We Bare Bears (2015) s03e07 Episode Script

Professor Lampwick

1 Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da ba-da-ba-da-ba Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da Let's go! We'll be there A wink and a smile and a great, old time Yeah, we'll be there Wherever we are, there's fun to be found We'll be there when you turn that corner We'll jump out the bush With a big bear hug and a smile We'll be there [Music.]
[Bells chiming.]
Okay, bros, here's the plan.
When Chloe's finished with her lab, we're gonna - run over and cheer and - Wait, here she comes! [Indistinct conversations.]
Chloe! Yeah, you did it! - Whoo! - Guys, stop.
- Chloe! Chloe! - Guys, please stop.
- Guys! - Chloe, is everything okay? Uh, thanks for the enthusiasm, but I didn't do so hot on the lab.
Oh, no! [Kazoo toots sadly.]
But we helped you practice and everything.
We even wrote you that song.
You take a beaker of this thing And you drip it into this thing Both: # When the stuff turns pink, what have you found? # - The equivalence point of sodium hydroxide.
- # That # I know, I know.
That wasn't the problem.
It was my teacher, Professor Lampwick! - He messed me up! - What? How did he do that? [Sighs.]
Well, things started off okay.
15-minute titration? No problem.
Burets were calibrated.
Base solution measured to the milliliter.
But then Lampwick came around the corner to check up on us.
He's just so intimidating! [Clock ticking loudly.]
Wha! [Beeping.]
Ugh! What?! - No, no, no, no, no! - Too late, Miss Park.
And I failed my lab right then and there! Aw, man, Chloe, that's terrible.
I wish I could go talk to him about it, redo it or something.
- I know the material! - Wait, but why can't you? Nobody ever goes to talk to Lampwick.
He doesn't even have office hours.
Come on, now.
He can't be all bad.
He's a man of science, after all.
[Clears throat.]
Excuse me, Miss Park.
I realize your time is not especially valuable, but mine is.
- Now move aside, child.
- [Grunts.]
Sorry, Professor! Whoa! That's him, huh?! What? Aah! Chloe, you should ask about the lab.
No way, Grizz! Did you even see him? Ah, don't be silly.
Come on.
Sir, hold on! Um, our friend Chloe has something to ask you.
Go on, Chloe.
Um, I-I was wondering, Professor, if, maybe - [Sighs.]
Out with it, girl.
- I, well [Shuddering.]
Uh, listen, sir, all Chloe wants is a chance to pour and drip that thing again, a redo.
I don't believe in second chances.
And, frankly, Miss Park, I'm surprised by your choice of study group.
I doubt these bears could even do basic arithmetic.
Can, too! Th-That's math, right? [Sighs.]
Miss Park, my time will not be wasted on a girl who can't even start a sentence or on these bumpkins she calls friends.
- But But - Good day.
Oh, man.
Chloe, you weren't kidding.
- That dude is scary.
- Ice Bear slightly intimidated.
I'll never be able to talk to him.
[Alarm beeps.]
Aah! I'm late for Quantum! Bye, guys.
Thank you for trying.
- Man, poor Chloe.
- I feel her, though.
I'd be nervous around that dingle, too.
- Ice Bear must help Chloe.
- Yeah, if only we could get Chloe some good face-to-face time with him.
[Cellphone buzzes.]
[Cellphone whooshing.]
What? [Knock on door.]
Chloe: Hey, guys, I'm here! Um, 'sup, Grizz? Okay, Chloe, I got a surprise for you.
Just promise not to freak out or anything.
- Why would I do that? - Come on, come on.
- And behold! - What the heck's going on? What?! You You You kidnapped my professor?! [Grunting.]
What made you think this was a good idea?! Hey, I said don't freak out, and, heck, isn't this what you wanted some quality time with your professor? [Growls.]
Panda, how did this happen? Well, uh, first I Internet stalked him, found his house, and I asked him to come with us, but he got real mad, so I, uh Oh, man, that sounds real bad out loud.
Uh, yeah! And how about you?! Ice Bear tied knots.
Look, I appreciate it, guys, but you could get in really big trouble.
Professor, I'm so, so sorry about this.
So, this is what society has become, hmm? And you, Miss Park! Once free, I will personally ensure that you are expelled! [Screams.]
Okay, Chloe, think, think.
Oh, what to do, what [Cellphone ringing.]
- [Gasps.]
It's his phone! - Uh, uh, I got it.
Let me get in there.
Pardon me.
Oh, okay.
End call.
Peterson: Hello, Lampwick.
Dean Peterson here.
Everything okay? You're missing your class.
Just wanted to check in.
Hello? Hello? Ahem.
[Deep voice.]
This is Lampwick.
I'm feeling ill today noxious fumes and all that.
Wait, what? Lampwick?! [Beep.]
[Normal voice.]
Okay, maybe we just need to try to just reason this out.
Professor, please, let's talk.
Talking won't do you any good now.
I will see to it that you never roam the halls - of the university again.
- Hey, man, not cool! And the three of you will fare no better, will you? A whole family behind bars.
It'll be life sentences for all of you.
Aah! I-I can't go to jail.
I'm too cute.
- I'll be eaten alive! - Calm yourself.
Okay, huddle up.
I know things look bad like, real bad.
But I'm sure we can think of a way through this.
Please, Grizz! I'll never get a higher education if I'm in jail.
Okay, okay, how about Oh, hypnosis.
- I have a watch.
- Ice Bear can tie more knots.
Panda, any ideas? Panda? - [Yelling.]
Panda?! - Panda?! - Grizzly: What are you doing?! - Well, he he says if I help him, I might not have to go to jail! - That's right, boy.
Keep untying.
- Yes, sir! [Music.]
- Panda, stop it! Bro! - No, I don't want to go! - Get him.
- Aah! Whoa! Let me go! No, let go! I don't want to go to jail! [Chuckles.]
No movies, no games, no phone.
He wouldn't last a week.
Ah! I got to untie him! I have so much to live for.
Please, no, Panda! He's freaking out! We got to do something.
[Music stops.]
Panda, comfy? - Yeah, I'm good.
- I'm sorry.
It's just temporary until we figure something out.
No, I'm sorry for going a little nuts there.
Hey, do you think you could grab my phone? Maybe I could listen to some calming tunes or something? Ah, don't worry.
I got you, bro.
Yeah, Panda, we'll get out of this, together.
- I wouldn't count on that.
- What do you mean, Lampwick? Ah, the grizzly.
Unintelligent but doggedly loyal.
What are you getting at? Didn't you see how eager he was to get that phone? Surely, Miss Park, he is calling to turn you in.
Nope, I'm not listening! - Don't be so naive, Miss Park.
- I'm not listening! I can't hear you.
La la la la la.
Perhaps he's making a deal for his brothers to walk free.
Blood is thicker than water, they say.
Aw, man.
It's gonna rain tomorrow.
What took you so long, Grizz? Hmm? Um, w-what are you talking about? I had to find it.
- It was under Miki-Chan for some reason.
- Uh-huh.
You weren't maybe, for example, calling to turn me in?! C-Chloe, what are you saying?! It's me, your friend Grizz! Would I ever do something like that? [Growls.]
Okay, Chloe, this is getting ridiculous.
You're letting him get to you like he did to me! [Chuckles.]
What a train wreck this is.
First, your friends tie me up, and now you've tied them up! Most ironic.
You're next, you know.
What hidden motive lurks behind his stoic chiseled features? [Music.]
Do you even really know him? Ice Bear will cut out middle man.
Well, well, look at this! No one left to help you, is there, little girl? [Music.]
Who can you turn to now? [Music.]
And, certainly, that feeble mind of yours won't suffice.
And you call yourself a child prodigy? You don't belong in my class or any class in this institution.
You're no prodigy.
I am a prodigy! And I worked hard for it! And you're nothing but a tenured wash-up who's got nothing better to do than intimidate and bully! [Gasping.]
My, my, Miss Park! This is a side of you I haven't seen.
- Well, can we make a deal or not? - Hmm.
I'm listening.
Grizz, do you still have my chemistry set here? Yeah, it's in the living room.
All right, Professor, how about this? I'll redo my lab right here, right now.
If I do it right, you have to leave and pretend none of this happened.
And if I fail, you can kick me out of school.
And have you all locked up.
- Don't worry, Chloe.
You got this.
- We believe in you, Chloe.
- Chloe, next Marie Curie.
- Deal! Oh, and, Miss Park, you don't get 15 minutes.
You get five.
But that that's imposs [Sighs.]
Fine! All right, Lampwick, let's do this.
- It's all you, Chloe! - Go, Chloe! Yes, Miss Park.
Impress me.
Your time begins now.
Okay, okay.
100 millimeters of N-A-O-H.
Record molarity.
Um, um, uh Dilute hydrochloric acid.
Now, uh, set up buret? Whoa! [Ticking.]
Feels like déjà vu, doesn't it, Miss Park? You just don't have it in you.
Ah, which chemical comes next? Uh, a few drops of this to Ooh.
Maybe it was that.
Don't you know the difference between your acids and bases? Even wee babies know that.
Oh, but you're no wee baby, Miss Park.
You're a prodigy, aren't you? Come on, focus, Chloe! Focus! Getting in your head.
Get out! Together: # Oh # You take a beaker of this thing And you drip it into this thing Both: # And when the stuff turns pink, what have you found? # The concentration of what's inside! So I take the tube of this stuff And rinse it with this stuff I'll just pour and I'll mix - # You'll swirl # - # And you'll drip # And when the stuff turns pink, what have you found? Boom! The equivalence point of sodium hydroxide.
Whoo-hoo, yeah! [Cheering.]
Chloe, you did it! [Chuckles.]
I actually did it.
Bravo, Miss Park! A tad unorthodox, to be sure, but very well done.
You You untied yourself?! Oh, yes, I've been untied for some time now.
I wanted to see you perform under pressure, and I must say that you delivered.
I'll count this as an extra credit.
That should make up for the lab.
What?! Hang on.
You're not gonna press charges? My dear, Miss Park, do you really think you're the first student to kidnap me over a grade? [Chuckles.]
You are, however, the first to get it right.
Auf wiedersehen! Um, guys, I know things got kind of crazy in there, but thank you so much.
- You guys are the best friends ever.
- Aw, Chloe, no problem.
But, uh, you should transfer to a different class, though.
That man is truly messed up.

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