Wild Cards (2024) s01e03 Episode Script

Howl to Get Away With Murder

´╗┐1
- Previously on Wild Cards.
- I need to get off that boat
and back to being a
full-time detective.
And you need to stay out of
prison. Best way we do that
is to keep our heads down and do as
we're told, think you can handle that?
Absolutely. This is our
first official shift together.
You think Hall and Oates
walk on stage separately?
- Nice work, both of you.
- You hear that? He said, "Both."
If you couldn't be a
cop, what would you be?
Nothing. My dad raised me
to be a cop. It's who I am.
(RHYTHMIC MUSIC)
- There you go!
I didn't get the memo,
did you get the memo?
Me neither. You don't even work
here, why would you get the memo?
- Oh, and the crowd goes wild!
- Lucky catch.
- So do I get a shirt?
- No.
You see, Ellis here isn't
exactly a team player.
- Oh, really?
- Well, he would be if he had a shirt.
- We have any more shirts?
- We don't have any more shirts.
No. I still don't get how you're here.
Don't think about it too much,
okay? You'll strain yourself.
Simmons, Yates, stop messing around.
Go split the squad up into teams.
- And you two
- Trust fall? Escape room?
You know we could really use shirts.
Not for where you're going.
You know Stanford Township?
That little town out in wine
country outside the city?
That's it. Their local
butcher's gone missing.
I'm sure they have
their own force, right?
An entire force of two, and they
both just went on their honeymoon.
Together? That's so sweet.
I assured the commissioner we'd
be happy to step in and help.
So go help.
- If we find the butcher, do we get shirts?
- No.
Don't make this any worse
than it already is, okay?
- What are you doing?
- What? We're a team, we need building.
(RHYTHMIC MUSIC)
Okay, what is your
earliest childhood memory?
I'm not playing this game.
Do you consider yourself a masterpiece
or a work in progress?
Anybody who considers
themselves a masterpiece
is not somebody you want on your team.
Fair enough. Okay, if you
could have any superpower,
what would it be?
That's easy. The power to
get out of this conversation.
Captain Avoidance,
superpower: Deflection.
We need to focus on him, okay?
Okay.
Lucas Mays. 34, no priors.
Volunteers for the elderly,
coaches little league,
and he looks like a Hemsworth.
- Ellis, we have got to find this man.
- Oh, now you're focused.
Well, what if he's wandering the woods?
Lost with sunlight glistening off his
Okay. We're here.
(GENTLE MUSIC)
Something about these
small towns, you know?
It's like a Norman Rockwell painting.
Have you ever looked at those
paintings? Decidedly creepy.
Thor lives in that trailer?
Kidding me? It's not just a trailer,
it's a classic Silver Bullet.
First class in lack of commitment,
any guy who lives in a house on wheels
is usually looking for a quick exit.
Lucas Mays?
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(KNOCKING)
Police. Anybody home?
(TENSE MUSIC)
Looks like things just went from
Norman Rockwell to Norman Bates.
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)
Everything else looks pretty
untouched. No signs of struggle.
Tell that to the
previous owners of those.
They're not human. Cow
or deer would be my guess.
Anything some butcher or
hunter would have access to.
All those abs, and he dusts
Too bad he's a psychopath.
I don't think he did this.
I'm gonna get forensics
to get some blood samples.
And then, I need to track
down whoever saw Lucas last.
Uh, uh, uh, "we" need to track
down. There's no "I" in team.
Yeah, but there is in infuriating.
Actually, there's three I's.
But who's counting?
One of Lucas's employees called
in a missing person's report.
Hoping we can shed some light on
Look. The Welcome Center.
You know who works at Welcome Centers?
People who like talking to people.
And people who like talking to
people know all the hot goss.
So much for teamwork.
- (PATRONS): What is happening?
- Hurry up, where's my food?
I've been here for 20 minutes.
A wrong order!
Honestly, Daryl, this bacon is all fat.
- I'm sorry, but like
- This is mutton. Not lamb.
- Where's Lucas?
- Hi. I'm gonna need to speak with you privately.
Everybody, this is now
a police investigation.
I'm gonna need you to clear
out, okay? Everybody, move.
Let's go. Thank you.
Alright. You filed the
missing person's report?
Lucas didn't show up for work yesterday.
And, like, he didn't open
the shop this morning either.
You didn't think to check his place.
Dude's not answering his phone,
he's not gonna answer his door.
I've been looking for his
special dry rub recipe all night.
Mrs. Gaskill out there ordered
ribs for her daughter's birthday.
- What the heck am I gonna rub her ribs with now?
- Okay,
take a deep breath. Did Lucas
ever bail on you like this before?
No way. That's why I got freaked, man.
He's never even missed a day.
Was Lucas into anything
weird or strange?
He's into farm to
table, and nose to tail,
and beer, he likes beer.
- Did he have any enemies?
- No way. He grew up here.
Took over the shop from his dad.
He even gave me a job when I
got fired from the fudge shop.
The guy even makes his own deliveries.
Like, in person.
Oh, yeah, our van's missing, too.
Okay, well, I'm gonna need
the licence plate to that van
and a list of all the deliveries
that Lucas made on
his last day, alright?
You got it, officer.
- Can I be honest?
- Mmm?
Purple is def you.
You're too sweet. Are you
in town for our wine fest?
That's one of the reasons.
Hey, I don't mean to
snoop, but that book,
it saved my life when
my ex ran out on me.
Yeah, um, the heart chakra
affirmations are helping,
but if I'm honest, it's my fault.
I never learn.
Listen, I don't usually
tell people this, but
I can read auras.
And yours is like this brilliant pink.
I don't know, is it like an indigo?
- Really?
- Yes!
You're loving, caring, empathetic,
you're the total package.
You're not the problem. It's them.
Oh, uh Thank you.
Can I ask you a question?
Your hunky butcher is
burning up the socials.
- And I hear he's gone AWOL.
- What? I had no idea.
Weird, right? Do you know him?
Yeah, everybody knows
everybody around here.
But are you sure he's missing?
I made a special trip for his
insta-famous sausage rolls.
They are delicious.
But if you will excuse me,
I have a ton of work to do.
Feel free to help
yourself to a brochure.
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)
- Hey.
- Grape lady was definitely sleeping with Lucas,
but I don't think it ended well.
- She told you that?
- She didn't have to.
She's realigning her heart chakras.
And every time she talked about
him, she played with her hair.
- Textbook tell.
- Lucas's van is missing, too.
I just put out a BOLO.
And I got a list of all Lucas's
deliveries the day he disappeared.
His last stop was at a restaurant
named "Tralicci" at the local winery.
Shut up. Check out this graphic.
Has the same stick
figures in the background.
Just like the ones we
found in Lucas's trailer.
Look at us, two investigators
coming to the same conclusion.
Two minds thinking as
one. Otherwise known as
- Coincidence.
- Teamwork.
(CLASSICAL MUSIC)
- You're here about Lucas?
- What makes you say that?
It's a small town. News travel fast.
No, I said julienne.
A baby with a chainsaw could
have done better than this.
Start over, now!
The day Lucas disappeared,
your restaurant was his last stop.
Well, you're more than
welcome to look around,
but unless he's in
the walk-in fridge
You're not concerned he's missing?
He's a grown man. I'm not his keeper.
Anybody who might have
had it in for Lucas?
Everyone loves Lucas. Everyone.
We saw some stick figures
that were very similar to
these in Lucas's trailer.
Oh, it's just local superstition.
The totems represent
the harvest blessing.
It's total nonsense, but you
know the tourists eat it up.
Siobhan, Siobhan! What in
the world are you thinking?
We will talk about this later.
I am prepping the lunch rush.
No, we'll talk now. You turned
the restaurant vegetarian
- without consulting me?
- I've gone off meat.
But what even is celiac
carpaccio and Cool Robbie sorbet?
It's celeriac and kohlrabi.
They're vegetables. Keep up.
What kind of wine am I
supposed to pair with that?
I don't know, Harlan. Okay?
Put the regular menu back
or you no longer have a job.
Carpaccio?
- You are?
- Harlan Stanford.
- Like the town?
- Yes.
My grandfather founded the town,
and my father founded the winery.
We're investigating the
disappearance of Lucas Mays.
When was the last time you saw him?
Uh, a week or so ago.
But the chef deals with
all the food deliveries
so you should ask her,
while she still has a job.
You don't really think
he'd fire you, do you?
You know, in high school, Harlan
was a rich, entitled little prick.
And that hasn't changed.
So when did you switch to vegetarian?
- Couple days ago.
- So right after Lucas' last delivery?
Yeah. I told him that I
was cancelling our account.
- How did he react to that?
- Well, he wasn't thrilled.
We are all eating too much meat.
Meat, meat, meat!
It couldn't go on forever.
I mean, it had to stop.
(PLATE SHATTERING)
Idiot!
Thanks for your time.
Go Lucas. First Mona,
then the hot chef in town.
- Yeah, there's differently a history there.
- I mean, you saw the way
she was punching that dough
every time she talked about him.
I think that Lucas was playing
hide the kielbasa with Siobhan.
Not anymore.
Hey, look.
This bottle from 1922 sold
to a collector for 50 grand.
Don't get any ideas.
When my father first started
this winery, it was a humble,
three acres, small store.
But thanks to the support
of this incredible community,
and maybe a little business
brilliance on my behalf.
- (APPLAUDING)
- Oh, it's alright.
The Stanford Winery can proudly say
we have over 100 acres of vines,
an award-winning restaurant,
and are currently being
sold across North America.
What's more, today,
I'm excited to announce our own
recently discovered vintage wine.
Unseen by human eyes for
almost a hundred years.
And now, you'll please excuse me. Enjoy.
I would like you to
remember we sell by the case
and drink up.
Pam, Pam!
Do not put these up here.
Wow. Small town, big drama.
Have you seen my wolf? Her name's Tala.
She's a grey timber wolf.
- Um, somehow she got loose.
- Pam? Pam!
- You see her
- Pam! Hi, how you doing?
You're scaring the clientele.
You can't tape these up.
It's private property.
Hey, is there a problem here?
Yes, this woman is
trespassing. Please arrest her.
Shut it, Harlan.
- I run the wolf rescue next door.
- And one of your wolves is missing?
She's not just missing, she vanished.
I can't understand how.
Look, just because you
can't control your animals
is no reason to scare my clientele.
You know how important
Wine Fest is to this town.
So if I do see your damn (GUNSHOT)
- What the heck was that?
- Bird cannon.
They're shooting birds out of a cannon?
Is that like a small town thing?
No, it's a noise maker to keep
the birds away from the grapes.
Usually, it goes off
a couple times a day.
Well, how come it isn't
scaring off those birds?
Red-tailed hawks? They're
probably circling prey.
Tala
- Excuse us.
- By all means.
Anyone else getting creepy
Red Riding Hood vibes?
Wolves don't usually
attack unless provoked.
And carrion birds, they wouldn't
fly that close to the wolves.
They must have found something big.
Wow. Your Discovery Channel
subscription's really paying off.
I like to leave the TV
on for the cat, you know?
He likes those animal documentaries.
I'm sure Marc really appreciates it.
- Stay back.
- Why? What is it?
No!
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
There's no way my wolves did this.
They know Lucas. He
was a kind, wonderful
I can't believe.
We'll find whoever did this.
You go back to the house.
We'll join you in a minute.
- Hey, you can't say that.
- Say what?
"I promise we're gonna catch the
bad guys." You can't say that.
Someone she knows was gruesomely
mauled. What was I supposed to say?
Cops can't make
guarantees like that, Max.
Plus, Pam could be the
murderer for all we know.
Pam? No. What you looking at?
Not much. Was hoping for some
footprints but not in this grass.
There's hardly any blood either.
How does someone get ripped
to shreds and not bleed?
When someone's killed, they only keep
bleeding so long as
their heart keeps pumping.
So Lucas was dead by the
time the wolves got to him?
Which means this missing person's
case just became a murder.
And Wine Festers are headed to a town
where a killer and a wolf is the loose.
Exactly, so we need to act fast.
I think he was killed somewhere
else and then dumped here.
Ew, do you think the murderers
were hoping the wolves
- would finish off their dirty work?
- Maybe but it doesn't make any sense.
There's high fencing
all around the property,
so how did Lucas's body
appear and a wolf disappear
all from within a secure facility?
- Unless
- What?
Lucas was the wolf.
Okay. You're not helping.
All my wolves are chipped
so I can track them.
And they're all accounted
for except for
Tala. Her tracker's disappearing
and reappearing constantly.
- How's that possible?
- I've walked the grounds.
There's no gap in the
fencing. The gates are secure.
One minute she was
there, the next, gone.
Have you known Lucas for long?
We went to high school together.
We didn't really travel
in the same circles.
He was handsome,
star jock, prom king.
Let me guess, you
were the shy, nerdy kid
who would rather hang out
with animals over people.
- Does it still show?
- You wear it well.
Talk to me about after graduation.
I left town for college.
Studied zoology and became
fascinated with wolves.
Last year, I inherited this land,
and decided to move back,
and open the sanctuary.
And you said your wolves
were familiar with Lucas?
- They knew him?
- He made deliveries a couple times a week.
So they got to know
the sound of his van.
He'd always drop the
meat off here with me.
He never went out into the property.
Certainly not by himself.
It's just not fair.
Lucas was one of the good guys.
And they are few and far between.
When was the last time you saw him?
The day he disappeared.
He swung by with my delivery,
but when he heard that Tala was missing,
he said that he would help find her.
(ELECTRONIC PING)
That's the wolf tracker.
Let me guess, you think Pam
was sleeping with Lucas, too?
There was definitely
something simmering there.
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)
She's back. Tala's back.
- Where?
- Outside the sanctuary.
Tala!
So we're wolf hunters now?
We just need to confirm her story.
She disappeared again.
I don't understand.
She was heading in
this direction, right?
That's Lucas's van. Do you smell that?
Yeah, it's hard not to.
Tiny hearts?
- Chicken hearts.
- Catching on to a theme here.
But who would buy a
box of chicken hearts?
Somebody named Peter Millford,
at 435 West Valley Lane.
That guy's so into
hearts, maybe he's the one
that put them in Lucas's trailer.
I use the hearts in my dissection class.
Makes me glad I was homeschooled.
How well did you know Lucas Mays?
We grew up here. Went
to this school together.
Class of 2009.
I couldn't believe it when
I heard about his murder.
Who said it was a murder?
Oh, well, everybody was
talking about the body, I
- Right. Small town.
- I just assumed that it was you know?
You want to open up a window?
You're just looking a little hot.
I'm fine, but I do have a parent-teacher
meeting I should get to so
Right, well, we won't take
too much more of your time.
Can you think of anyone that
would want to harm Lucas?
No. I mean when I heard the body
was found on Pam's land, I
You don't think she
- Do you?
- What? No.
We were all kids together.
Pam was a bit of a loner back in school.
We didn't really hang out much.
But I know she tutored Lucas in math.
Now if you'll excuse me,
I really should get to that meeting.
- You can see yourselves out.
- Sure. Thanks for your time.
Call me crazy
You say that like it's
supposed to be a leap of logic.
You saw the way he was cleaning his
glasses every time
we talked about Lucas.
Maybe he's just nervous because
he's the one who killed him.
- Or maybe he was hiding another secret.
- Such as?
Mona from the Welcome Center,
Siobhan, the winery chef,
and Peter, hunky science school teacher.
I think they were all getting
a piece of grade A Lucas.
I mean, look at them all here
rocking those hot Y2K looks.
All except for Pam,
who's clearly marching to
the beat of her own drum.
I don't trust him.
C'mon, grab the book, let's go.
Parent-teacher meeting,
you really buy that?
Nope. His hand was shaking too much.
What the
Someone broke into my truck.
My bag is missing.
- And my shawl and my hat.
- So is my uniform.
(ENGINE REVVING)
Hey. That's Peter.
(TENSE MUSIC)
Well, unless his parent
teacher meeting is a mobile one,
I think we got ghosted.
- You gonna pull him over?
- No. I wanna see where he's going.
I wonder what you were
like in high school.
Quarterback, unexpected drama club star.
You just keep on poking
the bear, don't ya?
It's either that or we play "I Spy."
I was a regular kid, Max.
Average grades, nothing special.
- Boring.
- Yeah, boring. Exactly.
- You?
- I didn't go to school.
- Never?
- We were always on the move.
Paris, Lisbon, Barcelona,
Pine Bluff, Arkansas.
That was a tough year.
So you grew up on the run, huh?
We weren't running from anybody.
We moved because we wanted to.
New languages, cultures.
How many kids get that chance?
I learned more than I
ever would have in school.
Like how to pick a
lock in seven languages?
Mais oui.
(CHUCKLES)
Where's he going?
Looks like he ditched his car.
(DOOR SHUTS)
Are we really gonna be one
of those couples who get out
of their car in a deserted
country road in the night
and chase a chicken heart
freak into the woods?
- Here, take this.
- "Why yes, Max! Yes, we are."
Okay, perfect. What's next?
Going down into a dark basement
to check on the fuse box?
- Quiet.
- Ignoring that creepy doll
with the eyes that follow you.
(SHUSHING)
Listen.
(INDISTINCT CHANTING)
- What's that?
- You hear that?
He's chanting.
Yes, that's definitely chanting.
And this is me, definitely leaving.
Wait. C'mon, look.
There's smoke up ahead.
You know what they say, "Where
there's smoke, there's
ritual sacrifice?"
Wait a minute. Those
Those are our clothes.
It's us. They're burning us.
(CHANTING CONTINUES)
We, uh We did it.
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
Are you saying that the
three of you killed Lucas Mays
and then dragged his
body into the wolf rescue?
- What?
- We were all in love with him.
So when you found out he was
sleeping with other people,
- you all decided to kill him.
- No, no. We all knew.
You all knew that you
were all sleeping with him?
Yeah. It's not the 90s.
Ethical non-monogamy is the norm now.
Maybe I do like this town.
But then a few days ago, things changed.
Out of the blue, he told us
he couldn't be with us anymore.
He said he met someone.
Someone he loved.
Someone he wanted to be monogamous with.
He wouldn't tell us who.
Only that being with any of us
would betray his feelings for them.
We never meant to hurt Lucas.
We never, ever would.
I was happy that he
found that kind of love.
But you wanted it for yourself.
Yes, but love is wanting
what's best for someone.
Still it hurt, and we needed to
find a way to move on and so we
- so we turned to
- Witchcraft.
Mona, and Peter, and I have
been in a coven for years.
Maybe I love this town.
But we would never use it for evil.
We cast a spell to banish
him from our hearts.
Not to hurt him.
So the three of you set up that altar
in Lucas's trailer, is that right?
Three hearts for the
ones that he shattered.
But then he went missing.
And when you found his body, we knew
Our spell it backfired.
We didn't banish Lucas from our hearts.
We banished him from
the face of the Earth.
Alright, so this spell
you performed in the woods.
Why did you need to steal our clothes?
Oh, that was just a protection spell
to stop you from
figuring out what we did.
"Let prying eyes pay us no heed."
(KNOCKING)
Excuse me.
Hypothetically speaking.
How does one join a coven?
Alright, what do you got?
Pathology results.
Your victim died from a
gunshot wound through the heart
approximately three days ago.
Bullet went right through
him. And that's not all.
He had some black powder on his clothes.
Modern bullets don't
leave that kind of residue.
- Must have been an old gun.
- Very old.
- Probably an antique.
- (PHONE RINGING)
Alright, well, their alibis check out.
They work in a high school
carnival the entire day
and night of the murder.
So golden boy Lucas starts a new
relationship and winds up dead
Maybe there's another jealous
ex that we didn't notice?
Or maybe his new lover
turned out to be dangerous.
And we still don't know how Lucas or
the wolf got in and out of the property.
Hey, reception called.
They got a couple witnesses
downstairs who want to
come forward on your case.
- Great, who?
- Oh, umm
An old guy named
Dumbledore and a small child
with a little wand named Potter.
- Very funny.
- Chapter 8 of the team building manual.
Just drop it, Max.
"The struggle of one is the
struggle of the entire team."
Yeah, we're not the ones struggling.
Your best suspects so
far have been witches.
You guys are making this
entire station look like a circus.
He is busy trying to solve a
murder. What are you two doing?
Oh, he's got himself a cheerleader.
C'mon, let's get out of here.
Go team!
You have so much discipline.
I don't know how you do it.
It's not healthy to keep
all this anger in you.
And you should be angry. Okay,
let's do some roleplaying.
Not the sexy kind, the therapy kind.
I'll be Yates, and you'll be you.
- And go.
- And stop.
C'mon. You can't take
that. It's us against them.
There's no us, okay?
We're not partners, we're not a team.
And right now, we're nowhere
on this case. Alright, nowhere.
I guess you're right.
I'll see you in the morning.
(EMOTIONAL MUSIC)
(SIGHS)
(RHYTHMIC MUSIC)
- Hey.
- Hey.
Forensics sent us Lucas' belongings.
Thanks. Say hi to Sam for me, okay?
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)
- What's wrong, baby girl?
- Nothing. I'm fine.
- Oh, c'mon. Talk to me.
- It's okay, I'm
I'm just tired. Don't worry.
- I always worry.
- You never worry.
You're worry free.
Okay, I'm giving away
a father secret here.
You said you were fine. That's
your tell for "not okay."
Now dish.
Just pretend we're
back on the Cote d'Azur
and you're crying about little Fran├žois
- and how he broke your heart.
- He was so cute.
I'm all ears.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
- There's someone at the door.
- I got 15 more minutes.
I'll be fine. I gotta go. I love you.
I love you
New mansion, huh?
Variety is the spice of life.
Can I come in?
Sure. Wait, wait, wait.
I'm assuming this gesture
is your unspoken apology?
Or am I totally off base and you
just came here to snap at me again?
- No.
- No, I'm not totally off base?
Or no, this isn't your unspoken apology?
Please, stop talking. The first one.
I'm sorry I snapped at you. Alright?
Apology accepted. You hungry?
I could eat.
So I was looking through
Lucas' belongings, and he
My God, that's amazing.
I came up with the
recipe a few years ago.
I snuck into the VIP lounge
at a Harry Styles concert.
A few hours later, I
was on a long-haul flight
on his private jet
cooking for the whole crew.
You know his song "Adore You"
was written about this
very grilled cheese.
Look, I'm sorry. You were right.
I know you have a lot of
history with those guys
and a lot of stuff going on
inside that I don't know about.
And you don't have to tell me about it.
I'll just be more mindful the next time
she's such a colossal jerk.
Look at this.
Found it in Lucas's belongings.
He was carrying it around in his wallet.
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)
Lucas kept one half in his wallet.
Why do you have the other
half of this wish bone?
It's hard to grow up in a small town.
You get labelled early on,
and that's who you
are and always will be.
I went to school with
Lucas since the first grade,
and I don't think we ever spoke until I
was assigned to tutor
him in senior year.
I think I know where this is going.
Of course I fell for him.
He was kind, sweet,
and so much smarter than he
was ever given credit for.
The night before I left for college,
I found a love letter with
one half of a wish bone
that he'd left for me.
It said that if I felt
the same way he did,
then I should meet him at midnight
in the middle of town square.
This is like the best
John Hughes movie ever.
I went there, and I waited for hours.
And he never showed up.
Scratch that. It's like the
worst John Hughes movie ever.
When I moved back over a decade later,
he showed up at my door and apologized.
Said he got scared.
Scared of what?
He didn't think he was smart
enough or good enough for me.
I was leaving to do all these things,
and he was going to work
in his dad's butcher shop.
We started talking
every time he came by.
It was just like old times.
We spent over a decade apart
because we were scared to talk.
If we'd just been
honest with each other.
(TRACKER DINGING)
Is that your wolf tracker?
- That's not possible.
- What?
Tala's back in the sanctuary.
(TRACKER BEEPING)
She's here.
What? How did she get back inside?
(TENSE MUSIC)
Hi, baby girl.
(LIGHT GROWL)
There's a tunnel.
I've never seen that before.
That's how Tala got in
and out of the sanctuary.
She must have chewed her way through.
That's how the murderer
dragged in Lucas's body
without getting caught.
Please don't tell me we're going inside.
Oh, we're going in.
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)
Creepy, drippy cave. Very
apropos for murder, yes,
but for once, can a crime
take place in a bakery?
Where even are we?
My guess? These are
old rum-running tunnels.
They used to smuggle
booze in prohibition.
No signal.
Hey, look at this.
- Animal prints.
- Wolf tracks.
Tala.
Hey, do you remember when
Tala's signal kept disappearing?
She was probably running
in and out of these tunnels.
(GLASS CLANKING)
Hello darkness, so not my old friend.
Hey, look.
- (BUZZING)
- Huh.
Wow.
We must be under Harlan's vineyard now.
Bordeaux Grand Cru 1922.
- This bottle's the real deal.
- Yeah? How can you be so sure?
Paper is the hardest
thing to counterfeit.
I don't think any of
these have ever been used.
Yeah, these are all clean.
Oh, my Merlot.
- What?
- I think Harlan is filling these with box wine.
A little "cardboardeaux" if you will.
Corking it and selling it for 50 grand.
- It's exactly what he's doing.
- Genius.
- Not it's fraud.
- Fine, fraudulent genius.
Okay, so if Pam's wolf Tala
found this tunnel, I bet
Lucas did too and that's when
he caught Harlan in the act.
Why murder someone over
a $50,000 bottle of wine?
You mean a $50,000 counterfeit
scheme? It's a federal crime.
That's just for one bottle.
He gets caught doing this,
it's an end to that money train.
Not to mention some
pretty serious jail time.
Picture it. Harlan's a
legacy kid who runs this town.
Everything in it bears his name.
One wrong move and his name
would be forever tainted.
I mean, you get it. You're a legacy kid.
- No, I'm not.
- Your dad's a cop, you're a cop.
I mean, isn't part of the
reason you want your desk back
to restore your family name?
Okay, look, we have a theory, alright?
But not a bullet, a crime
scene, or anything that suggests
Harlan saw Lucas the
night of the murder.
Okay, here's a thought. I get out
of this creepy, gross, bad tunnel.
- Really?
- Let me finish.
And then I'll go call for
backup and keep an eye on Harlan.
While I look for the bullet
and anything that can tie
Harlan to Lucas's murder.
See? The team is built.
We're like one machine.
Like Rapinoe and Morgan.
- Who?
- Do you not watch women's soccer?
Okay, look, just be careful.
Any backup is at least an hour away.
Got it, big cheese.
Yates, enough with the Sabrina
jokes, the moment's passed.
We need backup so floor it.
And when I added the restaurant
and elongated the cellar,
I made a fascinating discovery.
A prohibition era cache of vintage wine
almost a hundred years old.
You know what that son of a bitch did?
- Harlan, what?
- He fired me.
- I'm so sorry.
- It was long overdue.
I'm actually kind of relieved.
When it comes down to it,
I have given this place
the best years of my life.
What did I get in return?
Besides callouses, back pain,
and mild drinking problem.
I'm sure.
And I've always wanted
to leave this small town
and open my own shop. I guess
now I don't have an excuse.
- Good for you.
- You know what I think I'm gonna call it?
- "Siobhan's."
- That has a nice ring to it.
Thank you!
Damn it! Look, okay, I got to go.
Um, text me for the grand opening, okay?
Do you know where Harlan
is? I need to talk to him.
He had to get something
from the basement.
Everyone, the wine tour will be
starting in just a "Prosecco-nd."
Like just a second but with prosecco?
(CLEARS THROAT)
I'm gonna take a break.
(TENSE MUSIC)
(AIRY CHUCKLE)
(GUN CLICKING)
What are you doing here?
(TENSE MUSIC)
Put your gun on the
ground and kick it over.
Slowly.
That's it.
(GRAVEL RUSTLING)
What you doing?
Just admiring your
counterfeit operation you got.
Guess Lucas did, too, and that's
when you killed him, right?
I offered to cut him in, but the
idiot had morals and wouldn't bite.
He left me no choice.
There's always a choice, Harlan.
This isn't just about the money, is it?
It's about what happens
if this winery goes down.
- We built an empire here.
- Well, your daddy built an empire.
Now you're about to lose it.
A hit like that would be pretty
devastating to your reputation.
I'm the king of this city.
People look up to me.
For now. But your father
was a true wine maker.
He left you a legacy.
You just turned this place
into some tourist trap
that sells cheap wine at a premium.
You get caught with
this counterfeit crap,
you're done.
That's never gonna happen.
Even your gun's prohibition era.
You sure that dusty
old thing still shoots?
- (GUNSHOT)
- Okay.
Yeah, that definitely shoots.
Look, if you shoot me with that gun,
powder residue will match
the wound on Lucas's body.
Not to mention the bullet in the barrel.
Well, I'll just have to make
sure they never find you.
Don't do anything stupid, alright?
I got backup on the way.
C'mon. We both know
that there's no backup.
(MAX): Alright, right this way folks.
Watch your step, mind your neighbour,
and check your attitudes at the door.
What do we have here?
A recreation, no doubt,
of a very special event that
happened at this very winery.
Okay, so hang back people.
And get your phones rolling.
Definitely not gonna want to miss this.
This story of yore begins as such.
Youngest member of the
most prominent family
struggles to keep the business afloat.
And spoiler alert, he sucks,
so he fakes a buried treasure.
Makes a barrel of money,
until he's discovered
by the local butcher
who's actually the
town's most beloved son.
Money usually gets
him out of everything,
but the butcher's a good,
decent, hot, incorruptible man.
Everything the loser son is not.
- So the butcher has to die.
- Would you shut her up?
(GUN CLICKING)
Oh, believe me, I've tried.
Harlan Stanford, you're under
arrest for the murder of Lucas Mays.
Turn around, put your
hands behind your back. Now!
(APPLAUDING)
We went over Harlan's financials,
turns out his vineyards were growing
mostly spoiled crops over the years.
Sounds like he was up
to his ears in debt.
Exactly. Which is why he
started selling these so-called
"Vintage bottles" every few months.
Just to keep the place afloat.
It turns out it was just bad
luck that Lucas found him out.
The butcher was genuinely
a good, decent guy.
- Not many of those left.
- Nope, there aren't.
I got a meeting. Out of my office.
So, what do you want to do to celebrate?
Toilet paper Yates's house?
I'd save it for yourselves.
Both of your careers are
getting flushed down the drain.
She helped me catch a
murderer today, what'd you do?
She solved today's Wordle.
- Oh.
- Oh.
You hungry? I'm buying.
I got it in four tries.
The word was "Foyer."
Probably couldn't get that if you tried.
Couldn't solve that.
You couldn't solve that!
Why didn't you say it sooner?
They're not even here anymore.
I don't know, they turned the corner.
If you're gonna have my
back, have my back right away.
It's not your grilled
cheese, but it'll do.
Nothing is like my grilled cheese.
So, you said you moved
around a lot growing up,
must have been hard to make friends.
My parents are my friends.
Okay, so
If you didn't go to school and
you didn't have any friends,
what were you doing while
your parents were out, um
I was never alone.
I played with Holly Golightly,
John McClane, Sarah Connor.
I sang with Mick and
Keith, Salt and Peppa.
I hung out with Dawson, Pacey, Joey.
Until things got weird. There
was always so much drama.
Yeah, but those aren't real people.
- They were to me.
- Sounds lonely.
- Sorry to hear that.
- I had a wonderful childhood.
My folks were really great people.
- Do you really not see it?
- See what?
Max.
Your parents were criminals.
They put you in a position where they
could've been taken
from you at any minute.
That wasn't a normal childhood.
My parents loved me.
- They gave me everything I needed.
- Like what?
They taught me to never punch down,
never work a mark that wasn't deserved,
and to always lend out my
hand to anyone within reach.
So don't tell me that my
parents aren't good people.
They taught me to survive in a
world where no one has your back
unless they want something from you.
We looked out for each other.
We were a team.
I'm glad you were on mine today.
Thanks for having my back.
Back at ya.
So
Since we're temporarily teammates.
That's a hard no. I'm
not putting that on ever.
They're not giving
us matching t-shirts,
we got to have our own swag.
Just put it on once, I'll close my eyes.
What? No, I'm not gonna put that on.
- Please!
- When did you even have time to do that?
Partners in wine. Partners in crime.
You're kidding, right? No, I
don't do hats. I don't like it.
- They're so cute. It was expensive.
- Well, then, you wasted your money.
Okay, just keep it. You
know, it'll grow on you.
Previous EpisodeNext Episode