suspects, Jerry?
None at all.
That's why WOOHP would like you
girls to go undercover and keep
an eye on Brock Williams.
Since he's the third
biggest box office star,
we suspect he may
be the next target.
BOTH: Wow.
No way!
Brock Williams is
totally hunkalicious.
Yes.
I'm glad you're
enthusiastic, but remember,
this is a very high
profile person.
Discretion is key.
We don't want the
media finding out.
Relax, Jer.
We're totally professionals.
[squeal]
Oh, my gosh.
Those are so cute.
They're called
rocket fuel mules.
They're called
fabulous, and I call dibs.
Yes.
We also have breathe easy,
go anywhere air masks, hoop
earring communicators,
banana clip boomerangs,
and that old standby, the
jet pack backpack filled
with a few low-key disguises.
Thanks, Jer.
Whatever.
We'll take it from here.
[music playing]
OK, so why am I
the gardener again?
Because the maid outfit
matches my new shoes,
and you're a terrible cook.
Gee, thanks.
You're welcome.
Now, let's do like Jer said,
and keep our eyes on Brock.
BOTH: Right.
Oh, man.
This place is so sweet.
That's because it's
Brock William's bedroom.
And look, he has a waterbed.
Clover, were supposed
to be investigating.
Remember?
You know, looking for
things out of the ordinary.
Do these count?
Hey, put those back.
Girls, you might
want to check this out.
Hello, handsome.
Actually, I was
talking about him.
That must be the abductor.
Come on, spies.
We gotta stop him.
No time like the present.
Hiyah!
I'll teach you to abduct very
important and very attractive
celebrities.
What the--
Whoa!
Don't worry, Brock, camo
boy's stalking days are over.
That's Mr. Williams to you.
And your so-called stalker is a
highly respected photographer.
I don't appreciate my hired
help attacking the media.
I'm not you're hired help.
I'm a domestic engineer.
Besides, I was just
trying to protect you.
From what, ending
up on the cover
of some fabulous,
high profile magazine?
Oh, I wouldn't
worry about that.
My camera is completely ruined.
You'll be hearing
from my lawyer.
Look, I'm really sorry.
Yes, whatever.
Just get back to
work, all of you.
You OK, Clover?
I'm fine, but my
crush is so over.
I don't blame you.
Brock just went from
hunkalicious to jerkerrific.
[screaming]
Did you just hear that?
Loud and clear.
Let's go.
ALL: Huh?
We've got to do something.
Quick.
The breathe easy, go
anywhere air masks.
[music playing]
They're getting away.
Not for long.
Hey, where'd they go!
[screaming]
Great, now what do we do?
We borrow that.
[music playing]
Huh, hey!
Don't worry, we'll return it.
Whoa!
ALL: [screaming]
Ah!
ALL: [screaming]
[sighing]
Abandon ski!
ALL: [screaming]
Oh, well, at
least we have this.
What is it?
Well, I'm not sure.
I saw the abductor
drop it in the tunnel.
We better send it to WOOHP.
That's a good idea.
So what's the update, spies?
Unfortunately, we
just lost Brock, Jer.
Oh, dear.
Well, we better get you home.
I'll send the
chopper toot sweet.
Good.
I could use some rest.
Actually, I have another
assignment for you.
Amber stone, another
big box office star,
is having a premier
tonight in Hollywood.
One of you must pretend
to be Amber, and bait
our elusive villain so the other
two can move in and stop him.
Well, obviously I should
play the part of Amber,
you know, being the most
dramatic one of the group.
Sorry, you're too tall.
That's why WOOHP has chosen
Alex as the celebrity decoy.
Alex?
Me?
We're pressing an Amber
Stone facial mask as we speak.
Now, in other celeb
news, it appears
that Sam, in her absence, has
been inundated with fan mail.
Seems you're quite the
overnight sensation.
Terrific.
[helicopter whirring]
[music playing]
Testing.
Sam, are you there?
(QUIETLY) I'm here.
Now, remember, the bad guy used
a camera lens to abduct Brock.
He could be any of
the paparazzi here.
Keep your eyes peeled.
Oh!
Believe me.
I'm keeping my eyes peeled.
(WHISPERING) Here
comes our starlet now.
[cheering]
I just want to thank everyone
for supporting my new movie.
This has been my most
challenging, rewarding role
yet.
Ugh, overact much?
That should be me down there.
I heard that, Clover.
[chattering]
So far, no one's
taking the bait.
The kidnapper probably
isn't buying Alex's
lame impersonation of Amber.
[electronic noise]
Guys, I don't want to
be a movie star anymore.
Clover, you can play
Amber if you want.
Where's the beam coming from?
I can't tell.
Keep an eye on Alex
while I figure it out.
[electronic noise]
[screaming]
Clover, it's coming from
the lens of the projector.
SAM: Alex is hit.
The ushers are taking her.
Why do all the cute
ones have to be bad guys?
Quick, grab him!
[screaming]
[chuckling]
Oh, what happened?
I feel like I just
slept in a cement mixer.
Not quite.
It appears Marco Lumiere
used his experimental camera
lens on you.
Marco Who-miere?
Marco Lumiere.
A frustrated experimental
filmmaker who invented
a camera lens which has
the ability to freeze
its subjects in place.
He lives on a secluded island
off the coast of South Africa.
It's a good bet that's
where he's taking Alex.
I've arrange for
your quick transport.
Good luck, girls.
Just when you thought
WOOHP technology
couldn't get any worse.
Guess it's a good
thing Alex was abducted,
or there'd be even
less room in here.
[music playing]
[engine whirring]
[screaming]
[screaming]
Oh, finally, some leg room.
Now, let's find Lumiere.
CLOVER: I think we already have.
[chuckling]
[ominous music]
[gasping]
SAM: That's him.
CLOVER: And there's
Alex and our stars.
You're all probably
very curious as to why
you've been assembled here.
Not really, pal.
We just want to get
the heck out of here.
My agent's probably
worried sick about me.
Ah, too bad.
Well, I'm going to
tell you anyway.
In the past, Hollywood has been
very dismissive of my work.
Now, I plan on making a film
they won't be able to ignore.
A film starring all of you.
I wouldn't star
in your stupid movie
if you offered me top billing
and all the money in the world.
[chuckling]
Trust me, this is an
offer you can't refuse.
And if we do refuse?
You have no choice.
This island is a giant
movie set rigged with traps
and explosives, and,
of course, cameras
to catch all the carnage.
[beep]
[explosion]
Who knows, if
somehow you manage
to survive my
blockbuster masterpiece,
I might even shoot a sequel.
First, Alex gets to play
the role clearly meant for me,
now she gets to be in a movie.
When do I get my big break?
Earth to Clover.
Alex has been abducted and is
being forced to play a role.
What's your point?
We've got to stop
this nut before he
starts shooting the movie.
You distract the thugs
while I round up the actors.
One, two--
MARCO LUMIERE: Action!
[explosions]
Get me out of here!
Guess I'm back to
just playing myself.
BOTH: [screaming]
SAM: Incoming.
Looks like I have
an imposter on my set.
Wait a second,
you're not Amber.
My name is Alex.
I'm here to save you.
Well, you can
start any time now.
[screaming]
Follow me.
Let's stay in here
until things die down.
Could you please
not say the word die.
[rumbling]
[screaming]
Nice work.
Keep it up.
[music playing]
This looks safe.
Let's hide in a saloon.
[horse neighing]
Look out!
[screaming]
Let's get out of here.
[horse neighing]
Who are these girls?
They're not movie stars.
[screaming]
Y'all come back and
visit real soon, now.
Could you please keep
a lid on the one liners.
[chuckling] Sorry.
[gun shots]
Got to lose these losers.
SAM: There's our ticket out.
[screaming]
This is exactly why
I use a stunt double.
[screaming]
[neighing]
Those girls are good.
Looks like I found some fresh
young talent to exploit.
[grunting]
[screaming]
[gasping]
Oh, no.
Do something.
CLOVER: This is really
eerie, but at least
we lost Lumiere's cronies.
[growling]
Wait a second.
It's just a mechanized prop.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
Whew, props are getting
so convincing these days.
Uh, oh.
here come some of his friends.
Run.
CLOVER: Look out!
Never underestimate the
power of a good accessory.
[chopping]
Grab hold.
I have a plan.
[screaming]
Looks like we're in the clear.
And I thought those
soldiers were bad.
Yeah, these guys
look twice as mean.
Except for the part where
they're wearing revealing mini
skirts.
Normally when I'm surrounded
by a mob of crazed men,
they're trying to
get my autograph.
Something tells me
these guys aren't fans.
What's going on?
[grunting]
Not so fast, Lumiere.
No!
That is a wrap.
Excellent work, girls.
Yeah, thanks to you
we can get back to being
stars, instead of seeing stars.
If you ever want to
consider a career in movies,
give us a call.
Oh, now that you
mention it, as a child,
I always did fancy the thought
of myself on the big screen.
Perhaps I'll take
you up on that offer.
Ah, too bad they don't make
silent movies anymore, Jer.
ALL: [laughing]
[grunting]
[music playing]
I don't know about you, but I
am so glad to finally be home.
Totally.
I've had it with celebrities.
ALL: [chatting]
I think you've
got just enough time
to make it to the janitor's
closet, you know, if you run.
[clears throat]
Attention everyone.
I have a very important
announcement to make.
After recounting the
official ballots,
I have found that there was
an error in the tabulation.
As I suspected, I am the
most popular girl in school.
Wait, slow down.
I was just kidding.
Do not touch the Mandy.
[screaming]
Think we should tell her
about the janitor's closet?
No way.
Hey, where's Alex?
I don't know.
Maybe she's out
sick or something.
Weird.
I mean, you think she'd at
least have called one of us.
[beeping]
Help!
[screaming]
BOTH: Alex?
Don't bother.
No one can help you now.
[theme music]