Welcome to the Family (2018) s01e04 Episode Script

Episode 4

Shitty printer I can't believe this.
Why are you up so early? It's an important day.
Oh.
So, you have remembered.
It's a crucial day for the firm.
But the shit printer you got me has run out of ink, and I need to go out and print some vital reports.
Listen, mister, - as your associate, I'm entitled to - No, no, no.
You only own 49 %, so, I make the decisions.
I helped you out so, you'd help good people, like your dad.
Well, I have something big in my hands.
A good case? A fabulous case, it's practically won already.
Why hadn't you told me? If you were a decent secretary, you'd know already.
Good bye.
Good bye? - What? - Do you know what day it is? - Do I know what day it is? - Yes.
Do you think I don't know? How could I not know what day it is? Today is the day The day of your Oh! Your birthday! - See? - Yes.
Did you get me a present? - Of course, I did, Mom.
- Oh.
- You always spoil my surprises.
- Oh.
You'll see.
I've got you something huge and beautiful.
Good bye.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
Did you sleep OK? Sara kept moving around.
Did she sleep with you? She came over because you snore.
No way.
I don't snore.
- Don't you? - Not at all.
She slept in your bed because, since you got her the drums, you're her favorite.
Are you jealous? Extremely.
We should go to the gym, to check if he's defrosted.
I've checked, he still needs some time.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Wow.
Do you always greet people like this or are you celebrating? We told you we didn't need your services.
What is he doing here? Business.
- Leave now or - Or what? You'll treat me like your father? Excuse me? No need to pretend.
I know he's dead.
- Oh.
- Fucking magicians.
That's not true, my father is away.
Oh, my God! Is that what my hair looks like from behind? It's horrible! - Did you hide a camera in here? - No.
It's a pen camera.
- This is illegal.
- Oh, illegal! Call the police.
Sara, come to see this! Coming! Do they know you killed the old man? - No.
- We haven't killed anybody.
- My father died naturally.
- He did.
- And you wanted to alter the will.
- Here's when you come in.
You said she was entitled to a part anyway.
May I see the famous testament? Yes.
Well, I think so.
WELCOME TO THE FAMILY I'll shut up in exchange for 20 % of your share.
Hell Let's see: I've checked his bank accounts.
How much? The old man was a bit hard up.
Excuse me? I had a look and his accounts are all empty.
It seems his latest books had bombed.
- But - He was penniless.
However, when your brother inherits, he will have to pay 300,000 euros.
Which means I get around 60,000.
- And me? - Are you blackmailing us? No, I'm silencing my conscience.
At a very low price, by the way.
Wait a minute.
You are Àngela.
Yes, I am.
- Àngela Navarro? - Yes.
- Yes.
- Maria Àngeles Navarro.
Oh, fuck.
- What - What's wrong? I'll tell you.
Clause D35: you are disinherited.
Disinherited? Your father removed you from the will.
You didn't contact him for 10 years: that's grounds for disinheritance.
So, what does that mean? You don't get anything.
- And I won't get anything.
- But But This wasn't here.
Read the small print, you bad daughter! Wait - Are you sure? - Yes.
But - What can we do? - Eduardo could go to a notary and grant his daughter a pardon.
Eduardo is dead.
I was being sarcastic.
- Whatever, but Eduardo is dead.
- I know.
This is shit.
Yes, that's life.
- Cigarette? - No, thanks.
- I smoke Vogue blue.
- Ah.
Look.
Follow me.
We have to talk.
All is not lost for you.
Come to my office.
Oh.
You still have usufruct.
- And you do too.
- No.
- Yes, you do.
- No.
Usufruct is a right.
You should know I specialize in widows.
- What are you talking about? - Nothing, we're smoking.
Yes, having a cigarette.
- What then? - Nothing.
Where is my briefcase? - There must be something we can do.
- No! I must go now.
I have work to do.
You can't leave, you have evidence against us.
I can't make any money off you.
Yours was a really shit plan anyway.
Oh, it's a dog.
Do you mind? This makes us even.
You can't take the painting! Why? Of course, I can.
Come here.
Come to my office.
I suspect he's not a lawyer extraordinaire.
What do we do? What? Has he defrosted? Give me that, Sara.
Was this ever modern technology? What are you doing with Mom's things? Leave that alone! Fran, this is gold.
These are Mom's grades from when she was my age.
Six fails.
How dare she tell me off? - Try these on.
- OK.
Why did you bring this here? - Look! - That shit? It was in the attic.
It's a Goya.
It was in the living room.
A Goya.
I thought I'd seen it before.
That means we have it twice.
We could use the frame to hang - Mom's first communion portrait.
- Let me take a picture.
Hang on Why would anybody have the same Goya twice? No idea.
How should I know? Listen, I think the one in the lounge could be worth a lot.
- These really suit you.
- Hey! Perfect.
This Goya was stolen from el Prado.
The museum, I see.
The painting, the painting The painting.
- What's up? - The picture Where is the picture that was here? We gave it away.
It was horrible.
Excuse me? What? No, no, you can't do that.
This painting could be a real Goya and be worth a lot.
Did you say a million euros? The lawyer extraordinaire has left.
That wasn't a Goya.
Of course, it was.
One of his Black Paintings from 1820.
Everybody knows that.
- But how can it be the real one? - It was stolen eight years ago.
They never found it.
- It was on all the papers.
- It's not this one.
It has always been here.
It was all my dad took from his parents’ house.
Yes, the picture of the little dog.
No, no, no, no.
That one is the one we found in the attic.
Think.
Why would he have it twice? I don't know.
You should tell us.
Well, as Mom said, he liked this picture a lot.
He brought it here and hung it on his living room knowing it was a copy.
And when it was stolen from the museum, he bought it in the black market, the original.
He hung it here and put the copy in the attic with the junk.
That makes sense.
And it's our best bet.
Let me see if I understand.
This painting isn't worth a million euros, correct? It's worthless, a piece of shit.
And the good one, the real one, is with Mr.
Dorado, lawyer extraordinaire.
Hello! - Shoes off! - Right.
Yes, just a minute.
Yes, yes, I'm taking my shoes off.
Oh, Lord.
That's it.
Come on.
Happy birthday, Mom! Do you like it? It's beautiful.
- Oh.
- It cost me a fortune, Mom.
- Did you get the case? - Of course, I did.
There is no money in it, though.
They're just a penniless family.
They're hard up.
One thing is being good, but don't be taken in.
No! Don't take Arturo down! This dog gives us the wrong image.
Customers think they're at the vet clinic.
How can you say that? He was like a brother for you! Sure, a brother.
Move out of the way.
Fine, I'm going.
First, we defrost him and now we freeze him again.
I'm fed up of carrying him around all day.
Shit.
Get in there! That's it.
Fuck.
Well If we recover the painting, I swear you'll be my hero forever.
And if we don't? You'll be the freak that pissed in my room.
And that kisses prostitutes.
You sex fiend! David told me yesterday.
For the record, I didn't pay.
Oh, man.
Why do we always have to do the hard work? David gets out of everything.
He has some nerve! Hello! Raül Dorado, lawyer extraordinaire, please? Of course.
There's a lady asking for you.
I'm coming.
Wow! Thank you for coming.
Come in, please.
- Of course.
- Follow me.
- Take your shoes off, please.
- Ah.
Don't mind her.
Go.
Would you like a drink, Mrs? I'm no longer a missus.
I'm back on the market.
Call me miss.
I would like a White Russian.
It's three parts vodka, one part coffee liqueur and a candied cherry on top.
Thank you.
- So sophisticated I like her for you.
- Off you go.
- I'll fix the drink.
- Thank you.
The candied cherry is essential.
I don't want an olive or candied fruit.
It must be a cherry.
- Correct.
- Thank you.
- Did I mention the soy milk? - I bought some yesterday.
I'm really sorry It has to be coconut milk.
But I don't think I can Well, it has to be coconut milk.
Coconut.
Coconut, coconut.
Go to get some, please.
- Let me put my shoes on.
- You're obsessed.
Go in your slippers! Come on.
This is not businesslike.
- I hire her for tax reasons.
- No say pas problem.
Oh, moi aussi.
Je ne comprend pas.
- This way.
- After you.
I don't know your office.
Of course.
I wasn't thinking.
I hope Victòria gets rid of the granny.
Disinherited.
I can't I always thought that my father regretted what he'd done.
I thought that when he died, I'd get a letter.
An apology or something.
But disinheriting me? - You know what he was like.
- Am I that bad, Nando? My father hated me, your brother left me with two kids and Sara on the way.
Nobody wants to live with me.
Well.
I do.
You do it for the children.
Well The old lady! Let's go.
OK.
What did you say about using fructose or something like that? Usufruct is the legal right of a widow to use and enjoy the property that she shared with the deceased.
I don't understand a word of what you say, but these technicalities make me very horny.
Go on, please.
Of course.
- The person holding the bare property - Yes.
can't enjoy the assets - Ah.
- because said assets are reserved to the usufructuary.
Oh.
You can continue living in the house even if it belongs to his son.
Could you tell me in Latin, please? - I can.
- You can.
- Viudum - Oh.
- potere - Ah.
livirum in the habitaculum.
Make love to me, please.
- Of course.
- Please.
Follow me into the dormitorium.
Victòria really means business.
Oh, my God.
They're psychopaths.
Wait.
Look, it's over there.
What are you doing? - I have to show Sareta.
- Hurry! Someone's coming.
One momentum, Victòria! Fuck! Ejaculatio problemum est.
Hold on! Hold on! I have prophylacticum.
I'm on my way! Oh, shit! What's all that noise, Mom? Call the police! It's Nando and Àngela.
Right, we have identified them.
We wanted to see the lawyer extraordinaire.
Shit.
I'm a lose end, aren't I? Don't kill me.
- Move and you'll feel this! - Whoa.
- What? - Stop this! Calm down! It's not worth it, can't you see? Why are there two paintings? They came to swap them.
Yours is worth a fortune.
Why did you let me take it? We didn't know.
What do you mean by "a fortune"? Victòria, you have used me.
Raül, what has happened in there is true.
It's real.
Fine.
Because of what we have shared, you can go.
I won't call the police.
- Great.
- Thank you.
The painting stays here.
I've given it away.
And now it's mine.
- I decide what to do with it.
- Madam Stay out of it, Mom! I'm sorry.
I left my purse and I couldn't get the milk.
- Take your shoes off, please.
- It's her pet hate.
We're in a meeting.
Don't interrupt.
How dare you give me a stolen painting? How could you? How could you steal from a nice family.
From a lady, the only decent woman that has set foot in this house.
They're not what they seem.
Wait a moment.
You may take this ugly painting too.
It may not look like it, but Raül is a good boy.
He will gladly help you sell the painting.
It's worth a lot, Mom.
For a 20 % fee.
My mother is right.
You need me.
I have the contacts and the expertise to make sure you don't sell at a loss.
Without me you're like a child with a sweet.
- Do you have black market contacts? - No, I don't.
The dead guy just got a message! I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU FOR DAYS.
ARE YOU OK? It's the cop! YES, I'M PERFECT.
Hawaii! I'M IN HAWAII, SEARCHING INSPIRATION FOR MY NOVEL WEREN'T YOU IN MONTSERRAT? Shit! WHAT'S WRONG, EDUARDO? What's wrong? You said "shit".
Nothing, I'm fine.
I wanted to help.
Hawaii, seriously? It's better than a monastery in Montserrat.
You're my brother, you can't tell on me.
It's them.
Hello, beauties! She's come back with both of them.
A woman's touch.
- What do you think? - Have you been drinking? I need fuel as well.
- Stop drinking now.
- Listen.
I have good news.
Come with me, you won't believe it.
Could you put the paintings where they belong? - David, you handle the copy.
- Leave them alone.
- What is it? - Listen: - Do tell.
- You and I can stay in the house regardless of the testament.
Raül has told me, can you believe it? Mama, he's playing with you, can't you see it? You're such a spoilsport.
Sometimes I think you just envy me.
- Take this off, Mom.
- I will not! We can stay here because I was married to Eduardo.
And he didn't even want me.
- Good job I - You weren't married, Mom! - No.
- Weren't we? What is this, then? A ring to shut you up.
What about the wedding in Hawaii? The Hawaiian rite is not official.
What do you mean? I don't understand.
Where is my mother? She's in the black market, looking for a buyer.
A black market buyer.
You're such bad asses Could you tell us why we need this Rodríguez? Because nobody else has Flavio's number.
The best art trafficker in the city.
And he'll tell you? Yes, we're old friends.
- We met at a trial.
- Did you lose? No, I was acquitted.
The defense did a wonderful job.
Rodríguez will help us: he's a businessman, like me.
I hope he's not like you.
Don't worry at all.
You take it from here.
Hello.
- Good morning.
- Who the hell are you? I am Àngela, this is Nando.
We need Flavio's number.
How dare you come here, you bastard? It was her idea.
You're lucky there's a lady.
Otherwise, I'd tear your balls out with my teeth.
What's with all this hate? We were good friends.
Until you fucked my wife, you bastard.
That's not true.
He blackmailed me because I had money, then reported me to the police.
And he fucked my wife, to top it off.
The only woman I've loved.
That is very bad.
It's inexcusable.
But we need Flavio's number.
We want to sell a painting.
A stolen Goya.
- Not interested.
- Wait! Please.
- We don't like him at all either.
- We don't like him.
May I have a word? - With him? - A quick chat.
- Just you? - Yes.
Oh.
Yes.
One minute.
I get it.
You don't know us from Adam.
You have no reasons to help us out.
But we really need the money.
Àngela has three kids and has lost her home.
We're staying at a big house with a swimming pool and a tennis court.
If you want my pity, it's not going well.
I see.
I'm her brother-in-law, I sleep on the sofa.
But I need us to get our apartment back.
Our home.
Because Because Go on.
I think that we have a deeper connection than ever before.
If we could go back now, things would be different.
Because I'm in love.
I'm madly in love with her.
That is why we need help to sell the painting.
What are you saying? You've been in love, that's why you're angry with Dorado.
He fucked your wife.
Technically, it was just oral sex.
Go away.
It's very important for me.
I'm asking personally.
- Write this down.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
661-78-19-48.
Thanks.
For the record, it wasn't your shitty speech.
He's offered me 10 % of the profits.
Business.
If you tell Mom that David screwed up with the phone messages, I'll turn your telescope into one of those smoking things.
What do you suggest? We must tell her the cop suspects something.
We could send him a message to explain.
Perfect, we could tell him there's a Montserrat in Hawaii.
Great idea, David.
- Wow.
- Wow.
- What? - Are you OK? I mean You've used irony for the first time ever.
I have an idea.
Nando will sort it out, but we cannot tell Mom.
You can stop being the impertinent older brother and start being the cool brother.
Now you steal, use irony and want to make out with your sexy aunt.
It's time to drop the older brother act.
Don't tell on us! Well, I Fran, Fran, Fran, Fran, Fran! - Fran, Fran, Fran, Fran, Fran! - Fran, Fran, Fran, Fran, Fran! - Fran, Fran, Fran, Fran, Fran! - Stop it, David.
- Fran, Fran, Fran! - Fran, Fran, Fran! - Fine, I won't say a word! - Yes! - Don't blame it on the sunshine.
- Stop it.
Say it's the copy.
You can't tell on us.
He's right.
This is shit.
It's fucking shit.
Are you sure about this? I'm a natural! Use more brown.
There.
Brown? Are you sure? I've pulled it off.
- Hey.
- Hello.
What's up? What have you done? Have you gone crazy? You can tell, right? No, not at all! Listen, are you sure that the Hawaii wedding isn't official? - It's not official.
- Fran! Where is the painting? In the In the study.
Could you come? It's not that heavy.
Have you been smoking my cigarettes? The buyer is on his way.
Keep David there.
I don't want him messing around.
Behave.
If this goes badly, we could all go down.
Shut up, please.
Nothing will happen.
It's fine.
We have the painting and I spoke to the buyer.
He seems a nice person.
What are the plumbers doing here? Today of all days It must be them.
He said they were incognito.
- Yes, it's him.
- Oh.
Let's see.
Victòria? - Yes? - Open the door.
Fran, go to the study.
Raül, stay here.
You get the painting.
The painting.
Let's go.
I'll open.
Come on.
- Good afternoon.
- Hello.
We're here about the leak.
What leak? I've been told Oh, OK.
Fine.
I get it.
Now I get it.
Follow me, please.
Hello, I'm Àngela.
We spoke on the phone.
Hello.
Raül Dorado, the family's “consigliere”.
Pleased to meet you.
Maria Victòria.
- Anybody else at home? - No.
Just my associate.
He's getting the painting.
Before you see the painting, you should show us the money.
Of course, no problem.
Litus.
Drinks? Would you like a drink while we wait for the painting, gentlemen traffickers? Holy shit.
They'll notice.
They will.
They will notice.
Can't you fix it, Nando? Yes, don't worry.
I will fix it.
Trust Nando.
He has the best ideas.
How will he fix it? A fake drum kit won't cut it this time.
Maybe it will.
Excuse me.
Perfect.
Small bills.
Nonconsecutive, nice touch.
Very good.
We're recommended by Mr.
Rodríguez.
- No idea.
- Rodríguez.
He's in prison.
No idea.
Rodríguez, he always looks annoyed.
We don't know anybody.
Oh.
Really nice.
- They're from a cooperative.
- You can tell when it's this good.
Here it is.
What What is he doing? - Checking it's a real Goya.
- OK.
Why do we trust this guy? Why This guy is a pain, no sense of humor.
But he's the best valuer in Europe.
- Ah.
- A real pro.
He's not on commission.
He gets paid anyway.
OK, good.
I just - I wanted to know.
- It's fine.
Wow, the cops! Abort! No, no, wait.
He's a family friend.
- Is he? - Yes, he Make him go away.
Right now.
- If I see anything weird - No.
Don't worry, you won't.
Miquel! What a surprise.
Why are you here? I need - Who - I'm not here as Miquel.
I'm agent Ibáñez Monroy.
- Oh.
- You made such a mess yesterday.
You stole a patrol car, you freed a witness I'm really sorry about yesterday, agent.
- I wanted to talk too.
- I'm done talking with you.
In that case, you'd better leave.
OK, fine.
Yesterday your dad was in Montserrat.
Today, he sends me a chat message, which is unusual, - saying he's in Hawaii.
- Impossible.
Sorry, what I mean is - Can I see the message? - Sure.
There you go.
- So? - Eh I've done some searches.
- Flights, hotels, monasteries - Ah And Eduardo isn't in Hawaii or in Montserrat.
- Are you sure? - Completely, Àngela.
- Let me have a look.
- Do you have a warrant? - Excuse me? - Sorry.
I'm sorry, Miquel.
There's something I haven't told you.
It's important.
Fine, let's see.
I'm listening.
- Go on.
- My father My father He hasn't forgiven me.
- What? - He hasn't.
I came here with my children because we lost the apartment and we needed money.
- He wouldn't lend me any.
- Seriously? It gets worse.
He made me apologize, but he didn't accept my apologies.
What are you doing here, then? Well He He let me stay for one week while I looked for another place.
And then he left.
He said he'd turn his phone off.
So, that nobody made him change his mind.
I guess he meant you.
That explains him not answering my calls.
- Avoiding me all the time.
- Exactly.
Of course.
I didn't expect this from your father.
I'm so upset, Miquel.
How are you? I'm so sorry about this.
How could I be? Very upset.
I came here to fix things, but I know.
I'd offer you my home, but - You know Lili doesn't like you very much.
- It seems that everybody hates me around here.
That's not true.
Don't say that.
I don't hate you, do you hear me? You don't? Look, I'll take care of this.
When your dad comes back, I'll talk him into making up.
- I don't think you will.
- Listen Why won't he talk to me now? He knows I can make him change his mind.
- Sure.
- He knows that when I get something in my head, I'm I'm unstoppable.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
- I have to - I - I need to have a look at - Me too.
- some papers.
- I have - stuff to do.
- And - Well - I need to - Well - We can - We can talk later.
- Sure.
- Yes.
- OK.
- Good bye.
- Good bye, Miquel.
Bye, Miquel.
It's unprofessional to kiss a cop.
It was a ruse.
So? What's wrong? He's trying to buy me.
- What? - What? But this is an authentic Goya.
Excuse me? - Are you sure? - Without a doubt.
Shit.
Abort! Abort! - What is going on? - I haven't done anything.
No crime committed.
I'm leaving.
What is this shit? - A terrible lighter.
- This is a spycam.
- The worst in the market.
- I can explain, it's quite absurd.
It's mine.
I left it here this morning.
I love detective gadgets.
I also have the pen spycam.
And a button mic.
"Hello, testing.
" And this is wonderful, my favorite.
Look.
A money belt.
It has a zipper.
Oh.
Who are you? How can a set of losers like you have a Goya? - What are you doing? - We're leaving.
Don't you want the painting? - Yes, we do.
- And the money? - That too.
- You can't do that! Oh, can't we? Of course, we can! It's all on tape! You made him laugh, and that's something.
Mine now.
Great.
They took everything.
We've no money and no painting.
- We're finished.
- That means - I didn't screw up.
- No.
So the good one was in the attic.
- It would explain the alarm.
- Yes.
We could still use this frame to put - Mom's picture! - Stop playing around, David! It will look awesome.
You'll break it, David.
- I just want the frame.
- You'll break it, David.
- Be careful, David! - Stop it! And now it's broken.
What is this? - I don't - What? Oh! Seriously? - Tons of money! - 100 euro bills! I can't believe it! We're now rich! We're now rich! - I can't believe it.
- Unbelievable! You can't use the money for anything.
Don't listen to me.
I can't believe this.
We need a firm that has existed for some time.
- The electronic pipes.
- It belongs to Lola.
You broke up when she fucked your friend.
Take this.
- The stone.
- It heard Elvis sing for the last time.
4,000 electronic pipes.
We want to launder 400,000 euros.
9 and 10.
This is 10,000.
This is a special trick.
I do it with my mouth.
That's disgusting.
If you con us, I will follow you wherever you go.
Àlex's boyfriend is cheating on her in New York.
No Would you rather not know Lola cheated on you? Why can't I fall in love with nice guys like you? - I broke up with Lili.
- What? - I smell a dead body.
- A dead body? She wants Nando for herself.
What if Àngela finds another man? Will you still sleep on her sofa? - Is everything OK? - Don't you have anything better to do? Lola wants you to go with her She's treacherous, unfaithful and a conspirer.
Sara.
Listen to me, Sara.
Nando!